#228 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (3rd October 2019)

Hello, welcome to let me bore you to sleep. My name's Jason Newland and Andre yet again has woken up just as I started the recording. He's gone back in his bag again.

It's ridiculous honestly. I did a deep sleep whisper recording a couple of hours ago and he was fast asleep in the living room. So I closed the living room door, I go into the bedroom, close the bedroom door and I start making this recording.

It's only 20 minutes long, so I thought it should be fine. Within about two minutes, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch. I thought, I didn't know he could talk.

No, he was scratching the door. It wasn't even quiet. It was proper like continuous and he wouldn't stop.

So I had to pause the recording, go and get him out. I put him into his cage, which he hasn't been in for months until the end of the recording. And then I, the cage is in the storeroom.

Okay. I heard him making noise in there. So I guess he was trying to get out of the cage.

As soon as I finished the recording, I went and let him out of the cage. Picked him up, closed the door of the storage room, walked into the living room and put him down on the floor. He ran straight back to the storage room, start scratching at the storage room door.

He seems to be on a permanent wind up. Honestly, I don't like, yesterday he, two things, weird things he did. He was in the kitchen with me and I think I was just doing a washing up or something.

So he was just sitting there for a few minutes watching me. I go out of the kitchen. I think it was to get a plate or something from the living room.

Walk back in the kitchen. I nearly tread in a big turd. He's done a massive poo right in front of the kitchen sink.

And he's just sitting there looking at me like it wasn't, it wasn't me. You know what else he did? He actually walked up to it and sniffed it as if he was like trying to figure out where it came from. Like he didn't know anything about it.

And then about half an hour later, well probably not even that long, I'm sitting here. I've got a can of Coke in the drink holder in my chair. And I'm just sitting watching telly.

He jumps up, walks up my leg, climbs up and he rubs his bum all over my can of Coke, the top of the can. He never does that. At least I hope, oh God, I just realised maybe he does do that when I'm not around.

So when I leave the chair with the Coke, can of Coke in the holder and I go into the bedroom and do something or to the bathroom. Who knows what he's doing? So that was a bit annoying but I can't believe he did it in front of me though. It's one thing being naughty but to do it in front of me blatantly.

So yeah, what other things? What is it with bathroom lights? Is it some kind of contract? Whoever invented those string lights for bathrooms that you It was, I don't know, did he invent it, create it and he was like really happy but the patent office said no, you can only be patented, be able to painted it. Patent, whatever that was. We can patent it if you make it so loud that all your neighbours can hear every time you switch the light on and off.

That would have gone together if I was able to say the word patent. I can say it now. Patent.

Had a couple of people ask me questions. One was on YouTube and the other one was somewhere else. I think it might be YouTube, I don't know.

One person, and I've not replied yet because I only just saw the messages today, asking for the old video that I did years ago where I stretch my words. It might be the try and stay awake with hypnosis or try and stake awake, try and stake my words. Try and stay awake.

Hypnosis challenge or sleep challenge or something like that. Other than that, I don't know. I've made too many recordings to remember each individual one.

I don't know what I said in pretty much any of them really. And I had another person ask me, again I don't know where I saw this message but this was today as well. I think it might be in YouTube also, asking what recording was the one where I talk about being in the Sea Cadets.

I don't know. I can't remember. I can remember being in the Sea Cadets but I don't remember talking about being in the Sea Cadets.

I kind of vaguely remember talking about it. Was it the session where I'm talking about knots? Because I've got a book on knots. That might have been the one.

I don't know. And so since yesterday, quite a few things have changed. You know me, I like to make changes.

And so what have I done? I'm now back to just one website adjacentnewland.com. Just one website. That's the only one I've got now. And it's the only one I need.

Don't need lots of websites. I've got rid of the others. I got rid of two podcasts, SoundCloud and the podcast.co. Also, I wasted money yesterday.

I just wasted it. And yeah, I did. I also got rid of the adjacentnewland.store. So that's gone.

