#85 Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety & Panic Attacks - "SELF WORTH" - (Jason Newland) (31st January 2020)

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Hello, welcome to Jason newland.com. My name is Jason Newland, and this is relaxation, hypnosis for stress, anxiety and panic attacks. Please only listen when you can safely Close your eyes. Please subscribe to this podcast. That way, you'll be notified when a new one arrives, which at the moment is pretty much every day. Also, if you'd like to leave a review, please go to my website, you can leave a video review if you if you're feeling brave, to let me know how you feel and if this podcast is being useful. And also if you'd like to help support this free service, help towards running costs. Then please go to paypal.me forward slash Jason Newland, or go to the website and is a gift me page on their link. So his countless things of all of goes got I did is about what I'm going to talk about, I've got a few ideas, not always kind of just got one thing that I want to discuss or talk about less is going to be an actual exercise. But this isn't going to be an exercise this is going to be me say wobbling on but waffling on at night, just me talking. And I'm not quite sure how to approach this. But the main thing, the main point that I want to get across is for you to, to actually I guess self esteem is called self esteem. That's what the normal kind of term would be to get in touch. And to build up your own self esteem.
I probably use the word self worth. Personally, that seems more like an I see is more of an apt word. But they're both obviously important as pretty much the same thing.
The self worth let's let's focus on self worth. And you may think, what's that? What's that got to do with a price of cheese? You know, what's that got to do with stress and anxiety? It might have nothing to do with your situation. It might have everything to do with your situation. It might mildly have, you know, something to do. Because let's face it, some people are going through us extremely stressful and anxiety and anxious time because their partner is ill or their child is ill seriously ill or, you know, parent, brother, sister, best friend. So anxiety and stress doesn't, you know, it's not confined to just something that's happening to us, because someone else being ill is not happening to us. Well, that feels like, but it's not. It's happening to them. But we're being affected by it because we love that person. So this is not aimed. So the in this situation might be someone might have great self esteem, self belief, self worth, but actually it's more stress reduction, coping skills that are required. So maybe this recorded might not be useful, I don't know to everybody, but not every recording is going to be as powerful those are. But I like the idea that everything has it worth everything has. You know, I can read a book and there might be just one sentence in the entire book. Look, that resonates with me, and actually changes the way I think. And it keeps repeating. You know, it's it's like, like a spicy curry, you know, repeating on your slide, I keep tasting it, I eat like six hours ago and still tasted it. And it could be like that, you know, you hear a sentence. You know, for example, someone said to me, the idea that actually
being told I've helped other people. And I may never be aware of it. I help people that don't know have helped. really resonated with someone like you know, recently. sosus sometimes just a little, little idea, or big idea, depending on how effective it is to the individual person.
But coming back to self worth, self worth, what is self worth? Break it down? It's, is it feeling worthy? worthy? Why do we need to feel worthy? Or is it feeling that you're worth something? And personally, we are priceless. You can't put a value on a human being, we can't really put a value on any, any life. We were you know, so we are, say worthless, then we are priceless. So the word worth isn't really, in a sense, from a positive perspective is not valid. But from the negative perspective of how people might feel. Because a lot of people will feel worthless, then, you know, it's kind of looking at it from that angle. Instead of feeling priceless, they feel worthless, when we are all priceless. We cannot be replaced. Nobody can be replaced. We all have our own unique view of the world, our stance, our opinions, our faults, the way we look, the way we walk, the way we the way we taste food may be different to other people, sense of humor, all kinds of different things. And a lot of that stuff is hidden. Because there's a big, there's pressure to conform. You know, if like, if you see someone from let's say, a part of this country, I'm not going to say which part because it could be any part. But you find some format, a specific part of the country. And they go to another part of the country. And they will act the stereotypical, be stereotypical to what everyone thinks that they're those people, those people act like when it's not real. Because they're just human beings. And they take on behaviors from other people. And we all do, that's how we learn the inside doing individual. Some people don't come across as being very individual, because maybe they're not, they don't feel confident enough within themselves. However, my friend said to me, I'm unique. I'm a unique individual, just like all my friends. So it's kind of that pressure to conform. I kind of don't feel that pressure. But it's definitely gets easier with age. Because it doesn't matter anymore. But there is that pressure. I mean, I think when you're younger. Yes, when I was maybe my 20s I still didn't conform, but I definitely noticed the pressure to do so. To wear the certain kind of clothes and to have a certain kind of haircut and to even, you know, to date certain types of people. So to keep in your own lane, into your own little group. And because I've never had groups I didn't kind of conform to that. And it throws people off. So do you get your self worth from other people, that's kind of where I'm coming from for this. Because that's where we originally get it from. Our self esteem comes from others, our self worth comes from others. Initially, you think of a little baby, he's just done a done a poo on his potty. But because the whole family is clapping, and making such a big deal about it, because he's done on the pot, instead of on the table, the dinner table, everyone's happy as I walk down molten water, no, JJ, we're done Andre. And that little deload toddler, little baby little child thinks this means that I'm worth something.
