Hello, and welcome to Jason Newland doe calm. My name is Jason Newland, this is relaxation, hypnosis for stress, anxiety, and panic attacks. Please only listen when you can safely Close your eyes.
And I'm going to be talking about trauma in this recording. So if you feel that it might not be something you want to
be listening to thinking about, then maybe just stop listening. Because I will be talking about trauma and possibly about my own some of my own bits and bobs, including. Now I'll be going into great detail about
anything as far as my own experiences, but guess what I'd give that little warning at the beginning. So a couple of things I've been thinking, which I just share with you. First of all, I just want to thank you for listening to this podcast. Thank you for listening and downloading these recordings. Because without you listening, there'd be no point in me making them. And another thing, reason why I make so many different recordings is because I suppose Firstly, that's how I work. I don't think everything can fit into one, half hour hour recording. When it's such a big subject as this, when everyone's so different. We all experience things differently in our own unique way. And although one recording is definitely better than no recordings. And, of course, there's people that are famous that do this stuff, and they sell them and they might just have like a one hour recording and it can be really valuable. My way of doing it is to try and maybe come at different angles. And those of you that listen to the other recordings that I do, you'll know that's on the Why do I like to
like to open it up, open up the subject. actually think about really give it some thought whilst I'm talking and to share some of my experiences. At the same time, some of those things may resonate within you. And some people might think, Well, why is it called hypnosis then if all you're doing is talking,
if you're not so counting me down and deepening me which a lot of hypnosis can be that, you know, get you to think of focus on each part of your
body and then you relax and then deepen, deepen that feeling by Avenue, walking down some steps, and feeling more relaxed with each step and giving you suggestions. And this is how you can feel when you wake up this Sagan to feel in the future
and encounter new back like 10 or one up to 10 that is a way of doing hypnosis, lots of different ways. Because ultimately, to me, hypnosis is is really just wrapping your mind around an idea which is the extra emotion that Milton Erickson gave us lots of different ways to do that. But ultimately, you're the one doing.
So, instead of me telling you what to do, or telling you what to think, which you don't need me to do, I offer suggestions and ideas that may be useful. And you can wrap your mind around those ideas. And the same ideas will be presented over and over again, in different ways, with different wording, at different times, on different recordings. That's how I work. And the aim is ultimately, for you. to benefit from this, and for your stress levels to reduce the anxiety levels to reduce panic attacks to reduce to the point, we no longer having them in a longer read and thinking about them.
So that you can feel more relaxed, and sleep better, feel physically healthier, feeling more positive, towards yourself, towards your life towards your future, and to not be so affected by the past. Something to become physically change, but not having the same response to it, or reaction to that you used to in the past, maybe. So there's a lot there to do in one recording, which is why I don't even attempt to try and do it in one record.
And everything I do fits in with the whole stress, anxiety and panic attacks. Because it's all connected. As far as I'm concerned, it's all connected. Because if someone has a panic attack, anxiety take, they might think, well, I wasn't stressed things were going really
well. Anxiety wasn't anxious, why they're heavy. Which is a fair enough question. There's someone that's had a few of them experiences huge amounts of anxiety. Not knowing when the next one's gonna come. Perhaps not knowing why it's happening. When I went to my doctor The first time I had a panic attack. He said there was a panic attack. I didn't
know what it was. And he said What did he call it? Oh yeah, after saw him a few times, because I had to keep going back every week to get sick note from a doctor's for the doctor for my work.
And he said it was trauma. He said it was trauma from the past. And he asked me a little bit about my past and
kind of made sense. Our new head issues about the past by didn't. I suppose I spent most of my life running away from it.
And not confronting it or not even allowing it to be there as kind of as a weird one. So true trauma can have a lot to do with anxiety, stress and panic.
