#155 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (23rd May 2019) - letmeboreyoutosleep.com

Hello and welcome to LetMeBoreYouToSleep.com My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes. And just to let you know that this podcast is available to listen to, to download on iTunes, Spotify, TuneIn, Stitcher, or other ones.

CastBox, the main, well basically all of my podcasts are available on Spreaker, all of them, all 33 I think there are. And I upload, or update rather, the website, the LetMeBoreYouToSleep.com every time I release a new recording. And my main website is jasonnewland.com where everything I do is available.

That's a lot of information isn't it? Also, oh there's more, there's more, there is more. I've also got other sleep podcasts that you may like to listen to. One is called Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis.

The podcast for that is DeepSleepWhisper.com, rather that's the website. And another one is a weekly one I do, every Friday, which is called Sleep Hypnosis Weekly. Very original name, but that's SleepHypnosisWeekly.com, that's the website for that.

I've also got a couple of other podcasts, I've got lots actually, but I've got a couple of podcasts where every single insomnia session or sleep session that I've made is on, one is Sleep Deeply with Hypnosis. So these are things you can Google, if you just put my name into Google, Jason Newland, or Jason Newland Hypnosis, or Jason Newland Sleep, lots of stuff will come up. I'm all over the shop, I am everywhere.

I think it must be quite annoying for, there's a couple of people with the same name as me, and I'm the, if you put my name into Google, I'm the one at the top. And I'm the one that takes up the most space. But there's a doctor on there, and he's a paediatrist, and he's basically, he's a doctor looking after children, and really he should be at the top.

But I am, so there you go, but there's also a cage fighter, like a UFC something, and he's got the same name as me as well. So, it must be, I don't know, I'm not supposed to, I suppose everybody Googles themselves, I know I do, but I just like to see what's coming up, and this is my life, so I'm constantly online checking to see where I'm ranked. It's a weird word isn't it, rank, ranked, and just to see what pictures are on there, what images.

This image, this image is from me from 2006, it's a black and white picture of a video that I did which is on, is it Dailymotion, it's a video site, I don't think, like three people use that website now, but I've got, you know.

Isn't it amazing that YouTube is dominated, absolutely dominated, video, online, YouTube, there was a time, and you may remember this, but going back, you know, it's not that long ago, but there was a time when there was lots of video sites, loads, and I suppose, you know, they were trying to compete with YouTube, they saw that YouTube was popular, and loads of video sites where, you know, I was uploading my hypnosis videos everywhere, and one by one they just closed, the websites closed, or they're just there but no one uses them, be like MySpace, you know, MySpace was brilliant, personally I think it was better than Facebook for people that were producing videos and music and, you know, MP3s like myself.

And there was a great community, very, a lot of support, quite a positive place actually, I found, because I actually remember when I first uploaded a video, and it was, I think it was like a relaxation, 20 minute relaxation video, this is possibly 2006 or 2007, I forget.

And probably 2006, and I wasn't sure whether to do it because there were no other hypnosis videos on there, as far as I was aware, but most of the videos were music videos, you know, bands and singers and stuff. So I thought, oh, I wonder if it's okay to post the hypnosis video. So I did, I uploaded it, and I got loads of positive feedback, and people were sharing it, and I ended up getting about 10,000 views of the video within quite a short time.

And I was like, wow, this is brilliant. And yeah, I think, I think I had about 50,000 followers or friends, I don't know what they were called on there. Like at the height of, well, the height, I mean, to be fair, as soon as Facebook came into being in, what was it, 2007, when it started getting popular, MySpace sort of slowed down quite a lot.

And I still stayed on there for a few years, and MySpace is still up and running, I think, but I think it is, it might not be, I'm not sure. Last time I went on there, they still had my, some of my stuff on there, some MP3s, some audios that I'd made, which I've forgotten all about. But then, of course, Facebook, you know, great tool for people keeping in touch, I suppose.

I was going to use the word communicating, but after 13 years of reading people's posts, I'm not sure if communicating is the right word. I think miscommunicating seems to be quite often the case, including myself as well. I've made a few faux pas along the way with Facebook, misjudged a few situations, said the wrong thing.