It's not going to think cognitively logically that way. But emotionally, that's going to be the connection, the I'm worth something.
And in the same way, when a child misbehaves, and they get told off or smacked or worse, or ostracized by their peers at school, or college, or teachers or friends, because they don't, you know, act in the way that everyone expects them to. Then they're basing their self worth and self esteem, again, on the outside from other people. And we've all done it. We were brought up to do it. It's how we were raised. And maybe not everyone's raised like that, but I'm just I'm generalizing. I have to generalize in these situations. And some people keep that guy for the whole life until they stop and realize that actually, other people's opinions are not important. We're not as important as perhaps they used to think they were. See, I don't care what my dad thinks about me. Really, I do buy down. But at the same time, you know, I've got show respect is an elderly man. He's my dad. So I try and show a little bit of respect. I'm laughing because I'm not so I always pull it off for a while, but I conform when I'm with him. To a degree by don't conform to his lifestyle, or to his thinking, when I'm not with him. Because then that would be my self worth. It wouldn't be my self esteem, would it be his service? Here's a stain put onto me. Or his values put on to me, not my own values. Yet we share values. He's very against stealing. And I love to still not as nice wrong. No, he's against stealing. I am as well. You know, I don't steal I'm not a thief. It's just one of those things. That is, I don't even feel that is because I've been taught it although probably is rougher. But I can make my own mind up. And I can look at it and think no, taking someone else's property or belongings is actually pretty much a disgusting thing to do outside in an emergency. But put me in a situation where I've got no food. I will go into the supermarket and I will still sandwiches or food or no problem with that. So as a diffuse is, that's about self worth, or self preservation. Because actually the person that goes and you know, forces themselves to still suffer from a supermarket because it's they're all starving. Then their self esteem is kind of a bit more healthy than if they didn't do it. If they just lie down and didn't do anything to help themselves. Then that's a sign this self worth you is very, very low. And, but then it's also signed, they need help. So that's another thing. I think in those situations when people get vulnerable, when we were at our lowest when we really need help, the software seems to hide is at the nose almost feels a little bit like a regression. When I first when I was having the panic attacks, the anxiety back in 2003, it was really a whole pretty much, two years of it really. And I had, I think I had a couple of weeks off work. And I went down to the, to the reception because there was a reception of the building that I lived in. And I said, a comment what I said something about, or made a flippant comment about are probably going to go and talk myself. Something like that. But I was I was down I thought I was depressed and everything. But I didn't really mean it. But I've said it as a like
I suppose in my way, maybe a joke, I don't know. wasn't very funny joke, but I said it. And then 10 minutes later is knock on my daughter and the counselor, they actually because it was a charity that ran this building. And they had a homeless section to that. I wasn't in that part. But they had to. So they had a counselor that dealt with homeless people. And always they got their money from the flats that they rented. That's how they financed it. Anyway, it is not going to dawn is a lady there saying yeah, I'm counselor. Can I come in? She sat down. And she saw the sort of so we just want to check that you okay. Because I was gone quite well with the people that worked at reception. silo to him. And you know, they Yeah, they kind of knew me a little bit.
