Hello, welcome to Jason newland.com. My name is Jason Newland, and this is relaxation, hypnosis for stress, anxiety, and panic attacks. Please only listen when you can safely Close your eyes.
Now we're going to focus on those times when maybe your anxiety level has risen. But you're in the middle of something, you're maybe at work, you're doing something that you can't necessarily just stop doing. The saying that there's very little that you can that you can't stop doing, you know, you should need to, even if it comes across as being rude, or, you know, in middle of a conversation, you can say, I go in this x, I need to go somewhere, and you're going, get some space or go outside, get some air. And you could literally just turn your back on them and walk away. You're allowed to do that. But of course, it may not help
with your relationships with those people. But it is situations where maybe you feel that you're almost kind of stuck there for a while.
Maybe like being in a supermarket queue. Maybe like being traveling somewhere. Being a party
being in a conversation with somebody way in a bus stop sitting at a dinner table, you know, in a restaurant or a family gephyrin or something like that.
So what do you do in a situation like that? How do you what do you do? Do you run out? Or do you get run out and get some air? That is an option. And that's something that I think it's important. It can really ease the tension. When you remember that you can do wherever you want to do.
You know, so if you decide I mean, I know this is gonna sound absurd. But if you decided Newser family dinner and you decided to climb out a window into the garden, you can do that. While I say I wouldn't fit for a window, but you know, as an example, you do have those options, you do have the option to put your knife and fork down and leave the building.
If you drive in, you have the option to pull over to the side of the curb, park your car and gal
and you also have the you can leave the car there and walk away. You may get in trouble for it. You know, I don't know all of the road laws but you might get a parking ticket. Or worse the call might get taken away. But that's an option you have that option. Which means it reduces the stress level because you don't feel trapped. When you don't feel trapped and you know you've got options. It feels easier. It can almost be the difference between having a closed door and unlocked door to being in a room of a locked door and you're in there on your own. Someone's Lock the door behind them as they've left. That's not a comfortable situation, I don't think for anybody really. But if they just closed the door, completely different, different feeling totally. Because you can leave, you can open the door, and you can walk out anytime. So that's kind of the difference between remembering that you do have those choices. You decide what you do next. Always, we all do. And it's a weird concept because it sounds ridiculous. But at the same time, we know it's true. We decide what we do next. But, you know, obviously, if we were rude to everybody, because we didn't want to talk to them, we'd have no friends. So we decided to take the time to talk to somebody, when maybe we don't feel like there is a choice. We choose to go to work on a day that maybe we don't feel too well. We choose to do that. And even though we justify by saying, well, I've got no choice, got paid a mortgage, got to feed the kids, all that stuff got paid or in called pay the, you know, the monthly payment on the car and all that stuff. The reality is you don't physically have to go to work on that day. Infant means homelessness, as an extreme situation was very unlikely to happen. If you have one day of work. It's still a choice. You just choose, you choose that you don't want that. But it's a choice. And I think that some of us include myself in this, maybe you've spent too much time thinking that we don't have the choice and we are stuck. And we are trapped. And I've expanded it to those situations, they've got nothing to do with stress or anxiety. And now I'm going to focus in on the situations where we do sometimes perhaps have feelings, which are very uncomfortable physically, mentally. And you kind of in a situation where you don't want to be rude, you don't want to walk away from the person because you actually like them. You don't want to just climb out the window during dinner. Because you know that there'd be quite a lot of explaining to do. I mean, I'd have to replace the window frame because of my belly. So there's there's times when we don't want to, we have the choice but we choose not to do things like walking out of the office where you work. Although I have walked out my office work worked more than once in the past.
I hung up on a customer once I had to do the sales call, had a panic attack and I just hung up on the call left my desk walked outside. No one even noticed. But I didn't care I wasn't thinking about that. So you have the option
to do that. What do you do when you don't want to do that?
So you can actually get in touch with what's going on. Moving out of your body because a lot of the space away weird one isn't it because if you think like my body scan in your body, you scan your body is a way to help relax you meditations another thing Be also focusing on your body with that are one of the things that I really didn't want to do. While I was at the height or the anxiety that I was going through, I did not want to focus on my body, because my body was screaming at me, the focus on it, give me all these feelings I didn't want to experience. I didn't feel it deserved any more of my attention. He was giving way too much of it. Which is why maybe the way meditation works, is because you meditate when you're feeling okay. And it's almost like training your body and your mind to be relaxed. So when those feel feelings arise in the future, where you're focused on your body, that body focus almost becomes more of a positive thing. Almost a meditative body scan thing. You'll notice in how you feel but your those feelings are not overtaking you the way that maybe they used to. So that's one thing you can do to prepare for future events. is by relaxing when you're feeling okay. or relax when you're feeling relaxed. Don't only relax when you're stressed. Relax when you feeling relaxed.