And I'm not gonna... Oh, Andre's got us to climb up and rub his willy over my coat now. You're not doing it, Andre. He's gonna now... There's something wrong with him.

I can't believe it. He picked up his girlfriend. I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna take you into the bedroom. I'm taking you away from him. I don't normally do this.

Normally, I put it on pause and do it, but he's following me. He's following me. Now he's buying at my slippers.

You hear it? What do you want? Now he's gone away again. Good. Hopefully, he'll stay away for at least... Oh, he won't.

He'll be back. Anyway, what... It's weird. I'm not used to making this recording and sitting on the edge of my bed.

He just rubbed himself over everything. I've got dumbbells, like weights, in my bedroom on the floor. I'm not holding him.

He's squeaking. Why are you squeaking, mate? Why are you squeaking? Can you hear him panting? He's panting. What do you want? I'm holding these and I'm licking off my hand.

What do you want, Andre? What exactly do you want? I wish I knew. I could... I'd still ignore it. I know you wouldn't get it, but at least I'd knew what, you know, at the moment I don't know what it is you want that I'm not giving you At least if I knew what it was, I'd know what it was that I'm not going to give you anyway Make it more enjoyable for me Look at me like that, I'm only kidding Why are you so weird? Do you hear what he said there? Call me weird?

Have you seen yourself in the mirror? That's so Andre, that's rude Don't talk about myself in my mirror like that I've got a very handsome mirror No, it's not from a fun fair He's so good What, like a magic mirror? Crazy mirror?

You're just rude So I, earlier today I took him out for a walk And this evening he's been scratching at the front door to get out He's been hassling me Every time I move, he jumps out of his bag and he follows me around So I took him for a walk tonight Just running around, just running up and down the hall into the different rooms I don't know what's wrong with him, honestly And I took him for a walk just after midnight And I don't generally go out at that time of night It's too early in the morning for him to be making so much noise It's a quarter past two I really, I don't Everything's louder, isn't it?

In the early hours Perhaps I just need to put him back in his cage But I like the idea of him being able to have the freedom of running around whenever he wants But he don't half push the barrier, he pushes that button I don't mean he's a considerate lover, I mean he's very, you know, he crosses the line quite a bit For what he does Anyway, I took him for this walk and he had me walking around for about an hour Because the lights go off, the street lights just suddenly went off Just as

I was walking through the park And it was pitch black, luckily there's a school with some lights So it wasn't, you know, I could kind of see where I was going But apparently we don't pay enough council tax anymore To cover the cost of having the lights on all night, like they used to be And I just, argh He's like, oh great, now I'm in the middle of the park on my own, no lights, great And he's just laughing, because he can see fine at night Most of his, I think he just uses smell mainly

more than anything We do it different ways, he can smell at night, his core smells So, yeah, I don't know what recording that was with the sea cadets in I don't remember what I spoke about, I just All I know is I wish Andre would show up I just don't And he's been doing this more recently for some reason, I don't know why Because quite often he's quiet for hours and hours and hours And then as soon as I start talking and making a recording He pops out and starts running around and causing chaos I

don't know why he's doing it, I don't know But when I get the garden shed, which should be here within the next week And I get that built and I get it all fitted out with the soundproofing that I've already got It'll be in a different room And I won't hear him scratching because I won't hear anything Because I'll have my own little studio, little soundproof recording studio And that'll be good, I'll be pleased with that But then I'm going to miss, I quite like looking at stuff when I'm making a recording I'm sitting on

my bed, unfortunately I've got him in the background going Making all these weird erotic noises But opposite me I've got my body sculpture sit-up board, abdominal board that I use To stack clothes and I could maybe use it for exercise one day And across me, just opposite me I've got two bookcases And I've got two pairs of shoes and a pair of trainers on top Because I can't leave anything like that on the floor because Andre just ruins them I won't even go into what he does but he ruins them And then I've got my

ukulele in a box on top The ukulele that I've not even attempted to learn to play yet I've not even tuned the strings and I've got an electric tuner that I got So I need to get that out and start learning to play it But I think it's because it's up there, I don't see it So I don't think about it And I've got my books on the bookcase I've got one, two, three, four Let me read the books I've got Stand up for this Excuse me, I just burped That's lovely isn't it, what sound

effects So as I was saying, this isn't going to be a business I've given up on that idea Because as soon as I try and think about making money out of this I don't want to do it anymore Isn't that weird?

