#113 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (13th March 2019)

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Art Me Bore You To Sleep. I don't know what number it is.

And please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes and if you're watching on YouTube, again, only listen or watch when you can safely close your eyes and please subscribe. Mind you, I've had a few problems uploading some of these longer videos to YouTube. So I don't know why that is.

But I couldn't be bothered to try and figure it out. Spent a bit of time on it. And I think three of the longer videos to let me bore you to sleep ones have not processed.

They've not finished processing. So I'll keep doing it with the hope that it will sort itself out. So yeah, I don't know quite what's going on.

And the size of the file is too big to shorten. If that makes sense. It's too large.

The file is like six gigabytes or sometimes more, four, five, six gigabytes, seven. So the it's a lot of free conversion websites where you can upload the video and you know, convert it to half the size or something like that. But unfortunately, they don't allow you to upload something as large as this.

So I'm in a situation where I kind of don't care really. Oh, just dropped the phone. It's mildly irritating, especially after, you know, making the video and rendering it, which takes a couple of hours and going through the process of uploading it.

Again, another couple of hours sometimes, only to have nothing occur, which is weird though, because the link allows you to go to the link and watch it. I don't understand. I don't understand.

I really don't. However, the podcasts are fine. You know, they're absolutely fine.

It's normal. It's uploaded. And that's the main place that they listen to anyway.

But as the YouTube channel grows, I would like all of my videos, all the new stuff to be on there. Just kind of makes sense really. But all short stuff's fine.

Anything, you know, half an hour long or anything like that is fine. I did a relax with slime video yesterday or last night or this morning. And I think it lasted 15 minutes.

And that uploaded fine as well. And that was a big file, you know, because that was moving. And me playing with slime for, I think it was 50, it might have been 40 minutes, but I think it was 50.

Might have been 47. And that slime is some weird stuff. I've got this big bucket of it.

And as well as looking weird, it sounds weird and it feels weird. So I'm probably going to do more of those recordings. Even though they might not be to everybody's taste, as far as listening to them.

Videos possibly will be more popular because of the visual side of it, if that makes sense. But there's still work to be done. There's still stuff to be done on this to figure out what it is I'm going to do.

I did a deep sleep whisper session this morning. And so that was, I think it was number 63. And so I uploaded that.

I've not made a video of it yet, but I will. I'll make a video later. I went out today, had an appointment.

I've seen a therapist and she's doing, I forget the name of it. It's a cognitive behavior therapy, but a different strand aimed, it wasn't invented for me, but it was a different, it's a certain type that's perhaps useful for me. And we were talking and I was telling her some stuff and she's making a, like a drawing.

I'm glad she was doing a drawing because I don't, it wasn't a drawing, but it was like a map. And we didn't have enough time to discuss her thoughts on the map because I was waffling on a bit, but there's a lot of repetition there. And I seem to have a tendency of coming back to the same stuff.

And there seems to be this issue of not wanting to have any money for some reason, which is kind of silly, really. So it's kind of keeping myself in the poverty trap by my own actions. So yeah, there's a few things there.

I won't go into it here because this is probably not the right place, but so I went there, which meant I had to get up early in the morning because she sent me an email, I think yesterday, but that might've been Monday because I'd imagine Monday would make more sense because it's more notice. And she said, can we meet an hour early, please? Because I don't know, she wanted to go to McDonald's or something. And I said, yeah, no problem.

Yeah, I'll come in an hour earlier. Yeah, I'd love to go get in at 11. Yeah, lovely.

Not. I've wanted to say that for ages. I haven't said that.

Remember years ago, it used to be the standard rebukes or the rebuckle or put down someone says something, you said, yeah, I'd love to do that. Not. It's very, very childish.

It's, so yeah, I needed to get up early and I was doing my, yeah, I did yesterday. What did I do yesterday? I went out Monday, Tuesday and today and briefly, I didn't, yesterday I got completely soaked through because of the weather, the wind, the rain. Okay.

The rain's responsible for the soak, but the wind just, I kind of felt like it was so windy. I should have dried me off. I really did.

