#397 Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis BUBBLES (Jason Newland) (11th August 2021)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name, my name is Jason Newland. This, this, this, this is let me bore you to sleep, sleep, sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes and just thank you for listening.

Hope you're all well and I'm, I'm gonna eat a lion bar. So, um, it's quite a good thing to do when I'm eating, when I'm talking, doing this rather, because I'm constantly lying. Lion, lion, lion, lion.

It sounds similar. I'm not really doing myself any favours. It's 5.42 in the morning.

i'm drinking coke and eating a lion bar yeah that's a good idea it's actually a duo a lion bar duo so i'm only gonna have half so it's only one little one it's about two and a half three inches long so it's a good mouthful ah it's nice i'm amusing myself by eating i had years ago i had someone moan at me he said do you really have to drink water when you're making recordings now at the time the recording i'd made i was making while i was in the middle of a chest infection when

i say in the middle i mean it's not a traffic jam is it but all around about but in the middle you know i just got past the phase where i was like coughing all the time and i wanted to make a recording so i did but i had to keep drinking water to stop myself from coughing because it was a video recording so i couldn't well technically i could edit it but i didn't really have the equipment to edit back then with an audio recording it's easier i can cough and i mean i don't

fart but if i did fart i could edit that out and i did a recording earlier and andre sneezed left it in it was uh i can't remember i think it's a deep sleep whisper one but the thing is the only reason i left it in is because i talk i was talking about it for another like 30 seconds about him sneezing why am i talking about that for that was not i haven't had any chocolate at all today i say today i mean yesterday with a weird um period really not not not the chocolate

i mean it was a bit of a weird uh last night when i say last okay what's it now it's wednesday now so monday night i was in bed all night pretty much and then i was in bed all day again june tuesday and i got up for a while and then i went back to bed again until about half seven and i've been up since then i just uh i just lost a lot didn't lose the plot i just uh couldn't function it happens it happens so i'm gonna get rid of this chocolate let's

put it over there and but tonight or you know over the night today i've done two recordings i did a relaxation for stress anxiety and panic attacks called we are we are born positive or we are all born positive and i did a deep sleep whisper one so the relaxation for stress when i was 120 number 126 and i think the deep sleep one was 100 225 i think i think and this oh who knows what this i think this is number 397 how ridiculous why have i done so many i should just i should

do something new shouldn't i do something different just stop doing these what should i do i don't know i've decided i've decided to definitely write a book that's what i've decided and i'll be listening to a lot of positive stuff over the last couple of days trying to uh help myself and that there's this a book really famous book i've actually got it over there on my table in book form but i've been listening to the actual audio on audible so i like to i like to listen to positive you know self-help motivational recordings on

audible that's that's the only thing i've really listened to i don't listen to the books you know the fiction books and stuff like that or science fiction and what's the opposite of fiction non-fiction yeah i was going to say fact i listen to fact so i like to listen to things that you know around the subjects that i'm involved in or interested in see like anxiety stress hypnosis anything like psychological uh therapeutic you know that kind of stuff so what i'm doing now is because i've been on and off of audible for three years and

i'm now going to actually collect the books and listen to them more than once rather than just listen to one and then replace it with another one which is i think it's okay if it's a if it was a fictional book uh i have listened to some fictional books i'd listen and i wouldn't listen again i generally wouldn't reread a book once i've read it if it was like a star and i shouldn't say story book but it was a fiction a piece of fiction so or probably if it was an autobiography i wouldn't reread

that or re-listen to that but when it comes to hypnosis books and there's not many that i can listen to on audible there's a couple i reckon they'll expand it but i've got two of the main ones that i've got on there which are about mental mental milton erickson i think uh yeah one's called uncommon therapy the other one's called my voice will go with you and so i've got both of those on audible so i listen to those the magic of thinking big is a really positive book i think i've got that in book

