#94 Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety & Panic Attacks - "REASSURING LETTER" - (Jason Newland) (9th February 2020)

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Hello, and welcome to Jason newland.com. My name is Jason Newland, this is relaxation, hypnosis for stress, anxiety and panic attacks. Please only listen to this when you can safely Close your eyes. Please subscribe for your money sometimes do recording. So it's very windy outside. So
if you're wondering what that background sound is, it's the weather. So, not a lot I can do about that. Now this is going to be a short recording, I can hear the chair can hear the chairs in the background,
a short one. And it might not be as short as I am expecting it to be.
It's, it's an exercise to do. But it's a really nice exercise that might seem really weird to do it. bikes in might seem, might seem, might seem. Yeah, just strange, you know a bit a bit. But it's okay. And of course, you don't have to do anything. You know, you don't have to do these things. But I would suggest to give it a try. Because it's nothing to lose. It's a win win situation.
There is nothing to lose. And I kind of feel that for all of the recordings. You can't lose anything, maybe a little bit of time. Yeah, but other than that. So this exercise is basically writing a letter to yourself. But specifically, writing a letter to yourself. Or through another way to describe this. If you knew somebody that was identical to you. If you knew somebody, let's pretend you know somebody that's gone through everything that you've gone through in life that has the same issues with a physical with mental health issues with emotional issues, relationship issues, whatever it is. As well as all the good stuff as well, you know, just imagine someone's an identical with the coolum dimpled toppers or something Deadpool is almost exactly the same shoe. What you want to do is reassure them. You want to send them a letter. And I say the word letter, it doesn't have to be written.
You can do an email, you could do a voice recording. You know, you're not actually going to send it to yourself.
No one else is ever going to hear it or read it. It's just a letter. So I'm used to I'm used to term letter, but as I said you can it can be however, whatever process you choose. I mean you could do on a what big whiteboard with a marker pen if that's what you wanted to do. And buys it. That's the entire exercise. It sounds simple. Well, it might sound complicated depends on how we'll have described and explained
what it is that I'm asking you to do. Basically, you're writing a letter to yourself a level of reassurance to yourself. But from a perspective of being another person, so that you can get rid of that block that you might have,
which perhaps has prevented you from being kind to yourself, you know, verbally inside internally internal voice, saying nice things, reminding you about your good qualities, about your positive attributes, about the fact that you're a human being. And you just need to take a break sometimes need to take you know, just be a bit bit more gentle on yourself. And also to remind yourself that things will be okay. Things are gonna be okay. Now, it's up to you what you write it, the only rule with this letter is it's positive. It's not a letter of, you're not writing down to yourself, all the things you don't like about yourself. That's the opposite. None of that is allowed in this letter. No put downs, not even as a joke. Even if it's a really fun, it's really funny. Don't write it down. Because this isn't that time. This is a time for being really, really gentle. Writing a really, really kind and gentle letter to you. And the reason I put it in a, in the framework of writing a letter to someone else that's identical to you, is because it might make it a little bit easier. When you start thinking of someone else suffering, or someone else having a hard time of it at times, maybe someone else that gets the sense of hopelessness, now and then. Or more often than you would like to. So this gives you an opportunity to write the letter that you would write in that situation was imagined you've just been with that person they've told you their life story.
And you are allowed back to them the same look. You know, you've been through a lot. you've actually done really well. I don't think you realize how much you've accomplished it in your life. Do you? Do you understand where I'm coming from with this? It's all the space now not part of the letter. This is me talking now.
