#222 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (22nd September 2019)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let me bore you to sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

How weird, as soon as I start talking, Andre comes out of his bag and now he's laying down at my feet. I don't know what he's doing. What's he up to? What I thought I'd do today, firstly, is thank Kay for sending me an email, which was lovely, and it brightened up my day, actually.

So thank you very much for that. It's nice to hear, nice for me to hear that what I'm doing is useful. And the email I received today was regarding this podcast, the Let me bore you to sleep podcast, and how useful it is and how helpful.

So that really gave me a it was a lovely start to the day for me, actually. So if anybody out there listening would like to let me know what you think, and if it's beneficial or helpful, then just go to my website you can send an email, you can send me a letter by post, you can contact me on Facebook, and you can leave a testimonial on the website. It's lots of different ways.

So what I thought I'd do today is give you a tour of my home, which is kind of weird when you consider you can't see my home because it's an audio, isn't it? It's an audio recording. However, I might have done this before. But if I have done a tour of my home before, in a podcast, I might have done it on video even.

It will be different because things are in different places. So what I thought I'd do, have a quick little drink. By the way, if anyone thinks I'm drinking alcohol, I'm not.

I don't drink alcohol. I don't. I sound like I'm drinking alcohol.

I don't. I don't drink alcohol. I can't actually physically drink alcohol anymore.

So it's not a choice. I just, I don't like it. It's really weird.

I've tried a few times, but I just can't. I can drink one can of lager. In fact, I bought some lagers and I didn't even drink the first can, probably three quarters.

So I'm not gonna bother. So here we go. I'm going to give you a tour.

I'm turning the lights on. What I thought I would do is imagine I'm coming in through the front door. I've got my socks, I've got my socks on, but I took my shoes off for some reason.

I'll tell you why it was, yeah, because not my shoes, but my slippery stuff. Slippery slippers is because they're a bit cloggy, a bit like, you know, you can kind of hear it, but the thing is probably the loudest sound in here would be the fridge. The rest of the building or the rest of the flat is very quiet.

So I walk in to the front door. I walk into the front door, I bang my head and then I say, ouch, and then I open the door and walk through. To the left of me, as I walk in, so there's a light switch.

I just turned on, off and on again. And there's a light, which is probably about six foot, I'm five foot eight, nine, 10, 11, 12. About six foot three, I'd say six foot five.

No, probably higher, probably about six. I'm just thinking someone was that tall. That's really tall.

So I reckon about six foot eight, even possibly six foot nine high in the ground, in the air. Because the ceilings are quite high, actually. They're not high enough for, I mean, if I could think of an animal that was high, giraffe.

Yeah, giraffe or a chicken with a really long neck. But I can't touch the ceiling with my hand from the standing position. If I jumped, I possibly could.

But I don't want to. I don't look up at the ceiling very often. It's almost strange.

Tell you what was strange. It's a while back, but it was, what year was it? Probably about five years ago, maybe even more. And there was a volcano.

And you may be thinking, how did you get from looking at your ceiling to talking about a volcano? It's easy. It's easy. It involves looking up.

And there was a volcano in, I don't know if it was in Netherlands or somewhere. Well, it was obviously somewhere. And all the planes were grounded, like in England.

Or, yeah, I mean, this part of England anyway. All the planes were grounded because of the dust or the soot or whatever from the volcano, which is a long way away because I don't think we have any volcanoes here. There might be some in Scotland.

I don't know. Or Wales or Liverpool. I don't know.

But not any where I live. We've got a hill. I don't know.

For me, a hill is something that goes up. Let me finish. Let me finish before you say, yeah, well, I agree, a hill does go up.

No. But a hill goes up and then you get to the top and then it goes down again. I've got it.

There's a hill where I live. There's one, it's steep enough to not enjoy walking it. You know, it's kind of steep, but not not steep, steep, steep, steep, but fairly steep.

And then it leads to a flat surface. And if you keep going to the right hand side, there's no, I think the ground probably does go down a little bit, but it still sort of stays flat. But turn left and go all the way down and it goes down again.

But there's a north hill and there's an east hill. But a hill is supposed to go up and down. It's not really a hill unless there's a top and then there's a downwards bit.

That's what I think anyway. I'm not an expert on hills. I know I probably sound like I am.

I'm not. So there's this volcano in, it might have been Sweden. I honestly don't know.