form as well as audio think and grow rich is the one that i'm listening to and it's not about money it might you know the title he it's napoleon napoleon napoleon hill came up with the title because he basically spent 20 years studying successful people of his time like edison and ford you know all the people this is going back a long time obviously but he studied i think 500 people that were all successful of what they did and he wanted to find out what they had in common and he then put it into book

book format released the book the original title was going to be something very different and then he it came up with the pithy you know think and grow rich which is a great great title i think the only downside to the title is it gives an impression it's just all about money like a quick getting quick rich kind of thing you know get rich quick plan which is most stuff in most people these days with classes a bit ridiculous connie very connie very yeah not realistic but it's not about that at all it's nothing about

that and none of the people that he just that he interviewed and got to know were people that were into that these were hugely successful people who had a and it's not just about people that were successful that had an idea and it became successful straight away he talks about people that really struggled but they kept going and they were determined and had faith in themselves so yeah i'm not trying to sell the book to you i'm just uh but if you go into the link there's an amazon link and i i make 1 million

pounds for each book sold and no i don't and no i haven't it's a good book i've read it i read it probably 20 years ago to be fair i didn't keep it you know it's one of the many books that i gave away or destroyed or you know my little moments my little brain fart moments but most of those books i probably gave away to charity shops like the sales books because once i stopped working in sales back in well when i thought i'd stopped back in nine uh 2007 i went back into sales

again in 2012 but in 2007 i thought i'd finished with sales and i got rid of all my sales books i didn't have them for the sales part i had them because they were motivational and they were positive and i just it kind of just works the same way as if someone keeps telling you that you know negative stuff it affects us doesn't it so if i'm reading positive stuff telling me that i can become something and i can succeed in what i choose to do and i can become better at that thing if i

work hard and be positive and you know it's it's that stuff soaks in and if it wasn't for that i wouldn't i wouldn't be where i am now unemployed and penniless apart from that i'm doing really well for myself you know in some ways i'm doing much better than i ever did previously in some ways i mean i don't have my book collection anymore that i had and i miss that i used to have a big book collection and i'd feel good just by looking at it so i'm gonna build it up it's gonna take

to get that book collection back it's probably gonna take me 10 years this it was a big book collection but i'll do it i'll get them back and outside of that i've got a home and i got just not showing off by the way just trying to sort of i guess just be positive you know about my own life try and look at the positive things and i got this place and i'm really really lucky to have this place i really am and i know that but i don't appreciate it all the time but then

it's not it's not natural to always be appreciative is it i don't think i mean it's nice to sort of get more in touch with that and to spend more time feeling appreciative and grateful but you know i'm not going to have that feeling all the time but when i can get in touch with it i look around and when i'm sitting right now in this brown chair that's not really mine it's my neighbor's um he lent it to me but i don't know if he wants it back he's not having it back and it's

really comfortable for making recordings it really is perfect for making recordings it's it's not squeaky it's not i'm not laying back because although it's comfortable to lay back in a reclining chair which i can't do anymore because the chair's broken over there but even when i could it's not the great position to be talking because it constricts the throat a little bit it's sort of similar to be like leaning forward if you lean back too far i end up talking like this if that makes me cough i'm gonna cough now i pause see i press

the pause button then i coughed that's the weird thing about recording with audio is you don't you could say absolutely anything as long as you edit it it sounds like that's the exact order of things and i don't i do very minimal editing but you know with these recordings especially the long ones like this i see spikes in the recording you know on the screen as i'm going to edit it and i have to check out the spikes to make sure it's not distorted or it's not too loud so i try to sort of even

out the the sound and it takes sometimes takes like half hour or more to edit these recordings and that's just a very vague editing it's not a proper listening through every single bit because i worked out when i used i did a that smoking course stop smoking course back in 2000 and i don't know when it was 2009 2008 2009 it took me four hours for every hour of recording to edit four hours so basically four minutes for every minute doesn't sound so bad when you look at it that way does it and i went

through the whole thing edited added some silence to make up for the time taken out of it you know so i just very very very long-winded but i've with a little bit of research a little bit of research i found some editing for the ipad that i can use so i might be able to use that editing software i forget what it's called but what it does it's got an equalizer where equalizes so that there's no peaks you know there's no everything's not at the same level because of course there's quiet times like if i

