#139 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (29th April 2019)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You to Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Not quite sure why I did it so high.

Jason Newland. Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes. And I do have a Facebook page devoted to this Let Me Bore You to Sleep thing which you can search.

Basically just put in Let Me Bore You to Sleep into Facebook and search for it and it will come up. And there's a few people have liked the page and are following so you can, it gives you an opportunity to contact me if you wish to do so. Right, what should I talk about today? I've been trying to do these sessions daily.

The thing is earlier on I just felt so tired. I was too tired to make a sleep session and I was listening to Kiss Stewie which is a radio station it's basically Kiss radio but it's some of the older dance tunes from probably the 90s, 2000s and later as well. I was just laying back in my big black squeaky chair and oh it was bliss, really really nice.

I was listening to it and I fell asleep and I had a really weird dream but it was just nice you know and I think I woke up at half 12, 20 past 12, something like that and I don't know what time it was that I laid down, well laid down but laid back in the chair. Must have been for about an hour maybe longer. Yeah it's nice.

I'm not laying all the way back now. I could still fall asleep so I try and keep myself awake. We've all been there haven't we? You know when you're trying to keep yourself awake maybe you've been up all night and you've gone to school or work or you're sitting, I remember years ago or at university trying to sit through a lecture or just trying to keep my eyes open.

I went to work once after, it was actually a work due so everybody was hung over I think and I went into work and I was wearing sunglasses, dark sunglasses pretty much all day and I had my eyes closed. No idea what I was typing on the screen because I was asking people questions on the phone and I don't even remember what I was doing. I don't think I sold much that day.

I shouldn't have gone into work the next day. It's just hard you know if everybody's doing the same thing and if you do a Sikhi people know because they're in the same position. So yeah I think I might have had a sausage roll in the morning and lots and lots of water and coffee.

So I thought maybe I'll just tell a story, a story of a man called Bob and he decided he was in the bath having a nice soak. Sometimes he'd have a shower but you know today he decided it'd be a nice bath and he just moved away from London and he was just soaking his balls and because he had some juggling balls that used to get a bit crinkly and flaky so he used to like to soak them in the bath while he had a bath and he used to do that sometimes.

He used to also, he was soaking his knob because there was a doorknob that it had a bit of, I don't know what it was, he wasn't sure what it was that had it on it because the doorknob could come on and off it just didn't, it wasn't attached but the pole, where the doorknob went inside the door it was quite, it went in quite a long way so it didn't have the, like it didn't screw so it didn't have the doorknob but it didn't screw so the knob didn't screw into the door, into the

hole and he was just sitting there thinking maybe it's a bit unhygienic to be having so many different items in his bath while he was there, you know, what if he sat on one by accident?

The last thing he wanted to do was a knob up his bum, not the last thing, I mean I imagine imagine getting the knob and the balls all the way up there, that'd be, how do you explain that?

So and also the hospital that he had was just a little hospital I say he had, he actually owned a hospital, he um, it's a long story basically, I won't bore you with the whole of the story about how he came to own a hospital but it started when he was about five and he, he had a very, very, I don't know, it seemed I suppose weird to other five-year-olds, but he really liked surgery, a real kind of little interest or a big interest in surgical procedures and he said to his parents, decided I want

to be a surgeon and they were saying oh that's lovely, I'm gonna go out and play with you, with you, with your brothers and play a swing ball and hit each other with sticks, you know, just normal stuff and he said what do you mean, I understand that bit, why did you say just normal stuff?

Well you don't seem to really participate in a lot of those things and how come you don't hit anyone, any of your brothers with stinging nettles on their legs? I said, he said, I said, it wasn't me, he, the Bob said, five-year-old Bob said that would be cruel wouldn't it? Why would I enjoy the suffering of others? And parents, the parents didn't really know sort of how to, how to respond, so they said okay, well this is about a surgery then and his brother came in just as he was about to tell them, his brother said and then just walked out again and they all just looked as his brother walked back down the garden and looked through the window, obviously they didn't have x-ray vision and trying to figure out what was that all about?

And they said, Bob, do you know what that was about? And Bob said, I know as much as you do, I've been here the whole time with you, how would I be privy to, to things that are happening outside of my awareness? Awareness?

