#81 Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety & Panic Attacks - "MEANING PURPOSE" - (Jason Newland) (27th January 2020)

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Hello, welcome to Jason newland.com. My name is Jason Newland, this is relaxation, hypnosis for stress, anxiety and panic attacks. Please only listen when you can safely Close your eyes. And although this recording isn't necessarily to help people to sleep, it's just good to make sure that you are safe to close your eyes in case you do fall asleep. Because I've got a very boring voice. And also, I do a lot of sleep recordings. I've got podcasts for deep sleep whisper hypnosis, let me bore you to sleep, sleep hypnosis weekly.
So probably 80% of what I do is sleepy stuff. So I think my voice is kind of perhaps suited to that.
However, I also do this also do chronic pain relief, and other like self development, self help recordings as well. And some stop smoking ones. They've got lots of different things. Now before I start, I'd like to give a big shout out to two people, I think I would just say, yeah, two people. Firstly, Vicki, who sent me an email, and it's on a review page on my website. Hi, Jason. I'll be listening to your Spotify listened. Once read it wrong. Hi, Jason. I've been listening to you on Spotify. Since I had a stroke in July 2019, age 34, which has left me partially sighted with severe anxiety, and depression. And I find your podcasts really helpful. So thank you, Vicki. And I've got left a video review from Boston Chickie. Which you can also view on my review page of my website saying thank you and she listens to these podcasts. And she's been listening from the start actually, from the not only from the start of when I very first started making this podcast back in. I think it was the beginning of 2017 might have even been 2016. But I think it was 2017 where I did 34 recordings. I think I did them every day for 34 days. And then I stopped and then I pick them up again last year. And now I've got this is the 81st recording. So I just like to say thank you to Boston cheeky. She mentioned some stuff on there about getting in touch with you know, remembering that you've helped people. And also, she reminded me that I've also helped people, which is nice to hear as well. So thank you for that. What I'd like to talk about and also leave a review if you like why do it rhymes. And Andre just appeared. He likes to do that when it started recording he likes doesn't like to be left out. like to talk about purpose. Purpose. Watch the video earlier. It was about procrastination. And it was Russell Brand. And he was saying talking about procrastination can be caused or is caused by not having a purpose. Or being lazy can be caused by not having a purpose. And it didn't sit too well with me if I'm honest. I think if you're not ever doing anything, then that's probably caused by depression. And it could definitely you know be caused by not having a purpose. Not being in touch with that purpose, or not one importantly not remembering what the purpose is.
Because that can be something that may be necessary is not just to have a purpose, but to remember it
every day, to have it with you wherever you go. Almost like a mole on your chin, you know, you take it everywhere you go, or your favorite hair, or your glasses, if you need glasses, make sure you take that purpose with you. And this isn't, this isn't even a suggestion. This is a must. This is a definite necessity, that all of us keep in mind and keep hold of that purpose do we have in life, the reason the big thing that we get out for and I know some people, they lose track of that purpose, sometimes they feel that they don't have a purpose at all. Or maybe the purpose they used to have is come to an end for whatever reason. So for someone may be the whole purpose of their existence may have been connected to raising a family. And maybe now the families left they're gone or gone to college or now they're married and or maybe they've you know, the relationship split up their purpose may have been might have been to support their partner, whatever purpose may have been connected to their job. But now the jobs gone for whatever reason, or they've retired. So there's so many ways to purpose can change or possibly dissolve, because it's no longer relevant. So in that situation, and I have dealt with people in the past clients in counseling, when I was a counselor who didn't feel that they had any purpose. And that's one of the worrying things with things like suicide. I don't think I'm it's I'm generalizing here. But I very much doubt that anyone would kill themselves if they felt that they had a really important purpose in their life with the Father there, felt that their life was purposeful. Because how bad things got that stick around as long as they could, even through ill health. Again, that is a generalization. Because each individual situation is different. The amount of people I've heard in the past tell me there's no point to anything. There's no reason for them to be here. Which means I have no purpose, that I feel that there's a purpose to their life, or that there's a purpose to them. Or that they're important or that they mean anything or their life has any meaning. Which is the main thing is it the word meaning. Purpose sometimes feels a bit like something you do, like I purposely do this thing meaning is it's deeper, it feels almost deeper. There's something to actually have meaning true meaning to you. So that's another must we must have meaning in our lives. We have to there's no option other than to have that we need to have that is just as important as eating, breathing. Drinking water you know those things we have to do. Some people might say I will never drink water was being squash and milk and juice. I don't care just you have to drink something done. You have to have meaning and purpose and I class those two is the same but purpose and meaning, I'm going to use that as the same word,
meaning the same thing. So these are things that we have to have. And it's not me telling you have to have it is me just pointing out that we all have to have it in order to survive in order to live a life, which, well maybe also to make sense of things that or at least accept things that don't make sense, but accept that that's part of being human. You know, kind of moving onwards, moving forwards? Because that's all we can ever do. We can't go backwards. It's impossible. I read something earlier. Let's see Andre run around in a plastic bag. Yes, good, good boy. While I'm making it recording, I read something earlier, which said, Today is the tomorrow that you were worrying about yesterday. Today is the tomorrow that you were worrying about yesterday. And worried about today, yesterday, which would be your tomorrow hasn't helped today at all. being concerned about it, making arrangements and necessary changes necessary can be useful.
