Hello, welcome to Jason newlands.com. My name is Jason Newland, and this is relaxation hypnosis for for stress, anxiety, and panic attacks.
I forgot the title of the podcast. It should be shorter shouldn't anyway should be short, just like me. So welcome to this recording. You might have a little bit of background, Rosslyn and
stuff from Andre running around and playing. For some reason he's become very active right now. That doesn't really need to affect the recording at all. By the way, Andres my my son is ferret. It's my little boy is five years old.
And five, is he five? Yeah, I think he is well. And he's a proper pain sometimes with like, he's gonna go to sleep now. So this is going to be a kind of a personal recording. And also an important subject, I believe. So only listen, when you can safely Close your eyes. But this is not going to be a hypnosis session, it's just going to be me talking about a subject, as I often do with these recordings. But if you're, if you used to close your eyes, when you listen to me, then you know make sure that you only listen when you can close your eyes when it's safe to do so. I don't know how long the recordings gonna last for it might be a short recording. The subjects I'm going to cover is asking for help. So the reason I'm making this recording is because my neighbor the heads, head issues had problems that I don't really know much about if I'm honest. I know little bit but not a huge amount. But she needed help. And sometimes I'd knock on a door to see she's okay. And she wouldn't answer. And she's very insular and stuff. And she died two days ago. And she she was young woman. And she collapsed. And we also managed to get into the well managed to get into the flat and get an ambulance or stuff. But she died a couple of days later on Monday or Tuesday, something like that. So becoming thinking about asking for help. How many of us actually ask for help when we need it.
July, July, there was silence there. I don't think we do. I don't think like I sometimes ask for help.
But there's been plenty of times when I haven't. And that's that's kind of all I wanted to say is
if you need help, ask for because whatever issues you may have with asking for help, whether it's embarrassment, or showing your vulnerability or maybe you think it's shown weakness by admitting that you're Not some superhero. The difference between asking for help and not asking for help could be the difference between being alive. And being in the morgue. You really can, could be as serious as. And without being dramatic. is quite dramatic, isn't it? use the word morgue is sounds a bit dramatic. And on know saying that's the reason my neighbor is dead because she didn't ask for help. But there are lots of people in the situation in my situation, maybe in your situation that don't ask for help when they need to. And I know people like that, and maybe you do. And maybe you're one of those people.
sieves is one thing you can get out of this recording is, at the end of it, decide that you're going to ask for help. If that means calling up a helpline number. Whether it be for you know, anxiety for stress, depression, suicide, those, whatever it might be about whatever's going on in your life. Ask for help. And if for any reason you are at the end of your tether, you are kind of you need emergency help did ask for help straight away. And if you're not needing emergency help, ask for help straight away. Because there may be a waiting list. You might not get that help immediately. If it's not an emergency, but least to start the ball rolling.
And there is help out there. There are people out there that will help. Some of those people won't help because they don't know that you need help. Or they won't help because they don't know how much you need to help. Ya know how serious the situation is. I want to say about asking for help. I'm not necessarily just talking about an extreme situation like the one that I mentioned. It could be just asking for help with doing something maybe you want to go shopping but you can't don't feel you can face going out. maybe ask a friend to go with you.
Because I know some people would rather sit home and practically starve than go to a supermarket or ask for help. And you're not going to get any medals for that.
There is no prize. You won't become a martyr. There's no prizes for suffering when you don't need to.
In fact, all you get his punishment which is the pain that you experience. The mental anguish, the physical suffering. When you don't ask for help. When you do ask for help, maybe is embarrassment. But what is embarrassment ultimately, it's just a feeling just the feeling nowhere near as bad as hunger. I would suggest to pick up a phone Don't let people that care about you know, what's going on with you. And you know what, if you don't want them coming around your home every day, because that's not what you want,
you can tell them that. But you can still ask them for help when you need it. So maybe all you need is to see a close friend or family member, once a week or twice a week
that could change your life. It could transform your life, give you more confidence in doing things. This is just an example. I don't know what everyone's situation is. The bottom line is I'm gonna keep going back to it. If you need help, ask for help. Guaranteed nobody is sitting in a funeral. After you know, with their son, or the daughter or their parent or their brother, sister, husband, wife, best friend. You know, Uncle lon, no one's gonna be sitting in that church or that funeral with a coffin, they're thinking to themselves. I'm glad that didn't ask me for any help. I'm glad it didn't ask me for any help or any favors. Go merchants that have asked other people as well. And it was so embarrassing for them. No, no, we know that that's not true. Nobody's going to be thinking that
is any good? Is anybody can be thinking. I'm glad. I'm glad it didn't bother me. The last year with a life living in that flat on the road, drinking themselves to death, not eating any food not going now. Not having any contact with anybody. So glad. So glad you didn't bother me. No, nobody's going to be thinking there. Because those people in the church or in the, whatever services going on, maybe they're going to be heartbroken that that person they cared about didn't reach out. And they're gonna blame themselves, even though it's not their fault.