So even though I was going to do five recordings a week for free And the rest I was going to charge a pound for I lost interest Didn't want to make any really after that So So I can't charge I can't, I just can't It has to stay completely free forever and ever Which means I had to get rid of Or cut down the expenses by a lot So by getting rid of the websites and stuff And So the only expenses I've got other than the internet is the The, I think £30 a month for

that £30 or so for the Spreaker podcast hosting And another tenner for the website So that's £70 a month So Yeah It's weird isn't it So that's what I've done I'm still waiting to hear from the college, from the university So I don't know what's going to happen there But Condre's just following me around Honestly I feel like I'm a Pied Piper But we've just Not very popular I've only just got one, well he's not a rat is he But there were mice weren't there Pied Piper Of Hamilton Whatever So let's have a look at

the books that I've got I know what he's thinking, he's thinking What can I do to make more noise What can I do to just annoy Daddy He's trying to figure it out, he's under the chair I can almost read his mind What if I pull stuff off the If I pull stuff off the chair that will make some noise He's just looking up at me like he wants What do you want What actually Condre do you want The hardest thing about him is No matter how annoying he gets He looks up at me and

he's just so damn cute He's got just the cutest little face And sometimes He'll stand there And he looks exactly the same as he did when he was a baby Just a bigger version And if you want to see that picture If you go to my Facebook page The normal Facebook page There's a picture of him On there, not the main picture Of me holding him or whatever Where he's all wrapped up in a towel But there's a little picture down there On the left hand side of him And he was tiny in there And

he looks like that sometimes Just looks at me with these innocent eyes And he's so cute And now he's probably gone to sleep Unless he heard me say how cute he is And he's happy He's like oh my dead he loves me really Even though he moans all the time I don't moan all the time So I'm just looking at my book collection These are the non-hypnosis books I've got in here I've got a few like self-help Again not all of them but a few self-help books Kind of self-help I've got What have I got

Also some comedy books And some Books on Buddhism I've got 1, 2, 3, 4 5, 6, 7, 8 8 Buddhist books And I've got 4 books by Charles Bukowski No 5 Tales of an Ordinary Madness Women Tales of a Dirty Old Man Factotum and Post Office That's kind of 5 of his most famous books Charles Bukowski I've also got The Alchemist by Paolo Corello Paolo I've got Richard Bach's Illusions Chicken Soup for the Soul I like Jack Canfield I really like If you ever get a chance To listen to Jack Canfield's audio book Where he's

He's I don't know what it's called Because I used to own it Years ago I mean I'm talking 2005 time I used to listen to it a lot And it's really inspirational It wasn't Pretty sure it wasn't chicken But it wasn't Chicken Soup for the Soul It was his own Things I don't know, like wisdom or His own kind of take on stuff It's very good And what have I got Sylvia Plath The Bell Jar A couple of books by Richard Dawkins I've not read either of those I've got Drop the Pink Elephant What on

earth is that 15 ways to say what you mean And mean what you say Can't even remember buying this one As GMTV anchor I interviewed hundreds of people Every year However However well they interviewed Every single person would find it easy To explain their case By following these simple Their case by following these simple Principles As Eamon Holmes I wonder who he is It says sharpen your conversation By first spotting Then dropping The pink elephant Getting rid of the jargon Learning to speak in pictures Recognising When you should apologise Or thank people Captivating an audience

That's illegal isn't it Cost me £1.

