#65 Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety & Panic Attacks (Jason Newland) (21st November 2019)

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Hello, and welcome to Jason newland.com. My name is Jason Newland, this is relaxation, hypnosis for stress, anxiety and panic attacks. Please only listen when you can safely Close your eyes. And please visit a website. If you like what I do, maybe you could leave a testimonial just to tell others what you think. It's also a gift me page as well. And you can help me to support this free service. So I've been reading this book What's it called? Let me get the correct title. So I'm not giving you the wrong title. And it's a swear word. So if you're easily offended, then we do listening to me. Right? The book is called all anomic. So my I'm listening to the book. Okay. It's called I shouldn't take this long shoot at my library. Okay. It's called fuckit by john Parkin. Right. So that's the name of the book. So I've been read, I said, I've been reading I've been listening to the audiobook on Audible. So I like to listen to books as well as read them. I'm quite I'm a very auditory person. So if audit audit, audited if audible had been around when I was a kid, I would have listened to books probably more than read them because seems to go in you know. But anyway, I'm not advertising audible although it's is good but it's up to you if you if you want to join them or not. I don't get paid anything if you do. So fuck it is a book is spelt doesn't just say it's like, hyphen down the the FEC k bit on the title, I think is fairly famous book. And wasn't quite sure what to expect, by the way that this does fit in with what I'm about to talk about.
Something that he says whatever his name is that wrote it. Michael path it was talked about the word meaningful. The way you mentioned it, talked about it, I started to think about it differently.
Or think about it from a different angle. And he said, he says in the book that our lives. I'm not sure if I'm saying it in the correct terminology that he used.
But there's too much meaning is meaning full, like we're alive of full of meaning. But not in a spiritual way, not in necessarily useful or positive way. But just in an overloaded way. That's what I got from it. The overloaded meaning, the overloaded trying to please other people, your family, friends, bosses. husband, your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, children. Customers even a guess if you've got your own business or you work in a place where it's customer service based your colleagues at work. Maybe even the bus driver, or the person sitting on, you know, sitting down giving you see up for someone always looking out to help others, which I don't think is a negative thing. But it could be a bit overpowering a bit too much sometimes. So that's what I'm talking about today in conjunction with anxiety and stress, because going back to when I, well, I talk about 2002 November, when I had my first panic attack. Well, in all honesty, that wasn't the first time that I'd had a panic attack. It's just the first time that I recognized and was absolutely terrified by what's going on. And previously, I'd worked in a nightclub. And I was at a party afterwards, going back to I don't know, probably 9099 2000. And I couldn't breathe. I had to leave the club couldn't breathe. I put it down to drugs. Again, something perhaps I shouldn't have not glorifying anything, but the fact is, at that time, that's why I put it down to that same thing happened another time when I was completely no alcohol, no nothing. Just I put it down to the place being too smoky. Because that was when you could smoke indoors in nightclubs.
It happened when I was watching a comedy movie. And this was again probably 99 Yeah, it must have been 9099 so still smoking and smoked a joint. Emma started laughing not couldn't stop laughing. And started choking.
I couldn't breathe, had to go in the garden. And I put that down to the joint. So I didn't realize at the time that me mi laughing had nothing to do with panic or anxiety. Me coughing probably due to the joint, you know, smoking my lungs choking a little because I was laughing so much. It was very funny scene in a movie. But in the past before that time, if I'd been laughing and I was like coffee and stuff. I would never in a million years think oh, I'm gonna die now. That wouldn't come into our mind. It wouldn't even wouldn't even bother me. For some reason on those three occasions that I mentioned all three occasions. I felt like I was gonna die. Cuz you know, I couldn't breathe. And relatively I've always been kind of healthy physically. Most of the time. I've been a bit overweight for the last 20 years but not like drastically overweight and I haven't got any I've got mental health issues. We've got no really physical stuff of any kind of major concern, you know. So I haven't I never I didn't have that thing in my head saying oh, we could be this My heart might be about to go or my lungs are kicking in or wherever.
So something changed. And I had these I panicked due to house feeling. And that's what was different. As it's so different from the actual the anxiety attack that I had, which kind of led to a panic attack, I don't know. But, uh, wherever you want to call it, in 2002, I was just on the phone, and my brain felt like it was melting.
