#174 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (7th July 2019)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes.

Now, yesterday I made, well the recording I did, I can't remember what number it was, 173. I actually did a relaxation slash sleep session. So instead of just chatting and stuff, I did something different for this, but not different for me, if that makes sense.

I did something that is what I've been doing for a long time and I thought it'd just be nice to maybe mix it up a little bit and perhaps do a few more of those in the future. Not today, but in the future. As well as some other stuff, you know, maybe reading some books and doing things a little bit different, as well as, you know, chatting the way that I do also.

So there's going to be times I'll do this, I'll just talk. So I'm planning to do more, I think. There's something that, I'm not going to say inspired me, because it annoyed me, but I got a testimony or a comment saying that I used to be professional and they said it seems as if I don't even care anymore.

And that's a little bit painful to read, to be honest. Admittedly, I was constipated at the time, so I had a bit of stomach problems. I was sitting on the toilet and straining while I was reading that, so it's a bit painful.

Apparently, I don't take things serious enough. And I thought it was understood that I'm not taking these seriously. I'm not being all serious with them.

It doesn't mean that I don't take what I do seriously and that doesn't mean I don't care. It just means that I'm just being playful. And I guess it's not always going to be to everybody's pleasure, I suppose.

And I was trying to think, how has my recordings changed since I started doing them? And maybe I haven't, maybe I just said something in a particular recording that muffled, is it muffled a few feathers? I don't know, ruffled, riffled, raffled, which only happens if you're taking yourself seriously. So my advice when you listen to these recordings is leave that part of you that takes things seriously or that takes yourself seriously, leave that behind. Let that go.

Press the pause button off of that. And then, you know, you can listen to this with a more relaxed state because otherwise it might not be as relaxing and enjoyable as it might have been if you were able to just let go and feel relaxed. And you may say, yeah, but juicy JJ, I'm listening to it because I'm not relaxed and I want to be relaxed, which is a fair point.

So that's part of the reason why I'm not shouting because that would be less relaxing. I'm trying to be, you know, have a relaxing tone. And I haven't got music blaring out in the background because that might not be that relaxing.

So I'm trying to, you know, this is going to be a few background sounds. It's quite difficult to avoid that really. Especially when you've got a big squeaky chair like mine, it squeaks proper squeaky.

There's a fridge in the kitchen humming away. Same tune, wouldn't mind if it was a bit creative. You know, the Popeye, tune to the Popeye cartoons would be nice.

Just, just something different. Maybe just a different chord instead of, maybe, I don't know. And there's the birds in the trees in the garden, but they're not awake.

Yeah, sometimes they are awake when I make these recordings. I'm doing this relatively early. It's 17 minutes past 2am on this Sunday, the 7th of July, 2019.

And I just clattered my can of Coke. And then you may say, but King Jason, how can you be drinking Coke? That's a stimulant. That's not going to help you sleep.

Yeah, but I'm not trying to sleep. I'm making this recording for you, not for me. Because I can't make recordings when I'm asleep.

I have to be awake and alert. In order to do them. But saying that sometimes, especially when I do the, like the one I did yesterday, or the Whisper Hypnosis, what they call Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis podcast, that sometimes I find myself kind of drifting, like really drifting.

But luckily, they're not too long. They're 20 minutes, roughly. But when I do the weekly sleep hypnosis, and they last longer, maybe 40 minutes plus, I do find myself drifting, proper like, kind of just as if all the stress just disappeared from my body, including like the natural good stress, you know, the stuff that helps you stand up and be alert and, you know, function.

But it gets to a point where just like everything just leaves. It's like, you know, there's no energy left. It's a bit like sneezing six or seven times in a row.

And you blow your nose and you think, wow, there can't be any more snot left in my body. See, something like that might offend someone, I don't know. That could be, it sounds like quite a professional thing to say.

That's something a doctor would say, surely. No, I actually had a doctor once. I had a doctor, it sounds, okay, I had, I was put on medication.