Not just from well everything's In the past isn't obviously yesterday's in the past, but doesn't have to be from childhood. It could be something that happened last week or traumatic incident. And the reason why I feel I can talk about trauma to everyone that's listening is I can't imagine is one person listening to this that hasn't experienced trauma of some kind. I can't imagine I've never met anybody in my life that hasn't experienced trauma of some kind. And one thing I think is important is for it not to turn into competition. Because that that happened once I did a YouTube video talking about my childhood and the trauma I experienced, xR fall, it might be useful for people. And I don't know, if I've still got the audio, the video is gone, but I might have the audio of it somewhere. And I did another one about panic attacks,
my experiences of that as well. And one of my YouTube friends said, a throwaway line, as in Well, you didn't have as bad as me, to me, so he didn't have as bad as me.
And there was part of me wanted to argue it. Which would have turned into competition about who suffered the most, which is kind of really ridiculous.
It's a ridiculous thing to tell someone that they suffered less. Because we don't know how people experience things. To people can experience exactly the same thing. different results. One can just walk away, didn't bother him. Another person severely traumatized.
And there's no judgment in there. It is what it is. We're all different. We're all different. And I experienced that when I was counseling. And I noticed it cost counseling children and adults. And I realized that what we say to children really has an effect on them. Not just when they're little
all of you know any age. And how easily, so easily, but how something that someone else might not think is a particularly bad thing to say, could cause a lot of suffering for somebody. Yeah, at the same time. We can't go through life tiptoeing around everybody else, in case we say something that upsets them. So this is a weird one. It's, I've upset enough people over the years, no doubt, I've been upset by enough people or reacted to other people that may or may not have meant to cause that feelings within me. With this, talking about trauma, it can be whatever it is, whatever the traumatic experience from something. And there's a thing I don't know about you. And I do it myself. I try not to
try and catch myself. And I've even heard experts say the same thing. When they've been talking or lectures and, you know, there's a real sense of grading, grading levels of trauma. When actually, as I said a few minutes ago, it's about our reaction, our response mentally, emotionally, that has the is really the decider on whether or not Know what level of trauma that was.
And I'm not going to go into details about any traumatic experiences because we've all got our own stories. We've all got our own
things that have happened. I think when it comes to trauma, it's okay. It's okay to have it. It's okay to have these feelings. It's natural to have been affected by
it in the past, but you are not your trauma. dislike you are not your illness. I am not bipolar. I am bipolar. But I'm not. I am not the bipolar. That's not all I am.
If you're diabetes, diabetic, you're, you're weak. We'd call ourselves this time. I'm diabetic on knopper. Someone says, Yeah, I'm diabetic, as if somehow that's all they are. And they probably don't mean that when they say it. But their unconscious mind is listening to that. And I'm going back and I'll continuously go back to positive thinking. In a sense of what we say to ourselves, really, really has an effect really affects us. And you know, I mess around with some of the other recordings I do. The let me boys asleep ones, I just play around and I really say anything serious in that. This sentence, what you say to yourself, what you think affects you. What I think about affects me. What I say to myself affects me. Why tell other people about myself affects me. I've spent 30 I don't know how many years since I left school in 1986. All that time. I've been telling people that I'm rubbish at maths. I haven't spent all that time say I've done other things, but I must have said it so many 1000s of times. I'm rubbish at maths. Oh crap of that. I can't do that. On the level of a probably 10 year old level of maths. I've been saying for years and years and years. telling myself that telling other people they're not even attempting to apply myself with some of the most basic arithmetic because I've been telling myself that I can't do it.
And I know that that's had an effect. For years and years and years, I was told that I was stupid by a bite, you know by some adults, including the teachers actually they were very quite rude.
I believed when I when I was eight. I was suffering well, that seven was a between seven and eight. I was having earache really bad earaches regularly. And eventually, the doctors sent me to a specialist. And it turned out that I was I had problems with one of my ears. And I was partly deaf. I feel like quite significantly deaf in one of my ears. And they came from from that they came to the conclusion that actually I was behind in school because I wasn't hearing Know what's being said,
outside the back. never like to didn't like people sitting behind me. Putting so couldn't hear what they were doing least a few in front you can see what people are doing.
So I had an operation on my ear. And you know, is I think it's okay, I don't know, I do have to get people to repeat sometimes. But I was told that I was slow, I was told I was stupid, I believed that I really, really believed that.