I can only tell you what's happening in this room whilst we are communicating and again the parents went quiet, not really sure what to say and Bob said, well listen there, listen, I've decided I'm going to be a surgeon and that's it, okay, well you know, that's great, I mean we all, you know, we all, when we're five, we all like to do things, I personally wanted to be an astronaut and your mum wanted to be a housewife so at least one of us got our dream and Bob's mum looked at Bob's dad and it

was a look that Bob had never seen before, it was a very distorted facial expression that she presented towards him, towards her husband I guess and Bob thought, ah, something's going on there but he decided not to challenge the situation because first of all, it had no bearance upon the discussion at hand and secondly, he didn't care, so he said, well go on father, you were talking about accomplishments at a, you know, an older age or having dreams or ambitions at a, you know, five years old and his dad said, yeah, I wanted to be

an astronaut, he looked at his wife and he just didn't say anything more about her, he said and lots of people want to do things when they're five, they want to do different things and you know, it's a long way away before you're old enough to make those decisions for yourself and there's a lot, if you want to become a surgeon, there's a lot of work involved and Bob said, what do you mean?

He said, well if you want to do surgery and be a doctor and do operations, you know, it's going to take many, many, many, many years and Bob said, I'm five, I've got loads of years, his dad said, yeah, I'm not disputing your age or how long, you know, I don't know how long you're going to live.

Bob said, what? He said, what, you know, I mean, I'm not being morbid but you know, I don't know, you know, I don't know how long you're going to be around, I don't know, you know, no one knows. He said, well, what do you mean? He said, well, everybody, you know, at some point in their life, you know, passes away and hopefully it's a very old age and Bob said, well, what on earth are you talking about, father? He said, I'm talking about, you know, dying. He said, Bob said, what? People don't die.

Yes, they do, Bob. No, they don't. You're having a laugh.

No, no, they do. No, goldfish die but people don't. No, no, no, they really do.

But how? I'm not, I can't stand here and tell you every single possible scenario. Well, sit down then. No, what I mean is I'm not, can't go through every single possible reason for someone to become extinct.

But, you know, it's inevitable for all of us. He said, yeah, I've got loads of time and I don't think it will happen to me. Somehow, I think I'm going to be okay.

And his dad said, yeah, all right then. Okay. Remembering that he's just five, you know, and to be fair, he was hoping he could, well, break some of the other things, some of the other lies that you're told to him before that one.

You know, what's he going to do at Christmas? That's going to be a weird conversation. Anyway, he said to his dad, Bob said, well, I'm going to go and become a surgeon. And his dad said, yeah, but it's going to take a long, long, long, long time.

Why did you say it like that? What do you mean? Why did you say it's going to take a long time? Why did you do it in some kind of weird cartoon animation? Long, long, long, long, long time. That's just as if you're making fun of me. No, no, Bob.

No, no. I'm trying to make fun of you. Okay.

Well, anyway, it's not going to take me long. Why is that? Well, I'll just go to a country where you don't need many qualifications to do surgery. Yeah.

I mean, there are, there are places you'd go to where you kind of could do surgery without as many strict rules as they have here. That's what I'm going to do then. Yeah.

But don't you want to learn how to do it properly? Ah, what do you mean? Ah, well, properly really is just a word, isn't it? Well, Bob, yeah, properly is a word that has meaning like many words. Ah, Bob, what do you mean? Ah, I mean, ah, go on, carry on. Why didn't you say go on then? Ah, Bob, can you stop doing that, please? I'll tell you, Bob, if you keep at that, the conversation's over and you're going to be a milkman.

What's wrong with being a milkman? Nothing, but it's not being a surgeon, is it? No, Dad, but I think it's a bit wrong of you to, to be dismissive of someone that delivers milk. It's an important job and it's an important service. What would people have on their breakfast or in their tea or coffee? Well, you can get, you know, milk alternatives, can't you, Bob? Yeah, well, that's not the point though, is it? I think it's very callous of you to be so, ah, it's a bit bitter towards milkmen.

What's a milkman ever done to you? At that point, Bob's mum started laughing and left the room. Bob didn't really understand what was going on there. All he knew is his milkman was always very friendly to him.

But, I don't know, Bob just put it down to a fellow ginger-haired person getting on with each other. You know, he had ginger hair, the milkman had ginger hair, and they seemed to be a little bit like bored people sometimes, would wink at each other. And, well, you know, it's just, it's just having the commonality, isn't it? That sort of thing.

