(ASMR) (no music) #517 Being in the moment - Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis (31st January 2025)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Now, I didn't make a recording yesterday.

I didn't. Honest, I didn't. I can't even remember why.

I can't remember why. There must have been a reason. There's always a reason.

I don't know just seeing if there's any messages but they're new messages. By the way, if you'd like me to read your message out on these recordings, I will. I'm happy to.

Just to say hey, hello, hello, happy birthday or happy anniversary. I generally do these daily. So, you know, you're kind of almost guaranteed that I shall do it.

Oh, what's this? Showtime start your free trial. Oh, man. So, today, I've been cleaning the carpets.

And basically, what happened is the carpets got dirty so I needed to clean them. No, what happened is there was building or I don't know what it was but the council was digging up pavement just the other side of the garden all day. I'm talking all day long.

From I guess nine maybe a little bit later to probably about four, three, four, something like that. It was very, very noisy. Very noisy.

So I couldn't sleep not properly with that going on. So I had my what they noise cancelling headphones that I can wear. I can't wear them in bed because they're too big.

You know, I could if I laid on my back, I could lay I could wear them in bed. But if I lay on my back, and with the sleep apnea, you know, stop breathing and that's not great. So for me to sleep, I need to be on my side.

Can't do that with headphones on. And so what I was doing is I watched what did I watch? I watched something. I can't remember what it was with my headphones on.

And then what I was amazed about really is amazing just by putting the headphones on without even listening to anything it blocked out. I'd say 90% of the sound could hardly hear it really. Amazing.

Really good headphones. So I started thinking because I needed to clean my carpets. I need to do them every week really, but I haven't done them for about two weeks.

And there's 123 main bits that needed doing. There's another bit but I've kind of ignored that because it's not, it's not that bad actually. But those three bits that really needed proper doing.

So I thought as the noise volume is so ridiculous anyway, I might as well do it and get that done. Because the cleaning will first of all vacuum and then the carpet cleaning machine itself is very, very volumey. Very, very loud.

Which it's okay, I'm not that bothered. But I got used to it now. Not not the volume, but I've got used to how to use it.

And the knack is is to go really slowly. Because when you push forward over the dirty carpet area, you push the nozzle or hold the lever, and it releases the liquid or the water with the liquid. It's warm water with the cleaning liquid.

And then, you know, I do it in strips. So I just go, you know, a bit like mowing the lawn, I guess, and just go straight. And then go slowly and then release the nozzle.

And it starts to suck the water back up. And I'll go really slowly back in order for as much of that water to then be collected as possible. So I'm hoping, I'm hoping, hoping, hoping that I managed to get the carpets drier than last time because they started to smell a bit just from having been damp.

And what I'm thinking of doing is get myself some, this is really boring, isn't it? What I'm thinking of doing is getting some Febreze spray, which should kind of neutralise the, it's like an advert, neutralise the odours with Febreze. Yeah, so that's what I'm gonna plan to do. So I'm quite pleased.

I also do some laundry as well. Again, another noise making activity. So I mean, the cleanings never done, you know, the tidying's never complete.

There's always something to do. But the majority of the it's just not, it looks a lot nicer now than it did. And knowing it's done feels quite good, actually.

Feels quite, I feel I've really not accomplished something, but I suppose yeah, did something, you know, did, I made a difference to my environment in the now. And I don't know what that means. Oh, yeah, I know what I was listening to.

I was watching a documentary on a Milton H. Erickson, which is on Amazon. And then I started watching a documentary on Zig Ziglar, again on Amazon. And I did not know that these documentaries were on there.

It's like, wow, because I searched, I put in hypnosis. And I can't I don't know what other things I put in, but or self help or self development and stuff. And a bunch of stuff came up.

Some was not available to watch, you know, I had to pay for it or had to sign up for another channel. I don't know what that channel is. But these were free.

Well, they're not free because I'm paying, I pay Amazon 7.99 a month. And, you know, these were part of that package. And it's like, wow, two really, really good documentaries that I wanted to watch.

