#77 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (13th January 2019)

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com My name is Jason Newland, this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep number 77 I do believe. So thank you for joining me in the celebration of a series of recordings that have clearly gone on way too long. 77, that's a lot, it's a lot.

Imagine eating 77 Weetabix, you know, that's a lot of Weetabix, all balancing 17, no 77 or other pizzas on your head. Ah, but you may say, but are the pizzas still in the boxes? Because I suppose if you've got a good balance, the 77 pizzas on the boxes could potentially balance on your head. But if they were out of the box, they'd take up a lot less room.

It's still a lot though, isn't it? 77. I mean, if you got, I was going to say 77 beer mats, but I don't even know if beer mats exist anymore. I haven't been inside a pub or drunk beer and in a pub for many a year.

But it used to be a thing where I used to balance beer mats, not you, but people and I'd flip them, flip beer mats and stuff. Oh, before I go any further, I should just let you know to only, only, let's say this in an exciting voice, only ever listen or watch this when you can safely close your eyes. That sounds a bit, uh, one of those like forced hypnotic voices there.

Only ever listen to this when you can safely close your eyes, because you will realize that when your eyes start to close, that you can really be more in touch with those feelings of comfort and relaxation and calmness that naturally overtake your body, causing you to just drift, really drift deeper and deeper into a sense of, oh, such a profound sense of there, there, there, there. So yeah, so I got excited there. So, um, I had a friend who was the, he was the, what is it? Guinness book record breaker.

Wasn't the only one, obviously, otherwise there wouldn't be a book with that. There'd just be a one name. Uh, but he was, he was really into it proper.

He broke many records and they were all kind of, uh, quite unusual records. So they weren't, none of them involved mountaineering or, you know, those kinds of things. And none of them were physical as in being the tallest or being the heaviest or, you know, being the strongest.

So what he did was he had these really flexible hands and they used to call himself Dextrous Dean. And, um, he held the world record. This is back in, when I first met him was in 1988.

And he held the world record at that time for the most amount of beer mat catches. Like this is in the world, he held the record. So the idea is you stack beer mats up on top of each other.

I guess that's the stacking means, I suppose. And then you put them onto the edge of a table and then you flick them with your hand facing downwards and then you catch them with your hand. And he held the world record for the most ever.

And I think a few people broke his record and then he kind of claimed it back. So he had that record. He also held the world record for the most amount of coins caught from an elbow.

So balancing coins on your elbow and then catching them with your hand. And he was on television loads all over the world, attending, you know, various different Guinness Book of Record events, as well as breaking records. He was on the Record Breakers, which was a television show in England, which Roy Castle used to host.

And then the lady, is it Cheryl Fuzz? Not Fuzz. Cheryl. She was from Bucks Fizz.

Cheryl. Cheryl. Cheryl from Bucks Fizz.

She used to host it as well after he, I think she hosted it at the same time as him at one point. So he also, I remember going around there one day and he was practicing on a dart board, you know, just chucking darts at a dart board. And I said, what's that? What are you doing? He said, I'm chucking darts at a dart board.

I said, yeah. He said, he said he's practicing for a new world record. Oh, what's that? And it was the most amount of bullseyes in a minute or I don't know, whatever period of time.

I don't know if he ever got the world record. Yeah. That's a bit of a, it's not a great ending to a story, is it that? Yeah.

It's like telling you about someone that's going to climb up a, I don't know, up a mountain. I know. I don't know.

I've got to figure out mountains at the moment and going into detail about all the preparations and then not actually telling you how they got on. Although I've watched movies like that, not about mountaineering because it's not really an interest of mine. Been a lot of snow in Europe, lots and lots of snow.

But the weather forecast in my country is saying mild, mild, six degrees, seven degrees. It's cold, but still it's not, it's not like snowy temperature and no snow. No, it's not coming here yet.

It's not on its way yet. And the first sign of snow in England and everything stops. Everything.

