#96 Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety & Panic Attacks - "NOISE SENSITIVITY" - (Jason Newland) (13th February 2020)

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Hello, and welcome to Jason newland.com. My name is Jason Newland. So I'm laughing because I've just seen Andre, what he's up to JC My name is Jason Newland. This is relaxation, hypnosis for stress, anxiety and panic attacks. Please only listen when you can safely Close your eyes. And please subscribe to this podcast, wherever you're listening to it, and maybe like it if you like it. And you can also help cover the cost of this free service by going to paypal.me forward slash Jason Newland, and the links on the website. All of my 1500 recordings are on my website and link to all the different podcasts I do. So I should do to get like a recording of that, shouldn't I just post it at the beginning of each each, each recording each session. Anyway, we shall do have the ability to do actually, by just
I'm too lazy. Now today I want to talk about noise sensitivity or sound, excessive sound sensitivity. But let's use the word noise sensitivity that would be the the correct term, I
think that most people would use or not enjoying noise. Now I realize this may not apply to everybody that listens to this podcast. And so I understand if it's not something you want to listen to.
In fact, you might cry, you might find it too noisy. So especially with this little fairy running around for some reason. So what I thought I would do is actually open up a bit tell you about my personal experiences with my I guess sensitivities this year if I use that term sensitivity to noise. And although technically you could say well, it's got worse I got to do with stress and anxiety.
It caused stress and anxiety in me. And it still sometimes does. But less so than it used to. So I don't think making recordings just about well, just to think of anxiety or stress as being something that happens
without anything else connected. You know, in the sense of maybe a panic attack, can you know I've had it happen in the past when I was in a bookshop looking at a book and there was no trigger there at all. So if someone was to say to me, which is kind of a standard thing for someone to say
something like what what's wrong? What's happened? What's causing you to feel that way? what's caused you to have this reaction? what triggered it when actually there isn't a trigger or not an obvious trigger you know, I suppose it's a bit in a sense like chronic pain
if someone's got chronic pain you don't ask them what what's what's caused. If you know that they've got chronic pain or the guy shoulder injury that's never that's healed but not properly healed, you know, in the sense of the stole nerve damage or the stool, you know, it's got ongoing
you got to accept Well, that's the reason but you know, almost it's like there needs to be a connection needs to be a logical explanation.
However, life isn't Carnival is as simple as that. So but there are other times when it is it is a
it's a reaction. So being sensitive to sound, and having loud noises would increase my anxiety. A lot, you know, I'm talking. It wasn't just anxiety and stresses or like anger as well.
And it's taken me What took a long, long time for me to go from being able to, to be able to get to the point where it doesn't affect
me nearly as much. That's not to say that if I'm in bed, and
like today, for example, downstairs, they were drilling, as electricians down there, drilling and making a lot of noise and of shaking the flat. I woke up to that and I wasn't,
wasn't madly impressed if I'm honest. And sitting there watching Telly and having that drill in, I wasn't enjoying it. But I wasn't angry, I wasn't fuming, I wasn't stressed. And I think part of the stress and anxiety came in the past is the anticipation of a noisy neighbor. So let's say had a noisy neighbor that maybe had lots of Music loud. So when the music was on, there'd be stress levels risen,
I'd get angry. But other times would not be sitting at home. And it'd be no no sound, all my stress levels would be rising thinking and expecting the noise to stop. And inevitably, why quite often did start? Because someone that's noisy. I don't maybe don't have that. There's a sense of consideration, it doesn't seem to be within their grasp, sometimes. Is that level maybe in other scenarios that they're, they're really sensitive and caring and considerate. But some people just think, well, I'll let my television as loud as I want. I should be able to play my own music as loud as I want, regardless of how thin the walls are. Still sound angry, the mind bomb? No, I'm not, you know, I kind of accepted it. I've lived enough places to realize you know, the ironic thing about this is as I'm making this recording, I've got Andre, my ferret running around, colliding into carrier bags and making way too much noise. And it's annoying me. That's kind of funny, isn't it? I'm talking about how your noise doesn't really affect me anymore.
Half light want to just chuck him out the window. But that's more because it wouldn't bother me who's just doing it because I'm trying to do recording.