But what
isn't? useful. Going back to this, this slight idea of procast Cresta nation, if I can say the word, the idea that procrastination means that someone's got no purpose or meaning to their life, I think is actually wrong. What horrible thing to say really. It just means that in that moment. And that moment, may last a few weeks or a few months even. But in that moment of their life. They're not maybe in touch with the meaning of their life.
So the question could be, how do you get in touch with the meaning of your life.
And I would suggest maybe having more than one meaning. Instead of putting all your meaning into just one thing.
Someone says, Oh, my purpose in life is to be a parent, my meaning is to be a parent. That will give mum that's what gives my life meaning. Brilliant, but it needs to be more than that for you. Because your children are never going to appreciate what you've done. It's never gonna happen. They're not going to know what you've done, where you sacrificed to bring the children into the world and to raise them. Just like we are never going to adults, who are adults now never really going to appreciate what our parents maybe did those ahead, you know, nice parents. So what meaning Can you give to your life That's for you, just for you, you alone, it's not connected to anybody else. And it's not about giving up the meaning that you already have the you know, the motivation that you already have to get out of bed.
Because you know if you're if your motivation to go into work is because you want to make sure that your teenage daughter or son has enough money to go to college. When they're, you know, in a couple of years time You've got a you sit in their breakfast and your teenage child is being attacked also, which teenagers do have a tendency to be, it's part of this space to be like that. Being a real, not very communicative. And you're driving to work thinking, or supporting me doing this work and all these hours where then he or she doesn't even respect what I do, doesn't appreciate what I do. That's in putting that meaning of your life. categorizing and putting in someone else's, or someone else's shoulders, almost blaming someone else for your choices. See, you need to be able to have that, you know, began to work for yourself as well. Unless maybe some people think that's selfish, or we shouldn't be thinking of ourselves, we should only think of our daughter, we should only think of our parents, we should only think of the mortgage forgot to pay or I should only bad, your whatever. Is that realistic, though? Is it healthy. Because ultimately, you're going to be with yourself, you have been with yourself, and you will be with yourself every second of every, every second of your life, you have been with you. And you're the only person has done that. No one else has been with you the whole of your life. You have no one else knows what you think except you. You're the only one that knows the thoughts in your mind. You're the only one who really knows what you like, what you want. And what you would like to do. I mean, deep down, I mean, you may share a lot of this stuff with friends family, but you're the only one that really knows you in that way. You know, it's it's not about all that we're being false, so other people can't get to notice. It's not that it's just, there's a level isn't there. There's level that we know ourselves that other people won't know. There's times when perhaps we feel crappy. But we tell the person we're with that we feel fine. Because we want them to have a good time. And we know they're going through a difficult time in one. We want them to feel good. Or someone buys you a present that you don't particularly like and you say is lovely. Thank you. Thank you for that. Thank you for that hair doesn't fit on my head. A big woolly hair asked me to go really great with a suit for work. Thank you. Lovely. You know, it could be my name used to give me socks for Christmas when I was younger. As she said actually she used to she used to knit these jumpers were couldn't actually get my head through. They were actually that the neck width was actually the size of my neck. It was the width of my neck. Or once I got it over my head not realizing I wasn't gonna be able to get it off. I had to cut the thing off. or wear it for the rest of the year. Hoping I didn't grow. So but I never said anything. I would never say older or is this rubbish? One at Nan. What is this crap? Take it back. I want to bike give me a bicycle. course I wouldn't say that. By might think it. And that's what's really happening is what you're really thinking doesn't mean you're going to say it doesn't mean it's necessarily true Eva, might just be anger by wish. Wish that person would run away wish that person would do this. Be more not really wish it you just daydreaming or just, you know, thinking these things in anger. Or you might think oh, he's nice. We see so much, much nicer than my husband. But it might be a fantasy doesn't mean you're gonna leave your husband or anything.
