#98 Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety & Panic Attacks - EVICT SELF-PREJUDICE - (Jason Newland) (16th February 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety and Panic Attacks. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. And please subscribe to this podcast so you can be notified of new episodes.

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Now I'm going to talk today about prejudice. Now this might not be the correct word. It's probably better words to use but I'll start with the word prejudice and see what comes you know later on in the recording.

You know see if something is a little bit more suitable for what I'm talking about. So I'll start off basically with a diagnosis. Let's say you've had a diagnosis of maybe it's depression, maybe it's anxiety disorder, general anxiety disorder, stress, panic disorder, maybe bipolar, personality disorder, emotionally unstable personality disorder or something like that.

All these things can include stress, anxiety and panic. They can all be you know part of that. Obviously you know general anxiety disorder would be specifically aimed at that.

But I mean in my life I've been I've been uh diagnosed with quite a few different things on the mental health scale. I think 2000 no 1995 it was depression no 1995 it was stress. 1997 it was depression and I think 19 yeah 2000 or 2001 recurring depression disorder or something.

And then in 2002 or 2003 yeah I've got it 2002 it was uh anxiety disorder. Then I think they decided it was general anxieties disorder GAD. And then in 2003 I think depression diagnosed with that again recurring depression.

And then in 2006 I was diagnosed with depression again. This is from the GP um the doctor. And then 2000 so depression a few times through the years.

2011 diagnosed with bipolar disorder. And then I was also I kind of ignored it if I'm honest because I didn't want to I didn't I didn't like it. I don't know if anyone likes it today but I didn't like it didn't I was working or self-employed or as a counsellor.

I did not want that hanging over my head. So I took some medication didn't like how it made me feel so I stopped and I just continued working which was the wrong thing to do because I got ill or iller actually. So 2013 I think it was went back to the psychiatrist and they re-diagnosed me with bipolar right again and but this time also with emotionally unstable personality disorder.

Now the reason I'm telling you this is because the diagnosis itself can cause other people in my experience it might not be the same with you but I do go on to a lot of the forums groups on Facebook and a lot of people do say the same thing that they're treated differently once they've been diagnosed which according to one of the psychologists that I've seen is part of the reason why they don't like to diagnose people with such conditions like bipolar or something that has a fairly negative connotation in public life.

What I mean by that is how often do you see a newspaper article where they mention that the person's got bipolar and it's a positive article. A man saves family from a burning building and he has bipolar or anxiety disorder.

They don't mention that but if something bad happens then they'll mention oh and he's got bipolar you know. This isn't about bipolar this recording I'm just saying as an example. So the prejudice I suppose what I wanted to talk about is how do you deal with the prejudice? Have you experienced prejudice? Is prejudice the right word?

And I guess also maybe you have and you felt you was the only one maybe you didn't realize other people also had that experience and it might be useful to know that and also it might be useful to get your head around the fact that that's other people's problems if they have an issue with you and why should you be you know why should you take that crap from them if they've got an issue with your illness then that's their problem that's that's their stuff isn't it ultimately if you went

and told someone that you had diabetes they wouldn't be saying oh that explains your behavior that explains why you are the way you are and then every time you do something in the future it must be the diabetes and I think that's quite a crappy way to treat people personally you know to to judge them we judge people we judge each other that's normal it's a human thing anyone that says that they don't judge others is lying because we all judge maybe not in a cruel way though maybe not in

a spiteful harmful way but always we judge we make judgments that's how we function in life we judge whether something is safe we judge whether someone is worth talking to we make judgments that's how we function and we're human beings and we judge but there are some people that really judge like proper full-on and I yeah my suggestion and for me I kind of don't want to be like that I like to notice my judgments and say okay well is it true in the same way as I say in previous

recordings when you have something that you say to yourself and it's harmful or unkind is it true it's in the same way we could do that about judging others is it true that person always does this thing you know because generalizing is also another way to function now we kind of our minds we have to group things don't we makes it easier otherwise I think it would be harder if we didn't generalize but it's noticing what we generalize in so it's kind of I guess it's just a case of noticing

how we're thinking questioning it not just accepting every thought that goes into our mind or it comes out of our mind but this isn't about stopping judging other people this is about us being judged it's about dealing with other people other people's prejudices maybe again I want a better word than that prejudice it seems a bit harsh but I suppose stigma the stigma of a mental illness so to stigmatize something to I don't know whatever word you want to use I think it's about the the feeling that goes with it

now I remember when I in 2011 well pretty much all the way up to all the way through my adult life I never told really any of my family about what I've been going through you know any of the depression stress anxiety none of that I didn't really open up about any of that stuff to them so I put on a brave not brave face but I just I kind of almost left left that behind when I left my town I kind of just left it there and sort of just

didn't discuss it because I didn't really feel that they were in would be interested so I didn't tell anyone and then in 2011 December when I was diagnosed with bipolar it seemed such quite a big thing it was almost too big for me to not talk about it I don't know if that makes sense it was something that I needed to tell people not everyone I wasn't walking around to people in the street and saying guess what I don't know me but I'm a bipolar person you know just people that