It's like, why am I not dry? It's like 90 miles an hour winds. I'm quite lucky because I'm overweight. It's not good the rest of the year.

So coming up, it's now March. So we're moving into summertime, spring, summer when people walk around in t-shirts and I can't really do that comfortably, but I can't walk around in a scarf either because it's summer. I can't make out when I'm just a 1970s Doctor Who, that doesn't cut it, you know? So it's, you know, I kind of have to cover up a little bit or just hide.

But in the winter, I can walk around and it don't matter how windy it is, I can just walk straight through it. It doesn't affect me. I can feel it, but it doesn't affect me.

You know, like when I was younger, I'd get blown all around the place. It doesn't happen. Not these days, but I am going to lose some weight.

I decided I weighed myself today and I put weight on since the last time I was weighed. So I was a hundred kilos. Now I'm a hundred and one kilos and that's not a lot, but you know, what happens? What if, what if it, when was the last weight? Probably three weeks ago, which means if every three weeks, we'll say every month, every month I put a kilo on.

So, you know, by the end of December, so what this month is March. So a hundred and one, April, a hundred and two kilos, May, a hundred and three kilos, June, a hundred and four kilos, July, a hundred and five kilos, August, a hundred and six kilos, September, a hundred and seven kilos, October, a hundred and eight kilos, November, a hundred and nine kilos, December, a hundred and ten kilos. So I'm not sure how many kilos in a pound or how many kilos in a, well, I'm not sure how it all works, but it's a bunch of numbers, isn't it?

And so what eventually if I keep going up one kilo a month, that's quite a lot, isn't it? So there'll be a hundred and ten kilos at the end of this year.

At the end of 2020, I'll be a hundred and eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two. A hundred and twenty-two kilos by the end of 2020, the end of next year. Two thousand, yeah, a hundred and twenty-two.

So by the end of 2021, so a hundred and twenty-two, a hundred and twenty-three, a hundred and twenty-four, a hundred and twenty-five, a hundred and twenty-six, a hundred and twenty-seven, a hundred and twenty-eight, a hundred and twenty-nine, a hundred and thirty, a hundred and thirty-one, a hundred and thirty-two, a hundred and thirty-three, a hundred and thirty-four. That's a hundred and thirty-four kilos. It's, I don't know how much that is in stone or pounds, but, or centimeters, but it's quite a lot.

It's quite a lot to, and I don't, you know, I'd rather have the weight go downwards because it'll probably be easier to reduce it at this stage than when I'm at 200 kilos. That might, you know, be a little bit more difficult. Mind you, I imagine I'll probably lose quite a few kilos every time I did a poo.

But the thing is, I quite like to, I've got a gym membership, which I've actually paid for. It's monthly. I've not been yet.

And I went and visited. You know, it's really bad if you go to your gym, you know you've been, haven't moved for a long time, when you go back and the trainer is using a walking stick and it's got grey hair. You know, they used to be really, it's been a long time, that's what I'm saying.

A little bit of visual for that. I used to know a trainer, a trainee trainer, and she was called Leah, I think, Leah or Leanne, Leah. She was lovely.

She was my friend. And she, I don't know what happened to her. I've not seen her for ages and ages.

But she was training to be a trainee trainer in the gym, where, you know, helping people to do stuff. I don't know what it entails. I mean, other than the induction, where they show you how to use the machines.

I did see some people that had trainers with them when I was there last time, a couple of years back. And they were, I think he was doing boxing training with two ladies. This man, trainer.

I don't know if he was a trainee trainer, or just a trainer. But I suppose at some point he would have been a trainee. He'd been training to be a trainer.

Yeah, it would have been a trainee journey, journey, trainer. Yeah, so that would be, I woke up today, and I got a bump on the back of my head, like near my neck, back on quite low down. I don't know how it got there.

I realised it's not, it's not like an outside feeling just came and landed on my head. But all I can think of is that I banged my head while I was asleep, during my, you know, during my sleep and stuff, last night. Because I noticed it during the night.

So I went to bed about two o'clock, roughly, knowing that I had to get up at nine, which is going to leave me seven hours. And I must have, I bashed it at some point. It's that, how do you bash the back of your head? You know, I've never done that before.