It was somewhere and, but it was somewhere not, clearly not that far away from here. So it must have been Europe because if it was in Canada, I don't think it would have had any effect. Like, you know, the ash wouldn't have traveled all the way to London from Canada or from Toronto or something.

That'd be a long way. And I was at my dad's house and it was the summer. I was in the garden and there was a blue sky.

I remember it being blue because I looked up at it and I looked up and I thought, well, that's blue. And I think we had a barbecue. So it was a really nice day.

It's very quiet, very quiet. And I said to my dad, have you noticed anything different? He said, have you got a new girlfriend? No. Okay.

He said, have you got a job yet? I said, no. He said, have you got any savings in the bank? I said, no, no. Stop, stop that.

I said, he said, okay. Have you had a bath today? No. No, stop being rude.

I said, he said, what? I said, look up at the sky. He didn't seem like he wanted to look up for some reason. And I said, just look up.

And he said, yeah. I said, look at the sky. He said, yeah, it's blue.

I said, but look at it. He said, yeah, it's, it's always been there. I said, no, I know the sky's always been there, but have you noticed anything different? He said, no.

I said, look, the sky is clear. He said, yeah, it's summer. I said, no, not that.

There's no planes. There's no signs of planes. There's no sounds of planes.

There's not even any trails from the planes. You know, the little farts that the planes leave that are in the, in the air. And I always remember what he said to me.

Oh, wait a minute. What did he say? Oh, yeah. He said, oh, excuse me, I need to go to the toilet.

That was it. That's all it is. So I, I don't know why I was excited about it.

And I'm sure that I wouldn't have been excited if I'd had a plane booked. Well, no, I didn't book the plane for myself, but, you know, to travel on holiday. But I don't really, I haven't been on holiday.

I can't remember last time I went on holiday. Last time I went on holiday would be, let me think. It wasn't this year.

I haven't been away anywhere in 2019. In fact, I've only left the town twice this year. I went to London to see my friend who's moving away.

And that was probably February time, I suppose. And then, or maybe March, February, March. And then I went to my stepmum's birthday party a couple of months ago, or last month, or whenever it was.

I went there whenever it was, obviously, whenever it was. Wouldn't be when it wasn't. And that's the only two times I've left the town that I live in this year.

Last year, I don't think I left the town at all the whole of the year. So that's 2018. So I didn't leave this town.

Didn't get on a train. I don't think I went anywhere. 2017, I'm not sure.

But I definitely didn't go on holiday this year. Didn't go on holiday last year. Didn't go on holiday in 2017.

Didn't go on holiday in 2016. Didn't go on holiday in 2015. Didn't go on holiday in 2014.

Although I think I should have done. I could have done with one at that time. Didn't go on holiday in 2013.

Didn't go on holiday in 2012. Didn't go on holiday in 2011. Would it be easier just to name the holidays I've had, I suppose? I used to go on holiday with my family when I was a youngster.

I personally would have preferred to stay at home and let them all go away because that would have been a real holiday for me. But it's almost like, I don't know, it's like I want to go away to get away from the mould and then just scraping bits of mould off and putting it into a bag and taking it with you. I'm not comparing my family to a bag of mould, I'm just saying it's not really a break if you spend it with all the people that you're always with.

Maybe, possibly, I don't know. Not when you're a kid. Perhaps, possibly, I don't know.

How should I know? And we used to go to Wales. Wales is very, very beautiful. I'm not talking about the animal, I'm not talking about the fish, I'm talking about the... imagine getting a letter or email.

Dear Jason, whales are not fishes, they are mammals. They live in the sea, it's a fish. Sorry, that's it.

No, but they can't breathe underwater. Well, a lot longer than we can. Anything that can breathe underwater for half an hour or 50 minutes, that's a fish.

No, it's not a fish, it's not, no, no, no. Yep, it is. It's a fish.

What about an octopus? That lives in the water. Yeah, it's a fish. Doesn't even make sense.

How can that be an argument? I'm not having an argument. I'm just saying it's a fish. Anything you mentioned that lives in the sea, I'm going to call it a fish.

What about seaweed? It's a fish. Crocodiles? Well, a crocodile doesn't live in the sea, it doesn't live in the water. It uses the water to travel.

A water is like a road to a crocodile. It doesn't live in the water. Where does it live then? Well, usually, they might stay in the water, but like in the shallow end.