But if you said it out loud to your husband, it could cause problems. Possibly. So we're the only ones that know What's going on their mind What's going on? I'm not gonna use Word soul, but what's gonna have going on in our hearts, what's going on our body, how we physically feel how we emotionally feel, we're the only ones that know that. And we can share it, sometimes, maybe we can share it a lot, you might have a relationship where you do share an awful lot of how you're feeling. But you can never share all of it. Because that would be a 24 hour conversation, that would never end it'll be just constant. Which brings back it turns it around with the anxiety part. If someone was telling you all their thoughts, and verbalizing it to you, you would have to leave them, you would not be able to stay around them. Because it would be too much. If someone told you that, how much you care for them, if they blow it out every single thing that they thought, I'll talk about every single thought 1000s of 1000s and 1000s of thoughts every day, I don't know how many there are. It would be overwhelming, it would be too much. It would be it just be awful. Flip that on its side, when it's back on its tummy, tickle its tummy. And you get it back in. So well actually, that is going on inside your head. But they're your own thoughts. So we're being bombarded 24 hours a day, I say 24 hours of sleep for maybe eight hours of those as it may be. So let's say 16 hours a day, you've got these thoughts. Now, if that was another person, you would have to get away from them, you'd need a break. Which means I think we possibly need a break from ourselves. We need to take a break from that thinking. And that's where these recordings come in. That's where meditation comes in relaxation techniques, being able to just sit and let those thoughts just float away. Maybe having a long bath, maybe eating a meal, something that you really enjoy, but you focus in on the food and the taste of the food or maybe getting engrossed in a in a movie for an hour and a half or two hours. Where you're not thinking
so going back to the that part that you need to look after yourself. To have that meaning to some more than other people. Now I believe helping other people helps you. I do I think helping other people is the best thing in the world. It's not necessarily the most important thing. No, I do. I do recognize that in a sense of, I can help as many people as I can. I could have the I could have millions of people every day listening to me. But that's not going to get me out you know, it's not going to help me. It's not gonna cook my dinner. It's not gonna, it's not gonna get me out of bed. I have to do that myself. It's not going to get my me dressed. I have to do that myself. It's not gonna help me with my relationships with my family. I have to put that effort in myself, you know, like we all do.
But helping others is. I think it's the best one of the best things. Helping others helps you.
But the simple fact is why I mentioned at the end of every recording that you deserve to be happy. Remember to be kind to yourself. Because you have helped other people. And I won't go into, you know, a big a big thing about it. But it's true. That these are facts, I will argue, I could argue for the rest of my life.
And I will never back down on this. It's a fact. You, everyone listening to this has helped other people, not just people that you know about, not just people that you're aware. They've told you, you've helped me.
Also people they've never met. indirectly. People love to talk to each other about what someone else said.
Sometimes, then they say, you might have said something to a friend, you might have been talking on the bus. So behind us listening. They hear it. They might think, What a load of crap, what are they talking about? Go home, talk to their partner. Tell them what they heard. And a partner might think, wow, that's that's, that makes some sense that does. Because that person is sitting behind you on a bus, I might be talking to my friend saying you've helped people remember, you've helped people, you know, I might be sometimes I do say this to people. And the person behind me thinks, what's he talking about and goes home tells his wife, boy, you mean, I've never helped anyone, if this person was saying about buses, you don't even do you know, they might be able to go in you will not be a woman having to go Rosalind, you've never helped anyone, you just think of yourself the whole time and move. And then she's in bed. While he's in bed, thinking Well, actually, I've helped a lot of people and start to remember what they've done. And maybe start to have start to notice that sense of self worth, growing, blossoming, coming out from underneath its rock, that it's been, you know, crushed by the person maybe that they've been living with, telling them that they're no good and they're this and that, putting them down. I'm not saying this to split people's relationships up but if you're with someone that's mentally or physically or emotionally abusing you, that is not a relationship. So there you go. So this, this, that person could start thinking and get in touch with that part of them that remembers remembers, actually, you know what I've hired help people remember when to call the ambulance. Remember when I visited that person and you know, in hospital on our end, my friend and there was a lady sitting on her own and I went over and spoke to her and she thanked me because no one had visited because he's got no family. What she got family they live a long way away so she was on her own and she was seen all these other people come in with their family members and shoes feel really lonely. But she didn't want to Yeah, I didn't want to say anything. And maybe during that conversation she said to a bottle I don't feel very well I've been having these pains. And I said you say was I've been on these pains my chest but I don't want to say anything to the nurses for though in so busy. So you go over getting nurse. You might not know what's happened after that, but you might have saved that lady's life.
