#192 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (9th August 2019)

Hello and welcome to LetMeBoreYouToSleep.com My name is Jason Newland and this is the wonderful Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes. Because, it's just, yeah, just... I think I need to get that recorded, like, completely separate.

So that I just record a little introduction for each podcast and just put that at the beginning. Here's the introduction and now here's me talking. But, I don't know, I just... I'm so used to saying it.

Because, you know, for the first... let's have a look... Really, until last year, well this year, I pretty much always said, Welcome to jasonnewland.com, my name's Jason Newland and this is HypnoChat. So this is a long relaxation session or this is whatever. So now I've got all these different websites, more than... Actually, this probably isn't more than I've ever had before.

But it's more than I've had for quite some time. I mean, if you added up all the different websites that I've had, Not the actual websites, but the web domains, you know, the name.com, blah, blah, blah. Hairynipple.com or whatever.

I've had so many since the year 2000. I mean, so many, literally lots and lots and lots. And loads since 2006.

And even when I was doing the counselling, hypnosis and all that stuff, like in private practice, I had loads of websites. So, but this is the first time in quite a while that I've had... Have I got 11 websites or 10 websites? No, I've got 10 websites, but I've got another one coming. But they're all built apart from the 3mp3s.com. It's nearly built, but there's a few, because I've got all my stuff on there as well.

But there's still a few bits that I need to add. Still a few, a couple of hundred mp3s I need to add on to it. But the jasonnewland.com has got everything on there.

This isn't even an advert, I'm just talking about my websites. Because that's all I've been doing for the whole week, pretty much. It's been an okay week.

I get tired. And I have periods. Well, I don't have periods.

I have periods of when I just kind of don't want to do anything. So what I do is I go to sleep. Now, I can get to sleep really easily.

And there is an overlap between this recording, this podcast, the Let Me Bore You To Sleep, and the Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis podcast. In a sense of, they're the most regular podcasts that I do. They've got the most episodes of any podcasts, pretty much.

Like, specifically. So this one is, I don't know what number this is, 192? I think so. These ones, and Deep Sleep Whisper, I've just done 124.

Or 25, something like that. I did one earlier today. And I also did a Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety and Panic Attacks.

I did a recording for that podcast a little while ago, and that was 55 minutes long. Or 53 minutes long. And I didn't expect it to be so long.

But I think with that particular podcast, I find myself getting quite emotionally involved in the subject. Because of the extreme difficulty I had. And the major effects it had on my life.

And it still does sometimes. And I'm not completely free of all anxiety or stress or anything like that. But compared to where I was in 2003, you know, it's like the equivalent of being in a wheelchair with two broken legs to doing tap dancing.

You know, it really is that different. I've learned a lot of skills, a lot of different ways to cope. But the main thing really, I don't know why I'm telling you this, is because of the bipolar.

I'm on medication, but because of that, things get a little bit out of hand sometimes. And sometimes the only thing I can do is go to bed, go to sleep. And that's what I do.

So if I'm tired, I go to sleep. And I find it easy to go to sleep. Sleeping is one of those things that generally I'm okay with.

And if I have any problems, I just talk to myself. And I just get bored and fall asleep. But the deep sleep, whisper hypnosis sessions, and the sleep hypnosis weekly, weekly sleep hypnosis, whatever, there's an overlap between all of them.

And there's something for me about the intention, about the thing, something that's really come over me lately is the idea, this is the idea, that actually, and this is just from my own perspective, so I share my own experiences, I guess, I try to, a little bit. Not every experience, but I talk about every single thing that ever happens. Because not all of it is boring.

But I kind of realized the laying down on my bed is actually pleasurable. And I don't mean like honeymoon, honeymoon pleasurable. I mean just, it's nice, just to spread out.

And there's a lot of me to spread out. I'm not bragging, but my belly is impressive. But it's, you know, I like to spread out.

And at the moment, because it's summer, I only wear my boxer shorts in bed, so I've got completely topless, got my boobs out, just my knees, my knobbly knees are showing, got no socks on. And it's just so freeing. You know, it's really just comfortable.

And even if I was fully, not fully clothed, but if I had, I don't wear like dinner jacket in bed, but if I was in the winter, you know, I've got tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt or something that I wear, but it's comfortable to just lay down on the bed without an agenda. And that might seem strange, the idea of like, what do you mean, no agenda? You go to bed for only two reasons. One's for sleeping and the other one's for the other, isn't it? The other.