50 This book Must have got it from a charity shop I do wonder When he talks about the pink elephant Um Da da da da I was looking at this Is that a pink elephant Now I'm making my own noise Pink elephant Is often used in a In an LLP Where they talk about You know, what we focus on by trying to be positive in your communication, because even if you're negative, that gets people focusing on what you're saying.

For example, don't think you're a pink elephant, you just think you're a pink elephant. So I was wondering if that's where you got that from, but no-one's biting my feet again. Great.

Stop it! Ah, what I watched today, check it out if you, well, if you want to, it's Lauren Hardy. I don't know what it's called. I think it's not just called Lauren Hardy, but it might be.

It's basically the life story of them as their career ended, like the last part of their lives. It's Steve Coogan and, I forget his name, another American actor who's very famous. But they both dress up like the characters and it starts really at the end of their career in films, in movies, and they split up and Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, the Stan Laurel's contract was up with their, you know, the film company or whatever.

But Oliver Hardy still had time to go on his contract. So Stan Laurel decided he was going to, they should take control of their own destiny because they made 150 films together or something like that. And they should do, they should start earning some money because they didn't have much money.

And Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton or whatever were like millionaires. So Stan Laurel organized for a contract for them both and with a new company, a new Warner Brothers or something. But Oliver Hardy decided, you know, he didn't want to get in trouble ever and he stayed with the company that he was already with because he had a contract with them.

And then they fell out for years apparently until someone in England were invited into England to do some shows here and they thought they had a film, you know, they were going to do a film, a new film. So it's kind of them getting back together, doing some live stage shows in England and just how, it's very, it's emotional but it's about their relationship and how much they really loved each other, really knew each other. And it's a really good film.

I mean, if nothing else, they should, it should be up for Oscars for the, how well they performed regardless of the actual acting within the film, but the taking off of the characters because they do sketches and everything in it and it's great, it's really good. So yeah, I would suggest watching it if you get a chance. I watched it on, I think it was Amazon.

I think I watched it on Amazon Prime. Don't worry, I don't get any money if you watch it. I just get the satisfaction of your happiness.

It is a good film and it's one of those films, I'll be honest, yeah, I watched it all the way through from start to finish. I didn't have a break and sometimes I'll watch a film for like an hour and then I'm like, oh, I'm going to do something else now. But I just watched this all the way through.

It's really engaging, really engaging film. So I recommend it if you get a chance. I don't know, I don't know what to do with him.

It's almost like he's, he wants something, but I don't know what it is he wants. Oh, I don't know. I thought almost like maybe it would have been because he spent all the weekend, well Saturday night on Sunday with somebody else in the flat and then someone else was in the flat again, was here early on Saturday evening and then someone else was here again on Sunday and someone was here on Monday.

But today, yesterday, there's not really been much like activity. So maybe he's kind of got used to being around other people because if there's someone else there, he ignores me. He's all over them.

And he likes, he's more of a people's person than I am. It wouldn't take much to be more of a people's person, but he really likes being around people. Genuinely.

And he's not fussy. And the other day, I think I mentioned it, I was just walking across the park going to the garage. So I had him with me and there was a couple of ladies talking and one of their kids came up and said, can I hold him and take him for a walk? And I said, you have to ask your mum.

Mum said, all right. So I just stood with the parents and she just walked off to the other side of the park. Andre didn't look back once.

Didn't look back, didn't care. It's like, honestly, come on, mate. And one of the mothers, there was two women there, she said, she took him for a walk the other day as well, do you remember? Yeah, I do.

I forgot. And all kids look the same, don't they? So he, I don't know if it's he felt comfortable because he's met her before or he just doesn't care. He just, he's off.

No loyalty at all. Because if it was a dog, even if the dog like knows you really well and you're a visitor to the house, you know, gets to see you a lot. If it's your dog and the dog's at the other side of the park on the lead with someone else, the dog is very likely to look back at you to see what you're doing.

Not Andre. Just straight ahead, no interest. It's almost like he wanted to leave home.

