#23 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (6th May 2018)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. The reason I pronounce my surname like that is because some people say, don't you mean Newland? They actually correct me. I found out about doctor's surgery and they say, what's your name? I said, Jason Newland.

And they say, oh, Jason Newland. No, they don't say, they say Jason Newland. Jason Newland.

I don't correct them again, but isn't that a bit rude to correct somebody on their own spelling or their own pronunciation of their own name? Anyway, so I'm Jason Newland. And the reason I've pronounced like that since 2006 was that people knew how to spell. So they knew what to look for when they googled me or looked for my website.

So instead of looking for someone spelt N-E-W-L-U-N-D, I pronounce it how it's spelt, Newland. You know, I think this is probably one of the best introductions I've ever had. I'm very, very pleased with it.

No, not really. This is let me bore you to sleep and only listen to this incredibly boring session when you can safely close your eyes. So if you're driving a tank or you're at the top of a crane operating that, then maybe don't listen to this during that.

Or if you're, maybe you're a politician and you're in the House of Parliament in England. Maybe you're on the second row, you're just behind the Prime Minister and you've got some little headphones in and you decided that maybe, you know, even though you have to be there, you know, you're supposed to show your face, pretend to be interested, you know, all that stuff because you're getting paid a nice little chunk of cash every year. Doesn't mean you have to maybe listen to what everyone's saying because chances are you've already got the script of what's going to be said anyway.

Maybe you already know what the Prime Minister or the opposite person is going to be saying and the questions they're going to be asked and you know what the topic's going to be and it's the same old, you know, same old stuff really. So you decided to listen to some music, then don't listen to this because I think it looks quite, it doesn't look great when the person's sitting behind the Prime Minister when she's talking, so she's standing up.

At the moment we've got a Prime Minister called Theresa May and she's, you know, if you're sitting behind her when she's talking it means that you're going to be on camera and if you're sort of leaning over, dribbling and you're like snoring away, you know, it's not the best look because I don't know if the Prime Minister does this but I know that if I was the Prime Minister or if I was on television I would be watching back.

I'd be watching myself to see how I did and to see how I came across or if I looked okay, if I, you know, if the speech was understandable, make sure that I pronounced my name correctly, you know, those kind of things. And if I saw one of my cabinet, you know, one of my politicians that I'm in charge of laying down in a little made-up bed in a sleeping bag or something while I was talking to the nation, I'm not sure that it would send a feeling of happy flutters to me, inside me. So yes, if you're, if you are listening and you're sitting in the House of Commons or the House of Lords even or somewhere, then maybe don't listen to this.

I'm not saying that anyone would be listening to this whilst being on live television, but it's not the point. It's not really, it's not, that's the good thing about these things is they're not discussions. It's just me talking at you.

It's my favourite, favourite type of conversation. There's no interruptions. The only, I guess the only interruption really would be if Andre decided to have a, I don't know, do something particularly loud, which he sometimes does, but it shouldn't really interrupt the swing of things as far as the recording, you know, goes.

Although, I suppose I should apologise for, well, I'm not going to, but I should mention that my last recording, I caught myself off guard and I found something that I said quite funny and I laughed and it was a little bit louder than the rest of the recording. So, I try not to do that stuff, but it just caught me, I caught myself off guard and I'm not saying that these sessions are like walking a tightrope and, you know, I accidentally looked down and, you know, that caused a bit of a wobble. It wasn't really like that at all.

I don't know why I'm even mentioning tightropes or walking them. I never saw the point in that. Never really, because I used to try when I was young.

Everything happened when I was younger, didn't it? Even my last bowel movement was when I was younger, but I had, because I had three brothers, I grew up with three brothers and so we were all two older. One was a lot younger, he was eight years younger than me. So, I was kind of the experiment for the older ones, so they get me to do things, you know, test stuff out.

So, you know, if there was a bee on the ground and they weren't sure whether or not it's safe to pick it up, they'd get me to pick it up, you know, that kind of stuff. And that's an exaggeration, but it did happen once, so it's not really an exaggeration, is it? But it happened, but to be fair, it wasn't really a tester because this happened in Newcastle when I was really little and I used to live in this block of flats. There's a big council estate and there was a bee on the floor and I think it was, it passed away, so I just, I had no interest in bees.

I used to eat daddy longnecks, but I was very young, I didn't, you know, I was hungry. And the, I think my brother, one of my brothers and his friends thought it'd be funny if I picked the bee up and I said, no, I'm not going to pick the bee up because it'll sting me. And they said, no, it won't, it won't sting.