And I just
said, No, I'm not. And she she gave me a few, a few counseling sessions. And I almost felt like had regressed. And I didn't realize that my self worth was pretty much zero. and self respect, I've not had any. But so my self worth was just, I'd almost given up. Because I couldn't see a way I didn't see, couldn't figure out how this was going to end how I was going to be able to move forward from the anxiety because it's overtaking my life.
So my I kind of coming back to the self worth bit, we need to hold on to that. All of us. We need to nourish it. And sometimes it hides. It hasn't gone away. It hasn't disappeared. It's just hiding.
It's about finding it again. And I think that's what happens with depression, love, happiness, joy, motivation, positivity, all those things. And the feel like the disappeared.
Like the dead dead, a lot of died. They haven't, they've just the hiding. You think of it like they're hiding. Because they don't like the environment. They don't want to be in that environment of extreme negativity. It's very hard to live in that environment to be around. If you know anyone that's just generally really negative and I have known people. And like every third word or sentence that comes out their mouth is negative.
I can't say I always enjoyed being with them is not an enjoyable experience. I don't mind if it's humorous. But if he's like always constantly
everything's negative, even if they're, they're not depressed. So just Negative people, it's hard for happiness or positivity, or any kind of motivation to live in that environment. So it doesn't die, it doesn't disappear. It hides, doesn't run away hides. And it waits for when it's safe to come back.
It's almost like, you know, a child with both the parents arguing, the child might hide. Because, let's say children, have any children like having their parents arguing, even if it's just a verbal exchange, which isn't too serious, still unpleasant for the child. And the child will possibly hide maybe under the bed, or maybe just in the bedroom until the atmosphere is cleared. And then it's kind of emotionally safe to go back. So that's what happens, I think, maybe, maybe that's what happens with our self worth. It hides because the environment I mean, we're, we are the parent of our self worth, we are the parent of our positivity, we are the parent of our motivation is our responsibility. individually. They're our children. And it might seem weird, a weird concept. But if you think about it like that, then you get an idea of how precious they are.
And these aren't just children that you've had, for maybe 10 years, we've had these children our whole life. They've been inside us our whole life. Admittedly, when we're first born, they're not really developed. And maybe they're still not, maybe they're never fully developed. Because we're always changing only. But we're the parent, you are the parent of your own happiness, of your own motivation. You're the parent of your own self worth. You're the parent of your own self esteem. You're the parent of your own kindness, your parent of your own love, that you can feel for yourself and others, you're the parent. And it's not like, you get to the point, you know, the kids, a teenager, and you stop, you stop trying to help because you're teenagers being a pain and then teenager becomes older, and you just let them go on with their life. Because you kind of have to, you have to take a step back at some point. In this situation, we never have to take a step back. Because we're always the parent, because they are always our children. They're always dependent upon us. Because if we don't take responsibility for them, then they take it from outside self esteem, or take it from what other people do, what other people say how other people act. However, people treat us instead of us actually listening to ourselves and be motivated by what we want to be motivated by. And to enjoy things that we enjoy. Don't being blown around in the wind, like an old plastic bag
that has no direction. Because we're not that I'm not got nothing against plastic bags. So we're our own parent of those emotions, those feelings. We're responsible for our own self worth. To get in touch with those feelings. I want to say we're responsible. I don't mean we're to blame.
Mouth got no time for blame? No. no time at all for blame. No time for guilt. Just get rid of those two words, expelled them from the dictionary. They're not useful. blaming yourself or blaming others, it never leads to any degree of happiness. Blame only leads to what doesn't lead anywhere, does it? nukus arguable what someone does something is not i'm not to blame myself, who do I blame? If they did it, they're responsible, they're responsible. It's a different word. If you're in a car and you drive into someone's garden, then you're responsible for that. You're not to blame for that you're responsible for it's a different thing. It's a different emotion, in fact, doesn't really have any emotion. It just means you take responsibility, and you do what's needed to be done to rectify the situation. And hopefully, we don't always but hopefully we'll learn from it.
