#27 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (21st June 2018)

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. This is let me bore you to sleep number something. I'm not sure what number I'm on at the moment.

I only listen to this or watch this video if you're watching on YouTube. When you can safely close your eyes and allow yourself to be bored into a sense of comfort and calmness blah blah blah blah blah blah. You know when I was a back in the days when I was a counsellor I always had this little fantasy and I never did it but it was I thought it would be a funny thing to do is to just stand up at the end of the session just put my coat on and just walk out and not even say goodbye.

I mean it wouldn't be funny for the other person perhaps but just as an inappropriate thing to do. Anyway that's not really relevant to this. I'm quite tired myself.

I've had a couple of days of unusual sleeping activity and I've been awake since, I don't know what time, about 10. Why did I sleep that late? I mean it's just gone 12 o'clock midnight. I've been up since about 10 this morning but I didn't have much in the way of sleep during the night because I've been spending a lot of time in bed because I wasn't feeling particularly well.

I just had a clementine as well and it's got a bit of a semi health kick going on. So I'm going to try to eat more vegetables and fruit and things like that. So I bought some, I'm not sure how many clementines I got in there in the packet.

They're not really packets are they? They're kind of bags but with holes in like wire, wire bags but not wire like little sacks don't they? If you know what I mean you can see through them and you have to sort of rip them open to get to the tangerines or clementines, yeah clementines. There's a special offer going on where you could get, I think it was one bag for £2 or two bags for £3. So I thought well do I want that many? So I was in Iceland, so it's a shop, I didn't travel long distance just to get some clementines.

It was a fair distance but it was a shop, it was local-ish and I was just standing there thinking well is it worth, would I eat that many? Would I eat, it's got to be at least one, two, three, four, five, six, at least six, maybe even eight clementines per bag. That's quite a lot to get through but I thought I'd give it a go. It's not really a gambler but I thought on this occasion and something as important as this you know, citrus fruits, it's an important, it could be life-changing.

So I thought yeah, it's vitamin C isn't it? I need to have to be careful though because they can get quite squirty aren't they? Clementines are quite squirty and you don't want that stuff spraying in your face so she gets in your eyes. Stings, really stings. So I've got some clementines, they're in the cupboard now.

I just had one just now before doing this, starting this recording, had a clementine and on the packet it said, it said Easy Peel and actually that's the title of them. So I don't know what country they buy them from but it's weird that there's actually a specific brand called Easy Peel clementines. I thought they'd be the most popular.

So I guess there must be some, some types of clementines that are just really, really difficult to peel. But these ones, they're not like the chocolate, you know the chocolate eggs, you know the, the orange eggs. I forget what you call them but it's like the chocolate and they come in the shape of a, you know, round kind of orangey shape wrapped up and you kind of got to bash it.

You got to bash it in order to, to get what you want out of it. You just, you bash it a bit and then it breaks up and you can pull the things apart because otherwise it's stuck together. So I like them but they're a bit too much, a bit too, I can have maybe one or two little pieces but they don't, they don't satisfy my chocolate needs.

I don't know if it's the flavour, I don't know, maybe the orange feels a bit too close to health food. You know, I think chocolate and healthiness don't seem compatible somehow. You know, I don't want the chocolate that tastes like arsenic, you know, I don't want it to taste like horrible or anything.

Just, I quite like mint but again not, I like after eight mints and the, is it matchmakers? The ones where they're, they're like tweaks, you know, they're like long, long thin bits and they're crispy with mint. You can get orange ones as well I think but I do like the, the mint flavoured ones.

But after eight mints, I don't know if you've ever had them or wherever you live, they're basically in a oblong packet and I'm not sure if it's a culture thing, if it's just like an English thing or whether people do it in other countries because I don't, I've not really, I've not really lived really any other countries, really briefly in Ireland for a little bit but, and Bognor, technically it's not another country but if you've ever been there, it's, it is and it's nice, nice place actually.