But, you know, I'm not that bothered. I only really use Facebook to, I've only ever really used it to promote the free hypnosis service. But along the way I've made a few friends as well, which has been nice.

But most of those people are living in other countries. But then in some ways, you know, even people living in this country are still a long way away, some of them. But, you know, there's some people that are just, I don't know, I can't even, I felt like I got to know them a bit by reading their posts.

But in reality, I don't really, I suppose. But, yeah, it's a weird one, isn't it? I mean, I have a rule, and it's upset some people along the way, is no family or friends on Facebook. Like real life, you know, people that I see or people that I have, their phone numbers on my phone.

And some people really take it personal when they get deleted or unfriended, even though I've still got their telephone number. And they've got my telephone number. And they don't, some of them didn't really understand why I took them off.

But it's sort of a personal thing. I like the, I suppose, you know, you've got your friends. You know when you're at school, and you've got your friends at school, and it's nice to have that.

And then you go home, and it's a separate thing. Or you've got your friends at work. And then you've got your real, not your real friends, but you've got your friends that maybe you've known for a long time.

Maybe you've stayed in the same town most of your life, so you're still friends with people from school. You've grown up with them. But then you've made new friends at your job.

But there, it's a completely different bunch of people, you know, it's separate. So I like that, I like things to be separate. And, I don't know how, it might sound a bit weird, but I don't actually, I don't really want my family listening to my recordings.

Because, I don't know, I don't know why really. It's just, in some ways, those of you that listen to these, and have been listening to me, maybe for years and years, perhaps actually know more about me than my own family do. Because although I do talk a lot of rubbish during these recordings, purposely, I also do open up, or have opened up about, you know, my life and my dreams and, you know, a few silly stories of the past.

That perhaps family and friends don't know about. Because I like to keep friends separate from each other. Apart from anything else, it stops gossiping.

Because, the way I see it, if I've got a friend, he or she should only know what I tell them about me. I don't feel that they should know, have other information that they've been told by someone else. It might seem a bit strange, actually.

But I can't always kind of be in that way. I just prefer it. I like the idea of just having separate friends, a separate kind of relationship.

It sort of seems a bit more special that way. Yeah, I've not really ever been a group person. You know, the whole everybody knowing everyone else's business.

Yeah, not really my thing. Plus, I'm not interested either. Which can cause problems sometimes.

Because I think some people expect others to be interested in what they're saying. It's not that I'm not interested in what they're saying. But the importance of what they're saying is, it ends as soon as they stop talking.

I'm not kind of thinking about it afterwards. Because, you know, so much is, you hear a story, and you only get one side of the story. And that, in some ways, is a good thing.

In some ways, as long as I don't take it too seriously, what they've said. Someone said to me once, they said, well, isn't it? Isn't it important to know if the person's telling the truth or not? I kind of think, well, does it matter? You know, we human beings have the ability to elaborate, to exaggerate. And to kind of, you know, maybe see things from a certain perspective.

Yet the other person, who is maybe involved in that particular interaction, may have a very different story to tell. And I find when you know both the people involved in the story, you get to hear both sides of the story. It's a very different story.

And they both may expect you to take sides and to believe what they're saying. Which is very hard when they're both telling different stories. And they both seem to believe their version of those stories.

So luckily, because it doesn't affect me, I don't get involved with those situations. So I'm quite lucky in that way. There is one thing though.

What is it with WhatsApp? I don't like WhatsApp. There's something about it. It's not the same as Facebook, it's organised differently.

And I don't, not, it just doesn't do it for me. And I am on WhatsApp. And my dad's been going on for months and months about joining WhatsApp and being part of the family WhatsApp group.

So I did it in the end. And that seems to be the only way they want to communicate. Which then means I'm doing what I didn't want to do originally, which is communicate online in a vague Facebook-y kind of way.

Instead of one-on-one communication, as in a telephone call or a text, which is personal one-on-one. So I keep coming off of WhatsApp. I'm still on there, but I just delete the app.

Then a few days later I'll go back on. And I see that I've got missed messages. But I just, I don't really, I don't know if people like it.

It's kind of, I suppose it's kind of like having a personalised Facebook. You know, by having a group where, you know, you've got a specific number of people. And just, I don't know, just not, not really my thing.

