#162 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (8th June 2019)

Hello, welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes.

The whole point of these very, very boring recordings on this very, very boring podcast is as follows. It's to be boring. There you go, that's a good description.

Only listen when you can safely close your eyes, if I hadn't already said that. And the reason I might sometimes repeat that sentence isn't because I care, it's because I just forget I've said it, pretty much. Not that I don't care, obviously, but I just, it's not that I am saying it twice because it's to make it twice as important.

Although it is very important, but I think we all need to take responsibilities for our own actions, you know. If someone's silly enough to listen to a sleep recording when they are in the middle of a a brain operation, you know, actually doing surgery, then, you know, or an ambulance driver, or, you know, it just kind of makes sense to not listen to stuff like this when you need to be awake. Although I know not everybody listens to this or this podcast just to go to sleep.

Some people listen to it for company, for, I don't know, I'm kind of like a friend, a friend you never wanted, on this voice that you can listen to regularly. Maybe not daily, depends, but regularly, you know, a few times a week. One day I hope to be able to sort of say exactly when I'm going to make the next recording, but I do try and do them every day, just to let you know that is my intention.

But, you know, doesn't always work out that way because of a few things, but one of the reasons is because I have other podcasts also that I need to make recordings for, like the Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis podcast, which again I'll try and make very regular recordings for, again daily if I could. And then I've got the Sleep Hypnosis Weekly or Weekly Sleep Hypnosis, I forget what it's called, but it's, I think it's Sleep Hypnosis Weekly podcast, and I do a new recording every Friday, supposedly. I usually end up doing it on Saturday, but it's weekly and I've stuck to the weekly thing for the last, I don't know, five weeks, maybe six weeks, and even that's a little bit of a challenge sometimes.

I think it's not the weekly bit, it's the daily, it's getting it on a specific day that probably gets, so I'm not being told what to do, not even by me, you know, so if I tell myself I need to do something, I kind of rebel a little bit, like, no, I'm not gonna do it, no, you don't have to, you can't make me, you're not the boss of me, when actually I am, aren't I, obviously, we're all the boss of ourselves.

But I like to just, because of what I'm doing, because every recording I ever make has underpinned relaxation, whether it's chronic pain relief, whether it's the sleep sessions, whether it's relaxation sessions, whether it's the whisper sleep, whether it's these, let me bore you to sleep, is that sense of slowing down and relaxation, that's part of the process, I guess that is the foundations which all of this, excuse me, has been built, and I guess the other foundations would be my knowledge, experience, education, training, whatever you want to call it, of therapy, counselling, hypnosis, NLP, psychotherapy,

various things I've learnt along the way, because I've got a degree in counselling, and I've also obviously, well not obviously, but obvious to a lot of people listening to this, I'm also a hypnotist as well, or you could say hypnotherapist, because I've been thinking of this, I've been studying hypnosis since January 1998, and I also started studying counselling as well, possibly before that actually, not with any intention of getting involved in counselling, I didn't want to be a counsellor, I didn't want to be a therapist, but I did want to learn about myself, I think

really, that was the main thing, and I was just fascinated by it, fascinated by just the processes, and it seems the mind to me just seems quite magical, to me that is magic, and what the mind can do is just extraordinary, and for me it's less about the brain, but more about the mind, and I know that ultimately it is about the brain, because you know, a tiny change to the brain can transform how you think, but then you can do that through the mind, so I don't know, I just really find it fascinating, and

that's the underpinnings of what I do, because I've mixed hypnosis with actual therapy, with actual, you know, having spent three years at university studying therapy, and how to be a therapist, and added that to the hypnosis, and the other stuff that I've learned, the NLP and everything, so I think it makes me a little bit of a different type of I don't know, can I class myself as a therapist, if I make my money out of it, if I just do it online, just to help people without any financial gain, if I can then that's

