#59 Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety & Panic Attacks (Jason Newland) (22nd September 2019)

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Hello, welcome to Jason Newland calm. My name is Jason Newland, this is relaxation, hypnosis for stress, anxiety and panic attacks. Please only listen to this, when you can safely Close your eyes. Now the See, it's worth checking out the website for a couple of reasons, firstly, because I put a lot of work into it, so I want people to visit. But there's everything that I've done pretty much is on there. And yeah, it's got a lot of good stuff on there. No, not just these recordings, but at least you get a sense of other stuff that I've done. And also things that might be useful to you. Because I've got a lot of relaxation recordings I've made over the years, some short some longer. And I kind of specialize in sleep sessions as well. So I've got hundreds of sessions for sleep and insomnia, which, at the same time are also very relaxing. So there's a lot of things to choose from, that may be an addition to this, or this may be in addition to them. So I'm gonna start with what I want to talk about today. A couple of things, actually, this kind of come to my mind
is with anxiety. Anyone that's had anxiety for any amount of time. Very likely to have depression as well. With someone with depression isn't necessarily going to be having anxiety.
But for my own experience of having have had depression with anxiety, have it anxiety that led to depression, because I was depressed about the anxiety. And it makes sense really, because I don't think anybody's okay with it. And acute anxiety and stress, panic, and all that stuff is
is it can be depressing. Because it's so horrible. But what I wanted to talk about is, in some ways, flipping it on its head. Because with anxiety, I can't keep saying the word anxiety and stress, you know, you know what this podcast
about. So with these conditions, the advice is always about what you need to do, what you can do, what you may do to make changes, to reduce the anxiety to reduce the stress to help reduce the panic sensations, the you know, all that stuff. But what I don't think is necessarily focused upon is
what is actually missing. What's missing from your life. I'll be worth what needs not being met the year in your life bound, quiet big believer in making changes if they're needed. And I know it's not for everybody. And some people have got big financial commitments,
mortgages, children and stuff like that. Yet if you're doing something and you're profoundly unhappy doing it and then you start feeling anxious, and you start feeling, you know, panicky.
Maybe your body, your mind, your brain, your unconscious mind, whatever you want. It's actually giving you a message. It's send a new signal that something needs to be changed, that your needs are not being met. I don't know what those needs are. That's something gonna you can delve into. But there's basic needs that we all have. Being happy is you know, after the basics of eating, having somewhere to sleep, shelter, oxygen, gravity, not the things that I've talked about before, but those basic things, human contact, and that can depend. Some people feel lonely when they're not around people. I don't really I don't really have that. But a lot of people do. And some people need human contact. A lot more than others.
physical contact, just having someone tap you on the shoulder. A smile. A friendly voice. Words of concern. kind words. I mean, sometimes going out even if you don't see anyone to talk to just send a little baby eat an ice lolly or something. Just seeing the big smile and the little, little child's face or seeing a little dog.
How cute little dog tail wakelin give you something that perhaps you're not getting. But when I talk about needs, one needs are not being fulfilled. there be something deeper. Because if you're if you're unhappy, in whatever situation you're in. It needs to be looked at. It may be temporary. Everything is temporary but
it might need resolving. I had a job and I tried to stay with the job even though the panic started in 2002 was really bad. For a long time it seemed eventually at the end of 2003 I quit the job.
Because I couldn't do any more, I couldn't face going in there. So I lost my income lost friends that I had at the job because I didn't see them anymore.
But I think it was the right thing to do. Because of the level of unhappiness that I was getting to, when I was there
was too much. Now my needs were not being met, leaving the job didn't, it didn't necessarily give me the needs that I needed, didn't fill that gap.
But it reduced the pain, reduced emotional pain, which is what I needed. Almost like you know, when people have a boy have a spot and they pop it, and I just feel the the release, it's almost like they're
not comparing my job to Boyle. So what needs are not being met. And I would say we've all got needs, unmet needs.