If like preparing your food, I was talking to a friend and he doesn't prepare his food when he's hungry. He prepares his food, knowing that he's going to be hungry. At a certain point.
There's an old saying he said don't go shopping when you're hungry. Because you'll end up buying possibly way more than you need. And also possibly the wrong foods. Because you're going to want to snack as soon as you get out of the supermarket.
So preparation prepper preparing to feel more relaxed in future situations of heightened stress. Kinda like a practical thing of filling your freezer up full of food and your fridge in your cupboards preparing, maybe knowing that next week you got snow forecast. So getting to the supermarket will be a little bit of a chore to get a little bit extra in just to cover you know, make sure that you have plenty of food to get through the next two weeks. Just in case it does snow.
This almost a practical thing. Preparing to feel relaxed. Preparing or rehearsing is another way to prepare to know that actually, when you're in a situation and you have those stressful feelings maybe it's okay to have that. You know, if you think about someone that's had gastroenteritis I had that last year I was horrible I was bad after I recovered to a week 10 days or something to recover from that. The next few weeks anytime got a stomach ache or had a very corner you know, a similar kind of feeling to what previously had with that illness.
I was thinking Ani is come back when they hadn't come back or sat with a set with the feeling that it wasn't just a bit of a wind
or basically a fart machine anyway. And it was just wind, it wasn't anything that needed my attention. But I gave it my attention anyway, I got my attention, but just enough for me to feel karma because I could feel my tension rising as a starting to worry, what's happened here, you know, I didn't want to go through that again. I might have to go through it again. But I funny only ever had it once in my life. And that was that was enough. A moment my washing machine and my toilet, neither of those want me to go through that again. I was in always on the naughty step with my wife, with my toilet for about a week. I had to buy flowers, chocolates, just almost like rehearsing in your mind. But with an attitude. I don't mean like a teenager attitude or everyone. I mean that with an attitude of pause positivity.
But also reality as well. Because most of the time we're okay. Most of the time, we're okay. Most of the time.
Even at the height of anxiety, the majority, the pirate the percentage who broke up into percentage, the higher percentage would be when we were okay. We not might not be like hugely relaxed. And, you know, which is hopefully where I can come in to help with that. But I was surprised An example of this is I had a sleep machine attached to me a couple of years back, because I have sleep apnea. And I thought I was funny. But I knew I had this machine put on me to test to what my breathing was like when I was asleep. And at the end of night, while when I woke up the next day. And I took the machine in the next day to the hospital and I said I've got no sleep bloody machine. I couldn't sleep with it on couldn't sleep. I didn't get any sleep because I had all these things attached to me and everything a thing on my farm, I think it was check my pulse rate the whole time and and then they did a they put it into the computer and you know, got the results. And they said, well, actually you did you slept six hours. I said what? And they said you can tell from your pulse. And from you know, you're you slept for six hours, you woke up loads of times. To be fair. I've stopped breathing quite a few times during that period. But I was asleep for six hours. So I did go to bed for about nine hours. So I was awake for about three hours. But in my mind, I was awake all night, and maybe drifted off at last half an hour. That was what was in my head. But the reality is, is what was that 2369 so two thirds of that time I was asleep. So the majority by quite a lot. I was asleep. That was the reality. And once I realized that reality once I kind of had it in front of me the stats were there. You know, comedy argues science. We can but it's a bit silly, I guess. And I started to think differently about the sleeping I started to think well why am I want to learn about this? Why am I concerned about if I'm going to get to sleep because clearly I do get to sleep on spending most of the time asleep even though in my head while I'm laying down I'm thinking that I'm not going to get to sleep and I'm but actually the reality is I am going to fall asleep and I'm going to spend majority of my time when I'm lying down on a bed being asleep. Just like we spend majority of our time Feeling relatively okay. On a stress perspective, I'm not talking about someone in the full throes of illness.
I'm talking about a general day to day stress levels, you know, it's not always high. In the same way people with chronic pain, not always painful. People with depression, they're not always depressed.