And the first one, I think it was called Wizard of the Desert. The Wizard of the Desert, something like that. And I remember when there was talk about the documentary being made years ago.

And Milton H. Erickson, for those that don't know who he is, he was a pioneer in hypnosis. And I think he died in 1980, I think, maybe 82, something like that. And he was, he was, he's very, very famous and well known in the hypnosis world, of which I am, I suppose part of, I guess.

And I've got books by him. I've read books by him. I've listened to audio recordings by him.

I have seen videos of him in action, but there's not much video footage. And what is available is very grainy and old. And is that you, Andre? Sounds like he's, he's banging his tail against the floor.

It's a bit weird. So yeah, generally, so I was watching that and then Zig Ziglar is, he's also gone now as well. He's no longer alive.

He was pretty much the very first motivational speaker that I ever heard on tape. So I used to buy the tape recorders, tapes for tape recorder back in the, I think about 97, 1997. And I didn't have them in CD format.

They just didn't tape. And then they got released in CD format and upgraded probably in the early 2000s. And one of his most famous albums, if you want to call it or training courses was called, I'll see you at the top.

And this was like, oh, there was another thing I was watching as well. That's a separate thing. Anyway, so yeah, I saw I'll see you at the top and quite a few sales tapes.

Now, I don't know if I've mentioned this, but in my 20s, I was a little bit obsessed with selling. Now, I didn't sell anything. But I wanted to be a salesman from the age of 18.

When I first started doing double, yeah, canvassing for double glazing, I started buying sales books and reading them. And for some reason, I continued even you know, up to the end of the 90s. I was reading and listening to audios and on selling.

And I got my first sales job when I was 31. Now, the fact that I did so well in selling in the company anyway, and I was never rich, but I there was limits doing telesales, there was definitely limits, I was never going to be able to, I suppose, unless I became a manager, and then perhaps became, you know, started my own company or something like that. Or moved into a field where there was money to read like yachts, or private planes, you know, selling stuff like that.

And that's money, and, I guess, selling mentions and you know, so there's, that would have been a good way of making money. But I didn't, I didn't really have the self belief that I could do that. But I was good at the sales, the telesales.

And I was also reading and listening to tapes and studying sales for, you know, a few years in the early, in my early 30s as well, while I was selling. So I, I stopped reading those books, once I stopped, I probably stopped reading them about 94, or 93, probably, I stopped reading the sales books. I was still reading hypnosis books, but I stopped reading the sales books.

And because I no longer really wanted to do sales, even though I did end up going back into a sales, well, two sales jobs in front of me. But yeah, so anyway, that that's a little secret of mine, I wanted, I used to read sales books. And I'd be working in a factory somewhere earning practically nothing.

And I had this dream of being a salesman, a salesperson, you know, and I applied for quite a few sales jobs during that time, during the 90s. And got given all of them, because it was commission only, commission only. They're the words that, well, luckily, you can't hear anymore, because there's a basic salary, legally in this country now.

And which would have been brilliant for me then, because at least I could have started with a little bit of a safety net and, you know, but never mind. So let me think of all the different sales jobs I did. Well, I did a sales job in 1990.

Again, commission only. And this is before I went to London, or before I went back to London. And it was selling, what was it selling? What's that thing where you share accommodation? And you basically own a holiday location for two weeks a year.

That thing, I forget the name of it. But timeshare, that's it, timeshare. That was quite big in the 80s and 90s.

And so I joined this company. And they enticed people to come along to watch a presentation, which would be a video of, beautiful video, really lovely, you know, going on about all the benefits and how wonderful the place is. And then at the end of the video, the presentation, they would get to sit at a table with one of us salespeople, and try and convince them to sign on the dotted line.

Now to encourage people to come along to this free thing, giving up their time, they would be guaranteed a gift, which could be a car. But it might not be a car. If that's very unlikely, it was ever going to be a car.

