#152 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (20th May 2019)

Hello and welcome to LetMeBoreYouToSleep.com My name is Jason Newland I'm laughing because as soon as I started talking I must have woken Andre up because he's run out of his bag and he's just done a big poo and right on the edge of the paper there's 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 there's about 20 pieces of newspaper on the floor spread about 3 wide, 1, 2, 3 lengths as well and he doesn't draw any edge like, you know, near my table he won't walk onto the paper and do it but if I only put it at the

edge of the you know, near the skirting board he'll still do it on the carpet he's just you know, I'll go online and occasionally I'll look up ferrets and, you know, sort of what people have to say about them and some people put down there you know, these are the experts that ferrets are trainable they're potty trainable toilet trainable and this little poo bag that I've got is the most untrainable item in my life ever it just does whatever the hell he wants whenever he wants and if anything he's trained me he does things that

he's not supposed to do like the ferrets traditionally aren't supposed to do you know, and I just I need to write a book how to how to deal with problem ferrets because I could be the ferret whisperer mind you, I don't know how to deal with him all I've got to do it's not a case of dealing with him it's a case of acceptance and patience and that's what it is, I think, with him he's I think my patience has increased because I've got this living being that I live with and there's no point shouting

at him there's no point smacking him not that I want to do that anyway but and it's kind of, you know what, it's the same as a baby the same as a child same as a human being there's no point shouting at them that stuff doesn't work it's this kind of that's why I find it funny when I see people with dogs and they get so angry because the dog is basically acting like a dog they're a dog and I think I think people get, some people get a little bit a little bit of a

fantasy that dogs are supposed to because I see stuff on telly where there's these dogs that are just so well trained you can get them to do tricks and stuff like that but the average dog ain't going to do that and I bet you a lot of dogs dog trainers and people that have dogs that do tricks I bet you they get through dogs they have dogs that don't, just refuse to do it sometimes and apparently you can get ferrets to do tricks the only command I can get him to do and I do it

in public sometimes I'll say to him, you do this, do this and he ignores me and that's what I said that's why I say it's my command to him Andre, ignore me and he complies every time ignoring me is his favourite thing I don't want to spend the whole time moaning about him I'm not moaning he's he's not talking to me at the moment because I gave him a bath well I didn't give him, I gave him a it's like a bath but I did it in a sink because it's just easier and, but it

meant I had to hold him the whole time I didn't put him in the water but he just absolutely hated every second of it and after it, after I let him down because he was, you know, I dried him off as best I could and he got down and he was dragging his body across the floor literally, like just by, with his front, with his feet he was dragging himself across the floor I think a mixture of drying himself off but at the same time trying to get himself dirty again honestly I think if there'd

have been a big pile of horse manure in the corner, he'd have jumped head first into it and rolled around in it laughing at me sticking his middle finger up at me it's, this is what he's like but in the end he's I went sort of just to sort of calm him down a bit because, you know, he was a bit frantic and he was running away he was running away from me like I was going to hurt him he wouldn't go anywhere near me I went to pick him up and he doesn't normally do

that ever and he was running, hiding from me and in the end I managed to pick him up his heart was going, he was shaking it was like I don't know how much of that was because he was a bit cold because his wet fur and that but I gave him a massive cuddle and, you know, he still was shaking and shaking and I gave him something to eat and he seemed a bit better after that and I took him out for a walk and he was happy again because he was able to rub in

as much rubbish and crap and dirt as he could manage so he's probably stinky and dirty again bless him but he really, really wasn't happy with me proper, you know it's like I'd just done the worst possible thing and that is for him having a bath is the worst thing in the world for him he's always hated it, always this whole time I've had him absolutely hates baths yeah, if you go on YouTube and just put in ferrets having a bath and they just sit in there or like stand in there maybe shaking a little

bit but they look like little rats because all the fur goes all the way down and they're so skinny when you take the fur off if you was to shave a ferret it would look it wouldn't look like a ferret anymore mind you, if you shave anything it doesn't look the same, does it?