I knew a friend said to me what do you feel like now that you're being diagnosed with bipolar I remember saying I don't know I'm up I'm down you know changing but changeable about it and just the diagnosis is different but the symptoms are still the same that's the thing isn't it when you get diagnosed with something nothing's changed the symptoms don't change so with anxiety you get diagnosed with uh well basically they're just telling you what you kind of already know maybe but they're giving it a label and some

people don't like the labels some doctors don't like the labels some psychiatrists and psychologists do not like those labels because they know about the stigma or the prejudice that the person may get but without the label that person can't perhaps get the help that they need so it's kind of a double-edged situation I couldn't get psychology I couldn't get see a psychologist I saw a psychotherapist for over a year and I've been seen I saw a psychologist for over a year as well I wouldn't have got any of that if

I didn't have the label the bipolar and the personality disorder which is two things are quite they do go together sometimes co-commodent or something there's a name for it um but I wouldn't have got any of that help I would have got the medication because doctors will prescribe medication for moods to help the mood you know they'll give bipolar medication without actually diagnosing the person a psychiatrist rather you know because doctors can't diagnose mental illnesses other than maybe it can diagnose depression that the but they can't diagnose things like bipolar

has to be a psychiatrist maybe a psychologist as well in that's in England anyway so I don't know what it's like in other countries so prejudice prejudice prejudice when I told my dad I'm not I'm not picking on my dad so I would say when I told him and his wife and I felt something changed and that could have just been me but I felt almost like I was no longer me to them I was an illness that's how I felt and I still feel that actually if I'm honest it's

I've always been weird I suppose it probably be it's probably not nice to call myself weird especially as I'm telling people not to be not to be nice to themselves and not to say horrible things to themselves however in the general scheme of things as far as society's norms I don't fit in with that I never have I've been okay with that I just maybe just I don't know maybe who knows maybe it is because of the bipolar because of that that's just I am how I am because of that

maybe or because of what's happened we're all individuals we're all different but I think that unusual behavior which has been noticeable since I was a kid and now suddenly made sense to some people and I don't know it was the idea that you know everything can be explained by someone's illness their behavior oh it must be their illness or their condition instead of their personality to me seems like a shame that that it's almost I felt almost like my personality had been taken away from me I was no longer a

person with a personality I was just this condition condition and it didn't feel very nice and I still feel that sometimes I still feel that with some situations and people I felt that way when I was at the Buddhist center at the time when I got diagnosed and some people would they were treating me differently not unkindly but kind of different maybe you know the old saying with kid gloves treat me a bit more gently which I didn't need almost I'm not tiptoeing around me but just you know I didn't

you can sense it can't you a little bit and maybe who not maybe I can be a bit oversensitive at times so maybe I was reading more into it than what there was so I suppose my question is have you experienced these kind of things yourself but then how much of it is real in a sense that I'm thinking well this is what I'm perceiving do they're treating me this way because of the bipolar to be fair I don't even mention about the personality disorder to most people I just say

bipolar I just don't need the extra I don't want the extra judgment to be fair with you know and so I just if people want to know my situation I say bipolar I mean I've got a friend who said that you know don't tell people you know sort of online when I'm doing this stuff but and he was coming from a kind place because he knows that online you can get trolls you can get people being really cruel I would hope that I wouldn't get that in this kind of forum

you know doing a recording aimed at helping people in a similar situation as myself with the stress anxiety and mental illness mental ill health but I talk about it on other podcasts as well because I don't class it as being something that I should be ashamed of just in the same way as if I had to use a wheelchair I'm not comparing my situation with being in a wheelchair I'm just saying if I had to use a wheelchair to get around then I would use a wheelchair I wouldn't stay at

home ashamed I wouldn't like it but knowing me I'll probably make it into a joke and have fun with it just and start banging into people and stuff I don't know asking people to help me across the road just to sort of break my way into it and sort of just knowing how I am that's possibly what I would do but who knows in this situation I might not do that I might hide my I might hide away when my nan had to she was had broken a hip twice the

second time she broke a hip she could hardly move and they got her a wheelchair to push her around in and she hated it and she was in her 90s and she absolutely hated the wheelchair didn't want to go out in it didn't want to be seen in it and we're all different aren't we so I couldn't understand it I could like well you're in a wheelchair first of all you're very elderly I didn't say that to her but no one's going to even notice because most people in their late