I'm talking the, every public transport service kind of gets interrupted. You know, planes, trains, buses. I'm trying to think of some other public transport services.

What is there? Buses, trains, planes, I suppose taxis, although it's not, it's a public service, but it's not a public transport. It's kind of is a little bit, isn't it? So taxi services, obviously they're limited by the traveling abilities. Trying to think of what other services, I suppose if you live in the West end of London, you know, Oxford street, you got the, not wigwams, what are they called? The, you know, the bicycles, rickshaws.

Yeah, rick, rickshaws. So you got those, that's like public transport, I suppose. I remember when I used to live in East London and you can't park anywhere.

It's just, it's the roads are just, they're not built, they're not built for traffic really. It's especially the roads where the houses are, you know, it's, it's silly, but it's such a tiny, tiny road, some of them. So I used to go to the taxi office, the cab office, mini cab office, whatever you want to call it.

And I remember I was going up to, I think I was going up to, not Twickenham, Ealing. I was going up to Ealing because I'd met someone that lived in Ealing, a girl, and I was visiting her. She was a student nurse and she was from Hungary.

And that's what she said when she called me up. She told me she was hungry. She wanted me to come over.

So I did. And I remember I went to the cab office and I said, can I have a cab, please? I always wonder about that. I was like, why else would I be there? It's like when I phone up for pizza, I'll phone in for a pizza delivery, please.

Why else would I phone them? It's like, I wish there was another way to open the conversation. You know, it's like next time I phone a pizza and they answer Domino's, I say, yeah, this Brexit just needs to be sorted out, doesn't it? And they could say, yeah, so what do you want to order? And then, you know, or they could just say, what do you want to order? What do you want? Just get straight to it. Then there's the pizza places.

They're just dodgy now. They're run by dodgy people because they're franchises. By dodgy, I mean, not all of them, just my local one seems to be, it's all about money.

They kind of make up their own prices. It used to cost £10 for a large pizza to be delivered to me. Now it's about £19.

Don't do special offers. It's like it's an inconvenience to deliver me. I realise this might not be the right place to be moaning about pizza places.

Last time I spoke to a pizza, this is last week, or no, well, yeah, kind of earlier in the week. So I wasn't able to eat because I wasn't well. And I thought maybe, maybe, maybe if I order a pizza, that'll give me some kind of an appetite.

So, you know, it's one of my favourite little snacks every now and then. I don't, I probably get a couple of deliveries a year, maybe, of pizzas because it's too expensive now. And, you know, so I got it.

I got a delivery. Actually, when it got here, I couldn't, I had, I think, two slices and then just, you know, you don't want to hear the rest, but yeah, it's, put it this way, the, the, the pizza had sweet corn on. I'm just, that's just going to give you a clue what happened pretty much directly after I ate the pizza.

But that's just because I was a bit unwell. The, I phoned up the pizza place and I said, I'd like, can I order, yeah, I think I said, can I order delivery, please? And the way it works in this country, if you're from America listening in, it's very different here. We are very, oh, I need to have a drink, very, um, the opposite to customer based.

So if you go into a shop, you'll more likely find that the people serving in the shop act like they're doing you a favor by selling you stuff. The delivery people act like they might be doing you a favor by actually taking your credit card and taking your money. In some ways, some companies actually make it complicated to pay bills, make it difficult to actually give them your money when that's all you want to do.

You have to run through hoops and be on the phone for ages. And yeah, all I want to do is give you money. Can't you just take my money, please? I know that might seem a bit alien to some people, you know, that are used to good customer service, but we don't really have that here in this country.

I'm sure we have individuals, you know, but it's not really about customer service here. It's about, uh, I think a lot of companies just getting the people that they can employ at the cheapest rate. So, you know, you get someone under 18 and it costs like two or three pounds less an hour to employ them.

And yeah, it's just, uh, I think that's kind of unfair. Why should someone that's been working, especially if they've left school, they're working, doing exactly the same job as somebody two years or three years older, get paid three pounds an hour less. That's ridiculous, isn't it? I mean, that's what, that's 40 hours.