Not everything just went weird. Like, really, it's almost like I was out of my own body. And I thought I was gonna drop down dead. That's why I really thought I felt my my I didn't, I was having a stroke what you know, I really wasn't sure what was going
on. All I knew this is weird. The one thing I didn't want to do was fall down dead in the office. Because even at that point, in the throes of mental anguish, I was still concerned about how other people saw me.
And I didn't want you know, the lady's perhaps one particular lady that I really liked. I didn't want her to see me fainting. Because in my mind at that time, that was a huge, a huge sign of weakness. That's how I used to think. I used to think it would be pathetic. The idea of having a panic attack would be absolutely ridiculous. And that's what weak people have. Of course, I no different now. But at that time, I was ignorant. I'm ignorant to many things now. But I was particularly ignorant to that. And sometimes the only way we can have knowledge of something is by experiencing it or see someone else experiencing it, or studying it. I remember my friend who used to be a bit RC with me, when I had panic attacks, when I was going through that two year period, really intense to 2000 by 2003 2004. And visiting them and my legs will go numb and it gets out with me. Because I traveled to London to see him. And we always used to sort of do something. And I couldn't do anything because I was
like a slave to the feelings I was having. Then a few years ago, he got diagnosed with depression. And it knew that I'd been through depression many times and stuff over the years. But he never had any
compassion really, you know, towards, or no understanding. Sometimes compassion may need a bit of understanding is you know, compassion isn't necessarily something that you can just create. I mean, there are meditation practices, and there are ways of increasing, you know, that kind of that part of your brain to think more kindly to others, you know, some people are born with it. I wasn't. I was nervous. I think I've really had much, and I've had much kindness in
me. So I'm not judging my friend. I was just the way he was.
I had another friend that had never, he didn't understand panic attacks. And then one day, he phoned me late at night, and it was having one it's a different friend. And I talked to him and I did my best to talk him down and just to calm him down. But he until that happened, he never understood it. And there's no reason for anyone to understand it. Not really. Unless it happens to them. I guess that would make sense. I suppose. I mean, why add more stuff that we got? That we got to know about it, I suppose.
And you may be thinking, What's the point of what you're saying? Well, one point is to say two kind of two, two kinds of kind of panic attacks I had, there was the ones before 2002 where the panic came from something that happened previously, which hadn't bothered me before. But then it happened a few times. And that's why I stopped smoking. Drugs. It was only weed, but I stopped because of that. Now, I didn't admit to myself that there was a problem by anxiety. I knew that I was, I was on and off antidepressants for since 2005, nope. Since 1995, rather.
So 20 I don't know how many years 24 years. But I didn't acknowledge it myself. I just figured it was the Wade was messing with my brain. And then, you know, I was attributed the environment to,
to the feelings I was having, like the coffin and kind of unable to breathe it and then then that would send me to a panic, and it's the natural course i'm going to panic. Why wouldn't someone panic if they were struggling to breathe? It's the net, it's the most natural thing in the world isn't really
what didn't give myself a hard time over it. Which in some ways, I think helped. Because I didn't expect to have them. So in a weird way, or maybe an unwed way.
I kind of plan not making a big deal about it. to myself, for me, I didn't worry that there was going to be another one come in.
So in a sense, I did say fuck it. But not realizing I was saying Fuck it. I didn't realize I was saying that. Let's use the word stuff. Just for the sake and just in case there are people that don't like the word or who cares. Or it doesn't matter. When I had the, the extreme anxiety in 2002, November, it was on a different ballpark. It was a different level, to any field that I've ever experienced in my life. And I, yeah, pretty much at two years of hell, the first shoe that was the worst 2003. And I still went to work, I still had a bit of time off went to work, when I could still try to keep my job, keep everything going. I was good at what I did. And I was sitting there for eight hours a day. With an anxiety level that couldn't have been healthy for my body. It could not have been good for my heart, for my brain for my body, generally my nervous system or for my kidneys, you know, with that
adrenaline running through my body and I was just sitting there in a chair. So, I know I can't go back in time. But if I could, if I could. That is a question actually. We could all ask ourselves in various different situations where
you could go back in time to yourself or imagine the future you 20 years in the future coming back at that low time. a time machine or Back to the Future car or wherever you want. What advice would they give to you? Bear in mind, they're still alive in 20 years time. They're healthy, you're healthy. What advice would they give to you? Regarding anxiety, stress, and panic? What advice would they depart? To? What words of wisdom? What words of comfort? Would you give yourself? If you could go back to the first time you ever had an anxiety attack? And I don't want you to do that, because obviously we need to stay in the moment here. But if he was able to what would you say to yourself? what you know now? What words of comfort? Would you embark on yourself? Would you What would you say? maybe it'd be just one sentence. Maybe it would be simple, yet as powerful as a big hug. And it's going to be okay. You're going to be okay.