And it wasn't till I was 40 years old, when I got my degree, or went on stage and got my
Bachelor of Arts, with honors, degree in counseling, my graduation 40 years old. Because I didn't believe in myself, I didn't believe I could do
that. By could. The point of this is what we say to ourselves, what we hear other people saying to us, affects us. So if you got someone that's been negative towards you, telling you go this or that, and they're being horrible, then that's something that needs a solution that needs to be stopped. In the kindest possible way, needs to be stopped, telling them, asking them or just removing them from your life as a dramatic possibility. If someone's being horrible to you, and affecting your self esteem, we have to take control of our own lives, our own, the input that goes into our minds,
affects us really, strongly affects us. Which is why we've the panic, the anxiety when I was going through the worst part of it all I was thinking about pretty much all I was thinking about was, when's the next one? But then that's not true, because that's not all I was thinking about.
Again, I'm telling myself now even and it's a lie. Because I was thinking about other things. When I was in when I was watching television, when I was asleep, I wasn't thinking about it. did spend way too much time expecting the next one. The next things I had to take that's what I was expecting. And sure enough, I got
kind of got why asked for even though I didn't want it. That's what I was thinking about. If we met downstairs in the garden, and I put a new standard in, I'll put a tray in your hand. And I put
lots stacked up with dirty plates. And I just wanted the other side of the garden I said, my legal duties just keep thinking. Don't, don't drop the plates. Don't drop the tray. Don't drop the tray. Just keep up now off your mind. Don't drop the tray. Just imagine dropping and you don't want to just keep saying
eventually, you walk back and forward. You're gonna drop the tray the chance you're dropping is very high. Because that's what you're thinking about. Even though in your mind you're thinking up or no but I was saying not to drop the tray. But were you thinking about what you think Can you mind what images we have, where you walk in across there, and the tray was fine, and you handed it to me, and everything was intact. Or were you thinking, I don't want to drop it, you're imagining dropping. So therefore your unconscious mind or your mind, just so your mind absorbs that takes that as a request or a command, or that's what you want, because that's what you're thinking about. It doesn't have the ability to differentiate between positive and negative. The unconscious mind, it just takes what you give it is it loves you does everything for you, and it wants to do everything for you. But it doesn't know what is good for you. And what's not good for you. Where knows is what you tell it, what you give it or what I give it. That's when you can stop playing with these things. And start wrapping your mind around the idea of actually imagining a situation tomorrow, for example, or in 10 minutes time, 20 minutes time, an hour
of feeling relaxed, of doing something having a different result emotionally. Something that may be, you know, before when you think about it
used to have that you expect to have a certain feeling those
horrible, horrible feeling. And now, you think about it, and you start picturing something. And it doesn't have to be realistic. That's the thing. Doesn't matter how silly or absurd it is. And trust me, I don't think I don't think we could think of anything in our lives.
That's absurd. As what we've already thought up already, in our lives, in our mind. I think we've kind of some of the most ridiculous things that I'm sure you are now I have
thought up. Or this might happen. When is no way in the world is going to happen.
Thinking that I know what someone's actually thinking, or what someone's intention is why they're we don't know why other people's intentions are, what other people are thinking. We can't read minds. We just can't. And suddenly, technically, we can't even read our own minds. And the sense of if we could and we could say well,
why am I doing this then why am I doing this behavior, but it can be changed by thinking differently. But thinking a guess on purpose or just leaving it to chance preparing. I mean, there's a reason why we have you know, instructions on the backs of food, cooking instructions, how long to put it into the oven for
you know, so put in the oven 200 degrees for 45 minutes. It doesn't say just put it the oven, any temperature and just leave it in there for however long you want. Something's bound to happen. So it's, it's about taking a bit more control over the most important thing in our lives, which is our mind because that affects every aspect of our life. Your mind affects your body, how you physically Have you emotionally feel how you behave? how you deal with other people's behavior?
