#229 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (4th October 2019)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. And please only listen when you can safely close your eyes and and and and yeah check out the website. Every single recording is on there and maybe you'd like to leave a testimonial just you know click on testimonial and write down what you think of this podcast.

And that's it and if you'd like to send me a gift then yay there's a gift me page there as well. So what I'm going to do today is I'm going to have a quick drink. See what I like to do, I like to do different things.

I like meaning in life. I mean in these Let Me Bore You to Sleep recordings because I've done a lot of them. 220 something.

Sometimes I'll talk about the past, sometimes I'll talk about what I've done that day, sometimes I will talk about maybe plans for the future. Other times I will read out stuff from some books that I've collected specifically just for this podcast. And other times I'll read articles and look through a magazine that I buy just for this podcast.

And today is going to be one of those days. And I've just bought Closer. It's a magazine that I don't think I've read out of before.

And it's issue 872. For the 5th to 11th of October 2019. Cost me £1.85. In the Canary Islands it costs 3, I think that's 3 euros 20.

In Spain it's 2 euros 95. In Greece it's 3 euros 30. Now that don't make sense because euro is the same.

Why would it be different? Well if it's Canary Islands that's not in Europe. Oh no it is isn't it? Spain and Greece it's all Europe. If it's the euro I'd have thought it would be the same price.

I already said that didn't I? I don't really I'll say it one more time. I thought it would be the same price wherever you was in Europe. Clearly not.

I suppose Greece, Spain and the Canary Islands are popular holiday destinations for English persons. So I imagine you know when you go on holiday you're going to want to buy the magazine aren't you? It's something that you'd I imagine you'd really miss. Yeah I mean I'll be honest with you when I got home I had a little look at the front cover and I put it on the table and then I went into the kitchen and I really missed it.

I really felt a degree of loss some kind of attachment issues with the magazine so I came back in and I cuddled it and I feel better now. So it's called Closer and it's kind of I don't know what's the best way to describe it. It's kind of like a gossip magazine really about celebrities and stuff and again I think it's got a... I think it's it's aiming for it's got its readership.

I'm trying to be careful how I... of course I'm included in that aren't I today? So I don't I don't normally read these kinds of magazines unless I'm waiting at the dentist. So on the front cover of the top Real Life I spent £80,000 to look like a sexy blow-up doll. Okay okay I'll come to that.

Fear for Fern over new romance. Hasn't grabbed my attention yet. Rebecca I won't let trolls spoil my pregnancy.

Okay still... ah there is a 15 page TV guide inside which is handy so I can use that for... because what I really find useful with the television guide is when I want to know what's on television I pick the TV guide up and I'll go to the day the date that I'm you know that I'm living in if it's for example it's the 4th of October 2019. So I go to that day and then I look at the time or the time is now and it's 24 minutes past midnight and I'll just go down and I'll look through the listings for that kind of time to see what's on. It's a good way to find out what's on telly.

So I'm just turning it over. Shall I tell you what else? Cheryl's fury over Liam's bombshell. She looks... doesn't look furious.

Plus her ex finally opens up about Rita. It didn't do much for my personal life. Oh and in the middle it's payback time.

What's payback? Lauren's night with Jordan's ex. The truth. And under that cover shop now pay later.

This season's must-have toys. Very. And that's the... it's actually a really good company.

It's a good website. Very.co.uk I don't know if it's a very.com but what I didn't realize is they are affiliated to Littlewoods. In fact I think they are possibly Littlewoods rebranded and that's what I'm thinking because I ordered a shed and a shed for my uh bedroom and it I've got a text saying it's been ordered from Littlewoods.

I didn't order it from Littlewoods. Oh Glenn Medeiros. Remember that? Never gonna prove my love for you.

How much I love you. That's uh on top of the pops right now. I wonder if my glasses will let me actually see the screen.

Yeah it will. I can see the screen I just can't see the images. Now I can.