Yeah. And I picked it up and they stung me. And I can honestly say, you know, what I learned that day, I didn't learn anything, really didn't learn anything.

It was, it wasn't one of those situations where I could generalize a learning that could just, you know, fold out like a big carpet leading into the future, maybe colored like the back of a bee. There's no, nothing like that, just, just an event, but it hurt. It was very stingy.

And then I ate it because I was hungry. So these recordings really are just me talking about nothing. And there is a method to what I'm doing.

I know it might not seem particularly obvious why I'm saying things I'm saying. And some of it isn't of any obviousness or even maybe no purpose to some of it. But the overall thing, you think of what this a bit like a painting, see a painting in itself is just the painting.

Someone's painted something. There's, you know, a degree of meaninglessness behind it, other than for the person that's painted it. They've maybe enjoyed themselves or maybe able to express themselves emotionally, able to, you know, got something out of it.

But then that painting turns into something else. If it becomes publicly seen, it becomes whatever the responses are that it gets from people. And some people would get, they'd see something and feel something inside and maybe connect on a really deep level with that painting.

So it's not about the painting as much as it's about the feeling that is in response to that visual stimuli. Maybe it's a way to get that response, to get those emotional feelings up to the surface, to maybe release certain thoughts and feelings that were maybe felt a bit stuck in the past, that now can just travel up to the surface. I suppose a bit like I'm freezing the water.

When a lake is frozen, nothing can get to the surface. But once the ice melts, everything has free access to the surface. You can get up to the top of the water.

So it's a bit like that. The ability to relieve and to release. I think sometimes with things like psychotherapy and counseling and those kind of things, whether it's about, you know, talking therapies, whether it's about just discussing how you feel, discussing the deep thoughts and feelings within you, it can be quite nice to just air that.

It's a bit, I know the word is cathartic, but it can really be a nice feeling where it's no longer being held inside. That ice is melted so you can get to the top of that water and start breathing the oxygen again or making a little bubble to breathe oxygen from. I'm thinking of frogs now.

I don't know why. It's kind of that freedom of, when I say frogs, I don't mean Kermit. I mean actual reptilian frogs.

As I turn from tadpoles into frogs, I kind of feel maybe that that's what we're doing all the time. By that I don't mean that we're turning into frogs, but it's an energy change. I'll try and say that word one more time.

An energy change where something, a thought, a feeling, an idea transforms into something new. I know that sometimes that can be a real surprise for people when they have a new experience, when they were expecting more of the same. It's like maybe you're listening to this and you're feeling differently about this session, or maybe you've listened to previous recordings from the past and for some reason there's change occurring within you and you don't even know why.

You can feel a sense of, I don't want to use the word pleasure, but it might be pleasant. A feeling of serenity. We all have access to that feeling.

I sometimes think that some of the more unpleasant feelings that we may have during our lives are really hard work. I've actually seen people having arguments where one person has said something to the other person in the heat of the argument and the other person has started laughing because it was funny. They had to work really hard to get back to feeling angry or bitter or whatever the argumentative, whatever the emotions were in order to continue with the argument.

So it took work, a lot of energy to do that. It's like trying to tie two pigs' tails together. Really difficult.

I mean, I've never done it. I'm just telling you that now. It's just neither of the pigs want to have their tails touched really.

They don't want to be held in one place. They want to do their own thing. But then you've got two and neither of them want to be tied to the other one.

And that's the analogy you're probably not going to get anywhere else. You know that domestic arguments are very much like trying to tie two pigs' tails together. No, you're probably not going to hear that anywhere else.

You're welcome to use it if you like. Just remember to mention me. Do a little disclaimer.

I'm going to say that at the end. By the way, that little analogy was from this person who makes recordings online and nobody knows why he does it. But he still keeps doing it.

Still keeps plugging along and hoping that one day somebody will listen to him. Well, actually, people do listen. You're listening.

I do want to thank you. I don't think you realize how important you listening to these recordings are to me. It gives me a sense of purpose, a feeling that my life is worthwhile and I'm in some small way helping people like you.

I hope, hopefully, I really do hope that at the very, very least, these, you know, my recordings can help you to relax and to calm down a bit and to focus away from those things that maybe you were thinking about previously to your decision to listen to my voice and to let your body and your mind naturally relax and your mind calms, calms down. And the more you listen to me, the quicker you feel relaxed. I don't say that in a sense that it's a race because it's not.

There is no time limit. You're not being timed. It's not a competition and it's not about going from 100 to 0. It's about feeling however you feel and maybe being aware of the feelings, a little bit more aware than maybe you were before.