whisper like this it's not the same as if i'm talking like this it's a different but there wouldn't be any real like loud parts and also you can add um bits in which are quiet but they're not i don't know how to explain it but it looks quite good so i'm going to look into that and also i'm going to look into making some videos maybe with me on them maybe not but at the very least i'm looking to again do this on the ipad with software and make some proper really nice graphic videos graphic

videos i don't mean like x-rated i mean graphic as in i don't know like spirals mandalas sort of something that looks really good and then add my own logo in and so make just to do design it myself instead of oh the car's about to start you ready can you hear it can you hear it listen it's going to drive up to the end of the road turn around and drive backward past here again listen that's a noisy car every day at six blimey so it's uh i suppose there's not many garages open are there

so you can't get it fixed because i don't think there's many places where you can get your car fixed at this time they're going to be so busy i know when they open it's going to be a long queue of people with uh cars with weird sounding engines it's going to be like all these cars and i imagine the the people work in the garage thinking it's all these cars outside what's all these these teenagers these 17 18 year olds with their cars what do they want and the people come out of cars saying we're

not we're not teenagers we haven't purposely made our car sound like this it's there's something wrong with them oh you mean so you haven't messed with the the engine stuff so that it makes that really horrible noise no no we don't want it to sound like this we don't want to disturb our neighbors early in the morning oh that's nice of you yeah we're nice we're nice people oh oh oh god take have these boys and flowers oh anyway that distracted me what was i talking about must have been interesting always is i had a

friend walking through the park it was a hedgehog he picked up a hedgehog because he didn't want it to walk into the road so he turned it around to face the other way and that's a way to trick a hedgehog and he came up to me and said uh you know hedgehog one of the most dirtiest animals on the planet full of fleas and mites you're saying that as he's putting his hand in his pocket yeah that's nice yeah let's not shake hands hedgehogs i like hedgehogs should i tell you what i like about hedgehogs

is how quickly they move they give the impression that they're slow because they don't move do they when there's people around they stay still but they are fast the hedgehog moves as quickly as andre does i just want to say quick quickly i whistled i whistled i like the whistle makes me feel happy in my tummy i think i've lost weight i think i have i don't know why i think i'm eating less than i was and but i'm also been working out on a punch bag every day a few times a day but i

can really feel my muscles in my stomach and i can tense them i could tense them before but it feels like there's actually something there now i can actually it's almost like you know when you tense your biceps that's what it feels like in my stomach except the muscles are a lot bigger in my stomach that's like the biggest arm you've ever seen i like my little punch bag although i think it's i don't know how long it's going to stick to the wall it definitely rattles when i punch it i do like it well

i do now though i don't wear gloves i do it with bare hands because when i broke my hand i thought you know what there's no point punching with gloves like i punch well for me i mean it is for other people but personally it's good to just if you punch a bag with gloves you can punch with any part of your hand providing your your wrist is supported or is straight you're not going to hurt yourself generally but if you do it without gloves i'm i'm not saying you should punch you shouldn't punch a

punch bag without gloves you should wear protection and protect your hands but i noticed when i did it without gloves i had to change the way i was punching and i had to change my hand position and be a lot more careful in the technique so that i didn't hurt my hand i didn't hurt my wrist and now quite a nice little technique going there yeah of course i'll put the gloves on i could punch because it's it's it's not real you know because like you can punch with your little with your your little knuckles

on your hand with a punch with boxing gloves and it don't hurt but that's not a good you know it's not very it's not the right way to do it if you're having a fight with a punch bag yeah yeah i remember i went into a pub once years ago and my wrist was hurting i don't know why i really i don't know my wrist was just hurting and i bought a a splint for my for my wrist from the chemist it was just like a a thing that you put on your hand and your