He thought that the milkman was a great guy. But for some reason, his father didn't. So, I don't know what his mum found so funny.

That's, that's what he thought. I don't know what, I don't know what, I don't know what she's laughing about. Anyway, he said, well, Dad, I'm going to become a surgeon, that's it.

You know, I've had enough of this discussion. You've dragged it on quite a bit. I mean, unless, unless when I walk out of this room, there's like, you know, into the garden, there's a big, massive party in my name.

And that's why you've been, you know, keeping me in the room talking. I'm going to be very disappointed. His dad said, oh, you got me.

Oh, you caught me out. Go on in the garden. That's a good boy.

So Bob went, he got excited, ran in the garden and there was nothing in there, just his brothers playing, hitting each other with baseball bats. He looked through the window at his dad and his dad was laughing as much as his mum now. Bob then decided, never is he ever going to do that to his own child.

He's never going to pretend that there's a party in the garden. And then he started thinking, when would a scenario like that even arise? Then he started thinking to himself, it's not the point. It's about respect.

It's about, you know, you need to just, he actually lost the words in his mind. He just couldn't think. He just thought, oh, I know what I'll do to get back at him.

One day I'm going to have a bath. With a knob and some balls. And he thought, well, how's that going to get back at my dad? And he thought, I don't care how.

It will somehow. I'll take a picture and I'll send it to all his friends at work. That made him chuckle a little bit.

So what happened is he decided, you know, he worked hard. He didn't go abroad to do that the way, because he was a bit, clearly a bit dismissive of the surgical practices of some other countries. Didn't realise that the medical profession is pretty much top notch everywhere.

So he just went through the process, but he was a child genius. And, you know, he'd finished university before he was nine. And then he went into the surgery course, or whatever you call it, became a doctor.

So by the time he was 14, he was a doctor, fully fledged doctor. And he also really liked jam. It's not necessarily relevant, but to him it was.

So yeah. And he built a hospital because he was so famous for being, you know, young and amazing. He built this hospital with the finances of an elderly gentleman who liked his company.

And the man financed it all with like millions of pounds or dollars or whatever it was, euros. And eventually the old man went away to the farm in the sky. And Bob inherited the hospital, because it was a private hospital.

It wasn't just a regular hospital, you know, run by the National Health Service or anything. It was private. So, you know, he was very careful.

He told about, didn't let anyone in, just those that he liked. Sometimes he'd stand on a door, a big metal door with like a slit in it. And if anyone knocked, he'd open the slit or the slot or slit, whatever you want to call it and say, who is it? A bit like the Wizard of Oz.

Say, what do you want? What's the medical emergency? What is it? No, the wizard's not in. He used to like saying that. And then he could hear them.

He'd close the eye slot thing and he could hear them crying. Then he'd say, I'm only kidding. It's not really the Wizard of Oz, it's the hospital.

Yeah, of course you can come in. And he'd get off his stool and he'd let them in and, you know, he'd do his magic. Of course, he wasn't a wizard, but he was a wizard in a sense of, you know, being a surgical wizard.

I mean, the amount of uh, practically everybody that came in for the first year of him practicing left without any tonsils or appendix, regardless of why they came in. Oh, they've got an ingrown toe now. Ah, it doesn't matter.

Because it is in his mind, you're better off without those things. Especially if you ever become a mountaineer. So get rid of it now.

Get rid of the stuff you don't need. So he was, uh, he felt it was like emotional baggage, having tonsils and appendix. And he was wrong.

But then, as I said, a few years later, he was lying in a bath and he thought, you know what? I want to join a circus. So he thought, I'm going to have to look into this. And he, you know, people talk about running away to the circus.

Well, you don't have to do that if you've got enough money to buy your own circus, which is what he did. He sold the hospital and bought a circus. He bought all brand new material, you know, all brand new stuff like a big tent or the big top.

He got it made specially. And there was a lot of extra expenses. It was more expensive than he realized.

He didn't, I suppose, he didn't know how much it was going to cost to set fire to all the other circuses' tents. But, you know, it cost a bit of money. But he, you know, he was really happy.

But then he was sitting in the port-a-toilet. See, that's Andre sneezing in the background. Shut up, Andre.

So he was, he had a little office in a port-a-toilet. It's basically just a portable toilet. And because you're traveling with a circus, you can't have toilets to connected to the sewage system.