Somebody has once now I'm not blaming on Trump here. And I don't know why I did it, but it just came naturally to me. And I found it funny as well. Not not the first bit that I'm about to tell you. But I was this lady fell over. So that's not the funny part obviously. And she I think she broke her hip or leg or something. I never found out really what happened to her afterwards, but she was lying on the floor. It was cold. I think it was probably wet outside as well. This is wintertime, not not full winter, but probably autumn. You know, it's pretty cold, windy. There's a lot of people about a lot of people opposite Tesco supermarket. Lots of people walking past not ignoring, you know, birth just looking up because that's what you do you look then you walk on, which must be horrible if you're lying on the floor. I've never been in that situation before. But I can imagine it's quite anxiety provoking to be lying on the floor, unable to move and being the center of attention and you really don't want to be as well as being in pain. And being she was upset. She was shaking. She was you know, it wasn't just the cold it was. It was very, very quite traumatized. She had a husband with he had a walking stick. So it was with her. But he he basically was had to stand up. So a shock came that was near there came and gave her a like a cushion to put under her head and put a blanket over. So that was nice. I was looking at a situation or for now I walked up to say why. And she said on the call. And I said no. And so I'm just like chatting. And I see that he's there. She's down there. And there's people just walk in and they're staring at her. That's what I do is I lay down on the ground with her. And it wasn't for attention. I wasn't taking notice of anyone else I just lay down on the ground so that I could be next to her like facer
kind of end. away as to the ambulance got there. And it's really weird. It's just, I was making her laugh.
And I think she found it so ridiculous that I'd actually laid down on the ground with her. It tickled it really kind of made her laugh and her husband was laughing no one was looking at her anymore. Though probably looking at me wondering what are we looking? What is it two people lying on the floor?
Get a room. That felt like the right thing to do. So helping her helped me because I felt good afterwards. Yeah, I'm no hero. I didn't do. I didn't do any first aid.
I didn't do anything really, other than are distracted from what she was feeling physically. I did a little bit of hypnotic kind of language II stuff, but not kind of obvious stuff. just kept her focused on me. And I feel I held her hand at one point and then her husband said or none of that. She's my wife. I said okay, sorry. So I held his hand as well. We were all happy. We ended up getting married. So I just looked after and just sat down on the floor lay down in Florida.
And it was the most weirdest thing to do. But it felt like how is almost fitting in with who I am as a person
rather than trying to be something different. I actually did what was natural to me. Now father walked on. And that was what was natural to me. And that's also fine.
Because those people there that will look after her. She didn't need me to look after her there was plenty of people that could have the wicket would come up and see if she was okay and stuff. And she got her husband there and as people in the shop. So she wasn't on our own on the floor where she was but you know before I lay down but she wasn't alone alone. I suppose that that's kind of comes together with purpose with meaning. That felt meaningful to me because I was doing what comes naturally. Like a natural meaning actually gives that gave meaning to my Day. I don't want that to happen every day. And I'm not relying on things like that to happen for me to have meaning in my life. I do this, this is what I do I do these recordings. I've done it since 2006. And that's what gives me meaning. But I'm also I'm Andres, Daddy, Andre the Pharaoh, that gives me purpose and meaning, I have to get out of bed every day to look after him to give him food, take him out, give him cuddles kisses, and, you know, just said, Look, just look after him. At gives me extra meaning. And in some way, the meaning I get from him possibly outweighs the meaning I get from doing this recordings. Because there's that bond that closeness, you know, physical closeness I've got within. And I love him so much. So having meaning doesn't necessarily have to have anything to do with helping other people. But I think it's good to get in touch with the fact the fact I say again, the fact that you Everyone listen to this has helped lots of people in the past, and will help many people in the future. Just the kind word, or smile can make the difference with someone that feels invisible. Maybe someone looks at them says hello, or they you know, maybe someone is sitting on the streets, the homeless you know what noticed? Or had they said to me, had a blog or stopped nice, spare change or change, you know, standard kind of thing. And I stopped and I said I've got no money was it I've got money, but I want to keep it I don't want to give it to you. I didn't say that. I said I got no money. They said that way. I'm just I'm just happy you stopped. I've been sitting there for five hours and a one person said lo spoken to me or you looked at me. So even people that want money in their day. Unless they're aggressively begging, then that could be off putting and horrible actually for for those involved. But people I noticed didn't really fall about it before even people that you know, begging on the streets. They don't just want money. I mean, they probably they wouldn't be any good to them if they had the whole day of people stopping and chatting to them. Because they also need money for whatever they need to pay for. But they also need that human contact, that little bit of humanity, to remind them that they are human, that they are part of society even though they don't feel it. And I can kind of relate to that being with anxieties stress, and mental health issues. Sometimes I felt like I'm completely outside of society. Or Come on another planet sometimes. I want strange is because of the older mental illness in a similar way to some physical illness. Like let's say fibromyalgia. People can't see it.