From an angle of happiness, from an angle of anxiety, stress, panic, because if you're happy, and all your needs to be met, there wouldn't be any anxiety, not a level of illness. That wouldn't be the level of depression. And of course, going back to genetics, the brain environment, the past, all those things have an influence on
our mental states. So with my of my situation, I would probably attribute every, all of those to my situation,
the past, childhood and all that stuff. But also say genetics based on what I know about the family, and was seen with other members. So it is that genetic, I'm not the only one that has had problems. And then environmental, which you can kind of say is part of the past as well. But current environmental, that's something that can be changed. When we make any changes, this isn't just me saying this, this is scientifically proven stuff. Our brains change. Our brains are always changing. But our brains actually rewire. Our brains are elastic, in a sense of it has plasticity. I think that's the correct term. They're not in my head of elastic bands,
or plastic. But luckily not made of plastic because no one seems to like plastic these days have to be replaced with cardboard or something.
So we can't change the past. And the reason I talked about this is because we've not got anxiety for nothing. There's a reason for it. You know, it's not just it's not there for no reason. is sometimes feels like it can be there for no reason. And they can come on for no reason. I realize that. But it's not realistically you know that. I know that. anxiety, stress and In a mental health issue, which anxiety is stress is if it's causing problems, normal levels of anxiety and stress. It's not a mental health issue. But what normal for one person, a normal level, maybe different for someone else. Thinking back to when I first started having the extreme anxiety, I almost felt like a layer of my skin had been removed.
There's that level of sensitivity that things didn't seem to bother me or were able to even touch me before suddenly had an effect
of is hypersensitive. You know, if I'd be walking down a town, and someone just didn't just normally in some would walk a little bit too close to me, that made me jump. That's not how I am as a person. I'm not a timid, I'm not walking around. Worried about people generally, will have done, but is a kind of rule in my life, a normal, my kind of normal state would be someone to up be aware of what's around me.
Of course, if someone starts running towards me, I might be on guard obviously. I'd be jumping, I'd actually legit physically jump. I will be jumping up and down. But I would it would make me almost like having physical hiccups.
And I was awful. So that level of anxiety and stress that is a
mental health issue. And that's where I think some people get a little bit
confused or show perhaps I don't mean to but they show disrespect towards people. Ill because everybody gets stressed and everybody has anxiety at some point. But it's different gains, you know, having having some anxiety before your wedding day. Before you you know, or when you go to collect your diploma for your degree. And you gotta get on stage and collected or doing the best man speech at a wedding or you know, whatever do an oral exam at school. That can be anxiety and stress in inducing. That's normal. I would say for everybody. surgeons, doctors, fire fire people, you know, Fire Service, people in the army people. The first time they did something that they're trained to do. Guaranteed they were anxious and nervous. The first time a surgeon did an operation on their own. The first time a pilot flew a plane with someone on their own, they usually got some wisdom, but the first time they actually took off and were in control that plane. They lie and if they say they weren't anxious and nervous, and a bit stressed about it because human nature to be if they were the level of mental illness, the level of have in you know, acute anxiety. It would be dangerous for them to be in charge of a plane. So there's a big line. Big difference. And some people don't. I don't think they kind of understand that. Because everybody's had anxiety and stress. And you know, some people fell ill Pre stress, but they don't have an illness. They just had it at that time had an exam coming up, dry, often known people that had driving tests for the driving licence and felt physically sick bundle of nerves soon as they got the test over and done with got that marked and ticked off and, you know, successfully got their license. Or even if they failed at the end of it, though relaxed again. Once they've done it, they were fine. And of course, if they passed, they were happy. The fact that no, someone that failed, and they were happy, just to have done it, and that glad it was over. That's natural, to stress and anxiety is natural not. And sometimes people talk about in books as if, why anxiety is normal, but small levels of stress. Non large levels of stress and anxiety is natural as well. But not prolonged, not for long periods of time. mop can talk about personal, private things, kind of a member of my family was going back and forth to hospital for his daughter last year. I know and his work in trying to hold down a job and just got a new house and mortgage. I know that it was under huge amounts of anxiety and stress, huge amounts more than me. And I don't say that as law. I've got a lot going on. But he was under more stress, then I personally I can't imagine having dealt with it. You know, I can't imagine how hard it would to have to dealt with what he dealt with. But he did.