Anyway, he's gonna do what he does. He lives on his ledger. So there you go. Right back to the recording. So I used to My first memory of having problems with noise was with my brother was on the top floor of our house. But two older brothers were living on the top floor with me. And my oldest brother was playing music very loud and kept knocking on his door saying you turn it down because I had to get up early in the morning to do my paper round. I was at school still. I was 14 and he was pretty that 880s we'd left school and his reaction was basically tough. So You know, my, my reaction was anger. And I wanted to gently I wanted to hurt him. I do not wanted to punch him. I didn't, but I wanted to. But because he just more because his attitude and because of the music. But from then on I just had a real issue with wasn't just the music, it was the attitude of the people that had to use it when I'd complain. Because ultimately, no one likes to be complained to. No one likes to be told what to do. And what I realized enough over the years, is when you knock on someone's door, saying can you maybe turn the music downplays themselves sorry. And pretty much guaranteed of in 20 minutes or 10 minutes, even the music really loud, perhaps louder than it was before. And, you know, Matt times overheard a conversation repeat afterwards saying How dare you knock on my door,
you know, sort of. So I cannot stop doing that after a while because it can get a little bit
heated. But I used to go off is to really, really
lose it. When I get disturbed. If that I got disturbed when I was disturbed, that makes sense.
And it was the anxiety, it did cause stress. In the moment it cause stress afterwards, because I felt guilty for what I'd done or what said,
I didn't do anything too bad too often. But I kind of felt guilty for what I wanted to do.
And there was that whole trial, try it time to kind of even out in my head. Because logically I knew that I was acting or over reacting. I mean, really reacting, overreacting. But emotionally, it didn't make any difference. So what I managed to get logical and managed to calm your mind down, I then felt guilty and felt bad and felt anxious. Pa partly because I'd gone against what I believe was real, what I believed was the right thing, or the right way to act is to not act violence or violent words or violent thoughts. And in the same way not to I just felt guilty, basically. And then it was the anxiety, of expecting it to happen again. And it did happen again over and over again for years and years and years. So all the different places have lived. And that's probably why I've experienced it so much because I've lived in many, many, many different places more than the average. And I've moved home nearly 50 times since I left school. So I've lived in lots of different places and experienced different types of people living with them or living in a room in a house sharing a house. And as a place in London, where the door kept slamming all of the doors. Almost like the head. I don't know what they were but they just slammed they closed on their own, which is a fire door thing was supposed to. But just because a door closes on its own slams, doesn't mean you have to let it slam. And this is when I was 18 or 19. And I said to the lady staff says can you stop laying your doors slam? No. And I did I used to punch the wardrobe in the wall in the room my head because I used to get so frustrated and then I'd be lying in bed thinking I'm gonna get woken up by that because sometimes it'd be late at night either early start. I get woken up by early in the morning. Before I had to get up. So that caused the degree of anxiety and stress. For me another time, even people that I get on with, I struggle a bit when they're noisy. So I lived in a place before moving to London. And there was a couple there, got on really well with them. Particularly loved playing loud, opera music really loud. And I was constantly asking them to turn it down. Because I had to get up at five o'clock in the morning. Because I had a little cleaning job guy to go to. They just but I liked them. But it's the whole identity anxiety from that not knowing that I can do it again tonight. Are they gonna? Is it gonna start up again in an hour? because it'd be up all night drinking and listening to music. And yeah, my nerves just, I was young enough for it not, didn't seem to affect me as much as it would. now living in that environment would be practically impossible for me. Just the whole constant barrage of loud sound is not. Although I can deal with loud sounds that happen occasionally. I couldn't, not constantly I'd have to move. So it's, that's one of those things, that's one of those situations that happened. And
there was a really weird and this is embarrassing. Feel big? Well, it's kind of embarrassing to really mention it. But this is a long, long, long, long time ago.
Back in the 90s. So just give you an idea how long ago
and the I got woken up by someone knocking on the door, and no reading the meter.
And it was like half seven in the morning or something. And then by the time I got downstairs that dead left. And I went out holding a screwdriver screaming at this person.
