#115 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (19th March 2019)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes as this sleep inducing recording may induce sleep. Yeah and if you're watching on youtube please subscribe and maybe leave a comment telling me how amazing I am.

I'm always up for that. I like to hear wonderful things about myself or you could tell me if what I'm doing is useful. That's really what I want to hear.

And what else? Oh yeah, if you would like to support me, if you like what I do, okay, if you benefit from what I do, you enjoy it or whatever, and if you'd like to support this free service that I offer then please, you can do a couple of things or you can do all of them, but one of the things you could do is you could send me some money via paypal and even if it's a one dollar donation for each recording for anyone that listens, it will help to pay towards the cost, the running cost of this free service which at the moment is about a hundred pounds a month plus ish.

And if you go to my website I've got it listed what the costs are and there's a donation link there but it's actually paypal.me forward slash jason newland paypal.me forward slash jason newland. There are other ways you can support me.

You could share this recording, you could share the podcast, and tell your friends, share it on facebook, you could you know share the youtube video. Thanks Andre for sneezing, he's in the background. I want to tell you about Andre today.

Oh he's on the naughty step, he really is on the naughty step tonight. Anyway, if you want to help, there's different ways you can help and support me. I'm aching a little bit, but again I'll tell you why it's because of Andre.

I just want to tell you about Andre really, I don't want to bother talking about the supporting me thing. But yeah, you could leave reviews on the various podcasts because I'm on lots of different podcasts. Oh I'm trying to get comfortable.

So I'm on Spotify, Podchaser, Stitcher, iTunes, Soundcloud, you know lots of different uh podcasts, lots, as well as being on my website. And yeah, so you could just, because I've been, I do, this could sound really really a bit strange, this might sound a bit strange. What I do is sometimes, no I'm sorry I won't do a phone voice, what I do is I do Google myself.

Not always my name, but I like Google to bore me to sleep and you know see what other people are doing, similar kind of things. It's only one other person that I can see that was doing something similar to this, but before me. And this is an American, I think, or Canadian man, and I realize that's a faux pas to say that, because, but I don't know, I'm just saying he could be from New Zealand, you know he's from somewhere, but not England.

He could be from England, but just moved to a place with an American accent, you know, at an early age. I don't know, I don't know his story, I don't. And I think his name's Drew, D-R-E-W, and he's very successful, he's got a very popular podcast, it's been going for a few years, got four, five years maybe, and I discovered it after I started doing these.

So I didn't copy, and what I do isn't really, I suppose it is very similar, but it's not, if that makes any sense. It's kind of like, we do things different, it's like saying all singers are the same, that person's singing. Oh, but someone else is singing, why would you want two singers in the world? Like, yeah, people sing differently, you know, so he sings differently to me, and I do my thing, he does his thing.

But his is really successful, and he's got a Patreon page, and you know, he's got a lot of followers, and he's making quite a bit of money from the looks of it. So that's really cool. Oh, what else? There is someone, I discovered another one, a podcast, but they started this year, they started in January, and it was like a boring podcast thing, so I'm just wondering if it's gonna, I kind of hope not, because that's just gonna, it could go badly for me if it became trendy to start making these kinds of recordings, podcasts, because there might be a lot more people out there that are just so much better at it than I am.

And, you know, some people might have actually been influenced by me to do it, who knows? I know that people have told me that they've been influenced by me to get into hypnosis and to make hypnosis videos and stuff like that. They've actually told me this in the past. So imagine that, imagine if there's suddenly a big loads of people coming out and doing boring, boring podcasts to send people to sleep, and it's just me, and everyone's so much more successful, it's just me, and I'm like trailing behind, and I was in second place, and now I'm like trailing far behind, and it's not fair.

Oh, or it could go the other way. More people could get interested in it, and they discover me, so who knows? I don't know. A bit like with the AMRS, ASMR rather, ASMR videos on YouTube, you know, there wasn't many people doing it, and then suddenly loads of people did it, and it became huge, which still is, but it was massive, wasn't it, for a while really, and some of the people that do it now still, they post a video, and within about two or three hours, they've got 40,000, 50,000, 100,000 views.