90s possibly going to be in a wheelchair or like a you know some kind of sitting device being pushed along and she was in a town full of elderly people but you know in her mind she just nope so maybe she'd experienced prejudice you know from other people towards people in wheelchairs in her life and she didn't want to have that aimed at her or maybe it was just her perception you know now that she's in a wheelchair she's she's old when when she could walk she didn't feel old so

I don't know if I'm saying should we embrace our our I don't use the word illnesses but you know embrace both aspects embrace the things we can't change because if someone's if someone's in a wheelchair and they've got maybe they're paralyzed from the down you can't change that at the moment medical technology may you know I hope in my I mean it already is starting to do that so in my lifetime I think we're going to see the next 20 30 years major major changes in physical health on a scale

that just can't even imagine so that's really exciting but at the moment someone's in a wheelchair then embrace it and it's easy for me to say that because I'm not in a wheelchair but I'm not talking about wheelchairs I'm talking about any condition is it possible though that's what I'm asking I'm not saying do it but is it possible to do it is it possible to I want to say embrace I don't mean wear it around you know you wear it like a badge of honor but you know I've got

the weird my mentality is this if I if I say saved someone's life so I ran into a burning building save someone's life and ended up with a burn a burn arm I probably wouldn't hide that arm I wouldn't wouldn't cover it up you know in future years once it's healed up and stuff but it'd be a big scar on the arm in some ways for me I'd kind of want to be reminded of it that there's someone alive now because of that scar that's you know someone's alive that wouldn't

be alive and that's an amazing thing and every day looking at that scar would remind me of that I like to think it would it might not but I'm not hugely vain you can't I mean I've got I've got a face for radio you know I've not I wasn't I I don't know is it possible to embrace our what do you want to call it I don't want to say there were defects illnesses that doesn't seem like the right word our the things that we're not so pleased about our it's

not even a negative part either is it having a mental disorder isn't it's not negative it's what is it's not pleasant either obviously but it's can we embrace it as in accept it I guess that's the probably a better word isn't it accepting in an embracing kind of way without judging ourselves because we can't stop other people judging but we can kind of give ourselves a little talking to so that we don't judge ourselves and when you don't judge yourself for maybe a mental health issue you're not probably going to

be judging other people on their mental health issues either which means if everybody with a mental health issue be it bipolar schizophrenia depression stress anxiety you know that the list is fairly long but you know whatever the condition if everybody who had a mental health issue didn't judge stop stop judging themselves which meant that they wouldn't be able to judge other people because it just wouldn't be in them anymore that's a quite a few people not judging others and not judging each other regarding the health side of things you know

I mean it's so easy to say I don't judge anyone but you know what if I turned up to meet my dad in the cafe and I said oh he says meet me at one o'clock so I do and I turn up and he's got bright pink hair and he's you know I'm gonna I don't know if the word judge is correct but I'm gonna yeah I'm gonna judge him there's gonna be part of me that won't want to sit with him and that's just naturally there because well I'd probably

be so confused about what's going on because this is the last thing that my dad would ever do it's like you know so we do judge I guess it's noticing but back to prejudice back to prejudice I think a lot of people that may be this is just an assumption of mine that are prejudiced against people who have mental health issues would be someone that's never had mental health issues or I remember years ago another obviously another really really serious mental health issue and something like an eating disorder and OCD

those things they're really so I'm not I can't mention every single one because they all they all include they all can include stress and anxiety within them it could be a part of it a dynamic of it so to just sort of think well it's just stress no or someone's you know the only people with stress are people that have been diagnosed with a stress disorder well no obviously not it's I would say everybody even those that don't admit it have felt extreme stress at some point in their life I

mean how could you get through childhood without not having you know catastrophized about something thinking it was the end of the world thinking that person you know being so scared that your parents will find out something you did at school thinking that they were going to actually kill you when that was never going to happen but you know you were absolutely terrified for maybe two or three days we've all been through those kinds of things it's going to be different for everyone I'm not talking about extreme childhood issues you know

