#59 Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety & Panic Attacks (Jason Newland) (22nd September 2019)

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is relaxation hypnosis for stress, anxiety and panic attacks. Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes.

Now, it's worth checking out the website for a couple of reasons. Firstly, because I put a lot of work into it, so I want people to visit. Secondly, because everything that I've done is on there.

It's got a lot of good stuff on there. Not just these recordings, but it lets you get a sense of other stuff that I've done. And also things that might be useful to you, because I've got a lot of relaxation recordings that I've made over the years.

Some short, some longer. And I kind of specialise in sleep sessions as well. So I've got hundreds of sessions for sleep and insomnia, which at the same time are also very relaxing.

So there's a lot of things to choose from that may be an addition to this, or this may be an addition to them. So I'm going to start with what I want to talk about today. A couple of things actually that's kind of come to my mind is that with anxiety, anyone that's had anxiety for any amount of time is very likely to have depression as well.

Someone with depression isn't necessarily going to be having anxiety. But from my own experience of having, I've had depression without anxiety, I've had anxiety that led to depression, because I was depressed about the anxiety. And it makes sense really, because I don't think anybody's okay with it.

And acute anxiety and stress, panic and all that stuff is, it is, it can be depressing. Because it's so horrible. But what I wanted to talk about is in some ways flipping it on its head.

Because with anxiety, I can't keep saying the word anxiety and stress, you know what this podcast is about. So with these conditions, the advice is always about what you need to do, what you can do, what you may do to make changes, to reduce the anxiety, to reduce the stress, to help reduce the panic sensations, the, you know, all that stuff. But what I don't think is necessarily focused upon is what is actually missing.

What's missing from your life? And I'll reword that. What needs are not being met for you in your life? Now, I'm quite a big believer in making changes if they're needed. And I know it's not for everybody.

And some people have got big financial commitments, like mortgages, children and stuff like that. Yet, if you're doing something, and you're profoundly unhappy doing it, and then you start feeling anxious, and you start feeling, you know, panicky, then maybe your body, your mind, your brain, your unconscious mind, whatever you want, it's actually giving you a message. It's sending you a signal that something needs to be changed, that your needs are not being met.

I don't know what those needs are. That's something that only you can delve into. But there's basic needs that we all have.

Being happy is, you know, after the basics of eating, having somewhere to sleep, shelter, oxygen, gravity, you know, the things that I've talked about before, those basic things, human contact. And that can depend. Some people feel lonely when they're not around people.

I don't really, I don't really have that. But a lot of people do. And some people need human contact, a lot more than others.

Physical contact, just having someone tap you on the shoulder, a smile, a friendly voice, words of concern, kind words. I mean, sometimes going out, even if you don't see anyone to talk to, just seeing a little baby eating an ice lolly or something, just seeing a big smile and a little child's face. Or seeing a little dog, how cute a little dog, you know, with his little tail waggling.

It can give you something that perhaps you're not getting. But when I talk about needs, what needs are not being fulfilled, they'd be something deeper. Because if you're, if you're unhappy in whatever situation you're in, it needs to be looked at.

It may be temporary, everything is temporary, but it might need resolving. I had a job, and I tried to stay with the job, even though the panic started, you know, in 2002, it was really bad. For a long time, it seemed.

Eventually, at the end of 2003, I quit the job. Because I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't face going in there.

So I lost my income, lost friends that I had at the job, because I didn't see them anymore. But I think it was the right thing to do. Because of the level of unhappiness that I was getting to, when I was there, it was too much.

Now my needs were not being met. Leaving the job didn't, it didn't necessarily give me the needs that I needed, didn't fill that gap. But it reduced the pain, it reduced the emotional pain, which is what I needed.

Almost like, you know, when people have a boil or a spot and they pop it and they just feel the the release. It's almost like that. I'm not comparing my job to a boil, but it's a lot of pain.

So what needs are not being met? And I would say we've all got needs, unmet needs. But from an angle of happiness, from an angle of anxiety, stress, panic, because if you're happy, and all your needs are being met, there wouldn't be any anxiety. Not a level of illness.