And again, embarrassing, terrible behavior. Awful. But it's almost like I lost my mind is because I was constantly being woken up where I lived. And and I was I was awake during the night quite often but getting woken up during the day which is kind of normal practice. Most people are waiting on the day. And I felt bad about I'd done worse than that as well later on. But that was bad. Luckily, I just managed to go inside and calm down. The thing is a screwdriver was on the side it was near the phone I didn't grab didn't didn't have a screwdriver in my bedroom planning to hurt anyone. I just ended up looking down and had a screwdriver in my hand as was shown at this bloke and he was being rude back to me which is suppose fair enough. They will do a one knock on a door whenever I want is Yeah, it was quite a difficult thing to deal with. And again, my stress levels rose. I think classes stress back then I just lost is feeling really, really tense. Really, really tense and sudden use words like anxiety or stress. I didn't understand what they were. I had no interest and back then it classed as weakness. That's what it was I would classify as weakness, where you mean you're stressed or anxious. Even though I'd already been given stress I'd already been put on medication for stress in 95 Even after the US still really. At that time, I don't think I really recognized that I didn't really take the stress and anxiety seriously, until I had the panic attacks in November 2002, when it really kicked in, before that, even having been diagnosed with stress, and haven't been ill for 10 months prior to that. I didn't take it seriously. I didn't really acknowledge it. But I was affected by it. And looking back to my childhood, I was affected by stress. I was very stressful child. And what I used to do is, I'd bottle everything up, and then not explode. But not angrily, just in tears. As a couple of times, I remember one particular time, I was thinking eight. And I went into the kitchen and my stepmom was in there. And she said What's wrong, and I just burst out crying. And always howling. And I didn't know why. Didn't know why I was at issue that was wrong, what's wrong? I had nothing. nothing had happened. It was just a cumulative build up, you know, in of various, just, I guess just being a kid. And I absolutely exploded. There's nothing bad happening in school. It was, you know, everything. In fact, that's probably one of the best times of my life. When I was seven, between seven and eight. The family was happy family. Pretty much there was at school. You know, everything was nice. It was a really good time. But I just don't know what it was just built up this stress, which I wouldn't a class to stress because I didn't even know what stress was. I had no concept of it at that age. All I knew is it was like when my stepmom said What's wrong, she'd opened. She just I was a shaken can of Coke, or lemonade or something, or shaken bottle and she just undid the lid. And I just everywhere. It's completely exploded.
Released, and I did feel better afterwards. So it's a cathartic experience. But and very weird. And I remember I don't remember like, like it was yesterday, cuz clearly it wasn't yesterday, it was 4141 years ago. So it's a long time ago, but remember it. And it happened a few times, actually. And it still happens. See, I'm telling you stuff that is really personal here. I don't know why. But I know why it's personal. But I don't know why I'm telling you. And things build up. And then I start crying uncontrollably. And it's really, really rare. It happens maybe once every couple of years. Sometimes it doesn't happen for two or three years. But when it happens, I just lose it. But not emotionally lose it in a sense of not known where I am, or wanting to do anything bad or anything like that. It's just a complete, empty in or release or just just too much stuff in there. And it just pops almost like a fizzy drink. There's been shook. And the last time I happened that I remember is when a friend of mine said something to me. And it wasn't even that bad, but it was quite cruel actually. And I came back up here and I was really always upset or why was being swatted been said to me. Especially I was trying to do that person a favor to help them and they basically just was a bit cruel but not horrible. Not really badly but just dismissive and a bit unkind. Really But not probably not meaning to be. But I just completely lost it. And that this is about three years ago. And I never kind of could tell what it was like what it what was it? What was it about why, you know, what did it compare to? Until my men died. And the first woman named was ill. before she died, she was ill. And I think she broke her hip again. And she and my dad follow me saying all unions ill I said working for common sick. And she's his attitude, like, it's no point which is upsetting to me. And I put the phone down and I just lost it. And now it's an I completely exploded. Yeah, bit like popped, like the fizzy drink. And that's the first time it happened. With for a reason, like dark could actually see a reason for it. Like a proper, you know, and this is quite a long time ago, back in 2013 or something. And then my, probably the last the next time it happened, when there I could see a reason was at my Nan's funeral. And I just lost it again, but it made sense then. It was grief. And it was it was a relief, or relief or release of those feelings that were kind of clogged up.