They don't like live in the deep end and unless they climb, you know, right at the bottom of the water and they're in a cave or something like that. Are you making this up? No, I'm not making, well, I'm not making it up. I just don't care for the answer to be correct.

I should be a teacher. So what other holidays have I had? So Wales was all right. We used to go tenting.

Now, I'm not. It put me off sleeping in a tent. The journey wasn't, I don't know, because I was the little one.

I mean, my little brother is the littlest, but he'd travel, I think, on his mum's lap. I'd be in the back, in the middle of my two bigger brothers, which is never a fun experience. I don't think if you like, you know, it's just like you just squashed for eight hours or nine hours, however long it took.

And then we get there and we, that's when the fun started, you know, the putting the tent up and it wasn't a little tent. It was like a big, huge tent that had to fit, how many of us were there? One, two, three, four, five, six. So there was six of us had to fit into this tent.

And by the time we'd actually put the tent up, we were four days into the holiday. It was honestly, it was like putting up some kind of extension. Guaranteed, no matter how lovely the weather was going there, when it came time to put the tent up and to take the tent down, it was raining and windy.

Just like guaranteed, it's like, in fact, what you can do, if you want to test this, right, go to Wales, go to a caravan site and, you know, go and stay in a hotel, please stay in a hotel. But you know, unless you like camping. But go to a, go to a caravan site and pull out a tent.

Now, you know, just, it can just be an old tent, doesn't even have to have all the proper pegs and stuff. But guaranteed, as soon as you start laying it out on the floor, the weather will change and it'll start raining, which makes me think, I wonder if that works in other places. We could cure crouts, droughts.

That's the word, isn't it? Droughts. Perhaps that's the cure for droughts. We could just start unpacking tents and it'll start raining.

And then it'd be lots of fish. I don't know. But Wales is all right.

Yeah, it's really, what I liked about Wales, a couple of things. First of all, it was a different, it was a different place. It wasn't where I lived.

And that's, that's the best part of a holiday is to not be at home, I suppose, to be somewhere different. And this place, I don't know how many times we went, possibly three times. And it wasn't always to the same place, I don't think.

But this had a nice, beautiful beach. The one that I remember, sand, proper sand. I mean, you might say, well, all sand is proper sand.

Yeah, I suppose, but like yellow sand, you know, no pebbles. Just, it was just nice. And the sea, the most I'll do is probably go up to my waist in the sea when I was at that age.

And I was only about three inches tall. So it didn't, didn't take a lot to get wet. But for some reason, the sea seemed to go out.

This is going to sound like a weird sentence. The sea in Wales, the sea seems to go out for ages. You might say, yeah, that's the channel.

That's, I don't mean it that way. What I mean is, you could walk out and still only be up to your knees in water for ages. Another thing is fish were jumping out of the water.

That might have been because my feet were smelly. I don't know. But they were jumping out of the water.

I've never seen that before. And that was like, wow, that's lovely. And the other thing about Wales that I liked is the mountains.

Like, I went up Snowdon at least twice. Went up on a train once. And then another time I walked up it.

I climbed, climbed it. But I prefer the train. I think I was born lazy.

Probably in touch with my lazy side. You know, if I had it my way, I would never have got potty trained. I actually thought at one point, if I just don't do this right, I'll never have to do it myself.

I was wrong, you do. Can't get away with it for too long. I'd much prefer to just do it and have someone else clean it up.

Laziness. I want someone to cook for me. In some ways, I'd rather than actually cut the food up, and put the food to my mouth and I can just eat it off the fork.

I don't need them to go like a plane. Because I'm an adult, not a child. But I am lazy.

And I like the idea of just having someone else doing stuff for me. And as long as they weren't in the way of the television. Yeah, that's why I quite like all this voice activated stuff.

That's got me even lazier lately. Because I watch YouTube on television now. And there's the voice activator.

So instead of searching and then type it in, I can just put in a, you know, sort of, the world is flat society or whatever it is I'm, you know, interested in watching. Where is Elvis living now? Beep, beep, and it comes up and her choice. Okay.

Jason Newland hypnosis. That's what I normally send that comes up. And it's just so easy.

laziness, real laziness. I found a way of transcribing my audios really easily. And that just tapped into my laziness, that happiness that that's connected to that laziness.

I got over 1000 recordings. And if I was to transcribe them, listening and typing as I go, it would take me probably the next 10 years. So all I need to do is I can get them transcribed, and then go through them and edit them.