wrist to support your wrist i don't know why it was hurting all i knew it was really hurting a lot so i put this splint on to support it so i go into the pub to have a drink i'm not sure if it was my right hand or my left hand right wrist or left wrist i don't know and this happened a couple of times when i was younger just where i had to wear supports on my wrists doesn't happen anymore apart from when i broke my wrist but my wrists seem quite strong these days

apart from when they're not and the this bloke was at a bar i wasn't far from the bar itself and i was just sitting down having a pint of lager and he turned around and said to me something about oh you're punching the wall again are you walls don't hit back or something like that really like he was looking for an argument looking for a row and i thought how pathetic to try and pick a fight with someone that's clearly injured you know that's the most one of the most pathetic things ever isn't it yeah

let's pick a fight with a with a one-armed man so i shot him i didn't and i just moved into the other part of the pub i thought i can't deal with that kind of silliness and i just hope that he had a similar conversation with some of the locals that went in there because he could have fun with them but no i was he's like oh if i'd have gone in there with what a brace on my leg would you been kicking a wall no i haven't been kicking a wall i did it skiing

off the roof well actually do you really want to know how i hurt my leg i was climbing out your mum's bedroom window when your dad arrived home early from work and i slipped it's too easy you know too easy to slip in those situations i tell you what i like about the carry on films what makes me laugh that the films make me laugh it's my not really my era they are but they started in the 50s and they were in the 60s and the 70s but they'd all kind of they'd be on regularly

on television all the way through my childhood you know all you know regularly on like on a sunday sunday afternoon so i saw every single one of them many times over and i didn't realize until recently that all of or pretty much all of the male characters were quite old you know and they were always chasing after young women but no one questioned it back then i'm not saying that um i'm not being ageist because i think if young women want to date older men they should be allowed no i'm very on it you know

all about equality and if a young adult woman wants this to date someone you know 49 that's 49 for example then she should be allowed to do what she wants to do without society frowning upon her so i'm very much and i'm a feminist basically i am a feminist so in fact i encourage i encourage young women to date older men i think that's that that's definitely feminism isn't it in fact it should be compulsory that's that's that's an extreme feminist i am a i am a feminist extremist really compulsory it's uh it's to be

fair if if a young woman i don't know 22 dates a 49 year old let's say at least after that she'll appreciate men near her age start to appreciate them or not i don't know i saw this documentary the other day and then it is it's about age gap love but every single one of the people that were older were rich and there was i think there's one woman and three men they were all no four men and maybe two women i don't know there was two different documentaries both the same night episodes one and

two so there was a hairdresser that was with his younger wife but he was famous anyway he's a famous hairdresser and rich and you know so he was i forget his name what's his name he's got blonde hair well he was blonde and nicky clark is it nicky so he was a handsome man anyway so i don't think it would have made any difference if he had money or not yeah right but you know he's he's cool but he's married to someone that's but he's rich and there was another really really proper mega rich person

that owned an insurance company and the lady that he married 10 years previously they got together she was working in his office and there's something something about him the owner of this successful insurance company something about him that really you know appealed to her so they got together which is lovely it's very romantic and then there is there is this this lady and she was really really successful business woman person human and she you know she was just enjoying herself and she was dating not she liked to date really young men like 24 something like

that not 24 men 24 age and she was about 96 or something and that was quite cool and there was another another one another lady who is rich as well but she was i think she was married or she was at least living with some a man who was younger than her sons and he said look it's got nothing to do with her having money and the camera crew started laughing he started laughing he said i hope you're not going to put that in the documentary i couldn't say that with a straight face and they

said no of course we won't he said uh yeah but he no he seemed really happy they both seemed happy i don't think it should make any difference i always used to love going out with older women you know i was very very young at the time fairly young i mean my first and trying to word this correctly my first party was with a 25 year old when i was 19 and it was a nice party uh cake and a balloon and yeah it was good it's nice and then i dated another girl one lady

when i was 20 and she was about 24 and then yeah i dated lots of women that were a bit older than me but they were they were younger than me as well i think what was it there was one woman i met years ago when i was in a comedy club and i started trying to chat her up which i've never really i can chat people up ironically by basically making fun of the whole chatting up scenario but i'm not very good at pretending to be interested in someone yes it's you know it's so