What do you mean, the other? You know, whoopsie. I've gone back to a 1970s sitcom. I'm going to have a bit of whoopsie.

So, you know, for me, the bed is for sleeping in. And I like lying down on the bed. Whether it's daytime, nighttime, doesn't matter.

If, you know, sometimes I just lay down to have a little, just to relax. Just to feel relaxed, close my eyes. Regardless of what's going on outside.

I mean, right now, what time is it? It's 5.55 in the morning. On this Friday morning, whatever day it is. And there's trains in the distance.

There's a bit of wind as well out there. A bit of rain. I actually, I think I mentioned this once.

I posted, there's a lady called Gail Porter. And she was really famous in this country. In the, I don't know what it was.

It was quite a while back. She was a TV, children's TV presenter. But she also had her, I think she did modelling as well.

But she's a beautiful woman and really funny. And I liked her because she did martial arts as well. I think she got black belt in two different martial arts.

She's really short, Scottish. Gorgeous, big eyes, you know. And anyway, I follow her on Twitter.

Because I bought her book and she brought a book about being bipolar. And I read the book and it was a really good book. And yeah, I kind of, I felt like I got to know her a little bit.

And so I follow her on Twitter. And she, this is like last year or the year before. She posted something saying, I can't get to sleep.

Anyone got any ideas, any suggestions? So I thought, okay, I don't normally promote my stuff to individuals. I just put it on my page and let people find it organically. But occasionally if someone points out that they can't sleep, I might make a suggestion and say, well, have you thought about sleeping pills? And I said, well, I've got, I do recordings for sleep.

I've never contacted her before, never have since. But one of her friends or followers wrote a reply to me saying, well, if you're up at this time in the morning, you can't be much good, can you? So I'm guessing they were laughing like that. And that's the point.

I'm not up because I can't sleep. I'm up because I'm making recordings. That I can't really do during the day because it's, there's activity, quite a bit of activity during the day.

A lawnmower is going off and, you know, people talking and music. And this time of the morning, really pretty much between 12 and 6, is a really good time to make recordings. Because it's nobody about.

I can sleep any time. Doesn't matter if it's day or night. All I've got to do is just lay down on my bed.

And I don't need to try and sleep. Because trying to sleep doesn't, doesn't work. It's, you know, there's quite a few things that you can try and do and it doesn't work.

Because reality gets in the way. Or actually by trying to do something is the opposite to what you want. Like trying to relax, trying to force yourself to relax.

Or force yourself to laugh. Force yourself to like somebody that you don't. Force yourself to be attracted to someone you're not.

Like these natural things that are there. Or force yourself to not be attracted to someone you are. And go both ways.

Or force yourself to like food, a certain food that you don't like. This can be done with hypnosis or with repetition. Of course, I mean, if you love full fat milk, but then you start dating someone or living with someone that only drinks like vegetarian milk.

That's gone non-dairy. And you may find it absolutely tastes disgusting. And you know, it's just gross.

But six months later, you might find after drinking it for six months, that the idea of drinking anything else is horrible. And you get a cup of tea with normal milk in and you can't drink it. Because, you know, it's like, oh.

But you can't force yourself to like the vegetarian milk. But it can progressively become something that you become used to. But when it comes to going to sleep, you can't force yourself to go to sleep.

But if you lay there long enough, you will fall asleep. But it can be a painful way to do it. Especially if you're only laying there with one thought.

I've got to sleep, I want to go to sleep. And that's all you're thinking. For me, lying down thinking, I've got to go to sleep and that's it.

That's all I'm thinking about, go to sleep. That's like eating so that you can poo. You have to poo.

You have to eat. You can't poo without eating. But we don't poo, we don't eat in order to poo.

So for me, lying down on the bed isn't just so I can go to sleep. I must sleep. Lying down on your bed is comfortable.

Lying down on your bed is relaxing. Lying down on the bed just feels nice. The process of just winding down.

And relaxing the body and the mind. And just letting go. And letting that process happen.

Naturally, I think it feels quite nice. So I think my perspective has changed somewhat over time. So of course there's different ways to get to sleep.

There's listening to a boring recording. There's listening to me whispering. Whispering like that.

