#130 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (16th April 2019)

Hello and welcome to LetMeBoreYouToSleep.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. So Andre has just picked up a little biscuit out of his... He's got this little bowl of cat, dry cat food, biscuits.

Sometimes he has ferret food, sometimes, you know, I kind of alternate it. And he picked one up and just dropped it in this big bowl of water, which was a bit strange. So yeah, this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Please only listen to this and you can safely close your eyes. I'm doing this a little bit earlier than normal. It's five minutes past 11 in the evening.

I have a tendency of recording these early hours of the morning. And I kind of wish I had now because Andre is ever so, ever so, ever so active for some reason. Hello? Can you hear him? He's just climbed onto me.

What do you want me? What are you doing? You want cuddles? Is that what you want? You want cuddle waddles? Yeah? No? You can have a cuddle. I just don't want you scraping against the microphone because I'm trying to make a recording. Yes, I am.

Yes, I am. I like to give him massages. So I massage down his spine and I massage his tummy gently.

You know, just in the same way you would a human being. Because I used to, I actually learnt how to massage humans. And just by gently like little presses and it helps to free up the organs and kind of massage in the back of his neck as well a little bit.

Just gently. Yeah, you like that? He liked it so much he's run off. When I said, you like that? He said, no, let go.

And he ran off. Now he's got into his bag to hide. I think he has conversations with that bag as well.

I think it's his best friend. I'm sure I heard him just say, went to the bag. So bag said, hi, Andre, you all right? He said, yeah, I've got to hide in here for a bit.

That bloke, that man, he's doing that massaging thing again. He's weird. A bit uncalled for though, isn't it really? It's healing, being touched is healing.

If it's in a loving way, just having human touch. I don't mean when you squash together on a train or a tube, underground train or something. That's not necessarily a healing experience, but yeah, I quite liked doing the massage course, but didn't lead anywhere in the end.

I didn't finish it. I didn't finish the year long course, but I did pretty much all of the actual massage part, but there were other parts to it. The reflexology, anatomy, which I wasn't majorly interested in.

And then there was the aromatherapy, again, mildly interested. And then there was the Indian head massage. So the anatomy was all the way.

It was the anatomy might have just been in the first bit. I'm not sure, but the massage started and then there's reflexology and then the aromatherapy kind of started as well. But it was very much focused on the massage.

But I quite like to, I wouldn't necessarily want to go back now, but it would have been good to have completed the course. I quite liked the idea because it was Swedish massage, I think it's called, that I was learning. I like the idea of working on a cruise ship, massaging people.

But the thing is, and those that have never done it probably won't, they won't realize, massaging someone, if you're doing it properly, it's really hard work physically. It's, especially when you've got like the white costume on, which I had to wear. And I suppose it depends where you, you know, it could be a different, a different kind of costume, depends where you work, I suppose.

But I massaged, I got a lot of people outside of the course to practice on. And some females, some men. And one of the people I did was, he was in charge of the gym that I went to.

And he was massive, he was actually just big, like a bodybuilder. And it was so much hard work because he was, he wanted me to go deeper. So, which I never thought, I never thought I'd be in a position where I had a, you know, practically a naked man laying on a, face down on a, like a table, shouting out, deeper, deeper.

It was, yeah, go deeper. So, but because he was so muscular, his muscles needed more, more work. And it was tiring.

I felt like I'd had a workout myself. And I was sweating, not just with him, but just whenever I did a massage, I'd be like sweating. So it's definitely very physical.

And there's lots of stretching, you know, so you kind of, you're, you're leaning over to, let's say if you're massaging the, if they're laying on their back, no, laying on the stomach and you're massaging like the bottom of, you know, where the spine, well, you know, the spine, most people have them and basically just above the hips from the lower back, moving upwards. There's, I forget what it's called now, but you lean over and you kind of massage and pull up the skin. It sounds weird.

You don't pull the skin up, but you kind of massage the skin up on the opposite side of the body. So you have to lean over and it's, it's okay if you were someone that's very slight of frame, but when you got a bigger person, especially this bodybuilder, but it would be the same with me as well, you know, it's, you probably need a ladder to get over my, because my belly would push me up to about, my bum would probably be hitting the ceiling, I reckon. And so I'm not that bad.