That's for a 120 pound a week less. That's 6,000 pounds a year less less just because of their age being younger. Wow.

Wow. Just trying to think how I got here. I never get to talking about salaries and wages and pizzas.

Oh, I'm probably never going to eat another pizza. I know that I'm never, ever going to have another tea cake ever. So, you know, it's quite strange.

My, uh, my taste buds have somewhat changed the last week due to the, uh, whatever it is I had. My, uh, yeah, I, I'm never going to be able to, I don't think even look at a hot cross bun ever again. I can't eat them.

Can't. Just the idea of them. Uh, what else? We should be quite good actually.

Imagine it's a great way to get rid of a, um, a habit or worse even, you know, something that's kind of costing loads of money and an addiction or something like that. Um, I had no smoking or whatever, but just being, just feeling absolute disgust for that thing. Yeah.

We're thinking about this year. So I went to bed about eight o'clock last night, just after eight. And I'd just woken up about half two this morning.

And instead of just staying in bed, I thought, um, I'll just get up. Had a little bit of breakfast. I might as well make a, make a recording.

It would take a few hours to, to, till it's ready to be uploaded anyway. As a video usually takes about three hours to, to render from a video because it's an hour long once the editing's done and everything. Um, see how good the editing is on this? It's because I did a massive sneeze just about 10 minutes in and that's going to be edited out and you will never know it was there.

Never trust what you listen to. So easy to edit audio. Obviously you could hear what I'm saying, but you don't know what I said between words.

Just like then I could have just got into a rant about caterpillars and you never would have known because I just edited it out. Again, it was that pause. I could have said loads of stuff just then.

I could have talked about hats and bats and how embarrassed I am that I can only think of two things that rhyme with, with hats or one thing. Bats and hats. Tats, splats, mats.

Oh, you know what? I didn't mention this. This is exciting. Um, I had a knock on my door probably two or three days ago, probably first day I reckon.

Yeah. And, uh, for, oh, okay. I answered the door.

What do you want? And the lady said, it was a lady, she said, uh, sorry to disturb you. I said, that's, that's okay. What, um, what do you want? Well, first of all, just to let you know, I don't know.

She didn't talk like that. I'll just do a normal. First of all, let me tell you that I am from the council.

And she just said that she was from the council and, and they were cleaning the, or clearing the hallways of all the council blocks for health and safety. And she said, is there anything that you, that, that you need here? And I said, no, enough. It's enough.

I've got nothing left outside. I went out about two hours later, I think maybe to take Andre for a walk or to put some rubbish out, or maybe I could have might have just gone out to have a little like sit in the garden, which probably I didn't do. But there was, there was something, I went out anyway, briefly, and the hallways were clear, but not clear of items, that there wasn't any items really on my landing.

But they'd cleared all of the recycle stuff out. All the boxes where the recycling, the glass, the food recycling, and cans, all that stuff. Gone.

They took all of them away. They even took doormats away. What on earth was that all about? It's been some kind of doormat incident.

And I suppose, as I say that, I can imagine there probably could be, but some people like to have a doormat. I mean, other than just to sort of welcome guests, which I wouldn't have on my doormat because I don't want any guests. But the, it's nice to wipe the mud off your shoes, you know, just to practically, you know, especially if you've been walking your ferret in the mud, in the fields, or the park, or treading through our neighbor's gardens.

So it's, they've took them all away. So I'm going to try and spread my mud all over the floor. Make it ever so muddy.

Yeah, that's going to be my new thing. That's kind of an unusual thing, considering how important the news keeps coming on about recycling and how important it is that we should do it. My friend asked him what we're supposed to do.

And he was told we just stick stuff in black bags and just chuck it out as rubbish. The thing is, the rubbish that goes into black bags, in a lot of areas, it does in my area, they, when they take the black bags, they actually split the black bags open and they recycle anyway from the black bags. What a horrible job, but it's actually done.