Like, at last, freedom. Freedom from being able to run in and out of every single room of the flat. Whereas if you lived anywhere else, it'd be in a cage most of the time.

Probably wouldn't get a chance to go for a walk. If you did, it wouldn't be as often as I do. Possibly.

But it might be, might be more often. Who knows? So angry. So, isn't it weird how quickly things change? Because as soon as I got rid of all those other websites, bang, bang, bang, gone.

I did that this morning when I woke up. I suddenly felt motivated to make new recordings. I think it's, I need at least one website.

Not just for, as a, not a business card, but for people to come and see what I've got. What I've got. That's between me and the doctor.

To see what, you know, because all my recordings are on a website. Everything that I've done is on a website. Or you can contact me on the website.

You can, whatever. And I need that for me as well, so that I can continuously build it. Because that will have thousands and thousands of pages on it eventually.

It's already got, well it's got well over a thousand pages already. Because each post, I know it's over a thousand posts, over a thousand recordings. So each one has got its own page.

So yeah, so it's over, that's quite a lot, isn't it? Wow. And, well that is quite a lot. So I'm going to be, it just gives me something to, I like to tinker around on it.

And play around and change things a little bit. And, you know, I want to, I'm thinking of maybe doing a blog on there as well. But I'm not sure.

But at the moment, every time I make a new recording, I do add it to the website. So that's, I'm quite happy with the website as it is. It seems to be going alright.

I'm getting, I'm getting people visit. I'm getting the odd comment, well not comment, but people leaving messages. Add a few testimonials.

But yeah, it's been a strange week. But it has been an unusual week. And what we, halfway through, because it's Wednesday, well it's now Thursday.

And I was thinking about making another recording before the end of the night. As it's still quite early. But if Andre's going to be doing his thing, I can just about get away with him running around when I make these recordings.

Just about, but I still don't like it. But, I can't, not with the others. The other stuff I do, so.

Although it seems to be now, I've gone to sleep. Blessing. Drop the pink elephant.

Oh yeah, and I can't, I'm probably not going to write a book either. Well, I think I'm just going to give up on that idea. It's just the idea of going through my recordings and transcribing them.

And this is the equivalent, this lovely little whistle, the equivalent of writing a book. It's an audio book, isn't it? Each podcast episode or each recording I make is kind of like a chapter to a book. A very unusual book.

A very directionless book. Almost meaningless book, but still kind of like a book. Talking about earlier, being asked which recording had the, what is it, the sea cadet story on.

I was thinking about going through the recordings and sort of giving a rough, not biopsy, that top... What is it, biopic of the, or synopsis of the contents of the recording. But just the idea of listening back to anything that I do, just... It's just so boring, it really is. And it's supposed to be.

It's even more boring for me because I already know what I'm talking about, kind of. You know, for me to talk about my book collection and to tell you about the books that are on the shelf is even more boring for me than it is for you. Because I see them every day and I know what's on the shelf.

And the idea of talking about them possibly bores me too much to even talk about them. Which means I probably should talk about them. Because if it bores me that much, then it's very likely it's going to bore you too.

I also kind of, if I did do a search through of my Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings, I did think two things would be useful. First of all, or three things, I could give a description of what the contents are. Secondly, I'd then know what I've talked about.

So then I could think of some other things that I could talk about that I've not yet broached upon. Thirdly, I could possibly edit and take out the best bits. Or, in other words, put together a best of Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Which should last about five minutes. But I was just thinking, but then how do I know which bits are the best bits? Because each person has their own... I mean the best bits for some people will be the bits that are the most boring. Which send you really to sleep because of my boring voice and my boring stories.

Some people like hearing about Andre, and I get told that. Because Andre is definitely, he's the star of any recording I make if he's around. He makes himself be heard.

And any video that I've ever made that he's been on, he's the star of the video. So it'd be hard to know which bits were funny as well. So it's kind of, how do I know? I don't know how.