It's like, wow, I did get into the ASMR videos. I really did. It's because someone asked me to do it about 2011, I think it was.

They said, I think I'd already done it. I'd already kind of done it a bit, we've done a bit of whispering, but not as an ASMR, just as a, more as a wind down, so I'd be doing like a relaxation session, or an insomnia session, and I'd be talking, and then I'd get quieter and quieter as the time went by, and then near the end of the recording, I'd be like whispering like this, and well, I wouldn't be saying these words, of course, but, because that would be weird, but I'd be like, and then you feel relaxed and sleepy, blah, blah, blah, you eat a cheese sandwich, you have a tail for some reason, yeah, I'm playing with my beard, you know, that kind of stuff, you know, useful things.

And I started making a few, and they were popular, not like as popular as the ASMR are popular people, but I was getting thousands of views at the time, so that was quite a kind of weird thing, and then I started thinking, well, and I got a little bit distracted over the years, the only thing I wanted to do was chronic pain relief, that's the only thing that I wanted to do when I started this, and, well, when I got involved in hypnosis, that is the only thing that really interested me, and, you know, in

2006, I started the free pain relief service, I used to visit people in their homes, and then I rented a room, and, you know, so it was it was going good, and then people wanted more different things, you know, they wanted, oh, can you help me with this, I've got a phobia, different things, you know, and I wanted to help, you know, just generally wanted to help people, so I kind of said, yeah, all right, you can come along for that, we'll, you know, see, and I found it fascinating hearing the processes that people go

through, the brain thinking process of a particular issue that a person may have, and yeah, it's kind of, it's a little bit, well, I'm only guessing, here, but I imagine it's a very kind of, it's like being a, like an engineer, you know, trying to figure out the mechanics of like a most really complicated machine, or a mechanic, yeah, a mechanic, engineer, mechanic, or scientist even, it's just, you know, figuring something out, and maybe where to put the screwdriver, which bit needs to be replaced, or maybe needs, you know, like with plumbing, which bit needs

to be plunged, I don't know why that's funny, but yeah, so I got into, when I put, yeah, so it's a pain relief, and I kind of moved away from the pain relief, and when I was doing the volunteering at the rehab places, I was one of drug rehab and an alcohol charity, and I was doing these relaxation sessions, groups, leading them, and people were saying, well, it's nice to see you once a week, or twice a week, but, you know, they said, can you make a CD for us to listen to at home, you

know, something we can take home with us and listen every day, so I thought, okay, I just heard the weirdest noise, it might be an Andre, but it sounded like a, like a bird or something, like, I think it is Andre, I've got to tell you about Andre in a minute, Mr.

Naughty Stepman, anyway, yeah, I started making these CDs, I basically just took a, an audio recorder in with me, and I started recording all the, all the sessions, and chose, chose one with, you know, the most quiet background, and then I started making CDs, handing them out, and these got more popular, and I kept running out of CDs, so I started putting them on the website as MP3s, so people could just stream them or download them, and that's how this kind of started, all the online stuff, so I started off, I thought, well, they're on

my website, I might as well just share them, what will happen, I thought, well, I'm going to share them on MySpace, because I started making videos as well, I thought, okay, let's see what happens here, and MySpace loved me, not everyone, but I got a lot of real positive support from people on MySpace, and it was all mainly about people on bands and singers, and, you know, that's what MySpace was really around, and I know it's the precursor to Facebook, but lots of, you know, people, I think the first video I did got about 10,000

views within quite a short time, which was mind-blowing for me at the time, you know, 2006, 2007, whenever it was, I was like, wow, they really like me, and I think it was the first one was like a 10-minute relaxation, it was in black and white video, and then I just made some more, and I had a podcast as well, which was a big free podcast, it was, I think it was actually called freepodcast.com, something like that, and I was, you know, and I had some 100,000 downloads on there before they closed it, and it

was in about 90, 2008, so, yeah, things were going well there, but then they closed it because it was free, and they couldn't keep it going, like, why didn't they just charge people, and, but then what happened is people started asking me, oh, why don't you do, can you do a sleep session, can you do a sleep recording or sleep video, okay, because I was, I was doing the chronic pain ones, that's what

