#43 Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety & Panic Attacks (Jason Newland) (9th August 2019)

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Hello, my name is Jason Newland, and this is relaxation, hypnosis for stress, anxiety and panic attacks. Please only listen to this when you can safely Close your eyes. I do have a new website for this podcast. But I can't, I can't remember the name of it. Which is terrible, isn't it? But hey, it's it will be in the description or something is weird because I've built I think four websites this week. And it's the only one I keep forgetting the name of it. It's stress. Think stress hypnosis.com or something like that. Which is quite unusual, because it's actually become quite popular very quickly. The websites getting quite a bit of traffic, for some reason, so I'll have to sort of learn it is 11 websites can always remember all the different ones. So thank you for for your support by listening to the recordings that I make. I haven't made one for about a week. I think so. jus a new one. And a new recording. So I thought recently, I've been, I've been working on my don't want to say positivity things, I've always had this negative image of positivity. And that sounds really silly sentence when I say out loud. But when I was younger, I used to hate people. And some people would say you should just be positive and pretend and pretend to be in a good mood when you're not. And as I've had bipolar for a long time, I only got diagnosed. Nine was it eight years ago. But my moods weren't really dependent upon what was going on around me always, you know, what they weren't,
sometimes it worked. But, you know, I could be a wedding and be in a horrible mood,
like a beautiful occasion. So I still get a little bit frustrated when I hear people say well just put a smile on your face. And you fake it till you're making that kind of stuff and but recently looking at it a different way. I say recently, I mean, over the last few years really
are probably over the last 20 years. But more recently, I'm 49. So I spent a lot of my life thinking it was silly. But start to look at it from different ways. And you may think what's this got to do with stress and anxiety and panic and
a lot? A real a lot. And because there's a sentence, I've got Andre on my bed, he's my little boy.
I'm going to walk into the living room if you I don't normally do this, I normally try and keep everything really quiet in the background. I've got a piece of paper stuck underneath the television, because a television unit and it's basically taped to the unit in big letters. And it says we become what we think about we become what we think about and That might seem like some kind of self help statement that you would hear from a motivational speaker.
And that's exactly what it is. And it's they're not my words. This is Bob Proctor is where I got that sentence from that particular thing. But just the sentence enough, that it's not enough, just those words,
is not enough. It's digging deeper into what it means for us individually, what it means for reducing stress or the creation of those panicky thoughts.
So basically, it is very simple to say, I understand this. It's very simple just to say something. And it's really easy for me just to say, Well, if you do this, this will happen. But I'm not living your life. I'm not living inside your body. I'm not experiencing what you're experiencing.
And I admit that I admit that I don't know what it feels like to be you. And that's a refreshing thing. To hear somebody say. It's usually the other way around. The amount of times I've heard people say, all I know what you feel, I know what you're going through. I know what you feel.
I know you feel like, I know. No, you don't know how I feel. Because we're different people. And I know that a lot of it is really well intention. But we are different. And I will never know what it feels like to be you. You will never know what it feels like to be me.
And that's not a bad thing. Because we're all individuals. But the idea is what we think about. And I've mentioned this in the past, what we think about
affects our life. It's just that particular sentence is a much better description than I give with one sentence. Here takes me 15 minutes to kind of put what is said in that one sentence. For me that 15 minutes is needed. Because I think it's something that needs to be absorbed, but also understood from various different angles. connected with reducing your stress, connected with how you think, what you expect to happen. Things that you say to yourself, your internal dialogue, the things that maybe you say been saying to yourself
for many years. The things that you think about. So I can't mind read you, I can't mind read what you think about. I can make a few guesses. I can talk about things that I fall about
in connection with anxiety, stress, and panic. But this is also valid for all aspects of our life. Because what we spend time doing, what we spend time thinking about what we spend time saying to others, or to ourselves, has an impact on us. So I guess in this perspective, I'm starting to think well, how can this fit in with looking towards recovery, from stress from anxiety, because even though it's different for everybody, it's horrible. for everybody. That's that words an understatement. And it's it's horrific, have an extreme anxiety, panic attacks, is this is a horrible thing. And I don't think anybody's going to be jumping up out of their chair saying, Wait a minute. I love it. Because of course, no one does. How could anyone? So there's that commonality. So I wonder, what do you do? What do you do in your life, that you could change for you something that you could do differently, that will improve the way that you think. And by improve on mean, change, the balance of negativity and positivity, to be in the positivity favor, to be more positive, top heavy positive without being fake, without pretending. And I'm not a big fan of pretending just for the simple fact that we have to pretend so much of our lives anyway. You know, if you go to work and you're in a foul mood, and we're all allowed to be in moods, we've all got emotions, we're human beings. You know, if you're going through a difficult time at home, why would you you know, you can
still going to your human being you've got feelings. But you can't necessarily show them when you're at work.