But it felt different. Because they didn't feel like there was stress involved. It felt more natural. Yes, grief is supposed to get upset. That's why I've always been taught you cry at funerals and all that stuff. So it felt natural, although I did really blubber really lost it. Everyone else was composed, and always just about stop punching the floor. It's ridiculous. But I have a time times and aren't always talking about noise and sound, sensitivity to loud sound. And I will come back to that, because I've managed managed to stray off into the territory of built up stress and anxiety. So
I don't know how many other people maybe you have that, that have experienced that feeling of just exploding and just like a fizzy drink, the lids taken off and all the overflow. And that's part of the reason why when I started making relaxation sessions, you know, back 14 years ago, I started trying to include the idea of an overflow, you know, like with a bath or a sink, so that if it gets too high, the water starts to move out of the bar for the sink, because there's that hole is now which is at the top of the sink. I don't know what you call it, but it's the overflow hole. I guess that's what it's called. And just in the same way of the toilet, a toilet can't overflow because it has a mechanism doesn't it so they can't the water level cargo above a certain level.
So I tried to include the idea in quite a few of my earlier relaxation recordings and all my Just kind of implant the idea and allow it to be there to automatically work when needed to come to action when required. Instead of being too explicit with just Rick presenting the idea of the overflow, which can then be realized, as a good idea, actually. Because then it's less build up. In fact, it can never build up. So I don't know how many people listening to this actually relate to that small child of eight years old, I was completely oblivious to what was going on, all I knew was laws, crying uncontrollably. And before that, I was rigid with, I guess, tension. I didn't have the words. But it was tension, physical discomfort, tense muscles, and probably way too much going on in my head. And not able would not have didn't have the ability to deal with that stuff.
So I think sometimes with the, with the sound with the noise, sensitized. thing, being a bit sensitive to noise, is when I've lived in places where there's a constant barrage of noise, or even intermittent, you know, might be every few days. It builds up, can't start getting that build up as stress, the the anxiety, the stress of when it happens, then the anxiety of Will it happen, the expectation that it will happen, and then the worry of what will I do if it does happen? Because you know, I am, I'm, I am officially a moody old kids, I am officially got a mood disorder. And my moods depends, why do depends on my mood, and are very controlled, not controlling to other people, but very able to control why I do much more than I used to be able to. And maybe not more than I used to be able to more deny, realized I was able to, that's probably a better way of saying it. Because no one has to wait to be 45 or 49, or 35, in order to be able to make changes is within everyone from any age. It's just sometimes what I definitely didn't believe I was able to offer a long time. But then I spent most of my life thinking I was really, really thick, really stupid. unintelligent, that's what I believed, as well as told or believed. So our beliefs affect what we do, and how we act. Which means maybe it's time to look at some of those beliefs. So as far as the sound issues go, I'm a lot better than I used to be. I don't react as much to background sounds. But I've also got coping mechanisms in place. For background sounds sort of so if I've got a noisy if I've got a lot of noise going on outside, so let's say either other loans. We have these hedge trimmers that come around, and they spend hours in the garden. Trimming hedges, they just seem to spend hours doing it. So I've got headphones that I can put on and listen to music or watch a movie watch Netflix. And I can't hear that. I can't hear the head. As the hedge trimmers when I'm doing that, other times I can't just don't care about it, I can get myself into a level of, for where I'm not bothered, I can even lay in bed and fall asleep to that sound. Which is something that I would never would have been able to do in the past or never, never would have been able to, but I never knew that I was able to. Yeah, I need to, I need to figure this we can. I want to stop my I don't just want to stop myself from limiting my future possibilities, or limiting what I do now. I want to stop limiting what I could have done. It doesn't change the fact of why did do. But I wanna I want to stop limiting the past in a sense of saying, well, I had no choice I didn't, you know, couldn't do anything then Well, yeah, different circumstances would be in knowledge, Biff education, on may well have been able to do that. Or may have been able to be an accountant or lawyer, different circumstances, but didn't have those circumstances. Didn't have any belief. I didn't go to university till I was 37 and got my degree when I was 40.
