#54 Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety & Panic Attacks (Jason Newland) (13th September 2019)

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Hello, and welcome to Jason newland.com. This is relaxation, hypnosis for stress, anxiety and panic attacks. My name is Jason Newland, please only listen to this, when you can safely Close your eyes. Now, this recording is going to be a bit different from previous ones. So kind of have a little warning, but just to let you know, at the start, just in case you might not want to listen to it. I'm going to discuss an event that happened this week, few days ago, where when my anxiety was very high. And I'm kind of going to discuss why what I didn't do that I could have done. How I didn't cope with it very well. So it's it is kind of the opposite in some ways to what I talk about normally, but at the same time showing that I'm just a human being like yourself, and that I actually, although I've got it under control a lot of the time. And occasionally I get really affected by the anxiety. Software talk about this, again, if this is triggering in any way, or if it's something you'd still want to hear, or is not something you won't find useful, perhaps, then I understand and
just click the off button. And I'm going to explore why could have done. And I've been thinking about it for a few days. This happened on Tuesday, and it's now Friday.
So an a few things. We mentioned in a few thoughts about mental health and anxiety and people's perception of it, especially professional people, studios, those in the mental health sector, perhaps as well as people that are there to help. They have maybe no knowledge of mental health, but are still helping people with mental health issues. Say, for example, Citizens Advice Bureau, or maybe charities that help with homeless people or support workers that just generally, you know, help anyone that you know, kind of general support worker. So I'm just kind of thinking it'd be useful for those people to have as a bit more knowledge, but then it's, you know, it's such an individual thing, but anyway, so um, I'll just start from the start. And as I said, it's not it's not really any therapy or hypnosis, but it is a might be useful to somebody. And I've really thought about whether or not to make this recording because I don't want to seem like I'm just coming on here to have a moan. Cuz that's not what I intend to do. I kind of want to have a moan if I'm honest. One loan, a good old moan about it. But that's not what I'm going to do. I'll give some of the facts. And I'll tell you how I was feeling. So nn is something you may relate to, it's involved in benefits, it's involved in the P IP, Pip, personal independence payments, for those of you in England, that may be dealing with that again, so that's money going to come from my perspective. Hey, guys, so that's what I'm gonna be talking about. In the next half an hour or however long. I say half an hour. But if you've listened to me before, I do have a tendency of talking efa and Fr. So here's, here's the beginning of the story. Three weeks ago, I received a letter from the PIP, which is the benefit agency place with a form telling me that I needed to do a change of circumstances form, fill it in and have it in by the other 14, no, 12 of September, which was yesterday. And so I've had a few weeks to kind of, it wasn't even three, it was the end of August. So it wasn't even three weeks ago, probably two weeks ago. And I went to the Citizens Advice Bureau. So I've got this form on a Saturday, the Monday went to the citizen advice. And for those that don't know, what it is, is basically it's it's a charity, that do you get funded by the government. And they you can go there with any most issues with legal, whether it's, you know, whatever is benefits. And they can have an advocate, and they can help to fill forms in and they can help to signpost for you in touch with someone else that can help. So I've been I've used them quite a few times, since I was probably 17 over yourself over the years. And the really good.
Two really brilliant service to have, it's free to use. So I'll make the appointment. And when I went in there first order said, Oh, we don't make appointments anymore. I said, but this is for the PIP form to be filled in. I had an appointment last time two years ago. And she said, Oh, yeah, we do make appointments for the platform. Which again, is I think it's I try not to criticize them. But I'm gonna because their first response to kind of make an appointment is no, you have to come in in the morning. Not ask him what the appointments for not asking not giving the person an opportunity to say I just happened to be quite forceful in a sense of telling them that I wanted an appointment. And reason I wanted it because I knew I couldn't just turn up in the morning and expect someone to spend two hours with me fill in the format. So and I saw them on this Tuesdays say the same thing to somebody else. They came in said can I make an appointment please note you have to come in in the morning at nine o'clock or 930. So that person might have had a form. So they would come in and then be told all you have to make you have to make an appointment for you. So yeah, I think some of the ways of operating is not great, but again, that's just me being critical.
So Andres just appeared out of nowhere. So I go in there, Kay, I go in Now I've got the appointment. So this is time for me on reflection, to prepare myself mentally for going in there. Because
I've filled in forms before with them the last homes two years ago, and I filled in a couple of other forms at different places as well, for benefits, and it's it's not something that I enjoy doing. I can't imagine anyone like loves doing it is something that raises my anxiety level. Very, very high. Indeed, very. So I knew I knew to prepare. Yeah, I didn't prepare, not in the way that would have been more useful to me. Excuse the background sounds as Andre climbing through his little tube.
