#87 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (30th January 2019)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. Only listen to this or watch this video when you can safely close your eyes and please subscribe, like, follow, share, comment and what else? Oh yeah, this is a let me bore you to sleep recording or video if you're watching on YouTube. So I've done a few of these and the point behind them is that I talk and the more I talk the more bored you get with what I'm talking about and the more bored you get with what I'm saying the more you want to just close your eyes and fall asleep which is why you should only listen when you can safely close your eyes because this drowsiness session may cause drowsiness.

Yeah, so hope you're well. I'll be there. This is about the only recording that I can yawn on, you know, the sleep ones.

Oh, I've got itchy ear. So the weather forecast have been promising snow, you know, where I live would be supposed to be snowing. It was supposed to snow last week.

It didn't and then it was supposed to, I mean they made quite a big deal about it as if, you know, we're gonna have a lot snow and it's supposed to be snowing yesterday afternoon and it didn't and then we're supposed to wake up with snow on the ground. Well, I'm awake and there's no snow on the ground and there's a blue sky. So often I might check my reception on my television to make sure I've got the right country because they're so wrong.

Mind you they did say it was gonna be wet. Yeah, I live in England. I think you can pretty much say it's possibly gonna rain.

You can say that all year round and eight out of ten times you're gonna sort of be right. It's quite a wet and damp country at times. Oh, I'm gonna lay down.

I don't normally lay down when I do this. Oh, my hip just clicked. I know my hip clicking is probably not a great sign of how well I'm doing age-wise but it feels quite nice.

I don't think it's my hip or my back but I'm laying back on my bed but sideways. Not me being sideways but as if sitting on the edge of the bed I was. And now I've I've just leant back and I've got a pillow underneath my head.

Yeah, it's quite nice, quite relaxing but I've got to be careful that I don't fall asleep because there is a good chance that I could. I've made recordings in the past where I have fallen asleep and I've had to edit it or re-record it. I suppose, really, that's quite a promising sign, isn't it? But, yeah, although I'm comfortable I don't know if this is unusual for someone of my age but I think I've got quite firm buttocks.

I actually can tense them and they're quite muscular and I'm not skinny so I think that's quite a good thing at 48 to be able to tense my buttocks. Do you know that in the same way that you ever see people, like men, that have like really big chests they basically have breasts, you know, like they're bodybuilders and they can make the muscles on their chests move up and down. I'm a bit like that with my buttocks.

I've got no idea why I'm telling you this. I guess I'm running out of things to say but that will never stop me. I ran out of things to say ages ago but, you know, I keep going because that's the point of this.

I was talking to someone on, I think, Facebook or something and I yawned and it triggered them to feel tired because it reminded them of my recordings where I've yawned a lot. I just realised I've touched the microphone so please forgive me there. I'm gonna sit up.

I think I was bashing the microphone. It's not a euphemism. I've got the microphone, what's it called? Lapel? Lapel microphone? Lapel.

It sounds a bit French, doesn't it? It's attached, well, I don't know what a lapel is, the area around your neck, I suppose, like a collar or something. Anyway, I've got it attached to that area. It's more where my breastbone is.

It's more where my breast, it's kind of where my breastbone area is. It's not right on my collar. It's not on my collarbone so it'd be, I don't want to touch it again but, yeah, more, I suppose, further down the collarbone to the breastbone between that area.

It's not close close but I don't need it to be right in my mouth but at the same time I don't really want to be tapping it either or banging it. So apologies if it was muffled or banged or, you know, you heard scratching sounds or anything like that. Uh, not so much apologies for the sound but just apologies because I'm not going to bother editing it because I can't be arsed.

So, yeah, that's kind of, that's where I am with that. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So what did I do yesterday? Well, I made two recordings and did the, um, you know, the standard editing, downloading, uploading, downloading, uploading, sharing, converting to videos, all that stuff, which takes all day, the process.

I think the last video was uploaded to YouTube probably just before midnight. That's how long it takes. It's a process, really is a process.

It's a lot of, uh, faffing around that goes into it. In some ways the recording part is the easiest part. There's all the other stuff connected to it and putting it onto my website and just remembering as well, trying to remember what I've done because I don't keep notes.

I just try and remember what needs to be done based on repetition, I guess. And in between doing that and sleeping, I was also working on my website on the marketing promotional side of it. So yeah, that's, uh, that's a big, a big task, which I won't go into, but it's, yeah, it's, I kind of know what I'm doing now.