Oh Glenn Medeiros. Almost sounds like a drink doesn't it? You want a Glenn Medeiros? No I'll just have a shandy. I'll have a Glenn Medeiros.

No you're only nine. Oh okay then. So welcome to closer.

That's the inside bit. So I'll take my glasses off again. Inside this issue on the cover lies anger at Chris uses her to make Gerald jealous.

Cheryl tells Liam don't don't pick me as the bad guy. Liam. My duet with Rita didn't do much for my personal life.

Page 16. Fern warned against rushing into new romance with Jordan. Page 34.

Real life blow-up doll. My designer vagina nearly killed me but I can't wait to have more surgery. There's something about learning isn't there? There's something about learning.

I had this cosmetic surgery that nearly I lost my life nearly but I'll continue doing it. Yeah yeah. Rebecca I've been body shamed through my pregnancy.

And I knew someone years ago and he he was grumpy. This is a long time ago like 2005 or whatever. And he was grumpy because his girlfriend was pregnant and she didn't have the same body anymore.

I'll try to say she fully has got the same body it's just different shape. He said yeah I know that. I know that.

I know she hasn't got a different body. I said you said that she's got a different body. Yeah I was talking about the shape innit.

Talking about the shape. And he was really unhappy because his baby was growing and making her tummy bigger. And what did he expect? He expected it to grow out of her back.

I, Ryland, are trying to find something. Age defying stars at 50. 32.

Let's go to that one. Just to have interest because I'm nearly there Age defying stars at 50. So who have we got? Oh they've got before and after pictures.

That's useful. So they've got J-Lo, Jennifer Lopez. And they all look older.

But we're supposed to look older. It's kind of, mind you, Jennifer Aniston facially seems to look different to how she did in Friends. Was it the Jennifer Aniston hairstyle that everyone went loopy about in the 90s? Was it the 90s or was it 2000s Friends was in? No it was the 90s wasn't it? I can't believe how long ago it was.

It was so the 90s. I think it was or was it 2000s? No it was the 90s. I don't know.

So they've got three people. It's got Jennifer Lopez. They've got Gwen Stefani and Jennifer Aniston.

And so and they're all 50 apparently. And my question would be what's wrong with aging? You know we all age. It's normal isn't it? Unless they haven't got Madonna on there.

That's because she's 90. I used to really like Madonna. And I mean really, really like Madonna.

And I used to be so, I was so pretentious when it came to Madonna because she used to get so much flack for the costume she wore and the videos she made in the 80s and even the 90s as well. But she'd, you know, I used to say to people, I used to argue, I used to say, listen, when I'm listening to Madonna, her music, her album, I'm not looking at the picture of the album. And the response that I got sometimes, some people say, yeah, yeah, okay, whatever.

And another person say, so have you decided to what loaf of bread you're going to have? You know, you've got that, you know, there's only three left. It's like, okay, we'll decide. We'll get out the bakers.

We've got other customers to deal with. Because I was asking, I was talking to a baker for no real reason really. It's kind of a weird situation.

That's why I mentioned that. The thing is, I was looking at the cover of the album. The True Blue cover.

Man, I watched that True Blue, I think it was Papa Don't Preach video, probably 6 million times. It's guaranteed. There's a lot of videos on YouTube, they get really big views, something like millions, billions, whatever.

If YouTube had been around when Madonna was around. Because that's the thing. I don't, it's a harder thing.

It's hard for any of us to realise, I came before. It's hard for even my generation, really, to get an idea of just how big the Beatles and Elvis was. I get an idea of it, but just how massive they were.

How, you know, and people born, people that are now in their teens, won't, I don't think they'll be able to get their idea, their head around how big Madonna was in those days, in the early 80s. Or was it 84, 83, 84, 85, onwards? If that Papa Don't Preach video was on YouTube, YouTube would have, it would have just collapsed. It wouldn't have been able to handle, that, I don't know, that'd be the biggest watched video, mainly by teenage boys, probably.