I wanted to basically, I was doing relaxation, because that's what I'd already started doing with people, and then I thought, now I can do chronic pain, which is what I want to do, and then people are asking for the sleep sessions, and they're the ones that are always the most popular, and the, I did a record, I did a video in 2000, and I think it was 2011, and it was, the hypnot, was it, the sleep challenge, try and stay awake challenge, and it's been my most popular video, always, you know, every time I upload

it onto a new channel, like YouTube channel or something, it always, you know, ends up getting thousands of views, it's kind of weird really, not weird, but it's just popular for some reason, and I don't know if there's any point for me telling you that all that stuff, it's just, I'm feeling nostalgic maybe, I don't know, but I think one of the point I was making before is, there are other people doing the sleep sessions, but not, not many doing this, you know, like proper, proper boring talking, and I do wonder maybe if I found

my niche, as it were, and whether I should focus just on this, however, the deep sleep whisper hypnosis recordings are still the most popular ones, out of everything I do, and now the let me bore you to sleep are growing in popularity, and it's taken a year to get to where I am now with these, so I wonder, you know, in another year's time, they might, this might be the most popular podcast out of all of them, I really don't know, it's hard, it's hard to tell isn't it, hard to know what's going to happen.

A little drink there, so I would like to, I'd like to at least plan something, you know, plan some kind of, I don't know, don't use the word business, but something where I can just go forward and not have to really think too much about stuff like money or any of those things, I don't mean, you know, still got to sort that stuff out and, you know, look after myself, but I think if I had, if I had £10,000 a year guaranteed for the next four years or three years, I could stop being unemployed because

£10,000 would cover all the basics, you know, cover the rent, cover bills, you know, I wouldn't leave me with anything to do anything or go anywhere, but it would leave me, it would cover the very basics of what I need to get by.

And on top of that, I could then start to ask for money, ask for donations a bit more and sell some products on the website. And eventually, I reckon after a year or two, I reckon I could probably be making that £10,000 a year, so I wouldn't need that help anymore.

And then after a couple of years later, I probably would have added another £10,000 a year to make it out to about £20,000 a year, which would then give me a, like a basic living standard, bearing in mind, you know, tax has to be taken off and all that stuff. And then just build it from there. And then by the time I'm 90, I might actually, I might actually have a nice, a big nice table full of coins.

I'll be rich. I think it would be nice. I had a, I want to say thank you to Michael for a donation that I received.

I've already thanked him, but I thought I'd like to thank him publicly, like, you know, actually on a recording, because I know that he listens to these. And he actually did leave me a message or comment on my website a couple of weeks back, which was really cool. And so he gave me a donation, but he did, and I should, I'm going to say this directly to Michael now.

I didn't receive your email that you sent via, or the comment, message you sent via my website, because I found out that the, the message was, they're not, they weren't being passed on, because I wasn't paying the $9.99 a month to pay for that service on the website, which is kind of ridiculous amount of money just so to be able to receive emails. So that's why it didn't. And I kept sending myself emails trying to figure out why is it not coming through? And that's why.

So I'm gonna, I'm gonna re-look at, revisit the whole website thing, because I don't think it's very practical. Unless I'm actually going to sell stuff, there's no point in me being on Shopify. I might as well just get a cheaper website host, but I don't want to keep using different website hosts.

I want to stick with just one. I've had so many over the years, and I don't want to really put that much effort into it. The good thing about Shopify is I can put a product for sale so easily.

And Shopify do all the work. All I've got to do is produce the product, upload it, upload the artwork, and you know, all that stuff, and then it's available. So, you know, that's kind of something that I'd like to do more of.

But I can't do that while I'm unemployed. I can't, I can't sell stuff unless I'm a business. At the moment, I'm asking for help to cover the cost of the free service.