His level of stress may have been higher than mine has ever been. ever in my life. I don't know that he dealt with it. I don't know how he dealt with it. But he's got you know, he dealt with it. But some people are able to cope or trying to put it in a nice way. So it doesn't sound demeaning to people that can't like I'm taller than myself that
it's almost like it's putting someone down saying, Oh, you can't cope with that. There's nothing wrong with not being able to deal with something. And not being able to cope with something. We're not superhuman. I cannot kind of almost feel I want to put myself down. Because I can't because I didn't cope as well as perhaps I could have done in the situations I've been in Bolton earlier probably coped as well. And you probably have as well, he coped as well as you're able to, with the knowledge you had with the skills you had at the time. And we're still here. So I know that I'd go off on a tangent, I understand that. I'm coming back to the subject of what is it that you need in your life doesn't have to be what you need, what do you need to change. So it's not a case necessarily of taking something away with me. I felt I needed to give something up, which was the job I had. And it's not the only job that I've given up due to stress and anxiety.
But it was the first one that I always was really good at that job. That's probably the only job that I was really really good at
sort of as an adult was quite good at paper rounds when I was a kid. But it was something that I was really. And I had respect from the people around me and for what I did, maybe not as a person, I don't know. But as for the job that I did, so I gave up something very important to me. Something that I didn't want to give up. Because I didn't, I couldn't see any other way. I couldn't find it was almost like I was running away. But at the same time, I was thinking clearly, because I didn't want to get laid off or didn't want to get sacked. I didn't want to go and have long, long, long periods of illness. And, and then, you know, eventually just leave. I had, I felt signed off for a month by my doctor. And I'd stayed or going in regularly. I've had some time off in two fell into 2002, beginning of 2003. But then I got all the way through to November. And then the doctor gave me a month's notice months off. And I used that as one. Notice I just said don't give him a month's notice. And I won't be in.
And I do kind of regret it. I still regret it a bit. By the time I didn't look at why needed. I looked at why didn't need. I didn't need to be in an environment where I was under stress. And because I was good or why did I'm not blowing my own trumpet. But I was I was good. Why did so I was given responsibility to look after other people. And to help train other people up a little bit and which I enjoyed. And I relish that. Yeah, I kind of guess I couldn't cope with it. But I didn't dress what I needed. I addressed what I didn't need which was the stress and anxiety. Those buttons being pushed. So I dropped it dropped the job got rid of it. Go look part time job. And I ended up getting into debt. Which I ended up eventually going bankrupt in 2006. So I'm not saying get rid of your job. I'm not saying get rid of anything. One wondering why I'm inquiring into is what what in your life? Are you not getting that you need? If you think about it, like a diet, like dietary situation. We all need certain vitamins. I could probably benefit from it becoming fi but even fibbin d i think or maybe vitamin C? Because I don't go out enough during the day.
So that would be an example in a sense of what's lacking so in your life What's that one thing and it doesn't have to be just one but as an example, what's that and go one thing to make a
big difference to your life that you can incorporate. So for me, I learned to meditate and it took me a while to really Embrace it, it took a while. And it helped, really did help. And because I was going to a Buddhist center, I got to meet people do go into the meditation, got to make some friends and added something to my life that I didn't have before. Didn't have a social life before. Not one that didn't involve alcohol. Some around these Buddhists and non Well, most of them weren't drinking alcohol. So it was, it was a different environment is like a healthy, quite healthy environment for me to be around. And they were very relaxed. Which is also going back to the environment that you're in now. Because our environment affects us, the people that were around affects us. So if you're around angry people, around stressed people, even if they're fine, physically and mentally fine, they're not ill in any way that just happened to be, for whatever reason, very angry, very aggressive, verbally stressed living a very kind of chaotic lifestyle. were affected by those people we're about, we're around, we're affected by them. You see, so once a week, probably not going to be too affected by them. As much as if you're around them every day. Or even more if you're living with them. And also, they're going to be affected by us. So if we're reacting to them, by being stressed, they're just gonna get even more stressed. And angry, perhaps.