So what you could do, if any of you are really bored enough, you could do it yourself. You could download the recordings, edit it and put together a recording of the best bits. And then I can, if... Although to be fair, you could put together a very unusual audio, couldn't you? Imagine you've got thousands of hours of someone talking.

You could just cut and paste various different words together to make something really weird. And yeah, if you had the time and the energy to put together a collection of the best bits and send it to me, I could upload it to the podcast and onto the website. But I don't know, it's... It's in one person's best bits, maybe in another person's un-best bits.

That's not really a word, is it, un-best, but... I'm going to lay down. I'm quite treated to me laying down. What's that book on there? Just going to have a little look.

Think and... Think and Grow Rich. Why is that hiding? That's the special book. Napoleon Hill.

Think and Grow Rich. See, for me it's not about the grow rich part. It's not really about the think part either.

I'm going to lay down. Oof. For me it's more... It's about the mindset, the positive mindset, which excites me.

It excites interests. I don't know what the right word is, but... It's something that I actually need in my life. I need more positivity.

I also need to sit up, so I'm going to sit up. I don't feel very comfortable talking when I'm lying down. I suppose I don't really do it very often.

I like to sit up when I'm talking. It's a bit like trying to go to the toilet when you're lying down. I'm used to sitting up.

It's what you're used to, isn't it? Like trying to drive a car backwards while sitting on the roof. It's not, you know what I mean? It's what you're used to. I like quiet.

Predominantly when I'm making recordings, but... I haven't lived in many places that were quiet. If I had, I would have had a lot more recordings. And I'd be a lot better at what I do.

I'd have a lot more experience and a lot more... I would have built more skills, I guess. And if you listen to some of the older recordings, you can hear background sounds. Because it got to the point where... I just figured, well, if I wait for it to be quiet, then I'm never going to make a recording.

So it's better to make a recording with background sounds than to not make a recording at all. That's what I figured. And, you know, I had a few complaints about the birds in the background.

Not many, but... Some sleep sessions, someone said they didn't like the birds in the background. Because I was making them... In the summer, the birds start about three o'clock. And as I'm waiting... In the summer, people are up later as well.

So sometimes I'm waiting until two or three before I make a recording. And then the birds are like... Disco dancing in the trees. So now when I get that shed... My recording studio... There will be a window in it, so I'm not just going to be in a... No, no, there isn't a window in it.

No, there isn't. It's really more a tool shed than a garden shed. It's six foot by five foot.

So six foot by five foot. So I should fit in it. I hope so.

I imagine that, getting it up. And then not being able to fit it in. Not being able to fit in it, rather.

Because I suppose... I'm probably wider than I think I am. In a sense. Just... I don't want to be squashed.

I don't want to be sitting there and... Having my shoulders touch either side of the walls. I don't want that. I'd like to have a little bit of room.

And what I was thinking... What I was thinking... Is... If it is big enough... And it goes together well... What I might do... Is... I'll have a chair in there anyway. But maybe set it up so I can make videos. Get a lighting system in there.

So it's really bright lights. And then I can start making some proper videos again. Like I used to.

But this time I'll be quiet. I could have a green background. So I could, you know, make the background better.

I've got the software. The digital, you know, the video software to use. I know the basics.

I don't... I'm not... By no means an expert. But I know roughly kind of how to edit videos. But then I'll have a black background.

Because the soundproofing is black. It's quite nice. It's quite a nice pattern.

So with a decent light... I could probably get away with just a black background. But then it would be also quite nice to have... Like my website in the background. And maybe a name of some of the podcasts.

Some of the, you know, Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis. Sleep Hypnosis Weekly.

Whatever the other ones are. You know. It'd be... Plus any other things I do in the future.

Because I'm doing this now. But I'm bound to think of like something new to do. And be putting quite a bit of energy into that.

So there'll be another podcast that will come along. That I'll think... Ah! I'm gonna do that. As well.

Not instead of. But as well as the ones I'm doing. And... I don't know what.