They think they are. But they're not. And that's where it's, it's so hard to point out to people because they'll say no, always depressed. And then you find out you can spend as a counselor, I'd spend an hour with someone, they'd be laughing, that we checked in. By the end of it, they'd be saying, Yeah, I'm always depressed. I never love it, like I forgotten it, they'd forgotten that it actually will often. And reality is none of us are always anything. We're not always tired, or not always awake. We're not always hungry. We don't always want to go to the toilet. We're always in pain physically, or emotionally. We're not always stressed. Now, I should just point out I'm not saying depression doesn't exist, because that's ridiculous. Because I've I've had it many times, just saying someone isn't always depressed 24 hours a day. Apart from maybe in an extremely severe situation, over you know, over days and weeks, people have bad days than others. So my clapping in the garden for some reason is nice.
But this is about anxiety, this is about stress, which is moved out of the room. If you plan in your mind, plan in your mind to remember that actually, you can do with the levels stress and anxiety before they get higher. before they get out of control, or before they feel out of control. You can feel relaxed in situations and also it's okay not to feel relaxed. As another thing I think that's quite important to remember that it's okay to feel stressed sometimes, you know, it's okay to be in pain. It's okay to feel down. It's it's natural to have these feelings at times I think you'd be very, very unrealistic to expect all stress and anxiety to leave forever and ever. Because then you wouldn't be a human being. What we want is to reduce the level by practicing and preparing to practice in your mind the preparation that doesn't necessarily need anything other than a thought. Optimism positivity. Remembering the reality that actually it's okay to feel a bit crappy sometimes. And it will pass because every single feeling we ever have ever passes. All physical pain passes. emotional pain or passes pleasure policies.
My feeling stays with you. For like a long period of time, always change in how we feel. And that's one of the benefits.
In fact, you know, what are, I think one of the benefits I got from the anxiety when it first really kicked in, back in 2002 was gave me an opportunity to really get in touch with my body properly in a way that I hadn't been before, go in touch with the changing sensations and a constant change that was occurring in the different parts of my body levels of stress levels of relaxation. Even with chronic pain, one of the benefits of it might not seem like a benefit, but if someone I've got chronic pain in my lower back and in my shoulder, blocking, get in touch with the parts of my body that feel relaxed. And in some ways, they feel even more relaxed compared to those other parts. So when there's stress, maybe I feel got stress in my head, when my shoulders or my lower back in my neck, or jaw, my hands as well, sometimes I can notice how my feet are relaxed, I can notice how my stomach feels relaxed. I can notice how my legs feel relaxed, my chest and my eyes. And then the rest of me starts to feel a bit more relaxed. It's almost like getting in touch with reality. The fact that although this stress maybe in your body was going to have stress in our bodies could be needed to function. But sometimes it goes too high, obviously. And we don't need to put up with that. But the good thing about noticing the parts that feel okay, is you get a reality check. That actually is a small percentage, that feels uncomfortable. Certainly a small percentage of your body. with chronic pain, I know there are chronic pain issues that go in the whole body. But from my situation, my shoulder, my lower back, rest of my body is pretty much fine. And my belly takes up about 80% of my body. So I'll come across as Houston, I want to talk about my belly. But the reality that it's not always nice to face is there is a small percentage that we're dealing with. Compared to in our mind, it seems to be bigger. We almost like we make it bigger, which is part of the whole anxiety panicky emotional reaction, isn't it? we magnify something, looking, literally looking at it through a telescope, what actually is certainly only three feet away. And it's not very big at all. Because we're looking through a telescope, it's massive. So when you take that telescope away, in fact is break the telescope that IT shops and floor break. Don't need to know more. Or you can look for the other end of the telescope or binoculars look the other end and make it small, smaller than what it was. You feel different then. We can feel differently really quickly. which often quite amazing. Really think how easily is to change the way you feel. Because no matter how you feel right now. No matter how you feel right now, whatever feelings you've got going on. While you listen to me, I hope you feel better listen to me feel relaxed and calm. And
but however you feel and when you're at home, you're sitting in your chair, maybe watching Telly, maybe on the laptop, wherever, whether physical, or physical or emotional or
whatever emotions or feelings you're having. If you get a knock at the door, and it's to police officers at your front door, whatever feelings you had before a gone especially even if you don't know why they're there, they're not necessarily there for a bad reason. The mortgages are bad, please knock on the door because someone would have been sleeping rough in the hallway.