Which again, will take a bit of while, but a lot less than transcribing by 1000. I've saved myself 1000s and 1000s of hours. So I'm pleased with that.

So what other holidays do I have? Andre, can't believe it. Does that and then he runs away. Might sound like me doing it on my own feet, but that was him.

And I, I never went away on holiday at school. I suppose my brothers went away. I think one went to France.

I'm sure that one of my brothers went skiing. I have a memory of that, but it might not be right. But they both definitely went away on a school holiday.

And I never did. So I never went away. So I didn't have that experience.

I'm quite in some ways quite grateful. I think I don't know if this is classed as a holiday. But when I was in the Sea Cadets, we went away for a week, I think it was.

And it was, I didn't call it a holiday, although it probably was for the parents. But we went away, stayed in some army barracks, or some unused army barracks or something like that. And did all these exercises.

But basically, it was like being in training, you know, it's like being in the Navy. They were trying to, all the early morning runs and all that stuff and marching and discipline and all that stuff. So yeah, I got into trouble a few times there.

I remember getting told that I used to be quite naughty, just verbally. So the amount of times, one of the punishments they used to have, was to get you to, or get me to hold a rifle. A heavy old thing, it was empty, it was, you know, but the ones that you use for marching and stuff in the Sea Cadets.

And I'd have to hold it above my head and just run around the building continuously. And I thought to myself one day, I'm paying £1.50 for this, I'm actually paying money, because I had to pay to go. I'm paying money so that I can have someone shouting at me.

And I kind of stopped going. Then I started doing karate twice a week. So I ended up paying money for people to punch me and shout at me.

So that's a weird one, and kick me. So I don't class that as a holiday, although I did go away. And that was with, I guess, quite a few of my school friends, as well as, the benefit, you know, for both being in the Sea Cadets and being in the, doing the karate, is I got to meet other kids from the other school.

So instead of just being very, because there's two high schools in my town. One was called Deben, one was called Orwell. And there was kind of an ongoing feud, kind of, I don't know, not feud, but Orwell was a much bigger school.

Deben was, in the old days, Deben used to be the posh one, not when I was there. But by going to the Sea Cadets, I got to meet people from both schools, and different years as well. So I got to meet people that were a lot older than me and at different schools.

And also when I was in the, doing the karate, the same, I got to meet people that were in higher, higher years, and also from the other school. So I think that was useful to, to not feel so polarised, kind of made friends that were at both schools, you know. And it was, it was quite cool.

Anyway, the, what other holidays? Some people might think, well, you're unemployed, you're on a permanent holiday. Doesn't, doesn't work like that. It's not the same.

I haven't been, so I'm trying to think, I went, probably the last holiday I had was 2004. That's the last time I went on holiday. And funny enough, it actually was with some family, to meet some family that were living on the Isle of Man.

And I went with my Nan. And I'm glad I went. It was good.

It's actually really good. And that would have been kind of summertime 2004. May, probably May, June time.

And we went to, it was actually, it was the windiest day of the year, for some reason. So the crossing between, and we ended up going from Liverpool to the Isle of Man. That was the crossing we took.

But I'm not sure if that was the original crossing we were going to do. But I think we were a half hour into the journey. And my auntie, who lived in the Isle of Man, phoned my dad and said, oi, bruv, you alright bruv? And he said, listen, stop calling me bruv.

We were in our 70s. And she said, oh, okay. And she said, what do you want? He said, the ferry has been cancelled until further notice because of the, the wind is so much, you know, the waves are like massive.

I don't know if she said it in that way. Because he didn't have on loudspeaker. He may say, well, how do I know that she said, what then bruv? I made it up.

I make everything up. And she said, yeah, brethren, we got just, you know, you can't be getting it is this. There's um, I'm trying to, I'm trying to talk in a certain way.

There's, there's, look, there's, there's waves. There's waves. There's bare wind out there.

Bare wind. And he said, and my dad said, what? What do you mean, bare wind? I've never seen, I've never seen clothed wind. And they both laughed.

And my nan said, what's going on? What's going on? What's going on? And started hitting, hitting me with a walking stick. You know, just standard, standard stuff. And then we got to what we did, because we weren't sure what was going to happen.

We ended up and my dad didn't turn back. He said, no, we have started the journey, I shall not return. We're only half an hour into the journey.