He's just doing his thing. So I fought up, relax the weekend, relax. And not really think about it. By was thinking about it. It was almost like, underneath. I was thinking about it without consciously thinking about it. Which is a weird, kind of a weird thing.
And the Monday my friend asked me if I'd look after his dog on a Monday. And I said, Yes. She said, No. Because I needed the day to prepare for the Tuesday, needs to get myself ready. But I didn't think of myself I didn't put myself first. And this is a form that I fill in every two years. It's not like it's a regular thing.
So I ended up getting pretty much no sleep. Because I knew I needed to be up in the morning in order to have the dog and then he didn't end up eating and end up getting up. So I ended up didn't end up having the dog. So I was waiting around for hours. And technically, that's got nothing to do with Tuesday didn't spend the day doing what I could have been doing and as preparing. I don't mean spend your day meditating, or anything like that. But just maybe being a bit nice to myself, maybe being a bit trying to get a bit more relaxed. Rehearse in the day ahead. Imagining you know waking up feeling relaxed, feeling positive, feeling calm, rehearsing, get on the bus going into the, to the you know, to the place I was going, sitting down, going through the process of filling the form with the lady dolls with a feeling relaxed throughout that situation. And it lasted for about three hours, the form fill in. And I realized it was gonna take that long. And I just I didn't use the time before in a constructive way. In a preparatory that's the right word way. So that's one thinking. Now, in hindsight, I know. People say that hindsight and stuff is useful for future lives. I'm in. So what I could have done on the bus, traveling to town on that Tuesday morning, again, is feel relaxed, get myself calm, and rehearse in my mind going through the whole experience, and then we wind in back to sit in on a bus and go through that maybe even in quick motion. And do that a few times. Because that would have taken away the anxiety of the thought of doing it. Because I would have separated myself from it. It's, it's kind of a phobia. technique I could have, I could have imagined myself, sitting there in a clown outfit. Or mentioned, whoever was sitting there doing it for me wearing roller skates, and a big disco costume with flashing lights. I mean, I could have anything to take in the edge off of that anxiety that I was feeling. Be honest, on the journey, there wasn't feeling the anxiety, or I wasn't as aware of it. It was almost like I was separate from separate from how I was really feeling almost like I was pushing away, didn't want to experience it didn't want to feel it. Why would anybody want to feel it? Why would anybody want to experience an uncomfortable feeling. But by pushing away, it makes us stronger. So that's not useful in an emergency situation,
because it's very useful. You know, you need to get on and do what you need to do, and then
allow yourself to feel it afterwards. This wasn't an emergency situation. or sitting on a bus traveling there. And the feeling I had really at that time was dread. As I was walking towards the place, it was more I gotta do this, I got to do this. And I knew how to do it, get the form filled, and send it off, go to the post office, pay for it to be delivered, or needed to do it today, you know, on that Tuesday, it all need to be done. And on top of that I had three other letters from two different people that I was posting as well. So again, I took on other people's stuff
by choice. When I should have said perhaps no. or shouldn't have done no not shouldn't have but maybe
perhaps should have been a bit selfish for that day. Because last week, I decided that this coming week was going to be all about the platform. Which possibly wasn't a good idea really because maybe I built up a bit too much. Gave it too much energy too much power over me.
But the and then other people asked me to do things. And I generally say yes. So that's a separate thing that perhaps I need to look at but you might be in a similar situation
where you really need to focus on yourself. Andres now tried to rip the soundproofing off the wall, which is kind of ironic really, so got soundproofing there to stop background sounds. Yeah, I got a ferret, making background sounds by trying to rip the soundproofing off the wall, which is there to stop. background sounds a bit of a weird irony there. So my anxiety levels were just growing as I walked into the place but I was I was holding it together for my most important thing is to be friendly to the people that I meet, because they're helping me out. So I go in there, I got in it early. And it's five past one. The pointer was half past one.
So I got seen the lady came out a half past one.