And the after eight mints, they're like in this oblong packet and I must, for me it's like a traditional English thing or British thing. Again, I don't know if they have, if they have them in Scotland or Wales, you know, so I really don't know if they, all I know is that I was kind of brought up, I was brought up in London, I was brought up in England but I did live in Newcastle, I lived, so that's the north, but I spent most of my life in the south. But I think it's like a, the whole of the country kind of has these after eight mints.

It's really strange, I know that you might not find this very exciting but I'm feeling quite excited about it because it's a traditional thing for me. It actually, something like that actually means, it means something to me, has meaning, like an emotional meaning. It's not just chocolate in itself because that's, they are particularly beautiful, these, it's a personal preference but it's dark chocolate and it's mint inside, like a mint gel kind of, they're very thin, kind of wafer thin kind of, and they come in these little envelopes, these little, so they're kind of black slim envelopes, so they come in and they're all slid into these little and slots.

It's a little bit like, I imagine, I wanna, in some ways I think of it in a sense of it's, what I only imagine is in a, I don't know, some kind of hospital environment where they're got slides with bacteria on or something and they're all slid down and they're kind of thin but in a more Christmassy chocolate way as opposed to, you know, something I don't, you know, I don't know, whatever it could be, that it could be collecting samples for, various strains of whatever, dribbles and stuff but but after eight mints are really beautiful.

I don't know if you have them where you live, go Google it, have a look online, maybe not now because of course you're entranced into falling into a deep sleep through my boring conversations which is wonderful but these after eight mints, they're really, really, really, really nice and I can, I can eat a lot of them because they just melt. Of course anything melts if you've got a hot enough surface but I don't mean they melt as in, you know, hold it over a candle, no, no, or Bunsen burner, no, I mean when you put them in your mouth they seem to just dissolve.

So not so much melt, more dissolve, more connecting with the tongue and some kind of magic happens as if your tongue serves, yeah, becomes a serving dish for these beautiful little chocolate treats and your entire, all your taste buds and your body can enjoy the sensation of that little bit of mint and dark chocolate. I haven't had any chocolate for three days, I'm not sure if that's coming across, that seems to be affecting my, what I talk about, a little bit of a craving for chocolate at the moment but it's okay, I've had a pregnancy test and everything's fine.

So I had a weird few days but I won't go into much detail but I ended up going to the doctor's and doctor said, well actually what it was is I was going to the shop to get some food.

So I went into the shop, waited for the bus, went into the shop, I was with my friend and we decided to get some food and he got what he wanted and I got what I wanted and then we paid for it. Everything kind of went to plan really as far as that, I mean it was the point where I was trying to decide whether or not to pay £3 for two bags of clementine or just the one bag but there wasn't that much I needed to get. I got a cucumber, it's quite a big cucumber actually and one, two, three, four, six tomatoes but it was a packet of six tomatoes.

So I got them and a cucumber and what else did I get? So I got the clementines, two packets. I chose, decided to go with the two packets and I got a packet of bananas but I think there was only four bananas in the packet. Bananas have become a lot more expensive lately I found.

I tinkered with the idea of maybe getting an apple or a few apples but they didn't seem to have any and well I don't think so. Then as I was trying to look somebody else came up to the vegetable sort of area and was also looking at stuff and I just, I just didn't, I felt it was time for me to move on really. I kind of felt like I'd used up my allotted time studying the various products available so I just, just, just move on.

What else did I get? So I got some bread, I got a bit of, got a few little sandwich bits because I'm mainly eating sandwiches at the moment and then I got myself some milk and you know I haven't had any hot cross buns or tea cakes for I think since Thursday, maybe Friday, maybe Saturday or Sunday, I can't remember but not for a few days anyway. So I thought I'd treat myself. I suppose in some ways it's not really a treat if it's something you do regularly, maybe, I don't know.