So blaming is of no use, and guilt. Come on. Guilt was a people that will never move on. We need to, we need to move on. something bad happens when we do something that hurts another person or hurts ourself, it's really horrible. course we're going to feel crappy. It's natural. That's the natural way of things. We're gonna feel awful. For some time. We can't let it ruin your life, you can't let it be the controlling factor to your future. And Gil? No, because people that feel guilty, really want other people to feel guilty as well. It's like a disease, like an infection of virus. If that people that feel guilt, and welcome guilt, they demand other people to feel guilty. So I'd say don't get involved in that at all. let other people do what they want to do. So wants to feel guilty landfill GUI, know your problem. They're just hurting themselves. And they may say yeah, but it stops me from doing what I did before. Well, I suppose if you're a little child, or you're, you know, you need to be trained like a puppy to control you. But if you're an adult, with a brain, with the ability to think which you are and you have, then you don't need guilt. Just need to memory you just needs to know. You're not going to forget what happened. We don't have to think about all the time. We're very lucky. We've got these brains to remember stuff. So we don't have to think about it. Can you imagine if every night before we went to bed, we had to write down every single thing that we ever thought about and everything that's ever happened in our life, so that we can remember it when we wake up. Well, no, we don't have to do that. Because even though you go to sleep, your mind slows down to practically nothing. whilst you're going to sleep. I noticed a lot of stimulation at times during sleep. But you wake up and all that stuff is still available. So it's not something we have to keep pondering on. It's available when you need don't need huge emotion. negative emotion attached. So what is your self worth? Like? Now? That's the question, what is your self worth? What would you say is between zero and 10? Zero being absolutely happy? Like zero, you know, you feel I don't I don't put words into your mouth. But if I was zero self worth, I guess I probably wouldn't care about myself at all. I probably, I have been zero self worth in the past. But it's, it's quite difficult to get into that zone. I probably wouldn't care about my health, I wouldn't care about my appearance. Although not too bothered about my parents these days. I wouldn't, I wouldn't feel I feel that no one else cared, I'd probably feel that I wasn't worthy. So if I got ill, I wasn't worthy enough. I didn't deserve to have medical attention. Maybe I wouldn't go for a job interview because I didn't feel that I deserved to have that job. Perhaps I would end a relationship with someone that I cared about because I didn't feel worthy.
Didn't feel that I was worth anything. And that they deserve to be with someone better than me. Just basically been almost zombie, I suppose. How zombie, like the living dead.
At its most extreme. To have zero self worth is, I don't know, watch get the image of someone that literally
would see a lion run in the mumble nimbala trying to get away. I just like no, no kind of interest in our own safety. Which is terrible, terrible place to be. Or some have no motivation that really believes the bullshit that's gone on their mind, telling them that nothing's ever going to change and everyone's going to be crap forever and their mother and actually believe it. When we all know that that is not true. We don't always know it's not true. Obviously. There's times when it feels true. But we talk about self worth here, we're not talking about depression. But because self worth is something that or lack of self worth, is something that probably lasts for years. It's not like I don't think it's something that would necessarily change dramatically for most people. Maybe some bipolar, which I have it can, I guess it can go to extremes at times. And I suppose as some people would depend on a situation it can drop and rise by ultimately is going to even out it's going to even out a point where it doesn't really ever go beyond doesn't go above or below that point. But it can be improved upon or it can be reduced. I mean, there's lots of things you could do to make yourself feel worse. If you so wanted to why would you want to but that's another fear I quite like the idea of if you get in touch with what you could do to make yourself feel really crappy. Then you now know what you could do to make yourself feel really good because it's the opposite and also proves to you know that actually do have control over how you feel because some people so I've got no control over I feel is just how I feel. I can't control it.
