#103 Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety & Panic Attacks - "DON'T FEEL GUILTY FOR BEING ILL" - (Jason Newland) (26th February 2020)

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Hello, and welcome to Jason newland.com. My name is Jason Newland, and this is relaxation, hypnosis for stress, anxiety, and panic attacks. Please only listen, when you can safely Close your eyes. And please subscribe to this podcast so you can be notified when a new one is uploaded. And if you would like to support this free service, please go to paypal.me forward slash Jason Newland.
Now, I
thought today, I would broach the subject of guilt particularly, or specific he connected with letting people down. Or the feeling rather, of letting people down. And knowing how I normally do these recordings, I probably move in a different direction from the guilt
aspect. But maybe talk more about the the feeling of letting people down. And the the practical aspects of that. So I'll explain what I mean. When I say letting people down a very simple example would be making plans to meet someone and then canceling perhaps at the last minute,
which I guess is something we've all done. You know, I'm generalizing course, I can't say that's 100% true, but it's definitely something that I've done. And I'm guessing it's something that most people listening have done. Sort of generally in life, you know, we sometimes make arrangements and
we have to cancel for whatever reason. Maybe we just don't feel like doing it or maybe you know,
not feeling well enough, whatever. But when you add into the mix, anxiety, stress panic, if you add that into the mix, it brings into it's kind of a new game. Really, it's a whole new situation. So I guess that's where I'm coming from with this focus in on
the letting people down aspect of anxiety and stress. So here we go. I suppose the first thing I think about is just the words, letting people down. feels a bit crappy.
To me, just it feels very blamey very judgmental towards myself. Or maybe judgey towards someone else who does it. Because the feeling let down is on the other person. And if you're arranging to meet someone, this is just me sort of thinking off the top of my head. If you're arranging to meet me, for example, and I'm your friend, or your relative, someone that you care about and I care about you then I'm guessing I would know about your situation. So if we arranged to meet and you cancel then In a sense, there's no reason for me to feel let down. I suppose I could feel disappointed because I'm not getting to maybe do the activity that I was looking forward to doing. You know, if we're going to go for a meal will go out to see a movie or something.
disappointed, don't get to spend time with you if I like you, you know, just that kind of situation. But do I have the right? To give you shit about? Do I have the right to be nasty to you? And to tell you how disappointed I am in you, how much you've let me down? And how much of a rubbish friend you are. And if he was a good friend, and who cared, you'd turn up? Do I have the right to say that to you? Or to text that to you? Or to email that to you? I mean, technically, I suppose everyone's got the right to do whatever they want to do. If we look at it from that angle. Is that a friend though? that that would kind of open up that question for me, is that someone that deserves your time and your kindness? Then you could say, well, everyone deserve their kindness. She keeps saying Jason Be kind. Okay, fair enough. Bye, but are we responsible? Those of us that have anxiety issues, our dough will decrease, the anxiety will decrease, the stress levels will decrease. People that are having panic attacks, it will happen less often. Okay, these effects, regardless of what your opinion is, these effects just generally is everything will change. And that's something to keep hold of, you know, in a sense of if someone goes to prison, the reason they're given a certain amount of years, even for the most, you know, worst crimes in the world, they're given a certain amount of views. Because if they're not given a time when they're going to be released or when they're likely to be released.
What have they got? what hope do they have? What they got to look forward to? So I can't I'm not comparing people with anxiety, someone that's in prison for something terrible.
I'm sure we realize that I'm just saying that we although we can't perhaps put a time scan or time level on it, to say, by next Thursday, this you know, your stress will have reduced by this amount. Now, it's good to remember that it will reduce in the future, whether that be in the next 10 minutes, or in the next 10 days. Or the next 10 weeks, whatever is going to reduce, it will reduce it's got no choice but to reduce.
And there will be other times when it rises a little bit as it does with everybody. But it's important, I think to remember and it's sometimes one of the hardest things to remember
or to even believe at times. And I see plenty of times where I thought to myself
what When is this ever going to end? When? When am I ever just going to be able to feel relaxed and to just be
normal? That word normal? And you know, there's a cliche, isn't it? what's normal? The thing is, we all kind of know what, when we say normal,
quite often, we just, we want to be back to perhaps how we used to be.
So if someone's got anxiety in a public place, when they say they want to be normal, they might not be saying that they want to be like other people. They might be saying that they just want to be how they used to be in a public space.