And me, but I was a teenage boy at the time. But I had on a video recorder. And so I had on a videotape, and I recorded it off Top of the Pops.

And I'd watch it when there was no one else in the flat, because that was a time when I was sleeping. It was my stepmum's mother's flat that we were living in, and I was 16. And I was sleeping on the floor, like on a camper bed thing, in the living room.

And my stepmum was in one room with my little brother. He was eight. And the other one, the other one, her mum, the other one, her mum was in her bedroom.

And when there was no one around, I'd put on the video of Papa Don't Preach. I watched it too many times. And to this day, to this day, my, because it was my step-grandmother's flat, I remember years later, I still just couldn't get a head around how the television melted.

How, how can the television just melt? But overactivity, Madonna's got a lot to answer for. That's about all the skin grafts. No, I'm joking.

But yeah, I really, really like Madonna. I liked her albums. I liked the, was it 1989, Like a Prayer.

After that, I wasn't bothered with her anymore. It's really weird. So I liked her first four albums in the 80s.

And as soon as Like a Prayer finished, it's one of my favourite albums of all time ever. And I didn't, I still listened to her, I still heard her on the radio. And she still had loads of hits all the way into, well, she'll still be going, won't she, probably.

3044, she'll still be there. Probably has stilts for legs, but she'll still be around. And I remember once I had this girlfriend.

And like what I'm doing now, I'm talking, but I've got the television on, I'm silent. But back then, unlike now, it's a bit foggy, like the screen isn't clear. But back then, I could see without glasses.

I'll be going back to 2006. And it was around, I don't know, October time. And she'd phoned me up wanting to talk.

So eventually I had to answer the phone. And I was watching Bo Selector. It's a comedy sketch like show.

And the bloke that does it, he was dressed up as Madonna in a leotard. And he was, that was when she was going through that period of super yoga body, kind of. And he was just, and he doesn't have, he doesn't have a yoga body.

So he's dressed in this leotard, dressed as Madonna. And doing all these sort of weird movements. And my girlfriend was trying to have a serious conversation with me.

And unfortunately, there's no way of putting it on pause. I want, it's not her. I mean, that's what I mean.

I wanted to sort of put her on mute, so I could laugh. But you know, it's very funny. I don't like being interrupted when I'm watching stuff.

I like to just watch stuff, you know. So selfish in my old age. My nan always used to say to me, um, what's it, you, family's more important than television.

Now I love my nan a lot. I really have, you know. But she was wrong.

Television is more important when a program's on. When a program's finished, fine. I'll make a little bit of room for family and stuff.

But what's the point in watching a game show or a film for an hour and a half, and in the last five minutes, someone knocks on the door, rings the phone. You miss the last five minutes of the film. It happened to me recently.

A neighbor's friend knocked on my door. Ten minutes near the end of the film that I was watching, and it was Red 2. I'd just seen Red, the first one. I loved it.

And Red 2 happened to be on as well, about two weeks later. So I was all actually looking forward to watching it. I don't look forward to much.

So it's kind of, yay. So I'm enjoying it. And then suddenly, bang, knock on the door, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

And all the, all that silliness. And I missed the end of the film. Now I enjoyed the film, so far, is what I'd seen.

But I ain't prepared to sit through the whole thing again just to listen and watch the end. I don't like watching films more than once, because unfortunately, my memory just tells me everything that's going to happen. If I've seen a film once, that's it, it sticks.

I can't even tell you, you could name the film, and I couldn't tell you anything about the film, possibly. But as soon as it starts playing, as soon as the, you know, the video starts, the film starts, it all just comes flooding back. And I can just, then I'm bored.

I don't want to watch it again. It's a bit like a relationship. Very samey.

And JLo, she says, I dipped alcohol and caffeine. Thing is, regardless of what she does in her life, you've got to have that one regret, because she could be married to Batman. But she's not, though, is she? Could have been married to Batman, JLo.