Or if you're going to school or college, or your teacher, for example. Twice your doctor majan if you're a doctor, and you've got you seen 40 people or 50 people,
patients a day, and they've all got, you know, well, most people don't go to the doctors because they're feeling well do they so and that doctors struggling. But they can't you know, they can't snap and they can't go in and be grumpy. Thankfully, I mean, that'd be horrible for the patient. So we all spend time pretending, putting on like a fake smile at times. Maybe even a fake sense of humor, or fake courage. Or just courage. Maybe. But when you in your own mind, Why be fake? This there's no one to lie to. You know, I can tell myself that I'm wearing a suit. I can say to you that I'm sitting there with a suit on tie, bow tie, bowler hat. And you might believe that you've got no reason not to fall you got no reason to care we've been telling you for not. But the fact is, why would I say that to myself? When I know that I'm just wearing some tracksuit bottoms. And a T shirt. What benefit would I get from pretending that I'm wearing a suit.
So there's that kind of sense of pushing away the reality. So which sometimes perhaps we feel we need to do in a situation like work or school or maybe in front of your children or in front of your parents. This may be that sense of not wanting to upset anybody or not wanting to disrupt other people's enjoyment. But you know if you've got someone that's close to you, parent child, especially like Parent if you're a young person, or if you've got a relationship with somebody, and you need someone to talk to them, build that honest relationship where you can be honest. Because to be used to realize that you can actually be in a really bad mood, and talk about being in a really bad mood with somebody, without being an asshole to them. It is possible to be angry, but have a conversation with someone and talk about the anger without being angry at them as possible to feel anxiety. And to talk about it with someone without feeling anxious. Because it's a safe space, because you're talking about something, in a sense, when you talk about something outside of it, you're talking about it as if it's a thing. As if you kind of observe in it, he kind of stepped away from it. So that anxiety that panic that stress is away from it and you observe it and that distance that you can have, just by observing that distance really means a lot. Now, if you think about an electrical current, you know, it could be the most powerful electrical current in the world. But once it's disconnected anywhere, any part of it stops touching the other part of the wire, everything stops, doesn't have the power anymore. That's the same with thoughts. Same with emotions that energy, stress anxiety. Once use that back and you disconnect just a little bit as I think or be an inch. disconnect your two batteries, you disconnect those batteries, put an inch between them, they won't work wherever it is that's been operated won't work.
If they're not connected in the right way to slides you've got the hose pipe it's connected to the tap maybe in the kitchen or you know maybe outside toilet and you're going to
you know hose the garden or the flowers at the bottom of the garden. And you've got that hose pipe in your walk into the bottom of the garden.
And as I remember years ago when I was a kid, it used to come off the wall
used to come off the tap and the tap would just drip onto the floor or into the the basin or wherever it was the sink and go down a plug hole and you can stand there for the next 100 years. And your nothing's going to come out at the end of that
hose until you connect it back. And literally it can be the end can be in the sink still. But still nothing will come out because it hasn't got that pressure from the tap. The water is not coming out just taking a little bit of a distance few inches.