But they they worded in such a way that people used to turn up by train, thinking that they were going to drive the car home. So there's always been a little part of me that's not really a big fan of dodgy people, just, you know, a little bit. And it seemed a little bit, probably a lot actually, manipulative, and blatant lying, possibly.

So I would wonder, from that situation, and what were they being truthful about the deal they were doing? Of course, I didn't know, I didn't really know much about timeshare, other than what I'd been taught in the training. And I remember later on in the 90s, there was a lot of a lot of scams, a lot of timeshare scams that were revealed in the newspapers and on television, and people had invested money in these timeshares, only to find out that there was nothing there, or, you know, it'd been double sold, or I don't know, I'm making that bit up. But there was something, some of them were a bit dodgy, not all of them, but some of them.

So it got a bit of a bad reputation, I think. I'm not sure, it might still happen. I mean, I've known people that timeshare and they're very happy with a timeshare.

They go to the same place every year for two weeks. And they're happy, you know, it's perfect. And they've been doing it for a long time.

So I guess it's different, different companies and different kinds of people would sell that stuff. So I didn't know what I was doing. And one of the things I liked about the place is the people.

I got on really well with the people that were working there. And we were all kind of in the same, the same kind of space, you know, some were dressed better than others. I wasn't one of the best dressed people there.

Not sure, I'm pretty sure he's had trousers and a shirt, underpants, probably. But there was what was it? Yeah, I think some people, I think had a bit of support, so they could last longer without getting paid. And some people were really good under pressure.

You know, I wasn't one of those people. Really, I didn't fit either of those criteria. I needed money to pay my rent and buy food.

And I couldn't even afford really the travel to get there. I had an early morning cleaning job, I think at the time, which was just getting me through. In fact, I might have had two cleaning jobs.

And then no early morning cleaning job. Yeah, and then I go to this job. So I finish it.

I don't know, seventh, eighth. Wow, I can't remember. I'm sure it wasn't a nine o'clock start.

It was something like 11 o'clock. For some reason, it was quite a late start in the morning. Because they needed to get people, people were traveling from all over to go there, thinking that they'd won a car.

Anyway, the Yeah, I quite liked it. But I remember I nearly got a sale. And then once they went into the room with the actual person that was going to get them to sign the contract, they backed out and said no.

So I don't know if it's something the person said to them. Maybe it was the small print or you know, who knows? Or perhaps it was just because it was someone else get them to sign it. Maybe if I'd been the ones to get them to sign it, they might have just continued.

Who knows? There's no way of knowing. All I remember is, I told them about my, I just had them laughing. I was telling the people about my trip to Spain, where I went to Spain for the afternoon.

And they found it hilarious. So I just, and I thought, Oh, this is the way in. Just make them laugh.

Get them laughing. And I suppose I had a few sales techniques embedded in my brain that I've kind of forgotten about. Because I've been studying the year before sales.

And I had been doing canvassing again. Earlier in the year 1990 as well. So I kind of, I think if I'd have had the time, and the you know, the luxury of not needing to earn any money.

Eventually, I, you know, I would have, I think I probably would have been fairly okay at that job. I think I would have learned and adapted and become quite good at it, I think, possibly. I don't know, not really any way of knowing, but based on my limited experience doing it, I was semi successful.

In the sense of someone wanted to, someone said yes, and then they backed out. And I only saw a few people. And then I just didn't go back anymore, because I couldn't afford to.

So I was there for about five days, four, four or five days. So that was that one. And then I'm not sure if I can remember all of them.

But there was, I had a sales job selling the Henry Henley regatta. So this was when I was in London. And I went to this place.

I was expensive, you know, the Henley regatta is quite a big occasion for people to have money. And this was selling and I don't know what they're called, I forget what they're called, basically trying to contacting companies and offering them like a deal where they come along and they get looked after and they get drink and food and whatever. Sort of some commercial, not commercial.

Anyway, it's like a business thing. Anyway, so, so I had, I had training in that. Told what to say and, you know, given information about the Henley regatta.