Gwen, I work out like a man. So that's the thing about Stef Nagwani, Stefani, Gwen, is I just figured that she was really old. Not because she looks old, but because she's been around forever.

I mean, I remember her, it's got to be in the 70s, she was around, singing. Was she in, oh no, it's No Doubt, I thought she was in Fallen On Plans. No Doubt.

No Doubt did, I don't even remember one song she sang. The star who turns 50 this week said, I'm not into yoga or Pilates. I'm more like a man.

I like lifting weights and doing a little boxing. See, that upsets me, that does. Very sexist.

It's a very sexist comment. I'm finding it hard to speak. Very, oh.

The Mara 3 added, there's no secret to getting my body. Well, no, you were just born, weren't you? That's how you got your body. You just have to eat healthy, work out, and torture yourself.

She also sticks to a mainly vegan diet and has kept her skin line free by avoiding the sun since she was in her 20s and wearing a daily SPF moisturizer. She's known for being very pale though, isn't she? Old Stephan Gostari. She's very, quite a pale person.

Jennifer Aniston. I love lasers and facials. Okay.

Oh, face massages. The key to Jennifer Aniston's toned vigor is working out with a personal trainer four times a week, plus 20 minutes of yoga every day. She recently said, mostly my body feels better at 50.

Hmm. The actress boosts her gym results with a strict gluten-free and low-carbon, high-protein diet. Despite her smooth complexion, Jen famously shuns Botox, saying in 2014, I am never to use that stuff.

It's all about hydration and things like LED light therapy, good lasers to tighten the muscles and massages for your face. And don't forget great creams. She said, this I don't get.

Oh my God. Oh dear. This is the, um, the lady called Mary that's trying to look like a, a life blow up doll.

And the weird thing is she looked really nice before. That's what's, obviously she didn't feel it. And wow.

See, I want to make fun, but the fact that I would say is there's clearly something going on in her mind that's not kind of working properly. If she thought that she looked, if she didn't like the way she looked before. So it kind of, yeah, good for her.

Let her do what she wants to do. It's no one else's business really, is it? But she does want to be in the papers. And she wants to, I suppose if it's from one angle, she, her face, she almost looks like she wants to be like, what's her name? Who's that rapper? The lady rapper.

The lady one, not Snoop Dogg. Not Eminem. Oh, I forgot her name.

Uh, she did starfish, not starfish, starship. And my anaconda won't lie, whatever, anaconda. She looks like her when, yeah, it's a gal porter.

Let's have a look at guest. She's a celeb guest. Every week we bring a brilliant guest columnist, gal porter is the person here.

She's TV presenter, 48, shares her opinions and her life. Now I follow gal porter on Twitter. And I know a bit about her.

So I read her book and I, she was diagnosed with bipolar a long time ago. And she also had alopecia, so she went bald. And she was also a big brother a couple of years ago.

And yeah, so I read her book, it was really interesting. And she used to be so perky, like full of energy doing TV programs when she was, well, when I was in my twenties. So I'm probably, but I'm 49, she's 48.

So yeah, kind of same age, really. It says here my typical day. Oh, it is funny.

Yes, it's, I'm up in the morning at 3am. I have insomnia, so I'm usually wide awake in the middle of the night. I start tweeting my insomnia crew, a group of friends on Twitter, who also suffer with me and everything like that.

Now I follow her, I actually posted, letting her know that I make sleep sessions. And one of her Twitter friends commented saying, I can't be much good if I'm awake at four o'clock in the morning, which seemed to make sense to him. I'm not awake because I can't sleep, I'm awake because that's the time I make my recordings.

I have no problem sleeping. If anything, I probably sleep too much. I have had problems in the past, but not these days.

You come when you think about it. If you listen to my voice and it's boring enough for you to go to sleep, imagine what it'd be like 24 hours a day. I've got this voice in my head 24 hours a day.