So what's missing? And I know some people will listen to this might say the word, money. I'm missing money, because money would be the solution to all my problems. And I would, I would say that anybody that has never thought that is lying. Anyone that says to the devil for that big injection of cash, would be the solution to all the problems. We've all thought they're one time at least
afford that probably 1000s of times. I still do kind of feel that it would be definitely be a help. I can't hurt someone's suddenly gave you 100,000 pounds or under $1,000. It opens up possibilities. But I don't have that option for you. I can't give $100,000 to everybody. I wish I could
switch the case looking. What else is there? What other things of course you can make the money, you could decide to devote your energy into making money and stuff like that.
And then I got to thinking because I do think about these recordings before I make them.
It might not seem like it when I wobble on and off of the subject. And also realized I do talk about myself possibly too much. But I'm gonna continue to do that. So sorry about that. I'm not sorry. I use myself as an example. Because I can't use use an example because I don't know your situation. I could, if you contact me With your story or with some questions, go to my website, contact me, I'm happy to stay including those of you that listen and maybe give some thought, some ideas to a question that you may pose or use your stories and example, your success story. So that way, you don't have to listen about me all the time. But was thinking someone said to me the other day, a very, very, like a friend was very down. And it all fell, I can't guess I can't go into details. But he's got very damn good reason to feel down
is some really extreme stuff happening at the moment. So I can't be a counselor to a friend. Because it's a different relationship. I can listen. But there was one thing that he said that he had nothing that he didn't feel the there was any point, my point Gao bed, no is nothing and
no purpose in life, generally. And a certain, I don't feel that way. I think it was more like a generalized state, a generalized comment that life is, you know, like, life is crap, and nice, pointless. And there's no point to all and so instead of saying to him, you know, things will be better, which they will instead of saying the this is just temporary, which is
I just kind of fall. Well. As I said to my turn, I don't feel that way. Sometimes I do. But not all the time, nor on a general the general situation. I've got this podcast videos, the website is free service that I've been offering since 2006. I've got this something that I built and created myself.
And it gives me purpose. And it's not for everybody. You know, not everybody's going to want to talk into a microphone is probably like this, some people would be pointless. What? Why would I want to do that?
What's the point in that it's just boring. It's not exactly a rock concert is it? I'm not a rock star, not living the life not got groupies or anything. But you know what it does give gives my life purpose. And before I did this, I never had purpose before. So it wasn't till I was 35 and a half years old until I had purpose. I kind of knew I wanted when I was in my 20s I was very interested in comedy, or got involved in comedy for quite a while when I hit 30 just before 30 really interested in websites and building websites. When I was 27 I became interested in hypnosis and NLP and all that stuff. But didn't have didn't know what I wanted to do with it. Until I was 35 and then this started and I have a purpose. It's not showing off, or bragging, it's just, it's really important that we all find our purpose. And it's not like I'm saying, I was born to do this. Just saying, I've got a purpose, I've got something that's meaningful to me. The most meaningful thing to me is this, making these recordings and helping people and I don't get a lot of feedback. But I've gotten a letter or got an email today. from someone that listens to my let me bore you to sleep podcasts. And it was beautiful. What she wrote absolutely beautiful. And it just brightened my whole day up. And that sense of purpose increased. So I think, even with, you've now been diagnosed with bipolar, and emotionally unstable personality disorder thing. After I started this was in 2011. After I got a degree in counseling, still had a purpose, I still had issues of anxiety, I still had issues with stress, I still have mood swings, extreme mood swings, sometimes really extreme by still have a purpose. It's like that ground, the ground works being done the contrast field, the name for that is called the groundwork isn't it for building the support, I've got the support there. I've got the reason. We all need to have a reason. Reason something. It's almost like it's a handle to hold on to. Sometimes I've really got to hold on to it very tightly. And sometimes I can't even get to hold on to it. By just remember, it's there. And then my flag go in the laptop. That's what it's there for. It's there for me to work on the podcasts. The phone itself, the you know, to work on a podcast, everything the chair, that's where I'll sit down and make podcasts. I've got books on bookshelves, all that stuff I will use at some point too, to contribute towards podcasts, recordings that hopefully help people and I know that I'm going on about myself. But the reason for it is just to kind of try and put over or express how beneficial I find what I do is to me as far as having a purpose. Having and this is just the purpose is a life purpose. Something that I'm going to spend the rest of my life doing