It's only once a year and they were still selling it long before the event, you know, they were phoning people up. So I had a phone and a telephone directory. That was it.

And there was this guy must have been about 20 people in the office. And I'm not sure how many days I lasted. I mean, it was one of the things that made me think that it was genuine, but it was genuine, I think.

But one of the things that made me thought that this could be a job, apart from it being, I think, commission only, is the commission was about a thousand pound. So it was, I think it was about 10,000 pound was the sale. And it was like 10,000 pounds.

Commission. So for me back then, I'd never earned well for a long time, I hadn't earned more than about a hundred pound a week to suddenly get a thousand pound would be quite cool. And I thought, oh, it's just, they're just taking people on.

It's a numbers game. They're just taking people on with the hope that someone's going to have the skills to sell. And they're not paying anyone anything anyway, unless they sell.

So what are they losing? But there was someone that came into the office that made me think, maybe this could be a job. And I asked about him because basically this this man walks in is probably in his 40s maybe late 30s 40s really nicely dressed briefcase sits down at a table. It's not a manager, it's not he's just a salesperson just like me, the same as I was.

But he'd been doing it for a long time. And he was earning a lot of money doing this. And he was closing quite a few a day.

I mean, that's a lot of money coming in, isn't it? And I thought, oh, I was a little bit well, I wish I could, because again, I was in a situation where I had no money, nothing, nothing saved, needed to pay the rent, buy food, so I had to leave. Before I got very far, I had, I think I had four that were interested, four people are interested. And it was about sending, sending the information out by fax, and then get them to contact back.

And because I was fairly Andre, what are you doing? Because I was fairly conversational on the phone. I think that was helpful. They couldn't see that my that my shirt needed cleaning over the phone.

So you know, I could be equal to anyone on the phone. And I got quite close on one of them. Really, you know, it's like, and then it was a no.

It was a sort of similar situation as before, but it was very close. And I'm, I might be making this up. I'm pretty sure one of the people that ran the place said to me that I had potential.

But I didn't have, I ran out of time. So I just had to just just didn't go back. So that was, you know, that was a good, I kind of feel that my life, I should, I was a little bit underused in a way.

In my 20s, I could have done more with my life. I could have done more with my ability to talk about nothing. And sales and stuff I could have, I don't know, I think maybe.

And then I got another job in sales in the 90s. And this was a friend had a job, my friend got me a job. But this was wasn't only.

Yeah, it wasn't only commission was also a basic, but very small basic. But I didn't like it. I didn't like the job.

It was selling till roll, you know, rolls that go into tills. And the amount of people that thought I was saying toilet roll. Not a good start, is it? I'm going to phone someone up trying to sell them toilet roll.

Mind you, I suppose people do sell toilet roll, don't they? So yeah, anyway, I am. I did get some sales. So it wasn't that I didn't get any sales on that one.

But it was, I just couldn't, I just didn't like it. You know, I just saw this was Yeah, I phoned up my insurance, the security company and said, Can I come back? And he said, Yeah. So I said, Sorry, I'm not coming back here.

And all I did is just sit in the office with a game telephone directory. And I don't know, I never enjoyed the outward calls. Really? prefer inward calls.

And I've done thinking about it. I don't really, I don't class those jobs as being jobs that I've had. But they were.

So I don't class them as sales jobs. And I suppose, yeah, technically, they were. I also did count canvassing in London in 1989.

And early 1990. I did add two different other canvassing jobs. One was for insurance, life insurance.

Well, I was knocking on people's doors. That's a very more salesy than canvassing that was actually sort of a bit more involved. And then I had a job canvassing for sky.

This is the job was offering people to knock on their doors, offer them to have a sky disk, so they could have sky television, you know, all the channels and stuff. And to have that for free to have to pay a single penny for the first three months, maybe six months. And then if they wanted to keep it, then they would get charged, unless they cancelled.

And I had to call us up to cancel it and then we come and get become and get the dish back. Now, at the time, sky was a bit of a joke. You know, in the newspapers, they just like said it was rubbish and when actually it turned out to be really good.