i think i tried to do it in a kind of jokey way and but i liked i really fancied this woman really did she was lovely and she was talking to me and everything i thought okay you never know so i started like chatting her up you know putting on a charm and stuff at least i thought that's what it was and said you want to drink darling i don't know it was it was a pretty bit crass probably probably a bit embarrassing not for me but for anyone that was watching and she turned to

me she said i think you said something like i'm 10 years old didn't you and i've got three children i said i didn't ask for your life story i just want to know if you want a drink which didn't seem to help the i thought that uh broke the ice but it didn't and she got really upset with me that i was because i was 20 or maybe 21 20 something like that that i would dare to think that someone who was 30 would be interested in me i said to her look i don't i

don't care how old you are it's not your fault is it that you're that old and i mean as far as the kids go i'm not not trying to replace their father or anything and um i don't know where the relationship's going but if we do end up you know into a deep relationship and perhaps looking for a long time then you know we could look at i don't know adoption she said what do you mean adoption i don't i didn't didn't tell you that i did the snib i wasn't able to have babies i

said no i'm talking about having the other kids adopted by someone else so we could be together again apparently that's not a good child blind she walked away also i dated another woman she was when i was 17 i kind of i didn't really date her but i had a nice experience and i was friends with her and i was in love with her and all that stuff when i was 17 and she was 25 and then i actually did date her when i was 23 and she was 43 i don't know whatever how old

she was so yeah so i'm not ageist i'm not ageist just now anyone older than me it's just like i've got to date a pensioner now i look at it so like this woman that i used to date now she's she's about 72 her grandchildren are pensioners i mean it's just like what's going on very strange when i was younger i did spend a lot of time chatting up lesbians might sound like a joke but it's true i i just couldn't i couldn't i don't know how are you supposed to tell i mean one of

the women did so what did you not see me kissing my girlfriend in front of you for the last 10 minutes i said no i thought you were flirting it's just i was one girl one i say girl at the time i was young i used to call women girls and they were young as well but i remember one comedian she went on to be quite famous actually but i was chatting i think i was chatting her friend up i thought it was her friend so i knew i kind of knew her a little bit

from the comedy circuit and i was chatting up whilst i was attempting to chat i can't chat up i can't do chat up i just don't i can't i can't do that i don't i think the only people who can do chat up really like chat people up is people that are successful are those that don't need to do it you know those that need to do chat up lines doesn't seem to really work i don't think i might be wrong you know the whole are you from around here yeah it's like what is i

think it's easier to meet someone at work of course if you work my last job when i was in doing insurance that the very last job i had there was there was a couple of women there that i was really starting to get on well with and considered going out with or asking out there was one i can't remember either of their names but one they were quite similar looking as well in fact i started to wonder if it was the same person but uh genuinely but there was this uh i don't know what her

name was but oh i liked her and she used to talk to me and like purposely come up and talk to me and stuff and that was i was just sort of near sort of saying would you wanna well i've got to the point where i was about to say to her so do you come here often or you know where you're from you know just normal stuff and and then i left i left the job another one the other one that might have been the same person i'm not sure i had a different top

on though and so i was looking into her eyes and she and she she came i was coming back and i was outside i think i was coming outside of the building for me break she was going into the building from her break and she said to me and we both had the same kind of tone of voice didn't have the same voice but we had the same tone of voice very kind of yeah kind of on that level of i don't know i kind of felt a little bit connected to her and she said

what time do you finish i said what the hell has it got to do you and she said i was only asking us so yeah you ask all you like because it's my business isn't it she said all right then as he walked away now in hindsight which is a great thing perhaps i should have been nicer but i didn't want to play it easy you know i didn't want to be i don't want to be too loose i wanted to no i didn't say any of that i said so what time you what time