They can't see it. And so they can't grasp it. I'm not saying everybody I mean some people can't grasp.
What is your look okay? And I've been told I've even been told by psychiatrists this not recently but back in when I lost my job and had a bit of spice was maybe a breakdown, I don't know you want to call it in 2013. And I had I mean, I had three psychiatrists I saw and all of them were rude to me. One was rude of our meaning to be. He said to me all I saw even in the knowledge of the changing rooms, the waiting room for you as a doctor or something because you're wearing glasses. didn't pick us up. Because you're smart. Okay? I don't want to break it. And the reason I'm smart is because I'm wearing my work clothes, because that's all the clothes I have is my trousers and my shirts. from working in the office, I didn't really have any casual clothes. And when I go out, I still wear shorts. I still wish shoes and trousers. I haven't worn jeans for years. So like the idea that I look smart, and I'm wearing glasses, therefore, I must be mentally well. Now, he wasn't rude of it. By the same time, like, really? You're professional, you're a doctor. You really yeah. And another person another doctor said that they fall Are you just you might just be shouldn't give me psychotherapy, refused to put me forward to suck for psychotherapy, saying that might just be blagging it just to get benefits. So, you know, I wish I recorded this stuff. And I had another one of his I forget what he said he was rude as well as now the ones I see are really good. But I thought, wow, if that's what the professionals are like, why would we expect someone that has no knowledge, no professional knowledge, no medical knowledge, to think any different. If that's what the professionals are meant to know, I'm a psychiatrist. That's their job is to deal with people with mental illness. That is the that's the sole purpose of their existence, you know, as a job is to help people with psychiatric disorders. There you go. So it's remembering the people aren't going to know. And I went on a tangent there when I but not necessarily can know how you've Well, they're not going to know how you feel. No one knows how you feel going back to earlier. We're the only ones that know how we feel. You can tell other people, but telling them doesn't even explain to them how you feel. Because words, I don't think words really do justice to emotions. Because even though they might feel something inside, and they might have huge love for you and respect, and they're feeling a degree of pain inside themselves, in connection with what you're saying. And your energy and your body language and your facial expression and the tone of voice is still not going to be the same as what you're experiencing. Which means you need to look after yourself as well. Want to say look after yourself. I'm not saying do everything on your own. Forget everyone else. I'm not saying at all. I'm saying you need to look after yourself. You need to be kind to yourself. Give yourself a break. Give yourself some time off every day. Make sure that you remember what's meaningful in your life. Because I said it doesn't necessarily have to be just one thing. My meaningfulness is very limited. I've only got a couple of things in my life that I care about. Other people might have many things that they really, really care about. Something that they really, that gets them through today, you know,
am I have a yacht, or a boat, a fishing boat or a boat or a law plane that they put that they fly or you know, a car that they absolutely love, you know more than just some of the drives but they might really love cars, as well as you know, have huge meaning in their family, as well as maybe having a huge amount of meaning in the job that they do. As well as maybe having doing volunteer work, which has huge meaning for them. So don't think having getting in touch with your life's purpose necessarily has to be about one thing. My life's purpose is this but it's not the only thing that gives me meaning that gives my life meaning. Andre also gives my life my life meaning have in my home gives my life meaning, because it's something that I had to wait 44 years for. I wait a long time to get this place. And even though it's a bit messy, and the carpet needs changing, because of Andre, it gives my life meaning it really does. But I forget that I'll be honest with you, I forget sometimes I lie in bed and I think what is the point what's the point getting up, nothing to go for. But the fact is, there is something to go for. And then sometimes what I do is I change that thinking from what's the point in getting up to what don't have to get up. give myself the option. I don't have to make a recording. I'm not getting paid to do this. I'm not I'm not obligated to do anything. I do it because I choose to because I love it and because I love the idea of helping people. That's why I've been doing it for so long. But I'm not obligated to do it I don't have to do the washing up just means that I'll have nothing to eat more food off as a choice don't have to have a bath just means I'll be stinky then you know he smelly when when you got ferret in a favorite one come near. When the favorite starts opening the windows. In now you need to have a bath. And how he manages to do it but it's very clever. Sometimes I get up naturally I hear the bath running he's he's actually run the ball for me. Slightly cheeky little monkey. So my focus I think because of Boston chickies video, I get I get motivated by quite often by something that's happened. Something that I might have read something I might have seen on television, something that I've just thought about maybe a memory from the past. Something that I read on Facebook, someone's profile, a message someone might send me. Yes, a mixture of different things. And it triggers doesn't trigger that's probably not the right word. But it stimulates my thinking
to a point where I think, okay, I'll talk about this. And I know it doesn't always come out and what the word is, but it might not all come out in order.