That's a different thing. And so, I don't know, there's got to be, I started to kind of really think about it and think, well, you know, maybe this is what I need to be doing. And maybe, maybe I have found my my niche.

And maybe sleepy stuff, you know, sending people to sleep, whether it's with the whisper recordings, or whether it's with these or both. Perhaps that's something I need to maybe accept that that's what I'm here for. You know, maybe that's, that's my kind of purpose is to help people just to fall asleep and to just be boring.

Maybe, I don't know. It's, I would still like to do other things. I don't want to just, I don't know, I like the idea of making more recordings of different things, really.

That's just what I like to do. I like to be creative. And there's something quite nice about creating something out of nothing.

And that's what this is, you know, this was, this recording was nothing until I started talking. It still is nothing really, but you know, you know what I mean. And the Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Now, this is like 115 recordings. And over a year, I was like, wow, that's probably 120 hours plus of me just yabbering on, yabber, yabber, yabber, yabber, blah, blah, blah, wah, wah, wah. So I find it quite, I'm thinking, I'm thinking of writing a book.

And I'm thinking, thinking, thinking of that book being this, this is the equivalent of what I'm doing here. So Let Me Bore You To Sleep book. And I could, I suppose, I could do it, there's different ways of doing it.

I could transcribe the recordings, and then write a book from them, you know, do like a, you know, the best of or just some of the stories or just, you know, whatever rubbish I've come out with. Or I could just do completely fresh things. Whenever I say fresh things, I think of farting.

It's weird. Other people might think of cooking, you know, some fresh food, you know, so or maybe to rejuvenate their relationship, maybe to, you know, to get remarried, you know, redo their marriage vows, let's refresh our, our relationship. Let's think of farting, I think of the word fresh.

Anyway, um, um, um, um, so yeah, I suppose I could write a book. And just write it fresh, you know, just actually, I don't know, let me know, let me know what you think. If you're still awake, if you haven't fallen asleep yet, then let me know what you think, what your ideas or what you would like.

Although I have to be a little bit careful about why I ask people. Because this, what was it, it was not, not this month, not last month, it might be last month. It was this year, though, I think it was in 2019.

So it was either January 2019, or February 2019. I'm pretty sure that it wasn't March 2019. But I think I posted something on Facebook, asking people, what would you like me to talk about in the let me bore you to sleep recordings? Or is this something you'd like me to discuss or story or, you know.

And I had a couple of people asked me to, you know, gave me some idea, three or four people gave me some ideas, what they would like me to do. And I tried to do one of them. And I just couldn't, because I was laughing.

Luckily, it wasn't live. So it was just a recording. But I just, for some reason, when I start telling a story, I think that this was a story about, I can't remember what it was.

It might have been about some pigs or I don't know why pigs come to mind. It's, it could have been a story about a cow. I don't really know.

It seems to be a farm thing going on. And maybe it was a talking jacket, a smoking jacket, but what about a talking jacket? You know, the kind of jacket someone wears, instead of wearing something when you smoke, they wear it when they talk. So it doesn't actually talk, or maybe it does talk.

Or maybe it's a talking jacket, but it smokes. I don't know, just, just making stuff up now. Sometimes I get a little flashbacks of old dreams that I've had years ago, that didn't, didn't mean anything then.

Not really sure why that is. I don't suppose it really matters, but today I was, I had an appointment at the, at the university to, they had like an open afternoon or open evening. I think it was 4.30 onwards or something.

And it was for the postgraduate degrees. And I'd had it booked for, I think, two weeks. I just realized about an hour ago that I didn't go.

Well, I just like forgot all about it, completely, totally forgot all about it. And it was today, well yesterday rather, Monday. And just, it went out of my mind completely.

And I spent most of the day in bed. But it's like, why, why did that just leave my mind? Why? I don't, I don't know why. Very strange.

Yeah, very weird that. So I might wait and see if there's another opening day or, oh, I don't know. I'm really not sure.