You know, normally, if I bash something, I know I've bashed it. You know, when I've, when I've, the amount of times I've banged on something, you know, on the bus, I've bashed something off, bashed off, not bashed something off, like getting up off a chair, banging my knee or something like that, you know. And, or, I tell you what I quite liked, today I was getting off the bus and my head, if I straighten my back out enough and straighten my neck out, my head could touch the ceiling.

I was on the top floor. Isn't it weird, little things like that can actually mean a lot. I just had this feeling of accomplishment come all over me.

It was just, the accomplishment was just dripping off my hair, off my beard. It was, I felt so, I felt so, I felt tall. That's what's weird about it.

Because I'm five foot eight. I know that I'm short for a man in the West. You know, the average height for a man in this country is about five, ten.

Maybe, you know, five, ten, five, eleven. That's about the average height for a man. And I am below that.

However, I'm a size ten shoe, so I'm above average when it comes to shoe size. I think the average shoe size is probably nine. I made that up.

Didn't need to tell you I made it up. You might not ever know. It might not be important enough for you to search and, you know, do a dissertation on it.

Imagine life before Google. Oh, I can. I can imagine life before Google.

It was a case of, who's that person that was in that band in 1987? Who was it? What's his name? What's his name? Now, you know, it's just Google it. It's done. Let's move on.

Let's move on. Nothing to see here. Let's be on our merry way.

But 30 years ago, it was like, oh, it's bugging me now. It's bugging me. Who was that person? Who was that person? But yeah, it's, mind you, 30 years ago, it would have been 1987, wouldn't it? Nearly.

So they've been, who was that person three years ago, two years ago? It was in the charts. It was Bross. Yeah.

I don't know. It's, I imagine the arguments are a little bit more different now. Because you've got arguments with people where, who don't have access to Google and they will argue and shout and whatever that they're right and their memory's right.

And because there's no, there's no way to disprove what they're saying. As soon as you bring the internet in, you can disprove what they're saying in an instant. Yet what I've noticed is the person still keeps believing what they believed before, even though they've just had the evidence given to them.

And that's something I found very interesting. No readjusting of what they thought or their thinking or their beliefs. They carried on believing it, even though it had just been shown to them.

Not just on Google, but the various resources, the various newspaper articles, you know, even actual film footage of the event taking place on YouTube. It's not enough to convince some people that their reality is not reality. Maybe that's the thing.

There's something about getting in touch with the reality of what is, instead of wanting things to be different. Because we can make things different. We can make changes and all that stuff, of course.

But some things are there, you know. The way other people are, that's them. It's not up to us to change other people.

Although me as the magical sleepy guru, I change all my fans for the better. Everyone wakes up feeling like perfect humans. What I want is everyone to wake up feeling like some money.

Thousands of dollars. Yeah. It's been very windy here.

Very, very windy. Proper, you know. Not just a little bit, but proper windy.

At one point, it did feel like the windows were going to get blown in. Because there was a real, just sustained sound. Like, eeee, like that.

Okay, it wasn't like that, but it was a sound and it was sustained in some way. It lasted for some while. Now it seems to have calmed down a little bit.

I say that and it starts being windy again. It's a bit strange because where I live, I'm kind of surrounded by houses and like in a circle, kind of. So other than a big tree that's there, I wouldn't expect much of the wind to actually be able to get anywhere near my window.

Because it's kind of sheltered. It still does. Windy, windy, windy.

Mr. and Mrs. Windy are very devious. The wind will find its way into all kinds of cracks and cronies. Cracks and cronies? Runnies? What's that right word? Cracks and crooks? Crooks and cronies? Cronies! Cracks and cronies.

Cracks and cronies. That sounds like some kind of Shakespearean weird movie, doesn't it? Yeah, what are you doing now? I think I'm going to come around and watch Cracks and Cronies. I got it from the shop.

Has to be returned tomorrow. Got it in a plain round bag. Yes.

Cracks and cronies. Oh, that sounds wonderful. Yes.