Although to be fair, I have lost some weight, but I had a picture taken of me last night with Andre, and he was wrapped in this orange towel and my friend wrapped him up and I thought he looked so cute. So I took a picture of him and then I thought, oh, please take a picture of me and him together. And he did, but there's, he did like a headshot with me and Andre, but then we also took a body shot as well.

And just seeing my belly there was, reminded me, well, I just, I deleted it because I uploaded it by accident onto Facebook and I deleted it because, it's weird because nobody that listens to me thinks I'm slim probably because I don't, I tell everybody and anyone that knows me knows that I'm not particularly slim, but I probably don't paint a very good picture of my, of myself, maybe physically, but I'm all right up to my ankles and that's where it kind of goes wrong. Now I've got quite nice legs, not nice, that's probably not the right word. And I suppose kind of just average legs, you know, my legs are okay.

I haven't got big legs. It's just really more upper body where I have it. And I've got no idea if I've got a big bum because I've never seen it.

I genuinely don't know. I'm not, I might be walking around the street, knocking people over by accident, knocking children out of their prams because my bum's wobbling all over the place, knocking people off their bikes, hitting people on the other side of the road when I'm walking. I don't know because I can't see it.

I can't see my bum. I don't know how big it is. You know, when I was younger, I had a tiny little bum.

You could say what we all did. We were babies, you know, I don't think when I was a baby, I mean, when I was even you know, early 20s, I was just very slim and I didn't have much of a bum at all really. And I kind of wanted to have more weight and I got my wish, but it wasn't quite the dream that I imagined.

It wasn't the wonderful experience I thought it would be. It was nice when it started, when I first started putting weight on, I felt so much stronger. I think I looked better facially as well because my face wasn't so skinny.

So I was quite, I think I got quite, potentially got quite a big head, but my face, my cheeks didn't really match it. But now my, you know, I haven't got as many chins as I used to have. I used to have, there have been times when I had about 17 chins, but now I'm probably down to about six.

So it's pretty good and I can live with that. Well, the doctor says that perhaps I can't live with that and I need to kind of reduce, my cholesterol is a little bit high as well, but I've started going to the gym. So, although I didn't go today, but I will go tomorrow, hopefully, because I'm planning, listen to this, I'm planning to go to sleep earlier tonight.

Because last night or it was this morning, I went to bed at 7am because I was working on my websites and I get caught up in it. I really do. I get really, really caught up in all the work involved and it doesn't really feel like work because I do quite enjoy it.

But I managed to get the freesleephypnosis.com website up and running. So that's now up and working. So that's got all my sleep stuff, not the, none of the courses I've done, none of the, Let Me Bore You To Sleep or the deep sleep, whispers, none of that stuff, just the actual standalone long sleep sessions, hypnosis sessions.

And there's, I think it's about 44 and most of them are about an hour or so, some are a little bit less, but they, yeah, that's kind of, I'm surprised I haven't made more. I have made more, but I lost a few over the years. But so that website's going to be, I'm just going to leave it there and then people can come along and find it.

So I'm kind of pleased in a way with the websites. So I've got the letmeboilyoutosleep.com, which is this one. Let's see if I want to go the deepsleepwhisper.com, which is for the Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis podcast.

I've got 73 or 74 recordings on there and I'll be making some new ones as well, starting either today or tomorrow. Well, it'll be tomorrow now. And there's also, I've got another podcast, which is really popular and it's the Sleep, what is it? Sleep Hypnosis Weekly or it's Weekly Sleep Hypnosis.

I can never remember the order of those words, but it's those three words, SleepHypnosisWeekly, I think, dot com. And that's got the, I think it's seven recordings on there, but that's continuously getting people coming back every day to listen to those recordings. And then I've got, how many is that? Then that's, let me see.

Then there's the freesleephypnosis.com, which is the one that I made yesterday. And that's got all of my sleep hypnosis sessions on there, all the standalone ones. And then I've got another website, which is the jasonnewland.com website, which I'm in the process of building.