I mean, what would be the best way to do a book? Could it be to have chapters with a different story for each one? I don't know, because I suppose reading something would be different to listening to something. However, you know what I've noticed? Well, you don't know because I've not told you yet, but something that I've realized about me anyway. It doesn't mean it's the same for everybody, because not everybody's the same.

But what I've found is when I read a book by, and I know the author, yeah, I know what they sound like, then I read that book in their voice. I mean, it's not going to be perfect, you know, because I've not heard anybody say every single word of the language, you know. So it's still kind of in their tone of voice.

I suppose there's more tone, yeah, tone. I'll give you an example, and I will do in a minute when I can think of one. Who have I read? All right, okay, like Charles Bukowski.

If I read, I've got a few Charles Bukowski books. If I read a Charles Bukowski book, I will hear his voice. I didn't used to, because I didn't used to know what his voice was like.

Because when I first started reading his books, it was in 1992, I would say. Yeah, probably, maybe 91, but I'd say probably 92. And I was really into the Beat Generation poetry.

And although Charles Bukowski didn't really fit into the Beat Generation, as such, he was known by them. And, you know, he kind of was just a legend, legendary writer, American writer, as well as being, you know, a poet as well. So, if you've never read any of his books, then I do suggest checking them out, because also I like his poetry.

Was it Ryan Ham was one of them. And a lot of his books were produced by black Sparrow printers, I do believe, if my memory is serving something up. And I had a few, I don't have the, in most of my book collections, I don't have it all.

I had pretty much, I'm not going to say I had all of his books, but I have a lot, probably. I probably had about 80% of the books that he produced, including the poetry, but I didn't keep them. And I re-bought probably about six of them a couple of years back.

He had one other book, what did he do? He did a thing called, like a trilogy. And it was Post Office, Women, and was it Factotum? Or that might be wrong on that one. That might be a different author.

I think it's Factotum. But he did Women, he did Post Office and Women. And he also had another book called Diaries or Notes of a Dirty Old Man, which were short stories.

But it's very adult, it's adult kind of content, but it's really, it's always very funny. But it's, I think it wasn't until probably in 95 that I saw, I don't know if I was in either Virgin or maybe in HMV in London, but they had an album of Charles Bukowski. And it's like a him live, not in concert, but doing, and there's one, he's like, yeah, he was reading his poetry to an audience.

And then there was, I think, another side where he was reading his poetry just to himself, kind of. And I don't know, quite, I was taken back by how he sounded, because it didn't sound how I thought he sounded. But there's no way of knowing how someone sounds.

And back then there was no YouTube to watch videos of him and to gain some kind of idea. And he wasn't even around anymore at that point. So I couldn't have gone and visited him to hear him.

There was a book, what's his name, there was a film called, is it Barfly, which had Mickey Rourke in, who played him as a character. He played, it wasn't Charles Bukowski, but Charles Bukowski called himself Hank Chinesky in his books. So he referred to himself as Hank Chinesky.

And yeah, surprised I remember so much about it. But I've read quite a few of his books. And I think after reading his books, I kind of got an idea of how I would like to write.

You know, it would be very much more in the first person, talking from a, I suppose, in a sense, like a Pulp Fiction kind of book kind of way. You know, the original Pulp Fiction books where the detective would be saying, oh, I did actually, oh yeah. It's gone now.

It got lost in the internet. But I made this recording where I told a story. And it was like a detective story.

It lasted for about an hour, maybe an hour and 10 minutes. And it was good. It was funny.

It was very, very silly. But somewhere along the line, I lost it. I lost it while I was doing it because I was laughing.

But I think that was about 2012. But it got lost. If there's anyone out there that remembers it and saved it, then let me know.

I'd love to hear it again. It was just a bit weird. It was just very silly.

But I quite like the idea of writing, you know, kind of in the first person. That sort of appeals to me. And maybe, I don't know, just talking about what I'm seeing and what I'm thinking at the time.

And I'd like to be able to just, I'd quite like to be able to walk down the street, you know, and say into my phone, you know, record what I'm thinking and what I'm doing, you know, and what I'm thinking as I'm doing it. The problem is, there's people around. And it might look a bit silly.