Which is okay, because I don't think it was developed for me. I don't think I was even thought about when the particular app was created. And it's a great app, you know, for what it is.

But it's just, it's not my bag of chips, you know. It's not my thing. It's not something that I enjoy.

I just, I think some apps are okay. You know, I don't know, like I've got a radio app, which is the LBC Radio app. And I listen to that, because it's on my phone.

And it means that when I'm at my laptop, early hours of the morning, I can have the radio on, on my phone. But it's a low volume, so that I can hear it without having to turn my television on, which would be at a larger volume. So as I, you know, don't disturb the neighbours or anything like that.

I don't want them thinking I've got a party going on. Just in case you're wondering, LBC is a talk radio channel. And they just have different, like lots of different conversations and discussions and arguments and, you know, all kinds of things.

Debates. So I quite, I do like it. The first time I listened to LBC was, when was it? I think it was 1991.

And I used to listen to the radio on my Walkman. As I walked to work early in the morning. I remember that.

And listening to LBC. Listening to the news and the conversation and it was about 30 minutes walk from my home to the work. And sometimes I'd walk especially slowly because I was interested in what was being discussed.

But other times I'd walk a bit faster. And not, you know, not because the conversation was not to my taste, but just because perhaps I'd got out of bed a bit later and needed to get to work, you know, I didn't want to be late and because sometimes I would wake up a little bit later than others. Sometimes I'd wake up earlier I mean, I went through a period when I would wake up really early, like five o'clock in the morning and I didn't have to be at work until half seven.

I think was the time I started. And it was really good because I'd just be full of energy and I used to watch television because I don't know what channel it was on, if it was BBC2 or Channel 4 because at that time England only had four channels, four television channels. We had BBC1 which I think was the first ever television channel in England.

Then BBC2 ITV which is a I don't know what you want to call it, it's a commercial television channel so there'd be advertisements or advertisements and then Channel 4 which was the last yeah, Channel 4 was the last one that was introduced at that time and I think Channel 4 was launched in 1982 or something like that so before that there was only three channels BBC1 BBC2 and ITV and then Channel 4 came along and then in 1997 Channel 5 came along and I remember the launch of Channel 5 because the person who hosted the

launch was a friend of mine called Tim Fine he's a comedian and he's someone that I've known for, well I've known him since about 1991 and I saw him do his first ever gig at a comedy club and kind of just got to know him over the years and he's a really nice bloke haven't seen him for a long time but it was exciting to see him on television and he was basically the face of Channel 5 he had about three television shows on there and yeah it was quite exciting because I don't remember the

launch of Channel 4 but I do remember the launch of Channel 5 although saying that yeah we did have other channels but they were satellite channels so in the early 90s possibly before that even we had Sky which was like a satellite dish was required and there was a bunch of channels and I suppose a lot of them were perhaps from America I really don't know because I didn't actually have access to watching anything from Sky until 1997 where I lived in a house where my landlady had Sky and they had a satellite or something

I don't know I guess you must have had a satellite dish and they had Sky 1 which was the main Sky channel, television channel and I remember there used to be wrestling on there and there may have been Sky movies and I don't remember because I didn't get an opportunity to watch it very often really I remember I used to when they went on holiday a couple of times a year I would look after the house I was living there anyway but I was, you know, I had an opportunity to sit in the living room

and watch television instead of sitting upstairs of my bedroom watching television and it was lovely anyway it was so lovely to be able to just sit down on a sofa watching a big coloured television with all those channels to choose from instead of just the normal 5 BBC 1 BBC 2 ITV Channel 4 and Channel 5 and I used to just sit there and watch, I think the movies and I had I think MTV and that was the days when MTV actually had music videos on because it does stand for Music Television doesn't it?