But you know as I was looking at these tea cakes I was thinking to myself, I want them and why not? I mean they're just tea cakes, it's not like I was, wanted to steal a police helicopter you know, this is just tea cakes, I paid for them. I think they were about one pound. So I don't know what that would be in your currency where you live because you might not live in England.

You may live in Leighton, you may live in Newcastle, they're English places. Shropshire, Shrewsbury, where else? Yeah you could live in those places or you might live in America, might live in Mountain View or in Phoenix, Arizona or Delaware, is that a shop? Or maybe you live in France. If you live in France, I do wonder those people that listen to me that live in other countries and I wonder is it people, so if someone in France is listening to me because I know I do, I have an audience in France and I wonder is it just, not just, but is it English people that live in France that are listening to me or is it French people that are listening to me?

And I'm happy whatever way, you know, either way it's all good for me.

I'm just pleased that someone's listening to me even though these seem a bit pointless in some ways but still, I still continue to do them. And I do wonder if the people in Russia, I've got people listening to me who live in Russia and is it, are you Russian or do you English and you live in Russia or maybe you're on holiday and you're just listening to me while you're on holiday or taking me with you, you know?

And people who are listening to me from Spain and Italy, I just always wonder, I have this little thing for just thinking because I know that with SoundCloud and I'm sure with all the podcasts, not all the views and all the stats are correct because, you know, I've been doing this for a long time and I notice trends and sometimes I'll upload a new session and I'll have a bunch of people within seconds start following me or, you know, and I'll say, well, and I'll go to them or they might like me, like my, you know, or something like that and I'll go to their page and it's an advert.

Their page is just an advert trying to sell and advertising something on their page.

They don't produce any sessions, they don't do anything, it's just an advertising, maybe an album or a song or, you know, something else on the internet. I do wonder about some of the pod hosts, whether or not they pay people to like and to visit and to follow people so that they continue to pay to use a service. So I do wonder if there's something going on there.

So maybe not all the plays that I get on SoundCloud are correct, maybe they're not. Same with Spreaker, I don't know. It's hard to know, really.

I know there's some are, I know there look quite a few are because I get the same people in the same areas, you know, week in, week out. So it's unlikely they've got the same, you know, they're going to pay someone to do that. And also some people tell me where they're from and what they're doing, they're listening to me from all that stuff.

I've got itchy neck. So yeah, I just, it's a thing that fascinates me. Just, just wonder where people are listening to me from.

Listening to me from, is that a correct sentence? I don't know where the audience is. But it's been an okay week or the last seven days I've had over 5000 plays and downloads. So based on that, it's about 250,000 a year.

It's growing, it's growing, growing, growing. I had an extra person download my free app for the Hypnotic Buffet. So I had that today.

So that was nice. I've now had three people download it in the last week. So based on that, I should have, so what's that? 52.

Yeah. If I continue this for the whole year, I might be able to get over a hundred. I had three and one person unsubscribed.

So it's two. So it's over a hundred a year. If it continues how it goes.

So it's not many, is it really? So I'm just going to keep my little eyes on that one and see what occurs with it, if anything. So yeah, I was in Iceland. I thought, well, why not just have some tea cakes? I like tea cakes.

And the ones they do in Iceland are particularly juicy. They've got a lot of fruit currants and stuff like that in there. Very nice.

And also cut already. They're already, I was going to say circumcised, but they're already ready to put into the toaster. So I don't have to put them under the grill.

I can just put them into the toaster because they're kind of evenly cut all the way through. Makes it a lot easier, you know, generally, which is nice. It's one of those little things that I have to treat myself.

You know, sit here and have a tea cake, a drink and just relax. And by drink, I don't mean alcoholic drink because I don't drink alcohol anymore. I don't like, I don't like alcohol anymore.

It doesn't really, it doesn't do anything for me at all. Never liked the taste anyway. But, you know, lager, I was never really much of a spirits person.