So Chuck, in the what's the normal thing, someone is doesn't always need to be done. Pulling someone up on saying the word normal. Good, it doesn't always mean what it sounds like it means. Because it doesn't silences all our shock, just be be normal again,
doesn't mean that they feel that they're abnormal, necessarily. Although they may. I have, I still do actually. certain times. So going back to the whole, letting people down. Which the more sad, the more crappy. It sounds, letting people down. Just almost like it's all on your shoulders, it's your responsibility. You're I'm completely in control of the other person's emotions. When we're not. We're not in control of how other people feel. Actions, our behavior affects both ourselves and others course. I mean, that's just standard stuff, just like we're affected by other people's behavior and actions.
Yeah, we do have control. We do have the ability to think about stuff to HD, manage those emotions in a way.
Where you know, something you might get angry about, someone's canceled on you. You get angry maybe to start with, which is fine. People can have whatever emotions they want.
But it's not your responsibility for them if they get angry, or if they get upset, or if they feel let down.
Let's face it, that adds to it. Have canceled on loads of people, and I've lost friends over. I have I've lost friends
over the years because I canceled too many times. And then they just stopped contacted me. And that was it. And then I lost contact with them. Maybe I change my telephone number they change their telephone number. Or maybe I left a message a couple of people have actually left messages with didn't get back to me
because I'd canceled on them too many times. So in a sense, they may have felt let down. By I feel that I lost out more than they did because I lost their friendship. But then I feel Why did I lose a friendship couldn't have been based on much could it couldn't have been a particularly strong, loving relationship. If my illness was stop them wanting to be friends with me. I can understand if my illness was such as when I went out with them into a restaurant went to a public place that I was swearing at everyone, and getting angry and aggressive. And, you know, I can understand how they wouldn't, why they wouldn't want to spend time with me.
Because who would want to spend time with someone doing that? Generally, is unpleasant, isn't it?
and dangerous. But I don't like that. And I'm sure most people don't.
In fact, I know most people don't have been around long enough. Been to enough places to know that most people act. Okay. I mean, just sociably. So I suppose, um, although I'm talking about some of my own experiences,
I'm also opening it up for you to maybe think about some of yours. And going back to the original start of this recording, I was talking about guilt. Really? When I mentioned the guilt, I'll talk about the guilt associated with that situation, that was not your fault. So you're feeling guilty? Or you may be feeling guilty? No, no, I have basically for for being ill. And In what world? Does that make sense? Show me any situation where someone should feel ill or feel guilty for being ill? Show me a situation where someone should feel guilty for that, for being ill. There is no situation I suppose the only situation would be if you knew you had a disease, and you purposely spread it to another person. That would be the only situation diakon in my brain right this second think about? So someone had HIV, and they purposely spread it to another person. And I'm very specific on the purposefully. And I guess that won't happen very often. Sometimes. It's really, really, really rare.
Sabean il First of all, why should we? Why should guilt an illness come in, even be in the same paragraph? In the same conversation, there's no logic to that. Again, that's not an opinion, that's a fact. Those they don't go together. And so people might say, you still mentioned about things we affects
quite a lot. It's just your opinion. I don't care. It's a fact. Nothing that anyone can say will make any dent in that. No one could tell me that someone who is ill deserves to feel guilty of being ill. No. I'm no scholar, or not a professor. I'm not a doctor. But let's face it, and perhaps most people listen to this. may not them might be some doctors and professors listening but most people listen to this for like me. You can see it for what it is. illness is not something to feel guilty for. But maybe you didn't see a lot that until now. Maybe you have been holding that guilt in maybe You were ill, and your partner left. So this is perhaps I should say trigger warning before every single recording to be fair. But I would guess I'd assumed that the title of the podcast would give an idea of the kind of stuff that I'm
going to talk about. But I'm not going to go into that in detail. I'm saying that this, this somebody, I know people have been ill, and their partners left them.
And the person that's been left alone feels guilty for being ill guarantee the person that leaves them probably might not admit it, but in their quiet moments, or maybe in the future, will have guilt for the hadn't left that person when perhaps they needed the most.
But there's a possibility they just couldn't cope themselves. Not everybody can cope with stuff. With everything we all have, we're all different. So a lot of you out there, there's a lot of guilt tripping as well. And this is the opposite, I hope, you know, when I talk about people leaving their partners, because the role is not putting a guilt trip on that person. Because everyone in that situation is suffering.