Should I bring the cigars? Oh, you can if you like. Yes. Cigars? No, I mean to smoke.

Yes. So yeah, I don't... I got the website up and running again last night. The original website.

The proper website. The Shopify website. With thousands of pages and doorways for people to enter into my world.

And I kind of missed it. I hadn't had it for probably a week, maybe longer. Maybe two weeks even.

And now it's back. It's like, oh, my baby. My baby be back.

Give my baby big hug hug. See, Andre, apart from when I got home, he gave me a big... He ignored me. And then he came out and we had a big hug and I cuddled him on the bed and told him how much I loved him and, you know, had a big, big hug.

And that's it. He's just gone back to sleep. I haven't seen him since.

Now he's coming out. See? You can hear him. He can hear me.

He hears my name. When I say his name, he hears his name and that alerts him. He definitely knows his name.

Mind you, it's been nearly four years. He hasn't had to learn anything else, has he? And if you can't learn your name in four years, then there's something quite wrong there, isn't there? There's a good little fairy. He does know some words.

He knows what no means. He ignores it, but he knows what it means. Apart from the odd occasion when I'm angry and I say no very sternly and he stops straight away.

But he really does that and I'm really angry with him. I'm really kind of that way. But he's got this thing where he wants my attention when I'm lying down, usually during the day, sometimes early evening.

You know, he'll be in bed in his bag. He'll be asleep. So I go to bed and just go to sleep.

And then he wants my attention. He wants to go out or something like that. Maybe he wants his dinner.

Maybe he wants untangling from the barbed wire. I don't know, whatever it is. And so he'll climb on the bed and he'll be just pushing me, maybe nudging my toes, nudging my feet, especially if I've got socks on.

If I haven't got socks on, he'll just start biting my toes. And then he'll climb up, climb over my head and start nudging my face. Start licking my eyes, my eyeball, not my eyeballs, but the, you know, sometimes he will actually nibble around my eyes because it's a little bit, it's not painful, but it's a little bit, you know, kind of gets my attention.

But if I'm asleep, that wakes me up. But if I'm already awake and I'm ignoring him, I let him, I don't get up for that. Or if I'm just really tired and I can't be bothered.

The next thing he does, if that doesn't work, he goes to the front door, starts scratching the front door. If that doesn't work, he goes into the kitchen and he starts, he climbs into one of the cupboards and starts to empty stuff onto the floor in the kitchen. And if that doesn't get my attention, he knows what next to do.

And it always gets my attention. He climbs underneath the wardrobe, just where the door is. And he pushes the door open and lets it slam closed.

And he keeps doing it. I've seen him do it. I've actually been facing him with my eyes half closed and looked and does it.

And he just looks up at me to see whether or not I'm moving yet. And it's quite noisy as well. So that's, the thing is, it's not good for him because that's when either, sometimes I put him in his cage when he's done that, especially if I'm trying to sleep.

So he kind of doesn't do himself any favours, but it always works. He knows how to play me. He really does.

Another thing he knows, he knows how, the word gentle. So if he's biting me, let's say he's biting my hand and he hasn't had much play fighting for a while. He goes through phases when he loves play fighting and he's running around and he's, I'm chasing him, then he's chasing me.

But he hasn't done that for quite a while. And if he gets too carried away with a bite and I say gentle, and he does instantly, he eases up. He just relaxes his jaw.

So that's one of the other ways he communicates with me or I communicate with him. Another one is give daddy kisses and he kisses my nose when I say that to him. And another thing, when we're out, when he wants me to carry him, he just stops and he puts both his front feet against my jeans or trousers and just like stands up and just puts his feet against, his two front feet, his hands against my calves or, you know, shin or whatever.

And that's when I know that he wants me to pick him up. So I do. So he's got his ways of communicating with me, which I think is quite nice.

He's got another, I would say it's quite a sarcastic mime act that he does, where he will run over to his empty bowl, look at it, look at me, look at the bowl again and then run away. And then he'll run back to the empty bowl again. Look at me, look at the empty bowl, look around as if there's some other food hidden and then run away and then he'll come back.

So it's basically some kind of mime thing where he's telling me, get my food now. He's, he's a funny little thing. He really is.