what I am, I suppose, I am a therapist, but it's more an intention, so you know when I started doing the online recordings, and the first thing I did was a video on Myspace in 2006, and it was a black and white video, and I had this sponge, it was like a car sponge that you clean a car with, and on it I had, I taped a piece of paper or a piece of card with my website jasonnewland.com on it, that was the setup for my first video, and subsequent videos for a while, and I

had a webcam, but the picture wasn't very good in color, so I put it on to black and white, and it was a much clearer picture, and I had my desk, so I had the camera in front of my desk, I think it was, possibly the camera was attached to my laptop, so it was, you know, it was an external camera, because I've not found any laptop cameras to be, the inbuilt ones to be of any good,

any use, so I just distracted myself there, I've got the TV running, and the TV running, was it some kind of wind-up television, my TV is running, can't you hear the, all the noise of the, of the water, the engine pumping away, keeping the television going, oh it's lovely, and I had, yeah, so I had the video, camera, and it's a webcam, and I was at my desk, in my bedroom, in the Buddhist community that I was living in, and behind me I had a bookcase, well I had about two, or maybe three bookcases, full

of books, hypnosis, therapy, you name it, all kinds of books, and I had loads of counselor books, loads of books on Carl Rogers, I had books on Gestalt therapy, Fritz Perls, you know, amongst others, yeah, I had no intention of being a counselor, I didn't want to be a counselor, didn't interest me really, well it interested me, but it didn't, I didn't really give it any real thought, it wasn't until 2007 that I started thinking about it, around kind of the summer time, so I had this, my voice is weird lately, I've had a bit

of a cough, but that's all right, I'm not bothered, do I look bothered, do I look bothered, I'm not bothered, so I had books that I no longer have got, I've lost my library, but I'm gonna get it back, I've decided, I'm gonna buy one book a week, until I've got all my books back, that I had before, and more, I love books, love reading, I'm gonna start reading more, less time online, more time reading, that's my plan, because what comes out is, you know, you need stuff going in, in order for stuff to come

out, so if you stop eating, you stop pooing, you know, eventually, so it's kind of, I'm talking every day, I'm making, well not every day, but quite often, daily, I'm making recordings, I need to have information going in, and that's how I feel, you know, in order to improve what I do, maybe not with these, because these are just, it's just me being boring, I could read the telephone book, or tell you about the first time I had an ingrown toenail, you know, I mean, I could talk for an hour about that, but, so there's

no, there was no training, you know, you can't, I don't think there's any, any college courses for being extremely, tediously boring, it's, it's a kind of a gift, I was gonna say it's a gift that keeps on giving, but it's basically, it's probably a gift that keeps on taking, maybe, you know, in a different scenario, you wouldn't want to be listening to this, you know, if you was at work, probably you wouldn't want to be listening to someone talking really boringly, because it could be draining, perhaps, but in this scenario, because, and I'm guessing a

lot of you will be listening to this with your eyes closed, maybe lying down on a flat surface of some kind, or sitting in a chair, perhaps sitting back in a chair, or if the chair doesn't go back, then you can't sit back in it, can you?

It's, I've got a chair that goes back, it's, it leans back, it's, it's like a lazy boy, but a really cheap version, but it's been fine, I've had it for, I don't know how long I've had it for, over three, yeah, three and a half years, if not longer, and it's now wearing out, like the, the skin is starting to peel off, it looks like it's been out in the sun, and it's, you know, do you remember that?

Does anybody see, you know, when you get a sun tan, I mean, I only, I burn, I don't really get sun tans, I burn and then the skin peels off, you know, after maybe a week or whatever, I used to love that, hasn't happened for years, because I stay out in the sun, but that is quite nice, isn't it, that peely bit, when you just peel the skin off, like, oh, oh, I think it's quite nice, but as I said, it hasn't happened to me for a long time, I think the last time it happened,

I've got no idea why my voice just went so squeaky then, the last time it happened was, let me think, I think it was about, it was Easter, and I visited my dad, because it was also his birthday, and it was probably about 2009, 2010, 2009, you know, something, yeah, probably about that, and I went to my dad's, and I got up in the morning, I had my breakfast, and then the, you know, then dinner was going to be about one o'clock, lunch was about one o'clock, so I had two options, well, two options, either