And it's really easy to get into the mentality of well, if people cared, then they would know that I need their help. It's not really realistic, is it? The other people spend all their time thinking about me or you. They live in their lives, dealing with their own stuff, dealing with perhaps other children, they've got all their own parts of their family, and other stuff, illnesses and life's stuff. Doesn't mean they don't love you or care about you. Doesn't mean they wouldn't be there for you, if you gave them a phone call.
And I know there's kind of an extreme tone to this. Because asking for help. Doesn't have to be an emergency situation. But if you don't ask for help, when things are
not going so well. What you're going to do if things get worse would you ask for help them to maybe have a little bit of a rehearsal. Ask for help when you need it. And the same ways you eat when you need to eat. You go to the toilet when you need to go to the toilet.
These are natural processes that we we need to kind of go with it's it's biological and needing help is also biological. We were brought into this world by humans. So doesn't it make sense that we can rely and ask other humans for help when we need their help.
In the same side, if you was walking down the street and you see an old lady, or an old man falling over on the pavement, you wouldn't just walk past them, which it helped them. Everybody, I'd say 100% of the people in the world would help that person.
Because it's a natural instinct to want to help a fellow human. Yeah, we can get so caught up in anger and hatred and frustration and all that crap to do with relationships. And
if you see a stranger, falling down, you can want to help them. We're not even going to want to help them, you're just going to help them.
There's no thinking involved. Which means other people also have that they want to help or they need to help. It's a human need to help other people.
It's not a choice. It's a need it's requirement is as important as going to the toilet or eating or sleeping is just not necessarily acknowledged in that way. We need to help others. Even if it's not in a big way, even if it's lend someone off the bus first on it, and so on onto the bus first. or stopping your car and then someone you know drive out.
Or someone drops their wallet on the floor or drops something out of their pocket. The natural need is to help them not because you want to. Because we have that natural need. It's there. It's in bill.
I believe we days just be born with it. And why is it there? We don't know. If we acknowledge it. And it turns it on its head a little bit more as well. Well, if that natural need
to help others is already within us. Then there's that natural need to help ourselves to do what we can to help ourself that natural need is there. And perhaps by recognizing that simple fact gives you that energy that perhaps you didn't feel you had before
and in energy is now there to push you into action. An action might be making a phone call to someone that you trust someone you care about someone who can help you
and just be honest. Because sometimes is this a time to just be honest and not care about niceties. not care about the person Thinking that you're doing really well. And everything's wonderful.
Just be honest. Just tell the truth. Because sometimes when you say it out loud to somebody else, you start to hear it yourself. I've seen that in counseling, I've experienced in counseling myself, saying something out loud, makes it a bit more real. And you are addressing it because you're talking to somebody. And when you hear it, you hear you say it out loud, he yourself say out loud, you realize, wow. Perhaps I should stop. Just ignore it, ignoring this, or putting it down. Actually, this is important. It does need addressing, and I do need help with this.
And I realize some people might be saying, I'm listening to this recording, because I've got stress, or you going on about which is, you know, it's it's fair enough to have that question. Are you getting the help you need? So that could be I can ask you that question in response, are you getting the help and support you need? And the next question, have you asked for the help and support that you need? First question, are you going to ask either for the support and help you need? Or for the further support and help you need? That you're not currently getting? A one more question, which is quite valid question actually. Do you actually know what support and help you need?
professional person may. You may not. I think someone is stressed. You want to stop being stressed. someone's having panic attacks. I don't want to have panic attacks anymore. Some of high anxiety, or social anxiety, unable to leave the house, wherever it might be or an overactive mind. They want you to stop. You want the pain to stop the emotional suffering to stop or the physical suffering to stop.
But you might not know how to do that on your own. Some people might say, Yep, I listen to these recordings and they help which is brilliant. And I've had people wide feedback from people telling me that
but also get help as well. Get yourself seen by the mental health team. Get yourself to the doctor. Tell them about your situation. find different ways to relax. Find people that will help you. support you. And also find ways that you can help and support yourself.