Do you like Marmite? No well eat that my my Mr. Go eat and not eat. They're choosing to eat even if I said he they don't have to. So they're eating it. They're feeling horrible might be gagging because they think is so disgusting. What could be more might be bad. Could be anything could be banana could be anything that they really don't like Ian
And then you could say, well, actually, you feel worse now than you did before, don't you? And I say, yeah.
When he was a in that mind, like you felt way crappier than you did before you started doing that Marmite? Yeah, let's So the truth is, there's no way of denying that. So therefore you do have control over how you feel, because you just made yourself feel worse. So if you can make suffer worse, you can make you feel so feel happier, or more relaxed. And it gives back the freedom it gives back the control gives back the reality that actually, we can have a degree of control about how we feel. I want to say control, I'm not talking about control in the conventional way of, I'm going to make sure that I feel you know, this relax at this time and always be monitoring yourself. Because that would be I don't think it'd be much fun at all, that would be for me, that would be stressful. But always monitoring. I've done that in the past monitored, how I felt, what emotions I was feeling carried around a diary. Every hour, I'd write down sort of what level of stress I was at. It can be useful to sort of get an idea of where you are, but
maybe not always, sometimes. But once you realize you can change. It's an old Milton Erickson did a thing where this lady came in. he's a he's a psychotherapist and hypnotist from the sort of 50s and 60s 70s. And he was very famous lady came to and said she was overweight lady. She said, I can't change my weight. I can't change it. Nothing I can do can by weight stays this way. I can't change her. Because she wanted to reduce weight. And he said, Are you sure? She said Yeah. He said you want to reduce? I said, I can't change it. I can't have no way I can't change the weight. So we said Why is your home work? Go home? And your wader and she was like 5000 pounds or whatever? And she said, he said, Come back when you put on 14 pounds? She said, What is it? Yeah, come back when you put on 14 pounds. And I want you to do in the next two weeks. And she did she came back he wader she was 14 pounds exactly overweight above the way she was. And he said, Let's prove it then doesn't that prove that you were wrong? And they actually can. She said what means that you can change your way? And she said yeah, but I feel horrible. And I want to be heavy, I want to be lighter. This is this makes me feel ill I don't like being heavier. And she said one more now you know, you can control your weight. You can reduce it if you want. It's up to you, but you you've proven to yourself that you can control your weight. I keep that analogy in my head for various different situations. Just to remember that actually. We do have the ability to make changes. Even though we may be using limiting language, like I can't, there's no way I can do it. It's impossible. Maybe I know. And that's another good thing if you can start doing it in your head when you start saying negative things. Go ninya you know a lot of kids put their fingers in their ears and go man man Mmm, to try and block out the the sound of maybe their friend saying something they don't want to hear. Perhaps start doing it to ourselves. And we start hearing your stuff saying negative things to ourselves
because ultimately when it comes to self esteem, or self worth? It brings me back to something I said years and years ago, sell it to clients in the past is
our self worth is affected by our internal dialogue hugely affected. And what we say to ourselves affects how we think and how we feel.