if you shaved a horse well, a hairy horse that is or a bear yeah, a bear, that's a good example if you got a bear and obviously you'd have to gain its trust and if you shaved a bear like proper you know, proper all the way over, every part of it it would look it would look a bit like a chicken like a really big chicken I'm guessing but that's kind of I would never shave him although I've wondered what he'd look like if he was shaved but you know, I'd never do that but I

kind of want to now I want to shave him it's all I want it's all I can think about but he seems happy now he's in his his comfort blanket is that bag he loves it in that bag that's his favourite place to go he doesn't realise that I bought that bag for him it's my bag, not his but another thing he doesn't like is when I wash the bag because the bag gets proper smelly sometimes you know, all the time it just smells of him but then there are occasions like maybe especially in the

summer and that it gets a little bit pongy so I wash it probably twice a year and he gets so angry he really gets angry with me proper, like that noise he makes when he's angry it's funny eventually he's okay but it's because it doesn't have his smell anymore and he wants it to have his smell that's what he likes about it so what I do is I take him out with the bag for a long walk and what he does and he doesn't normally do this as much but when the bag's clean he'll keep

getting in and out of the bag so he's rubbing himself against a wall or in the mud or in a field or trees and plants and flowers, whatever the grass and he keeps going in and out of his bag so we can put that smell into the bag and that's what he likes it's all about smell with him he loves the smell he loves yeah, his sense main sense is the smell so that's anyway, I should say what do I normally say oh yeah, this is let me bore you to sleep and please only listen

when you can safely close your eyes of course, you may have already fallen asleep because we are 12 minutes in but hopefully not well, hopefully yes, it doesn't matter it's the thing is we're sleeping and I seem to have gone down the road of being some kind of a not sleep expert although I am pretty good at sleeping it's one of my best things I'm able to do farting and sleeping are the two things that I'm really good at but yeah, I do do other things as well I do have other podcasts it's just the

sleep ones are the most popular out of everything I do I've got about 32 podcasts different ones for different things and this let me bore you to sleep the Deep Sleep Whisper hypnosis which I try and do like one a day roughly each and that's deepsleepwhisper.com if you want to go to the website and see all the back catalogue I think there's 94 now on there and the sleephypnosisweekly.com that's another one and there's 12 I think 11 or 12 and there every Friday there's a new recording and they're long they're about an hour each the

deepsleepwhisper ones are about 20 minutes sometimes longer sometimes they're 40 minutes sometimes they're 32 minutes you know, it depends sometimes they're 11 minutes so they usually average about 20 20 minutes and I've also got two other podcasts so that's three, four two insomnia podcasts so that's five all together but they're my five most popular podcasts out of the 32 I've also got a seven days cure insomnia course

what other sleep ones have I got I've got sleepwithjason little kind of little course what's the other one I've got sleep I forget what it's called but it's sleeping with the sounds of sheep counting sheep to sleep that's it it's like counting sheep to sleep deeply or something like that and they vary in length between half an hour and two hours so there's about six of them I think there's the sleep hypnosis with music as well and there's six of those in that podcast and yes, there's a few but the five main ones are the

ones I mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph and they're all kind of in the running for being top of the charts as it were but at the moment the deep sleep whisper one and the insomnia podcast I think it's sleep I think it might just be called sleep sleep deeply with hypnosis I think that's the podcast and on that I have everything all the sleep stuff including the sleeping, the deep sleep whispers and the let me boy to sleep and all previous sleep sessions that I've made over the years so that's like a variety

but that, you know, so they're all kind of growing I think they're all yeah, I think most of them are over the 30,000 mark of downloads in each podcast so they're growing some of them are getting like two, three hundred downloads a day for, you know, each of them sometimes five or six hundred downloads depending for what, I don't know I can never really figure out why really where people are coming from I do have the stats to look that up but there's no like rhyme or reason as they say or as someone might have

once said that I can't always figure it out but since the weekends are possibly the quietest times and I think, you know, like holidays Easter, well maybe Easter but Christmas definitely Christmas, New Year's Eve they're usually fairly quiet New Year's Day and then January, you know, everything sort of spikes up and but I was looking at the stats and it was very last night I was looking at them and just kind of trying to figure out looking at each individual podcast the ones that are really popular or the most popular out of the ones I've

got and they've all grown considerably over the last three months since March sort of like March, April, May they've really gone up the first part of the year they were a lot lower and you can see the the growth and you get the occasional day where I'll get a big spike maybe sometime got a thousand downloads just in one podcast and for no it's no kind of can't figure out why that is sometimes so like four days ago I think it is, five days ago I had nearly three and a half thousand downloads for among

the podcasts where an average day is just over two thousand so it's kind of, it's growing but when I get like a big spike like that and I think is it going to start going up to three thousand which it will but it might not be for a couple of months until it's at the three thousand like daily and then it'll be four thousand, five thousand I need to get it to a hundred thousand that's when I can yeah that's when I'll be I'm not always happy but I'm happy at whatever it is really to