I went out, or I stayed in and talked to everybody, because it was family who was there, you know, and so I thought I'll go out, so I went to the beach, and I had a book, and I don't remember what the book was, I wonder what the book was, I don't know, it was probably The Adventures of Noddy, or something like that, and I was just sitting there, and I found a nice little place, that I could just sit there, and it was such a lovely day, it was proper nice, really warm, what you

could say even hot, sun, but I didn't feel that hot, it was a bit breezy, because I was on the beach, and if you're on the beach, you can, if there's a breeze, and there's the spray from the water, because someone was having a wee by the side of me, so I was getting splashed back, but no, not really, because of the sea, there is like that continuous little droplets of water, spray-ish stuff, plus the breeze, a little bit of wind, turned it into breeze, and a little bit of wind here and there, and it

was Mr Sunny, Mr Sun Sun, in the sky, and I was just there, with the sun on my face, oh, it's nice, reading a book, just enjoying not having to talk, or listen to anyone else talk, that was nice, just, you know, it's just peaceful, wasn't that many people on the beach, there was a few, I didn't count them, but there was a few, but it wasn't, I wasn't that busy, so that people was setting up right next to me, you know, so I didn't have to listen to their conversations, I mean, in some ways,

I wouldn't mind, but never, never really worked out, I don't go on beaches very often, but every time I have, I've never had anyone set up a blanket next to me, who I would choose, I don't know how to explain that, but it's just, you know, it's, yeah, so I remember once, twice, I actually tried to sunbathe twice, I've never done it before, not really, because I burn, but I took suntan lotion, and again, I didn't like suntan lotion when I was a teenager, because, well, with getting spots and stuff on my face, I didn't

really want to be adding more grease, greasy stuff to my skin, but I remember I went, when I was 16, I lived in the flat above the chip shop that I worked, and I had a flat roof directly outside my bedroom, and the bathroom actually, yeah, the bedroom and the bathroom, there's also an extractor fan from the chip shop, which would come on, so if I had a day off in the week, it'd just be, just be like a helicopter inside my head, it was so loud, but on my day off, on the day where

it was closed, on a Sunday, it was so peaceful, and in this, in a real hot summer, you had a few nice days, always get a few nice days, and I went out, and the flat, the flat roof then led to a big flat roof that had nothing on it, and the extractor fan was on my part of the roof, yay, and then the rest of the roof was flat, so I climbed onto that, I wasn't really climbing, I just walked through, although I would have climbed, because I was very much like a little monkey

back then, and I could climb up things, you know, so I was, I was young, I was strong and wary, and I was, and I had a tail, I had a little tail, and I decided to sunbathe, I thought, you know what, that's what, and I hung up, no I didn't, I said, you know what, I'm gonna sunbathe, I probably watched, probably watched Wurzel Gummidge on television first, and maybe some political show, because I've always, I've always, I don't know why, really, I seem to have always sort of had an interest in politics, like following

the politics, you know, politicians' interviews, and watching the parliament, you know, watching the debates they have, more so now than then, but still always, because, you know, every erection there has been, I've had, I think since 1987, I think was the first one that I, was it the first, 87, I think it was, I think that was the first one that I sat up all night to watch, before that I was a kid, the erection before that I was, you know, little, well not little, but I was at school, so I couldn't stay up all

night to watch stuff like that, but the the general erection that was on, I think 1987, that was my very first one to watch, and it's on all night, it's on all night, and they give the results, you know, as they come in, it's the same process that still happens today, not today, but you know, when they're, when it happens, the last one was, I think two years ago, but anyway, I wasn't even old enough to vote, but I was still interested, and you know what I did, I walked up to the, I think it