But at the time, in 1989, 1990, it wasn't popular. But by the late 90s, it was popular by the 2000s and 2010s, you know, so it's I watch sky. I don't watch it.

I used to have sky when I first moved in here. I don't have sky now. But I've got the now TV package, which you can just pay for monthly.

And all the all the entertainment pack, things are on there, like the box sets and stuff like that. You can watch TV live, Sky One, Sky Two, Sky Five, Sky Seven, Fox, National Geographic, maybe. And there's different packages, you know, you can you can pay for the sport one as well.

But that's a lot of money, a lot more money. And all the films, you can watch the movie channel, but again, that's 12 pound 99 a month or something. So I don't have that.

So I did that for probably a week. I think I was working with someone I didn't like. So I think that's why I didn't continue.

Because working during the day anyway, so I was not reliant upon it. I was trying to get some more money. Because at the time, I think I was earning less than 100 pound a week.

I was earning about 90 pound 8089 pound a week, which is, you know, very small amount of money. And even then. And then I got this, and it was commission.

Yeah, I think both both of these canvassing jobs were commissioned only. So or were they? I don't know. Isn't that weird? I can't remember.

I do kind of wish I kept it that though, because I had nothing to lose. Not really, I could just, I had my day job. I was going out five nights a week for I don't know, two, three hours.

I was getting taken where I was going. So I didn't I got picked up and got took dropped off, you know, again, home, or near home. I suppose realistically, it was just tiring to be working full time all day and then doing that in the evening.

But if I was stuck, actually either of those like life insurance, getting into life insurance business could have been I could have gone down like a career path with that. And then Sky, if I was stuck at that, I could have got good at it, I think and convince people what a great offer it was just to have a dish for nothing for three months or however long. And I think the money was pretty good.

If people I think there was a commission if people stayed, if people took the dishes, you get like something. But if they kept the dish after the three months, then it was another, you know, bonus. And they also, if I remember rightly, there was opportunity to start your own teams of canvases.

So I could have took that to my, you know, back to where I used to live. And because I knew I had a team already that I could have got together to canvas. I just saying that I tried that before and it didn't work.

Due to laziness. It's totally true. Back in 89.

And I think it was yeah, it was the end of the summer. The company that we worked for in canvassing wanted to do radio advertising. So we all lost our jobs.

I found a yeah, I went into the next town, and I found a company that would pay me to canvas for them. But it would be a you know, I had to get a certain amount of leads, and I would pay that money if I got a certain amount of leads every week. So I put it to the people that I knew, found someone to drive us and everything and they all just let me down.

I had a contract signed and everything. And it would just been easy, which has been exactly the same as what we were already doing. But hey, that didn't happen.

So that was the free that was, I was really motivated. Back then I remember walking in saying, Yeah, I'm here to make you money. I'm here to get you get you as a patient to get your customers.

I'm here to get your customers. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm trying to think what other what other sales jobs I had during that period. Because I had the mobile phone contract sales job in 2001. Where it was phoning out and I was really good at that I ended up being the second best second top.

You know, I was number two. So I mean, I was number two. I don't sound right.

I wanted to be number one who wants to be number two. And I then went into I got a sales job in insurance. And then I had another two sales jobs in insurance after that.

So yeah, that's I had four paid sales jobs. Well, I got a salary plus commission. So four.

And, yeah, I did well with all of them. Kind of sales wise. So I'm just trying to think before that, whatever.

There were others, they were. And the reason I know is because I remember one particular place. It was in East London.

It definitely wasn't the regatta one. And I went and for some reason, this this lady or girl, I was pretty young at the time myself, probably 25. She was the how old she was.

But she really liked me really liked me. And but I just can't remember what it was we were selling because I didn't go back. Or I can't remember what it was that I didn't sell because I didn't go back.

Because it was definitely 95 because it was that period, another period when I was sort of desperate for money. Oh, do you want to hear the most desperate thing I ever did? Totally true. Oh, dear.