long as I can. And on a bad day. I don't appreciate it. barn a good day, or even an average day. It can feel really nice. Just to look at the stats see that I've had 3000 downloads or whatever for the day. Maybe had a message for ooh seeing people are going to the website. Knowing that
you know, pretty much every minute of every day someone is listening to me around the world. And I just I hope that those people are benefiting the you are benefiting. It's just a bunch of words. It's just ideas. It's
that stuff sinks in. And I've had criticism over the years, sometimes from hitting the therapists and hypnotists saying, it's not real hypnosis, what you do, because they think I should be counting people down, walking,
measured walking down stairs, and, you know, kind of do what transy stuff. But I'm not trying to this is different. It's very different style. This is suggestions of ideas that you can get emotionally involved with. And actually, the more you listen to, hopefully positive things on saying the more powerful the message is, and more transformational it becomes.
Because this 15 minutes or hour, that you're listening to this, you could have been doing something else, you could have been watching the news, you're gonna have more benefit from listening to me, than you will watch in the news.
Because this, okay, you get to know what's going on in the world. So that's a benefit, obviously, in itself. But it's very, I mean, this is hardly anything in the way of positivity.
In the news, not a huge amount of positivity, on television at all, or in newspapers. So what this is, is it's separating, taking a step back from that stuff. Because everything that we listen to everything that we watch on telly, every conversation we have, has an effect. And the more often you hear something, the more of an effect it has.
on all of us, it's the same for all of us. So if you're listening to somebody telling you that you're going to be okay. Listen every day, and you're being told every day that you're going to be fine. You're going to
work through this, you're going to find a way around the obstacles going to be well, and you're going to be happy because you deserve to be happy. And you're going to find ways to be kind to yourself,
you're going to start looking forward to the future. The future that you create in your own mind. That's all the future is is just creativity. That's all it is, is what's in our mind. So if you know if you got a job interview in 10 days time, or you've got date, a date with someone in 10 days time, you can spend the next day 10 days imagining a guy really bad. We can spend 10 days imagining it going really
well. not technically, I would say evil way. It's gonna go how it goes. So if it goes really bad, or it goes really well, you deal with it on the day. But before that you've had 10 days of feeling really good. Or if you choose 10 days of feeling shitty. It's a choice however, The reality added onto that is, if you spend 10 days imagining again, terribly, there's a really big chance it will go terrible. Because that's what you programmed into your mind. That's what you're programmed in to do.
You have almost been rehearsing. For it to go wrong. If you spend 10 days prior to going on that day, or going to that interview, imagining they go really well, feeling really confident,
having all the answers, you know, the quick witted, just feeling wonderful. I don't know what the percentage is, the chances of that being a much more enjoyable experience for you. But it will be guaranteed a much more enjoyable experience for you and the other person. As opposed to, if you'd spent 10 days imagining the worst. Because it's going to be crappy for you, it's probably not going to be a very nice experience for the other person either. Possibly. But either way, if you spend 10 days, imagining the future, it's going to be lovely, and really brilliant. It's gonna be better than what it would be, if you'd imagined it was going to be crappy. Guaranteed, always doesn't mean it's going to be exactly how you imagined it's gonna be. Because we don't know what something's gonna be like. We don't know what it's gonna be like to win the lottery until you've won the lottery. No one knows what it's gonna be like. What's it gonna feel like to walk down the aisle and be married? And to actually do it, we can imagine. Or we like, the guaranteed is going to be a lot more pleasurable. If you imagine it's going to be pleasurable.