was it, was it a pizza place that sold kebabs, or was it a kebab place that sold pizzas, I'm not sure, I'm sure it was a pizza place that also had kebabs, anyway I went in there, and my friend, well someone, I knew, I knew the person that owned it, I used to chat to him, and so I went in there, and I got a pizza, and I got the biggest, largest, massivest pizza you could buy, it was huge, sweet corn and pineapple pizza, always been my favorite, always will, unless there's a way of, the

thing is I haven't had every single pizza, you know, style, I suppose, so there will be probably some kinds of pizzas that I've not tested, so that I might one day be introduced to a pizza that equals the love that I have for the sweet corn and pineapple pizza, it's possible, I would say anything's possible, but you know what, I have in the past, I have spent hours staring at a pen lying on a table, just a normal pen, a writing pen, and I've stared at it, wishing it to lift off the table and spin

around in the air, but it didn't happen, so not everything is possible, but it's okay, because what use would that have been anyway, oh I'm going to just spin a pen around, okay, and what are you going to do with that, with that power of spinning a pen around, I don't know, exactly, how long did it take for you to do that, a couple of hours, or just two hours, so you just started two hours ago and it worked, well two hours this time, and maybe another 20 times in the past that I've tried, I'd

like to think, you know, because I did try and do that, I'd like to think that if I was able to use telekinesis to pick up an object with my mind, control it with my mind, such as a writing pen, and it lifted up off of the table and started to spin around or move around slowly, then I could do more exciting things, and that could change the world, so maybe stop it from spinning, spin it the other way, or stop it spinning and turn the pen around, so that it's standing straight up, and then

just move it down, so it balances on the table, yeah, but then would that be life-changing, you know, I watched the X-Men films, and Magneto's a character, and he can control metal, you see, I like that idea, to be able to control metal, you know, to be able to, to be fair, not just metal, I'd like to be able to, and not control, but be able to manipulate matter, I don't want much out of life, do I, I want to be able to, I just want to just be in charge of the world and the

universe, and control every single atom in the universe, that's all I want, I don't want much, so I just, I have no idea how I got to this conversation from sunbathing, I don't know how that happened, how did that happen, so I'm sunbathing on the rooftop, on a towel, and it's beautiful, it's actually something absolutely beautiful about, it's a long time since I've done it, but it's something beautiful about sunbathing, about laying down, and being practically naked, other than, you know, so you gotta, you gotta keep your modesty, so I wore socks, I wore probably

shorts, wore shorts, and that was it, and I used to be embarrassed about my body, Andre has just arrived into the room, how wonderful, last night I did something different for him, well I say last night, but you know, when I went to bed at about five this morning, normally I put him in his cage, which is in the storeroom, it's not, it's not a big stacked storeroom full of stuff, it's pretty much an empty room, but it's cool in there, it's dark, he kind of quite likes that, but he doesn't really like being in

the cage, he likes it when he's asleep, he's okay with that, but you know, there's times when he wakes up, when he wants to run around, play, you know, and do his thing really, have a bit of space, so what I thought is, instead of putting him in his cage, I'm just going to leave him in the living room, I'm going to close the door, close my bedroom door, so hopefully I can't hear him, if he does scratch at the door or whatever, but he'll have the whole room to destroy at his own pleasure, and

he's got water, he's got food, he's got various different places that he can sleep, he's got his bag that he sleeps in, he's got an old jacket of mine that he sleeps in now, behind the door, he's got another like, it's like a cat scratcher, but with a big partition that he could sleep in at the bottom, he sometimes sleeps on that, or in there, sometimes he sleeps underneath the chair, so he's got lots of different places, he's also got all his, most of his toys are in here, some of them in the bedroom, and

the kitchen, and then the hallway, he moves stuff around, but a lot of his stuff is in here, including his girlfriend, which is an old slipper of mine, which means he can have a date, you know, spend some quality time with his girlfriend, so he's got everything he needs in this room, and I guarantee you, most ferrets that are, apart from those, you know, living in the wild, of course, but most ferrets would not have a lot of space for long periods of time, you know, they'll be in a cage most of the time, and