And I never got into the alcohol pops, you know, the stuff that tastes nice. Yeah. Cause I was just never got into that stuff really.

I tried it when it first came out, but so yeah, I just don't, not really into alcohol. Got nothing against it. I just don't really, doesn't really do anything for me anymore.

I used to drink regularly for years, just lager, nothing else. But yeah, so I was in getting the shopping and yeah, it's just very basic stuff really. So I got some milk and got some bread, got the tea cakes.

Did I mention about the tea cakes? Yeah. I decided to get some tea cakes. I also got some clementines.

It was, uh, so I was only going to get one packet because I think there's about eight, eight clementines in the packet. Oh, I nearly coughed in there, excuse me. And, uh, I think I'll fly just, oh, you know, the other day, the other day I was walking in the field with Andre and Andre's my little boy.

He's my favorite, but he's my son. So we were walking through the park or through the park. It wasn't a park.

It was, why are parks called parks? Cause you can't park in them because parks are usually places where families and people, pedestrians go walking on the grass. Don't generally have cars in there, do you? So I wonder why they call it a park. Anyway, I was in the field and it's near a, like a railway track.

I say near and it's pretty much very close. It's the railway is just the other side of it. It's not really the other side, but it's a fence and the railway is a bit higher up and it's quite, quite a distance.

It's not a long, a long way to get to the railway track, but it's, there's a lot of thistles and fossils and fancy stuff and, you know, trees and bushes and rabbits and, you know, very different things between the field and the actual railway track. So I was walking with Andre. He was getting quite hot, even though it was early evening.

He was, cause what happens is he, I let him go sometimes. I keep him on the lead, but I let him run free. That way, if he starts to sort of run off in the wrong direction, I can just put my foot down on the lead and stop him.

Otherwise I can just run after him or walk really quickly. And he gets a good exercise and he gets to run free, which is beautiful to watch. So I'm walking with him.

I think I'm holding his lead at this point. I won't say particularly it's relevant, but I think I was holding his lead. I think I had his lead in my left hand because we're walking down the field, like the edge of the field, but on the right hand side is where the railway track is.

So I'm holding him from the left because I suppose I'm trying to keep him away from the edge of the field. I'm not sure. He might have dictated that by his own particular movements on the day.

I don't really recall precisely how he was because he variates. Sometimes he keeps moving from one side to the next, which can be a bit hazardous really. I end up tripping over him and stuff, which I don't want to do.

So I'm just walking in. I'm walking with him. He's in front of me.

We might have been to the side. I think he was in front. He could have even been behind me.

I can't remember. I don't really recall. I think he was probably in front of me or to the side or behind one of them.

And a flying flew up my nose or something. I think it was, you know, I say fly because it was flying, but it wasn't like a, it wasn't a blue bottle or that kind of fly. It was something.

It wasn't a hornet either. I don't think a hornet would fit up there. I definitely wouldn't want one trying.

Anyway, I just thought I'd tell you that story. Andre's gone for a little walk. He's gone to the front door now.

Probably going to be jumping up at the radiator any minute now. Wanting to go out. He might actually be jumping up over me.

I'm just looking for somewhere to get away. He seems to always do this whenever I'm doing a recording. He seems to decide to go into his cage and start eating.

So he's eating his food now. He's eating his dinner. Be quite good to have a visual of him doing that.

But just imagine he's in his cage. He's on the, he's got one, one, two, three, four, four different floors of his cage, including the, you know, the bottom. So he's got one flight of stairs, which leads to one floor.

Second flight of stairs, which leads to the second floor. Third flight of stairs, which leads to the third floor, which is where he is now. It's where his bowl of food is.

And then there's another set of stairs that goes up to the, what is it, one, two, three, fourth floor, which is where his dry food is. That's where his water is. That's also where his hammock is, where he can climb into the hammock.

He's also got another bedding, which he can get into as well, which is a separate place, which is probably more for winter than the summer. And he can cozy up in there if he wants. But that's open all day long, really, at the moment.

