(no music) (5 hours) Whisper Wednesday | LMBYTS #1347 | 7th May 2025

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name, my name is Jason Newland. It really is. Hello.

So, this is Whisper Wednesday, Wednesday Whispers, Whisper Wednesday, one of them. There will be a little bit of background from Finster. But outside of that it should be fairly quiet because it's 4.52 in the AM.

So I'm just going to look at the stats because I've not been long up. Let's have a look. Okay, yesterday was a good day, that's nice.

Yeah, today, well it's still early. But yesterday was an okay day so that's nice. So, let's see how many of those.

This is my new thing. I now look to see how many people are streaming or downloading on my website. Just kind of interested.

I'm just interested, that's all. It's not my fault. Okay.

So all my recordings are on my website. I'm tired. Did I say only listen when you can safely close your eyes? Because I can't remember.

Vinnie had a lamb bone last night. He's now, I think he's eating the bone. But he woke me up a few hours ago and went into the garden and sprang it.

Honestly, it was one of those compost sprayers in the fields. So I'm guessing lamb does not suit his bum. But I'm guessing the bone's fine because he talks like bones to me.

We'll see. I'm going to have to go out in the garden and see if there's anything to pick up. He doesn't like to do... He only normally does wee-wees when he's in the garden.

Anyway, so... It's really weird, I was watching this video on YouTube a couple of nights ago. And it was about a bloke called Peter, I think Peter Graham, from downstairs at a King's Head, which is a comedy club. Still running.

And it's in... Where is it? I should know. Went there many times. Not Twickenham.

It's not Stourham. Now, downstairs at... At the Grouch End. Grouch End, that's it.

And... Downstairs at a King's Head. Let's have a look, I'm just going to the website. Welcome to downstairs at a King's Head.

All seats face the stage. If we are busy, you may have to share a table. We are still operating with more space between tables.

Okay. It's interesting. So they've got, like, What's On? And Sunday in the afternoon, 4 to 7, The Jazz.

So it's like a jazz night thing. They used to have Ronnie Golden on. Then they've got Thursday, the 8th of May, which is tomorrow.

The legendary comedy tryout night. Up to 16 new and established acts. Compared this week by Eric Elroy.

I used to go there on Thursday. I did. Went there on Saturday.

Well, probably loads of times, but... I think I... Did I do a gig on a Saturday night there? I don't know. I think I did. I lose track.

So what have we got? Friday night. Saturday. Spring day.

Gordon Southern. Otis Cannelloni. Victor Daniels.

Michael Legg. Wow. Saturday, 17th of May.

Mark Thomas. Blimey. If I was closer, I'd go.

I'd definitely... Well... I like to think that I would. Tickets are £15 now to get in. Used to be about... £3 or £4, I think, or £5.

Maybe less. But that was the 90s, baby. The 90s.

Anyway, I was watching this bloke about us. I'll see if it's the club. Let's see if I've got it.

We are the best known... We are perhaps best known as one of the oldest comedy clubs in Britain. Specialised in bringing... intimate environment. Founded in 1981 by... Peter Graham.

Did I say that at the beginning? And Hugh Thomas. We now present shows throughout the week. The champion, the best of the new.

Being comedy, music of all persuasions. Spoken word, magic and dance. A favourite of audience and performance.

The venue prides itself on creating the right ambience for each event. And providing unbeatable value for money. With a capacity of 100 persons.

The club boasts an excellent live PA system. I remember that. It was a good... I used to like that place.

It was... It was intimate. And on a Thursday night... I mean you think they had a hundred people. They were never going to be making huge amounts of money from that.

If they're charging now 15 pound per person. So it's 1,500 pound if they've capacity. Then they have to pay out... They're probably paying out most of that for the acts on the night.

So my guess is... They're doing it for the love of it. Which is amazing. I think.

I don't know why I started talking about that. Crouch End. I remember going there.

And... Can you hear Vinnie? Making a lot of noise. He got that phone. Basically... I was being harassed by these phone calls.