This is back in 19, 19, 19, 1995, maybe, or maybe 96, or 97, one of them. And the doctor was giving me antidepressants. And he was saying, the doctor, the medication may cause, and he said like some technical word.

I said, what? He said, it might cause, and he said it again. And I didn't understand what he was saying. Like the word that he was using, he was using descriptions that I didn't understand.

I understood the words, it might cause, but when he said the words after that, I didn't, it wasn't that I wasn't listening, I didn't cover my ears up or stick my head out the window going, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was actually there, sat in the chair, I looked at him. I didn't need to look at him because I was quite close, I could hear.

And I didn't understand what he said, and he was getting frustrated. So this is a highly professional man. Unlike me, this is proper professional, you know, a doctor, someone that has to study for forever to be qualified.

And then, you know, they're basically heroes, you know, they sort of spend their life helping people and saving lives, which is amazing. So that's who this doctor was. And after about five attempts of trying to explain to me what it was that the medication may cause, because he kept going, you know, down there, down there, it might, you know, cause dribble, dribble down there.

I said, what? Then he kept, what, louder and louder. And eventually he said, it might cause you to piss yourself. I was like, what? I said, what, what? He said, no, just a little bit.

Dribble, it might, you know, so I said, oh, I'll have that then. Yes, that's a, that's a great, I mean, it didn't, never did, I've never had that problems. But that was a professional person that used that expression to me, might cause you to do wee-wees.

And I would never use that kind of language. I mean, I was, I was shocked. I wasn't shocked.

I was, I was, to be fair, I was more concerned about, I didn't want to be in a bed with plastic covers or plastic over the mattress. It's like going back to being a teenager. You know, I just used to have all that when I was a kid.

The thing is, it wasn't, it's, it's just seemed to be, I didn't really wet the bed, I don't think. Well, I did, I have. I wasn't really the standard kid.

I wasn't really into, because when you wet the bed, it's unconscious and it's no one's fault at all. I said, no one's, it's not even, not, not even the, the, the traffic warden's fault. It's no one's fault, but it's, the traffic warden should be punished.

No, I'm joking. I don't drive, so I don't care. And I never, I don't, I think, I don't remember ever soiling the bed once.

And I've been unwell, a bad stomach and that, but God, this is going bad, isn't it? I'm talking about soiling the bed. Yeah, I prefer to, I prefer to do stuff like that when I was fully clothed. It's more fun.

I was, I need to put an x-ray in against this one. Yeah, I can't tell you the next story. The next story is quite explicit.

I'm going to make it, I'm going to dumb it down and make it friendly. I was, I had a night of, I had an enjoyable evening with the most wonderful person that you could ever meet. A joy to behold.

And I was asleep. And this other person was also asleep. I'm asleep.

I'm just lying there. And I wake up to what I can only describe as as someone pouring cold tea out of a teapot onto my leg. But it wasn't actually not cold.

It wasn't cold, was it? It was warm, warm tea. Cold, cold. It wasn't cold at all.

And this has never happened before. Now what the thing is, it wasn't me. If you know what I mean, it wasn't.

And I was a complete gentleman. Well, first of all, I pushed her out of the way and, you know, avoided the jet. And I spent the rest of the night, I think I might have slept on the floor.

And then I woke up in the morning. And I was like, Hello, darling. How my dear? How you beautiful? You okay? And she was looking at the bedsheets, which on my side were wet.

And she was the sister of one of the waitresses I worked with. Now I thought I was being respectful and just kind to not mention that she had had a little accident and stuff. So I said nothing.

I thought I'd just, you know, I'd go and get a McDonald's breakfast and, you know, just got on with my life. What I didn't realize is that she thought it was me that had had the accident. And I didn't know that she was going to tell her sister.

And I didn't know that her sister was gonna and joyfully spread the good news to my colleagues. So that was a very awkward, awkward, awkward situation. I can imagine the comments I'm gonna get.

I'm supposed to go to sleep when you're talking about stuff like that. I've never been so exalted in all my life. Oh, you really should be.