then they'll be allowed to come out and play for maybe a period of time every day, and if they've got kids, you know, if kids are in the house, the ferrets will probably get out a bit more often, because they're a lot of fun, you know, to play with, but to have a whole flat, or apartment, whatever you want to call it, at his disposal, is something that I imagine not many ferrets have, he's got the hallway, he's got the bedroom, the kitchen, the bathroom, and this room, the living room, he's got all those rooms

that he can run around in, and cause havoc, the weird thing about it is, I kind of miss taking him to bed, and putting him into his cage, and giving him a kiss, and say good night, because I don't want to disturb him, like last, when I went to bed, he was asleep, I didn't want to disturb him, because as soon as he sees that door close, he'll be scratching, if I close the door when he's awake, he'll be scratching at the door for hours, possibly, so, but then I came in, and usually when I

get up, I'll go and get him, I'll, you know, if he's awake, cool, if he's asleep, I'll still pick him up and bring him out, if he's fast asleep, I'll put him into my bed, and just put the cover over, so he can just be asleep as long as he wants, without being disturbed, but then I've got some contact with him, you know, even if it's only for a short time, but when I got up today, I just came into the living room, struggled to open the door, because he'd been ripping the carpet up, yay,

and he was fast asleep, and he stayed fast asleep for about two hours, after I got up, and then he came over, I think I was recording this, and he just came in, when he'd come in, he walked, walked over, had some food, had some water, and didn't even say hello to me, now I feel like we're living separate lives, so I don't like that, because he's so, he just does his own thing, he kind of doesn't really need me, as long as I give him food, and I take him out for a walk when

he wants me to, and I'm there to play with him when he wants, he kind of doesn't need me, you know, it's, I like it when he jumps all over me, and even though it's a hassle sometimes, because I'm trying to do something else, it's still, you know, I might be eating a breakfast or something, it's still nice, just to have his attention, I think, anyway, so I'm sunbathing, and basically I burnt, you know, it's just the sun, I got sunburned, which is what happens, but before that happened, I felt wonderful, absolutely felt wonderful, lying

there in the sun, felt this beautiful feeling, and also, I think, because of the job I had, I was working fairly long hours, I think, so it was nice, and it was very busy as well, so it was nice to relax, and so I do love the sun, I love sunbathing, it's one of those things that I love, but I'm allergic to it, if you know what I mean, I kind of, my skin doesn't fit with the sun, and it never has, and when I was on the beach on my dad's birthday, I got a

sunstroke, it's like, I was only on there for about an hour, so I love the sun, I don't like looking at it, because it's very bright, but I love the sun, but there's something really beautiful about just laying there, and when I was 17, I went on a beach, where I was living, I went on the beach, and I just thought, you know what, I was skinny, you know, I'm embarrassed about my body, which I was at the time, and, but I thought, you know what, everyone's lying on their, on their, not their flannels, their

towels, it was a very small person lying on a flannel, but it was basically, they're lying there with their eyes closed, they weren't looking at me, so I just had my swimming trunks on, probably, or my shorts, and just lied there on the beach, and it was beautiful, the sound of the sea, and the sun, just, yeah, it's lovely, but, you know, again, the results of that, it was, I can't do that, it's a shame, really, because it's something that I really like, I've got a friend, he said, he absolutely loves Indian food, like, you

know, the spices and stuff, you can't eat it though, because it makes him ill, he doesn't like it, but he loves it, you know, and I'm the same with the sun, I love the sun, but can he go out in it?

