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Now I'm going to talk today about prejudice. This might not be the correct word is probably better words to use, but I'll start with the word prejudice and see what comes. You know, later on in the recording, you know, something is a little bit more suitable for what I'm talking about. So start off basically with a diagnosis. Let's say you've had a diagnosis
abuse, depression, maybe it's anxiety disorder, general anxiety disorder, stress, panic disorder, maybe bipolar personality disorder, emotionally unstable personality disorder or something like that. All these things can include stress, anxiety and panic, they can all be, you know, Paul, that obviously, you know, general anxiety disorder would be specifically aimed at that. But, I mean, in my life, I have been, I've been diagnosed with quite a few different things on the mental health scale. I think 2019 95 it was depression 1995 it was stress 1997 it was depression. And I think 19 2000 or 2001, recurring depression disorder or something. And then in 2002, or 2000, or three, or 2002, it was anxiety disorder. That I think they decided his general anxiety disorder, Gad. And then in 2003, I think depression diagnosed with that, again, recurring depression. And then in 2006. I was diagnosed with depression again, this is from the GP, the doctor and then 2000 so depression a few times through the years 2011 diagnosed with bipolar disorder. And then I was also I kind of ignored it if I'm honest. Because I didn't want to. I didn't I didn't like it. If anyone likes it today, but I didn't like it didn't. I was working or self employed or as a counselor. I did not want that. hanging over my head. So I took some medication didn't like how it made me feel. So I stopped and I just can continue to work in which was the wrong thing to do because I got ill. Or ILA actually So 2013 I think it was, went back to psychiatrists and a re diagnosed me with bipolar, right again. But this time also
emotionally unstable personality disorder. The reason I'm telling you this is because the diagnosis itself can cause other people. In my experience, it might not be the same with you. But I do go on to a lot of the forums, groups on Facebook. And a lot of people do satisfying thing, that they're treated differently once they've been diagnosed. which, according to one of the psychologists that I've seen, is part of the reason why they don't like to diagnose people with such conditions like bipolar, or something that has a fairly negative connotation in public life. What I mean by that is, how often do you see a newspaper article where they mentioned the person's got bipolar? And it's a positive article. Man saves family from a burning building. And he has bipolar or anxiety disorder, that don't mention that. But if something bad happens, then I'll mention all and he's got bipolar. You know, this isn't about bipolar. This recording, I'm just saying as an example. So the prejudice, I suppose what I wanted to talk about is how do you deal with a prejudice? Have you experienced prejudice? Is prejudice the right word? And I guess also, maybe you haven't you thought you was the only one. Maybe you didn't realize other people also had that
experience. And it might be useful to know that. And also might be useful to get your head around the fact that that's other people's problems, if they have an issue with you.
And why should you be you know, why should you take that crap from them? If they've got an issue with your illness, then that's their problem. That's that's their stuff, isn't it? Ultimately, if you wouldn't tell someone thought you had diabetes, they wouldn't be saying,
that explains your behavior. Why explains why you are the way you are. And then every time you do something in the future, or must be the diabeetus
I think that's quite a crappy way to treat people personally. Yeah, to, to judge them. We judge people we judge each other as normal, to human thing. Anyone that says that they don't judge others is lying. Because we all judge maybe not in a cruel way, though. Maybe not in a spiteful harmful way. But always we charge we make judgments. That's how we function in life, we judge whether something is safe, we judge whether someone is worth talking to.
We make judgments, that's how we function. And we human beings and we judge but there's some people that really judge like proper full on.
And I my suggestion for me are kind of don't want to be like that.
Like to notice my judgments and so okay, well, is it true? In the same way as I say in previous recordings, when you have something that you say to yourself, and it's harmful or unkind Is it true? In the same way we could do that about judging others. Is it true that that person always does this thing? You know, because Gee, Realizing is also another way to function. Now we can't have our minds we have to group things, don't we? Makes it easier.
Otherwise, nothing, it would be harder. If we didn't generalize this notice in what we generalize in. So it's just, I guess it's just a case of notice in how we're thinking, question and not just accepting every thought that goes into our mind when it comes out of our mind.