It's about being really gentle. There's a person called Six Sigma who said he says he was a motivational speaker. And he said if you treat every single person you ever meet,
like this suffering inside then you'll be treating every single person correctly. Because everyone is suffering inside in to various degrees. I think I think maybe sometimes we use the word suffering in
to mean something extreme, which you can but it can also mean someone that's got some pain,
whether physical or emotional. You know, and everybody's got some of them. Everybody's lost somebody, everyone's bereaved. And what you know, it was last summer they cared about in their life. At some point, there might not even be a family member might be, it might be a famous person. That's, I mean, for example, I was watching a documentary about Whitney Houston earlier. And I just felt so sad. I felt almost. And I'm not going to judge myself for it. And, you know, there's part of me wants to mock myself and like, That's ridiculous. He never met. You know, why would you care, but actually, I do care. And I, I had love for Whitney Houston, the different kind of love, you know, it wasn't romantic love by was a big, big fan of hers. And as a young man, I really, she was my crush, my celebrity crush, if that makes you know, if that makes sense. So when she passed away, it was awful. And then just seen a documentary is, so there was some suffering there. It's not enough to, you know, it's not major, it's not going to affect my life, the level of suffering that I was experiencing earlier today. But it's still suffering. And that's what life is about, you know, life isn't what it's about, but it's part of life. As the Buddha said, life is suffering. This also pleasure, it's also love, it's also kindness. So laughter, I will go together, you know, the door needs to be open for all of those things. Otherwise, the doors close to pretty much all of those things. We don't have a different door for different emotions, seems they all need to be coming go through the same door. But if you leave that door open, they will come but they will all go as well.
They don't stick around. Because misery has his own home. Because if you there you know, if it doesn't get what it needs from you,
it will go elsewhere. He wants to stick around. The same I suppose happiness presents itself to you. But if you're not noticing it, you don't perhaps want that feeling. Which might seem strange, but have plenty of times in the past, had a feeling of like lightness and happiness and pushed it away because
I didn't want that. I want it to feel miserable. However ridiculous that might sound to some people. But that's how I felt at that time. enough times I embrace it. And it's a choice. What can doesn't always fit doesn't feel like a choice A lot of the time, but it is a choice.
So you know, some people, I try and get across the idea that we choose what we do. For example, if I need to go to the toilet, which I think I might do soon, which again, has got nothing to do with the recording. I seem to like talking about going to the toilet, but I guess I got no choice but to press the pause button and go to the toilet. But that's not true. I don't have to pause. I don't don't have to do anything. I could hold it in not indefinitely, but I could hold it in and I could cause a lot of pain. And eventually it's going to come out the United States life isn't it. Or I could walk into the toilet instead of a tape recorder with me continue talking. Which means you'd have a very echoey and you'd have boy, the back the wind in the background would continue but just a different type. And, or I could I could just go to a toll in my pants. Again,
it's ridiculous, but it's true. I have that choice. That's when I talk about choices. Because we limit ourselves. So I've got no choice. I have to do this.
Now you don't, it's a good idea to do something. Because the alternative might be horrible. You know, it's like not turning up for work, or not phoning in. I mean, that good. I could be the end of that job. But it's still it's still a choice. And I made that decision many times in the past, have lost loads of jobs from just not turning up in my youth, my 20s and stuff, or my teens as well. But there's a choice. There's about I guess, making decent choices for you. Just like writing this letter is a choice. Don't have to do it. But what set to lose? The worst case scenario is you read the letter.
And you read nice things about yourself. That's the worst case scenario. And that doesn't sound too bad, to me. Doesn't sound like a nightmare. sounds almost could almost be enjoyable. That's why I think that funerals should be held before we die.
But one will just we should have that ceremony, call it something different. But have that ceremony. We're all people, family, friends, loved ones, colleagues, whatever. Get together and say nice stuff about us.
I mean, how beautiful that would be to actually realize that that person really does care about you. And how many people care about you. My name used to say one of our sayings was if you don't visit me during if you don't visit me while I'm alive, don't visit me at my funeral.
As was a few divers, me Don't come to my feed. And if you don't visit me when I'm alive. And I said, Okay, we'll come and visit you then.
This is very, like quite to the point where that stuff. Like, I suppose this is kind of the flip side to that.