I think more than I did with the SEO. What does that stand for? Simply eat oranges, something like that. Uh, so it's about optimizing your website search engine optimization.

I think it's, and it's about getting your website so that the search engines find it among the billions of pages, web pages that are online. And I've played around and tested out some stuff over the years. And there's a few things that seem to always work.

So I'm kind of doing that at the moment. And the thing is to remember it's, it's a little bit like, uh, it's not really like taking a Viagra pill, uh, but it's not instant results. You know, you need to take it.

Uh, it's this, you know, the results happen, but it's not necessarily straight away. And I've never taken a Viagra template. Apparently you can get them over the counter.

Now you don't need to get a prescription or, you know, it's because they used to be think prescription only at one point in England anyway, but with the SEO, the search engine, uh, what was the O stand for? Option optimization. You don't get to experience the results straight away. It can take weeks, months even before, you know, you see the results, but it's worth it.

And yeah, so I'm kind of in the process of working on, it's kind of, I think of it as the backend of the website. So I'm working on the backend. So it's something that you never get to see, but it's really important work as far as promotional stuff goes.

So I'm quite pleased with the way the website's going. So far this month, January, 2019, I have recorded 32 sessions. That's 32 videos, 32 mp3 summer podcasts.

And today's date is, it's Wednesday. I think it's the 30th because I think tomorrow, Thursday is the 31st. I'm pretty sure Friday is the 1st of February, 2019.

So I've got 30. If I do two today, two tomorrow, which means I've done 36 recordings, which isn't a lot, but considering I was unwell for a week and I didn't get much done at the beginning of the month, then I feel it's all right. Next month, I want to have done at least 60 during February.

So that's only two a day. It's not a lot. And then March, I may aim for three a day during March.

You see where I'm going with this. Now, I'm not sure where the what the limit is because it's not so much, it's not based necessarily on how many sessions I can do in a day. It's also very much a matter of how many recordings can I edit and upload and share and how many recordings can I convert into videos and make videos out of.

Bearing in mind that each video takes hours to render. The Let Me Bore You To Sleep sessions, which are usually about an hour long, take probably three hours to render as a video to, you know, convert to make into a video. And it's usually about five gigabytes worth of data.

Well, you know, it's a big old file. So it's realistically if I can continued and I ended up doing in October, I'm doing 10 recordings a day. Realistically, I'm not going to be able to perhaps make 10 videos a day.

And to make 10 recordings a day, that's, that's still, that's a lot. It's a lot to do. But then, you know, if I was aiming at just only doing it for one month and then November doing 11 and December doing 12 a day, but knowing it's just for one month, maybe I could do it.

Maybe it is possible just as a, like a target, you know, but I wouldn't be able to do lots of long sessions, but it would give me the opportunity to spread my wings a little bit and to do more different things, to focus on other stuff, to do more pain relief videos would be something that I'd very much like to do and do intend to do that as well. So maybe I could go back to doing more of that as well, making a video and perhaps perhaps recording the audio at the same time separately so that the pain relief video maybe lasts 10 minutes. I upload it and it's, you know, I do it on with myself showing my face so that it uploads quicker.

It doesn't take as much time and a 10 minute video wouldn't take more than about 15, 20 minutes to upload to YouTube. So it's quite an easy process if I did that. I did more of that kind of stuff rather than, uh, cause at the moment I'm doing these videos and they've got like candle flickering, which is a video that I made myself.

And although it might seem that there's nothing there, it actually is a video of a candle flickering. You know, it's not a still picture that might look like a still picture at times, but it's not. And none of the videos that I've made recently have been still pictures.

They've all been actual moving videos. I've got one of a lava lamp that I use for the daily hypnosis sessions and it's just, you know, a lava lamp, it's purple and you can see the lava moving around and it's nice. I like it, but I'm going to look at some other, other options.

And I think I bought the lava lamp before Christmas. I'm pretty sure I did. And I was filming it before Christmas.

Pretty sure. And also the, the candles. Yeah.

I'm pretty sure I got them before Christmas because there is Christmas decorations around and I'd like to get more, um, um, objects. I was thinking about getting a, do you know those little, I don't know what they call them, money boxes or, uh, you know, the boxes where you open it up and music plays and a character starts dancing around, like maybe ballet or something like that. And it just turns around and is it called a music box? I thought about getting, getting something like that, but maybe getting an original, not, not an antique shop, but like a secondhand shop and finding some old, old thing that I could perhaps play, maybe edit out the music side of it and just have the, the music box just moving continuously around for 20 minutes or an hour or something.