There wouldn't be the level of depression. And of course, going back to genetics, the brain, environment, the past, all those things have an influence on our mental states. So with my situation, I would probably attribute every, all of those to my situation.

Brain, the past, childhood and all that stuff. But I'd also say genetics based on what I know about the family, and what I've seen with other members. So there's that genetic, I'm not the only one that has had problems.

And then environmental, which you can kind of say is part of the past as well. But current environmental, that's something that can be changed. And when we make any changes, this isn't just me saying this, this is scientifically proven stuff.

Our brains change. Our brains are always changing. But our brains actually rewire.

Our brains are elastic, in a sense of, it has plasticity. I think that's the correct term. They're not made of elastic bands, or plastic.

But it's lucky they're not made of plastic, because no one seems to like plastic these days, they have to be replaced with cardboard, or something. So we can't change the past. And the reason I'm talking about this is because we've not got anxiety for nothing.

There's a reason for it. It's not just, it's not there for no reason. It sometimes feels like it can be there for no reason, and it can come on for no reason.

I realize that. But it's not. Realistically, you know that, I know that.

Anxiety, stress, any mental health issue, which anxiety is, stress is, if it's causing problems. Normal levels of anxiety and stress, it's not a mental health issue. But what normal, for one person, a normal level, may be different from someone else.

And thinking back to when I first started having the extreme anxiety, I almost felt like a layer of my skin had been removed. There's that level of sensitivity, that things that didn't seem to bother me or were able to even touch me before, suddenly had an effect. I was hypersensitive.

You know, I remember I'd be walking down the town, and someone, just normally, and someone would just walk a little bit too close to me and make me jump. Now, that's not how I am as a person. I'm not a timid, I'm not walking around worried about people, generally.

I have done, but it's a kind of rule in my life, a normal, my kind of normal state would be someone to, I'd be aware of what's around me. Of course, if someone starts running towards me, I'd, I might be on guard, obviously, but I'd be jumping, I'd actually literally physically jump. I wouldn't be jumping up and down.

But I would, it would make me almost like having physical hiccups. And that was awful. So that level of anxiety and stress, that is a mental health issue.

And that's where I think some people get a little bit confused or show, perhaps they don't mean to, but they show disrespect towards people that are ill. Because everybody gets stressed and everybody has anxiety at some point. But it's different.

Getting, you know, having some anxiety before your wedding day, before you, you know, or when you go to collect your diploma for your degree, and you've got to get on stage and collect it, or doing a best man's speech at a wedding or, you know, whatever, doing an oral exam at school. That can be anxiety and stress and, you know, inducing. But that's normal.

I would say for everybody. Surgeons, doctors, fire, fire people, you know, fire service, people in the army, people, the first time they did something that they're trained to do, guaranteed they were anxious and nervous. The first time a surgeon did an operation on their own.

The first time a pilot flew a plane with someone on their own, they usually got someone with them, but the first time they actually took off and were in control of that plane, they're lying if they say they weren't anxious and nervous, and a bit stressed about it. Because it's human nature to be. But if they were at the level of mental illness, the level of having, you know, acute anxiety, it would be dangerous for them to be in charge of a plane.

So there's a big line, big difference. And some people don't, I don't think they kind of understand that. Because everybody's had anxiety and stress.

And, you know, some people felt ill through stress. But they don't have an illness. They just had it at that time.

They had an exam coming up. I've known people that had driving tests for the driving, you know, and license and felt physically sick, bundle of nerves. As soon as they got the test over and done with, got that marked and ticked off and, you know, successfully got their license.

Or even if they failed at the end of it, they were relaxed again. Once they'd done it, they were fine. And of course, if they passed, they were happy.

In fact, I know someone that failed, they were happy, just to have done it and glad it was over. But that's natural. So stress and anxiety is natural.

And sometimes people talk about it in books as if, well, anxiety is normal, but, you know, small levels of stress. No, large levels of stress and anxiety is natural as well. But not prolonged, not for long periods of time.

You know, I can't talk about personal, private things. A member of my family was going back and forward to hospital for his daughter last year. Now I know, and he was working, trying to hold down a job and just got a new house, had a mortgage.