be fair the one thing that does give me some pleasure is when I get some feedback like oh did you hear that, that's my television clicking it's been off for about half an hour I thought it would you know it wouldn't do any clicking now but it's weird I can't complain, it was a hundred and fifty pounds for that telly it's about thirty six inches so it's an okay size I got it on Amazon for a hundred and fifty pound probably four years ago or yeah roughly so it's not so bad really is it it

kind of makes a few little clicks pings and pongs occasionally but it's it's doing it's job I like that little telly it's not little the room isn't really big oh it is it is big enough to have a bigger telly but I don't really if I did have a telly big I suppose maybe fifty inches sixty, seventy maybe I think it's a bit too big but if I did have a telly I'd want it to be see I don't know if I'd want the telly to be up on the wall because at the moment it's

eye level when I'm sitting in a chair and that's how I've always had my televisions always had them so I kind of look straight at them never looking up or down but just straight you know I don't know if I'd like the idea of having a big telly that I was looking up at you know from the ceiling just it would be weird would I get used to it I don't know it's like some people say you know you get used to anything which is can be true to a degree you know I got used

to eating or drinking tea with UHT is that UHT milk?

you know like the not like the long life milk not fresh milk and at first I was didn't like it and I made that sound when I was twenty six so it was probably a weird thing to do but eventually I got used to it and it got to the point where I preferred it that way but I've worn leather trousers and I never got used to that very sticky very hard to get off not that easy to get on but much more harder to get off I mean when I wore the leather trousers I'd

go out and I'd hope that I'd pull and you know find a lovely person to come home with me not to have sex just to help me get my trousers off because I knew I wasn't going to be able to do it on my own it was just like that was so I mean that was when I was like really thin and fit and you know stretchy and all that now I don't know what I would do I'd probably just have to cut them off I'd get to wear them once so leather trousers another thing

really tight underwear I don't know what the right word is for it but since I've been how old probably since I was 16 and I had a chance to choose what underwear I wore because you know when I was a kid I didn't it wasn't a conversation it was just it was Christmas presents or birthday presents here you are there you are that's what you're wearing they were like thank you I was like yeah brilliant so when I got older when I was 16 and I got to choose what I wore I experimented and bras

are really itchy and that bit at the back and they just like they're so restricting especially on your shoulders I found that the strap would just dig into into my shoulders and stuff didn't like that I haven't worn a bra of course everyone's worn a bra every man I reckon at some point has been sitting there and looked over at the the radiator there's a bra drying and there's no one about and I thought hmm I know what I'm going to do I'm going to try that on not in a kind of a I wasn't

getting any kind of thrills out of it of course there's nothing wrong with that because you know you get your thrills when you can but it was just out of interest just like okay what would this feel like you know so I think I hope it's better than a tampon that was a awkward experiment but I just thought I'll try this so I put the the bra on and I was young at the time and I had never seen like in the movies a woman you know I'm just talking movie movies not anything that you

have to hide from public but they'd like put their arms their hands behind their backs and unclasp the bra you know there would be music as well wouldn't there always be like sensual music and I thought I picked the bra up and there was no music and I thought this is weird surely there should be some music playing in the background and I thought there must be a must be a play switch something in the bra just to play some sensual music but nothing and so I put it on you know put it through the

arms through from the arms and stuff upside down to start with so I turned it around and I don't mean I put it through my leg put my legs through put my arms through but it was upside down and then I kind of reached back to try and put it and it just it was getting caught in me me hairs and it was really awkward because I didn't realise then that that's not really how you know not everyone puts their bra on like that or takes it off like that you basically just you can turn

it around and undo it it's it's you know taking bras on and off is not a sensual thing it's just it's no difference to just brushing your teeth or blowing your nose it's just it's not it's just a thing that you do isn't it it's like there's there's nothing erotic about me when I put my underpants on it's it's hard to believe but I do actually I do have my own music that I play when I do it but it's the Can Can if you don't know if you've heard that tune sometimes a little bit

of Bing Crosby as well and I yeah so the bra very uncomfortable didn't like it didn't admittedly at the time I didn't really have anything to fill it with I do now I have a very healthy bosom and I could definitely fill maybe not a D cup but I reckon I could fill a B cup or C I reckon yeah there's definitely a nice a nice handful there well not a nice handful but a handful of fat really I suppose covered in skin and anyway after that I must have left some hairs because no one