Because sometimes that's that's the thing, you know, the best person in the world to give us a hug is us. I know you can kind of put your arms around yourself so you can do it. And maybe it's it's worth doing even think I can't do some holding this microphone thing. But
I kind of move mountains a bit and it feels nice. That kind of comfort. I think it's it can be quite easy. Sometimes to forget just how much we actually have available to ourselves. How much words your use for this. How much love we have inside to come we can actually share with ourselves
those kind words of maybe we we save for loved ones for those in need. For those you know, in difficult situations that difficult times. Well, how about saying it to yourself about hugging yourself and telling yourself that it's going to be okay.
Because it is is going to be okay. And I realize it's nice to hear it from someone else.
It's more important to hear it from yourself. It's more important to us to tell yourself either inside or outside you can say out loud, you can look in the mirror every day.
I look in the mirror every day just to make sure I'm still beautiful. never disappointed. I have I have a magic lying and mirror. It's great. If you just look in the mirror and say on the beach, okay. You can say you're going to be okay if you want be towards yourself your why you don't have to make yourself a third person or second person or whatever that would be.
Cuz I know I say this. I've said this many times but it's not. It's not nothing new to me. But the fact is
No one
else in the world have spent every single second of your life with you. Except you. No one in the world knows you. The way that you know yourself. There are people that can see your blind spots that you like, we've all got blind spots, and I don't mind about blind spots. Because they're called blind spots for a reason. You can't ever ever go to someone for their blind spots, because they're blind, they can't see them. So all we can do is try to discover them. And make whatever changes are needed for our own happiness, I suppose.
We know ourselves better than anybody knows us. We know ourselves better than anybody else will ever know us. We're the only ones that know what we're thinking.
No one else does. And if people knew, whichever we're thinking, I'd be surprised if anyone would have friendships in very difficult bits of want to be. What are you thinking? You thinking that about me. That's why it's, it's quite nice to keep it inside. Just thoughts. They used to be time years and years and years ago. Okay, sometimes happens still. But there was a time when I used to think about doing something. And then I I'd start acting, and emotionally reacting as if that thing was a permanent thing, like it had to be done. As an example, I'm going to leave that job to I'm not going to go into work tomorrow. And then start thinking about all the things that would happen, and I wouldn't have any money coming in wafaa can get another job, all these scenarios, which is positive in a sense, if it stops me doing something a bit erratic, like just not turning up for work. However, it hadn't happened, it was just thinking about it. At the time, when I was a lot younger, I didn't realize that these were just thoughts. It almost felt like they were real. When I was a child, I used to believe that why thought would happen, that I was responsible for other people's actions. This one fell over that was me that caused that to happen. I realize I'm probably sharing wait way too much with you.
But it was wrong. It was faulty thinking. I never told anybody was thinking. So I didn't have any corrections. I didn't have anyone to say to me.
Look, she fell over you inside the school gate she fell over had nothing to do with you. Perhaps she could have called a teacher so she got a got some help. But other than that, you're not responsible.
So I kind of had to learn in a different way. Because I don't remember ever learning this stuff at school.