God, if this is the worst you've ever had, then you've had it good. I've never felt... So if you're out there listening, and you're the person, it was you, not me. I've always tried to be, like, you know, respectful for when it comes to things like relationships and disasters or whatever you want to call them.

And not sort of talking about what's happened. And I just find that demeaning. Because I've had it done to me.

I didn't like it. You know, I had it done to me when I was 16. A girl that I'd been dating, or seeing, for some reason decided to tell her friend about me.

And her friend decided to take it upon herself to try and mock me in public. So that was like, oh, no, didn't like that. So I suppose, in a way, I learned a valuable lesson to show some respect for somebody that you spend, that you share a special moment with.

Now, wait a minute, I might not have learned anything. Yeah, I got that wrong. No, I didn't learn at all.

I just learned it wasn't nice. No, I'm usually quite good. I say usually, I mean, I can't remember what... See, women, what's the difference between women and men? I've forgotten.

There's something. It's something to do with the ribs, isn't it? That women have... Women don't have ribs, but men have ribs. Or is it women have one rib? I don't know.

I know there are some differences. Or men have to have... Men can't bleed for seven days without a transfusion. I shouldn't say that.

I'll take that back. I'll take that back. So, yeah, it's really good that we can talk like this.

Chat. I actually had a bit of a weird week. A bit of a weird week, in a sense.

And I built my websites again. And then a couple of days ago, I destroyed them all again. So, yeah, it's... I'm just not going to bother with the websites anymore.

I was going to start a business. I was going to try and... It's still going to be a free service, but I was going to put some of the archives, some of the older recordings, and make them available on our websites for people to buy for a pound each. But still... So, there'd be 80% of my recordings would be free and 20% would be available to buy.

But I changed my mind. I thought, you know what I'll do? I'll put... I won't change my mind until I put at least 70 hours of work into it, into building the websites. And then I'll change my mind.

So, I didn't make any recordings for over a week. Maybe 10 days, nine days. It was the 27th.

I think was the last recording until yesterday. And yesterday was the 6th of July. And I think there was 30 days in June.

Or was it 31 days? Yeah, it's at least 10 days, probably. Or nine. Nine or 10 days between.

So, yeah, I'm kind of back to what I did. What I did... This is brilliant. Not.

So, I deleted a lot of the podcasts. Not a lot, but there's 236 episodes spread along the various podcasts I've got, which I deleted and made them available on the websites. So, once I deleted the websites, I put those podcasts back on, those podcast episodes back and kind of re-done to the podcasts.

So, if it's in order. So, I kind of re-uploaded the the sessions. And it's quite weird because I've had... Yesterday I had three and a half thousand or three thousand eight hundred downloads on Friday.

And yesterday, Saturday. It's still Saturday to me because I'm still awake, but officially it's Sunday. So, the 6th, which is Saturday, I had 10,000 downloads.

Plus I did two new recordings. Was it two? No, three new recordings during the night. So, I did the Let Me Fall Into Sleep, Deep Sleep Whisper and a Relaxation Hypnosis for stress, anxiety and panic attacks.

So, I did one there. So, if you want to, if you do, if you're looking for kind of more professionalism, those ones are pretty good. The Deep Sleep Whisper ones, I sometimes say a few silly things, but because they're only 20 minutes long, I usually get down to business and, you know, keep a straight face when I'm doing it.

With a nose like mine, I'm never going to have a straight face, but you know what I mean. It's I have a very voluptuous face, very busty, got very busty cheeks. I am.

I've got a lovely, lovely, I don't know, my face, I think I've lost weight in my face. I haven't got as many chins as I used to have, yet I'm heavier than I used to be. And we're all heavier than we used to be, aren't we? I'm not.

I'm not heavier than I used to be. I used to be 18 stone, and now I'm only 11 stone. Yeah, but you used to be lower than 11 stone, didn't you? Yeah, when you were born.

Okay, so you can win the argument. It's easy if you can go far enough back. I think, because I'm now 98 kilos, and I was 101, I think, at the beginning of the year, I think, or I'm not sure, at least at the end of last year.