Why wait? To say two things that are important to say. until it's too late to say I want to say it now. And although we're not focusing on other people, you're focusing on yourself. So why not tell yourself this stuff. I'm guessing you may never have done it. I've never done it. I'm gonna do it. I've kind of done sort of similar things, but not quite as specific, as this often leads to other people that have never sent. There's actually a Buddhist ceremony. Thing is a tradition thing. I don't know if it's all Buddhist schools, but it was the one I went to
where people would actually talk out loud and say something nice about somebody that's in the room with them. So let's say there might be 100 people in that room. Not everybody's gonna know the person like closely. So it might be a mixture of ceremony which basically is when you become a Buddhist, and michos kind of means friend. It become part of Sangha, which is your you know, the collective of Buddhists. I'm not going to bore you with Buddhism, I'm just going to say that when you've got a roomful of people, and maybe 1015 people stand up, or didn't always stand up or to say, Oh, I want to
just say, you know, you're you're really kind and what you know, whatever it could be,
you're very considerate. And you helped a lot with when he helped a lot with my with my kid was going through those problems, and you know, whatever it could be. And then you have another person stand up and say this sort of a different thing. And it's really powerful. So I've seen this done. I suppose this is kind of where, where I'm coming. Because I've seen the responses. And I've felt the responses for myself when other people have done it, so I've been through that ceremony. And there's one particular one where there was this young lady who probably about 22. Some things that were said about her and a dad was there. And hearing her dad, say all these lovely things about, I started crying, I kind of had I held it, I didn't have to hold it in by held in. But I really choked up. And I just wanted it to be my dad. You know, I wanted to be an end to be my dad saying those things. And it's kind of them. And I really realized how powerful that is. Not just for her, but for other people as well. That we're witnessing it. So before, I'd kind of, I don't know if this has ever been done. I know writing letters to yourself has been helpful. There's other ways of doing it like planning and making goals. have never, I don't recall ever seeing the idea of writing a letter to yourself letter of reassurance. But it might have done so I'm not gonna, I'm not going to claim anything's mine. We're just gonna say I don't recall it. But it might. I've done a little bit of research. I haven't seen anything, but it doesn't matter.
And there's other ways of doing letters, but I'm not going to focus on the others just this one specific thing.
And maybe I'll talk about other letter writing exercises that perhaps you can do in the future. But I will say one thing I did. I had a quite a bit of a meltdown. In
1997 a really, really bad meltdown. It was in an evening. Luckily, my friend wasn't there, because I lived with a friend. He was out. And I just lost it completely lost it. didn't know what I was gonna do. I really didn't know kind of where I was going both mentally in that. That time, everything. I lost my job, my girlfriend and everything was still going. And it all seemed to crumble on the evening. So what I did is I wrote letters to three different people. And they weren't nice letters. Not all of them were nice letters. And I was quite hostile I think. And I think the first one
and always less hostile in the second letter and started to be quite nice in the third letter that I wrote. One thing I noticed when I started writing, so I was thinking all these horrible things and I was feeling aggressive. Once I started writing out on paper.
On one level, it felt nice In a sense of an expression, you know, for an expressive perspective, it was release, we definitely was a release. On the other side, it didn't feel so nice because I was imagining the person I was writing a letter to actually read it. I had no intention of sending the letters out. We said, I think I did. I didn't send them out. But I don't think I had any intention of sending them.
And I had this I thought it was a realization, but the idea of them reading, How upsetting it would be for them to read that.