And she said, took me into the room. Yeah, the lady came in took me into a room
The first thing she said to me was, it's been a terrible day. And should I make the point in for earlier one o'clock or something because it's gonna take ages to do this. And I don't like traveling home in the dark. She didn't hear it listen to everything she said. And I said to her Well, I was here if I pass one he would always having a sandwich then I can't realize then that whatever I said she was gonna backtrack contradict herself and just saw fortnight she's helping me go just my anxiety was raising, it was increasing. And I almost felt naked in a sense of it didn't have any protection. I've got techniques, I've got different things I can use, and have used for years and years. Since you know, buffer stress and stuff since the late 90s. So I've been using ways of dealing with something in the moment. This was new because although the fill in the form in I've done before, I hadn't done it was someone that was that awkward, who's making it I need I might sound weird, I almost needed someone to be really gentle with me. That's how I felt. I felt so vulnerable for a variety of reasons. One was because of the anxiety and not one because of the financial aspect because it's this form is so important. And if it's not done correctly, I could lose 220 pounds a month, which is gonna lead me in trouble. And also, I know that some of the questions on there are very, very personal things about hygiene thing, you know, just didn't feel comfortable that I wouldn't feel comfortable discussing that level, that detailed level of those subjects with anybody. But it was I think it would have been easier had the person being really gentle with me. So by the way, that's my big black squeaky chair that squeaking in the background.
So he went those the anxiety accelerated in and I almost went into a panicky feeling because they didn't have the previous form from two years ago, which is what I needed in order to help me to fill a form in And they said it was archived, and they couldn't get it back and personal archives, it's on holiday. And there was a point where I nearly walked out. Partly because I needed to, I could feel anxiety attack coming on. It was it hadn't happened yet. And it didn't happen. But I felt like it might. And always in the fight or flight situation. And I definitely couldn't find because I was a little bit wide, one might say. And in the end, you kind of didn't literally have to bite my tongue, but really had to hold one, keep it in. Because this various different levels of rudeness happened a little bit throughout. And sometimes it's kind of improved, as it got obviously got further on as in shoes bit more gentle. And as long as I just answered the questions and was did was told. And as the time went on, unfortunately, due to be in in there at that level of anxiety for such a long period of time. And it was nearly three hours. I just found myself drained, drained was draining me so much. And I just wanted to kind of climb under the, under the table and scatter sleep. And just you know, and I hadn't felt that way for quite a long time. Probably the last time I felt that that level was when I was working before I got really ill a few years ago. been ill a few times. But this was a job I had and I ended up losing a job over it. But that's kind of at the level I was at, but kept going. Because I knew how important it was. And it all it felt like a marathon. I've never done a marathon. Physically, I wouldn't be able to do that without a lot of training.
But mentally I felt exhausted. After the event, I thought well what could I have done to prepare myself for the exhaustion
and I suppose is breaking up how much of the exhaustion was because of the anxiety and the toll it was taking on my body and on my mental health at that time. I how much of it was just through the tediousness or repetitiveness all the just the unpleasant experience of spending three hours filling a form in I imagined even the most well adjusted completely, wonderfully healthy and every aspect person. If there is such a person would possibly have found it. draining. So then it's kind of trying to judge like, oh, how much of this? Do I need to know how much of it is anxiety and how much of it is just natural. But then it's all natural, isn't it?
Because I'm a human being. And it's something that perhaps we all need to remind ourselves of. We are still which is human
And if we deal with anxiety at times, doesn't make us any less human, some could argue makes us more human because we're in touch with how we're feeling. I mean, last week, a friend of mine that I hadn't seen for a couple of years, he told me that he'd been diagnosed with bipolar, and wanted to kind of pick my brain because of I've got bipolar and, and he wasn't so much asking for advice, but I decided to give him one bit of advice. Because he was talking about how he's feeling how he kind of felt different and, and I said to him, just reminded him that I said to him, you know, what, you're still the same person. You were, before you got diagnosed, that person that walked into that office, that doctor's surgery, or you know, the psychiatrist or whatever, before your diagnosis, and after your diagnosis, you're still the same person who's not, you're a different person, now. Still, you, you got this condition, this illness, whatever you want to label it, but you still you. And I had a similar thing is, suddenly this diagnosis, and always seeing myself differently, perceiving myself differently. When I had the panic started really bad in 2002. November, I fought, my brain was damaged. Or there's something really wrong with me. Did I have, you know, some kind of brain injury, but you know, maybe a blood clot or brain cancer, or, you know, my brain fog went all over the place was like, going crazy. That's how I felt at the time.
And so that I think it's important to remember that which is human. And these feelings, and the reason we feel is because we're human.