I know that he was under huge amounts of anxiety and stress, huge amounts, more than me. And I don't say that as like I've got a lot going on, but he was under more stress than I personally, I can't imagine having dealt with it. You know, I can't imagine how horrible it would to have to have dealt with what he dealt with.

But he did. His level of stress may have been higher than mine has ever been, ever in my life. I don't know.

But he dealt with it. I don't know how he dealt with it. But he's got, you know, he dealt with it.

And some people are able to cope. I'm trying to put it in a nice way so it doesn't sound demeaning to people that can't. Like, and I'm talking about myself there.

It's almost like it's putting someone down saying, oh, you can't cope with that. There's nothing wrong with not being able to deal with something and not being able to cope with something. We're not superhuman.

I can almost feel I want to put myself down because I can't, because I didn't cope as well as perhaps I could have done in the situations I've been in. But ultimately, I probably coped as well. And you probably have as well.

You coped as well as you're able to with the knowledge you had with the skills you had at the time. And we're still here. So I know that I go off on a tangent.

I understand that. But I'm coming back to the subject of what is it that you need in your life? Doesn't have to be what you need to, what do you need to change? So it's not a case necessarily of taking something away with me. I thought I needed to give something up, which was the job I had.

And it's not the only job that I've given up due to stress and anxiety. But it was the first one that I, I was really good at that job. It's probably the only job that I was really, really good at, sort of as an adult.

I was quite good at paper rounds when I was a kid. But it was something that I was really, and I had respect from the people around me. And, you know, that's for what I did.

Maybe not as a person, I don't know. But as for the job that I did. So I gave up something very important to me.

Something that I didn't want to give up. Because I didn't, I couldn't see any other way. I couldn't find, it was almost like I was running away.

But at the same time, I was thinking clearly, because I didn't want to get laid off, I didn't want to get sacked. I didn't want to go and have long, long, long periods of illness. And, and then, you know, eventually just leave.

I had, I think I was signed off for a month by my doctor. And I'd stayed, I was going in regularly. I had some time off in the end of 2002, beginning of 2003.

But then I got all the way through to November. And then the doctor gave me a month's notice, a month's off. And I used that as my notice.

I just said I'm giving my a month's notice and I won't be in. And I do kind of regret it. Actually, I regret it a bit.

But at the time, I didn't look at what I needed. I looked at what I didn't need. I didn't need to be in an environment where I was under stress.

And because I was good at what I did, I'm not blowing my own trumpet. But I was, I was good at what I did. So I was given responsibility to look after other people.

And to help like train other people up a little bit and which I enjoyed. And I relished that. Yeah, I kind of I guess I couldn't cope with it.

But I didn't address what I needed. I addressed what I didn't need. Which was the stress and anxiety, those buttons being pushed.

So I dropped it, dropped the job, got rid of it. Got a little part time job. And I ended up getting into debt.

Which I ended up eventually going bankrupt in 2006. So I'm not saying get rid of your job. I'm not saying get rid of anything.

What I'm wondering, what I'm inquiring into is what, what in your life are you not getting that you need? If you think about it like a diet, like dietary situation, we all need certain vitamins. I could probably benefit from is it vitamin V, vitamin B, I think, or maybe vitamin C, because I don't go out enough during the day. So that would be an example.

In a sense of what's lacking. So in your life, what's that one thing and it doesn't have to be just one but as an example, what's that thing or one thing that would make a big difference to your life that you can incorporate? So for me, I learned to meditate. And it took me a while to really embrace it.

It took a while. And it helped, really did help. And because I was going to a Buddhist center, I got to meet people that were going to the meditation, got to make some friends and so it added something to my life that I didn't have before.

I didn't have a social life before. I'm not one that didn't involve alcohol. So I'm around these Buddhists and none, well, most of them weren't drinking alcohol.

So it was just a different environment. It's like a healthy, quite healthy environment for me to be around. And they were very relaxed.

Which is also going back to the environment that you're in now. Because our environment affects us, the people that we're around affects us. So if you're around angry people, around stressed people, even if they're fine, physically and mentally fine, they're not ill in any way.

They just happen to be, for whatever reason, very angry, very aggressive, verbally. And stressed, like living a very kind of chaotic lifestyle. We're affected by those people we're about, we're around, we're affected by them.