Not harassed but I had a lot of phone calls missed. And in the end it got my curiosity so I went round to a neighbour to find out what it was. It's just something they wanted me to do for them.

Okay. And in the meantime when I was there she kept mentioning that she thought Vinnie was fat. Which was mildly annoying.

She kept going on about it. It's like you want me to do you a favour here. Stop calling my little boy fat.

Stop it. So... Okay. I don't know why I was thinking about that.

So I've got no messages to read out. I've got nothing on... Oh yeah YouTube. Let's have a look.

If I hit it it might listen. Okay. I got one more subscriber.

Yay! Wow. I actually had a couple of listens. That's nice.

It's very slow. It's very slow in the world of YouTube for me. But it's alright.

I don't mind. It's... I'm happy as long as Vinnie's making as much noise as he can. That's how I am.

So I need to make a couple of these public. Public. So this is yesterday's recording.

Which was... Trivia Tuesday. Pigeons. That was what I focused on last night.

Or yesterday afternoon. Whichever it was. Pigeons.

Let's have a look what's in the news. Okay. So if I get rid of the YouTube.

The YouTube. What else can I look at? The stats for my website. Pigeons.

I don't know why I'm enjoying saying the word pigeons. So today. Okay.

So. People are visiting already. That's good.

What's the most popular pages today? Podcast. Hypnosis for sleeping deeply. Podcast.

Hypnosis for sleeping deeply. Podcast. Hypnosis for sleeping deeply.

What? No. Monday's boring objects. Oh.

So it's not. I'll tell you what it is. It's because I copied.

Wow. That's a lot of sound. Isn't it? Even I. I mean I know I can hear it.

Because I'm here. I mean it's actually registering on the director scale of my recording equipment. Because generally the green light only comes on.

I'm looking at it now. So I'm talking to you while I'm trying to like look at it. It's it comes on when I speak.

Yeah. Wait a minute. I'm waiting for him to go to make a big old crack.

I want to see if it. I'm pretty sure. The thing is.

I might have like going. Yeah. At the same time that he did the big old crack.

Thinking that. He had registered it. It noticed it.

The green light came on. But it might have been me. That caused the green light to come on.

But he's taking his time now. I never do anything that I want him to do. I think it's because I'm not talking.

Yeah. When I'm not talking. He does it a bit quieter.

Because there's nothing for him to disturb. Is it? That's hurting my neck staring. Really distortion in my neck.

In order to see that green light. So stop. I'm now obsessed.

I can't stop it. I just want to keep looking. So I got referred from Instagram.

Instagram. Pigeons. Instagram.

So I don't know. Quite. What's going on.

Analytics. Analytics. Yesterday.

I don't normally get stuff from Instagram. Weird. Last 12 months.

I don't know how many I've had from Instagram. Four. Not many is it? A few from DuckDuckGo.

YouTube. Yandex. Whatever this has anything to do with Spandex.

Facebook. Google. And Direct.

31 contact. So I had 31 people. In the last 12 months.

To be fair. When I say 12 months. I'm talking from.

January. So since January. This year.

So January, February, March, April. Four months. The most popular.

Landing. Most popular pages. Is the homepage.

Podcasts. Playlists. Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Contact form. As well. The most.

The top entry. Entry pages. Podcasts.

Recordings. Exit pages. Okay.

I don't know. I wonder what the. Yeah.

I wonder what the. Countries are. It's not showing all of them.

For some reason. I don't know why. But United Kingdom.

Is a top. United States. States.

In fact. The United Kingdom. And the United States.

Kind of equal. With the amount of people. Visiting the website.

But United Kingdom. Is slightly above. Australia.

Third. Canada. Fourth.

Switzerland. Is fifth. Spain.

Is nineteen. Fifth. Six.

Seventeen. See. That was a loud one.

It just did then. But I don't know if it. It registered.

But you'll hear it. Yes. I caught it.

Wow. So yeah. He's.