And, of course, we want to change those feelings. But at the same time, try not to give yourself I'm just gonna try not to give myself too much of a hard time. because technically, I didn't practice what I preach. And I like to think I don't preach anything. I'm not preacher. But, or didn't follow my own advice.
I didn't think I needed to. Is that cocky? It's probably quite cocky of me. Maybe arrogant, even, I don't know. I just honestly didn't realize that my reaction was going to be so strong. When I was in that office, going through that process of the form filling,
it did not prepare for that. In fact, for no news going to be like that, you know, beforehand, I would have canceled and rearranged it for a different day, or maybe arrange for someone else to go with me, you know, or ask for someone else to do the form. And although it was very thorough the way it was done, and and then when I get back now afterwards, I'm thinking is it I'm not just wanting to put the blame onto someone else for how I was feeling. Because this lady was doing this is helping me and I think she liked me the end. We will get along quite well at the end. And it's a relief. I think, just it was finished. We were both relieved. And maybe I kind of got in touch with that, again, another human and natural human behavior, which is to feel the need to blame somebody, which is never helpful.
especially knowing ourselves. So I just, I sat there did the three hours that I had to go or didn't have to, but I kind of did needed to go and get the letters posted.
And the person in the post office was miserable. Because other than that, how much of that was me, my energy was maybe having an effect on the people that I was around, that I was talking to,
when I go home, eventually waited about half an hour for a bus. And I could struggle to walk from the bus stop to where I lived. And I thought in my head, all I got to do is get back on at some hot cross buns or some tea cakes, toaster tea cakes, I have a can of Coke, or chill out or just watch Telly sit in the chair and just I'll be fine. I'll just wind down. I was wrong. I had the tea cakes, opened a can of Coke. And I felt the stress levels were still really, really really high. Really high. I was I couldn't understand because I was out of the situation now.
Usually, these days it's almost like Lin Vieira have a balloon really slowly just it just releases
but couldn't function. And again, I'm embarrassed to say this. Because as some of these have mentioned before, I've got my diagnosis is bipolar affective disorder with unstable personality. For and purse, unstable personality disorder traits. So how much that is to do with that condition, you know, blah, blah, blah, but I could not function could not function. And I suppose part of one saying is that's okay.
It's kind of okay. Because that is just the reality at the time. It didn't last for a long time. And my only thing that I could do with the only thing I wanted to do was to go and lay down which is what I did. I lay down I think I had a headache as well. Which wasn't surprising, really, with the tension. And I just eaten because I didn't know I was gonna be laying down. So I felt physically uncomfortable. barking Gallaudet, I just I was just there. It was like a magnet, you know, makes to commit to the bed. And this was a half, six in the afternoon or an evening and I did fall asleep at 930 I woke up and I felt so much better. So much more relaxed than I was before. And so from that angle, The end of it I did what I needed to do, I needed to lay down and go to sleep which is something that I know works for me when it comes to now that these days didn't always work for me but I've always found with anxiety stress or really low moods sometimes going to bed as the only thing that helps is just sleep through it. But again, it's a personal thing we've all got our own different ways some people may find going to the gym would be more useful. Some people may find talking to a friend or family member or just having a cuddle you know with your kid so who whatever it is spending time with the loved one some people might find watching television or movie would be a good way to wind down well above for me is I just needed basically just collapsed into bed. And it say collapsed. It wasn't quite that dramatic. I didn't swoon and just faint onto the bed. I just lay down there was no drama involved. No violence required. So that Paul, I'm okay with in a sense of, I've had to do that many times. But what could I have done to prepare for the actual anxiety that I experienced? Because I did say that I didn't expect it to be that bad. But I did expect to feel anxious.
By expected Yeah, I did nothing to prepare. And I'm not sure why. I do actually I think I do know why. I didn't give myself time to prepare. I woke up late. I ended up running for the bus.
And I didn't give myself time to prepare. I didn't give myself space to do things slowly. Preparing for as in having a slow barf. Having eat my breakfast slowly. Having a cup of coffee perhaps cup of coffee wasn't a good idea.