But this isn't about stopping judging other people. This is about us being judged.
It's about dealing with other people. Other people's prejudices, maybe, again, I want a better word than their prejudice, it seems a bit harsh.
But suppose, stigma, the stigma of mental illness. So stigmatize something to whatever word you want to use, I think it's about the feeling that goes with it. Now, I remember when I, in 2011, pretty much all the way up to all the way through my adult life.
I never told really any of my family about what I've been gone through, you know, any of the depression, stress, anxiety, none of that, I didn't really open up about any of that stuff to them. So I put on a brave not brave face by just I kind of almost slipped left that behind. When I left my town, icon, his left it there, and sort of just didn't discuss it. Because I didn't really feel that they were in boobie interested. So I didn't tell anyone. And then 2011 December, when I was diagnosed with bipolar, it seemed such quite a big thing. It was almost too big for me to not talk about it. If that makes sense. It was something that I needed to tell people. Not everyone. I wasn't walking around to people in the street and saying, guess what? I don't know me, but I'm a bipolar person. Not just people that I know. A friend said to me, what do you feel like now that you've been diagnosed bipolar? I'm saying either No, no, up and down,
change in change changeable about it. And just the diagnosis is different, the symptoms are still the same.
That's the thing is that when you get diagnosed with something, nothing's changed. The symptoms don't change. So of anxiety, you get diagnosed with basically just telling you what you kind of already know, maybe, but they're given a label. And some people don't like the labels. Some doctors don't like the labels. Some psychiatrists and psychologists do not like those labels. Because they know about the stigma or the prejudice that the person may get. But without the label, that person can't perhaps get the help that they need. So it's kind of a double edged situation. I couldn't get psychology I couldn't get see a psychologist. I saw psycho psychotherapists for over a year. Now being seen as a psychologist for over a year as well. I wouldn't have got any of that. If I didn't have the label, bipolar, nd personality disorder which is two things acquired, they do go together sometimes. co calm coca mordan or something, there's a name for it. But I wouldn't have got any of that help, I would have got the medication. Because doctors will prescribe medication for moods to help the mood, you know, they'll give bipolar medication without actually diagnosing the person. psychiatrists, rather, you know, because doctors can't diagnose mental illnesses, or the maybe they can diagnose depression, that they can't diagnose things like bipolar has to be psychiatrist.
Maybe a psychologist as well. in that city, England anyway, so I don't know what it's like in other countries.
So prejudice, prejudice prejudice. When I told my dad, I'm not I'm not picking on my dad. So so when I told him and his wife I felt something changed. off. And that could have just been me. But I felt almost like I was no longer me to then I was an illness. That's how I felt. And I still feel that actually, if I'm honest, it's I've always been weird, I suppose it probably be. It's probably not nice to call myself weird, especially as I'm telling people not to be not to be nice themselves, and not to say horrible things to themselves. However, in the general scheme of things, as far as the society's norms, I don't fit in with that, and never have. I'll be okay with that. I just maybe, just, I don't know, maybe. Who knows, maybe it is because of the bipolar because of that. That's just I am how I am. Because of that may be or because of what's happened. We're all individuals, we're all different. But I think that unusual behavior, which has been noticeable since I was a kid, now suddenly made sense to some people. And
the idea that everything can be explained by someone's illness, their behavior, or it must be their illness, or their condition instead of their personality. To me seems like a shame. That that is almost I felt almost like my personality had been taken away from me. I was no longer a person with a personality, I was just this
condition. And didn't feel very nice. And I still feel that sometimes I still feel that with
some situations and people. I felt that way, when exhausted the Buddhist Center at the time when I got diagnosed, and some people treat me differently. Not unkindly.
kind of different. might be, you know, the old saying, with kid gloves, treated me a bit more gently. Which I didn't need almost tiptoeing around me, but just, you know, I didn't, you can sense it. Can you a little bit and maybe not, maybe I can be a bit oversensitive at times. So maybe I was reading more into it than what there was.