And then the power is gone. The you know it's like I've got I've got this on sighs a dodgy plug beats. Whenever I use the toaster and I've got through two toasters in the last couple of years. And it works for a while and then it seems to overload and put the toast in and it flicks a switch and darkness lessons during the day then it doesn't is still light Everything goes off, the entire flat goes off, all electricity goes. That one switch gets flicked and everything goes off. And it's a bit like that with, with anxiety and stress and panic. And if you take one of the components out, you take like one of the wires a bit loose bovid dodgy wiring, you know, maybe disconnect one of those wires, you take out that and it doesn't work anymore, it doesn't doesn't function, the way that it used to function. I remember years ago when I was in the sea cadets learn about building fires and about fire safety as well. Because we were learning about how to build fires, you know how to cook food and stuff while we were in the wilderness. But at the same time how to put fires out. And Polish remember this that the triangle the triangle for fire yet, you had to have one had to have all three. And if one got taken out, the firewood couldn't work had to have all three of those things
had to have fuel had to have oxygen. They had to have heat. Oh, you should remember this stuff. It's had a few of the way the fires gonna go out, take the heat away. There's no fire
and take the oxygen away. There's no fire. So you've only got to take one of those away and it disconnects. And it's a little bit like that with anxiety, stress panic, by the way we think you think differently. think differently, changes that it disrupts the process because that wiring in our mind. You know, it's kind of it's a well trodden pathway. Because we've got used to it we've got used to going from here to there quite quickly. And it feels like it's automatic. When actually if instead of turning right, you turn left. Instead of thinking of green, you think of blue instead of thinking of what's gonna happen if this happens, what's gonna happen if that happens, maybe this will happen. Or maybe it won't feel that way. Well, but what happened fulfill Okay. What would happen if I go different journey? I'll take a different, you know, go around a different few different roads instead of the roads don't normally go down. What happens if I get the picture from a different petrol station? What happens if you think differently, but purposely not just be on automatic because there's only one way any wrong reason to go on automatic.
And that's when that automatic is you're happy with it. That's a reason why we have to have driving lessons.
And you have driving lessons with a driving instructor. And they only allow you to go and have the driving test when they know that you're capable of driving safely on your own. Until you get to that point, you can't take the driving test. Well, they won't put you forward for until drive in. examiner decides that you're capable of driving on your own safely, you won't get the driving licence.
But once you get the driving licence, you're just sent along and you can. It's like, you've got that skill. And it's an automatic
skill that you've got it. You just go along and do it. But you've had to learn it. Some people learn quicker than others when it comes to driving. Some people love driving, some people don't. So when it comes to thinking, specific thinking, thinking about how you feel, how you expect to feel, how you want to feel. Notice in how you're not noticing the things you say to yourself, changing things you say to yourself, correcting yourself, but not in a harsh way, in a gentle way, in a way that you would with a small child at the you cared for
being gentle with yourself. I know that it might seem a bit. All lovey dovey and fluffy. The idea of you know, being gentle with ourselves.
But I can't think anything more important than being gentle. To be fair, being gentle with each other. Imagine what the world would be like if we were just a bit more gentle.
We can't control the world, we can't control reality and what goes on outside can't control other people. But we do have control over our thoughts. Not necessarily the ones that automatically rise. But we can do something with that. You think yourself think of yourself as a as a tennis player. You've got these balls come into water. Just knock them back. Looking back, looking back over the net. You don't want the ball. You can imagine you actually on a mom, not a tennis player. So I'm no I'm not talking about this as like an avid expert or lover of tennis. I just think it's quite a nice analogy because you think if you're playing tennis, the one thing you don't want is the ball. You don't want it. You want that ball away from you. And it's an area where that ball has to be knocked away. And the only ball that's okay, is if it's out. It's out of a certain area. And it's okay but even then you're outside you see leaving the best tennis players going still knock that ball back. Just in case it you know he hits the line or it's just inside. So the most important thing is to get rid of that ball. So you think of that ball is thoughts? Not all thoughts. Some thoughts are beautiful. You know if you're thinking about visiting somebody that you care about, if About what even something like watching television program that you love watching, or doing something that you enjoy doing. They're lovely thoughts. They're not, they're not balls to knock back as a board to catch. You know, you want more of those balls, not to knock that you but you know, you want to be able to catch as many of those balls as you can. And just embrace it, embrace those nice feelings. Because they are there. When you see a crab people come in. And they can come in various different shapes. It can be a crappy thought it can be, it can even be something that someone wants you to do that you really don't feel comfortable doing.
Don't do it, knock it back and knock that ball away. Or maybe you've got you know, someone's got dietary issues, they might want to
avoid the temptation of eating salt, and it's going to make them ill crap, people will knock it back. All those thoughts saying, Oh, don't do that, because you're gonna feel crappy, and it's going to be hard, knock that ball back.
And there may be some balls you want to catch, just to examine. So you got the ones you can catch, you know, the nice memories, the things you're looking forward to, you know, as far as these thoughts,
and you can catch them. In fact, you can catch him just leave them on the floor. And they can stay there with you. And that can become part of the ground you walk on.
Become part of you. So those thoughts, those really lovely feelings, those relaxing sensations are always there with you, within you, for you to feel whenever you want.