Blah, blah, blah. And those recordings are very effective. Or listening to a longer sleep session.

Which lasts for maybe 40, 50 minutes. An hour maybe. Or listening to this.

Or just listening to a standard relaxation session. Can also send you to sleep. Occasionally I've listened to my own recordings.

And I always fall asleep listening to them. Not these ones, not the boring ones. Just like a relaxation, a long relaxation one.

I like long ones. I'm not really into short ones. I like length.

And so like an hour, hour and a half is good. But an hour is nice. It's a nice length.

I think an hour is enough time to just really relax. Really just like let go completely. And your mind just wanders.

And there's nothing to think about. You've just got this gentle voice. Just talking or whispering.

Or just talking gently and softly. Some of it's maybe useful information. Some ideas that might possibly sink in to your mind.

And have a positive effect now and in the future. But also you might hear a bunch of silly stuff. Which is not really relevant to anything at all.

And that's okay because going to sleep isn't a serious business. It's the opposite to being a serious business. Even though it's really important.

It's still not serious business. It's just something that we're all born to do. That's why when I go to the toilet, I don't think about it.

I just sit on the potty and just let my body do what it needs to do. I do exactly the same when I'm in the bed. I get through a lot of bed sheets.

No, I'm joking. I just lay down. I let myself just enjoy the process of what comes naturally.

When I eat food, I don't think about the digestive system. The only thing I really think about when I'm eating is to make sure that I chew my food enough. Because sometimes I have a tendency of... I don't know, I'm a bit of a... I like to swallow sometimes.

I need to chew the food a bit too much. I need to chew it a little bit more sometimes. But other than that, I don't think about what happens when the food goes into my body.

I don't think about... So if I'm eating a sausage, I don't think about what happens when the sausage is inside me. That just happens naturally. It's just a process.

The sausage goes inside and there's always enough room. No matter how big the sausage is, I always manage to fit it inside me. And sometimes I quite like the little chipolatas.

But I also like the big sausages as well. Especially if I'm going to have a hot dog. But not a hot dog.

And I don't mean not a hot dog as in a dog that's hot. Like a dog that's kind of sitting on top of a radiator. Like a cat.

That's a dog that thinks it's a cat, isn't it really? But I also don't mean hot dogs as in those... Like bendy things that you get in jars. Like, eurgh, no. I might say, eurgh, they're quite tasty, but no.

I'm talking about proper sausages. But bigger ones. Because I get these sausage rolls.

Not sausage rolls as in like from Greggs. Or you know, a bakery with sausage and pastry. But sausage rolls.

Rolls for sausages. But I get them from Iceland. Which is a frozen store.

A place you buy frozen things from. But not only frozen things. I don't know what the ratio is between the frozen stuff and the non-frozen stuff.

But then there's also stuff that is chilled. And by that I don't mean like just standing there smoking a cigar in a leather jacket. I mean revving the engine of a Harley.

I don't mean that kind of chilled. I mean it's like chilled food. Like sandwich stuff.

Meat. I suppose some raw meat. Some cooked meat.

Cheeses. Milks. And what other stuff do they have? Because sometimes when I think about Iceland.

Because I go to two different Iceland stores. There's one that's not close to me. You know, I couldn't get there standing on my hands.

Couldn't walk on my hands there. It's quite a distance. And couldn't hop on one leg.

You know, it's definitely a bus journey. Unless of course I walked. Or went in a car.

I could probably pogo stick it. But it would take a while. And I'd love to have a pogo stick.

But like an adult version. I think like a little pogo stick wouldn't really do it. Because I'm probably a little bit too heavy now.

Imagine if I stood on like a pogo stick now. Like a small one. It'd probably like melt into the pavement or something.

Saying that, I don't even know if pogo sticks still exist. So I suppose I should explain what pogo sticks is, are, was, were. Basically these things where if you think of a scooter.

You know like the kids or adults even sometimes. They ride along on a scooter. Like a skateboard with a big handle that they hold on to.

So it's kind of like one of those handles. But then there's two side bits. A bit like handles but lower down where you put your feet on.

And the bottom bit would be like a springy, springy bit. So you can kind of like bounce along. I don't know why they called it pogo.

But it's a great name and I'm very happy with it. And I don't think it should be changed. If there is still such a thing as a pogo stick.