I think I should have. Hidden. The old bones.

Because. After his. Garden spraying.

Earlier on. I don't know. The weird thing about it.

Is my anyway. I don't want to focus on that. Let's move on.

Let's see if I've got any messages. Any. Any.

Emails. I think he's made so much noise. He's disturbed the neighbors.

Downstairs. Have I got any. Messages.

From the website. Nope. Nope.

Nope. What have I got in my normal. Email accounts.

Habitat. Don't know what that is. Roucher shop.

No thanks. That's a weird sound. Uber eats.

Consider your cravings. Satisfied. No thank you.

Uber eats. I had. My hands.

Wiping. So I got. Paid.

Today. I don't know. If I'm going to get paid again.

Which is a really. Very weird. Situation to be in.

I'll explain it to you. And explain it. So.

It says here. On the 3rd of June. So I've been.

Moved over to Universal Credit. It says. This is.

Universal Credit. Service. Gov.

UK. On the 3rd of June. We will tell you.

How much you're going to get. You will be paid. Any money.

You're entitled to. Before 8pm. On the 7th.

June. 2025. It's now the 7th of May.

Now on the phone. They told me. My last payment.

Will be. This next one. From the ESA.

I didn't realise. I was going to have to wait. Till the 7th.

It's a whole month. Before I next get paid. Wow.

Wow. It does say. You can apply.

For an advanced payment. If you need to borrow money. Before the first payment.

You must apply. Before the 31st of May. Check your payments.

Let's have a look. How we calculate. Your payment.

You get a standard amount. Each month. You said you're single.

It says. It's likely. It says.

Likely. Recently I've been walking around the airport and went to the tour as they are, I saw them taking pictures. And we were all getting dogs, but there was a big dog and a little dog, and I don't know what it is but they helped me out, and I promised to give one £10, which I did, but it left me, I didn't have any other money, maybe £5, so I gave him the £10, gave him a hug, said thank you, and then the two other men, I said to them, I owe you a drink, and I think they said, more than one, you only do, and we giggled,

but I can't remember what it is they did to help me out, it had something to do with a wicked witch, I think Finn needs a toilet now, I know it's okay, he's just having a drink of water, I think that's what you call a refill, blimey, I don't know what it was the dream was about, but there was one part of the dream when my dad didn't want me spending time with my mum, because we're the same age, it was very strange, this was like a separate part of the dream,

so he didn't, and he was back to, you know, when he was a bit strong, he still was big and strong, but when he was younger, and I was little, and it was weird, he just didn't want me talking to his wife, because me and her were the same age, which, that wasn't reality, so, very strange, so I was sneaking around, talking to her, because we wanted to talk to each other, because I was her son, it's weird, weird old dreams, I don't remember what else, I know one thing though,

I think I prefer it when Vinnie's in bed when I do these recordings, he's done nothing but make as much noise as he can, so now he's jumped onto the settee, he's just been acting a bit weird overnight, and today, like every day I've known him really, to be honest, a year and a half, it was not quite a year and a half, it was, what month is it now, so at the end, wow, yeah, it is literally a year, two and a half years now that I've had him,

I said a year and a half, didn't I, two and a half years, so I got him in 2020, 2022, December, yeah, 2022, December, around about this time of the month, and then, so that's December, December 2023, 2024, and then up to now which is the 7th of May, so it's two and a half years, two and a half years, where do the time go, the birds are very active outside, I didn't do a yesterday, although I was reading or listening to an audio book about chronic pain,

it's actually a really good book, it's, let me tell you the name of it, it's called the way out, ill chronic pain, the way out Alan Gordon, it's, he makes so much, he's a fidgeter, he's a proper fidgeter, he's always like squeaking, why are you squeaking, oh I just realised, he's distracted by the fly, right, the way out, the revolutionary, scientifically proven approach to heal chronic pain, audio book, four hours, 50 minutes, by Alan Gordon and Alon Ziv, narrated by Alan Gordon and Alon Ziv, brought to you by Penguin,