You know, is I didn't believe I could do that when I was in my 20s I wanted to, I wanted to believe it. To be honest, it wasn't even a case of I wanted to have a degree. I wanted to believe that I could get a degree but I didn't truly didn't believe it. And if you really if someone truly doesn't believe something that is huge obstacle. That's that's a massive big banana skin in front of you. So other things I've used over the years to help his earplugs. So I've managed to I started using earplugs when I was in bed and it did make a difference. And then I could sleep and I didn't hear the background sounds maybe you lived near I used to live near a busy road really busy road that was there was a quiet period between about two in the morning and five and then it got busy again lots of lorries and and so yapi get woken up I don't mind the sound of traffic to be honest with you. It's quite soothing now. Didn't back then though. So I used to wear earplugs. And all I would say if you do wear ear plugs don't push them in too far on give you some practical advice there. Don't push them in too far because I did that. And I perforated one of my eardrums which gave me I forget what is called a basically my balance when so whatever that thing is we kind of there's a detail for the my balance when and I couldn't believe that just a perforated eardrum could do that. So the ear drones are very very important. So I wore earplugs for years and only perforate my eardrum once I just pushed it in too far. So just make sure you don't push them in too far. So if you do end up wearing earplugs at some point. So for me that was a practical solution because I couldn't find any other solution. And now I don't wear earplugs. I did when I first when I was living before. Here, I do have ear plugs here. So I've always got them in case of need and I've got a big box of about 30 or something. So it's fairly sets They're there. They're in the cupboard if I ever need to wear them, they're there. So far I have, for example, today, the electricians have been drilling all day. If I needed to sleep, luckily, I didn't because I slept through the night before needed to sleep desperately need to sleep. I would put the headphones the earplugs in, because that possibly would have been the only thing that I could have done. Because it noises too much. It wasn't the Santa drillin isn't I don't find it very therapeutic. It's not very relaxing. But that's just me. Also got headphones. so loud sounds on a bus on sensitive. I'm still I'm still sensitive to sound. I am all up there I am. Bomb less reactive. Does that make sense? I don't react aggressively. I don't I don't feel anxious in the same way expecting to feel unwell. Because it used to affect me physically. I feel unwell by I'll be so tense and just so angry and not able to express myself. And
yeah, it was pretty awful. But now I've got these if headphones and they're really good headphones. And then noise cancelling headphones, which means when I got them on. And I'm listening to music icon here, pretty much anything. can't really hear anything going on outside of the headphones. So I wear them. I wear them when one of us so that I'm not because I find I know I feel nice to be talking has been haven't been completely cured of everything and be you know, you know, a lot of you know sometimes read books by people listen to someone in day they've got the answers. And they've got all the and they've done it all themselves. And they're perfectly well now what I'm not coming from that perspective, which I'm sure you're aware of. But some things that I may be that maybe don't work for me as well may work for others. Some things that work for other people will don't work for some people might work really well for me. So we're all different. So think anything's worth a try. So what I do is I have the headphones on, because then I can't hear what anyone else is saying. And that's nice. I like that. Again, it's just a personal thing. But I noticed that my stress levels, and I've talked about the headphones before, I think my stress levels are much lower. When I've got the headphones on and other things you could do soundproofing. You could soundproof the place this different that does that cost money, of course, but there are ways of changing sometimes is changing your environment. Sometimes it might mean moving on and that's extreme for a lot of people. It was never extreme for me. I could move with 10 minutes notice I was always ready to move. Not now, but I used to be and I mean I moved or Sean moved twice in one week. Plus, you know, sleeping on people's couches and stuff when I was younger as well. But there was another there are ways of changing you know, making changes. Always remember this. Salama counseled and he's had noisy. I think he had lots of kids playing outside. They work Kids but they there was like a playground, or a little little field, outside where he lived. But they were there late at night making loads of noise shouting and screaming and whatever. And he was getting really old, probably physically ill by the stress and anxiety. And I made a suggestion to him. And, you know, being a counselor, lots both to really make practical suggestions. But I thought, well, I can relate to what he's saying. So I said that to him, I can relate to what you're saying, in a sense of, I've had many years of issues with noisy neighbors and struggled to deal with a lot of loud noise over the years. And I told him that I wear earplugs, because he was talking about seriously doing something really bad. And I said to him, and he had his house for sale, she put his house up for sale, because he couldn't stand living there anymore. But in the meantime, because the house was taken too long to sell, he was talking about doing perhaps the worst thing that he could do. So I said, Look, get some earplugs.
It works for me. And he said, you know what I never even thought about doing. It's kind of the most obvious thing in the world, isn't it? When you think about it, but not everything is obvious, is obvious. Where it plugs. But then some people I know some people like this would be so bloody minded, so adamant in their own righteousness of being right, that they refuse to do anything to help themselves.