I think pogo is a cracking name. But then you've got swizzle sticks. But I don't know what a swizzle stick is.

Maybe it's like a pogo stick. But it swizzles, like turns around or something. I don't know.

I remember years ago. Well everything is years ago isn't it. But I was counselling in a school.

Which is weird when you hear all the stuff I say. Then suddenly I talk about having a really seriously important job. But it was important as far as looking after the well-being of children.

So yeah it was important. And this kid. It's really weird.

He was probably 12, 13 then. So now he'll be in his 20s. That's weird.

But he. I'm not going to talk about him. But basically he wanted to show me his scooter that he had.

So he had this, is scooter the right word? So basically it's what I was talking about. Like a skateboard but it's got a handle on it. And you can do all kinds of tricks and stuff.

And he could do all that. And he wanted to. Basically I think what he wanted to do was to go outside and play.

While I was there. And it gave him an excuse. And I said yeah.

Let's go outside and show me his scooter. Because his mum brought it over. Especially so that I could see it.

Because he wasn't, I think he was allowed to have it at school most of the time. But it was like a brand new scooter. And he was so pleased.

And he showed it to me. And he. Basically put one foot on it.

On the. Like I said it's kind of like a skateboard. But with a handle.

So it's got wheels and stuff. And he put one foot on the middle bit of it. And then he just like pushed his.

Pushed his foot against the pavement. To make it travel forward. And.

It's really strange because. I think I regressed. And became a bit childish.

Because. I. I stole, I stole it off him. No I didn't.

I. I wanted to have a go. And I said oh. Can I have a go? And he said oh alright then.

I think he was surprised. But I just. You know when you've got that little fantasy in your head.

Something that you've always kind of wanted to do. Well that's one of those things I always wanted to do. Not necessarily.

In a school playground. But I always want the idea. Having a little go on one of those little scooters.

But. You know it's kind of. It's not really an adult thing to do.

Although some adults do. If you go to London you'll see adults on them. In the city.

But you know generally it's. For kids. And.

Although you can get mechanical ones now. Like ones that are. Motorized.

And that's cool. So. I said can I have a go? I didn't say it like that.

I said. Can I have a go? Well I said it. I might have said please.

I can't remember. And. I might have said his name so he knew who I was talking to.

Because you know. There's no one else there but. It's always good to say the person's name.

Otherwise they might think. Who's he talking to? So I said hey Bob. Give us a go.

Give us a go son. He said you're my dad. I said no no.

No I mean just give us a go of the. Of the little trolley thing. That you got.

He said alright. So basically. To give a better description of this thing.

It had. Two little wheels at the back. Two little wheels.

At the front. And this is of the. Of the board.

Yeah I think it was. I think that was it. Or it might have had one wheel at the back.

Or one wheel at the front. And two wheels at the back. I can't visualise it.

But all I can think of. Is. A box of shreddies.

Don't know why. That's the only image I've got in my head. A box of shreddies.

Breakfast cereal. So that's not really helpful. Now I'm thinking about.

Oh now I'm thinking about the. Remember any which way but loose. Or any which way you can.

I'm thinking of Clint Eastwood. And Clyde the monkey. I'm thinking of that.

The orangutan. Clyde turn left. Yeah.

I remember that film. It's really weird. You look at Clint Eastwood.

I know he's been around a long time. Like in films. I mean.

On the planet. I just. I think I like his films now more.

Than I did before. The films he does now. Because he did a. A film recently called The Mule.

I think it's just called The Mule. M-U-L-E. And I think he pretty much.

Directs. Possibly even writes it. I don't know.

But he directs his own films now. Has done for. Pretty much since the.

Million dollar. Baby. About the female boxer.

And. He's just. Really old now.

He looks he is. But he's like 80. About 80 years old.

Maybe older. And. I just.

It's really weird. But I just want him to live forever. Because I just love him.

There's something about him. That's just so lovable. And.

Like proper star. Proper. Such a great actor.

And just. I don't know. There's something about him.

Just. He kind of lights the screen up. Mind you that might be the electricity.

But you know. You know I mean. He's not the reason why the screen's lit.

But it's. There's more that goes on into it. You know.

It's not like really little standing in the. You know. In the actual television.

Five inches tall. Can you imagine how much work that would go. Into making a movie.