bad stuff I'm just saying as an average child we would have experienced extreme stress but not giving it a label because we weren't aware of what stress was when we were children little children in fact I'd say lots of adults aren't aware of what stress is because they don't connect it with the word stress a lot of people that I've spoken to over the years class stress as something that weak people have depression is weak-minded people get depressed that's what how some people think which blows my mind the idea that

someone could be so unkind actually so dismissive of an illness yeah if it's a physical illness they'll be all over it be really kind of caring and kind and considerate and loving if it's a physical illness mental illness that's some people whether it's the way they're being brought up whether it's the society they live in whether it's the kind of job they do some people I've met in in the forces you know sort of in the army or something have a you can sometimes have a mentality where you can't show

weakness they've been taught not to show weakness so they class it as a sign of weakness if you're if someone's if they're feeling ill or stressed or got post-traumatic stress disorder and which is probably part of the reason why there's so much problems with veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder and anxiety depression because they didn't they weren't taught how to deal with it in the army because they were taught not to have it they were taught to work you know carry on through it which kind of does make sense you know

on the battlefield I mean there's that's no place to have an anxiety attack is it because that could be the end of your life could be the end of your companion you know people your other soldiers that you're on the field with the field you know so you're basically putting yourself at risk and other people if you was to have a panic attack on the battlefield so I do understand the concept of like working through it and just we're not working through it but just ignoring it and carrying on regardless

in that scenario you know for a lion which chasing you it's not the time to start having a panic attack that's the time to take action I don't know what the action is to be fair because I think if you run they'll go get you so I don't know I don't know what the correct thing is I'm hoping I'll never have to deal with that I don't have many lions around here lots of liars but not many lions so some people depending on where they brought up what kind of life

they live it could have a huge effect on whether or not they a judge or are prejudiced against people with mental illness or mental ill health I remember years ago I was in Butlins and there's a friend of mine but I've gotten quite well with him didn't know him that well but I was drinking with him and I was working with him so he said he taught us about a celebrity that I liked and he said I hate her because she's bulimic I said that's a bit harsh you know it's

like you hate someone because they're ill he said my sister was bulimic and she died so there's no logic in what he said it's no logic and basically his sister was ill and she died which is probably one of the worst things that ever happened in his life or will ever happen in his life because he he was close to her but at the same time to hate other people that have that illness there's no logic there but it's emotion isn't it an emotion and logic they don't know they're not

don't make great dancing partners so the prejudice can come from people that have actually experienced it so I'm sure there's lots of people out there that are prejudiced against themselves that think actually that stress and anxiety is for weak people even though they may be experiencing stress and anxiety so they class themselves as weak but even though they know that's not the case logically or maybe they don't maybe they can't grasp it but if they're thinking of themselves as being weak then there's a good chance they're still thinking that way

towards other people so it's I suppose it could be a similar thing to people that would go to what was it gay conversion therapy because they even though they're gay they can't and accept that they're gay and they want to be converted back to normal or whatever it is they class as normal because they can't accept themselves for who they are or they struggle into it I think everyone can eventually accept themselves I think we just we don't we don't we deserve to be able to accept ourselves isn't that something

that we all deserve really it's better give ourselves a break just say come on a little bit of love a little bit of self-love that's just what I think you know the prisons are full of people full of people that have forgiven themselves and a lot of those people have done some pretty horrible things but they've forgiven themselves for it I'm not saying that everyone in prison has forgiven themselves but a lot of them have there's a lot that don't even feel guilty I'm sure there's probably quite a few quite

a lot that actually aren't guilty as well they've been wrongly accused and wrongly in prison but that's a completely different subject that I know nothing about really other than what I read mind you I think nearly every thief how many thieves actually admit to it you know it's like I'd love to see it as one day it's like oh yeah it was me I did it just one just admit just how many people actually admit to the crimes they do it's got to be a very small percentage so if someone

in prison who's done perhaps the most horrific thing that you can imagine is able to forgive themselves is able to accept themselves which is really more what we're looking at rather than forgiveness because if you forgive yourself then you accept yourself then can't those of us that haven't done any of that have those horrible things I'm not judging anyone has because I'm saying that those majority of people haven't done horrific things so how about a bit of self-acceptance a bit of you know taking it a little bit easy on ourselves

chilling out a little bit you know what I'm not too bad really I'm kind of okay most people haven't killed anyone most people haven't hurt anyone really badly we're all alive otherwise you won't be able to hear this if you weren't if you weren't alive and we've all messed up every single one of us has messed up to various degrees so maybe we can you know just just take a little bit of a little bit of time to relax and actually make sure that there's no prejudice in your mind towards