Because that would mean adding thousands of miles worth of pipe while you're traveling. I mean, it's practically impossible. You have to travel.

You wouldn't be able to travel at any speed, would you? You'd have to keep stopping and starting and adding some more pipe. And yeah, that wasn't very practical. And he said to himself, well, actually he did have a person that worked with him.

It was his, like an assistant, stroke elephant. So it's, and he said, I like this, but I was hoping I'd be a bit more hands-on with the performing. Because all I'm doing is really just running the thing and keeping the thing afloat financially and doing the accounts and, you know, organizing for the other circus performers to disappear and, you know, just general stuff.

And I could like quite like to be a performer. That was pretty much my goal when I first decided to join the circus, which in hindsight probably would have been better if I'd just joined in a circus that's already up and running and learnt. I'd gone in for a few days and then learnt everything.

And then after a couple of weeks, then took over. Then I could do everything. Lion taming, trapeze, stilt walking, fire eating, clowning, and juggling, you know, whatever, the whole thing.

I probably mastered that within a few days. He said, what do you think? As I said, his assistant was an elephant, so he couldn't reply. Like this, he said, like that.

And I just, I just don't know what to do, he said. I just it's a bit boring, especially when there's no competition. And also the fact that circuses are just really, really, really out of fashion.

You know, you can't use live animals really much anymore unless you kind of don't tell anyone. It's just, it's not as exciting as I once thought. Again, the elephant went.

Bob looked at the elephant and he prodded. He saw a bit of metal sticking out of the elephant's neck. He pulled on it and the elephant all just crumpled and out ran a little horse.

It was a horse inside an elephant costume. He said, I thought that sounded like a horse. It didn't sound like an elephant at all.

And the horse said, now I know all your secrets. And Bob said, what? He said, now I know all your secrets. I'm going to tell the world.

Tell the world what? You know what? And then Bob started to get worried because sometimes he did sleep walk and sleep talk. And the only bit I missed out is he had a relationship with this little horse and well, it was the elephant. He thought it was the elephant, but clearly it was the horse.

And he'd tell the elephant things because he figured the bigger the ears, the better you could keep a secret. And that made sense to him. And it might've been something that his grandparents told him.

He could only really remember one thing his grandfather ever said and that was just get out of my wardrobe. And that was it. I would always start once I would get, was it because it's a bedroom or to get out of the wardrobe of the bedroom.

We're trying to sleep. Okay. Always an explorer.

Bob was. Always liked to search for things. To look and to find, to observe, to experience.

Had a very open mind, which I guess is what allowed him to fall in love with an elephant. And he loved that elephant. He loved it the way that you'd love a kangaroo.

It was that kind of closeness. He had no idea that he was being tricked by a little horse. And he said to the horse, you know what, I've got a question for you.

And the horse said, yeah, well, why are you covered in all that stuff? What's all that stuff that's all over you? And the horse looked at Bob and he said, you know what that is? And Bob started laughing. And then he had a flashback to when the horse just ran out of the elephant's bum. And initially he was annoyed, but then he realized it was quite a funny thing to see.

A little horse running out of an elephant's bum and he started laughing and he couldn't stop laughing. It was just, it's one of those situations where he didn't want to laugh, but he kept recapping it, rewinding it back to what made him laugh initially. And it got funnier and funnier.

It was very, very strange. And he said to the little horse, well, what do you want to do now then? The horse said, well, I think we should go our separate ways. And Bob said, well, good.

I think it should be a nice clean split. Nice and clean. And the horse looked at him and he said, seriously, I think that that boat sailed, don't you? And Bob started laughing again, kept thinking of the bum, the elephant's bum and the horse jumping out.

It was just, he couldn't get it out of his head. And because obviously it wasn't a real elephant, it was just a, like a big inflatable elephant. Come to think of it, it was made out of the same material as the big top tent.

Yeah, he always did like that big top tent. Had a hole at the top. I suppose it's, the big tops, a bit like wigwams, like very, very large wigwams.

But instead of sitting in them, keeping warm with your family, you'd be shouting at lions and juggling things. I don't know. Some jugglers can juggle all kinds of things.

Bob remembers, he recalls, he once saw a juggler juggling chainsaws and he wanted to put the emphasis on once. But it was definitely interesting why it lasted. He wasn't quite sure what to do next because he'd lost his enthusiasm about the circus.