So I suppose my question is, have you experienced these kinds of things yourself? But then how much of it is real? In a sense, that I'm thinking, well, this is what I'm perceiving. Do they treat me this way because of the bipolar. Or To be fair, I don't even mention about the personality disorder. To most people, I just say bipolar.
I just don't need the extra. I don't want the extra judgment to be fair, you know.
And so I just if people want to know my situation, I say bipolar. And I've got a friend who said that, you know, don't tell people you know, what sort of online when I'm doing this stuff. But But and he was coming from a client place, because he knows that online, you can get trolls, you can get people being really cruel.
I would hope that I wouldn't get that. In this kind of forum, you know, doing a recording,
aimed at helping people in a similar situation as myself with the stress, anxiety, mental illness, mental ill health by talking about it on other podcasts as well, because I don't class is being something that I should be ashamed of. Just in the same way, as if I had to use a wheelchair, I'm not comparing my situation with being in a wheelchair to sign if I had to use a wheelchair to get around. Then I would use a wheelchair. I wouldn't stay at home ashamed. I would like it. But know me, I probably make it into a joke and have fun with it. Just and start banging into people and stuff or asking people to help me across the road just to celebrate my way into it and sort of just knowing how I am, that's possibly what I would do. But who knows, in the situation, I might not do that. I might hide mold or might hide away. When my nan had to. Shoes had broken hip twice a second time, she broke her hip, she could hardly move. And they got a wheelchair to push around in as you hated it. As using a 90s, and she absolutely hated the wheelchair didn't want to go out in it didn't want to be seen in it. And we're all differently. So I couldn't understand it. I could like Well, you're in the wheelchair. First of all, you're very elderly. I didn't say that. So I but no one's gonna even notice. Because most people in their late 90s possibly gonna be in a wheelchair, or like a, you know, some kind of sitting device being pushed along.
And she was in a town full of elderly people. But, you know, in her mind, she just Nope. So maybe she'd experienced prejudice. You know, from other people towards people in wheelchairs in her life. And she didn't want to have that aimed at her. Maybe it's just her perception. You know, now that she's in a wheelchair, she's, she's old.
When when she could walk, she didn't feel old. So I don't know if I'm saying should we embrace our I don't use Word illnesses, but you know, embrace both aspects. Embrace the things we can't change. Because if someone's, if someone's in a wheelchair, and they've got, maybe they're paralyzed from the waist down, you can't change that. At the moment, medical technology may, you know, I hope in what I'm in, it already is starting to do that. So in my lifetime, I think we're gonna see next 2030 years, major, major changes in physical health on a scale that just can't even imagine. So that's really exciting. But at the moment, someone's in a wheelchair. Then embrace it. And it's easy for me to say that because I'm not in a wheelchair. But I'm not talking about wheelchairs. I'm talking about any company. Is it possible though? That's what I'm asking. I'm not saying do it, but is it possible to do it? Is it possible to I want to say brace I don't mean wear around, wear it like a badge of honor. But you know, I've got a weird my mentality is this if I if I saved saved someone's life so I run into a burning building, save someone's life and ended up with a burn a burn arm. I probably wouldn't hide that arm. I wouldn't, wouldn't cover up, you know, in future years, once it's filled up and stuff, but it'd be a big scar on the arm. In some ways for me, I'd kind of want to be reminded of it, that there's someone alive now because of that scar. That's, you know, someone's alive. That wouldn't be alive. And that's an amazing thing. Every day looking at scar would remind me of that. I like to think it would, it might not. But I'm not hugely vain. You can I mean, I've got I've got a face for radio, you know, of not housing. I don't know. Is it possible to embrace our What do you want to call it? I don't want to say the word defects, illnesses that doesn't seem like the right word. Our the things that were not so pleased about our was not even a negative part ever is having a mental disorder isn't it's not negative.