caught me doing it but I think I must have like when I took it off I must have left some hairs some chest hairs in it because after that my mum stopped leaving her underwear on the radio so and I decided I'm gonna get me own underpants I'm not I wasn't wearing anybody else's underpants luckily and I do I'm so grateful for this because when I was a kid I had two older brothers we passed down clothes I got down I got old clothes passed down to me for years but never underwear thankfully it's like

oh imagine that oh these these brown underpants are lovely oh they were they were Paul's and Paul says well I've never had any brown underpants no they weren't brown to start where were they Paul hey hey hey so yeah I um I bought I don't know if it was in Marks and Spencers or I think it was but I bought these underpants but they were proper ones you know they were like quite expensive ones not expensive now but back then probably you know well I thought it was expensive for underpants and I bought them and

they were too tight and I'm not saying that it's not because I've been you know I'm a very lucky boy it's nothing like that it's I just felt constricted I don't think everything needs to be squashed together for me that would be like wearing a bra with just one cup and squashing both of them into one it just that would be I'm sure it would be very uncomfortable or having a jumper with just one arm that both your arms have to go into you know that's kind of how it kind of felt um I've never

had a jumper with one arm or a bra with one cup I'm just saying that's how I imagine it might be um and I didn't like it but it seemed to go together with the 501 jeans that I used to have because it was all everything kind of was supposed to well not supposed to but sort of to be in place you know to just you know your knees are there your feet are there and your your bulge is there you know and I thought what's wrong with just hanging loose and I started doing that

I used to start wearing my jeans without any underwear which has its own problems so you know it's kind of if you want to know why we wear underwear try go a few days without wearing underwear then you realise why we need to wear underwear I think that kind of explains that one and uh so if you meet someone and they say yeah I never wear underwear steer clear that's what I would say it's like you never wear underwear so how often do you wash those trousers and those jeans oh once a week oh nice

yeah yeah nice so these these underpants were too tight and then I discovered boxer shorts again never had them when I was a kid never even heard of them I've heard of boxers and I'd heard of shorts but not boxer shorts you know individual things and I thought they were just for boxers you know people that not the dogs but for people that were just you know the pugilists in the ring boxing each other oh I heard something really good the other day last night I was watching Dionte Wilder defend his WBC world heavyweight title

and he knocked out his opponent and when he's been in the feud he was he said something that I've never ever heard a boxer say ever and he was sort of saying thank you and you know to you know to whatever to the you know to the standard stuff and he said I'm just glad that my opponent is okay and we're both going home to our families because the head is not supposed to take punches and I thought wow and he's right our heads are not supposed to take punches it causes brain damage for everybody

every time you know it's I'm not talking about severe brain damage but it's getting hit in the head causes damage to the brain it's a scientifically proven fact they're just saying weird that a boxer a professional person does that for a living is aware of that yet still does it mind you to be fair he doesn't take that many punches he's the one that he knocks out most of his opponents so he's only taken a few hard punches ever you know in his professional career so I suppose he's got off a lot lighter than most

boxers but it seemed a weird thing to hear a boxer say you can't look like wow in fact I might have actually said wow out loud but I didn't record myself so it's hard to know anyway back to the boxer shorts I bought some boxer shorts and it was like wearing jeans without any underwear but without the complications and I thought wow that's brilliant because let's face it I don't want to have to buy you know I bought one nice pair of jeans 501s even 30 odd years ago they cost like £30 you know they

weren't cheap even then and I couldn't afford to buy 7 pairs for the week so yeah I bought the boxer shorts and ever since then my entire adult life I've worn boxer shorts about time I bought some new ones I suppose but they're good though I've had boxer shorts in the past I've had holes I've worn them for so long that they've actually got holes at the side in fact I've got some at the moment I think I've got they wear out I think it's the washing machine that does it more than me and I'm

just thinking I'm kind of like the Hulk but the only part of me that gets angry is my buttocks so it stretches because my buttocks get big and green and all angry and muscly and it stretches the boxer shorts out of out of their normal human shape so I just got a visual of that that was weird what a weird thing to say so since then I've had boxer shorts I've got through so many different pairs over the years had to chuck a few pairs out what I find now is if I if once they

wear out like with socks underwear t-shirts anything like that once I stop wearing them I chuck them on the floor and Andre takes them he loves that stuff as it is I chuck stuff on the floor in a pile and he nicks constantly nicking underwear and socks and he does some weird things with them and he goes through periods where he sleeps within the laundry the dirty laundry I know this is grim it's horrible really but he actually sleeps he crawls in between the you know not right underneath it all but like in the middle