Because ultimately, even if you see a counselor, it's gonna be for maybe 15 minutes once a week. for however many weeks you're allowed to have your with yourself 24 hours a day, every day of your life. So it makes sense to spend a bit more time being kind to yourself. Because you can't rely on that 15 minutes a week to be to necessarily support every other minute of the week can help. They also need to, or perhaps who also need to spend some time looking after yourself as well. But coming back to topic of this session, asking for help. Because you know, having my neighbor die is scared the hell out of me, I'll be honest with you, I live on my own. I don't go out that much. There's times when I don't go out for four weeks time. I don't have much in the way of family, or people that I can necessarily rely on. And I don't reach out as much as I could. Bye, bye, have asked for help with the mental health team and with the professional services. And that was a big step. And I'll tell you what, yeah, I'll tell you let me tell you this. For me, I think it was possibly harder. And then you might think I'm just exaggerating here, but I'll show I'll tell you why in a minute, is possibly somewhat harder for me to get the help, and to ask for the help, then, perhaps would be for a general member of the public. Then you might think all that says we can see it. Were you the king was what the reason is. I had to go to the organization where I used to work as a counselor. Yeah, so I used to work as a counselor, we have mined with mine to charity. And I was with them. And they all know me. And the only way for me to get any help. But first of all, are contacted. And the doctors and they kept put me in touch with these charities, all of which know me. And I just said, No, I can't go there. Because they know me, it's embarrassing. I can't, if I'd been a receptionist, or if I'd been working in the office or an accountant or something, it would have been hard enough. They've known me. But I was a therapist. I was the one helping other people with anxiety and stress, depression, suicide and things like that. At this point I had left. So I hadn't been working for them for over a year. But still, they all still know me. Because I used to go really well with the people that work there. So it was a hard decision. Because the doctor gave me those choices. You can be on medication. So totally been diagnosed with bipolar a few years back before I was ill at this point, six years ago, and he said we're not going to send you back to the psychiatrist. So you've already been diagnosed bipolar. You can just go on a medication. I said, What about therapy? What about help? And he said, Well, here's a list of charities. And it was was two really
healthy mind and mind. Both of which I knew people that worked in both of those places. And I said without seeing a psychiatrist they said well, I can't send you psychiatry so you got to go to mind or healthy mind and then will refer you to a psychiatrist. Because he's already been diagnosed, you'd have to go through that process. So there was no help available for me. Unless I jumped through that horrible hope of walking into that office of all these people, there's not a lot, maybe six people. But still, you know, I knew them saying, hello, you are Jason UI. Yeah. Therefore, I was just given a visit, like a social visit just to say hi, or just passing by? And to say, Can I please talk to you? And I couldn't have counseling, because I knew all the counselors. So you can't have counseling in a place where you know, all the counselors, so that was out of the question. And I sat down, and I was, so I was embarrassed. Or was because I was supposed to be a professional therapist, a professional counselor with a degree, you know, qualified with even extra qualifications, helping people who sit with severe depression. And which was part of the mind, they put us on a course and stuff. Always embarrassed. Or shaking, I was always really, really upset with the whole process of having to go through that. Instead of being an anonymous person on the phone, being be able to go for counseling or being able to put through the mental health service and referred. I was solid, they knew. Not only that, I went to see the social worker, I knew the social worker,
because I'd worked with him another charity. I knew the receptionist at the mental health team. It was just it was it was hard. Because almost like odds, I felt like I was a failure.
But I did it anyway. I did it anyway, I sold, what's the name, who wrote the book, feel the fear and do it anyway? Well, I felt the terror and did it anyway. I felt the failure and did it anyway. And it was the best thing I did. For the best thing I ever did. Because it set me on a journey to gain help to get in support, which I'm still getting is set me on a journey to end up with a home, which was not the reason I did it at all. By should have had my own home 25 years ago. You know, I just didn't know that that was available to me. I just wasn't aware of it. I wasn't aware of what my rights were or what I was, you know.
But that's that's that doesn't matter. But asking for help. changed my life. And asking for help could change your life. And that's what this is about. It's a simple, very simple message. I mean, I literally could have just said the recording at the beginning.
Please ask for help. And then see you now could have been the whole recording.
So asking for help is difficult sometimes. And maybe, you know with family, friends loved ones. It could be way harder than what it was for me with these people that I knew that I'd worked with. Especially if you live in a life where they think you're fine
then Ask for help anyway. Because if you tell someone exactly what's going on how you are, and you ask, not necessarily for money, or even their time, or any practical help, it might just be someone to listen to you someone that you thought was in your life, someone that you would help, or maybe someone you have helped.
Just give them a call or go visit, phone up a charity, that might be able to help you with your situation.