You know, sometimes I almost, I'm almost grateful to have him. Sometimes. Oh, a little sneeze sneeze.

So today, shut up. So today, what day is it? It's Wednesday and it's five to four. So I do these, sometimes I make the recordings late at night, sometimes early in the morning, sometimes like early in the morning, as in, you know, daytime, sometimes one or two in the morning.

They really are kind of random. Just do them when I'm in the mood and when I feel like it, when I'm feeling relaxed and calm and know that I'm not really going to be disturbed too much. Apart from Andre, he's the only person that disturbs me.

He disturbs me. I wonder if I did bash my head on something last night. How weird, strange thing.

What it is, is I know that if I can remember having bashed it, then I won't worry about it. It'll be uninteresting and it'll be gone. It'll still be there, but it's like, oh, that's all it was.

Because sometimes I forget, you know, I'll like bang my knee or my arm and I'll be, shush, and there'll be a bruise on my, on my shin or my knee or my arm. I think, why is, why is it hurting? What's that about? And I remember that I was in a bare knuckle fight or something, you know, prize fighting and like, oh, that's right. Yeah.

And it just, you know, it's just jogged my memory and then I don't, I don't concern myself with such issues anymore because then I know what it is and it doesn't matter because knowledge can be powerful, which is why the internet is quite good. Although there's a lot of non-knowledge on there as well. There's a lot of, I don't know.

I do use Wikipedia and I know that perhaps I shouldn't as much as I do because I do, you know, it's pretty much anything I want to know. Quite often I'll just go straight to Wikipedia and see what they've got to say. And then like cross-reference.

I wonder why he's sneezing. That's a bit strange. Can you imagine no YouTube? See, I'm, I don't, someone posted on Facebook about, have you ever had your friends or family unfriend you? And then there's all these people and it's like this, this, this extreme emotional outpour.

It's like, I said, just, I posted, like, listen, it's just a silly website. That's what Facebook is. It's a silly website.

It's not important. It's not real. It's just a bunch of pixels on a screen.

And someone unfriended you or blocked you means nothing. Unless it means something. And I find that kind of, I can get caught up in it a little bit, but I, I've blocked all of my friends and family off of Facebook.

I don't have any of my family, my real life family on there at all. And as far as I know, I blocked all of my friends as well. So I don't want them on there.

I'm only on Facebook to promote my free service that I do. Hypnosis, sleep, whatever it is. The only reason I'm on here, I'm not on Facebook to keep up dated with my family.

You know, I do still have their telephone numbers if I want to, if I want to find out how they are. I generally don't, occasionally, but you know, so I don't, I don't, what do you talk to someone about when you know everything that they're doing? You know, I see my brother and sisters maybe twice a year. What am I going to talk to them about if I know everything they've been doing for the last year? Because they've been posting it on Facebook.

How's the job hunting going? You already know how it's going because you saw that I got the job and you said, well done, sis. I said, yeah, I know, but I just think we should try and have like a normal conversation and pretend that we don't know everything that's going on. You know, like the old days.

He said, you're so set in your ways. The old days. What you want, you want us to send up children up into, into space and like monkeys and for experimenting and stuff in, in spaceships.

I said, I don't think that ever happened. Maybe monkeys, but I don't think they ever sent humans, children up into space. She said, you know what I mean? I said, no, I really don't.

I think you've, I'm really, honestly, I'm not sure what it is you're, what you're trying to get at. She said, well, I'm trying to get at actually, bruv, bruv, bruv, is that the things weren't always better in the old days. I didn't say that things were better in the old days.

I just, um, it's not when it comes to Facebook, the idea of your thoughts, your initial thoughts, initial reactions, perhaps need to stay inside your brain and not be typed into a computer or on a phone and distributed for everybody to see. Unedited. It's not always useful.

Perhaps it's probably sneezing. What's going on with you, Andre? Why are you sneezing so much? If you caught a sneezy-weezy, even he's like, what? A sneezy-weezy? What the hell is that, dad? A sneezy-weezy, like a sneezy thing. He said, I'm not a child.