If you had all these like tiny little actors. Little horses. That'd be a lot of work.

Wouldn't it. So. I had a go on this.

I don't know. Is it scooter? Is that the right word? I forget. And basically it was.

I just went to scratch my eye. And I. I nearly put my. Finger through the lens of my glasses.

Literally forgot my glasses were on. And I went to. It's because now.

Because I wear them all the time. Not all the time. I don't do anything all the time.

But. You know when I'm asleep I don't wear them. There's nothing to look at is there.

But then I've got my eyes closed. Why have I got them off. Why have I got them on.

When I've got my eyes closed. But then I don't always have my eyes closed. When I'm.

Doing this. Now I've got my eyes open. But I was sitting on the bed earlier.

Making the. Stress anxiety panic attack thing. And I took my glasses off.

And I thought. Yeah I'm going to take them off. But I thought I'd take them off before I took them off.

It wasn't afterwards. I didn't take them off then think. I think I'll take my glasses off.

You know. It was a different order. The processing was a little bit different.

And I put them to the right side of me. The right hand side of me. So.

I'm sitting on the bed. And I'm kind of facing. One of the bookcases.

And the right hand side. Is the doorway. So.

On the right. The right hand of me. Is where the pillows are.

So I just put the. Put the glasses down. I didn't want to put them.

I want to make sure I knew where they were. Because that's the thing. Is if you wear glasses.

It's a good idea to know where they are. Depending on your level of eyesight. Otherwise you might like.

Oh where are they? And. Then I looked down at my phone. Because I was recording it on my iPhone.

But I couldn't see. The numbers on it. Because I kind of.

I have a. I don't have it on timer. But I know. The kind of time span.

That I'm looking to do. So. When I do a deep sleep.

Whisper hypnosis. I aim for about 20 minutes. Quite often.

It goes above that. Sometimes a little bit below. But today was 29 minutes.

And with the. This anxiety stress ones. Relaxation.

I try and aim for about. Maybe. Between 30 and 40 minutes.

But I couldn't see the time. I couldn't see the clock going. So.

I had to put my glasses back on. I didn't have to put my glasses back on. You know.

There was no rules. I didn't have any contract. So I'm not putting them on.

Wait a minute. No lawyer popped in. You know.

Just said by the way Mr. JJ. Look look look. He signed his contract 14 years ago.

That when you were going to be sitting here. You had to make sure you had your glasses on. At all times.

And. But I put my glasses back on. And then I could see the time.

The timer on the clock. Or on the. I can't explain what I mean.

So for example. With 43 minutes 39 seconds into this recording. I take my glasses off.

It's still. It's still 43 minutes 51. Yeah.

So that's not a good example. And. In fact it's clearer without my glasses.

Oh. Maybe I had my glasses on. And I took them off.

Yeah. No I think it's because it was from a distance. See.

I was sitting on the bed. The side of the bed. And.

Because if I sit in the middle of the bed. You know I have to kind of keep my body upright. It's much easier to do that.

When I'm sitting on the side of the bed. And my feeties are on the floor. Because then that kind of gives that.

Balance. And support. Which is.

Very much needed. But if I sat in the middle of the bed. I suppose I could sit cross legged.

But. I don't. I don't do that anymore.

There's a lot of things I don't do anymore. I haven't played Lego for a long time. You know one of the things I used to like to do.

And I'm talking right. This is one of my favorite things. I've never told anyone.

Is. I used to have. I'm just going to have a quick drink.

I had. I used to wake up in the morning. And I have many times I've woken up.

And. I had. I think.

A box of. Soldiers. Like little.

Not soldiers as in like. Boiled egg. Soldiers like.

Old bits of toast. That would be weird. But these were.

Like action figures. But little ones. Kind of.

Trying to think. Size wise. So.

Yeah. I'm not good of inches. Probably 20.

About 20 inches. Yeah. And.

They were. So I used to kind of like pretend fight with them. But do.

Do the whole kind of dialogue. Between them. Like have a. Like a conversation between each character.

I was doing this. In my teens. You know I didn't.

You know I wasn't. I say was I? Was I? Yeah. Probably was.

You know this was probably. I was still doing it in my teens. And.

I was doing like Kung Fu on each other. And all that kind of stuff. And I was like building this.

They were like having these conversations. And I realised that. I can't still doing it.