yourself and if there is anything there that maybe you didn't realize before get it out evict it it's eviction day for that prejudice towards yourself eviction day and I'm talking instantly no three months eviction notice no notice at all bye bye out you go no time to pack your bags it's leaving your home now it's leaving your mind now there's no room in your mind for prejudice against yourself no room for hatred towards yourself there's no room for that eviction time go it has to leave straight away no time to

judge yourself there's no that's not what life's about I don't know what life is about necessarily but I know it's not about that it's not about being cruel to ourselves that's not what life's about so I suppose when I started this I was talking about prejudice in a sense of how other people maybe treat us differently maybe you feel you felt that you've been treated differently since you've told other people about your condition one of the things one of the things that I've noticed is due to the social anxiety and

me not really perhaps cancelling that's it there was a particular friend and I used to phone her when I was in town to see if she was around but then what she wants to do is phone me and book a slot you know in her day to meet her in town at a specific time on a specific day so I used to make appointments and I make appointments I say yeah okay and then on a few occasions I'd cancel I wouldn't just not turn up I would phone her or text

her and say I can't make it tomorrow if I could do it I'd cancel the day before or even a couple of days before but sometimes it was on the actual day but I wouldn't just leave her waiting for me and she yeah she sent me a horrible text message really vicious having a go at me and saying I should make the effort and not be so lazy or something like that and it's not laziness I'm not a lazy person and this is someone who's also got mental health issues as

well and I was I was almost surprised I guess I was shocked actually so that I don't know if it's prejudices that's probably not the right word for that situation or that scenario more a lack of dismissive I guess it's a dismissive situation she was dismissing how I felt and maybe I was dismissing how she felt as well because I suppose maybe she valued me and me but I couldn't face meeting her and I had to look after myself because if I don't do it who is so I had similar

things with my family you know I just I don't like traveling I'll be honest I don't like the traveling bit and I don't live near any family so I live in the middle of nowhere as well which is it's okay but it's not ideal especially if you haven't I don't have a car and my private jet is is in the garage being fixed so I can't you know I can't get about so much but I've noticed the more I have cancelled with people the more they just stop wanting to meet

and I do understand it I do get it but it's kind of happened with over the last five years it's pretty much happened with nearly everybody that I used to meet up with they just stopped contacting me so you know it's you know maybe that's a completely different subject from what I was talking about but being treated differently but maybe I'm just being treated the same way as I would do if I just cancelled on people anyway maybe I don't know so it's more of a question really I suppose this

recording more of a question do you feel that you've had you feel you've been treated differently since either your diagnosis or the illness the stress anxiety panic or any other condition that you may be dealing with and do you feel how do you feel about yourself and about your condition and do you judge yourself are you prejudiced against yourself and if the answer to that is yes eviction evict that feeling now no messing around evict it has to go it's not allowed in your in your brain or your mind it's

just harmful it's a poison it is a poison needs to be gone and you deserve more than that so I'm going to leave you on that note so if there is any kind of prejudiced and by prejudice I'm thinking like what I said earlier if you're thinking to yourself that one week I'm weak because I'm depressed therefore I'm weak or only weak people get stressed therefore I must be weak you need to let that go because it's not true so that needs to be evicted from your mind evict so I'm

going to have that under the word prejudice I'm still going to stick to the word prejudice yeah it might not be the right word but I don't care it's well I do care but I hope you're okay with it it might be a better word but prejudice is you know it can cover all things couldn't it hatred fear disgust distrust you know lots of different things and judgment and everything so yeah it doesn't mean all of those things necessarily but it could mean some of those things so if you have

anything in your mind where you're thinking that you're not like you're not a whole person because of this because somehow you're you're weak because you have this illness or this disability this stress anxiety or whatever the mental health condition may be if you have that in your mind that that's a weakness or that you're you know if you find yourself dismissing your own feelings evict it evict the prejudice instantly this is almost like dismissing the dismission and that probably doesn't make sense but I don't think dismission is an actual word

is it so you're dismissing a part of you that's dismissing your illness or your condition but you're doing more than just dismissing it you're evicting it from your mind evict it from your mind and your body let it go make it go and that has to be a must not a choice well it is quite everything you do is a choice obviously but that's a must that's something that needs to be done you need to evict any prejudice you have towards yourself because being ill having a disability whether it's physical

or mental illness whether it's physical or mental is not a weakness it just means that you're a human being it means that you're human so I'm going to go now thank you for listening and I shall speak to you next time so in the meantime remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy and do something special today something special that you enjoy doing so take care lots of love bye