I'm nearly four years old. Why don't you get back to sending children up to space for experimentation? And never happened. Never happened.

Why are you siding with your auntie? Because I like her better than you. You're very, very childish, Andre. And you're not four.

You're not nearly four. It's August. You'll be four.

It's only March now. You've still got five months. Oh, aren't we, um, um, precise.

That took you a little bit too long, didn't it, to come out with that? Yeah, it did. Sounded like some monkey outside. Literally sounded like someone was going, like that.

I'm not doing this live either, so it's not like someone's listening. They're thinking, oh, Jason's doing that. Let's all stand outside and do monkey noises.

That'll show him. So today, I was so glad to get home. So glad.

But I was so tired as well. I needed to eat and just, just do what I needed to do, you know. Eventually, I did fall asleep.

And I missed the Prime Minister's speech thing that she was going to do. So I thought I'd just lay down for half an hour, but I was, I must have fallen asleep for about an hour. But that's all right.

Just keeping track of all the parliamentarian stuff that's going on at the moment. What else did I do lately? I had quite a busy day with the old, uh, podcast. I had over 1,300 downloads yesterday.

So that's quite nice. I don't know how, what's, what the progress is on March so far, because we're only, it's the 13th today. So we're not even halfway through, are we? But that would be interesting to see what the stats are, because January 2019, my podcast stats were 26,258.

February, that's the downloads and plays together. February 2019, 31,534. And that was the downloads and plays together.

So that's what, over 5,000 additional downloads and plays from January to February. So I'm guessing it's going to be kind of a similar situation. It'll definitely be more than February, but I'm supposed probably 36,000 in March.

So I'm guessing it's going to be and then April, it might grow more than 5,000 a month, but just aim, just based on the minimum. 30, so 36 in March, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41. So 41,000 in April, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 46,000 in May, June, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51.

So June, by June, I'll have 50, over 50,000 downloads and plays a month. So that's pretty good. 50,000 a month, which means, is that right? I don't know.

Yeah, because by the end of January, February, 30, 35, so 50. Yeah, I'll be about 80. By the end of December 2019, I'll probably have about 80 plus thousand downloads and plays a month, probably more realistically about 100, maybe even more.

So I need to convert that month into weekly during the next year. So during 2020, that 100,000 a month needs to turn. Did you hear that? People love their horns, don't they? On their cars.

Very lazy. A lot of people are very lazy. They don't like getting out of their cars to pick people up anymore.

I remember, I remember when I was a kid, taxi drivers used to get out of their car and knock on your door to let you know that they're there. Then they started bibbing their horns. And now you get a text through on your phone to tell you that the cab is there with the registration number.

That really was a boring story. So if I can turn 100,000 a month into 100,000 a week by the end of 2020, so that'll be, well, we've got 5 million during that year. And then 2021, I can turn that 100,000 a week into 100,000 a day.

And that's when I could potentially earn a living out of this. But that is quite a lot of people that will be listening to me. I mean, 5 million is quite nice, isn't it? Over a year.

But 100,000 a day would be what? 3 million a month. So that's 36 million. Wait a minute.

300,000 a day. So it's 3 million a month. 3 million a month.

36 million downloads and plays a year. It's not that much, really. And you spread out over the year.

And so there's potential, you know. I'd like to get there a little bit quicker, but everything takes time. So yeah, that's kind of my plan.

100,000 by the end of the year, a month. And then next year, 100,000 a week by the end of the year. And then the following year, 100,000 a day.

And then should we go 100,000 an hour? No. No, that'd be quite... I'd be able to pay my rent, buy my food, all kinds of stuff like that. I'd be groovy.

But more importantly, be able to reach an audience and help people. That's the most important thing, hopefully. Send lots of people to sleep.

Don't forget, it's not just the new stuff they're listening to. It's all the old stuff. I've got over 900 recordings for people to listen to in my back, not my back passage, my back catalogue.

So there's a lot of stuff to listen to. Anyway, I'm going to go now. Yes, I am.

I need a little sleep. Yeah, I do. Andre's run off as well.

So you take care and I'll speak to you next time. Bye.