I'm practically walking around asleep. Okay, so this is her day. I'll then play a fitness DVD of some sort to get me ready for the day.

I love the Tracy Anderson one. So this is what'd be really cool, if she did like my stuff, or she listened to it and liked it, and she went and wrote this, I'll listen to this weirdo called Jason Newland. I'd suddenly get thousands and thousands of people that instantly, they might not, whether they'd stay or not, I don't know, but they'd be listening.

So any celebrities out there listening, please mention me. Only if you like me, of course. Only if you love me.

My days will be filled with different jobs, like voiceovers and meetings, and I'll be writing my book too, which I've just finished. I'll have a picky lunch, a bit of whatever is left in the fridge. I also like to make sure I get out and about in the fresh air, as it always makes me feel better.

So I'll have an afternoon walk at some point. My daughter, Honey, 17, she's got 17 daughters called Honey, with ex-husband Dan Hipgrave, is that colleague. So when she gets home, she'll have homework to do.

I sometimes try to help her, but it's all maths and so difficult. We'll watch TV in the evenings and she'll make a stir fry as I'm a rubbish cook, or we'll get a takeaway. I'll go on Tinder if I'm feeling brave, or sometimes go out with friends, but it's always to gay bars, so I never meet anyone.

I'll usually be in bed around 11pm. I can't believe she's single. I don't know, I just figure being famous would be, maybe that's very shallow of me, but I just thought famous people would, obviously wouldn't have to work quite so hard.

I don't know. For me, okay, my friend Frank Bruno was on Loose Women last week, talking about his mental health journey. I've done a few events with Frank, and he is an absolute hero.

He said that he took medication for his bipolar disorder, but it didn't work for him, and actually exasperated the issue. I'm the same. Antidepressants didn't make me feel any better.

Instead, I find exercises more effective, and I think it works best for me, especially running. Frank also said that he thinks there needs to be better mental health services in the UK, and I agree. The problem isn't going to get any better unless there's action to improve it.

See, Frank Bruno is, he's a boxing hero in England, and also he's got his own mental health charity that he started recently. I follow him on YouTube, no, not on YouTube, on Twitter. I think he's just opened a gym, or he's just about to open a boxing gym, and he did post on there saying, where's a good place to open it? Because he lives in Essex, and I said, can you open it in my town, please? But he didn't get back to me.

Let's have a look, whatever. Don't paint me as the bad guy. So Liam Payne and Cheryl, or whatever her surname is this week, is, they've got a son, and they called it Bear.

Bear. Bear. I can understand Bear as like a nickname, but not as a real name, like Bear.

I mean, just, what's, should we call him Cow? No. What about Duck? I suppose parts of Midlands, you could get away with that. Albatross? No, that's just silly.

What, what about Bear? That's sensible, yeah. Let's call him Bear. I do, I do.

My duet with Ruta didn't do much for my personal life. So, I can't even read it. I can't.

I can't. I can read it, I just, I'll fall asleep. So we're now at page 12.

How has Meghan won back the public's affection? I think the papers and the magazines and everyone pretty much should be surprised at how little interest anyone really has. It's, it's not something I'm pretty sure that Princess Meghan, or whatever her name is, is not at the forefront of most people's minds. I mean, the newspapers seem to want people to be interested in gossiping and stuff.

Just leave them alone. Let them be happy. Yol, yol, yol.

Fern warned not to rush things with Jordan. That's boring. Kim tells Kanye, I feel trapped.

After being humiliated at the MIs, it's more bad news for Kim Kardashian, as tensions surface with husband Kanye, Kanye, that's not a real name, is it? That's a made up name. Kanye, that's not a real name. What's wrong with Paul or Steve? Kanye, I wonder if that's his real name.

Kanye West, over plans for their family and future. Kim Kardashian reported, oh, they moved to Wyoming. Her husband, Kanye, purchased a sprawling 11.2 million ranch there for his family to live in.