rewire your brain, end your pain, from back pain to migraines, arthritis and sciatica, more than 1.2 billion people worldwide, blah blah blah, this is the revolutionary message from psychotherapist Alan Gordon, who frustrated by the lack of effective treatment for his own debilitating situation, developed a highly successful approach to eliminate symptoms without surgery or medication, offering a viable and drug-free alternative to existing and other methods, based on the premise that the pain starts in the brain not the body, Gordon's pain reprocessing therapy, PRT, enables you to rewire your neuron circuits and turn off stuck pain signals,

in a groundbreaking study, PRT helped 98% of patients reduce their pain levels and 66% were completely cured, what's more, these dramatic changes held up over time, in the way out, Gordon provides an easy to follow guide to ending what he's really doing, okay, as soon as I say his name, he starts, he's just staring at me, he's ripping up some tin foil, I'm being attacked by a fly and he's squeaking, I really am making such a fuss, so if he needs to go in the garden, which I think he does,

he needs to just come down off the chair and tell me he needs to go in the garden but he's not, he's just staring at me from behind and I'm somehow supposed to know, although technically because I'm mentioning it, I just showed that I do know that he's staring at me so you could argue that he's doing the right thing, there's got to be some way of communicating with a dog and just, he seems to do the same thing, make the same sound, whether he wants something to eat or he wants a treat or he wants to go out,

or, you know, or he wants to play, even a buzzing sound, almost like there's a lot of flies or a lot of bees or something, now I know there's not a lot of flies in my flat, I know there's not a lot of flies downstairs either, so maybe it's in the loft, maybe there's a hornet's nest or something up there, I had that once in one of the places I used to live, it's about 2007, so I'm sitting at my desk, I don't know if I'm making a recording but I'm back then and I mean now,

I know I'm making a recording now, but back in 2007 I was sitting at my desk and maybe working on my website or I don't know, but it's where I used to sit when I did the videos and the recordings back then, this thing, huge thing fell on my shoulder and it was a hornet and I was like wow, where the heck did that come from? I thought it, honestly I thought it was falling out of my ear, I was like what was that doing in my ear, how did I not notice it?

But it turned out that there was a hole in the ceiling right in the corner and one of the people that lived there went and did a little bit of research in the loft and yeah there was a huge hornet's nest there, that's the whole story, I don't know if it's worth the wait, I'm not sure, I quite like that room, in a way I quite like living in that house, until the last bit, I'd say most of the time I was there, it was a fairly okay place to live,

I definitely worked on my book collection, I had such a good book collection, I mean there's no reason why I couldn't have built it up here but I had such a really, I had an expert, superb, a superb library of books on hypnosis and psychology and psychotherapy and counselling and philosophy, I mean honestly loads and loads, I must have had over a thousand books and I was, I loved my books, now I've got about five, no I've got a couple of hundred books now, that's about it, I don't know,

shall I count them, let's have a look, I'm going to try and count, flappy ears, try and count the books, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 20, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82,

83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 100, 106, 107, 108, 102, 110, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 137, 138, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, roughly about 150 books on hypnosis.

There's quite a few, I suppose, but I've got other books, so it's 150. Let's look at some of the other books. I've got some books on, like, self-help and various books.

So let's have a look. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 56, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 75, 76, 77, 78, 80, 80, 90, 90, 90, 90, 90, 90, 90,

90, 90, 90, 90, 90, 90, 90, 90, 90, 90, 90, 90, 90, 90, 90, 90, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 86, 87, 88, 89, 100, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209, 209 where's all that time gone?

I don't know. So this has been a recording of absolutely nothing.

I've talked about filch and I don't know how I still managed to talk about something but I don't know what. It was just, it was one of those I suppose it was just a boring recording. Yay.

Boring recording. That rhymes, doesn't it? Anyway, I'm gonna go. Thank you for listening.

Remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy. Be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe.

Lots of love. Bye.