It's what is it's not pleasant E for obviously, bass. Can we embrace it as in? accepted, I guess that's the probably a better word, isn't it?
accepting in an embracing kind of way without judging ourselves because we can't stop other people judging. But we can kind of give ourselves a little talking to so that we don't judge ourselves. When you don't judge yourself for maybe a mental health issue, you're not probably going to be judging other people on their mental health issues either. Which means if everybody with a mental health issue, be bipolar, schizophrenia, depression, stress, anxiety, you know, that the list is fairly long, but you know, whatever. The condition if everybody who had a mental health issue didn't judge, stop, stop judging themselves, which meant that they wouldn't be able to judge other people because it just wouldn't be in them anymore. That's quite a few people not judging others. And not judging, not judging each other. Regarding the health side of things, you know, I mean, it's so easy to say on a judge anyone, but you know, what, if I turned out to meet my dad in the cafe, and I said, Oh, he says, meet me at one o'clock. So I do. And I turn up and he's got bright pink hair.
And is, you know, I'm gonna have to do work charges correct, but I'm gonna you're gonna judge him. There's going to be part of me that won't want to sit within.
And that's just naturally there. Because why would you be so confused about what's going on? Because this is the last thing that my dad would ever do.
You know, so we do judge I guess it's noticing. But back to prejudice back to produce. I think a lot of people that may be this is just an assumption of mine that are prejudiced against people who haven't been to health issues would be someone that's never had mental health issues.
I remember years ago, another another really, really serious mental health issue. Something like an eating disorder, OCD, those things that, really. So I'm not, I can't mention every single one. Because they all they all include that Oracle includes stress and anxiety within them. It could be a part of it a dynamic of it. So to just sort of think what's just stress? No. Or sighs you know, the only people with stress are people that have been diagnosed with a stress disorder? Well, no, obviously not. It's I would say everybody, even those that don't admit it, have felt extreme stress at some point in their life. I mean, how could you get through childhood with or without not having you know, catastrophizing about something thinking it was the end of the world, thinking of that person. You know, being so scared that your parents or find out something you did at school, thinking that they were going to actually kill you when that was never going to happen. But you know, you absolutely terrified for maybe two or three days. We've all been through those kinds of things, it's gonna be different for everyone. And I'm not talking about extreme childhood issues, you know, bad stuff, I'm just saying, as an average child, we would have experienced extreme stress, but not giving it a label, because we weren't aware of what stress was when we was children, little children. In fact, I'd say lots of adults aren't aware of what stresses because they're unconnected with the word stress. A lot of people that I've spoken to over the years class stress as something that weak people have. Depression is weak minded people get depressed. That's what how some people think. which blows my mind the idea that someone could be so unkind actually, so dismissive of an illness. Yeah, if it's a physical illness, they'll be all over it be really kind of caring, and kind and considerate, and loving, if it's a physical illness, mental illness, that's some people whether it's the way they've been brought up, whether it's the society they live in, whether it's the kind of job they do, some people I've met in, in the forces, you know, sort of in the Army or something, have a can sometimes have a mentality where you can't show weakness. They've been taught not to show weakness. So take the class is a sign of weakness if you're, if someone's if they're feeling ill or stressed or got Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. And which is probably part of the reason why there's so much problems with veterans with post traumatic stress disorder, and anxiety, depression, because they didn't, they weren't taught how to deal with it. In the army, because they were taught not to have it. They were taught what, you know, carry on through it. Which does make sense, you know, on the battlefield. I mean, it's that's no place to have an anxiety attack, is it because that could be the end of your life could be the end of your companion, you know, people's your sort of soldiers that you're on the field with the field, you know, So you're basically putting yourself at risk and other people. If you was to have a panic attack on the battlefield, SWAT, do you understand the concept of like working through it and just, we're not working through it, which is ignoring it and carrying on regardless. In that scenario,
you know, for a lion was chasing you. It's not the time to start having a panic attack. That's the time to take action. I don't know what the action is, to be fair. So I think if you run they'll get you. So I don't know, I don't know what the correct thing is. I'm hoping I'll never have to deal with that. I don't have many lions around here. Lots of liars, but not many lions. So some people depending on where they bought up, what kind of life they live, could have a huge effect on whether or not they a judge or are prejudiced against people with mental illness or mental ill health. I remember years ago, I was in Butlins and those friend of mine got on quite well with him. I didn't know him that well, but I was drinking with him and I was working within so they said he taught us about a celebrity that I liked. And he said, I hate her. Because she's bulimic. I said, that's a bit harsh. He was like, You hate someone because they're ill. He said, My sister was bulimic and she died. So there's no logic in what he said. It's no logic. Basically, his sister was ill and she died, which is probably one of the worst things ever happened in his life, or will ever happen in his life, because he was close to her. But at the same time to hate other people that have that illness. There's no logic there. But it's emotion isn't an emotion and logic. I don't know they're not don't make great dancing partners. So prejudice can come from people that have actually experienced it. Somehow, I'm sure there's lots of people out there that have prejudice against themselves. That think, actually, that stress and anxiety is for weak people, even though they may be experiencing stress and anxiety. So the class themselves is weak. But even though they know that's not the case, logically, or maybe they don't, maybe they can't grasp it. But if they're thinking of themselves as being weak, then there's a good chance they're still thinking that way towards other people.