But the people that are suffering, only feel their own suffering. So the person that's ill being dumped, will only feel their own suffering, and the person who's leaving because they're unable to cope, or for whatever reason, will only fill their own suffering as well. As one of the To be fair, it's a downside, but it's a plus as well. You know, if we could feel other people's suffering would be kinder. You know, they'd be I guess there wouldn't be any violence. Or very, very little. Because, you know, imagine if every time you, if you hit someone in the arm, punch someone in the arm, you felt that pain in your own arm, or shattered is someone and you felt that emotional shock that the other person feels, or putting someone down. And you felt that emotional, young, whoever the emotion is that use the experience, and they you know, to both experiencing that same emotion, there'd be less there wouldn't be any people pulling each other down.
because it'd be too painful. They'd be a lot more harmony, I guess. So that would be the good side. But the bad side, I suppose the opposite is the same thing. You'd feel other people's pain,
which would be horrible. Because regardless of war, how nice people are to each other. There's still going to be physical illness. So someone's got a partner that's got as an illness. It means that then that foobie feeling that physical illness to that physical pain. And in a way maybe we do. Maybe that's part of the reason why some people do find it hard to be with somebody who's going through real physical issues or mental issues, mental health issues, because they feel so connected to that person, that they're almost experiencing their own trauma.
Just a thought. Just a thought. Back to the Gil How much gold is there? How much gold do you have for letting other people down or feeling that you've let other people down in the past
because of illness, let's face his stress, anxiety, panic, the things that we've focused on in this podcast is illness.
Stopped well, health is is not feeling wonderful. It's illness. And the thing was stress, as we all know, it doesn't just manifest in mental pain, it can manifest physically.
And I don't mean the very well known symptoms as in panic feelings and stomach and the yonder kind of almost a feeling of the blood, leave in your legs or your limbs, or the jitteriness, or the almost the feeling of kind of you being outside your body, like it can be or the breathing feeling like you're, you're about to have a heart attack or the very tingles and all the different things that can happen physically, there's that side of it. But it's also it can manifest physical, physical illness. serious illnesses have is not actually given attention. Long term severe stress could lead to all kinds of problems, heart problems, all kinds of physical, organic issues. As I'm sure we're all aware of. I've been physically ill with stress. And I mentioned it before but 10 months for about 10 months I was ill bad stomach, but I was ill proper, couldn't he bloods, you know, out of knee bottom, and have to have it can have to have medical exams, which feel a bit of talked about before, but it just is still just it's a bit grim want to think about it. But I was ill for a long quiz took ages, I was very unwell, lost a lot of weight, and seriously for hours, dying or genuinely for at one point that maybe that was it for me. And it turned out the doctors and the specialists said, Oh, it's just stress. Just stress, which made me first of all think Firstly, I said to him as well, what have I got to be stressed about? Apart from being ill be an ill is made me stressed. In fact, being I'd gotten severely depressed during that summer. I didn't take medication, I'd never taken any medication for anxiety, stress, depression, or anything at that point. And this was 1995. And I thought that was September and August, September time. And they put me on antidepressants, and it worked. I'll put weight on not just the way that I had before, but he put on extra weight, which I did need because my was so skinny back then. And I felt better. I think I felt a bit better. As soon as they told me it was just stress. But I was annoyed with that. First of all, because I've gone through all these tests, and a tube down my throat heads, all kinds of what's you know, sort of different scans and blood tests and probes and stuff. So I wasn't you know, it's not that I wanted something to be wrong with me by almost kind of did just to justify the 10 months of suffering. I wanted also I wanted it to be curable, I wanted it to be easily manageable with medication, or an operation or something, I wanted it to be sorted and able to be sorted and not, you know, be serious, serious. But I didn't want to be told there was nothing. I didn't like being told that it was nothing sold in your mind. So I was told, well, least that's how I perceived it. Just stress. Just stress. And, you know, these were two specialists in a big room in the hospital. I mean, that award didn't there that they told me they were testing me for cancer. That's what he told me before, because they couldn't find anything else wrong. They said is something really, you know, some really unusual thing going on in your body, because we can't find out what it is. So we're going to give you these extra special tests, blood tests, and they were looking for something who knows what were they just I said, they said the word cancer to me, which I really wish they hadn't. Because that was a very long wait between a blood tests and getting results. I think it was about three weeks.
maybe longer. But it seemed like months and months. So if I wasn't stressed before, I was definitely stressed now.