If you see someone once a week, you're probably not going to be too affected by them. As much as if you're around them every day, or even more if you're living with them. And also they're going to be affected by us.

So if we're reacting to them by being stressed, they're just going to get even more stressed and angry, perhaps. So what's missing? And I know some people will listen to this, might say the word money. I'm missing money, because money would be the solution to all my problems.

And I would, I would say that anybody that has never thought that is lying. Anyone that says they've never thought that a big injection of cash would be the solution to all the problems. We've all thought that at one time, at least.

I've thought that probably thousands of times. But I still do kind of feel that it would be, it'd definitely be a help. It can't hurt, can it? Someone suddenly gave you 100,000 pounds or $100,000.

It opens up possibilities. But I don't have that option for you. I can't give $100,000 to everybody.

I wish I could. So it's a case of looking, what else is there? What other things? Of course, you can make the money, you could decide to devote your energy into making money and stuff like that. And then I've got thinking, because I do think about these recordings before I make them.

It might not seem like it when I wobble on and off of the subject. And I also realized that I do talk about myself possibly too much. But I'm going to continue to do that.

So sorry about that. I'm not sorry. I use myself as an example.

Because I can't use you as an example, because I don't know your situation. I could, if you contact me with your story, or with some questions, go to my website, contact me, I'm happy to start including those of you that listen. And maybe give some thoughts, some ideas to a question that you may pose or use your story as example, your success story.

So that way, you don't have to listen about me all the time. But what I was thinking, someone said to me the other day, a very, very, like a friend, very down. And in all fairness, I can't go into details.

But he's got a very damn good reason to feel down. There's some really extreme stuff happening at the moment. So I can't be a counselor to a friend.

Because it's a different relationship. I can listen. But there was one thing that he said, that he had nothing.

That he didn't feel that there was any point, no point to get out of bed. No, it's nothing. And no purpose in life, generally.

And I said to him that I don't feel that way. And I think it was more like a generalized state, a generalized comment that life is, you know, like life is crap, and life's pointless, and there's no point to all and, you know. So instead of saying to him, you know, things will be better, which they will.

Instead of saying that this is just temporary, which it is. I just kind of thought, well, I just said to him, I don't, I don't feel that way. Sometimes I do.

But not all the time. Not on a general, in a general situation. I've got this, the podcast, the videos, the website, this free service that I've been offering since 2006.

I've got this, something that I built and created myself. It gives me purpose. And it's not for everybody.

You know, not everybody's gonna wanna talk into a microphone. It's probably like, for some people, it'd be pointless. What, why would I want to do that? What's the point in that? It's just boring.

It's not exactly a rock concert, is it? I'm not a rock star. I'm not living the life. Not got groupies or anything.

But you know what it does give? Gives my life purpose. And before I did this, I never had purpose before. So it wasn't until I was 35 and a half years old, until I had purpose.

I kind of knew what I wanted. When I was in my 20s, I was very interested in comedy. I got involved in comedy for quite a while.

When I hit 30, just before 30, really interested in websites and building websites. When I was 27, I became interested in hypnosis and NLP and all that stuff. But I didn't know what I wanted to do with it until I was 35.

And then this started and I have a purpose. It's not showing off or bragging. It's just, it's really important that we all find our purpose.

And it's not like I'm saying I was born to do this. I'm just saying I've got a purpose. I've something that's meaningful to me.

The most meaningful thing to me is this, making these recordings and helping people. And I don't get a lot of feedback, but I got a letter or got an email today from someone that listens to my Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcasts. And it was beautiful, what she wrote.

Absolutely beautiful. And it just brightened my whole day up. And that sense of purpose increased.

So I think even with, even though I've been diagnosed with bipolar and emotionally unstable personality disorder thing. After I started this, that was in 2011. After I got a degree in counseling, I still had a purpose.

I still had issues of anxiety, still had issues with stress. I still have mood swings, extreme mood swings sometimes, really extreme. But I still have a purpose.

It's like that ground, the groundwork's been done. I'm trying to think of the name for it. What is called the groundwork, isn't it, for a building? The support.

I've got the support there. I've got the reason. We all need to have a reason, a reason, something.