And I do want to, I do want to lose weight. The only part of me, I mean, I might be repeating myself, but it's hard to know if I'm repeating myself, because I take no notice of what I've said. I mean, right now, I don't know what I've said.

I mean, literally, I could repeat myself. Literally, I could repeat myself. I don't take any notice of what I said.

I just blurt it out, and it's gone. And so there's a chance I could repeat myself, but my stomach, I've basically got a beer belly, but I don't drink beer. I don't touch alcohol anymore.

I generally don't. I don't know what it is. I used to drink every single day, practically, through my 30s, and onwards through probably up to 45, six, seven, eight.

Yeah, sort of both. So probably 15 years, but during my 30s, I was very prolific drinking every day, every evening. I used to kid myself that I never got drunk, but I did.

And, but not drunk drunk, but I did sometimes. But generally, it was just kind of to blot out the day, to... I was kind of... I used to fool myself that I was relaxing, but I wasn't. It wasn't relaxing me.

It was just kind of turning my brain off. Well, kind of, although my brain doesn't seem to work to turn my brain off. Alcohol, it just gets a bit more distorted.

That's the reason I don't need to take drugs, because my brain's already a bit... I wouldn't say scrambled, but it's a bit... a bit, a bit, you know, a little bit sometimes. So I like to be sober. And I don't mean just like not drinking.

I like to just feel aware of what's going on. I like to feel that I'm in touch with my surroundings and how other people are acting and interacting with each other, and whether or not I need to remove myself from that situation. I'm quite sensitive to humans in person.

But I've got this belly, okay, that's what I was talking about, beer belly. But I don't drink. But the belly's still there.

Now, I don't believe... like, I used to be 13 and a half stone before I started my college course in 2007. So before I trained to become a counsellor, and if this is the first time you're listening, you train to become a counsellor after all the rubbish that you just said in the last 20 minutes. How can you have been a counsellor? You know what? This is true.

I think it was about 2009. I went on Facebook. Well, it might have been 2010.

I started doing a bit of work in London for my friend. It's just I wasn't... it wasn't work. I was just helping out in the comedy club.

And I owed him money. So I was kind of just sort of trying to kind of pay off the interest really by going out there and into London and helping out in the office and stuff. So I started getting to know a few more of the comedians.

I was speaking to them on the phone, and I was sticking around at night and getting to know a few of them because I hadn't been involved in comedy for quite a while. So we got known a little bit that I was, you know, I can't... Well, basically I went on Facebook and I saw some people talking about me. And these are people from my past because I used to be very involved in the comedy circuit back in my early 20s.

And I had a bit of a reputation for being... I don't know. I probably talked about this in the past. But yeah, I had a reputation.

That's all I'll say. And there was like two or three people talking about me on Facebook. And they're just like someone posted something.

And they said, is it true that Jason's... Someone said, what ever happened to Jason? Because they all knew that I worked at the comedy club. In the past, I was involved in it and helped out and stuff. As well as I just lived comedy for a long time.

I didn't care what I had to do. I just wanted to be part of it. And for 10 years.

And someone said, oh, I don't know. You heard about... You heard from Jason? You know what he's up to? I'm laughing. I heard he was a therapist.

Now the comments that came afterwards was... I don't know if it's upsetting, but it was like, oh, that's what they thought of me. And I was sort of saying, oh my God, how can someone like him be a therapist? And I won't say what some of the stuff they said. And I thought, you know what? We can change, you know? We can not... Because I used to not care what I said.

And you may think, oh, you're still like that now. But trust me, this is... I'm really not. I used to be very... I don't even know what the word is.

Adult, explicit, offensive. I used to like... On purpose, I used to do that for a while when I first started. I closed down a few clubs.

But then I learned from it, and I changed, and I went out to make people laugh, and I got better at it. And it was okay for a while. And they couldn't... I mean, they were talking about the 21-year-old version of me, or the 24-year-old version of me, the 26-year-old version of me.