You know, thinking and realizing the thoughts, just thoughts. They're not real. A brain thinks they're real. Our unconscious mind kind of believes what we think as well. If we focus too much on it, which means you can then control how you feel. And you can have control over what your unconscious mind takes to heart. So believe in you can feel relaxed and calm. And you can say fuck it to things that aren't actually that important. You can allow yourself to just let go Some of those things are a little bit not really important to you. So I don't know about you, I spent years trying to fit in unsuccessfully most of the time, but try to fit in with society, try to pretend that certain things were important to me when they weren't. Because I wanted to, at least, at least the very least disappear into the crowd. You know, not to stand out. And I'd hear people talk in and, you know, some of the prejudices and, and I would never write at times, I wouldn't ever say anything, I just let them get on with it. I wouldn't contradict them. And I wouldn't challenge them. But didn't agree with them. And it takes a toll. I think putting up with people that are disagreeable, that are really hard work. And I'm guessing that we've all got people out there in our lives, who have had a certain points. And I would make a very big guest that I've been that difficult person for a few people over the years as well. So, you know, I am kind of, I'm open to that possibility that I was, I was the difficult person. I try not to be. But when I was young girls, it will be more chaotic. And now maybe it's an age thing. Maybe it's but I think it needs to be because that's almost talking down to someone, you know, well, why should someone is 18 or 22? Why should they wait to be 49 before they can feel more relaxed?
I'm not ridiculous isn't it took me years to learn lots of different ways to get to the point of calming down. hypnosis, NLP meditation. Writing, talking about things count, I'll become a counselor did three year degree in counseling in order to try and help myself to deal with my brain?
Plus loads of medication over the years. I mentioned m&e with wheelbarrows full of medication I've had since I was 25. Wow.
So why wait, when there are probably people and situations in your life that you just don't enjoy. And you don't like and maybe causes. You have a reaction, a physical reaction and emotional reaction when you think about these things. And you might blame it on stress and anxiety and panic,
when actually you just don't want to do it. So I'll give an example. There's a workout in and for whatever reason, for example, you cannot stand a colleague that you work with. Just don't want to see them outside of work for whatever reason.
And there's a work dinner, a work lunch. And instead of saying no. You say oh yes. And then you get all anxious about it.
And start having palpitations and panic feelings and you blame it Well, I would blame it perhaps on anxiety, it's my anxiety or the disorder. It's my panic disorder, it's my stress
when the fact could be, it's just that you don't want to spend time with that bastard from work.
And why should you if you don't have to. And as soon as you realize that, check your stress level, then you say, fuck it, I'm not going. I don't want to you don't need a reason. For anything, really.
There's situations where perhaps you, you feel you need to give a reason, because otherwise someone might get upset. But ultimately, if you're listening to this, you're an adult, you don't need a reason or an excuse. As long as you're acting within the law of your land. Whatever it may be, wherever you are, you don't have to give a reason. If you don't want to do something, then don't do it. If there might be consequences, of course, if your boss says, I need you to, I need you to go and work in, you know, sit on the other chair and work it out of a desk for the rest of the week. And you say no. And you get reprimanded and sacked.
Well, that's that's the result. We still had a choice. But you know, it's about thinking things through without just reacting, there's still a choice. That dawned on me a while back, actually, to start thinking that way.
A bit more about other things in your life. The fact is, we do have much more choice than perhaps we give credit, or credit for. I think the the idea is, well, if there's going to be if you make a choice, you make a choice, which is going to be harmful. And therefore you don't have a choice, still choice, you just choose to do something isn't going to cause you harm. Still a choice just means we have less of the victim II you know, self victim going on. Because we're not a victim in that situation. Although we may be manipulated in that situation, which means that perhaps is something that could be used to be changed. Because not everybody can just leave the job they're in. I had a job when I was being bullied, the woman was trying to bully me.
And I wasn't financially able to leave us up with it for about a month or two.
And then I left. And I still didn't have the financial means in order to leave by left and I got into financial problems and it was really difficult. But a weight up off what rather have no money than have someone bully me.
Or try to bully me whether it was the correct decision financially, it wasn't. But it was a decision, as it was a decision to stay there for two months when she'd started.
As she was longer than two months really. Yeah, it was longer. But you know, I'm just saying it got worse and worse. There's always a choice. And I think the more those crappy bits of our life, we can remove those things that we just don't like doing the more relaxed we're going to be So if you've got a friend that you don't like, which might sound like a weird thing, but I've had friends that I just didn't like, had enough of and couldn't be bothered with anymore. Just for whatever reason moved on, you know, just moved apart, I've got different interests,
they've been rude to me, whatever. And sometimes it's good just to let them go. If that feels right, the idea of just saying Fuck it. To all these, the idea of meaning full, the full bit, everything's got meaning, well,
I don't think everything does have meaning. Or not the kind of meaning that I want in my life.