He's the most probably delusional and desperate thing mixed together. I did. This is back in 97.

Yeah, 97. Everything had gone a bit weird. And I'd lost my job.

And all these things happen. So I was very I was in need of getting some money. And I was down to probably my last five pounds or something like that.

I went to a talent contest in a pub. It was a singing contest in a pub, where basically they just played the music on the karaoke. Or you could take your own taping, you know, which a lot of people did because they were professionals or semi professionals.

I went in because I needed to, I needed to win that 50 pound or 100 pound or whatever it was. It was my last, it was almost like my last chance to to I don't know, just get something I couldn't run out of ideas and options at the time. And I went there and I think I had a coke.

So I didn't have enough to buy a beer. And I spent the rest of my money on a ticket to get there. And I sung George Michael.

I think it was Faith. I think that's the song I sung. It was okay.

You know, I didn't sing it badly. But the singers that were there were really good. Like professional singers and young, most of them were a lot younger than me.

And I just, I left. I had a chat and I'd laugh with a few of the people, the other contestants and stuff. And because I've been doing the comedy circuit, I knew, I knew what it was like to do a new act, or open mic show.

I've done hundreds of them. So I knew, I knew what the the vibe was like. So it was nice.

It was really nice to get out actually just to, you know, just to get out. Andre. Oh, that's it.

Go on to the toilet and put the carpet that I haven't cleaned. That's it. No, don't go over to the paper.

That's a good boy. Blimey. Thanks, mate.

You know how much work I put in today, cleaning the parts of the carpet. Which wouldn't need to be done if it wasn't for you. You swore at me, did you? And anyway, I sung my song.

And then I left. It wasn't because of how I sung my song. It was because of how other people were singing their songs.

And it was so good. Andre. Can you hear him? Why? I'm not even sure what he's trying to do.

But I help him sometimes. You know, if it looks like he's trying to put a jumper into the bag, I'll put the jumper into the bag for him. Or if he's trying to move something somewhere that he wants it to be, but he can't fit it, I'll give him a hand.

But I think sometimes it's best just to leave him to do it because it's, what does it call it? Enrichment. Enrichment or something. So he can actually do it and I suppose get benefits, get benefited from it.

Do it and get benefited from it. Yeah. Yeah, so it's kind of what I try and do a bit more.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, I left this place and I went back home. And the only real, I've not been to that many nights, talent nights that weren't just solely comedy. I've been to a few and my very first, my two first gigs, the very first two gigs I ever did were for talent shows that weren't specifically comedy.

Ironically, one was for Sky, the Sky new talent show, which was Sky Television. And I had no idea what I was doing. I just went on and it was in, I don't know, it was in Croydon or somewhere.

And this was in 1990. This is before I even moved to London. So I went up to London, went to this audition and it was big, loads of people.

And I just stood on this stage thing and just told some jokes, or at least I thought they were jokes. And then I went home. It was an experience, but I didn't know what I was doing.

You know, I'd never done it before. And then my very first gig in London, like when I moved to London rather, was in a pub. And I don't really remember it very well.

Very vague memory, because I'm sure, sure, it was the same week as my first comedy club that I went to. So that was my first comedy club would have been on a Wednesday. And this was January, I think it was January 23rd, 1991.

Let me check that. Isn't that weird if it's going to be right? It's 16th or the 23rd. I think it's the 23rd.

So, January 23rd, 1991. Wednesday. Wow, it was a Wednesday.

The US President was George H. W. Bush. The UK Prime Minister was Sir John Madure. Um, so I'm just wondering.

So anyone who was born in January 1991 will be nearly 30 years old now. There are 29 years and nine months. Is that right? Yeah, of course.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. See, I remember that.

Anyway, so the pub I went to was like a talent show. And there's people singing and doing magic and me not sure what I was doing. But yeah, I was too rubbish to even be embarrassed.

I really didn't know what I was doing. Genuinely did not know what I was doing. But hey, everyone's got to start somewhere.