That's what they were talking about. Not the 39-year-old version of me who was reading these posts on Facebook. And a heck of a lot's happened in those 10 years, for me, and for everyone, of course, as well.

And I think what it was is... Because one of the people... What's his name? He gave me a job years ago. It was Christmas. It was December 1991, and it was at the Elephant and Castle.

And my friend, he was really into comedy, and I think he was... He ran a comedy club or something. I forget. But he had a record shop, and he said, did I want to help out? I thought, yeah, great.

Okay. It was only just for a few weeks, but he paid me a little bit of money. It was enough for me to get by, and buy food, and travel, and stuff.

And I got there, and it was really cold, really windy, really rainy, and I was so glad to get inside the shopping center. And as you go in, there was a supermarket. I think it was a Sainsbury's, but it could have been a Tesco, on the right-hand side.

And as you walk further up... I've not thought about this in absolutely years. As you walk further up, I think there was a... I've got a memory that it was a mobile phone shop, but there wasn't, because there weren't any mobile phones in those days. But you walk through... Because it was Christmas.

Yeah, it was Christmas time, so there's lots of things inside, selling tinsel, and stuff like that. And I was pretty sure there was somebody selling perfumes. I have a memory of that, for some reason.

And then there was an escalator that went upstairs, and there was stuff upstairs as well. I don't remember what. I really don't, but it was... Yeah, I can't remember what was upstairs.

And then the escalator, there was another escalator that went down, that went down the back side of the... Down the back side of the shopping center, which is the back part. And as I walked around, around the escalator, because it's carried on, there was other shops and stuff. And my friend had a shop right in the middle, which was a record store.

But it looked more like a... Like a porter cabin, kind of, with glass all over it. That's more like a greenhouse, just full of records. And he had all these, like, really old records that were, you know, I would say from the 90s, but they wouldn't have been old then, would they? But stuff in the 60s, and, you know, Beatles, and Elvis, and stuff like that.

First editions. I know very little about records, really, but as far as, you know, selling them and stuff like that, like that. And I thought, oh, oh, this is all right.

I said, he said, do you like, what do you think about the shop? I said, it's nice. But, he said, what? I said, well, the counter's not very big, is it? He said, well, no, because I need more room for the customers and for the merchandise. I can't, you know, that's why it's a small counter, you know, you know, where you had the till and stuff.

I don't think he even had a till. I think he just had a box with chain in. And I said, yeah, but where am I going to stand? He said, what do you mean? I said, well, there's not enough room for me, is there? He said, you haven't got to worry about that.

I said, why? He said, you're going to be standing outside. I said, what? How are the customers? I thought he was going to get me handing out leaflets or something, which he did do at some point, but that's a different matter. And it turned out he had a trolley outside waiting for me, which was full of tapes, like cassette tapes.

I'm talking hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of cassette tapes, boxes full. And he basically just led me the way outside to a stall that was already set up with a table. And it had shelter.

No, it didn't have any shelter. It was just a table. That's right.

It was just a table. No shelter. And all the others had shelter.

For some reason, I didn't. So I just put all the stuff down onto the table. And that was my job, to stand outside for, from, I don't know, nine o'clock to five and sell tapes.

And I had a tape recorder, like a tape player. You know, when it was like Sonic Booster, I don't know, probably weren't called Sonic Boosters back then. I think they only, probably had Sonic the Hedgehog back then, didn't they? But it was a music audio player thing.

And that was all right. So I got to listen to music. I remember I was listening to Elton John.

Yeah, I was listening to Elton John's greatest hits. I mean, he, I kind of think that, imagine if he'd have got paid every time I played his album. He'd have earned a lot of money that year, but not that he needed the money.

And even if he did, I think, definitely didn't after 1997, he earned quite a fair bit of money that year. But this was 91, so I suppose he didn't realize the windfall he was going to get. And the profit he was going to make rehashing a really good song, but turn it into a, yeah.

So I had this job, I was standing outside, cold, shoal cold. And I really enjoyed it. It's kind of weird, but I enjoyed it.