We've only got as far as the next town. No, we won't, we won't go back. No.

Which I'm glad, I'm glad he made that decision. He made that decision. No one else has a say.

But yeah, he decided he won't turn him back. So he's very determined. And we ended up going to Blackpool on the way.

See, I never realised that Blackpool was near, near Liverpool. And this next sentence isn't really right. I always wanted to go to Blackpool.

Not always, I mean, I wasn't born with that intention. I didn't, you know, my nursery teacher didn't come up to me and say, Jason, what are you doing? There's some writing in the poem about wanting to go to Blackpool. Like, I don't, you know, it wasn't my whole life's been aimed at going there.

But I did like the idea because of the entertainment history of Blackpool. You know, all of the famous comedians and entertainers from the last 100 or whatever years used to sort of go to Blackpool, even before television, I do believe. And I don't before, before television was invented, I mean, I mean, before television.

Well, yeah, that makes sense. I think. And so we went there.

And on the way to Blackpool, there was a real kind of, for me, there was a little bit of a disbelief about the wind. I'm thinking, well, has Southend got a different, not Southend, Liverpool, has it got a different wind to the rest of the country? You know, do they eat a lot of beans? And I giggled at my own thoughts then. And we got to Blackpool.

The wind was shaking the car. Honestly, the car was scared. It was one of the windiest days, I think I remember.

And I've been around a while. Even then I was 33. So I'd seen a few windy days.

I'd created a few, but I just like, wow. And my Nan was, she's got a stick so she couldn't really get around as well as she used to. And the wind, we turned a corner.

And honestly, the wind like bang, it just like just went straight, couldn't walk into it. Do you remember the line from George Michael, turn a different corner and we never would have met, from Careless Whisper. And now that we should have changed that line to turn that different corner, we'll never see each other again.

We'd have been blown away, without a balloon. I can't imagine if I'd have took my balloons with me. Because I did want to.

My plan was to take a bag of balloons and blow them up on the way, on the journey. And then have them on some string or a bit of rope. And I could carry them around with me on the ferry.

I'm glad I didn't, because I'd have got blown away, I reckon. In the end, I just made do with counting the Smarties in my box, in my box, in the little, that's what it is. Sorry, this is a secret.

It's a private joke between me and myself. You know what? Yesterday, I went to the supermarket and we got some food. And there was this, probably about a 45 minute wait till the next bus.

And I thought to myself, you know what? I'm going to have a burger at McDonald's. And I'm going to take it, I'm going to eat it in, I'll take it out and eat it at the bus stop. Because it was a nice day.

I haven't been in there for ages. I don't really go into McDonald's anymore. I never used to go in regularly, but I used to be maybe, when I was in London, I'd perhaps go in once a week or once every couple of weeks.

And so I went in, got one little burger. But what I really wanted was the milkshake. So I got a strawberry milkshake.

I was looking around as I was waiting for the said purchase to be produced and handed to me. I was looking around, I was thinking, where's the serviettes? And where's the, where's the straws? Because there always used to be like a couple of places dotted around that you could go and get stuff. Couldn't see anything.

And I was a bit, I didn't want to keep looking around because there was someone reading their paper. And I didn't, didn't want to think to him to think that I was trying to read his paper over his shoulder. So I don't know what paper it was, to be honest, I'm not sure.

That's not really that relevant, I guess. Anyway, they called my number out. Well, they didn't call it out, but it was number 17.

So I went over. It might be a different number. You're never going to know.

Why do I mention it? I don't know. So I walk over and I pull my belly in, try and stick me boobies out, pull my belly in, because I want it to be known for anyone it's about that this is a rarity for me to eat fast food. Someone that looks as slim as me clearly doesn't eat very often.

So I kind of had to hold my breath for a while. I was like, thanks for that. Thanks.

I'm trying to get to the door as quick as possible. I can breathe and let me belly out. And I sit down at the bus stop and I get the straw.

It's basically the same as normal. The burger's in a little bag and I undo the paper wrapping of the straw and take it out. And there's this weird thing in my hand.

So I've got this weird long thing in my hand at the bus stop and I'm looking down at it. I've got my hands around it. And it feels really weird.

Unlike any straw that I have ever known in my life. And that's because it isn't a straw. McDonald's no longer produce straws or allow the customers to have straws.

It's not plastic. It's made of cardboard. Made of cardboard.