He just goes in there when he wants to. Generally, when I go to bed, that's when he goes to bed. Sometimes he's okay with it, but other times he's really not.

He's just, he looks at me and says, how dare I, how dare I put him to bed, to sleep? He doesn't want to go to sleep. Of course, I have to imagine these things that he's thinking, because there's no way of really knowing, is there? Let's have a little drink. Here, my creaking chair.

I'm sure this chair didn't used to be this creaky. I'll have to figure some way of de-creaking it. Wow, I just heard some weird noises.

I wonder what that is. That's really weird. So he's been eating his food.

He's got some cat food to eat. And he's just come out and he's wiped his face on the carpet. He must've got some on his, maybe on his nose or on his mouth.

He's just wiped it all over the carpet just to dry, to clean his face off. That's so cute. Dirty, but cute.

Considering what else he wipes on the carpet. But let's not go down that road. Let's not focus on those things.

So he's now in this little crawly tube thing that he's got. It's like this bendy tube. And he goes in there every day and he loves going in there.

Sometimes he goes in there just from one end to the other and that's it. We go in and then he'll crawl backwards out again. Other times he'll go in there and he'll be in there for ages.

I can't get to him when he's in there. He likes the safety of, not that he needs to feel safe because he's safe with me, but I think he likes that. The enclosed space, but at the same time, it's his.

He owns it. That's his property. He's a happy boy.

He's going to come and climb on me in a minute, I reckon. He's building up to it. He's either going to jump up and down on the radiator or he's going to come and climb on me or he's going to grab hold of his girlfriend, which is my old slipper, and make some unusual sounds in the background.

When I say the background, it's not a euphemism, I mean in the background. You'll hear it. You might not hear it, I'll hear it.

He's quite noisy. He's very passionate. He's a very passionate young man.

So I thought I'd talk a little bit about the point of these sessions because I know, I imagine someone for the first time listening to this and maybe not knowing what on earth I'm doing. It's just listening. There's this bloke just talking about absolutely nothing for an hour.

How? Why? Why does it happen? How can this exist? And there is a reason behind what I do. Yeah, here he is. Andre's up on my lap.

By the way, if you want to... He's all wet, which is lovely. Thanks for sharing your wetness with me, Andre. If you want to see what Andre looks like, go to my Facebook page.

And there's pictures of him on there in all his beautifulness. And you can... Yeah. Beautiful.

Yeah. Just Google and just, you know, Facebook my name. It's on there.

It's easy to find. Yes, I am. And there's lots of pictures of Andre.

There's some videos as well. It is beautiful. Little beautiful Highness.

Isn't there? Yeah. He's now cuddled up to me. I think he might go to sleep.

He finds my voice boring as well. Don't you? Yeah. You're lucky to have a boring daddy, aren't you? You just listen to my boring voice and drift off asleep.

There's nothing else to think about, is there? Everything's just relaxed and calm. It's nice to have that release, that sense of comfort that can come with the familiarity of my voice, regardless of the words that I might say, regardless of the... Some of the silly stories I might tell. It doesn't matter.

It's just about... It's about feeling. That was Andre, by the way, sneezing. Sorry if that was a bit loud.

It wasn't me, so I take no responsibility for it at all. I am not responsible for Andre's sounds, the noises that he produces. And he does produce quite a few different noises.

But at the same time, I don't care because I love this little boy. My beautiful little son, he's gone to sleep. He's just cuddled up with me.

He's just falling asleep. Now he's awake again. It doesn't take much for you to sleep and wake up, does it? Sometimes he'll just lay on me.

Stop sneezing. Sometimes he'll lay on me and he'll fall asleep within seconds. And then he'll suddenly wake up and it's as if he doesn't know where he is or who I am, why he's hanging upside down.