You know, I don't rehearse. I'm not reading off a script. That's pretty obvious, I reckon. And things do mix into other things. But that's life as reality. You know, I'll try and cover what comes into my mind when I think about it. I also do try and come back as well. to the, to the kind of main idea of the recording. doesn't always happen, but I do try. Going back to Boston chicky we're going best back to first of all her Thank you boston and i just i know a little bit about Boston chicky. And I'm not going to share down here because she's a friend. I know a little bit about her life, as she knows a fair bit about my life as well. from the past of talk to Evan, I've made videos online that are no longer available as she has when we used to sort of talk about our lives. I don't really do that anymore. But why did one the other day so that's not really a good example did one last night, Jason chats that did the videos that I do. Every now and then, like a vlog but I don't do many. But just to actually hear to say someone tell me what you're doing helps people. It feels nice. It means more. It just means I don't know just what it what it does. It reminds me that I'm not telling myself enough that I've helped other people. I'm not practicing what I'm preaching. And please I hope I'm not preaching. I don't want to be a preacher but I I suppose it can sound a bit preachy sometimes. But some things affect in my mind, the fact. And the fact that you have helped people, and you deserve to acknowledge that effect. The fact is, in my opinion,
that you owe it to yourself to acknowledge that you've helped other people. And you do deserve to be happy. And how often do you get told that in life?
I've only had one person in my entire life, say to me verbally, I'm proud of you ever. And that was my friend. No. And that was after doing a therapy session with someone, just after I'd started learning, hypnosis and NLP. And I told him, he let me use his room, one of his rooms in his club. Afterwards, he said, How did it go? I think he was listening outside for the keyhole. Now he was sure he wasn't. And he said, How did it go? I said, Yeah, it seemed to go really well. And I told him a little bit about the end results, not why she was there. But that seemed to go good. And he said, I'm really proud of you. I nearly cried. Because I've never heard anyone No one's ever said that to me before. And you know, even and that was back in. I was a lot younger back then. So I were 20 years ago. So that would be 1990 1999. So over 20 years ago, that was a still remember. And it meant something. And you know, if it wasn't for him, if it wasn't for No, I wouldn't be doing this now. He's the one that kind of steered me towards NLP, which then led me to hypnosis was an led me to doing this stuff. He's the one that had faith in me. He helped me to get my counseling business going. Support with me through that. He was supportive while I was at college. So, you know, he doesn't realize he's help people. They're gonna No, no, it's not fair for me to talk about someone else that I know. But. And I've reminded him, and I don't, I'm not even sure fee, if you think if you really believe what I'm saying.
I mean, without going into too many details, again, he gave me a job as a DJ. It wasn't about money. It was basically just after pay taxes to get home and travel, there wasn't really any money really involved is really in a sense. It was just for me, it was a social life. And it was, it was, it gave me something to do because I just had a big family problem. There's a really huge thing that just happened in my family. And I told him about it. And then he came up and said, Do you want a job? Do you want to do this? I said, Why? After what he told me, he was going to kill myself. That's what he told me. A few years later, not at the time, but he said, You offered me that job. Because if what I was going to talk myself, what I was going to, he really saw that I was so low down. And I was I'm not saying I was going to do that. But I was really, really low on antidepressants. Because there's a really, really hard period. And I remind him of that. Every now and then. And I think sometimes he thinks I'm just saying it for the sake of it. And I'm being ingenuous ingenuous, but I genuinely appreciate what he did. And I try to I'm not even saying it in a sense of thanking him. I am. There's more case of can you please grasp the fact that you inadvertently, my friend has helped all these people that I've helped over the years, even though he's not been the one making the recordings. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be making recordings. I wouldn't have I wouldn't have started the journey. I may not have ended up making recordings to be fair, but I did start journey they help people are definitely if it wasn't for him. I wouldn't have been a counselor. Because the council LED on from me doing the hypnosis, volunteering, using hypnosis in rehab centers, and I started, I fell in love with the counselors because I was so lovely. I wanted to be like them. Now, I wouldn't have gone down that journey if it hadn't been for my friend. So this, and you know, unless you tell them, if I hadn't told him that he wouldn't have connected it, I don't think he wouldn't have seen it wouldn't see themselves as being important in the process. And he has been, and he still is, as far as I'm concerned, he still is. And he deserves the gratitude for me. For as long as I'm alive. And I'm not talking about worshipping an altar. I'm not going over to lots of pictures of him and light candles every day is no, it's not like that. It's just, I just recognize the gratitude I have. And I want him to feel that as well. The fact that he has helped people, and we all have so you deserve to be happy. I don't off go on I go. So 56 minutes is only going to be a short recording. I suppose also like to just say thank you to Vicki. I mean that that message 3434 years old, and haven't had a stroke. Unless I can't, I can't imagine it. I can't to be that young to be going through that. And to know that. listening to my my funny voice is helpful. mean something to me to hear that. You know, I had years and years and years ago I'm talking about 2009 had a message from someone it was on one of those chat channel things that he used to be able to send messages on. I don't know which one it was. But this young lad send me a message saying my mum listened to you for last six months of her life. And it really helped her cope with the anxiety and the physical pain and all that stuff. You know, we've all a treatment and wherever she was going through, I just want to thank you.