However, here's an idea. And I don't know what you think. Here is my idea.

I've been trying to work out a way to turn what I love doing into a career. I kind of think that, I feel like this has been my career for the last 13 years. That's how I feel.

Even though during that time of being at university full-time for three years, and I was a counselor full-time for about three or four years, and then I went back and I worked in insurance, and then I was being unemployed for four years now. But I still feel that even though I've not been earning a living doing this, it's still my career. It's still the thing that I think about.

I think about it when I go to bed. I think about it when I wake up. Not always.

Sometimes I think about I need to go to the toilet when I wake up. If I'm honest, that's usually the first thing I think about. But it's something I think about a lot of the time, most of the time.

So it makes sense that I would have a little ferret in the background of recordings crunching away on these little cat biscuits. Why has he got to do that now? It's 24 hours in a day. He sleeps about 18 hours a day.

Why does he have to do this while I'm making a recording? Seriously, he sleeps about 18 hours, which means he's awake for four hours. Not all in one go either. So he'll be asleep for a few hours, get up, go back to sleep for a few more hours.

There's usually a period when he's asleep for a good four or five hours. What he's doing now is he's taking the biscuits and he's hiding them around the flat. Basically, when he's hungry and he hasn't had his food yet, he's got these little stashes of food that he can dig into.

It's very conniving, or clever, I suppose could be another word for it. I do wonder if a neighbour downstairs can hear his little footsteps running around. I hope not.

I can hear it, but I'm here, you know, I'm on the same the same floor as him, but I really hope that the person downstairs can't hear him. It's a little dream of mine. It hasn't always been a dream, but recently I like the idea.

I need to get a new carpet because Andre's ruined this carpet. I've ruined part of it, but he's ruined most of it. I need to get a new carpet, but what I want to get is the best, most soundproofest carpet that you can buy, which may mean saving up for a long time.

I don't know how much it's going to cost and just doing one room at a time. I'll just do the living room first, and then the bedroom, you know, so just do them separately. Maybe even have different colours.

You don't have to have the same colour carpet in every room, which I have at the moment. Although I say the same colour, the carpet's a very different colour to what it was when it was first born. It had a different colour.

It's lots of stains on it. I'm thinking of getting one of those Fax machines, not Fax as in F-A-X, but V-A-X, and they clean your carpet. I'm thinking running around.

It's got so much energy. Yeah, I'd like to clean the carpet. I thought about trying to pay someone to do it, but it means having them in my home, and I'd rather just kind of do it in my own time and do a part of the carpet as and when I feel like it, you know.

So Andre's now at the front door scratching, trying to get out. I don't know what is wrong with that boy, honestly. I took him out twice already today.

Two walks, and the last one was only about half an hour ago. He's about to jump. Oh no, he's not.

That's it. Crinkle all the carrier bags now, Andre. That's a good boy.

Yeah. Oh, you're daddy's little angel. So here's my idea about trying to change or, you know, create a career for myself.

So noisy. See, if this was a hypnosis session, I'd have to stop. I'd have to just give up on the recording because I suppose it's quite nice, the sound, because you know you've got I've got this wild animal running around in my flat having a good old crunch on his food, and you know, so well he is tamed.

Yeah, to a degree. The only way he's tamed is he doesn't bite me. The rest of it is he does exactly what he wants to do.

I can't train him. In fact, if anything, he trains me. He lets me know when he wants me to get his food.

When I walk in, he lets me know when he wants me to carry him, because he'll stop and he'll put his hand or both his hands on my foot, on my shoe, or maybe he sort of jumps up a little bit, you know, to my shin, like puts his hand on my shin. But even if he puts his hand on my shoe, looks up at me, he wants me to carry him. So I do, I pick him up.

In the summer, sometimes it's just because he makes some weird noises. See, in the summer, he likes to be picked up sometimes, and then just for a rest, because it's a bit hot, he gets a bit overheated. And then after maybe 30 seconds, he wants to get down again.