You know, as I'm walking up to the counter of the supermarket to pay for my, I don't know, whatever I use to bleach my pubes. And I'm saying, oh. And as I walk up to the counter, I look around to see if there's any attractive, if there's any attractive members of staff working so I can chat them up and maybe, you know, just have a little bit of visual pleasure for the day.

But then as I walked towards the counter, I could see there was just, just an elderly lady who just didn't look very happy, really. Didn't look like she was very happy with her job. And maybe it was because of the big hairy mole she had on the side of her face.

Then you hear in the recording saying, are you going to pay for that, sir? And she asked me if I'd like to pay for that. You know, it's like that. It'd sound rude, wouldn't it? Imagine if you're just walking up, walking around saying, yeah, I'm looking at a man and a woman, they're walking past me now.

I do wonder how come he's got a girlfriend and I haven't. You know, that could cause a lot of trouble, couldn't it? It's like, so here's what happened. Andre wanted to go for a walk.

Okay. Andre, yet again, no surprise there. Mr. Demanding.

Take me out, take me out, daddy, all the time. So I thought, okay. And this was late.

This was half 11. And I thought, okay, I'll take you out. Why not? We'll just go for a little walk.

We'll come back. So we crossed the road and he goes in and out of the railings where the school is. And there's this, basically a fence that goes all the way around the school, which is probably goes up to about my chest.

And he goes in and out of the railings and then just comes back and, you know, just rubbing himself over everything. I just heard some weird sounds then. Well, this time the chain on his collar, because he's got a harness with a lead and the lead snapped off because he tangled it around the railing.

And he was on the other side of the fence, which is the school side. And he ran away in the dark towards the school and the school field. I didn't know what to do.

I couldn't obviously, couldn't leave in there. The fence was all locked up. I couldn't get in other than by jumping over it.

So I went to jump over it and that didn't go very well. I ended up on my back and then I did hurt myself, but nothing too serious. And I get up and I can't see Andre anywhere.

And I'm listening out for him. I'm kind of calling his name, nothing. And then eventually I hear something in the bushes and I grab him and, you know, I've got him.

Go to put the lead on and I didn't, at this point, I didn't realize the lead was snapped. I thought he'd come out of his harness or something, but the lead is broke. And then I realized that I don't have my glasses on.

My glasses have fallen off with the fall. So when I jumped over the fence, my glasses have gone flying somewhere. Not literally flying, but you know.

And I thought, oh great, I could not find them. And I was looking around like for somebody, because it wasn't just a case of couldn't find them. I had to find a way over the fence as well as hold Andre at the same time without hurting him.

So I had to stuff him down the front of my jacket so that he couldn't get out and find a way to get over the fence without squashing him. Eventually I found my glasses and I waited. I thought surely someone will walk past.

Nothing. Nobody anywhere. I just needed a hand.

Literally, that's all I needed. Just a little bit of help to get over the fence. I could have, you know, just something.

And I was stuck over there for about 15 minutes. I was like, oh, what am I going to do? I can't stay here all night. That's going to be a bit weird.

I live across the road. But then I discovered a way out. I kind of, I found something to hold on to and I managed to get out.

But I think I bashed my leg on the way out of that. So I've got a gash in my shin and a sore shoulder. And who knows what I'm going to, you know, what I've bruised.

Just because Andre wanted to go for a walk. I know it's not his fault, but I couldn't believe it. Seriously, it was like so just like, what on earth? What on earth? Like, how am I going to get over that fence to start with? And I did it and ended up, luckily, you know, I was still conscious, but I ended up on my back, flat on my back.

I still managed to get, yeah, I got home anyway. And here I am. That was the original story I was going to be telling you.

So there you go. And now I've got no harness for Andre now, because the thing's broken so I can't take him out. I can't believe how flimsy the lead is.

It might just be how strong he is. But at least he's safe. That's the main thing.

And that's the whole recording done. So hopefully you were as bored as I was with that. I'll see you next time.

Take care. Bye.