And that was it. Out of the blue. I have no idea who she was I have no idea who he was. Wasn't a friend of Facebook friend or anything like that. I thought wow. For every person that you know that you've helped, or that tell you that you've helped them. I don't know how many of us do. The never going to know, you're never going to realize your could be as simple as this. I love I love this. This is what my brain works. It could be as simple right? As leaving your paper, there's only one leaving yakka you've got the local paper, you leave it on the chair next to you. Maybe sitting at the back of the bus you see leave the paper on the chair on the seat next to you and you get off the bus. The person sitting on the other part of the chair picks up the paper and they read it and they see an advert for job or they see an advert in the lonely hearts column. See you and they wouldn't have seen that otherwise. There were not other free papers on the bus. It was lasting in the afternoon. So they weren't going to see that advert.
And reading the advert. It might not be just an advert but let's say lead reading the advert for lonely hearts. They might decide our I'll contact them and they could end up you know being blissfully happy. Having a child who finds a cure for some disease. Naked should be blissfully happy doesn't have to be a child curing diseases but I'm just saying or finding a job. transforms their life from being maybe they felt that they were unemployable. But actually, it turns out that they were, and their self esteem comes back. Perhaps they were on the edge, you know, perhaps so we're down to the last 40 pound, and therefore, you know, I'm gonna do, I'm just gonna drink myself to oblivion. But instead of doing that, they spend that 40 pound getting their shirt and trousers dry cleaned, to go to the job interview that they see in the, in the paper, and then I get the job. And it's a hell of a lot easier to borrow money off people, once you've got a job, or from family and friends, then if you don't have a job, I noticed that a few years back, I've got a job now dad, but I need to submit help buy food and stuff for the next three weeks. Okay, so as long as it's a job as long as there's money coming. So you could even go even further, they might really not read an article that there would never have read anywhere else. about somebody besides a man there, read an article about someone that he likes, but no one else Jimmy knows about. But it's sort of like, might be a reality style, maybe a musician from the 70s. Even some that he you know, really kind of is interested in birth. And it talks about how they got tested, and he got founded that prostate cancer and stuff like that. And so you need to get tested. And all I had was just a and they mentioned a symptom does maybe not connect nor people don't normally have that connection with it. And that person reading and thinking well for what that symptom, afford, it was just nothing goes to the doctor gets tested, and then has whatever treatments needed. I live a long happy life. Of course, you're not responsible for him reading that paper, you're not responsible for him taking action on what he reads in that paper. The fact that you left that paper there next to him, affected his life. And you know, when I think about those situations, I only focus on the positive, the positive examples, the pot positive scenarios.