It's by hand. I know someone that used to do it and what a horrible job. And that's all I can say.

It's got to be, he did say that it's amazing the things people chuck out, but I imagine it's also amazing the amount of things that people chuck out that's also mixed in with animal feces. So I know mine is, if I chuck stuff away, I've got Andre's paper and anything else I chuck away. So I wouldn't want to go through any of those black bags.

I'll be honest, if I dropped a pound coin into one of my black bags, you know, the bin by accident, I would not go into the bin to get it out. That pound would be lost. A five pound note, I might have a rummage, but not for a pound coin.

So yeah, I answered the phone to, not the door, the door, not the phone, to the council person. And when she said, from the council, we're clearing all the hallways and you don't need to recycle anymore. And I thought, I thought, I thought, oh, I wish I knew I was going to end this, this story.

And I said to her, oh, I'm not, not very well. She said, oh, I'm very sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better soon.

I said, thanks. Thanks. Bye.

Bye. So yeah, that was the wasp lady. She had, she did, she was actually, had a, a beehive in her mouth.

She didn't, a wasp, wasp, beehive. Doesn't have to make sense. Just has to be pointless, which is what this is.

This is kind of like the equivalent of, there was this thing years ago, I think it was early 2000s, because I had some, and this was, no, I'm not talking about the last time I had intimacy. I'm talking about the, this thing, it was juggling, but it was a book with some juggling balls. But the idea is that you drop the balls.

At certain times, the idea was that to take us away from this idea of perfection and needing to do things correctly. So I suppose in a sense, this is a similar thing because this complete nonsense that sometimes may flop out of my mouth will break apart some of that, that need, that, that kind of, oh, things should be a certain way. Things should be this way.

Things should be that way. That uptightness of limitation and actually things are what they are. They don't necessarily have to be a certain way to be able to have that.

I don't even know if the word is flexibility, really, just to have that thought, the idea of possibilities. That's why I think that it's so easy to learn about something, to be really knowledgeable about something if you only listen or read books or listen to people or spend time with people that agree with you, because life is a lot easier that way. Life is so easy, much easier if you're around people that agree with you, people that have the same, the same belief system and the same ideas and follow it to the letter without any exception, without any interruption, without any contradiction and without any kind of anything that would possibly interfere with that stuckness of that concrete belief that this is the only way without any challenge.

And life could be simple, so simple and easy, very little thinking involved because the thinking is already been done for you. You're good because you can have limited vocabulary as well so you can just say the same words over and over again and laugh at the same things every time. Yeah, it's great, brilliant.

Or, or you can look at the other point of view. You can study things and opinions that you disagree with. You can be friends with people that do things that you disagree with or that you just don't really relate to and have a different belief system, different religious outlook.

And that's challenging, to be around someone where you can't be right because neither of you can be right when you have opposing views because it just turns into just being a view, a belief, an opinion. That's it. I think the good thing about that is it starts to melt the strength of that limiting belief.

Starting to realize that actually someone else feels just as strongly about that thing and they seem quite happy or maybe they seem happier and they get to know people as well that don't have any of those hang-ups, religious or spiritual people that are able to accept reality and at the same time live a purposeful life. And that could be a challenge for people that need to have something external to believe in when some people can just trust in you doing what feels right to them.

I know someone that is very into, I'll be careful how I word this, very into women's rights and at the same time very kind of anti-male in quite an extreme way and searches out books by professors and feminist literature, searching out books which fit in with that belief system that she holds which allows that to get stronger because it's an educated belief and opinion based on education and reading scholarly articles.

And then it's not balanced though, is it? I kind of think if you're going to read stuff, if you're going to study a subject, maybe see the opposing view as well. And it might seem weird but if you're going to study feminism, extreme feminism, then study some misogynism as well. Read scholarly articles written by men professors about putting women down and all that stuff which I'm sure there are loads as there are books by women doing the same to men.