you she said what time you finish it i said oh i'm finishing at four o'clock or i think she said same there and just stood there and in fact i went past there was about six months ago on the bus still standing there no and she she was like and then she goes oh i can't go back but as if she was like waiting for me to say something i don't know what she was waiting for but i liked her she was nice a little bit grumpy but i don't mind grumpy women not all the

time grumpy but someone that doesn't like put on a fake smile not there's anything wrong with that because you know it's we've all done it and sometimes it's a coping strategy isn't it but i quite like the fact that was a bit there wasn't it i quite like yeah she seemed quite nice but yeah and then that was it and then i left and when i left the job they was basically the whole office knew that i'd been gone off ill and you know which they shouldn't have done so yeah that's a weird one i

don't want to point yeah should i said she said she said to me oh what time you finish should i said oh four she said i'll finish at the same time or should i sort of like got down and proposed to her i don't know what are the rules and if she did want to do something with me why didn't she say it because that's not the rules the rules is a man supposed to do it no that's sexist sexist and as i told you i'm a feminist not into all that rubbish just like yeah

the man should do it i saw one thing it's my goddaughter i don't see her anymore so i don't suppose she is my goddaughter anymore but she she posted on facebook years ago and there was a picture of a man or a boy of blood i don't know young people and he's she's got her hand around his waist and he's got his hands on her bum and underneath said this is how a man's supposed to or this is how a boy's supposed to cuddle his girlfriend and i thought that just sums up the whole kind

of this is how things are supposed to be it's not real life there is no supposed to it's just do your own thing be your own person oh i must hold you this way oh the the man should pay for the food i've dated i've dated people like that oh the man should pay i had one girlfriend she said i went sat down i tell you i sat down at the restaurant she said you forgot something i said i said oh man yeah i forgot to wipe my ass so i go back to the toilet

and um when i get back to the from the toilet she's still standing there he said she said i said what are you doing he said have you forgotten something i forgot to wash my hands i'll go back wash my hands come back to the table she's still standing there i said what are you doing she said have you forgotten something i said i've run out i've run out of ideas what she said you're supposed to pull the chair for me to you know so i can get in sit down i said what are your

arms not working yes my arms are working but a gentleman is supposed to pull the chair back to help a lady sit down at a table in a restaurant that's what a gentleman's supposed to do and i said but isn't a gentleman supposed to wipe his bum after he's been to the toilet and wash his hands i've clearly proven i'm not a gentleman and i thought oh wait a minute i realized my hands were still wet so i said that's okay i'll do that and so i'll pull the chair tight chair out and i'll pat

her on the back so i could dry my hands off it was nice apparently a really good way to annoy someone on the first date is patting them on the head apparently that's not romantic for some reason i'm not a dog i know you're not a dog when you pat me on the head like i'm a dog i said i don't i don't think you're a dog i think you're a beautiful woman so she said this this is i've had this a couple of times she said if you don't think i'm a dog why are

you patting on the head why pat me on the head i said look i don't think you're a dog genuinely i think you're a wonderful person i wouldn't have asked you out for a date if i didn't think you were lovely i'm not why are you thinking such horrible things about me she said why do you pat me on the head for then i said i just want to know how big your forehead was because your hair is quite high up i didn't know if your head was that high or if it was just your

hair apparently that's not romantic either i've done my best to be romantic but i can't it's like almost i haven't a second guess what do people like i mean i was pretty sure i went to the i can't remember the person but i was about 16 i went to the cinema with a girl and i put my hand on her leg literally it was a knee and if you know that's not a place i would normally put my hand but i don't know i just i think i saw in a movie once so i put

my hand on her knee and she picked my hand up by the wrist and put it back onto my own knee i said to her i didn't talk to her that was it didn't talk to her for the rest of the night in fact i think i just walked out mixed messages i'm pretty sure she asked me to go to the cinema but that doesn't seem very likely mind you come to think of it ah no i was there on my own and she sat down on her own no i've not met her before ah