It's almost like it's a handle to hold on to. Sometimes I've really got to hold on to it very tightly. And sometimes I can't even get to hold on to it, but I just remember it's there.

And in my flat, I go in the laptop. That's what it's there for. It's there for me to work on the podcasts.

The phone, it's here to work on a podcast. Everything, the chair, that's where I sit down when I make podcasts. I've got books on bookshelves.

All that stuff I will use at some point to contribute towards podcasts, recordings that hopefully help people. And I know that I'm going on about myself. But the reason for it is just to kind of try and put over or express how beneficial I find what I do is to me.

As far as having a purpose, having, and this isn't just a purpose, this is a life purpose, something that I'm going to spend the rest of my life doing as long as I can. And on a bad day, I don't appreciate it. But on a good day, or even an average day, it can feel really nice.

Just to look at the stats, see that I've had 3,000 downloads or whatever for the day, maybe had a message through, seeing people are going to the website, knowing that, you know, pretty much every minute of every day, someone is listening to me around the world. And I just, I hope that those people are benefiting, that you are benefiting. It's just a bunch of words.

It's just ideas. It's that stuff sinks in. And I've had criticism over the years, sometimes from hypnotherapists and hypnotists saying, it's not real hypnosis what you do, because they think I should be counting people down and imagine walking downstairs and, you know, kind of doing like trancey stuff.

But I'm not trying to, this is different. It's a very different style. This is suggestions of ideas that you can get emotionally involved with.

And actually, the more you listen to hopefully positive things I'm saying, the more powerful the message is, and more transformational it becomes. Because this 50 minutes or hour that you're listening to this, you could have been doing something else, you could have been watching the news. And you need more benefit from listening to me than you were watching the news.

Because this, okay, you get to know what's going on in the world. So that's a benefit, obviously, in itself. But there's very, I mean, there's hardly anything in the way of positivity in the news, not a huge amount of positivity on television at all, or in newspapers.

So what this is, is it's separating, taking a step back from that stuff. Because everything that we listen to, everything that we watch on telly, every conversation we have, has an effect. And the more often you hear something, the more of an effect it has.

On all of us, it's the same for all of us. So if you're listening to somebody telling you that you're going to be okay, you listen every day. And you're being told every day that you're going to be fine.

You're going to work through this, you're going to find a way around the obstacles. You're going to be well, and you're going to be happy because you deserve to be happy. And you're going to find ways to be kind to yourself.

And you're going to start looking forward to the future, the future that you create in your own mind. That's all the future is. It's just creativity.

That's all it is, is what's in our mind. So if you've got a job interview in 10 days time, or you've got a date, a date with someone in 10 days time, you can spend the next day, 10 days, imagining it going really bad. Or you can spend 10 days imagining it going really well.

Now, technically, I would say, either way, it's going to go how it goes. So if it goes really bad, or it goes really well, you deal with it on the day. But before that, you've had 10 days of feeling really good.

Or if you choose, 10 days of feeling shitty. It's a choice. However, the reality added on to that is, if you spend 10 days imagining it going terribly, there's a really big chance it will go terrible.

Because that's what you programmed into your mind. That's what you're programmed to do. You've almost been rehearsing for it to go wrong.

If you spend 10 days prior to going on that date, or going to that interview, imagining it going really well, feeling really confident, having all the answers, you know, the quick witted, just feeling wonderful. I don't know what the percentage is, the chances of that being a much more enjoyable experience for you. But it will be guaranteed a much more enjoyable experience for you and the other person.

As opposed to if you'd spent 10 days imagining the worst. Because it's going to be crappy for you. It's probably not going to be a very nice experience for the other person either.

Possibly. But either way, if you spend 10 days imagining the future, it's going to be lovely and really brilliant. It's going to be better than what it would be if you'd imagined it was going to be crappy.

Guaranteed. Always. It doesn't mean it's going to be exactly how you imagined it's going to be.

Because we don't know what something's going to be like. We don't know what it's going to be like to win the lottery until you've won the lottery. No one knows what it's going to be like.