There might be underlying issues surrounding the anxiety, things that if you change those situations, your anxiety and stress, depression, whatever is going on may actually reduce and improve. For example, housing issues, financial issues like debt, you can get help with that stuff. There are charities that will help you. If you ask for help, medication, see a doctor. You know, taking a pill, two pills a day could just change your life. And I'm not saying take medication. I'm not a doctor. I'm not an expert on drugs or anything like that.
That's what the doctors are there for. So ask for help from the people that can help you.
And if someone says no, move on to the next person. Because whatever is happening now is it will pass. It just doesn't feel that way at times. But it will
just need help. We all all of us need help at some point. All of us, every single person needs help at some point in their life. Maybe lots of times, everybody needs help. So if you need help, same dish, repeating the same sentence, if you need help ask for it. In fact, some cases you may need to demand. This also worth remembering you're dealing with humans. So even people in the care profession have to call you have to be nice to them. Otherwise, they won't want to help. I've actually seen people in a alcohol charity I used to work in long time ago in 2006. Seven. And she came in issues horrible, rude, demanding, to be seen straightaway, demanding to not be on a waiting list and all this stuff. And even though she was ill, and she acknowledged that she was ill, and she was trying to help herself and she was asking for help. She was doing it in a way that was annoying the people that were helping her to try and to help her. And they weren't gonna put anything more than minimal effort into helping because of the way she was treating them. And that's human nature as just standard human nature. So, when I say do mine, I don't mean like shouting and stuff, even though it might. You might feel better afterwards for about 10 minutes to Please turn up. So just give us just give it a think, give it a think. And also from the other point on Christmas Day got two neighbors, both in their flats and a knock on both of their doors. One is the person that passed away. The other one is this chap that I see every now and then neither the monster doors I was knocking for a while. And it's hard to help someone that won't accept it. So that's why if you're the one that needs the help, you're the one that needs to take the action. Because someone else might not be able to do anything. Basically, if you're locked in an apartment, or flat or house, you've locked it from the inside, the other person can come in and help you. If you unlock the door, we could use this as an analogy as well as a physical thing as well. a literal thing, unlock that door and let them in. Let them into your life, let them in to your life. But on your terms, maybe that's what I was saying earlier, you don't have to stop like you phone up your mom or your dad or your brother or your sister or best friend or your son, daughter, whatever. Your you don't say, I need your help. Some people will just decide they want to spend every day all day every day with you to make sure that you okay. Which isn't going to always be pleasant for the recipient of that kindness. You know, best will in the world if I needed help from my dad. I would not want him sitting in this room all day every day. That would be an it never would he had to be fair. But maybe once a week. He might you know, he could take me to the shops to get some food. I don't need him to do that. But
if I asked him to do that, I like to think that you would have never have never tested the theory. But I would find someone to do it if I needed it alone learned something during my sales, my sales career and how to talk people into doing things. So just a little bit. But I wouldn't want in there all the time. But it's nice to know that you can you got someone you can phone when you need them. I know that I can phone my dad at three o'clock in the morning, and he'll answer the phone. He won't be happy. But who would be happy to be woken up at three in the morning. If their sleep was not about you know phoning to cheer them up. If you need help in an emergency, first of all, I would say call for an ambulance if it's a medical situation, or if you feel that there's a possible harm situation call for an ambulance if it's emotional support you need there. In England we've got a say Britain, I don't know if it covers the whole of Scotland and Wales Northern Ireland, I don't know. But it's called the Samaritans. And I know there are equivalent all over the world where you can phone and you can speak to someone or sublines you can text so you don't have to have that personal communication with your voice. Sometimes, especially maybe people that have been brought up with mobile phones and they used to text in a lot that for more more comfortable text Then. And that's a service that the Samaritans offer. And it's a service that I guess a lot of charities and help lines would offer as well. If you need help, ask for help. I guess that's the only hypnotic part of this session is embedding that into your mind. If you need help, ask for help. That's now stuck in your head. That's a little hypnotic suggestion I'm going to give you I'm not usually quite as obvious as that. But that's now stuck in your head. And we'll leave that in your mind to remember, if you need help, ask for help. And I don't care if it's annoying, you hear me repeat it, keep repeating it. Or near the end of the recording anyway, but I'm probably going to repeat it in future recordings as well, just to annoy people. If you need help, ask for help. Because I don't care if I annoy you, if it helps.