that explains it yeah no i'm joking i wouldn't no no no i'm actually quite respectful i wish i i don't know probably too respectful actually over the years doesn't sound like it no but genuinely i've been quite good of uh not taking advantage of situations i don't mean advantage as in a bad thing but just you know not read the signals you know when the green light's flashing i'm just thinking no i'll still stay still stay here i'll still you know just wait yeah no i took a girl out once and she invited me back

to her place and her mum and dad were on holiday i think so i just went back she invited me back i think we were both 16 or 17 or something and she i think she sort of got some drinks from her dad's drink cabinet sat down and she kept like pulling her top down and then pulled it out showing me her belly and and i just sat there really unsure what to do because i was like you know completely inexperienced still am really and i took so long to make a move to actually read

her signals it took me so long that by the time i went to actually kiss her she'd been married for three years i had two kids and i just took i really was slow on the uptake on that one on that one on that situation i mean i fell in love with someone it's totally true she worked in a um a coffee place and i fell in love with her the first second i saw her i was like wow most beautiful woman i've ever seen and she was way too young for me so yeah way

too young he was an adult but she was young very young and i was probably 37 then i think there was well i was 20 i think it was yeah so big age difference but i was like she's blew me away with how gorgeous she was and i thought no not bothering so i went in there every single day about seven times a day and she still didn't notice me i went there for a year i didn't go every day but i did go in there and i could never build a conversation with her i

could never get to talk to her even though she was getting older so was i but she was she was you know not middle-aged but she was getting older and i fenced what from 2007 to let's say 2008 9 10 11 12 13 so probably for at least five years i really really really really liked her really fancied her and every time i went in there i was like oh she's so beautiful but she was grumpy and i made a laugh once i mean i fell over and broke me broke me leg but it was

worth it just to get a laugh out of her i thought what's next try and get shoot myself out of a cannonball against the wall you know i don't know what can i do to make a laugh but the only time that's the only two times i actually once said hello to her to her face as she was walking into work and she blinked me completely and i still loved her so something about love and someone that doesn't want me i think there's something there oh my god mummy issues probably but she there was one

time when i was 44 or 42 probably no 44 probably and i was the last one in there and i was just on my own having a cup of coffee and it was my birthday very boring birthday so i thought i'd just go into town and buy a book or something you know and i said to her it's my birthday she said so no i think she's she might i don't know if she said happy birthday she might not have even said that i said i'm 44 and she said she said to me that's a

nice age and then she just stood there and looked at me and i just left her i said i'll see you then i just because she was in there on her own you know and i suppose she had staff other staff in the kitchen and stuff but i just like it just didn't even if she even if it just didn't seem right to put her on the spot by sort of asking her to marry me so i didn't then she left she left the place and i haven't seen her since it's really weird i don't

know what i just like every time i saw her i fell in love with her even when she was grumpy and she was i don't think she liked the job i think that's what it was or it's just very busy and stuff and there's she just had no interest in talking to me and all i wanted to do in the whole world the only thing i ever wanted to do was talk to her strange luckily i've now got Andre which is a weird sentence to say after talking about being in love with a woman yeah

but i haven't had those feelings since and i don't know if i ever will i don't know not not like that it was unrequited unrequited love or whatever they call it i don't know don't know why i'm talking about it i'm missing mike and molly i can't tell you now mike and molly mike and molly i'm gonna go and watch that mike and molly you can't make me stay here and talk i want to watch mike and molly so you know if anyone does sort of feel the need to talk to me in that want

to know what i'm up to you can just listen to these recordings this is what i'm up to this is my life it's uh it's much easier just to make a recording for everyone to listen to than to talk you know in person it's much easier plus i'm not interrupted i prefer a monologue to a dialogue oh yes oh yes yes yes yes yes yes it's not really that i love the sound of my own voice because i don't but i prefer it to the sound of other people's voices i'm only kidding or am i

only jesting i'm only having a giggle a giggle giggle giggle right i'm gonna go because i've served my time for today 72 minutes so i will be back again probably tomorrow so in the meantime remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy keep safe keep well lots of love bye