It affects how we feel, how could it not. And what we say to ourselves is more powerful than what anybody else could say to us. As more effect, if you were saying this to yourself what I'm saying, it has way more effect than me say that. And in some ways, issue, sign it because you're listening to an audio, rather than me being in front of you. So it's kind of separated me from it. And it's just become part of you. In a sense, those parts that you find useful, that is those parts that you invite into yourself. And you got this internal dialogue, telling yourself stuff that you might not even be aware of. It might be something as, yeah, I'm not good enough. For years and years, I've been telling myself, I used to tell myself that I was stupid, and I stick. That's what I used to tell myself, because that's what I was told. And I internalized it. And I used to think it, I really used to believe. Eventually, I learned that that wasn't the case. But it took many, many, many years. And I'm still not there. I'm still not there. Still not where you know, I could be as far as feeling confident within myself and my own ability to maybe do certain things with academic or intellectual intellectually, possibly. So you've got these things that you're thinking about. And you might not even be aware of it. And that's when it causes the most damage. Because you stopped taking notice of it. Yet, it's still going on making those beliefs stronger. Those limiting beliefs do have no good and they're outdated. And harmful, they get stronger. If you ignore, don't notice what you're saying to yourself, inside your mind. You might even say out loud, how often have you heard someone say well I'm crap at that I'm useless at that. I'm use vashi that will verbalize externally what their internally their internal kind of thought patterns are. How many times have you noticed yourself doing it? I've done that loads of times in the past or said something and maybe you've not noticed it, but maybe you will now. So did I really just say that out loud? I just called myself stupid. Or an idiot. Or useless I just said that out loud. thought wow, sometimes it comes with a little bit of a shock. I don't do I really think that about myself. So my analogy is basically if you will, first of all it's bullying. Basically bullying yourself and I'm guessing pretty much everyone listen to this finds bullion disgusting. This is a disgusting thing. And I'm not even taking a moral judgment. I'm just saying factually, it's just disgusting to bully. You know something that maybe kids will do and they don't realize what they're doing or whatever but to bully yourself is a different level and unacceptable. Which I'll show you agree. Because maybe you're not thought of it that way. Not for of it as in. I've been bullying myself, telling myself that I'm stupid though. Not worth anything, that or not worth enough that I don't deserve to be with my partner, or that I don't deserve to be loved or whatever, horrible things, negative lies that we sell whether we tell ourselves although live is probably a strong word, because it's time, we probably do believe it. But it's not true. So whatever the middle ground is between lies and
being true, because that's not true when we say that stuff to ourselves. So maybe we are lying to ourselves. There's definitely bullying going on there. And that's unacceptable. And then remember, go back to the fact that you're the parent of those parts of yourself. self worth, the love, self love, kindness, positivity, motivation, those things that hide sometimes, because they feel they're being bullied, that bullied away by the big bully, that's being negative. Because negativity is powerful stuff. I mean, you know, I've met nice people, and I've met people that are really perhaps not so nice. But you know, in a fight, in a really dangerous situation, I felt rather have the really mean person with me to defend me, because they probably physically be able to do it, and they'd be able to mentally do it. The nicest person in the world may not be able to do anything. But they're lovely to be around. But they keep away from that stuff. They don't want anything to do with negativity, or hostility. So they hide, which is kind of a natural thing to do, really. So as a parent, you're the parent of those, those parts of you, they rely on you, you're their parent,
you always will be, you're responsible for them. You can ignore them if you want. You don't have to do anything, of course, but you are responsible.
So if you allow them to nurture and you give them time to nurture, and you give them time to be there and give them space, get rid of that negative stuff, then they're allowed, they're allowed to grow and to blossom. And just, you think about it in a sense of a garden. If you let if you let the weeds the weeds will destroy everything that they can get rid of the weeds and the garden changes, the different environment is flowers and the plants is you know, it's different, totally different. Sometimes you need to get rid of the weeds. If you look in it, I like to go to the extremes sometimes. If you look at it from an extreme perspective, from a real, quite horrible perspective, really, in the sense of if you had somebody following you around, saying to you the things that you say to yourself, would you be able to put up with it? And some people might say, well, I had that in the past. So I'm not talking about as a child or you know, as an adult. I'm hoping that no one has to put up with that. And if you are doing going through that stuff, seek help. Genuinely seek help right now. Straight away and put an end make sure that stops and make sure that you're safe. So if you've got someone walking around following you saying all the things you say to yourself in your mind, putting yourself down, telling yourself you're not good enough then and all that stuff. You're not the very least you're not gonna want to be around them. I mean, not You'd want to hide from the winner. When you want to hide from that person, they'd knock on your door in the morning, you would answer the door which I phone you up, you see, then the name on the phone. Thank you very much. you'd keep away from them. So why do we allow it? in our heads? Why do we allow ourselves to do it to ourselves?