MTV Music Television I think it should perhaps be renamed to maybe KTV or maybe Kardashian's Television or 16 and Pregnant TV or Rap Battle TV or just basically anything like Reality TV ish it's a little bit of a for me it's a little bit of a shame because I used to enjoy just relaxing and watching the videos and sometimes if I was a bit tired and just maybe relaxing my eyes I'd listen to the song and to the music because that's one of the benefits of watching a music video because even though you have your

eyes closed you can still enjoy the song and it's it's still pleasure to be gained from that experience and of course that's not always the case for every television show I mean for example watching snooker or darts or tennis isn't quite the same with your eyes closed although it is relaxing I like snooker not particularly as a game necessarily but I like the calmness of it you know that like the soft voices talking it's practically a whisper at times and now they're hitting the ball 180 or whatever the snooker thing is and tennis as well

of course there's a bit of grunting that goes on but it seems to be quite good natured tennis seems to be you know the audience seeming quite in a good mood which I think comes across whilst watching tennis however I don't understand the rules of tennis I kind of do and I kind of used to because when I was young we had Bjorn Borg Connors and McInglo and they were all these massive superstars Bjorn Borg was a superstar because at that time I think he was the most successful tennis player ever at that time but

of course others have come and succeeded like much further than he did what's his name I forget his name but he's won every tournament about 500 times and then there was McInglo oh yeah loved McInglo it was just so good to to be able to sit with the family and laugh at an adult having a tantrum as a kid as a child it was wonderful to have the opportunity to laugh at an adult having a tantrum because I suppose like most children growing up they see adults having tantrums quite often like their own parents having

tantrums and getting angry but the child's kind of not allowed or supposed to laugh in their faces even though even as a small child you can see the absurdity of the situation so McInglo for me gave me an opportunity to release some of that laughter let's say it wasn't always laughter it was a mixture of laughter and feeling sorry for him and other adults that weren't able to have any self control acting like children but with adult bodies I found that quite funny I kind of still do seeing adults have tantrums but I suppose we're

all able to have them at times oh what's that I'm just watching television as I speak to you it's on mute so I'm not sure what's being said there's a man poking his finger he looks really happy now there's a lady there a Roxy customer review Roxy, not sure what that is I think it's an advert for something she doesn't look like an actor her facial expressions look quite as if they're real she's got really happy tens of millions of songs Roxy I wonder what that is and this little stick that they're talking into you

can get them in different colours, red or black and they're talking to them, I don't know what they're saying oh there's a blue one now hundreds of playlists, oh now there's a lady doing yoga I'm not quite sure how that fitted in no it's whenever they show ladies doing yoga always extremely flexible and fit they always look very slim never had anyone like me doing yoga on adverts imagine me in a leotard bending over trying to do the quarter lotus or whatever it's called the cucumber roll Florence Nightingale pose whatever that is I did go

to yoga once I did, I went to yoga and it was in a Buddhist centre back in 19, no it was 2003 probably about November, no about December time I went along and the place was full of women apart from me being the only man other than the man that was hosting the event or the teacher and I noticed whilst I was stretching out on the mat I seemed to be the only person who he wasn't touching and you know he didn't push down on my hips or he didn't like try and stretch my arms

or anything like that and I was like excuse me Mr.

Teacher and he said what's that and I said well I was wondering if you were going to touch me as well he said what he seemed quite shocked I said yeah I was wondering if you could maybe touch me my lower back feels so so in need of a little bit of TLC he said I don't touch people the ladies looked up at each other took turns at looking at each other actually queued up one person walked along looked at each other and then they got in a queue the next one at the end of

the queue started looking at each other it was very organised and everybody knew what I was talking about and I thought things were going quite well I thought you know what I am now a what's it called not a womaniser a woman's liber is it liberator not pesticide what's the word not socialist not anarchist not Nazi what's the word women's rights suffragette so I realised that I was a suffragette and I felt quite good about myself I thought you know what after doing this we need to get women the vote I didn't realise I said

it out loud because the lady next to me said oh we've already got the vote I said are you sure she said yeah I said yeah but how do you know she said we have a female prime minister Mrs Thatcher and I said was that a woman I thought Margaret was perhaps just one of those names that could be used for men and women she said what I said yeah some names just like I couldn't think of one it's one of those times isn't it where you can't think I said it's like Gary she said

no Gary's definitely a man's name Tracy no that's oh wait a minute no that is a woman's name I said yeah but you had a little bit of doubt there didn't you and she said yeah I was thinking of Spencer Tracy the male actor but that was his surname I said ah I said what about Al she said Al was obviously a man's name I said no it might not be she said yeah Al Alf, Alfred Alfonso Alfredo Alan I said ah but what about Alice and she said ah you just thought of that didn't