So listening to these recordings, gives you an opportunity to actually take a step back from that overthinking and to realize that you do have choices. You really do. And you've chosen to listen to me waffle on for an hour. As if you haven't fallen asleep. Hopefully you haven't. That's why I always say the beginning only listen, when you can safely Close your eyes.
Because I do tend to fall asleep when I listen to people talk. It
doesn't always go down when it work, but so what is it that you need in your life? Which was the original question what need is required, what need or needs are not being met currently.
might possibly very much will require taking action of some kind. Because, you know, I'd quite like to have a girlfriend. But I'm not going to meet anyone sitting in here, staying in my home. So if I actually want to really wanted to date someone and have a relationship, I'm going to have to leave my home at some point. So there's some things they won't happen without action. Which I think is quite good, really, in a way.
Also, always trying to think about how someone who's listening to this, how you may be thinking, or you may be feeling questions, you may have statements you might be saying.
And things like, well, you don't know what it feels like to be me. You're right, I don't. No one knows what it feels like to be another person.
We don't know. It's one of those things that humans say to each other. I know how you feel. Now you don't. You don't know how anyone feels. You know how perhaps you felt when you went through a similar experience, you perhaps know how you feel Now, imagine how they are feeling now. So basically, you just tell him that he care. Sometimes it feels like just telling someone I really care. Doesn't seem like enough. kind of need to say, I know how you feel. Now you don't. None of us do. Often, that's quite good, though. So most nice to know that we're all unique. Because if we were all the same, then we you know, depending on who the blueprint was based on, there wouldn't be any anxiety disorders. If we were all able to, or have that ability for things to bounce off of us. Or we could all be angry. If the blueprint was from someone that was angry, constantly, always complaining, always blaming the world for everything was blaming outside for what's happening inside, when outside is not responsible for how you feel.
What I really want or hope for, from this particular podcast is to say that I know what it was like for me or is like for me to suffer with. And to try and deal with and not always do a very good job of sometimes do quite a good job
with mental illness, mental ill health ongoing without giving up. Never ever giving up on myself, never. And a kind of, it's not my place to want anything for you.
But I can hope that you also can be in that position and are in a position if not yet. We'll be in that position of never, ever give up on yourself ever. always trust
that things will be okay. Always eventually and Probably is going to take action and energy and focus and find in a purpose, your purpose, and you may have one listen to this
may have a purpose that they that you know is just the reason, you know the most important thing, something that is bigger than you when you're helping other people. And there's more I can say on that. Bow, we'll leave it for today cuz I probably talked for even longer than normal. So the two things I'd mentioned, there are two things that I would suggest. First of all,
look at what needs are not currently being met. Maybe Look at this, you know, discuss in your mind, maybe get a piece of paper, write down what's lacking from your life, whether it's human contact, whether it's they could be anything, could be absolutely anything. Maybe you use and you're sitting in a chair, that's uncomfortable. And you're putting off getting a new chair or replacing it. And perhaps you can replace it, you can afford to replace it,
but you're putting it off. And you're kind of suffering sitting there. And it's you know, not doing your back any good. That's just an example. I like to say that because I know that that could be way off for your situation. Maybe you look again, a different chair. If your shoes have got holes in them, you kind of need to get some nice shoes. That's obvious stuff. So there might be something that's bugging you, you don't even is so used to it, you don't you don't take notice of it anymore. But if you were to make that change could be decorating the room, redecorating it, it could be putting away stuff that you don't want to look at anymore. Could be buying some books. Starting a new hobby, maybe starting a hobby that you've always secretly wanted to do, or going back and restarting something you used to love, and you stopped doing it for whatever reason.
So I'm gonna leave you with these, those thoughts. And if you'd like to tell me your story, and include how listening to me has been useful, then please contact me go to my website, send an email, you can send me a blog post you can. There's a form that you can fill in and just send it and I can include you in your story. And I can answer questions if you've got them in a recording. So I'm going to go Thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love. Bye

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