And then sometimes as I said, you'll get a ball that maybe you think well I don't know about this. Because you're not sure if it's real or not if it's right or not, might be true might not be true. You might actually believe the thought the thought might be
to you know, or can't go to college go to a party I've been invited to because this will happen I'll feel this particular way
you might need to catch that ball an examiner and think well okay
it's happened before I've felt I've had difficult times maybe a family gathering ball saw that really good times as well.
And then you can look at the ball and know it's, it's an old not cliche, but I don't know where it is. But
look at the ball. It's just an idea. As all is in your mind, all these thoughts.
It's just a thought. And look at that ball. is it made of stone?
Is that ball made of stone? When you realize it's not we realize it's not actually a ball. It's just a thought.
And thoughts are movable. Thoughts are not stuck. The only stick if we allow them to stick but they're fluid. always moving. Just like how we feel. We're changing the way we feel is different. The way you feel now will be different to how you felt before you press the play button on this record.
The way I feel is different to how I felt before I sat on his bed. We've been Andre on the bed over there asleep. Thankfully not making lots of noise It's okay. And that's another thing. I know I jumped from subject to subject. But this is a really important thing. I
think it's okay to feel it's okay to feel whatever it is you feel it's okay. So okay to feel angry, sometimes it's okay to feel
that you're super sexy sometimes okay to feel really low, it's okay to feel any feeling at all. It's okay. Because it's just a feeling. Because if I said to you, sometimes I feel like on really hot, I'm really like super attractive to women. And you know, I'm a proper catch. And you might look at my picture and you think
I'm a bit deluded, possibly. And my thoughts don't really fit in with reality. was fun, fun to have thoughts like that? If you feel that way, you're going to be more attractive to somebody else. Because of the confidence, you know, as a standard psychological thing. You probably feel happier in that moment. But in the same way, it's just a thought. So if I'm thinking, I never thought that on so widely, and no one would ever look at me. And I love to know why I like to say this, but like to tell people that I'm becoming invisible to women. And even though I say as a joke, it's not helping me. And sometimes I put in quotes. People laugh and that but like, that's not helpful. It's not real. It's not true either. mifos invisible locker go shoplifting. I can't say can see me. So if we're going to criticize a super over exaggerated positive perspective about ourselves, we surely Shouldn't we also get the same. The same attention the same amount of judgment, I'd have judgments the right word, but maybe not take it too seriously. Maybe not take any feelings and thoughts too seriously. Because I know, years ago, Jackie told me years ago that
when I first had the distress that on the rule, like the panic attacks and stuff, and I had a period when I felt that I shouldn't be feeling this way. And I didn't want to feel anything. And I tried to block off all feelings, so that I could block off the unpleasant feelings.
Which is something that a lot of people do, whether anxious or not, you know, can't be hurt, or put the big bridge ups or can't be hurt. The thing is that the bridges up you can't be happy. You know, he can't experience you have to have an open, have to experience the rubbish as well as a nice stuff. What I discovered is, it's not it's not something that I've
created, it's just just a thought I would say this is pretty a fact
is when you drop that drawbridge, knock down that wall, allow feelings to emerge, and just allow them to be there. don't cling on to them, just
notice them. And if you're in a bad mood, just That's how you feel. If you feel and wonderful, that's a feeling. When you allow the feelings to rise, they lose the strength just loses its strength to how it was before when you're trying to push it away.
And it's, as I said, it's it's kind of a standard theory, within emotions and thinking and feeling. It's also really important, I think, to kind of remember that, when it comes to the feelings, whether it's physical or emotional, or whatever it is, connect did with anxiety,
stress, panic. Because by allowing those feelings to just be there, it means that you're no longer powerless. Or you're never powerless,
but you don't, and you no longer feel powerless. Because that's the one thing about anxiety and stress. It can be a sense of, something's been done to you
by an outside source. Something's causing this. Something's you know, it's been done to you, which is
having physical and emotional reactions to life, and life's events. And the way we think, is the most natural thing in the world.
If you won the lottery, or someone gave you 100,000 pounds or dollars, right now, I can pretty much guarantee that most people would have a really good day. I know that life isn't all about money. But that day would be all about money. That day would be a good day. Even if it was a case of his 100 grand, you have to
spend it today. You don't get to keep anything. You can just do whatever you want with 100 grand, you can give it away.