Not just a ranch, but a sprawling ranch. Sprawling, almost sounds like it's falling down, stretching itself. Kim's now 38.

Wow. Just skimming through it. And I can't see anything of interest.

I'll skip through that. Article about teachers. I've lost 7,000 a year in salary, but I could never be a full-time teacher again.

I never fancied the idea of being a teacher. Not after what I put my teachers through. I just, I was annoying them.

I was a little brat I was when I was at school. My Strictly family helped me through my... Oh look, you can get closer on your digital device. Immediate, accessible, convenient.

Download in seconds. Read offline anytime. Easy back issue access.

Subscribe today at www.greatmagazines.co.uk. Best deal ever. Oh, look at that. I hear mum in that advert.

Yes. Uh, uh, wow, wow. No, it's just, let's skip that.

Mel B, the Spice Girls will do my new show for a laugh. Okay, so that's that. Um, I don't even know.

I mean, if this was in a dentist office, I don't know if it'd really keep me, I don't know. I think if I was reading this in a dentist office, I'd almost be looking forward to the receptionist calling my name to go in and be drooled just to get away from the magazine. Maybe that's why they put them in there.

Maybe they put these such awful magazines so that people just look forward to the medical procedure afterwards. Furious Ashton hits back at Nemi's threesome claims. I feel like myself again.

Jessica Simpson who feels a dramatically slimmer figure just months after giving birth. Well, most people do that, don't they? But once you're given birth, there's weight loss, isn't there, generally? Unless, of course, I'm wrong and that's never happened before. I don't mean the weight loss, I mean me being wrong and never before.

Has this ever happened? Don't be afraid to rush in if you know it's right. Alex and Olivia's Romance Rules. While love island relationships are notoriously fleeting, 2016 series contestants Alex and Olivia Bowen have just celebrated their one-year wedding anniversary.

Here they give closer and other islanders their tips for lasting happiness. So here's the one. Stay humble and stay grounded.

The next tip is be best friends as well as lovers. Third tip, try not to get distracted by attention from others. Next one, trust your instincts.

The next one is accept when it's not meant to be. And lastly, refrain from talking about your sex life. I don't understand what that means.

What's sex life? What? Emma Winner Foby. It's a beautiful way to say bye to Fleabag. After scooping three gongs at the recent Emmys and becoming the toast of Tinseltown, Phoebe Waller-Bridge opens up about her writing inspiration and Hollywood success.

Oh, so you're not making any more? I really liked it. How dare she? How dare she win three Emmys for a TV program, a comedy, and then not make any more? How dare she? That's ridiculous. I've never been so angry.

Oh, God, talking point. Here's this one. Would you refuse to date someone who's teetotal? I had that once.

I decided not to drink for a year in 2004. I don't mean liquid because I'd just turn into a prune, wouldn't I? I mean, you know, alcohol beverages. And it was medical reasons for it.

And I stopped. I chose to stop. And I had a date.

It was a blind date in either the January or the February 2004. And I met this lady. And she was already drunk by the time I got there, I think, to the pub, which is pretty good for me, I suppose.

But she couldn't get her head around why I wasn't drinking. Yeah, that's the whole story, really. That was boring, wasn't it? Wow.

That was even more. That wasn't even supposed to be boring, but it was. Asda, they've got rollback.

Thousands more in stock and online. Got a lot of cheap stuff. That's good.

Life and style. I've got stretch marks, stretch marks in cellulite, but I'm embracing it. Yeah, good for you.

The little one's got a stretch mark somewhere, hasn't it? Mine's on me, really. So Magic Wands. These game-changing mascaras promise to leave you with flutter-worthy lashes.

It's basically just one big bunch of adverts. Ah. So here's Dr. C's check-up.

Dr. Christian gives his take on the hot health topics of the week. It's advertising a strong deodorant for problem sweating. Our tester found that it works.