What's it going to feel like to walk down the aisle and be married until you actually do it. We can imagine all we like, but guaranteed it's going to be a lot more pleasurable if you imagine it's going to be pleasurable. So listening to these recordings gives you an opportunity to actually take a step back from that overthinking.

And to realise that you do have choices. You really do. And you've chosen to listen to me waffle on for an hour.

That's if you haven't fallen asleep. Hopefully you haven't. That's why I always say at the beginning, only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

Because I do tend to fall asleep when I listen to people talking. It doesn't always go down well at work, but you know. So what is it that you need in your life? Which was the original question.

What need is required? What need or needs are not being met currently? It might possibly very much will require taking action of some kind. Because you know, I'd quite like to have a girlfriend. But I'm not going to meet anyone sitting in here, staying in my home.

So if I actually really wanted to date someone and have a relationship, I'm going to have to leave my home at some point. So there's some things they won't happen without action. Which I think is quite good really, in a way.

And I'm also always trying to think about how someone who's listening to this, how you may be thinking, how you may be feeling, questions you may have, statements you might be saying. And things like, well, you don't know what it feels like to be me. You're right, I don't.

No one knows what it feels like to be another person. We don't know. It's one of those things that humans say to each other, I know how you feel.

No, you don't. You don't know how anyone feels. You know how perhaps you felt when you went through a similar experience.

You perhaps know how you feel now, imagining how they are feeling now. So basically, you're just telling them that you care. But sometimes it feels like just telling someone, I really care, doesn't seem like enough.

Kind of need to say, I know how you feel. No, you don't. None of us do.

I think that's quite good, though. It's almost nice to know that we're all unique. Because if we were all the same, then we, you know, depending on who the blueprint was based on, there wouldn't be any anxiety disorders.

If we were all able to, or have that ability for things just to bounce off of us. Or we could all be angry. If the blueprint was from someone that was angry, constantly, always complaining, always blaming the world.

Everything was blaming outside for what's happening inside, when outside is not responsible for how you feel. All I really want, or hope for, from this particular podcast is to say that I know what it was like for me, or what it is like for me, to suffer with, and to try and deal with, and not always do a very good job of it. Sometimes do quite a good job with mental illness, mental ill health, ongoing, without giving up.

Never, ever giving up on myself. Never. And I kind of, it's not my place to want anything for you, but I can hope that you also can be in that position, and are in that position, if not yet, will be, in that position of never, ever give up on yourself, ever.

Always trust that things will be okay. Always, eventually. And it probably is going to take action, and energy, and focus, and finding a purpose, your purpose.

And you may, everyone listening to this, may have a purpose, that they, that you, it's just the reason, the most important thing, something that is bigger than you, where you're helping other people. And there's more I can say on that, but I will leave it for today, because I've probably talked for even longer than normal. So there are two things I'd mention, there are two things that I would suggest.

First of all, look at what needs are not currently being met. Maybe look at, you know, discuss in your mind, maybe get a piece of paper, write down what's lacking from your life, whether it's human contact, whether it's, it could be anything, could be absolutely anything. Maybe you're using a, you're sitting in a chair that's uncomfortable, and you're putting off getting a new chair, or replacing it.

And perhaps you can replace it, you can afford to replace it, but you're putting it off. And you're kind of suffering sitting there. And it's, you know, not doing your back any good.

That's just an example. I like to say that, because I know that could be way off for your situation. Maybe look at getting a different chair.

If your shoes have got holes in them, you kind of need to get some new shoes. That's obvious stuff. So there might be something that's bugging you, you don't even, you're so used to it that you don't, you don't take notice of it anymore.

But if you were to make that change, could be decorating the room, redecorating it, it could be putting away stuff that you don't want to look at anymore. Could be buying some books, starting a new hobby, maybe starting that hobby that you've always secretly wanted to do, or going back and restarting something that you used to love, and you stopped doing it for whatever reason. So I'm going to leave you with these, those thoughts.

And if you'd like to tell me your story, and include how listening to me has been useful, then please contact me, go to my website, send an email, you can send me a letter by post, you can, there's a form that you can fill in and just send it. And I can include you and your story. And I can answer questions if you've got them in a recording.

So I'm going to go, thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself. Because you deserve to be happy.

Lots of love. Bye.