And the list goes on. So with trauma, allowing it to say, No, it's okay. It's not okay that it happened, whatever it was, but it's okay to have felt and being affected by it. Because it's normal to be affected by trauma. That's why it's called trauma. It's supposed to be is not nice and disabled supposed to be horrible experience. It's trauma,
it's, it's horrible. It's not a nice thing to go through. Whether it's something you've witnessed something you've been through yourself, something you know, whatever it is, it's natural, to be affected by it. And then you can think to yourself, how long? Do I need to be affected by this? What's the cutoff point? Because you could ask yourself, do you deserve to be punished for what happened in that situation? And in most cases, I mentioned the answer will be no. Something's bad has happened. A traumatic incident. You didn't deserve that. So you do deserve to still feel the pain. from that. The answer cane mentioned is no. This is where logic and emotions come together. Because emotions are way more powerful than logic. emotions. Just be logic every time always well. However, emotions can work with logic, which makes even more powerful and more flexible. Because you've got both logic and emotions in your mind.
So by listening to this, and wrapping your mind around the ideas, are thinking, well, I've got this emotion. And then we're going to talk logically about this emotion. So you'll mix in logic and emotion together. They're not separate. Not oil and water. This is one liquid mixed together, dancing in harmony with each other. Both with your well being in mind, when you start to realize that actually that situation, the we call trauma has happened. It's gone now. And you deserve to be happy. It is to feel relaxed. When you wish to feel relaxed. It is to be happy. Which means you need to give yourself the opportunity to be happy. Give yourself permission to let go of some of those feelings from the past.
Maybe connect more with the physical side and the emotional side, because physical pain gets forgotten. Otherwise attorney will help population would go down very rapidly. That no be more than one baby born per human.
People that had car crashes would never get back into a car. People had sporting injuries, we never go and do that sport again, if they could remember the pain if they can't, we can't physically
remember pain, we can experience that at the time. I said definite afterwards, years later, there's no physical memory, the physical pain. So if someone's had a car accident, they can't remember the physical pain, no matter how much they were in. They might have the emotional pain, the trauma from that situation, but not the physical. So maybe we can start mixing them together. And take in from that. Something that's useful. It's horrible to be in physical pain. I don't like it. I've broken a few bones over the years.
I've had appendicitis have, you know, just to human being. We've all experienced physical pain, some kind. And it's not pleasant this this horrible. But it never lasts. Generally, but not acute pain anyway, chronic pain is a different situation. But acute pain never lasts, does diminish. It has to
just as emotional pain also can diminish. At the moment, it doesn't have to diminish. With the with the pain, the acute pain, we've got no choice in it just
the member goes we can't remember physical pain have an acute variety. As I said, chronic pain is a different matter altogether. separate thing
by I broke my hand a couple of years ago. I can't remember how I felt. You know I've got good memory, bow stuff like that. I can't get my head into that
physical feeling. And it was very painful. Something that someone said to me a couple of weeks ago. I can get in touch with the emotional pain of that.
And I wonder what possible use is. That is a pretty good skill. As far as memory goes from what he uses. If someone offered us the opportunity to be able to remember physical pain, the way we can emotional pain. Would anybody sign on to that? Would anybody say yeah, I'll add that please. As a lovely skill to have Yeah, brilliant.
And the thing is, you know lot of ways emotional pain is way worse and physical pain
when it comes to acute Pain. It's almost like we're causing ourselves like this emotional trauma, whether it's reenacting for thinking about the thing. Why do that? Because if you hurt your hand, you avoid bashing it, you know, I'm a little bit clumsy, sometimes, you know, banging into things.
Born, I broke my hand, or when I broke my wrist, I didn't lift stuff up, because I knew that it would hurt. And it could potentially cause the bones not to heal properly. So I didn't pick anything up with that hand. It didn't take a lot of brainpower to do that. You always know wasn't a genius for realizing that. So it makes sense to have that mindset when it comes to emotional pain. To not be thinking about stuff that's happened a long time ago, that we can't change. It's happened. It's horrible that it happened. It's out of your control, it was more than likely out of your control at the time. It's now done.
Is there any point in keep pulling a scab off a wound when you know this never gonna heal. If you do that.