He just doesn't, you know, how did I get into this carrier bag? Where did this trampoline come from? He just doesn't know where his surroundings and he just gets really, really sort of surprised and runs off. And because he's so bendy, he can fall asleep in some of the most weird positions ever. I've seen him where he's practically only got one leg left in the hammock.

And he's just balanced. Some kind of weird balancing act and he's asleep. It's very quite funny to watch.

No matter what I do, I can't seem to wake him up so that he falls. But yeah, I thought I would do that. He's very cute.

Some people sort of say, oh, you know, when I take him out, the amount of kids over the years that have said, oh, they say to their parents, oh, can I have one? And I look, the parents look at me, I look back at them and we both nod at each other. No, there's a lot of work. There's more work than you get with a dog or a cat, really.

Because he's, well, in a way, the dog, you need to take the dog out. I need to take him out. But that's more my, you know, I taught him that.

If I'd never took him out, then he wouldn't know, would he, I suppose. But he's trashed this place. When I say trashed, you know, from what he was.

A brand new carpet in there. And he ripped the carpet up. I live quite a minimalist lifestyle, which is handy when you've got no money.

It's useful not to have much stuff. And I can make excuses saying I'm a minimalist, but actually I just don't have any money to buy anything. I've got what I need, really.

I've got a television and I've got, well, my underwear is beginning to wear out a little bit. My socks, especially. So I do need to start getting a few more clothes, but it's all money, isn't it? I've made a few financial cuts.

I talked about it in my hypnotic buffet yesterday, but I think I can talk about it in this because I'm not going to assume that those that listen to this will have listened to the hypnotic buffet because we've all kind of got our own preferences, I suppose, about what we like and what we listen to. But what I did is I got rid of my Netflix and another like now TV thing, which was a Sky TV package that I was paying monthly. So I've got rid of those.

I have got rid of my website hosting package. So I was paying 20, 22 pound or whatever a month for that. So I got rid of that and I'm now using, I've gone back to Blogger.

So I'm using Blogger because it's free. And my website, jasonnewland.com is now connected to there. And also we got rid of a couple of other things as well.

So the main things I'm paying for now is SoundCloud and Spreaker. They're the two main podcasts that I'm paying for. Spreaker's a lot more than SoundCloud, but there are no other payments.

That's pretty much it. Apart from, you know, all the bills and stuff that I've got monthly. And the internet, you know, everything I need in order to run this stuff.

So yeah, that's okay. What else did I get rid of? Um, no, nothing really. I was a bit ill a couple of days ago.

Went to the doctors today and had a checkup and the doctor really didn't seem very interested in meeting me. Now, admittedly, I didn't expect there. I didn't expect, you know, her to be standing there playing the trumpet.

You know, as I entered the room, I didn't expect anything fancy. No cake or anything like that. I didn't expect that.

Andre's making these noises in the kitchen in case you're wondering what that. Sounds like a little monkey. Literally sounds like a little, a little tiny little monkey jumping around, making like squeaky monkey noises.

That's what he does when he's in the throes of passion. So what was I talking about? I was talking about monkeys. No, I wasn't talking about Iceland.

Can I tell you that I've got some clementines. I was going to just get one pack and it was, I think it was two pound a pack. It might've been two pound 50 or two pound 20 or two pound 10 even.

Maybe two 15 or two 25. I suppose it could have been one 95 because it still takes over nearly four pounds. It's still a saving, but they did that.

They had a special offer, two packs for three pounds. I ended up doing it. I thought about it and I thought, well, yeah, why not? I think what happens with me through is I've got this ongoing thing.

Like I feel at home with bananas. I'm a banana lover. I've always, always appreciated a nice banana.

There's something about them. I just, I like the taste as long as they're ripe. I don't like the under, under ready ones.

You know, the ones that are just hard and you know, it's all doesn't know. It's not ready yet. The thing is it's, it's hard because once you've opened it, it's not ready yet.