I got to know the man that sold fish. I got to know the man that sold ladies underwear. And I realized then that that's probably the best job in the world.

If you want to, because at that time, all I wanted to do was meet women. And have warmer feet. I just saw him and he was selling.

I remember him because he was a boxer. I used to talk to him. He was a boxer and he was, I think he was kind of Greek or Greek descent.

And he just used to talk about it. And he was a boxer and he sold ladies. It wasn't just underwear.

It was also like dresses and tops, but there's a lot of underwear. There seemed to be too much underwear. The clothes to underwear ratio seemed to be, hmm, you know, didn't seem to, a little bit too much, a bit top heavy bra wise, you know.

But I suppose maybe he got some kind of discounts on the underwears. And it's probably cheaper to buy, isn't it? Than jeans and dresses and and suits or whatever else. And the people wear.

And who else was there? Oh, there was the person that sold everything. He literally had, he kind of had a, a port a caravan kind of thing with a market stall as well next to it. And he just sold everything like light bulbs, batteries.

For some reason, that's the only two things I can think about. Only two things I can think that shops sell. Like the whole world was just, a world of retail revolves around light bulbs and batteries.

But, you know, just all those like things like plugs are kind of a little electrical things, and radios and the kind of stuff that you, you might spend 10, 10 pound for. But you'd be surprised if it actually works when you get home. It's got one of those moments just where you think, shall I just flush this 10 pound note into the toilet? Or shall I give it to this man on this market stall? I'll just give it to the man on the market stall.

Saves me going to the toilet. That kind of situation, I think. And it's very much a lucky dip.

And so he was nice. What other people was there? There wasn't, it wasn't all men. There was women as well working there.

And I think there was a food place that sold possibly burgers and sausages. But I don't think I touched it. I think I ate anything from there because even though I wasn't probably getting the best education, I knew I knew not to eat stuff out of one of those burger vans.

It was, yeah, I'll tell you what they did have. Facing the, if you face the shopping centre entrance, it might have changed. I mean, this is a long time ago.

You know, we're talking, what, 1991. It's now, what, 1999, isn't it? Or no, I know it's 90, 2009, 2019. So if it was 89, 99, 2009, 2019, that'd be 30 years, 1991.

So it's 28 years ago, nearly, that I was there. So I think it's a fair assumption that not one of the people that was working there then are still there now. Well, that could be wrong.

I mean, a bloke selling underwear. He might be chatting the old ladies up saying, I used to be a boxer, you know, I used to be a boxer. Used to have a great left jab.

I say that like he'd be old, he'd be probably my age. He was probably only about 23, 24. And I don't sound like that.

Can you imagine what it's going to be like in the future when I'm making these recordings? When I'm 70 or 80. Hello, welcome to let me bore you to sleep. I'll just be falling asleep myself.

I still would be complaining. I never used to sound like that. Used to sound a lot younger.

That's because I was a lot younger. I love that. It's one of the things, one of my favourite things in the world is people that whisper shout.

You know, people actually, would you stop doing that? And they're shouting, but they're whispering at the same time. I used to have someone at work that did that. It was called, his surname was Alan.

I don't remember his first name, but he was one of the top sellers. And I tried to sell like him, and I didn't have his ability. And you know what his ability was? You know his sales technique? To put absolutely no effort in whatsoever.

He'd do a quotation. And at the end of it says, did you want it then? That was it. And he was one of the top sellers.

But the way he asked it is he didn't care. He sounded like he didn't care. Not like in a rude way, but just in a, it was so un-pushy.

The opposite to pushy. But he used to, he used to whisper shout. Especially if someone's being noisy.

Will you stop talking when I'm trying to talk to a customer? It was like, he honestly was like, Oi, over here, Bob, I need your help. I actually thought that maybe he had some kind of throat operation, but he could talk. The reason I know that is because I used to listen to his calls.

That was part of my job. It's very funny as well. Very, very humorous.