The only thing that I do the fields meaningful is this. The rest of the stuff I do is just stuff.
But then I live more like on a life that I want to live now. Not trying to please other people. Not trying to stone. I mean, this is more, I don't want really to get too much into my life. Because that might just be a personal thing for me. And everyone has to choose for yourself what you want to do. But ultimately, maybe start letting go of stuff. Because there's plenty of things that you don't have to do. And if you choose to do something that you don't have to do, it's a choice. And it's free. And even if you still do it, it's still free and to remember and realize that you have a choice. You don't have to do anything. You don't have to eat. You feel ill, the longer it goes away and eventually you die. You don't eat for long enough.
You do have to eat to stay alive. But it's your choice. Whether you eat and how much you eat. I don't have to eat that chocolate that's on the side.
Or guarantee you within half an hour finishing this that chocolate will be in my tummy.
But that's a choice. I know it's not the the most healthiest thing to be eating. But it's not my dinner.
I'm not getting up every day for having chocolate bar from the breakfast. Mind you know what really into chocolate first thing in the morning. I would judge anyone for having that. But I think if I did dad have notes wouldn't have any teeth.
Matthew two, three teeth of God, I want to keep them. So what do you say fuck it. How can you reduce your full of meaning stuff, the stuff that maybe is supposed to be meaningful, that maybe isn't really to you. But we've been told it is or you've been told is or you feel that pressure. Maybe don't want to do laden stuff. There's things that you really don't want to do. And it's got nothing to do with anxiety.
By actually it causes anxiety because we're doing things we don't want to do. And of course you can't get rid of everything unless you choose to. But that could end up leading to homelessness and no money and which is a terrible situation to be in. So it's small steps. Maybe the odd bit big step. leading you towards you where you want to be in your life. So if someone's got a situation where they don't like the job, but don't like their partner, don't like their family don't don't love where they live in, don't like their body weight, then it can all be changed at the same time. It's just choosing, which is the thing that is most important at this point. And knowing where you want to end up, if you want to end up with an improved relationship with the person you're with, work towards that, or whatever way you want to go there. Change in your body weight. That's something that can be done, gradually changing your job changing where you live, all these things can be done.
They can take time. But when you realize that actually you've kind of got this plan.
It takes away the stress and the pressure. Because something nice when you think about it, think how you feel if you're working and you work Monday to Friday, and
three o'clock on a Friday afternoon, finish at five or six or whatever that feeling for most people, regardless whether they love their job or dislike their job, that feeling is nice to know there's only a couple of hours left, they're going to have the weekend off.
Depending on obviously their home situation. I mentioned what that would be like if there was no Friday afternoon. And it was seven days continuous without a break, with no breaks to look forward to. Often that somehow sometimes how we can get in our minds, when it comes to things like jobs,
relationships, how our body is where we live, like it's some cow sitting concrete, and it's never going to change over. On the fact is, everything will change regardless. I can say I'm going to live in my flat forever. If I have mobility issues, I will have to leave this flat, so won't be able to guard the stairs. If I had serious mobility issues, I won't be to go up the stairs. So I'll have to leave, no matter how much I love the flat. So nothing is sent sitting concrete or stone wherever you want to use for that analogy. When you realize that actually, this job you're in the maybe isn't exactly how you want it to be
is not only is there a Friday afternoon, or whatever day you finish for the week, you've also got the ending of the job, you know that you're going to be moving to a different job at some point.
There is something to look forward to something to plan for. Which will give you a sense of release from that stress. Because that Friday afternoon feeling can be wonderful. I've worked in offices for years. And it's such a different atmosphere on a Friday afternoon, than any other time during the week. There's a real you could feel the winding down of pressure. Even with the management. Even if there's a Saturday work, even if the people come in in Saturday morning. There's still a degree of winding down knowing that it got to the end of the week, you can relax compared to if it was nonstop continuous which would be the difference between feeling that way with a job Unlike knowing the answer, there is an end. So you can start to wind down. This can now be your Friday afternoon. So anyone that's in a job they dislike, this can now be your Friday afternoon, three o'clock on a Friday afternoon. The next two hours, which could be the next year, or even next five months, six months, wherever it is, that last little bit is where you're transferring and transforming and changing your job to somewhere that you want to be.