So it's, I suppose it could be a similar thing to people that they would go to was it gay conversion therapy? Because they even know they're gay. They can't accept that they're gay. And they want to be converted back to normal or whatever it is they classed as normal. Because they can't accept themselves for who they are. Or they struggling to offer everyone can eventually accept themselves or fit with us
we don't we don't we deserve to be able to accept ourselves? Isn't it something that we all deserve? Really, to better give ourselves a break to say come on. Little bit love, obvious self love.
Let's just Well, I think the prisons are full of people, full of people that have forgiven themselves. And a lot of those people have done some pretty horrible things. But they've forgiven themselves for it. I'm not saying that everyone in prison has forgiven themselves, but a lot of them have There's a lot that don't even feel guilty. I'm sure. There's probably quite a few quite a lot that actually aren't GUI as well, being wrongly accused and wrongly imprisoned, but that's a completely different subject that I know nothing about really, other than what I read monju thing nearly every fifth, how many thieves actually admit to it? You know, I'd love to see this one day. Oh, yeah, it was me. I didn't just want to submit this. How many people actually admit to the crimes they do? It's gotta be a very small percentage. So if someone in prison who's done, perhaps the most horrific thing that you can imagine, is they would forgive themselves
is able to accept themselves, which is really more what we're looking at rather than forgiveness. Because if you forgive yourself, then you accept yourself. Then can't those of us that haven't done any of those horrible things? I'm not judging anyone has because you're saying that those majority of people haven't done horrific things.
So how about a bit soft acceptance? If you know, taking a little bit easy on ourselves, chillin out a little bit. You know what? I'm not too bad, really. I'm kind of okay. Most people haven't killed anyone. Most people have never heard anyone really badly.
We're all alive. Otherwise, you won't be able to hear this if you were if you weren't alive.
And they were all messed up. Everything single one of us has messed up to various degrees. So maybe we can, you know, just take a little bit of a little bit of time to relax. And actually, make sure that there's no prejudice in your mind towards yourself.
And if there is anything there that maybe you didn't realize before. Get out. evicted. It's eviction day, for that prejudice towards yourself. eviction day, no talking instantly. No, three months eviction notice no notice at all. Bye bye. ego, no time to pack your bags. It's leaving your home now. Leave in your mind. Now. There's no room in your mind for prejudice against yourself. No room for hatred towards yourself. There's no room for that eviction time. Go. has to leave. straightaway. My time to judge yourself this No. That's not what life's about. I don't know what life is about necessarily. But no, it's not about that. About being cruel to ourselves. That's not what life's about.
So suppose when I started this was talking about prejudice and a sense of how other people maybe treat us differently. Maybe you feel you felt that you've been treated differently, since you've told other people about your condition. One of the things one of the things that I've noticed is due to the social anxiety and me Not really. Perhaps canceling that's it. There was a particular friend and I used to phone her when I was in town to see issues around. But then what she wants to do is find me and book a slot you know, in her day To meet her in town at a specific time, on a specific day. So I used to make appointments and let's make your point, as I say, Yeah, okay. And then on a few occasions, I cancel. I wouldn't just not turn up all the phone or text and say, I can't make it tomorrow. If I could do i'd cancel a day before. We've cut the days before, but sometimes it was on the actual day. But I wouldn't just leave waiting for me. And she, yeah, she sent me a horrible text message really vicious. having a go at me and saying I should make the effort and not be so lazy or something like that. And it's not laziness. I'm not lazy person. And this is someone who's also got mental health issues as well. And I was, I was almost surprised. I guess I was shocked, actually.