Which would kind of be the opposite of what we're doing here, where you're writing yourself a letter of reassurance, some emotional thing, but it's a different kinds of emotions. So you're not writing to yourself being horrible, or unkind, or cruel. It's the opposite of being kind, you've been gentle, you've been reassuring. And none of it is false. It's all real. Speak from your heart. And another part of me kicked in, were counted for this isn't really me. Because I wouldn't say this. First of all, wouldn't send the letter I wouldn't send such horrible letter never have never will. I can write it or we can send the idea of who's reading it. Or him reading it was actually felt upset with the idea of it. But again, it's kind of a cathartic, those as almost a half hour set, then the same time, that relief, that she won't be reading it. Also realizing that that's not, that's not who I am. Maybe part of who I am, but it's not really who I am. It's the anger, the frustration, the depression, or whatever I was going through at the time. And realizing actually, after writing it down, I didn't feel that way anymore. It released those feelings. And I was really surprised because I didn't expect it to. I didn't go into it didn't do it thinking. All I've read loads of books and and are bad. So this will, this will be good. So I hadn't. I just had the idea of doing it. And I'm sure I probably read it somewhere. You know, it wasn't my ideas. People have been doing this probably for for a long, long time. By just had the idea came into my head and I thought I'll give that a go. And I did it. And it worked. And I have written letters or lists of what I like about myself. I've written lists of gratitude things I'm grateful for. And again, these are all things that we can do. And I'll perhaps talk about some of those in the future. But for this letter of reassurance, this letter of kindness, this letter of love that you can send to yourself
and do what you need to do to get into the perspective where you can actually see yourself who you are. Not how you want to be. not who you think you are, just how you are. How another person will see you experience you the things you know to be true.
The kindness you know to be there. It's about getting in touch with That positive reality. And even though sit is going to be a short, short recording,
still needs to go for half an hour. But it has me full of stamina. Hi, I'm Cesar to say that I'm sitting down in a chair.
So give it a go. And I'm going to do as well, I mean, I've done it in different formats. In the past, I used to write poems. He used to write songs he used to find, try and find different ways to express myself. I used to do vlogs, as well, online on YouTube. So I find expressing myself verbally, is something that I am attracted to, as a process, I find that my, my ideal way to do it. For me, it used to be writing. So I used to keep journals for over 20 years, I used to keep journals. I had hundreds of book pads full of like writing and stuff from the age of 18 to 40, I think, for one. So yeah, it's a quite a lot of that stuff, but don't really do that anymore. It's more verbal, small. Yeah. So I guess it's just changes. It doesn't matter how it is, it doesn't matter if you do it through painting. If you do it through, walk in and just thinking and, or talking with somebody, or talking into a microphone. And never, ever let anybody listen to it. Or look in the mirror and just saying those kinds of things to yourself, reminding you of reality, the truth. The You are a kind person, and you got many, many wonderful qualities,
many, many wonderful qualities. And just get in touch with that feeling. You don't have to do all at once. It could be a gradual process of getting in touch with the reality that you're an amazing person.
doesn't have to happen all at once. can happen all at once. But it's it's like anything is we're always changing. We're always growing. We're always gaining more knowledge about the world about other people about ourselves.
Always learning more. Always learning new ways to cope and to deal with life. New well, ways to accomplish our goals, new ways to feel relaxed and calm. new ways to realize that you're a unique person, a one off, no one else in the world like you.
You're the only person in the whole world of your kind. And you're an amazing person. And you need to start getting in touch with a bit, you know. Yeah, don't expect people to listen to this suddenly start doing handstands and cartwheels and, you know, walking around with a cape and a superhero costume, you know, selling everyone. I'm wonderful. I'm wonderful. And it's not about that. It's about how you feel. It's about how your feelings change towards yourself. It's about feeling more positive toward yourself. It's about by having more kindness aimed at you from you. and welcoming embrace in that kindness. Like it was a sun, light sunbathing in the sun, but instead you're you're bathing in that kindness and that love that's within you all the time. It's almost like it's reflecting off of you. You realize you, you haven't got this, this son of kindness and love shining on you, Sachi just a big mirror up there. It's just reflecting it back to you from you constantly. So, I'm gonna bring this recording to an end. sighs a case I'll just quickly go real quick that I quickly do anything. I just go over again, just write a letter to yourself. It can be an email. It can be something you do on your tablet on your phone. You can send an email to yourself anyway. Konya,
so I do it to myself sometimes. Just it's the process is the process. So reassuring let yourself with the main two goals, reminding yourself of those good qualities that you have those positive qualities that you have. And also reminding yourself that things are going to be okay. reminding yourself to things will be okay. So that's the end of this recording. Thank you very much for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love for me in the wind outside bye

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