Someone would suffer through it being some kind of a martyr, but at the same time getting ill refusing to wear earplugs, because why should I have to wear earplugs?
Which is true, they shouldn't have to. But if it helps, even if you're only on a temporary basis, if it helps, then do the why why should anybody ever have to go on dialysis? Or have a blood transfusion? Why should anyone ever have to have to have an operation? Why should anyone have to have diabetes? Why should anyone have to do anything his life is there, we have things happen. And if someone's got diabetes, they either take the insulin or they die, basically, I think he's kind of this situation, an extreme situation. But they can say, Well, why should I have to take that? You haven't got diabetes, you haven't got diabetes? No one I know is got diabetes, why should I have to take insulin four times a day or wherever is we, the fact is you don't have to. But you can be very, very, very ill if unless you do a choice. And people don't like hearing that. Because it's almost style. You can't be a martyr, or feel sorry for yourself when you realize it's a choice. It's really hard to keep the anger going. When you realize that actually is a choice. No one can make you take insulin, unless you're in a hospital bed and you're tied down, and they're injected into you, nor can make you take insulin. But if you don't, you're in trouble. You know, if if the person was diabetic, of course. And that's just a small version of that. I mean, there's way more serious situations and a sense of if someone needs help. And they won't take it. They won't accept help or they won't do anything to help themselves. Someone's going through stress and anxiety, financially, unable to deal with it financially having financial problems, but refuse to get help, refused to get some form of financial advice. And then they're offered the choice of, well, bankruptcy is the only option. But their pride won't allow it when no one else goes bankrupt, which is not true, but in their mind, they want to say, well, no one else that I know has gone bankrupt, why should I go bankrupt? I've worked too long, too hard for this. So they keep going. And the thing that I probably don't mention very often predict some don't really like to think about it. But stress can lead to illness, physical illness, we all know that. But it can also lead to extreme physical illness.
Way can't come back from it. And I think it's, if possible, try not to everyone try not to let it get to that point.
Again, obvious statement, but something that probably a lot of people never listened to, because of their so called pride, or they're wanting to be right, or needing to be right. refusal to be a loser, which is possibly what some people would think it is. Personally, if if someone's got a business, and it doesn't work, they're not a loser. Because I've started a business and they've done everything they can. And it hasn't worked. Because not all businesses work as the fact. Because if they did, then well, it wouldn't work, would it because everybody would have a business.
And we need people to be doing other things in society. If everyone had their own business, you know, a successful shop who would deliver the mail? Who would drive the buses? Who would you know, do all the things like that?
Come live on tour my driving buses now. So you can go for practical help with stress. And as we're talking you know before about loud sounds
unnecessary noise I don't. I used to punch the walls. I used to punch stuff. Which is really, really bad habit to have really ridiculous silly thing to do. Because it damages physically damages the person who does it. You know, now time I broke my right hand twice at least twice officially. But I think I've probably broken fingers and stuff in the past.
I just couldn't move anything for a few weeks. So I suppose what I'm trying to say. And Yep, it's taken a while is there are ways around things there are ways to cope and deal with stuff. stress related
issues, find finding them finding the ways they useful for you that work with you. work for you. To help you and not everything is going to help everyone you know I did a stress relief exercise using a tennis ball or a sock. Two socks rolled together. That's gonna help some people, some people think is ridiculous. Wouldn't even try it. Because I think as silly other people might do in think still silly. Other people might do it and get kicked out of the supermarket. I mean, who knows? The thing is the mentality to open your mind, to the possibilities of change to the boss possibilities of something helping, because there's always going to be something that can help you.
Always. It's just finding it. That's all it is just finding it. And as far as the noisy neighbors, stuff like that,
learning to relax and be calm, is useful. And maybe looking at practical ways to change how you feel like headphones, ear plugs, extreme situation, move, move if you need to. But as an extreme situation is not for everyone. And it's not fair to have to move.
But just remember, everything's temporary. And even if someone's making noise, they will stop eventually. And I could go on his experiences of head by one because you know, I've done since I've just Yeah, I've had some silly reactions to loud noises in the past. But as it's not me anymore anyway, I want to go. I wish you lots of love. And remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy bye

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