And to me, that's a useful thing to have. It's a useful situation to be in because speaking from my, I can only speak from myself, I've had issues with anxiety, stress and stuff like that pretty much my whole life. And I've learned ways to calm down, ways to relax.

And it's probably, it's probably one of the best things I've done for myself. There's plenty of other things I could have done and perhaps would like to do, maybe will never do, that will be a benefit to my, you know, for my own well-being. You know, time will show for that one, time will tell.

I'm always looking at other possibilities and new ways to maybe look after myself to improve my health, but without being too self-indulgent. Mind you, these recordings are very self-indulgent, but I don't mind that. So being able to relax whilst listening to some English man talking about whatever he talks about, talk about me here, is just one of many ways that you can relax.

And the more you listen to me, the easier you'll find that you can just let go. And even though the title of these sessions are, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, sleeping does require relaxation. You know, whenever I wake up in the morning, or depending on what time I've gone to bed, but apart from maybe needing to go to the toilet, my body is usually really relaxed.

I do wonder if only I had that level of relaxation at the beginning of the sleep. You know, as soon as I put my head on the pillow and lay my body on the bed. I mean, this all kind of happens at the same time.

I don't put my head on the pillow and then walk over to the bed, you know, pull the curtains and come back. You know, it's all connected. I'm not worth going to have that sense of really, really relaxed.

And it's not just the, it's not just the sense of physical relaxation. I think when I wake up, there's very little brain activity. Well, to be honest, I do have whole days of very little brain activity sometimes, but this is very low level.

Just being aware of that comfort is such a nice feeling. I'm kind of getting that feeling now. So I'm just, I like to sit in the different parts of my body as I sit back in a big black squeaky chair.

I haven't squeaked at all today because I've managed to just lay back and stay in one position. But the minute I do move you'll, you may hear it because it's sounds very, I'm sorry, it sounds like a cat trying to play the violin. Squeaky.

I can feel the relaxation in my body all the way from my head as it rests against the chair, the back of my neck. I actually had to move my shoulders in order to feel them because they're just there. I can't really feel my back.

I know it's there, obviously, otherwise, how would I be able to do this recording? And, but I can feel the lower back and feel my lower back. And as soon as I focused on it, it just seemed to vanish. If only I could do that with the electric bill.

As I think and focus, I can sense that they're there. I suppose it's because I know that they're there. The only part that I can really feel is the, the backs of my lower legs as they're resting on the edge of the chair.

And not the edge, but yeah, the end where the chair ends. I can feel my, my slippers on my feet. I want to say slippers, not really like proper full fluffy slippers, like plastic clocks, crocs, I think they're called crocs, something like that.

The reason I have them is because of Andre, because then he, he can't destroy them the way he has done two previous pairs of slippers that I had owned before. If you saw the state of those slippers, you'd be possibly a little bit surprised that Andre hasn't been arrested for what he's done to them. There'd be no chance of parole for him.

By the way, when I say slippers, it's not a euphemism, I'm really talking about slippers, things that you put on your feet to keep your little toes cozy or your big toes or just your human size toes. The size of the toes wasn't really that important to the story. And just as I mentioned toes, I start to feel the sensations in the tops of my feet, the part from the part where the toes end or the toes begin rather, which is the top of the foot all the way across up to where the leg starts, that kind of bony area, but also a very precious area.

I don't mean financially, but I guess all the parts of our body are precious. Every part of us needs to be looked after and loved the same way that you would, I was going to say an old recipe book, maybe passed down from generation to generation. And it's not only got sentimental value, but there's also some really good recipes in there for making flans.

And there's an apple pie recipe that you really wouldn't want to lose because it just tastes so good. Not the recipe book, I mean the actual end result after having gone to the shops and bought the ingredients and traveled home and made the pastry and prepared the apples and cooked the apples and then put the apples into a baking tray tin thingy, which has pastry in the bottom and then putting the pastry over the top, maybe making some holes so that the top of it so that it doesn't burst, maybe even putting some egg on top. I guess it depends on whether or not, or firstly, whether you have any eggs.

Secondly, whether you like eggs. And thirdly, whether or not that's part of the recipe, because if it's not part of the recipe, then maybe it wouldn't be done. I'm not sure.

I suppose it depends on how important following recipes are, or whether you have faith in yourself, to know you can be creative and to follow your own rules, knowing that ethically and morally, you're already a kind person, full of love. I'm really feeling like eating apple pie now. Apple pie and ice cream.