And another talent show that I remember was one that I ended up judging. How on earth this happened? I don't know. But I ended up at a pub with my cousin in Essex somewhere.

And we were both from East London. We both lived in East London. And we were ended up in Essex.

I don't know how we ended up there. And we were asked if we would do some judging. Because we weren't from the area.

They thought, Oh, would you judge because the judges hasn't turned up or something. So me and him sat on the judge judging thing. As well as I think, two other people.

So I didn't want someone that was local. Because the local girl singer was the favourite and they didn't want to give favouritism towards her. Yeah, okay.

Well, we watched everyone, everyone was good. Everybody, not one. There wasn't that.

Honestly, that all the singers, it was all singing a singing contest. And they're all really, really good. And I just judged everyone.

I was drinking, so I wasn't paying that much attention, I don't think. And then, I think the, I think it was halfway through. And someone came and had a look at the the marks, because the favourite had already been on.

And the landlord came over. I think it was something like that. And he said, um, just let you know, if you don't, if you don't let that little girl win, if you don't put her as the winner, you're gonna be lucky to get out of here alive.

Because everyone in here is supporting her. I was like, really? So I found it hilarious. I don't know why.

And I said, I don't care if you want, I'll put her down as a winner. I really couldn't care. And my cousin seemed a bit worried.

And I just, I don't know why. I don't know why I found it funny. Maybe it's because I was drinking or whatever.

But so she won. You know, the little girl that was destined to win won. Very unfair.

I didn't think it was. I mean, she may well have been the best singer, I can't remember. But it's not really the way to do things, is it? Especially as I said that we were on there, so that didn't happen.

That's why they asked us to, why ask two complete strangers to do that anyway, especially if it meant something to them. And it was a big prize. It was something like an opportunity to perform at Butlins or something.

If you won the overall, because there's the Essex, you know, if you won the Essex one, and then you go on to win, you know, there's regionals and then a national one. And it was held at Butlins and stuff. And I don't know, something like that.

I wasn't completely listening to what they said. And afterwards, at the end of it, did we let her win? I can't remember if we did let her win. Either way, I didn't care.

But she did win. And it was a few people like people are staring at me and that. My cousin wanted to get out, he wanted to leave.

And I said, No, no. So when the competition was ended, I ended up going on doing karaoke and singing and singing to the people that were been trying to be intimidating to me. It was so funny.

I don't know why I just I bit a, what's the right word? Childish. I find stuff like that funny. It's like getting so excited about things that are not really that important.

Yeah, of course, they want their kid to win. But why would you want your child to win unless your child was the best? You know, if there was someone else, it's like a comedy show. I wouldn't even want, I entered comedy shows, comedy, talent shows, loads of them.

I didn't want to win over someone that was getting more laughs than me. It never happened anyway. But I did quite well in one competition.

I got through to the final. But the thing is, the person that gets the most laughs deserves to win. It's as simple as that.

So the best singer deserves to win. But then singing is, so is laughter. I suppose it's different.

Laughter you can hear. You can tell which one has had the best reception. Generally, you could put the laughter.

With singers, it's a little bit different, especially if they're kids. You don't, you know, I think what I did, I basically gave them all top marks, or bottom marks, one of them, I might just put them down as one, two, five, six, just random little flashback to when I was doing my exams. Yeah.

A little bit of a troublemaker, really. I don't know. It was funny, though.

It really was funny. Especially as I was almost at that time, this was in the late 90s. You know, maybe even 2000.

So you know, I was almost a veteran of those kind of shows. Those talent contests, performing in front of people that didn't know who I was. I've done it hundreds of times, myself, as well as doing karaoke and singing in front of people.

Hundreds of times. Always got a better response when I sang to when I was trying to tell jokes. So it's just kind of, it's hard to be intimidated by that environment, when you've done it so often.

Did I make that up? I might have done. I can't remember. It might all be made up now.

Now. Diddly diddly diddly down. So that's it.

I think I'm gonna go. Thank you very much for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy.

Lots of love. Bye.