So maybe if anyone's got any ideas... The only problem with starting a podcast from scratch. Which... Admittedly I did do the Let Me Boil You to Sleeps. It's the only one I started from scratch.

All the other podcasts I uploaded. They were just normal recordings that I'd made in the past. And I just put them into categories.

So I had a few hypnosis courses that I'd made years and years ago. So I put them onto a podcast. And... And then categorized things like chronic pain podcast.

Self development podcast. Sleep hypnosis podcast. There was a sleep hypnosis weekly podcast.

Which was already... I'd already made seven recordings for. The... Deep sleep whisper hypnosis ones. I'd already done seven for.

And I only started making new ones once they became quite popular. So this one here. The Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Literally... I started from scratch with these ones. In January or February last year. Can you believe it? In about... What is it? Where are we now? October.

In about three months time. I'll have been doing this podcast. For nearly two years.

Although... The previous podcast was deleted. So I've only had it on this particular podcast for... It's less than a year. I think it was the 21st of November.

2018. And it's now the 3rd of October. 2019.

And... I don't know how many I've got. I think it's... 70,000 downloads I think on this podcast. I think so.

About that. In the last 11 months. But before that... I probably had... A good 10 or 20,000 downloads.

Maybe 10. I don't know. I lose track.

So it'd be nice to... I just want to reach the 100,000 for each of the podcasts. That are the most popular out of what I do. So I think there's five.

Or is there two insomnia ones? There's the Sleep Hypnosis Weekly. Relaxation Hypnosis. For stress and panic attacks, anxiety.

This one, Let Me Bore You To Sleep. And the Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis. Six podcasts.

That are the most popular ones out of all of them. So... I think the... Relaxation for stress and anxiety one. Is about 39,000 downloads on that so far.

And... But that gets... That's technically one of the more popular ones out of all of them. Because I've only just... Been making new recordings since the summer for that. So I've got six podcasts and I want them all to have 100,000 each.

And I'd like... I know the Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis podcast has got 90,000 downloads now. Another one's got about 93,000. So... By the end of the year... They'll both have hit the 100,000.

And the other one's probably got about 89,000, 90,000. So that'll probably hit the 100,000. This... The way it's going I'll probably... Yeah, it won't reach... Might not reach the 100,000 by the end of the year but it'll be near there.

So I have at least three out of the six... Will have reached 100,000 downloads. And I'm not far off the half a million now. I think I'm 485,000 or something.

So... That'll be a milestone. When I reach the 500,000 downloads for the podcast. Which will be before the end of November.

Which means I'll have reached half a million in a year. For these podcasts. And I'll be pleased with that.

And then the next milestone would be the million, of course. And then... I don't know. I don't know what the rules are.

I've got a few different milestones that I like. That I'm kind of looking forward to. There's the individual podcasts.

So I want them all to be at least 100,000. Out of the six that are, you know, the most popular. And three of those are nearly there already.

So the other three... The Sleep Hypnosis Weekly is going to take a while because... I only make one a week. So it's clearly going to take a bit longer than the others. Where I do maybe a few a week.

So if I reach 100,000 for each of those... So that will be one milestone. I suppose the second milestone would be... I don't know. Half a million for each of the podcasts that are most popular.

So to reach the 500,000 for each of those. And then the next milestone would be a million for each of those podcasts. But overall... There's the individual daily podcast like amount.

So on a day... See, I didn't record anything for a few days. So I wasn't feeling particularly well. And I didn't record anything.

When I don't make any new recordings... The stats go down. So I end up... I think for a few days... Just under the 2,000... Downloads for the day. But then when I record a new recording, it goes up.

And... I've not looked at the stats for yesterday so far. Because it cuts off around about the half 2, 3 o'clock mark. But that was about... That was 2,500.

I made one recording yesterday. So if I was to make two or three a day... That two maybe would adhere to 3,000. So it is growing.

Because before when I used to just do one recording or didn't do anything... It dropped down to about 1,000. Maybe... 1,200 for the day. So now it really goes below 2,000.