It stung a bit at first, but skin adapted quickly and you only need to use it every three days. What? And you buy it from a website called sweathelp.co.uk. Oh, he's saying that a cup of tea boosts brain power. Routinely having green or black tea makes your brain healthier and more youthful.

It turns out that regular tea drinkers have better organized brains, which protects against blah, whatever. Cool. Oh look, there's the puzzles.

The big crossword. Code crack. Guess the film still.

I don't know what it is, but I don't like puzzles. It's strange, isn't it? I just don't. I used to like playing word search.

But all these like crosswords and sudoku. I was in a pub. I think it was 2008.

And someone, another drunk person, was sitting at the bar trying to teach me how to play sudoku and I couldn't. I couldn't. Just didn't make sense.

Oh, spot the difference. I'm pretty good with that. The thing is, whenever I see a spot of difference, like two pictures, just two words always come to my mind.

Who cares? So I don't bother. Oh, country hits radio. It's really weird because country hits country music is absolutely huge in America.

And for those that love it, it's huge in this country as well. But I don't know any of the new singers. Any of the like the current country and western singers.

And they've got this picture with 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. I don't know if they're DJs or if they're singers. But they've kind of squashed them onto the page. But there's a girl on the right hand side and they clearly needed to squash her in.

So they've squashed her body. So her body is just really, really little. Really, yeah, they left the head the same size.

A bit of photoshop in there. Let's see. Correlation Street, no.

Hollyoaks, no. Top TV, 20 TV pics. OK, so what's it got there? Celebrity Juice, don't really watch that.

Catch, Zombo, that looks like it might be interesting. Pants on fire. I feel one of the problems I find with television is there's so much to choose from now, especially with the internet channels, you know.

Oh, I watched a good film today. I can't remember what it's called, but it's got Steve Carell. So you should be able to find it.

It's a plays. What is it? Yeah, I guess it would have been last year or the year before that it was made. So I watched it on Sky Movies, well now TV movies, so it must, at least last year, wouldn't have been this year.

But Steve Carell, you know, from The Office and the 40 year old virgin. And he plays, he makes these, a movie out of, I don't want to spoil it really, it's just a really, really good film. And it's, it's not Mark Zuckerberg that directs it.

I'm pretty sure it's the same bloke that did Semenberg or something like that. But it's really good. I'm not giving you a lot of information in mine, but it's really good.

It's basically, yeah, that's all I can think of. I can't, I haven't got the, the laptop open. So I can't really search and I can't use the phone because I'm using the phone right now.

What else is on telly? Plebs. If you've never seen Plebs, I do recommend that. Recommend it? I recommend Plebs.

It is funny. And there's nothing else that I can see that I want to watch or that they're recommending. Saturday night.

Hmm. No, there's nothing much on. So it's just a TV guide now.

Oh, there's a picture of Emilia. Oh, I didn't mean it in a weird way, but it's Emilia from Game of Thrones. The old ice queen.

And she's got a massive pair of shoes, got really high, high heels. From the looks of it, the heels themselves are as long as her feet are. That's a, that's a long heel.

She looks so different with her dark hair. Because in Game of Thrones, she's got more blonde hair, obviously, but then you might not know because you might not have watched it. She just looks so different.

It's on. And you wouldn't think a hair change, the color of the hair would change the way someone's face looks. But it seems to do with her.

Maybe I'll dye my hair blonde. Or blue. Yeah, I could dye my hair blue.

How about a blue Mohican? Yeah, a blue Mohican. Oh, yeah. So I'm gonna go thank you for listening.

And remember, go out and buy this. This magazine Closer, it's called. It's, so this episode cost me £1.85 to produce.

So thank you for listening. And I will speak to you very, very soon. Take care.

And remember to be kind to yourself. Because you deserve to be happy. And my laptop's making some weird noises now, for some reason.

Bye.