And also, I go from one other angle as well. I'll just say one, one sentence, really? I've done recordings on this in the past. Think about what you say to yourself. My question is this, would you say that to a small child? So whatever you just said to yourself, whether it's or not good enough, or not worthy? I don't deserve to be happy. All those kinds of stuff that's wrong. That now makes no sense. Really? Would you say that to a small child? Someone that you care for, like your own child? Or your niece or nephew, your grandchild? Even even a child, you don't even know would you walk up to a child in the street? And pulvinar? Fatty, you gain trouble, especially if the parents were there. And I heard you say, but if you were to go to a child say those things you say to yourself, would you say that to a small child? Now, I'm guessing the answer would be 100%. No. If it's Yes, Then again, maybe seek some professional help and work through that. By so most people say no to that. You wouldn't be abusive, verbally. Do you watch yourself or have been the past we used to be before he decided to change knave, this end? You've got this. That situation? It's like no, you wouldn't? I wouldn't, you wouldn't? course you wouldn't. It's actually it's almost insulting to be asked that, isn't it? Of course, I wouldn't do that as that's a disgusting thing. wouldn't hurt a small child? So if it's not good enough for the child, was it good enough for you? That that type of language, that type of put downs, negativity, if it's not okay, for a small child was okay for you?
Why is it Why? I mean, that's that child that you never maybe you've never seen before you go up to them, you might get in trouble. But ultimately, you're not gonna have to see them again. not part of their life. But you still wouldn't, would you? Even if you knew you'd never have to see the person again. You wouldn't do it because you know that it'd be really, really upsetting to the child. Yet, okay, for us to do it to ourselves. Constantly, day in day out?
No, how can it be? No. So that would be probably what I would ask you to do.
Next time you say something to yourself, or maybe you say it out loud. You know, maybe bash your toe on it on a chair and you say I'm such a clumsy so and so. And and actually, wait a minute. Would you say that to small child who just hurt themselves? Something that you really cared about? Would you call them in India for tripping over? Would you call them weak for not being able to
deal with something? No, you wouldn't would you? Because that grandchild that child? You know, whoever that that little boy or girl is
You wouldn't want to hurt them, you wouldn't want to upset them. So my question really is, from now on, just just, it's going to stick in your mind. But anyway, but if from now on just the next couple of days, find yourself no issue yourself, when you be negative towards yourself. And this can have a big effect on stress levels. Because it's hard enough to go through a difficult time, whether it's ill health, whatever, but to be blaming yourself and having a go at yourself, for being ill, which a lot of people will do is, it's definitely not going to make it better. So the next time or however many times it happens, over the next few days, I just recommend that you stop yourself, notice it when you notice it stop and say, okay, that sentence, would I say that to a small child?
And if the answer is no, let it go. If the answer is no, let it go. Live thoughts evaporate? Let that for be disintegrated, is not welcome. Just in the same way, as you know, if you've got you got small child, and a neighbor or someone from school comes around, and that kid starts getting really rough with your child.
That's gonna be the end of the Law Day, isn't it? playdates over? Go away? We're going to call the parents or wait till the parents get here and say, Okay, see ya. Probably not gonna want that child back in your home again, if that child was hurting your child, and probably tell that maybe tell the parents what happened, maybe
I don't know. But some things are not acceptable other. And something shouldn't be acceptable to any of us. But we're the only ones that can make that decision.
So I'm going to ask you, the next time, you have a thought in your mind, where you're putting yourself down. We're saying something horrible to yourself, calling yourself nines, saying I'm useless on there's no point in me doing this on
whatever it might be. Just ask yourself, would I say that to a small child? If the answer is no, why, why say it's yourself
then. on using porn as a small child, why would a small child be more important than you? Why would you deserve to be having that verbal abuse but a small child doesn't? The answer is neither of you do. Neither of you deserve it. So that's it. So I'm going to, maybe I should just call this recording, would you say that to a small child.
And all self worth I don't know. But that's just just go with that and maybe let me know how you get on. So thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself.
And notice how your stress levels have reduced since you've been listening to me. So that's Take care. And I'll speak to you next time. Probably tomorrow. Lots enough. Bye.

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