So that's how I would look at it, that's how I would be interested because I'm interested in the feminist, I'm interested in the feminist but at the same time I find it annoying and I dislike personally any extreme view. I'm very opposed to personally in my own life for myself, that is not for other people, it's up to them what they do, but for myself I'm opposed to any extreme view. I'm not an extremist in any way and extreme beliefs generally don't seem to lead anywhere nice, I find.

And I've met lots of people with extreme views on all kinds of angles, racist, sexuality, all kinds of things like that and again I think it's because it's more comfortable for them because then they can be around people that have those views, they can be part of a club, maybe meet up and eat biscuits, Kit Kats and coffee and maybe that's what they need because I suppose anyone with extreme views, if they've got friends or just regular friends that don't share these extreme views with them, they might need to hide their extreme view and then

maybe worry that one day it'll pop out and then they may lose the friend, so perhaps it is easier for them to just get together with other extreme view people.

Sometimes I find it's unusual to think that someone with extreme, I haven't got to even mention, we've all got different, we all know the different kind of people, someone with an extreme view would be getting together just having something to eat, some pizza, watching a bit of telly, yet carrying around that thing. So I like the idea of my sessions, my recordings, the hidden agenda, it's a little hidden agenda and it's not really hidden because I've mentioned it many times over the years.

My agenda is to relax that part of you that holds these strong limiting views and opinions and beliefs and starts to crumble them. I know some people might think, oh but I want to keep all my opinions and views, well about like, you know, where would my morals come from? Morals do not come from opinions and views, morals come from being a human being and having a brain that works. Being able to tell the difference to right and wrong is something that we naturally know.

Those that don't abide by those rules, choose not to. It's not that they have no choice, they choose not to. Generally, there might be a few that really, their brains aren't working in a way that's needed and I guess those people just need a little bit of help to be relieved from that situation.

So morally, we know not to steal. It's like even a small child knows that. We know not to hurt each other.

A small child knows that. It's not that complicated. We don't need laws for it.

We know, we all know. So that's why, that's kind of one of my goals in my life is to eradicate many, blast away as many limiting beliefs, opinions and ideas and, you know, any of that crap. I want it out.

I want it out. I want it gone. Whether it's limitations on myself, putting limitations on others, disliking things because they're different or because, you know, things like that.

I want that gone. It doesn't matter. I don't need that in my life.

I don't think any of us do. I think that's what freedom is for me. Not that I'm free but, you know, I think moving towards that is giving up on those limiting, forget limiting, beliefs.

Just beliefs. Extreme views. Even if it's a view where, you know, everybody, everybody should be vegan.

Everybody should go to the gym and be healthy so they live longer. It might be with good intention but you're going to be very unhappy if you spend your life expecting everybody to go to the gym and getting angry when people don't and having arguments with people and, you know, just knowing that you're going to spend the rest of your life never able to be right but needing to be. It's not a great place, is it, to be really.

I'm 53 minutes in. So yeah, that's what I like to do. I like to do different things.

I can talk about the internal design of a greenhouse I once went into 23 years ago on a Tuesday afternoon about 3.25. I can talk about lots of different stuff. I can make stuff up. I can talk about who knows what.

I can also talk about things that have a degree of meaning to me. And I think with the Brexit thing in my country, which is basically just Britain exiting Europe. Brexit.

Oh, I don't like that word. And it's, I don't know, it seems to have allowed the population to let their true feelings be known, to let the extremist beliefs out. Like it was in some way acceptable to verbalize these things publicly.

And it was, yeah, I found it a bit not the most helpful thing. Interesting. Interesting when you realize that actually perhaps the society hasn't really progressed as far as once was thought.

So instead of people being accepting and open with each other, they're just putting up with each other in some situations. This is saying in England that the English are very tolerant towards newcomers to the country. Doesn't tolerant mean putting up with something that you don't like? Doesn't that what tolerant means? Tolerant, putting up with something that is unpleasant, but you just don't do anything about it and don't say anything about it.