Even when I don't do anything for a while. So I look forward to that reaching... The next target is 4,000. A day.

I'm looking forward to reaching like on a regular basis. And I've got over 10,000 some days. But that's rare.

I had 5,000 I think... About... Two weeks ago. And that was just a couple of... Yeah, last week or the week before. And that was just random.

5,500 downloads. Don't know why. Didn't do anything different.

It just... Just shot up for some reason. And I started thinking... Oh! I kind of got excited. I was thinking... Is it going to stay at 5,000? Can you imagine how amazing that would be? It started growing like that.

Oh! But... I'm looking forward to getting 4,000 a day. And... Of course then 5,000. So... It's almost like every... Every 1,000 it goes up to is a... It's a milestone.

But ultimately... 5,000 is... The first big milestone. And then 10,000 would be the next one. And then to get it to 20,000 a day.

And then just keep building it. To the point where there's... 100,000 a day. 100,000 downloads every day.

Between all the various podcasts. And then... I don't know. A million a day I suppose.

That would be quite good. That's just all down to... People discovering me I guess. Discovering these podcasts and... Benefiting from them.

Or being entertained by them or whatever. Reason people read... Listen to them. So... That interests me.

I know it's... It's not interesting to listen to probably but... In a way... I prefer to have a million people listening every day. Than... To have... A million pound in the bank. Although I'd really like to have a million pound in the bank.

But if I was reaching a million people a day. And helping... You know... The majority of those people. The rewards from that are much higher than money.

Outscale money by a long way. And also if I'm reaching a million people a day. Then... I... I have a capability of earning some good money anyway.

Just for having that kind of audience. Because... I could probably... Get paid to just mention a... A bed. You know what I mean? I could probably get a... Sponsorship deal or something.

To sponsor... A pillow. Sponsor a jar of jam or something like that. I did think I could sponsor Horlicks.

You know that stuff that people drink to go to sleep? I could sponsor Viagra. But I don't really need it. Well actually I... Kind of might now.

Because I've... No I don't. Not now. Yeah.

No, no. But... I've never... I've never... I don't know. I've never... Well I haven't... No.

Never done that. Never taken such things. Because it used to be on prescription only.

And... I would be... I'd probably be embarrassed to ask a doctor... For... A prescription for that. But then to go in and get the prescription... In the... You know, the pharmacy. And go and collect it.

I don't think I've probably enjoyed that experience. But even less now. Going into a shop and... And to tell them what I want.

Because it's going to be behind the counter. And you can buy it without a prescription now. But like, yeah can I have that please? And just point.

And of course they're not going to know what you're pointing at. So I suppose what I do is... I just walk in with like a big false hand. With a big long finger.

So I can actually touch the product that I want to buy. Maybe with a little hat. With some writing on it.

Please don't mention... The name of the item that I'm buying. And... Because basically I don't want to bring attention to myself. I just got a visual of me doing that.

Oh dear. Walking in with a big false hand. With a massive long finger.

Pointing and knocking over all the merchandise behind the counter. Saying I want that one, that one. And looking around.

Why are you all staring at me? I've never seen a... I've never seen an embarrassed middle aged man before. Anyway. I'm going to go.

And next time I make a recording. I'm going to probably talk about... Probably going to look at one of my books. Or I might... Tomorrow go and get a new book.

To read out of. Like in the second hand shop or something. We'll see.

We'll see. Yeah. I don't know.

But... Other than that. I don't know. If you have... Any books... That you want to send me.

That you think I could read out of. Some things with funny facts or boring stuff. Or... Maybe even some newspaper articles that are funny.

Just put a ring around the article or whatever. Just send a newspaper to me. And... Just go to my website.

I'll tell you where to send it. And if you put your name on it. I can read your name out in the recording.

And you can be famous. So I'm going to go. Thank you very much for listening.

Remember to be kind to yourself. Because you do deserve to be happy. Lots of love.

Bye.