of it all so you wouldn't even know he's there maybe you see his tail sticking out or you see his little nose sticking out you know and he'll go to sleep and he goes through periods like that like he'll be doing that every day for weeks and weeks and he'll go back to sleeping in his bag and then I can't find him again and he's asleep on my bed and he's always on my bed asleep for weeks and weeks and weeks or he gets inside the quilt and he's asleep there he just has his little

things where he likes to he finds somewhere like new that he likes to sleep and he sleeps there and that's his new new place and then he always goes back to the bag but there's sometimes he goes weeks without even going near the bag it's very I can't figure him out I really can't which is quite I quite like that because why would I want to figure him out he's his own person he's a he's an amazing little character I'd like to get some decent socks because I've had socks in the past that have been

ok but they never I haven't had many pairs of socks that I've really I've enjoyed now it might sound like a silly thing to say because a lot of people maybe listening to this may say yeah but JJ no one enjoys socks but why not why can't we enjoy socks what's wrong with enjoying socks and I'm going to search I am I'm going to do a bit of research and I'm going to that's one of the reasons why I'd like to in the future earn a living which is a good living you know good financially

living financially independent so I can buy some really nice socks and by that I mean go to London and go and get the get a nice expensive pair of socks that are just so comfortable that I'll wear them and I'll just oh I'll just be smiling make my something to make my feet smile that's it isn't it it's when you feel that you know when you feel in your body and you feel like a smile in that part of your body you know when you've eaten something really nice but it's not just tasty but also

it feels nice once you've eaten it because you know some things that are tasty they feel heavy don't they in your tummy and it's like oh you have to sit down for a few weeks to digest that you're like a snake or something but with this like a nice light meal but lovely tasty just the right amount and you just feel so your tummy is smiling saying thank you daddy thanks for feeding me that was lovely and he said that's okay and in the tummy he says no I'm not finished yet I said okay what

he said I just want to let you know that you don't have to wait for a long time before you do something physical I said well what do you mean well it was a light lunch and sometimes you know when you do like sausage and mash and beans and I just feel so it's like it takes all the energy just to digest it and I really recommend you don't do anything for a couple of hours yeah well I'm just saying that I feel quite energetic now I don't think it's going to take all the energy

to digest that food so of course don't go swimming or do anything silly like that until the food's digested but you can you know you can go for a walk or carry on doing stuff it's fine you haven't got to sit down in a chair and close your eyes or anything like that if you don't want to so I think that's I've got to bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye Bye.

You know that feeling is like, oh that was nice. That was lovely.

Just what I needed. Even if it wasn't, but it just feels like, oh. I'm not sure why I was talking about food.

Oh yes, smiley parts of your body. Yeah, I mean I could go further with that. But you know sometimes, I think sometimes when I've had a bit of an iffy tummy, or trapped wind sometimes, I've managed to let it go.

And I've just done a ginormous fart. But I could just feel the release of that. And although I can't see it, I know my bum is smiling at me.

I know it's a smiley bum. It's like it's happy. Everything's okay now.

So it's good. It's good to have smiley parts of your body. I know it sounds a bit weird and silly, but actually there's something to that.

It's like looking after the different parts of your body, maybe moisturising. Sometimes I do moisturise my face every day. And sometimes it feels nice, or having a bath.

It just feels nice afterwards, just to feel clean. It's like my whole body just has a little smile on it, like every part. And I used to feel a bit like that when I used to shave, because I don't shave really anymore.

I've got a big beard now. Well, it's not huge, but it's pretty big. And sometimes I'd have a shave and I'd just... Although I don't like how I look when I shave, I don't feel a clean shaving face really suits my face.

But sometimes it feels nice. It's like that smoothness. It's like, ah.

It's the same as when I shave my head. And I haven't shaved it to the bone for a while, but when I do shave it, it just feels so nice. Especially when I do it with a razor and it's like, ah, I keep touching it and massaging the scalp.

And when I do do it like that, I put moisturizer on it, just because you get a little bit dry after shaving. Although generally any kind of dry skin would be taken off by the razor, but it's like the feeling of putting that moisturizer into my scalp and massaging my scalp, and it feels so nice. And I can feel my scalp smiling.

It's a nice feeling. I still massage my scalp even I'm doing it now, actually. I like to include the back of my neck.

Yeah. Just that sense of relaxation. It's nice.

Doing a bit of self massage is good. That's why I wish I could reach my back and massage my back, because I do, especially my lower back. I can reach my lower back, but it's not the same as someone else doing it.