You just keep a stiff upper lip and make the best of a bad situation. That seems to be what the word tolerant means. It's not welcoming, is it? It's a big difference between the English people are very welcoming to newcomers to the country.

That's a different sentence, isn't it? They're very open, very welcoming, very loving towards. We're very tolerant. Even if you say it nicely, very tolerant.

And that's the thing. It's like a put down. When someone says, oh, oh, you two, you're good friends, are you? And one of you says, oh, we tolerate each other.

Yeah. This turned out being a hypno-chats. No, a hypnotic buffet.

But I can't be bothered to change the title. It just shows I've still got a few hypnotic buffets in me. I just didn't know it was coming.

I didn't know. So yeah, sorry about that. If you do listen to my stuff, those little extremist views and beliefs and stuff may start to crumble a little bit.

Yeah. Things look different. Things feel different.

And you know when things kind of crumble away and let's say if you're watching a building crumble and it's kind of crumbling in front of you, you might be a distance away safely. But every rock that falls down or every brick that falls out of that building causes dust and it kind of makes you cough a bit, maybe gets in your eyes. With the belief system as a difference, it's a different way.

Once these extreme views and extreme beliefs start to crumble, instead of getting dust, which causes you to cough or gets in your eyes, which causes irritation, it sends off something different, which actually kind of causes kindness, like a kindness comes off, which you start to feel like a kindness slash love, openness. So we'll get a taste of what you can have more of actually. And that kindness is real.

And that sense of looseness and relaxation and it's real stuff. It's not just put on or temporary. It's part of you.

It's transformational. And the more those self-limiting beliefs start to crumble, the clearer your mind becomes, less clouded with problems from the past or thinking that this should be that way and you should feel this way about stuff and other people should act a certain way. Your need to be right starts to reduce.

There's an old saying, you can't be happy and right. You need to choose. If you want to be happy, give up the need to be right.

It's not my saying, although I'm going to pretend it is. Yeah, it's mine. I have a dream.

No, I don't. I thought I'd do another one of my sayings. I like the idea of the crumbling beliefs causing a reaction of feeling good, feeling relaxed, feeling happy, calm, loose and open.

Because if you think about it, there was a time when you could metaphorically run around and have no beliefs, no extreme beliefs. And then you learned these things from outside and you stood and more mud was applied on the floor. And at first it was just a heaviness.

The mud from the floor was just dragging your feet to the floor. It was a bit heavy. I've got to be this.

I've got to be that. I've got to be a certain way. I need to look a certain way.

I need to act a certain way. I need to have these qualifications or I need to believe in this religion or I need to believe in this and blah, blah, blah. And then it turns to, it just gets a bit too hard to keep picking your feet up from the mud.

So you just settle in. It's comfortable. Everything's kind of planned.

You've got your belief systems, they're all there. And then the mud just starts to get deeper and deeper and you end up up to your waist in that mud and you're going nowhere. That's it.

Until the mud starts to crumble, the mud starts to crack and the wind can blow that dust, that mud off of your body. But at the same time soaking into your body that healing, that calmness, that openness and freedom, kindness and love. And just allow that to continue crumbling away bit by bit, day by day, beliefs that are no longer necessary.

And those can beliefs, they can be something that you might have even forgotten, a belief that maybe someone told you that you couldn't do something. Someone said, oh, you can't do that. And you believe them.

And it's buried sin in that belief bag of poo that's been surrounding you. And you just forgot about it. And you've been living your life as if it's true, but it's not.

When that belief appears again and crumbles, you realize that actually you can do that thing that you believed for so long you weren't able to. And then you can ponder upon that idea that somebody else maybe said something to you and you believed it. Like their words were important in some way.

And you may wonder, why did you allow yourself to give someone else power over you when the only person that has any power over you is you. And things start to change day by day. You start to realize that you're more than you ever realized.

You can do more than you ever believed possible. You can be happier than you ever imagined. So that's the end of this.

Let me bore you to sleep. Bit of a different version of this thing that I do. And I will see you next time.

Bye.