When I do go out on it, I, it's short bursts, you know, the only parts of me that manage to weather the sun is my arms, and a little, my face a little bit now as well, because that gets seen by the sun, but my upper body, my legs, you know, my back, my chest, basically, all the area around my nipples, you know, the whole chest, ribs, that kind of area, it burns, and a burnt nipple is not something to write a poem about, that's going to be the title of my book, a sunburnt nipple

is not something to write a poem about, that's a great title for a book, come on, even if what I said is annoying you, you could still say, you know what, that is quite a good title, you can't argue that one, we can argue it, but I still think it's a good title, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't remember ever sunbathing, I sat in the sun, but with fully, maybe t-shirt, yeah, when I was, yeah, about 2006, I was in the garden, this is at the Buddhist community that I was living in, I lived

there for two and a half years, so I was in the garden on a reclined sunbed, or like garden chair, it wasn't really a sunbed, it was a sun, it's like a garden chair that reclines, and normally what I do is I get in the shade and I could read a book and stuff, and you know, it's lovely, and that's what I bought it for, well, on this occasion, I decided to listen to an audio tape on, I guess it was CD or something, and it was Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, that was

the audio tape, and I'd read the book, and you know, probably a couple of times actually, it's a little bit scared to start with, but it's okay, I got through it, I wasn't so scared to read it the second time though, I just felt the fear and read it anyway, and so I just, I thought, you know what I'll do, I'm just going to listen to this audio while I'm just relaxing, now that's a plan, which is what I did, what I didn't realise is I had the audio on repeat, I had the setting of

the CD player on repeat, and I thought I've got about 40 minutes, 50 minutes, and then I'll go back inside, and I was kind of partly in the shade at that time, but then with the sun moving, of course the sun doesn't move, we move, but you know, with the sun moving around, it became, I became more sanitised, sun rayed, and with the thing being on repeat, I didn't realise, because I was, you know, and I woke up about four hours, I fell asleep, woke up four hours later, and yeah, very, very red, it might

have been three hours later, it might have been two hours later, but four hours, there's no point exaggerating unless you do it properly as a, you know, if it was an hour, and I decided I'm going to exaggerate, there's no point saying it was an hour and 10 minutes, that's not a good exaggeration, I think exaggeration should be worth the effort, you know, but not too much, you know, because I wouldn't say, well, actually it was, it was five days, oh, you know, and I'm still out there now, still out there now as I'm talking

to you here, I've turned to dust, you know, it's, no, you know, I try not to exaggerate because, well, it's lying, isn't it, really, it's basically, we can pretend it's not, but that's all exaggeration is, but I think exaggeration is more than that, it can be an excitement, getting carried away with the story, because I, you know, I lie all the time with what I say on there, but it's not lies, it's just making stuff up, it's just, it's exaggeration, or it's embellishment, you know, whatever you want to call it, but I think some people

that exaggerate, they're not intentionally lying, they're just excited with what they're telling, and they want you to enjoy the story, perhaps, so they add a few extra bits in, otherwise you might not enjoy it as much, you know, but who am I to guess what other people's reasoning for certain activities that they indulge in, maybe, because I don't know, I really don't know at all, what I do know is I need to go to the toilet, it's seven point, yippity-doo and a poo, so 57 minutes in, I'm planning on making, I need to make my

sleep hypnosis weekly recording, which should have been done yesterday, which is why I didn't do it, because I don't like to be, I don't like the pressure, you know what I mean, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it later on, and then I'm gonna do a deep sleep whisper one later on as well, and I've got rid of, I had to get rid of most of my websites, so I've only got the jasonnewland.com website now, because I had to cut down the expense of running these things, so that's what I've done, I've cut down, so

the only expense I have now, all to go to run this free service is the internet and the podcast, Spreaker podcast, which is a fair amount of money actually, considering, but it's worth it, because it's a great, a great podcast host, Spreaker is, so yeah, so that's it, trying to reduce the costs, because, because it's a free service, I just don't have the money to pay for it, and even though I've had

a few donations and a bit of help, it still doesn't cover it, or what it didn't, doesn't cover what I was paying, so now that I've reduced it down, it should be useful, and because I just keep ending up with no money, I don't know why, I don't know why, because I'm not working, but it just gets a little bit, the novelty value is reduced somewhat, of having very small amounts of money, not quite as exciting as it once was, so yeah, I'm going to try to just reduce outcomes, it should be cool, but I'm

going to continue with the podcasts forever and ever and ever, so there, so today's a Saturday, so I wish you a really groovy weekend, and I'll see you next time, bye.