You know, it's a little bit different, isn't it? Someone else's hands just feels different than when you're doing it with your own hand. I suppose I could do the old trick, couldn't I? I could just lay on my right arm until it goes numb and then massage my lower back. So it feels like someone else is doing it, but it doesn't really work.

You know, it's because you need to be able to feel with your fingertips, the muscles and especially like with the spine and the coccyx and all that area, because you massage either side of the spine, those muscles and then you need to be a little more gentle with certain parts and a bit more firmer with others. So you need to be able to feel the pressure, I suppose. Not feel the pressure as in, you know, as if you was an astronaut entering the atmosphere of the planet, not that kind of pressure, but or doing an exam.

But although exams don't have to be pressure-less, they can be pressure-less. They can be, say, oh, I just invited Vinnie to move word. There's some people really finicky and really it's like that word doesn't exist or no words existed at some point.

You just make that up. All words are made up. Did you not know that? It's all made up.

What do you mean it's all made up? You know that makes sense. Yeah, it's all made up. Believe it or not, the world didn't start turning when you were born.

You know, just because the language was there when you were born into the world, or I was born into the world, though I was created. I was created in a laboratory somewhere, I think. I was an experiment that went wrong, but it's okay.

I've used my superpowers for good, so it's okay. My superpowers of boredom. Can you imagine if someone did that? You know, sort of some kind of eugenic trial or whatever.

Let's create the most boring person the world's ever known. Someone that needs someone that can talk nonstop, eternally, basically continuously coming out with absolutely pointless stuff and never runs out of words. That's a great time to have a pause, isn't it? Never runs out of words, and then there's a big pause.

And then maybe they created me, but I don't know, what would I be a mix of? Because the thing is with these kind of recordings is, you know, I wanted to read more stuff, read more books, but I don't think any books are boring. I don't think it's fair to call any book boring, because every book has its own audience. So I could read a book about mathematics, and it would bore a lot of people, because of the subject.

But at the same time, mathematics is not a boring subject. And if it wasn't for mathematics, our world would be a lot different. If it wasn't for mathematics, I wouldn't have this phone here.

I wouldn't be doing this. Computers would never have been created, and computer programs and apps and mobile phones, all that stuff. So in any book, any fiction, a book of fiction, that's someone's work.

That's someone's life work sometimes. They might have written one book in their life, and that was the most important thing to them. So for me to pick that up and start reading it, and under the bracket of, let me bore you to sleep, seems disrespectful to that person.

But the idea was kind of how I read the book, because, you know, you may be a big fan of, let's say, Game of Thrones or Harry Potter. But I guarantee you, if I read that book out loud, you would not be on the edge of your seat, thinking what's going to happen next. Partly because you've already seen the film or the TV shows or read the books, but, you know, you wouldn't be, it wouldn't be an interesting read or an interesting listen, rather.

Perhaps. And it's a shame that there's so many books that I can't read because of copyright laws. And also, because I could read, I could do a whole different podcast just reading books on subjects that I want to read.

You know, there's a never ending library of psychotherapy books that I want to read, and have read a few, but so many that, you know, that would last me my life. There's a lifetime of books just on psychotherapy. There's a lifetime of books just on philosophy.

There's a lifetime of books on hypnosis that would be impossible to read. That many books, they're just too many. But wouldn't it be lovely to be able to just read them out loud, so that I'm learning, I'm getting to read what I want to read, and at the same time, I'm getting to bore people into sleeping.

But I'm kind of limited to really, old books. And of course, you know, it's not to say that, you know, the fact is that many of the best books ever written are really old books. The old classics, that's what I call classics, isn't it? But it seems like it's a bit, as a book buff, I used to be really into books, used to be my main sort of passion, or definitely hobby, collecting books was my hobby for a long time.

And to read a book really boringly, a book that's really good, and is someone's life work, you know, I mean, something that someone's won a Pulitzer Prize, or, you know, some Booker Prize, or a big author, just seems a little bit wrong, a little bit cheeky, you know, a little bit cheeky. And as you know, any of you that have listened to me enough, you know that the last thing I ever am is cheeky. You know, so I don't want to, I don't want, you know, I'm very, very serious all the time.

Very important to be serious. That's me. That's my inner penguin.

For some reason, I've managed to get through an hour and I've literally said nothing. I couldn't even tell you what I've spoken about. Never mind.

That's what my mum once said to me. Jason, wear your own underwear. See you next time.

Bye bye.