But you have to at the end of the day with no no cash in your pocket out of the 100,000 and you don't have anything any physical goods left. I suppose some people are going to have plastic surgery and stuff like that. But imagine how much fun that would be. Everyone would have a great great day wherever you give the money away to people whether you hire their helicopter or private jet to take you to
New York decided to hire out have you know a pop star to sing in your living room for you and your family? decided to give them 90 grand to do that. And just sing like one song.
Be great day. My finger Why am I talking about the lottery? What are you talking about? A lot of rain was talking about going underground.
say God if anything. It's got to do with feelings, emotions. Because, you know there's times when in the past, I've felt that there's no way I could have any pleasure. Like there's no way no way I was ever
going to feel anything but how I was feeling at that moment. And I was always wrong. Always, always wrong. So whenever you think that the way you feel is never going to change You're wrong. I don't think it's a great thing to tell people that they're wrong. Genuinely is in most times it would be classed as a negative thing. In this situation, it's a positive thing. When have you tell yourself that you're less than what you could be, you're wrong.
Whenever you tell yourself in your mind will think that things are always going to be the way they are now. You're wrong. They won't be as the same as a huge pizza on button in the top buying a new trousers or jeans, sitting back in a chair, and saying that sit on never eat and again, you You're wrong. He will eat again. I'm never gonna feel hungry again. You're wrong, you will feel hungry again. Just perhaps not for a little while.
You may say what's he in a huge pain. So God deal with having chronic anxiety. So bad change is about realizing the was happening now. Is just now, and now is in this moment. Doesn't mean in five minutes. It means right now. Guaranteed, no matter how you're feeling right now. If suddenly, a helicopter helicopter helicopter landed in the road outside your house, what safely landed a big helicopter. And all the neighbors will be coming out looking and everyone blobby in the hallways, you know, as I was going on, and you don't want to be in the stream, what's going on, there was a big helicopter. And then the president or a prime minister or, you know, someone really famous got out of the helicopter maybe Bono from you to wherever, whoever is someone that you really like a celebrity that you really like, got out of their helicopter. The way you feel will change instantly. You may say well, that's obvious. But doesn't take a helicopter to change how you feel.
Just walking into a different room. moving your body. Thinking about something different. observing how you feel. noticing the things that you are thinking.
Realizing the what you think about affects your life. What you think about now affects what you think about next affects what you think about next. And all those thoughts have an effect on how you feel which then affect what you think about next.
But instead of being like a big domino effect, you know, as big long trail of dominoes all standing up stacked together, you press one and they all fall down one by one. or thoughts aren't like that. They seem like that, but they're not. Because if you look for the angle from a certain angle of Coconut got no control and forts just happen. And that's how, that's how it looks. But when you actually look correctly, you see that the gap between each Domino is quite wide, essentially wider, then each Domino sort of one gets knocked down, lands on the floor, the one next to it still standing up, it has to be pushed over by you. And that's the next thought. And then you have to go and push the next one over. So there is a gap between each Domino instead of being automatic, like we seem to think sometimes it seems like they're essentially not those dominoes, individually spaced
too wide to knock each other down, to have that domino effect. So you're the one and I'm the one we're all the one
that knocks the next Domino over. Which means it gives you the opportunity to look at the domino.
Do you want to knock it over? Or you just want to get rid of it? Maybe replace it was something else. Maybe you don't like the like it might pass you want to put a
sort of add in that one, maybe you want something that's pink or pink Domino, maybe what one was more dots on or less dots
on. Maybe you want a little one with little hands on top. can be silly. Do Have you ever view once your mind these are your dominoes. These are your thoughts. You don't have to knock the next Domino down. You can just get rid of it. You can bypass it altogether. So that brings me to the end of this recording. And I've talked for longer than I thought I was gonna I thought it was gonna be a 30 minute one, but it's now 53 minutes. So thank you for listening. And I will speak to you next time. And remember, be gentle with yourself. Genuinely Be gentle. Even if it sounds a bit goofy and a bit a bit like my sound weird to me Be gentle. You know what it means? You know what it means to be gentle with a child. You know what it means to be gentle with a parent of an elderly person. You know what it means to be gentle with someone you love and care about. You know what it feels to be gentle with a puppy or a little kitten. We all know what it means to be gentle. So it's time for you to be gentle with yourself. From now onwards. Be gentle with yourself. Speak to you next time. Lots of love bye

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