If I'm not sure if I had one perhaps it could have taken an extra hour or two. Took a slow walk to the bus stop. Then on the journey on the bus we rehearsed, rehearsed what was going to happen. Made a bit silly of a humorous go in touch with feelings of positivity and gratitude. Focusing on one baby folk focusing on it being really
positive experience. Because I don't know how much of what I brought to the table affected the interactions. I'll be honest, I don't know. I don't know if my anxiety when I met the lady affected the way that she dealt with me and it may one of them and her anxiety or her stress for the difficult day that she told me she'd had increased or affected My anxiety affected triggered me to be even more
so I guess really I suppose in a sense will go out this is to say that it's okay to have a bad day it's okay because in the past I might have took that as a defeat um I have taken that as a as a signal to quit
Oh as you know I might have fought about it afterwards and fought well
all this stuff that I'm doing this relaxation this figure of studied as just a pointless and I'll give up a quote I could have taken it like that and talk to myself in that negative way by having done that have not have not been saying oh well done to myself
apart from the not walking out but I'm pleased myself for not walking out I'm pleased myself for sticking there for not you know, for getting through it
I'm trying not to be too critical towards myself for my lack of preparation. So I guess it's okay to have a bad day. It doesn't mean that every other day is going to be bad doesn't mean you're give up on having good days. Because that would be that'd be cruel wouldn't be cruel thing to do to yourself
supposes finding the positives in it in the situation and also exploring ideas and possibilities have we could have done and perhaps how I will deal with a similar situation in the future.
So it's taken something learning something from this experience. Because I'll be honest, it took me by surprise. It really did. On news. That's the thing I in my mind, I knew was going to be difficult. So I already had that negativity in my mind before I even got there
instead of expecting it to be okay. expecting it to go well. Because I've been traveling on the bus expecting it to go well.
I would have arrived there with a much more positive attitude. A lot calmer, a lot more relaxed. And the likelihood is I would have dealt with it
with a lot more calmness. This was almost like I chose To feel the way I felt. And I know in the past, I would have said, we definitely would have said I had no, I had no control over the situation. And I feel this way because I feel this way. And it's nothing to do with me. And when actually we all affect our own emotions, and how we feel.
It's not about taking blame. It's about making changes fit of expected the process to go smoothly and easily, and to feel relaxed and calm throughout the whole situation,
I've got their audit been calm on the bus, I possibly would have been a lot more positive and friendlier to the lady that I saw, which meant that she may have been friendly at me in response, and the three hours, perhaps would have been a more relaxing experience than it was. And if I got home and felt drained and have to sleep for three hours, that wouldn't, I wouldn't be bothered by that. It was how I felt during the effect of me affected me the most, the anxiety levels during the process. Because at the end, when I got home, it was more as if I just been drained every bit of energy that I had.
Like I'd run out of petrol or diesel. Wherever you used call getting coal maybe. So it's okay to have a bad day, I think is my thought my outcome for this because I don't want to blame myself. I am willing to take responsibility without blame without criticism, without putting myself down without calling myself names. Without telling myself that i'll i'll just is a backward step or something I was saying to myself on the day, especially in the evening. How can I make recordings helping people with anxiety and panic attacks when I've just had one of the most anxious moments for a long time? And didn't really feel like I dealt with it particularly well.
How can I afford maybe transparency? I'll tell you, I'll tell a talk about what happened. And I know this, this podcast is really becoming quite popular. It's growing in popularity. And
I hope that those that do listen benefit. And I just felt that it was important to show my own foldability because anxiety and stress, as well as feeling wonderful and elated, or feeling angry, fitness, sad, bereavement
excitement. Just being a human being. Think is Freud. Freud said, Sigmund Freud, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Sometimes feelings of anxiety is perfectly natural. Doesn't mean it's going anywhere, doesn't mean it's a relapse doesn't mean it's gonna lead to you know, full blown panic attack doesn't mean necessarily anything. what it might mean is big will always does mean actually not my will always mean this, be kind to yourself. Whatever that entails, notice how you're feeling and do something about me, if I was back doing that thing again, on Wednesday, Tuesday, probably should have gone to the toilet, or just sit and need a couple of minutes. gone outside and got beer there had a glass of water or something like that. Sweating, I did nothing to help myself. Again, I'm trying not to say that in a critical way. So I was not being kind to myself, which is something for me to learn from. Without being cruel to myself, and putting myself down. Like then in a night you didn't do what you tell other people to do. You didn't you know, you didn't do with the anxiety, meaning it's, it's okay. To have a bad day. Just like it's okay to have a brilliant day. And I wish you a brilliant day today. And I'm going to end it here. So for those of you that listened to was Blimey, I've been talking for nearly an hour. For those of you that have been listening, thank you almost feel like I should just give this a title and put it in the self development podcast.
And it might be useful for people that don't know about this podcast, but I probably won't.
I hope this has been of use. And I'll speak to you very soon. Just remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love. Bye

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