you I said yeah I know she said that was quite a good save I said no I'm quite pleased with myself I was hoping something would come up she said you seriously can't think of any other names that men and women have I said no I can't and she said what about Sam Sam yeah Samuel Samantha what about Pat Patrick, Patricia Patricia ok fair enough I don't know I just didn't really give it that much thought I wasn't intending to expand this this story really to the point of having a conversation about men and women's

names well where did you expect it to go to what were you what were you hoping for I don't know I was hoping to do some kind of a fart joke and she said why I said well in the actual event you know because this is based on a true story and I actually was in a room full of women with a male and he was you know giving all the attention to the women and touching their shoulders and their hips and stuff like that and he didn't come anywhere near me but I did let

off a really really bad fart I mean it was it's one of those things isn't it it's bad if it's in public but it's good if it's at home you know that's a fart I'd have been proud of if I hadn't been surrounded by not just anyone really but just by humans although sometimes I do fart a bit too much and Andre literally comes up to me and says dad will you please just go to the toilet and he's a ferret and you know what I mean to get told that you stink by a ferret

is out of order don't you reckon and she said to me well yeah I suppose I didn't realise we were still talking I said we're not really though are we she said what do you mean I said well it's just made up isn't it it's just me it's you know you don't exist she said what I said okay I'm sorry to break it to you but you don't you know you're just an imaginary character inside my brain at this precise moment she said how can you tell I said don't go there how can I tell

have you not noticed that we both sound the same not to me we don't ah okay in that case what are you doing at the weekend what do you mean what am I doing at the weekend well I just thought maybe if you fancy we could go out somewhere she said what like where what do you mean go out what go and stand on the pavement no I mean it might involve standing on the pavement at some point to get to where you're going unless you can fly okay she said well I did have flying

lessons when I was younger I said no I was just joking I was being silly she said what do you mean I said that time it's okay so um yeah we could go out and she said well just before we go any further um I'd like just to remain friends if that's okay I said what she said well I like you and all that but I'd like to you know if we can just be friends you know go out as friends and you know just have some fun but uh and that's it just nothing more

maybe go out and play hopscotch or go and buy some popcorn why would I want to buy popcorn I don't know I just someone told me you like popcorn well yeah I imagine everybody likes popcorn and she said wait a minute let me stop you there not everybody likes anything I said what on earth are you talking about she said nobody likes everything we're all different you can't generalise like that not everybody likes everything well I know not everybody likes everything I didn't say everything I just said popcorn she said what about the people that

don't like popcorn well I wasn't included in them was I anyway I heard what you said the other night about popcorn I didn't like it sigh sigh I was just trying to give an analogy between something very tiny becoming something a lot bigger you know like pop corn she said yeah but it was just didn't didn't like what you said come on I wasn't I was just saying pop corn it expands like goes pop which is quite a funny quite a quite a funny sound isn't it she said yeah but when have you ever seen

popcorn go pop well I haven't personally seen it I've seen it on television you know I've only ever bought popcorn that was already popped well how do you know it goes pop then how do you know it doesn't true I don't okay let's go out and have a relationship then I don't know if I want to now what do you mean you just won me round with all your charm and knowledge and now you say you don't want to I won you round yeah with all your sophistication and intelligence I realised that you're the one

you're the one that I want one that I want ooh ooh ooh you're the one I need oh yes indeed you know I've got chills and multiplying and multiplying and I'm losing control of the power it's multiplying it's electrifying you better shake up because I need a man all my heart is set on you you better shake up you better understand to my heart you must be true ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh you're the one that I want one that I want ooh ooh ooh you're the one that I want one

that I want ooh ooh ooh the one I need oh yes in deed ooh ooh ooh I might write a book of poetry but you didn't think that sentence was coming did you if you're still listening I like eated elephant on toast that's another thing you wouldn't have thought I was going to say I like to bathe with a jar of peanut butter so now the image of me lying in the bath with a jar of peanut butter just floating at the other side of the bath smiling and now I'm going to go and upload

this so that you can enjoy the boredom of my voice bye