I do that a little bit with these. These recordings. And have these conversations.

Between. Well me and me. And.

It's just something that I was used to do. But like proper. And I do it even when I'm on my own.

I have conversations with Andre. And I put on a voice for him. He's like that.

My name is Andre. Hello. I love you daddy.

This is some silly voice. It depends. And.

I have like in depth conversations. Is that strange or. It's hard to know isn't it.

I've lived on my own for so long. I'm not sure what is socially acceptable anymore. As far as.

What we're supposed to. How I'm supposed to behave. When I'm on my own.

I don't mean anything weird. It's just. I don't know.

I remember. And this is going back to. Probably 2012.

Maybe 2013 ish. And I remember I was watching. Television.

I don't know what it was I was watching. But I was eating. As well.

And I never had a table to eat at. While I was living in that little room. But I did have a chair.

So I used to pretty much just eat. Off my lap. And then I thought.

After a little while of doing that. I'm going to invest in a plate. So I got a plate.

So you know it just didn't. It cut down the amount of washing I had to do. Because I was getting through.

So many pairs of trousers. So it's. I remember I was watching television.

I don't know if it was the Wombles. Or Eastenders. Who knows what it was.

It could have been. It could have been anything. I mean I could just make it up.

You'll never know will you. But I don't know. I can't remember.

But I suppose. It was definitely. It was definitely a moving picture on the screen.

Of the television. Of some kind. And I was sitting there.

It might have been the afternoon. It might have been the evening. And it looked weird.

As I talk about it. And this room. That I lived in was really.

Not very nice. But I feel kind of a little bit nostalgic about it. And.

I've got so much more than I've ever had. Like my own flat. And space and.

Beautiful little lingerie and. You know. All the wonderful people that listen to my podcasts.

But. Just thinking back to then. Kind of.

It's weird isn't it. A little bit. Nostalgic about it.

But anyway I was sitting there. And I just became self aware. Because I've been living on my own since.

I was 16. So I'm now. As I said.

I'll be 39. At the end of this month. 39? Wow.

I just. I just de-aged myself by a decade. I can't believe I'm getting.

Yeah. I'm going to be. Oh wow.

It doesn't even feel. I'm going to be 49. And that sounds strange.

Because I don't sound 49. Even I know that. I do not sound.

49. But I don't personally think I look 49. There's a particular.

Look. For someone that's 49. But.

Because I shaved all my hair off last night. Or was it this morning. Or was it this afternoon.

Or was it this evening. It was sometime. I think it was.

Yeah. Before I had a bath. So.

I normally have my monthly bath. Around the first week of the month. So yeah.

You should see at the end. It's like. It's amazing.

It's like I'll have a bath. The monthly bath. And I'll get out and.

I look at the water and it's all brown. It's like twigs. Literally twigs in there.

Like you know half a cabbage. It's like where's all this stuff come from? It's like a. It's basically like a broth. Like you know.

Nah. Once a month. That's a joke.

I would never have a bath that regular. And. So I shaved all my hair off.

Of my head. And if you want to have a good laugh. Go onto my YouTube channel.

Because there's. I did a Jason Chats. Yesterday.

Last night. And just. It's like an update of what's going on.

With the. Podcasts and. My new app is ready as well.

I don't know if I mentioned this. My Deep Sleep Whisper app. Is now live and active.

So. And. But yeah I'm bald.

Absolutely. To the bone. Baldy.

Proper baldy. And. My hair.

My hair grows really quickly. So if. I don't know if you remember.

There's a thing you used to be able to get. And it was. If I remember rightly.

It was like a. It's like a little head. And you could put. Plasticine into it.

And then you could press a button. And. The hair would all just like.

Pop out. Like big strands of hair would pop out. That's what my hair is like.

It's like plasticine. No. It just grows quickly.

And I was talking to a friend. The other night. And he said.

Everybody's hair grows exactly the same amount of length. Generally. But he said of course there's always exceptions to the rule.

And I said I think I am. I think I am an exception. Because.

My hair seems to really grow quickly. As in. Because I've got thick hair.

And I don't mean intellectually. I'm not putting my hair down. But.

It's my dad's job. No. I don't.

I've just got really. It's like the opposite to fine hair. If that makes sense.

It's kind of. It doesn't get clotted. I don't mean like clotted cream.