Yes. So basically, I had this very... I was drinking my strawberry milkshake through a very thin toilet roll holder. You know, the cardboard toilet roll holder.

Not the metal holder that attaches to the wall. Because that would be all weird. And as I was drinking it, the end was getting soggy.

The end of my mouth. Not the end of my mouth, but the end of the straw where my mouth was. The bit that I was sucking was getting wet and it was getting soggy.

And it was uncomfortable. Now, I don't want to be a diva, but I didn't like it at all. And it reminded me of something I couldn't figure out what it was.

One thing's for sure, I'm never ever going into McDonald's again. That's 100%. Never doing that.

I'm never going to have a drink through cardboard. Liquid and cardboard do not mix. You know, there must be another way of doing it.

But unless I just... The thing is, I can honestly tell you, not once have I ever had a drink through a straw. You know, like the old plastic straws. And then travelled to the nearest beach and chucked the straw into the sea.

Never done it. Ever. I can honestly say I've never once chucked anything into the sea.

Never, ever chucked anything into the sea. So I do wonder if the dolphins are kind of coming on to land at night and going through the bins, the McDonald's bins. Anyway, I I can never, ever, ever drink through cardboard again.

But there was that physical feeling that just, it didn't feel right, but it felt familiar. And I couldn't figure out what it was. I mean, it wasn't bugging me in a sense of, that's it, drop everything.

I must find out what this is. You know, it wasn't that irrelevant to my life. However, just then, when I was talking about counting Smarties, and the Smartie tube, it reminds me.

Because the Smartie tubes are made of cardboard. And I used to like to suck the end of the, you know, I put my mouth over it and on, especially the big ones that you get at Christmas, you know, the big, giant, giant ones. And eventually the cardboard gets a bit soggy.

So that's what I was thinking of. So yeah, so bye bye McDonald's, I guess. The only thing I really like about the place is the milkshakes.

I suppose unless I take my own straw, maybe make one. You should be able to buy like a metal straw or something. Or if I take a spoon.

Or, ah, I suppose what I could do. Maybe, it's got to be a way of doing it. A way of, do you know those little mugs that toddlers have? Like a little cup, but that has a like a little beaker thing on, and they drink out of the the little nozzle.

So maybe if I take one of my own, buy one like that, buy the milkshake and just transfer it into that. Now I'll buy one, I'm just going to steal it out of a pram and then just drink it like that. But then people might think, might laugh at me, think it's funny.

Look at him, he's not using a cardboard straw. Yeah. The holiday before that was 2000 and what kind of 2003? I went away to visit my cousin who was in Somerset or something like that.

So that, it's like a, it's only like away for a couple of days. But the only, I went to Bulgaria in 2002. So that was like a real holiday.

And then before that, 1989, I traveled through France. And also in 1989, I went to Spain for the afternoon. So I went there, I was going to live there and try and get a job and stuff.

But I decided to come home after about two hours. So I got a return flight. And yeah, so that was a short holiday, an afternoon in Spain.

But the France was for about five days, walking across France through the Alps. Through the Alps. It was summer, so it wasn't snowy.

So it was wherever the, well, we ended up, we got trains and stuff as well. So we ended up in, going to Paris and yeah. So that was, that was nice, actually.

I liked that, some of it. And now that's it. So it's really between 89 and 2002.

I didn't have a holiday. And then between 2004 and now, I haven't had a holiday. So what's that? 2005, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19.

That's 15 years. So I'm due a little holiday somewhere. I don't know where though.

I had been away a couple of times about retreats and trainings, which were away. So, but that's not really a holiday, is it? If you're working or you're studying, as much as, not that I would just be sunbathing on a beach, because it's not really my thing. I don't have the, I just, yeah, not really a sun bather.

So what was really weird is when we were in Blackpool, my nan went into the toilet and the toilet door locked. She got stuck, couldn't get out. I've no idea what happened.

I hope she's all right. So I shall speak to you next time. And please remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy.

And also, I will continue my tour of my home and hopefully get further than a light bulb in the hallway next time. It's almost like I got distracted. That's what it is.

I did something I don't normally do. I looked at the ceiling. If you want to distract me and break my concentration or my flow, just say, look up there.

I look up and then it'll just, yeah, it's a great way. Brilliant. So thank you very much.

Take care of yourselves. Lots of love. Bye.