My stomach's even making noises. And that's just probably because I was hungry anyway. I'm not hungry hungry, but you see what I tend to do, and it's not always the best thing, is I put off cooking till I'm hungry, when really I should just cook the food before I get hungry.

Maybe time it so that it's ready just as I feel the need to consume food. I do feel quite relaxed in my head. And by that I mean there's not a lot going on inside my head right now.

I'm really just focusing on talking. I've no idea what I'm going to say next. I rarely do.

And that's kind of how I like it. Apart from when I have a blank, I just can't, there's no words at all. But generally something always comes up.

I just feel like my mind is just feeling really calm, really relaxed. There's a sense of, there is a sense of well-being. And I say my mind, I think I mean my brain itself.

My eyes, they're closed at the moment, and they feel so much more relaxed than they did earlier. And I can feel a connection between my forehead and my eyes. It's as if there's some some kind of healing going on right now.

The feeling I'm experiencing in my forehead, maybe it is that there's some healing energy being activated. Or maybe I just caught the sun earlier on when I took Andre for a walk. I've got quite sensitive skin, always have done, and it doesn't take much for me to go a bit red.

I might get sunburned by opening the fridge. That's not true. I'm talking about the light that comes on in the fridge, just in case you're being silly.

But I do catch the sun, just being out in it for an hour or something. I don't mean laying down on the floor or on a beach, a beach bed. Is it a beach bed? Deck chair? Laying directly in the sunlight and just allowing all my muscles to melt.

Because I do actually really like sitting or laying down in the sun. It feels lovely. I love the feeling.

Until I get up and go inside, because just my skin, I just have a burny skin, just burns, goes red. And some people say, well, why don't you use cream, sunblock? It seems a bit strange to wear sunblock. Why are you sitting in the sun if you're trying to block it? But it doesn't matter what I wear.

The only thing I could wear that would stop the sun from getting to me would be a beekeeper's costume. That'd stop the sun. I've always been like this ever since I was a kid, a young child.

And because of my age, I'm now 47. When I was about four, maybe five, in my country in England, we had some of the hottest summers back then in the mid-seventies. Really, really proper scorches.

And yeah, I was getting burnt. And I was a kid, I didn't care. It was pretty.

It wasn't pretty, that's the point. It was very unpretty. So I need to keep out of the sun.

But it doesn't stop me from going out in it, as far as walking to the shops or walking around the town if I'm in town. It's not something I've done for quite a while, but it doesn't stop me from going out and exposing part of my body to the sun. Usually only my arms and my face.

Maybe if I'm wearing a t-shirt, my neck gets exposed as well. Maybe sometimes, even if it's a really nice day, I will wear my shorts. But they go down to about my knees, so my legs can be a little bit available to the sun.

The only part of my body that's ever been able to just be okay with the sun and just absorb it and eventually not go brown, but just goes a kind of a reddy colour, but just stays okay, is my arms. So I can go out every day all the way through the summer. Maybe I'll get a little bit of sunburn to start with, but generally my arms are okay.

But the rest of me, my stomach's really making some strange noises and my computer, the laptop is... I think the laptop's missing me because it's really making some strange noises, but I don't know. I'm not sure about my relationship with the laptop at the moment. I think I'm getting mixed signals.

I've really started to think that I want to spend less time glaring into that screen. And I was reading something online, which was on the laptop, so I suppose I was using it, but it was about a thing called dark therapy. The idea behind this is for people that maybe have problems with sleeping or had, you know, issues with that, is to go to bed when it's dark.

You know, in a sense, go to bed when it's dark, wake up when it's light. Like the way we, our ancestors used to do before, electric lights and all that stuff. Another thing is to maybe not use computers or not watch television or anything like that for maybe an hour before you go to bed.

And then it went on to the blue light that comes out of mobile phones and laptops and various tablets and stuff like that. I imagine the same is with the television, but I'm not sure. You can get these glasses called blue blockers.

Sounds like a pill, doesn't it? Blue blockers. It does sound like some kind of antidepressant. We block the blues.

And the, these glasses, it's the lenses are supposed to stop the blue light from, you know, getting to your retina and, you know, affecting things like sleep and stuff like that. I think the, with my eyes closed, I know what Andre's just done there. Just done a wee.

I can tell by how long he's there and by the sounds he makes. I've spent way too much time with my ferret and that is not a euphemism. I'm talking about a real live ferret called Andre.

It's very quiet. I should have closed the lid on that thing. Just generally feels quite calm.

I'm feeling quite calm. Bring this session to an end. I'll speak to you next time.

Lots of love.