What do you do? It's not like a, can't just do the zipper up again because they don't have zippers do they? Other cartoon characters where the banana would have a zipper like a fly on a jeans used to in the old days or maybe still do. I don't know. It's a waste of a good banana.

Anyway, I like bananas. That's the point. I quite like an apple, but I've got a tendency, tendency if I buy fruit, it's to just leave it in the cupboard and not eat it.

And that's, it's wasteful. I don't want to do that. And I'm also buying the fruit to eat it for health reasons, you know, to put fiber into my body and just to have the natural sugars from apples and oranges and bananas.

It's natural fruit, natural sugar, natural energy, and also fiber and I suppose vitamins and you know, whatever else comes with it. I didn't get any apples today. I just got the, got some clementines though.

I got some clementines. I've got two packets and I got some bananas. I think I've only got one packet of bananas, but bananas are more expensive.

They seem to be going up in price. And I'm sure it was something like £1.95. It might be £1.25, but I don't think there's any more than four bananas. That could have been six, but I think it's four.

So that's just four. It might sound silly to say, but that's just four bananas. I don't generally eat more than one banana at a time.

That's just four pieces of fruit. It just seems that with the clementines, and I don't want to go on about it, but the clementines, it seems a much better value because of the amount I got. I must've got about eight in each pack for £3.

That's 16 clementines for £3. It just seems like a much better deal. But then it's a different fruit, isn't it? I don't think I'd want a toasted clementine sandwich.

Toasted banana sandwich is lovely. I don't have peanut butter, but I can't imagine peanut butter and clementine toasted would go together. It might do, but I've never tried it.

I don't want to dismiss the idea, but I just... You should see some of the carrier bags that are in the kitchen, on the kitchen floor, and he's basically melted them. The things that he's done to those carrier bags, if he was a human, if he was living in a human world, he'd never get out of prison. He'd be there for the rest of his life.

No parole. He's done some damage to those bags. Some of the carrier bags.

I don't know why. It's something about bags. He likes to... I don't know what it is.

It's just his thing, I suppose. And toes. He likes toes as well.

Again, I don't know why. I've never really been into toes myself. I've got nothing against toes or feet.

I do give a good foot massage, but as I've got older, I find it's harder to reach them. But when I can, it feels nice. And I did a couple of courses on reflexology as well when I was younger.

So I kind of know my way around a foot. I could read my epitaph. That could be on my gravestone.

He knew his way around a foot. So yeah. I think things like feet and legs.

To me, it's just like something that you're used to walk with. I never really saw them as some kind of... Some people have a specific enjoyment of certain parts of the body. And I've not really been a foot person.

Or fingers. Or knees. Or elbows.

Or collarbones. Or shoulders. But each to their own.

Well, I should start, really, shouldn't I? I should start to talk about something. So I went to the doctors. So I had a bit of a weird thing a couple of nights ago.

I won't go into any squeaky details. Such a squeaky chair. I won't go into any major details, but I just became a bit unwell.

So I got myself checked out and had a blood pressure checked. Blood pressure was perfect. Had my pulse taken.

Pulse was perfect. And what else? And a couple of other things that she did. And everything was fine.

Blood pressure. It's kind of strange. It's like, wow.

So I'm actually relatively healthy. Maybe it's all the clementines I eat. Mind you, I went to the doctors before I actually started eating the clementines.

But maybe it's the thought of eating them. The intention. The intention of buying them and eating them.

Or going to eat them. Had a healing vibe on my body. But probably not.

So just to remind you, the only point of these sessions is for me to bore you. Okay. I bored myself.

So I must have bored you too. And I'll be back another time with more really, really boring stories about my life. So I'll see you next time.

Please visit my website, jasonnewland.com. Take care of yourselves. See you next time. Lots of love.

Remember to eat lots of clementines. But don't buy all of them, otherwise there won't be any for me. And remember to wash your hands after you've peeled them.

And don't scratch your eyes. Because it stings. And now I bid you farewell.

Bye. Bye, bye, bye, bye.