If it sinks in, to remember that HD you deserve to have help. That you need us deserve that. The answer's yes. God say after me, yes, I deserve to be helped. Say after me, I can ask for help if I need
it. And say, I will ask for help if I need it. And if you do need help, whatever the situation is, to help with stress to help with anxiety, panic attacks to help with your housing situation, financial situation, depression, whatever it might be. or health, there might be a health physical health situation that maybe you're ignoring for whatever reason. And to be fair, it's ignoring physical ailments is I think it's a human pastime. It's natural to want to do that. Because facing up to it is not pleasant.
But then just be analysed and pleasant anyways, it's not supposed to be going to the doctor is not pleasant. And unless you're going to the doctor and I'm trying to think of a pleasant situation as an aspose, if you go you're going with your husband and you don't like him. And he's going to have his ingrown toenail removed. So you go within and watch him squirm. Which might be pleasurable for someone to watch, but I've had that done. It's not nice.
But it's not the end of the world. It's just a nail. So I'm talking more about emotional stuff, which This podcast is about. This recordings are about that.
They also can be expand it to any aspect of your life. As simple as lifting something very, very heavy and you're unable to physically do it. And you know that patch you can't but you do it anyway and you end up hurting yourself. Ask for help. Yeah, as a people that will climb up onto the roof themselves to readjust or put a new aerial on the roof. Or to remove a slate or changing a sticker. Stick a new slate on a slate falling off the roof of gold climb on the roof themselves. Instead of asking for help someone that knows what they're doing, or least someone that can hold the ladder for them, you know, there's no harm in asking for help. In fact, I'm going to give you a little analogy. Yes, an old one from years ago from school. It was. So this isn't mine. And it you might have heard it before. It's very old. But I have not heard anyone really talk about it for a long time. But it was was it the someone did pass away, they go to the pearly gates or whatever. And they get taken to different places. And there's one place is like all foods in the world. All food in the world, you know, every single bit of food, you could, you could eat. And they've got spoons, knives and forks. They're just too big. They can't do anything with them too big. So they can't eat the food. They're not allowed to touch it with their hands. For some reason, so they have to, they can't use the cutlery because it's too big. And they take him to another place. And it's exactly the same. They call his big cutlery. exactly same. And he says, and the person in charge saying that place before is how, and they were all looking miserable. But this place, they will look happy. They said this place is heaven. And the person that was slight being given the tour, he said, What's the difference? He said watch. And he watched in the people were helping each other to eat. You know, for people per spoon, holding it, and tipping it so the person could eat off off of it. So they're helping each other to share the food with each other. Helping each other hold the big cutlery. So helping each other. They turned that place into heaven. Because I had everything we need to explain the DOJ, they had everything they could want all the most beautiful food
that they could eat. But in hell, they still had all the beautiful food,
because they wouldn't help each other. It didn't get to wait to ask you for help. It's really important. I'll leave you on that I think I can't believe have babbled on for 53 minutes. Thank you for listening. And I'll say one more time if you need help. Or if you feel you need help. Will you feel you're going to need help. And please ask for help. And you know what if you don't know where to go to get help. Ask someone to help you to find someone to help you. To ask someone where you could find some help. Looking look on the internet, find a local counselor. A private counselor phoned him up and say Can you can you? You know, can you give me an idea of a charity that can help me
going to the library. lots of places you could go to. You could even go to an AA meeting. Just go in there before the meeting starts or at the end of the meeting. And just ask the leader of the meeting.
Do you you know one if you could help me it's not alcohol related.
But it's, this is what's going on. I was wondering if you know anyone that could help any one, you could put me in touch with that I could go and contact those meetings, those kinds of places like tentacles of God. Because the people that go there have got, you know, you've got feelers in other departments in other places. They know the doctor surgeries, they know the, the health clinics, the charities, the mental health places, the counselors, they're going to know people, they'll be able to help
us all end on that one. I hope that I've in some way helped you. Take action, and ask for help if you need it. And remember, we don't always know if we need to that could be a question worth asking.
So I will be back again, probably tomorrow doing something another recording. So thank you for listening. I hope this has been useful. And I'm speaking from my heart when I do this. So
I've repeated myself quite a bit. But this is really important. I think so. Remember, to be kind to yourself. Remember to help yourself.
Not in the old cliche of work, you know, you gotta help yourself before anyone else can help you. Because that's almost the way that's put. The way that's represent presented by people is almost a put down. We know helping yourself so you don't deserve to be helped.
No. Help yourself because you do deserve to be helped. But you can help yourself by asking for help. And be kind to yourself, because you do deserve to be happy. What's up bye
Hello, welcome to Jason newlands.com. My name is Jason Newland, and this is relaxation hypnosis for for stress, anxiety, and panic attacks.