It's never going to hell keep pulling the scab off. It's just going to be one continuous wound. I suppose that's one way of keeping pain continuous isn't that
you hate yourself and you just keep pulling the scab off. Keeps the pain going. Or why would anyone want to do that? Because it's horrible. When actually, you can feel good, you actually can feel relaxed, you can feel happy. You can focus on the things that you enjoy in life,
you can focus on the things that you want to experience in the future. And if you can think about the past you can think about the good times that you had in the past
because you do have a choice about what you think about we're not slaves to our thoughts. I know it's it's really easy to get into that mentality.
And trust me I know really do now. Especially you know I struggle with it with a bipolar sometimes you know, what's going on in this thinking patterns going on. But we do have some control. And you know what, even if there's moments when you can't doesn't mean that you need to give up. You just take control when you can. There were times when I can't eat and gal bed. When I don't want to do anything. Don't see anyone don't want to do
anything at all. When I'm feeling okay. I try and make an effort to fill my mind with positivity make an effort to make recordings which
I really believe that helping other people helps me financially, but emotionally. And I've been doing this since 2006. And it for me, it's transformed my life in a way that I don't think anything else would have done in this, the way this has. That hasn't stopped me being having mental illness has stopped me having this hereditary brain dysfunction, whether you want to call bipolar with emotionally unstable personality traits, which is what are diagnosed as B can work around, wherever the situation you're in. really believe that, and I think it's never ever give up, ever, ever. I know, kind of perhaps gone off on a tangent here a bit. But it's so important. So important to remember that each day is a new day. So new opportunity. sarka If I spend two days in bed, and you know, I don't do anything, perhaps have a little bit to eat. And I just lay here for soy for myself.
In two days time, I might be up feeling really good. or feeling okay. And able to do a few recordings may be able to work on a website, able to make a phone call to someone a friend.
It's remembering. Because one remembers why if we're going to remember stuff,
the one choose some of those things to remember. So instead of remembering trauma from the past, why not use that skill of the memory to remember some of the nice things that happened to remember, times when you felt relaxed, and really, really chilled out. For no reason you just felt really good. or looking forward. Now things when when I was a child I used to I absolutely didn't, I didn't like school at all. I liked some of the friends and stuff. And I was cheeky. And I used to get into trouble and stuff but didn't like schooled sitting in the classroom. bored me completely. And the teachers gave up on me after the first year. So when I was the high school south side for years where I was just left alone to just do whatever I wanted to do. It didn't bother me even with homework, it didn't even bother, you know, worrying about if I did it or not. I didn't didn't bother.
By heads. You know, that was a horrible time. Part of it. But there was some really good times. There was times at school that I had the best laugh ever died the most fun. Just the little things walking around the playground or around the field. I was was a little bit of a loner, I go through periods when I'd be really sociable and boyish and very loud and whatever. And other times when I just didn't want to be around anybody. And I used to walk around and not sing. One of my favorite things was singing the songs from Greece. Greece, the movie. That's happy memory. I can't say that I enjoyed a lot of my whole life. But I remember one day coming home. And my dad had we had a snooker table. In the playroom he actually got is well a full size size wonder it was a big, nice big one. snooker table and tennis table. And part of reason that was such a good Spirits because ours used to come in home and my dad would be at work and he'd come home later, he was already there. And he was in a really good mood. And my brothers were there. And it was kind of magical. A magical moment. Song silos remember that, but I went years where I didn't think about it. Why think about stuff I didn't like. And that's never been useful. Ever. It's never been useful. Not once, not one little bit. Not even slightly. No benefit can be gained from focusing or thinking about the past. The horrible things were is stuff you expected in the future or in the past. And I'm not talking about never addressing it. Because counseling may well require focusing on their and other therapies and dealing with it. But constantly thinking about it is of no benefit. It only causes harm. So sign the middle way. And then some people would say, Don't ever think about the past, think about a future only think talk about the past is no good here. Well, I'm not in that ballpark, talking about the past, to somebody who can help you to process the past. Maybe use useful, or talking to a loved one, about something that you've been through may really be useful and helpful. And therapeutic is what you're thinking about. When you're on your own, what you're thinking about in your mind, that's the thing that has the effect.
So things like trauma, it's happened. Maybe we can just allow it to be like the physical trauma of given birth. It's forgotten. And it's not even because of the reward at the end of it.