So the the way you feel changes, when you look at it differently. And I do realize I, I kind of move around from subject to subject sometimes, and
it's hopefully useful on filling some of this stuff. But I'm wondering what in your life, how much is too much meaning in the sense of stuff that we're supposed to care about, that was supposed to be interested in? That we're supposed to give our time and energy to? What actually,
perhaps you don't want to? What things are you doing in life that you don't like doing? I mean, that you really don't like doing. And you can even up how many things in your life do you enjoy doing,
compared to how many things in your life that you don't enjoy doing? It's not about getting rid of everything you dislike doing? Because
that's not reality. I mean, no one likes paying bills, but we all have to do it.
No one likes wiping their bum, but we all have to do it. You know, the stuff that we have to do with that list of things that you enjoy doing is shorter than the things that you dislike doing. Then something not right there. And then out of that list of the things that you dislike doing, how many of those things do you absolutely detest doing. Because then they're the ones that need to be looked at first.
And then you look at the things that you enjoy doing. You need to do more of that. And also out the things you enjoy doing on the other side. What things would you like to do?
What things have you always wanted to do pleasurable things, just for the hell of it. Just because you want to just because you deserve to be happy. And you deserve to do things that give you pleasure. This a few ideas. That's all this is us all these recordings are just a bunch of ideas that may be useful thoughts and ideas to think about. to look at things a little bit differently. Just sometimes just slightly looking at something a little bit differently, can change the way you feel dramatically going from an unpleasant feeling to a neutral feigning. So it's like doesn't even it's almost like this no longer feeling there. It's not really doesn't bother you anymore.
And if one thing has happened there, one part of your mind has changed. One idea has had an effect on this recording or any of the previous recordings on this podcast or any of my other podcasts on my website is 101,150 recording. On my website, but a free to download and listen to
add change can be an almost a domino effect, which then it lets you see what's possible that maybe you didn't realize was possible. And what's possible is what you
can do. And in a way you decide what is possible. Which is kind of quite a nice. A nice place to be is kind of a position to be where
you actually have choices. And we all know we do you know, deep inside, we know that we've got choices.
It's just hard to be hard to accept it hard to can sometimes be a little bit difficult to kind of get your head around the idea to actually Yeah, I've got choices but without blaming yourself without criticizing yourself. And I think that's, that's where some forms of therapy come a little bit unstuck. Maybe even very spirituality religions. Sometimes it can be a bit of blame a bit too
much blame and blame is unhelpful. Let's use that word. It's unhelpful. To taking responsibility, isn't taking the blame. We don't need to have that word in our lives.
All I think is the word blame as a cliche. Just another thing that people use a word that people use, without thinking about what they're saying. Something like this, no smoke without fire. You know, everything happens for a reason. People just saying stuff without thinking about what they're saying. Some people think about it and no doubt. Is it helpful? almost feels like quitting and giving in sometimes, like, wow, nothing I can do about it. Well, it's always something always something we can do about stuff. Always. Even if it's just accepting ourselves, being gentle. A lot to be said for being gentle. can transform your life. being gentle to yourself, can transform your entire life very quickly. Because then you start treating yourself with respect. Treat yourself with kindness, treating yourself with love. You start to notice the things that you say to yourself.
I mean, when I used to see my nan I used to even as an adult, I was careful what I said.
You know, I like to swear sometimes I'm rude and stuff not not with her. But you know, just in my life I can be this silly.
Always respectful with her. So why can't I do that with my brain was how I started to think I wouldn't walk up to a member of the police force and start saying stuff to them that I say to myself, because I'd get arrested. Which means I can control what I say. And what you say comes from what you're thinking. So therefore, you do have some control. It's not about controlling
in a sense of someone being controlling. It's about noticing it's about choosing being selective. So anyway, I've gone over the hour for this, which I don't normally do.
So I'm going to wish you well say goodbye. If you like what I do, please visit my website
and leave a testimonial. let others know if it's you know what's useful to maybe mentioned the podcast he listened to. And I'm going to leave you sir thank you so much for listening.
And remember to say fuck it. I'll speak to you very soon. Remember to be kind to yourself, because you do deserve to be happy. Also, love bye

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