You know, it wasn't it had nothing to do me whatever knock on the door. But when I looked through the curtain and saw two police officers there, even though I'm fairly law abiding, I couldn't even tell you what I was thinking or feeling before I looked through that window and saw them which just shows how we feel isn't really concrete, it's not really set. You could say it's not even real, in some ways, instantly changeable no matter how you felt today, amount of crappy you felt or how whatever. If your partner came in your husband, your wife, your son, your daughter, your father, whoever, your best friend, someone came in, sat down and handed you a yellow card. And on it said that you'd won a million pound, a scratch
card. And you know, they'd want it they're gonna share it with you.
The way you felt before is going to be forgotten. Even if you were in the throes of a really a bad time not talking about seriously ill or in hospital. I'm just saying the way you were feeling will be forgotten. Your reality will change in a second. It's not about greed, it's not about money. might have something to do that. But it's your life changes in that moment. Because something so unexpected has happened. And even if you weren't having that money yourself, and your best friend Chi Rana said, I've just won a million pound. And I handed you the scratch card and showed it to you. You just be so shocked and so happy for them. And it might be jealous and it doesn't matter. But the fact is, your state will change your mental and emotional and physical state will change in an instant.
So that's something worth remembering. If you don't believe me test it out. Get yourself a winning scratch card and win a million pounds. Take it to someone that's not feeling well very well. Or it's got anxiety or whatever their condition is and telling you you're going to share that $1 million
or whatever with them. And see how the everything changes within them. The way they sit in their facial expression. Everything the whole demeanor will change. When you're happy with that result, anything okay? Good. What Jason said was true.
Our reality changes all the time. And our state changes our feeling of how We feel changes, you know, physically, emotionally constantly changing. When you're happy with that result.
You can look at your friend take the car back and say, not really on keeping all the money for yourself. But Leisha done the experiment, and you've won yourself a million pound. Or you might want to share the money. That is up to you, none of my business
or you can send me the money, that's a better idea. Send me all of the go out, get yourself a scratch card, with the intention of experimenting to see how it changes how you feel when you win a million pounds or a million dollars. And then if you happy, send me half of that. Or if you just really happy that you got the result of the experiment, and it's worthwhile to send me the whole order of money.
That's my idea. This, prepare it in your mind, you can rehearse the situation is coming up. Because feeling relaxed.
But when you get the idea in your head, and it sticks, the idea that we're always changing, that actually, you do have the option to do what you want to do. You choose what you do next. You always do what you choose what you do next. Doesn't seem like it doesn't feel like it.
But that is true. And the reason why we do a lot of things we do is because we have morals, and we want to live the kind of life that we
want to live. You choose what you do next, it's a choice. Once you address that, once you embrace that fact,
it changes the way you feel. Because you're not a victim of circumstance, you're not, you're not being forced to do something, you're choosing to do it. Or when you choose to do something, it's so much more pleasant.
It takes that pressure off, reduces the stress by a lot.
So that's the only couple of ideas that I've got. Remembering the feelings are always changing, regardless of what our condition is. or always changing the way we feel is always changing. And you choose what you do next. With those ideas, when they stick, and I grow like like a seed grows in your mind. And you start to realize start to notice situations when you realize that you're choosing to do this. Sometimes you might think why Actually, I am choosing to do it. But you know what? I don't want to do it. Which means you no longer let people control you. Those people that like to control, they no longer have that power. And ever did have that power, but you allow them or we allow them to have that power. People have control. And you do because they're allowed to
you take back control of your own thoughts, your own feelings, your own life. And it's okay to feel crappy sometimes. It's okay to have to have stress and anxiety that is okay. It's natural. In fact, there's times in life where you wouldn't be human if you didn't have those feelings.
But it's what level you're prepared to have. Allow them to go to the you get to choose what level they go to. And by remembering that they're going to change anyway, means that you're not. You're not imagining them going high, or going out of control, because in your mind, you remember that actually, feelings are natural was going to change, and you choose what happens next. You choose what you do next. It changes what you imagined kind of nipped in the bud, you know. those seeds are sown in your mind and they grow. And you know, what was something that you think about? You might think there might be a sentence that you've heard, that I've said, and it kind of lingers with you.
And during the day you're reminded of it might be simply that you're noticing the way you feel is changing. You feel different before you go to the toilet, to how you do after you've gone to the toilet. You feel different before you have a bath to how you do after you've had a bath. You feel different before you eat a meal than you do after you've eaten a meal.
constantly changing how we feel and you choose what you do next. So I want to thank you for listening. I'm going to bring this to an end this conversation. And I'll speak to you next time. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love. Bye
Hello, welcome to Jason newland.com. My name is Jason Newland, and this is relaxation, hypnosis for stress, anxiety, and panic attacks. Please only listen when you can safely Close your eyes.