And then I can just add my audio recording to it. Another thing I thought about is, do you know those things and you see, I see them on television, sometimes movies, because I watch movies on television as well, but the, they're like these metal balls and you let one go and it knocks one ball, then it knocks the other balls and then they move back again and it just keeps going, just keeps moving from one end to the other. The balls keep banging each other and, and the balls are very smooth and shiny and they just keep, um, um, is it perpetual motion? Is it, that's what it's called? It just keeps going, ping pong, ping pong.

It doesn't make that sound, but that's the sound that I imagined that it would make, ping pong, or maybe ooo, ah, ooo, ah. It's kind of a yin yang kind of thing going on, I would imagine. So I thought that would be good, but then I'm thinking maybe, maybe I could just make some more videos where it's me on the screen and it might be a little bit easier, but then I don't know because I've been doing some research online with YouTube videos and I, I don't know if I'm better off having a video of a, you know, a candle or something like that.

So I think that might be more popular than showing my face. I'm not sure, I'm not sure. I used to do these, well I used to, I'm talking, talking as if it's like years ago, but I haven't done one for a little while, but I used to regularly do these let me bore you to sleep videos live, but it was a little bit distracting in a sense of not really knowing what to say, because I'd start talking and then someone would post a message and I kind of, sometimes the messages were unusual and not, didn't really fit in with what I was talking about.

Sometimes it was just hello, but again, if it was on, if I was in the flow and then just to stop and say, oh, hello Bob, and then carry on talking again, it's, you know, doesn't necessarily work for me. But one night I did these, did like a live let me bore you to sleep and I don't know what on earth happened, but I was bombarded by, well not bombarded, but I had a lot of people come on that I'd never heard of before and start asking all kinds of weird, weird questions about a sofa that was supposedly for sale and they said that it'd come through from, not Gumtree, what's that website named after a person where people sell stuff and sell services and Derek?

No, I forget. But anyway, they, they said, oh yeah, we saw your advert about the sofa on Derek.com and then the questions that came after that were very, very unusual and not something I could even repeat here.

You know how I like to repeat things. Repetition is my skill. Repetitive, repetitiveness, repetitive, repetiting.

So yeah, it's, so I've had some very strange experiences doing the live ones and it's been really lovely as well, most of the time. And I know some people out there would love me to do the live let me bore you to sleep every day, but it's just not that, it's not that simple. Maybe it could be, maybe it doesn't have to be that complicated.

Maybe I could just do that, but I find I can be a bit more boring when I've got no distractions, if that makes any sense. I think sometimes, I think sometimes when people are asking me questions, I just become, I become too interesting. It's like, become interested with Jason.

Let me keep you awake with my interesting life, would be the new title. Hearing neighbours chatting. I put the wrong bags out for rubbish.

I put the recycling bags out instead of the black bin bags. Because I genuinely thought it was the recycle day. So I'm going to have to go and put them back into the rubbish bin.

Now that was boring. That was a conversation that you wouldn't want to last. That has to be a very short sort of statement.

But imagine it's like, well, tell me more. So that bores me when people want to hear about me. And it's, it's a very weird thing to say when you consider that I spent the last, I spent 87 hours probably doing these recordings talking about me.

But if someone actually asks me, tell me about yourself. It causes me to fart. And I struggle, I just don't, I don't find, what do you want to know? I'm a human being, I eat, I poo, I sleep.

I don't do much. I just don't know what to say in that situation. It's like I don't find it interesting to talk about myself.

Not like that way. Although I do want to talk about myself. It's a strange one, isn't it? I think it's not that I want to talk about myself.

What I want to talk about is the online service that I do. You know, the recordings, videos, audios, the website. That's the thing that I want to talk about.

So if anyone meets me, that's the only thing that I'm interested in outside of maybe a television program that I like to watch. So if you're watching The X Factor at the same time that I'm watching The X Factor, we can talk about the contestants. And it's an interesting conversation for me.

And talk about the weather, that's a mildly interesting conversation, because that's part of my heritage. My culture is talking about the weather. I'm quite interested in politics.

I've been following the political system in my country quite closely for the last few years. The thing is, if you talk to someone about politics, it's just, you might as well just sit down and just say, okay, let's just get emotional and just regurgitate old opinions that we have. And I don't think that's always useful.

Not always. Not always useful. Not always.

My plan in life is to reduce those limited thinking, those limiting opinions. That's what I hope to do. And on that note, I'm going to the toilet.

Speak to you next time. Bye.