So that I don't know if it's prejudices, that's probably not the right word for that situation or that scenario, more a lack of what dismissive. I guess it's a dismissive situation. She was dismissing how I felt. And maybe always dismissing how she felt as well. Because I suppose maybe she valued me and me. But I couldn't face meeting her. And I had to look after myself. Because if I don't do it, who is? So I had similar things for my family, I just, I don't like traveling. I'll be honest, I don't like the traveling bit. And that live near any family. So I live in the middle of nowhere as well, which is, it's okay. But it's not ideal. Especially if you haven't, I don't have a car and my private jazz is in the garbage bin fix. So I can't get about so much. But I've noticed, the more I have canceled with people, the more they just stop. What into me. And I do understand that I do get a boost kind of happened with over the last five years. It's pretty much happened with nearly everybody that I used to meet up with. They just stopped contacting me.
So you know, it's Oh, yeah, maybe that's a completely different subject from what I was talking about. But being treated differently. But maybe I'm just being treated the same way as I would do. If I just counted on people anyway. Maybe? I don't know. This is more of a question. Really, I suppose this this recording more of a question. Do you feel that you've had you feel you've been treated differently since either your diagnosis or the illness? of stress, anxiety, panic, or any other condition that you may be dealing with? And do you feel how do you feel about yourself and about your condition? And do you judge yourself?
Are you prejudiced against yourself? And if the answer to that is yes. eviction, evict that feeling now. No messing around, evicted has to go. Not allowed in your in your brain or your mind.
Just harmful as a poison is a poison needs to be gone.
You deserve more than that. So I'm gonna leave you on that note. So if there is any kind of prejudice, and by prejudice, I'm thinking like what I said earlier,
if you if you think of yourself that by one week, a week because I'm depressed, therefore I'm weak or only weak people get stressed, therefore must be weak. You need to let that go. Because it's not true. So that needs to be affected from your mind. effect. So I'm going to have that under the word prejudice. I'm still going to stick to the word prejudice. Yeah, it might not be the right word, but I don't care. It's why do you care, but I hope you're okay with it. It might be a better word prejudice is
you know, you can cover all things can hatred, fear, disgust, distrust, you know, lots of different things. judgment and everything. So, yeah, doesn't mean all of those things necessarily, that could mean some of those things.
So if you have anything in your mind, where you'll think thinking that you're no other, like, you're not a whole person because of this, because somehow you're, you're weak because you have this illness or this disability, this stress, anxiety, or whatever the mental health condition may be. If you have doubt in your mind that that's a weakness, or that you're, you know, if you find yourself dismissing your own feelings, evicted, evict the prejudice, instantly, is almost like dismissing the dismission. And that probably doesn't make sense. But I think dismission is an actual word is. So you're dismissing a part of you that's dismissing your illness, or your condition. You're doing more than just dismissing it. You're evicting it for your mind. Fix it from your mind and your body, let it go. Make it go. And there has to be a must not choice list. Quite often. Everything you do is a choice, obviously. But that's a must, that something needs to be done. Need to vicked any prejudice you have towards yourself. Because being ill having a disability, whether it's physical or mental illness, whether it's physical or mental, is not a weakness. just means that you're human being it means that you're human. So I'm going to go now, thank you for listening, and I should speak to you next time. So in the meantime, remember to be kind to yourself, because you do deserve to be happy. Do something special today. Something special that you enjoy doing. Take care, lots of love. Bye
Hello, and welcome to Jason newland.com. My name is Jason Newland, and this is relaxation, hypnosis for stress, anxiety and panic attacks. Please only listen when you can safely Close your eyes. And please subscribe to this podcast. So you can be notified of new episodes.