I mean. It doesn't get tangled. Although it used to.

When I had long hair. When I was about. 21.

21. 20. No I was 20.

No 20. It was 1991. And I think.

The January or the February. Or the March. Maybe the February.

I decided to grow my hair long. Which meant going through a period of having. Sideburns that just.

Stuck out and. You know I'd struggled to get through doorways. It was you know.

I'd end up like. Causing structural damage. To buildings.

Because my hair would stick out everywhere. So. I did what a lot of people do.

Is I wore a hat. Because that's a great way to. Well if you don't want to wash your hair.

You can wear a hat. If you want to keep your head warm. You can wear a hat.

Hats are actually really good for various different things. If you want to disguise yourself. I suppose you could wear a hat.

Why would you want to disguise yourself. But. You know.

I don't remember what kind of hat I had. I think. It was like a leather cap.

And I used to wear it. And I used to. Until my hair was long enough.

To put into a ponytail. And it did grow quite quick. Because.

By the end of 1991. My hair was. In a ponytail and was long.

It wasn't. It wasn't right the way down to the middle of my back. Was where it did end up being.

But it was long enough to put into a like a ponytail. So it was all like pulled back. And then.

During 92. And 1993. And most of 94.

I had long hair. Like really long. And.

In the summer of 94. I say the summer. Probably.

July. Probably time. June.

July. Maybe August. I. Had it cut.

Had it all cut off. Not. I didn't go bald.

But I had something go bald. I didn't go bald this time. I shaved it off.

I actually went into the garage earlier. The lady there said. Oh.

What's happened to you. I said I don't know. I just woke up.

And it was just all gone. She said really. I said no.

She said oh. A bit of an awkward silence really then. I think either of us knew what to say next.

I didn't even have a. Have a. Fart. Waiting. You know sometimes you can break the ice can't you.

Let off a little fart and. Everyone kind of feels better about themselves. But.

And. What happened. I was with this kid.

And. He let me go on his. Cycle.

Well scooter. And I think it was really cold. And what I did is.

I put one foot on it. I put all my weight on it. And I ended up on my back.

Literally I fell. It pushed me back. And I. Fell on my back.

Luckily. I don't know how I managed to do it. I didn't bash my head.

So. I think my. The coat I was wearing or.

Just. My big fat back. I don't know.

Something stopped me from. My head. So it was luckily.

Not stopped me from my head. It's not really a sentence is it but. I didn't hurt myself.

But it's like. Well I might have hit my head. I don't remember.

Either way. I don't think the kid should be a paramedic. Because he couldn't stop laughing.

It wasn't so much embarrassing for me. A bit painful. But.

I no longer wanted. Or needed. Or intended.

Or dreamt about. Getting on one of those scooters ever again. And now Andre's come in.

It's probably time to end the recording. So yeah I was in this room. Watching television.

Just talking about going back to. Living on your own and. What kind of things.

What you notice about yourself. I realised. I'd never noticed before.

That I was eating with my mouth open. I don't mean. You have to.

Like really. Because you know when. When I was a kid.

I'd get told. Don't eat with your mouth open. I'd say.

Well how am I supposed to get the food in there then. I don't mean that way. I mean literally I was like.

And. It kind of worried me. Because I thought.

If I ever actually do go on a date. A romantic. Rendezvous.

Imagine if I kind of forget myself. And I start. Picking my nose.

Or. Scratching my balls. Or.

You know. Eating with my mouth open. Or.

Because you know sometimes. I shouldn't really tell you this. Sometimes.

When I go to the toilet. I'm kind of ready. I start.

Undressing. Start get. Taking my trousers off.

Or. Take you know. Unzipping.

Before I even get into the bathroom. You can't do that in a restaurant. So yeah.

It's kind of. Re-learning. Social etiquette.

I suppose. Anyway. Thank you for listening.

I love you all. And. I shall be back again.

Very soon. And Andre's having a good old munch of his dindins. See you later.

And remember. To be gentle with yourself. Not just kind.

But also gentle. Because. We should treat ourselves the way that we treat.

The most precious person in the world. Someone that we love. Really deeply.

Like a parent. A child. Grandparent.

A pet that we love. Something that's precious. There's nothing more precious than you.

So be gentle with yourself. Speak to you next time. Bye bye.

Bye bye.