And now that it seemed like he'd lost the love of his life as well, and all that was left was the, well, it's, I suppose really in a sense, it's like losing, having the best night of your life and then never seeing a person again and wanting to, but you don't and you're just left with a, with a filled condom. So I guess that's what he felt like. I suppose that's probably what the horse felt like.

But he thought, you know what I'll do? I could perhaps become a police man or woman, depending on how I feel. He said to the horse, what do you think about that? We could be joining the police force. And the horse said, why are you asking me? You think I care what you do? After what I've been through, what do you know if I'm going to give you career advice? No, I wasn't asking for career advice, just a bit of support.

Support? Support? You talk about support. Where was my support? Where was my support? When I was inside that elephant, eh? Where was my support? And Bob said, I don't know. Don't you have a phone? Have you got any friends? The horse said, look, yes, I do have a phone.

Bob said, I know you do. So I could hear it ringing sometimes. And the horse said, what? He said, yeah, I can hear it ringing.

I can hear you talking in there. In that case, you must have known that the elephant wasn't real. Bob said, no, he didn't say that.

I thought maybe he'd eaten a horse, but forgot to chew. And the horse somehow survived and was calling for an ambulance. And the horse thought, that is quite funny.

That's really silly. And the horse started thinking about the idea of being stuck in an elephant's tummy, calling for an ambulance. And the ambulance said, where are you? Well, I'm inside an elephant.

And the ambulance people saying, don't waste our time. We're not here for jokes. No, seriously, I'm inside an elephant.

He ate me, but he forgot to chew. The ambulance people have probably come out with something like, look, we all know the elephants don't eat horses. They like to eat apples, and tree stuff, things on trees, and hay, and apples, and they like to drink water, but they don't actually, you know, Bob used to think when he was a kid, that the elephant's thingy, the elephant's nose, the trumpet thing, was actually a straw.

Because you'd see on the wildlife programs, it sucking water up and then spraying it all over itself. And he thought, why, and then he saw it suck it up and then squirt it into its own mouth. And Bob thought, I wish I could do that.

And I was like, why doesn't he just suck it all up and just drink it? Why does he suck it up and then spit it back out again into his own mouth? It just seemed a bit weird to him, spitting in your own mouth seemed a bit weird. But then he realized, you know, as he got older, that the trunk isn't, it's a sucky thing, but it doesn't, clearly it can't go all the way into the water part of the tummy. And he started thinking about how he's missing his elephant life partner.

At this point, the horse looked at Bob and he said, guess what? Bob said, what? He said, there's something more that you don't realize. He said, what's that? And he turned around, faced the opposite way to Bob, pointing his bum towards Bob and a monkey ran out of his bum, little monkey. And Bob didn't know what to do.

The monkey said, see, it's me all along. And Bob said, Dave, I can't believe it's you. Dave said, yeah, I told you I'll get you back.

He said, yeah, I know you did, but blimey, this is pretty sophisticated stuff. And Dave said, yeah, I know, but when you got me with that toothbrush, you know, when I knew I had to get you back and I'll do whatever it took. So the toothbrush story basically is Bob and Dave, they worked together at the hospital a while back and Dave was decided to go on holiday.

He was going to go traveling for like six months or something like that. And Bob, you know, it was a big, they had a party and stuff to say goodbye because they were close. And Bob bought this big, like as a present, a goodbye present.

He bought him this big backpack and it had everything in it. It had everything that he'd need for like basic travel, you know, the sleeping bag, towels, soap, a water bottle, Vaseline, condoms, tampons, mousetrap, you know, egg, cheese grater, microwave oven, you know, just the basic stuff that was necessary, car battery. And he, you know, it was quite an inflatable crocodile, of course, you know, for when he went into the hotel.

Well, actually it wasn't just a hotel swimming pools. It was also the, when he went to the Nile, he thought it'd be really funny if he swam, you know, got an inflatable crocodile and just sat on it. And it was fun for a while, but then he fell off of it because, you know, it's, it's not, not the most sturdy they can kind of turn over because it was quite cylindrical.

So he gets back onto the crocodile and he's like, it's ridiculous. I should have got one that was a bit more scaly, a bit more, you know, sort of, sort of stayed afloat, stayed up, you know, so it was a different texture on the top than it was the bottom. And he thought, yeah, a bit like this.

He realized he was sitting on a real crocodile, but luckily that also fell, tipped over as well. So he managed to get back onto his other one. And that was a close call.