It's the same with broken bones and all kinds of other things. We can't remember physical pain. So why? Why put all that effort into remembering emotional pain. Because it takes effort. It takes work takes a lot of rethinking and rethinking and programming our brains to keep thinking about stuff. And of course, it's going to be stuff that we're all not maybe aware of, we've all got blind spots. And nobody can be can't ever go at anyone for their blind spots, not even yourself. That's why they're called blind spots because we can't see them doesn't mean that we won't get to see them in the future. And counseling can win that out. Being in a relationship with someone that's understanding and caring and loving, can bring that out, get to know just with age even, you know, over time you get to notice things about yourself. I'd say every day is a new day to maybe discover something new about yourself.
But then when you're thinking in that positive way, in a way of what do I what what do you like about yourself? What do you value about yourself? What your good qualities.
So that can be this can be broken into two, the qualities, the good qualities that other people tell you or have told you about yourself and also those good qualities or the qualities that you feel Good, we might use a different word from good, a special qualities, those wonderful qualities that you value about yourself. Something that you may never tell another person. And you don't need to tell other people, if you don't want to be do need to tell yourself it do need to tell yourself about your good qualities. You do need to remind yourself about the good times you've experienced. You do need to think about those things that you want to happen in the future. Those are the things you need to do. And you don't have to share that with anybody else. Because that's your personal mind, your single mind is your business.
If you choose to share, that's also your business. do need to tell yourself regularly, every day, more than once a day that you deserve to be happy that you deserve to feel relaxed. You need to tell yourself and remind yourself that you have many years have been able to do things that maybe you struggled with a little bit recently, or maybe law, but you used to be able to do those things. And you will be able to do those things again.
feeling relaxed, feeling confident. Feeling peaceful. And feeling that love that love for yourself. This isn't about walking around telling everyone I love myself. It's about feeling it. This is private stuff for you. It's about feeling it feeling that kindness towards yourself. Having as much love for yourself as you would for newborn baby in your arms.
I've heard people say that even people that didn't perhaps even want to have kids. The since that baby this son or daughter was handed to them. And they looked at that baby's face and looked into the law very large eyes babies have done they look into their eyes.
That love they instantly felt for that newborn baby was off the charts. It was something that then that never experienced before I didn't realize that they could experience that. When I say that, you can experience that toward yourself. You can experience that towards yourself. How about when you finish this recording, you're gonna look in the mirror.
equal the same eyes as you had when you were a baby. about looking in your own eyes and realizing that you're my special person in your life. Realize that you can earn from this moment onwards, take care of that person in the mirror to love that person in the mirror to make sure that you're happy and safe. So that's going to kind of bring this to an end. On that note.
I could keep talking for hours. So here's a few ideas, few things to think about. Really, really important that you remember you are precious. Very, very likely. At some point when you is a tiny little baby, somebody looked
at you and thought that you the most precious person in the world at that moment. regardless what happened afterwards not discounting what happened afterwards, I'm just saying somebody whether it's a parent, or brother, sister, grandparents, uncles, cousins, it might have been a nurse or a doctor, it
could have been the person in the next bed. Someone's gonna look when I looked at you probably more than one person and just for Wow. It's most perfect. Perfect thing in the whole world is this is just perfection. so precious, worthy of love him and treating really, really well. And treat him with respect. And being been coined to say you deserve to be able to do that to yourself every day.
When you wake up in the morning, look in the mirror. For you go to sleep, look in the mirror. And remind yourself just how precious you are, and how you deserve to be loved. It is served to be happy.
And you deserve to plan for the happiness. But thinking in your mind, about your future, and how you want things to be wonderful. And how you expect things to be wonderful.
When you think about the past, you think about the good times from the past. Because you deserve to be happy. And you deserve to feel loved by yourself. loved by you because you are special. So thank you for listening. And I'll speak to you next time. And remember to be kind to yourself. Lots of love bye
Hello, and welcome to Jason Newland doe calm. My name is Jason Newland, this is relaxation, hypnosis for stress, anxiety, and panic attacks. Please only listen when you can safely Close your eyes.