And if you're facing, well, if you were facing the Elephant and Castle shopping center, on the left hand side, there was, or facing, if you move your eyes to the left, there was a pub called the Charlie Chaplin. Now, I don't know if it's still there. It might be.

But my friend, my boss at the time or whatever, he started a comedy club at the Charlie Chaplin. I think it was called Comedy at the Charlie Chaplin. And he got me handing out leaflets and I helped.

I was going to say I helped run it, but I didn't. I just helped set up, put the chairs out and stuff like that. And then next to that, there was, it's kind of like an American style diner.

And I can fairly, pretty much say, because I had, I've met a few females while I was doing that job and I ended up dating two. But the one I really wanted to date, I didn't end up dating. And what's really weird, this is going to sound strange.

This, and I'm going to say girl, because they were all young as well. They were all kind of 17, 16, 17, 18, something like that. Legal age in my country.

So legal, but I was 20, whatever. And this lady, this woman, girl, whatever, she used to always keep hugging me. And kissing me on the cheek and I've gotten so well with her, but she had a boyfriend.

So I just didn't even think, consider anything because I got on okay with her boyfriend and that was it. But then she got pregnant and that was it. But she had the face that I've always, I wasn't attracted to her type of face before I met her.

I don't think, but when I met her, it's like it imprinted on my brain. And I can't, I'm not going to explain her face. But when I meet somebody, that has a similar type of face, I just, a part of me, part of my heart melts.

And it's not, it's kind of, I think it's part of kind of what could have been, you know, kind of, if I had, if I'd maybe told her that I liked her before she got pregnant and, you know, I don't know. But I really liked her. I can't remember her name, but she was one of these people who was always pleased to see me.

And I've not had a lot of that in my life, to be honest. I've got, even Andre, he's not that interested in seeing me. And he's my boy.

So she always, always, yeah, another person probably was my grandmother. She was always pleased to see me. That's why it's good to get a dog, I suppose.

I'm not comparing my grandmother to a dog. I'm just saying that if you get yourself a dog, they're pleased to see you. And if you want to come home to someone that's pleased to see you, don't get a ferret.

Because he doesn't even come out to see me. When I come home, the only time he comes out to greet me is if he wants me to give him some food, or if he wants me to take him out for a walk. And that's it.

Although I guess it's not totally true. Sometimes he does seem to want to play or have a cuddle. But then if I sit in my chair, he will come out and he'll jump on me and play around and give me kisses and stuff and cuddle up.

You know, so I should stop moaning about him. But he's not, he's definitely nothing like a dog. He's kind of a mixture, we'd say, between a cat and a dog.

But he's not, he's a ferret. He's a, well, he's kind of a hybrid polecat ferret. Basically just a wild animal that's been, they're born wild.

You know, dogs, they're born and stray away. They're just beautiful and loving and, you know, they love human company. Ferrets, they want nothing to do with humans.

Hate being touched, hate being held. Even now he sort of pushes me away sometimes. I'm trying to eat, dad.

I'm trying to eat. I'm trying to sleep, dad. I'm trying to sleep.

You know, it's like, yeah, but I've got you because I want to cuddle you. So why don't you get yourself a teddy bear? Which I found very rude. I thought it was a very rude thing to say.

But anyway, that's the end of another recording. So maybe you could leave a comment on the podcast if you do like what I'm doing. If you think, maybe you think I should do something different.

It's hard to gauge it though, because people listen. Regularly, you know, thousands of downloads a week just on this podcast. Thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands, but you're looking at, I don't know.

Yeah, thousands. I don't know how many. So it's kind of like, well, would people be listening if they didn't like it? Because that would be, that'd be very weird, wouldn't it? And I've also had probably more positive feedback for this podcast than I have for anything else I've ever done.

And I think the ratio of people that like what I do, and people that actually will send a comment or write a comment, it's the ratio is much higher for people not to send a comment. So for every few hundred people, or maybe more, I might get one person might leave a comment. So I'm going to try and mix it up a bit.

Like I said, Andre's decided to come out to play. So I'm going to go before he starts getting noisy. Too late.

You can hear him. Bye.