So maybe you can think of some in your life. Maybe some of those times in your life that someone else has helped you without realizing it. You know, maybe conversation with someone. I'll give you an example of another example for me, but I go helped someone I worked with. In insurance company, he left and I was still there. And then I left due to illness. This is 2003 November. And then I was working part time in this gift shop. And they told me that they wanted me to leave. Basically, they need to me to get a full time job. Because they couldn't support me because basically it was a Buddhist shop. So it's a charity and they they didn't they fought you know, they were worried about me. I said you need to get a full time job, whatever. So we should avoid me at the time. So I thought I didn't know what to do. I applied an insurance company. They turned me down. I was looking for everything. So I'm in blockbusters. And I see my friend I used to work with the other place. Now he was the only person in my office in that company. There was there was a top salesperson I was sort of just a little bit below in our bows good. But he was he was just phenomenal. He was the best. And I sort of said hey do and he said yeah, I'm working at this place. As a CO is yes. what I was doing, I said are looking for job. He said well wait until tomorrow. And another word with them. The managers and I'll get you an interview. And I'll put a good word in for you because I know you like I know that you're good. So that's really not that I didn't know if you would or not. But I found out the next day. They said yeah, you're you're Jodi's Ranger. I said yeah, I said well Come in, then come into software in three if you want, came in. And they didn't give me the job because of me. They didn't want to say didn't give him the job because of me, they gave me the job because of him. Because he was also at a top seller there. And they put their trust in Him. And I became friends with the manager, you know, a few months into the job. And he told me, he was very, very honest. He said, No, I wasn't going to give you the job. You didn't come across very positive. He weren't dressed particularly well, you, you know, you've been working in a gift shop, it's like, you'd left the other job because you've been ill. We just didn't really want to give you the job. Didn't think that you'd be any good. But because my friend put a good word in for me, they gave me the job. And I was terrible. I wasn't, I wasn't, I was okay. I wasn't quite as great as any other one. But I was okay. The places full of really good salespeople. So they were very fussy who they took on, but they managed to override that fuzziness due to my friend. And me working there led to me going to college, and led to me where I am now. So my friend changed my life. And he's probably not even aware of it. Guaranteed he's forgotten about it. I haven't seen him for a long, long time. You'll forgotten he won't remember that. So there might come a time in his life where he's thinking, oh, I've never done anything for anyone. Well, actually, he has done loads for lots of people. In fact, he got quite a few people jobs there, I think, over time,
saves money doesn't, you know, if they don't have to advertise. I tried to get their salespeople to, you know, recommend friends, though. They knew we're good. There you go. So that's another boring story, then I might put that in my let me boy to sleep podcast.
Which brings me to just reimburse what I was saying, if that's the correct terminology, probably not, is not just enough to have a purpose. I mean, you have to have a purpose, you have to have meaning in your life. That's not enough. You have to remember it. You have to remember, you need to remember, the reason the meaning sign porn is carry around, like a badge of honor
needs to be with you. Just like some have a broken leg, the six weeks of their life, they're not going to forget that their legs broken anytime. Because of that plaster. Simply even if the, even if the legs healed, not having any more after the first week or so is generally sort of getting better and healing. Seeing the plaster known, it's they're never gonna they can't forget because they're and of course, you can't walk around with a meaningful plaster. Or, I suppose unless you've got a tattoo done or something, to remind yourself of how meaningful Your life is, and how important you are and how much you've helped other people. So maybe find a way of doing that. Be creative. And also think about your homework now. maybe think about other times when people have helped you. And they're not aware of it. Not just create, you know to increase your gratitude. It's not for that reason, although that guess that will happen naturally, but not for that reason. But just so you can realize get more in touch with the fact that they're no different to you in a sense of you've also helped others, you may have helped them and not be aware of it. In fact, I'm pretty sure my friend got paid money after I'd been there for about three months from, from being me being employed, so he got like 500 pound or something, I think it's three months or six months. Because it's saved the company so much money advertising. The you know, anyone important someone, I never bothered. Because I didn't really know anyone that would, I was hanging around Buddhists all the time. So I didn't, didn't know anyone would be interested in doing sales. So maybe in his mind, because he got paid for it closer for a couple of years, over two years. Maybe he nearly three years, actually. But maybe he in his mind he fought because he's getting paid for is not helping me.
Which is completely wrong. Because I'd have given him 500 pounds for that job. Because it did change my life. Anyway, at the time there is. So I'm going to go
Thank you for listening. I feel I don't need to say the beat Remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy because so I've been going on about for the last hour, and however long. But it's true. As far as I want to get it across that I'm not saying it just for the sake. It's not a soundbite it's not just men.
Just saying it it's true. It's really true. When you remember that you fought you fought I was about to end in and start talking again. Literally can press pause and stop it you don't have to listen. You mentioned never me as a friend just talking and talking and talking. I'm not really like this in real life. I don't I do love people talk a little bit. I do prefer. I do prefer monologue to a conversation. Yeah, just just remember. Remember that you do deserve to be happy. And remember those things that are important to you. The reason why you do what you do the things that are meaningful and purposeful. And I will leave you there I will go so you take care yourselves. If you liked what I do, leave a review. And I'll speak to probably tomorrow or very soon. Lots of love bye

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