And the crocodile said, what do you say? And Dave said that, that, Dave the monkey, he said that, that was a close, close call. That's all it was saying. The crocodile said, well, you don't have to be sarcastic.

So I wasn't being sarcastic. I was just saying that, I'm just a bit embarrassed. That's all.

Why? You're embarrassed that you, you crawled onto my back. You're embarrassed that you chose me out of all the other crocodiles. What's wrong with me? What have you got a problem with me for? What have I ever done to you? And Dave, Dave the monkey said, no, no, no, come on, come here, come here.

And they had a little cuddle. And one thing led to another. And put it this way, there's a new species swimming around in the Nile.

Well, sometimes swimming, sometimes swinging from the trees, it depends. So what happened is Dave, when he got back, because part of his pack was, the gift that Bob gave him included a camera, like one of the old fashioned cameras that has filming that you can get developed in a shop. This is a while back.

I don't know if they still have them anymore. So it wasn't digital or anything. And so he came back, he developed the pictures, and he looked through them.

And he didn't realize that a couple of the pictures had already been took before he left. And that was a picture of Bob with a toothbrush that he gave to Dave to take with him. A toothbrush was up his bum.

And Bob was looking back, smiling, pointing to the toothbrush. So Dave had spent the last six months using a toothbrush to beam up Bob's bum. Now, Bob wasn't very happy about that.

I mean, of course, he had the romance, the holiday romance and, you know, a new family to show for it. But he still just, you know, couldn't let it go. So he decided he was gonna get his own back eventually.

So that's when he decided to hatch this plan. To, you know, get back at Bob. And it was actually Dave's advice and support and encouragement that led to Bob's, you know, getting into the hospital and investing in a circus.

And that's when Dave went through the transformation and, you know, managed to get himself implanted inside a little horse. And then got that horse implanted inside an elephant. And it was a very complicated process.

In fact, it was quite an uncomfortable three years. But it was worth it just to see the look on Bob's face. Because he was already looking.

Because before he popped out of the little horse's bum, he was looking through there. He was looking. He could see and he was giggling.

Dave was giggling to himself. Yeah, I can't wait for this. Plus, I'm going to be able to breathe properly again.

So that's a bonus. And he popped out and he just... the look on Bob's face was worth every bit of that. Whatever it was he went through, he didn't even have a word for it.

It was worth it. And now he could get back to his family. He could go and visit his, you know, go and see his kids and he couldn't wait to get back and cuddle up to his crocodile lover.

And Bob was just speechless. He's like, what? What was this all about? And Dave said, you know what it was about. And he said, well, he said it was about the toothbrush.

Yeah, this is a lot of work that you put into this. I mean, all I did was spend five minutes taking pictures of myself and, you know, with the toothbrush. Okay, it was a couple of hours, but I only took pictures before, you know, before I kind of got started.

But to be fair, I had five toothbrushes. I got through all of them apart from the last one. So yeah, you got lucky really.

How do you figure that out? Well, you got the toothbrush that had only been up there for a couple of minutes. If the first one hadn't broke, you'd have got one that had been up there for two hours. And Dave said, you know what, Bob, I don't think this story is appropriate.

Bob said, yeah, I'm not sure it is either. And Dave said, why? Why would you tell this kind of story? Like this whole elephant, little dog, monkey, crocodile, just this whole thing. Why would you, why? Why would you tell this story? And Bob said, I don't know.

I didn't plan to. It just happened. I really don't know where it came from or what to do with it.

And Dave said, yeah, but this is supposed to be a sleep session. What, you know, what the heck? Bob said, yeah, but hopefully they're falling to sleep. You know, what if they're dreaming, what if they're dreaming about monkeys jumping out of horses' bums and stuff? He said, no, they won't be.

It's about sleeping, not about dreaming. Mind you, yeah, that's the point. Oh, well, it's all meant in good fun.

And Dave said, you know what though, Bob, here's a bit of advice. What's that? Well, if you're gonna do something to humiliate somebody, then my advice is do something that they've never done themselves. So what do you mean? Dave looked him in the eyes.

He said, I always put my toothbrush up my bum every day. And then both Dave and Bob did a little bow to let everybody know that that was the end of the extremely healthy story. So that's the end of this Let Me Boy To Sleep recording.

And I will see you tomorrow with something different. Bye.