In the winter, it might be a bit too cold for him. He wants to get up and he wants to climb inside my jacket to get warm. And then he's in there for a minute and he wants to get out again.

He does whatever he wants to do, whenever he wants to do it. And the biscuits are supposed to be good for his teeth as well, helps to clean his teeth. Because the rest of the time he has cat food, you know, like the wet food.

But he only eats the food that's got gravy in it. He won't eat the cat food with jelly. Don't like it.

Which is weird because his uncle, who was another like pole cat, he'd eat anything. He was happy, just it's very adventurous. Andre is fussy as anything.

If anyone gives him anything, like when we're out, sometimes people will give him something to eat, you know, just like little various different things. He'll sniff and he turns his nose up at everything. If I go to give him stuff, sometimes he'll have it, sometimes again he's just like, no, no thanks.

Now if it's in my mouth, he wants it. It wouldn't matter even if it was jellied cat food, you know, jelly. He'd eat it if it's out of my mouth.

He's like a little baby. He wants to be breastfed, but that hurts. No, he did bite my nipple once when he was a baby.

I wasn't trying to breastfeed him. It wasn't anything weird like that. He just, I think it was the summer and I was holding him because I got him in September.

So it's still quite nice weather. I had my dressing gown on and I was just cuddling him and he just lunged and bit my nipple. And ow, that's a sensitive area.

He's now crawled up on me again. He's now cuddling me. What is it you want, Andre? Oh, you want to get down again? That's it.

Now scratch at the carpet. That's another noise we can introduce into the podcast. He's now gone into his bag again.

His brown bag with fluorescent, bogey, sickly colour of green and yellow. I don't know what that colour is. Lime, maybe, yeah.

Just stripes down the sides, I think. I'm not sure. Yeah, down the sides or down the ends rather.

See what I was thinking of doing then. So to try and continue this as a career, I thought I could maybe make some premium MP3s downloadable for a cost. But just not the stuff that I'm already doing, but maybe a version of what I'm doing.

But for example, let me see. Let me boy to sleep. I could maybe do a two hour or three hour version.

Maybe four hour even, who knows? Five hours, but that's quite a long time to be talking. And with the deep sleep whisper sessions, I could maybe do an hour long one because usually they're about 20 minutes or maybe do a two or three, four hour one. So that's what I'm thinking about to maybe to help finance this and maybe even finance living a life, paying the rent and buying my food and all that stuff.

So I worked out, these new websites I've got, as well as all the other stuff I was doing, works out, I think about 70, 80 pound a year for each website to run, including the host and the maybe a hundred pound a year and the domain name, which is about 16 pound a year. But it costs 21 pounds for five websites to be built with WordPress, which I've now got all five websites. So for me to get another five websites, it's another 21 pound plus.

Normally you can get, they do a discount on the first year for the domain name. So it costs maybe 9.99 for the first year and then 16 pound the following years. And so I might get another 10 a year.

Not yet though. So I think I've got about 30 podcasts, maybe a little bit less, I'm not sure, but I've got quite a few. So to have a website for each one, what's that? Five, 10, 15, 20, 25.

So let's say I've got 25, 30, so six. So it's 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 126 pound a month just for the web space and for the websites. So I suppose I could offer the opportunity for people to sponsor the website, just to cover the costs.

Sponsor the Let Me Boyd Asleep website for 100 pound a year, as an example. But we'll see. See what comes up.

Yeah, I feel quite relaxed. I like that feeling, you know, when you're just laying down or sitting in a comfortable chair and it's quiet. And it may not even be quiet outside, but it's quiet inside.

Inside your mind is quiet and you're relaxed and you're receptive to the idea that you can just sleep easily. And by listening to me, just talking can actually have some kind of therapeutic usefulness and help you to just drift off easily and in a natural way. And that can be quite a nice little experience to just relax into it and let the experience happen.

I quite like that idea of just sinking into the feeling of sleepiness and knowing that there's nothing that any of us needs to do in this moment. Calm, relaxed. It's actually a really nice feeling.

One that I personally enjoy. Feeling calm, feeling relaxed.