And it was weird. Because you know, talk about guilt. What are we talking about guilt, I felt guilty. I feel guilty for wasting the hospital time. Because I was, I suppose kind of being aware of how valuable the doctors on the nurses and hospitals and the NHS. I don't know why I've been aware of that. Maybe it's just family talking, maybe I've been told about it, or seen on the news when I was a kid. I've been in hospital twice. Appendix and my adenoids removed when I was a child. So I valued the hospital because I'd had good experiences of hospital. And I didn't really want to waste their time. And I felt like I had, I felt almost like I was a fraud
or the fraud because it was just stress. And coming back to the the guilt of letting people down. I got to the point where it doesn't bother me anymore. If I cancel, I cancel you know, even this issues that I've got going on and I've had going on for years and I've cancelled stuff. Traveling isn't really one of my big things. One of my things that I
particularly like about public transport. And so I've missed out on family occasions. And also I think with the with the bipolar i can i can book something like an event or book an event, I can sort of say I'll come along to something, you know, in three months time. But then if I'm not up to doing it on that actual day or that week, then I'll cancel. Because I don't want to turn up and be a downer on other people or say something out of order or be a bit rude or be Miss just being miserable or not. Being because people expect me to be cheerful and upbeat, which is what how I normally would be in a social situation Generally, if the people know me not like that if people don't know me guess a quite shy person. You know, in a family situation I, or like friends, I would be someone that that expect to be in a good mood. And this happened actually, this. When I was at university, I was invited to go out, but I didn't want to go. By do my let my friend down. So she took us all I got in the car of her, went to this place where another person lived from college as well. And I felt stressed. This was back in 2000, then probably nine. And I felt really down, I felt stressed. I feel anxious. But I went along with it, because I liked this is a very close friend of mine. And I didn't want to let her down. And then they all decided to go to a nightclub. So again, I went along, and I just sat there. And they're all complaining. But it wasn't myself complaining that I was being miserable. I'd been anti social and was supposed to do. You know, if I had a canceled, it would have upset my friend. But by going there, I could have potentially upset the evening. I don't think I did. Because everyone was just busy getting drunk. But it was an unpleasant experience for me. And I was almost trapped because I couldn't get home. Because my friend had the car. And she was drunk. And we had to wait into the next morning. So it's just, yeah, it's just one of those experiences, but
I probably should have for my own health canceled. But I didn't. Because the idea cancelin gave me a feeling of guilt. And known from the past, having lost friends due to cancelin. And, and, you know, it's also something else, you know, I've heard this before, by health professionals in self help, books and stuff like that, to force yourself to do stuff that you don't want to do. force yourself to do it. force yourself to go to a public place when you really don't want to go to the public place. Now I can understand the concept behind it. You know, if you if we all force ourselves to do every single thing that everyone asked us to do, we all went to every public social event met up with every single person we arranged to meet then the other people might, on some level, feel better. And we might be able to keep more friends possibly. I don't know. And there's the I can understand from the The example is what the point of the activities you force yourself to do. You'll feel better afterwards. That's the idea, isn't it? I guess. I don't necessarily go along with that. I think you probably saw that one come in as well, leading up to it. For me, that would be I'm not comparing someone with this. So someone's got a bad back and they're in a wheelchair. But they can walk at times but their back is really bad and it's It has good times. Not so good time, sometimes it can get about a bit more than others. Other times they have, you know, always in the wheelchair. And other times they can get out and walk around a little bit. So just demand in a suburban walks, knowing that they can walk. But they're in pain would be a bit cruel, wouldn't it? to demand that someone walk, come on, you can walk. I know you're in a wheelchair, but you can actually walk I knew you're just not doing it because it's so painful. We just walk. I would never say that someone. So why? Why is it okay to expect someone with stress or anxiety issues that they're going through at that time to do something that's only going to increase potentially increase the stress levels. That seems unkind. Now, I'm not saying that, you know, if you've got a friend that's anxious, and stressed, leave them in their house, and they you know, if they never leave their house, just leave them to it. Because they do need to leave the house at some point. You know, that's not. But you know, it does need, there needs to be a degree of maneuverability. It needs to be a moving forward by thinks, you know, the example of someone in a wheelchair, just got a really, really bad back, and they can't walk. The fact that they're in a wheelchair means they're moving forward. Because they could just sit in a chair at home and not do anything.
But they're in a wheelchair, and again, out. So that's moving forward. Some people with their met, sometimes mentality would be be happy, you should just suffer through the pain and walk. You can walk, you're just in a lot of pain. Don't let the pain stop you. And there's probably something to be said for some of that. In a sense of not someone walking when we're in pain, but in a sense of doing some things that are not do somethings that pass who don't want to do? Yeah, I think the level the level of you know, stress and anxiety connected to that particular activity, or that activity that we're thinking of doing. needs to be gauged needs to be looked at. Because why put yourself through suffering needlessly. But at the same time, not ignoring the fact that things are going to change, and to be open to the reality that although you may not feel up to doing it now.
You probably will be in the future. But this is now the future hasn't happened yet. Yes, life You broke your leg. You can't put any pressure on your leg right now. But you will be able to
no one's gonna take you dancing. No one's gonna give you a hard time. Oh, come on. You can put your weight on your leg. Don't worry. Sonny broken three places. Come on. You got a cast on it. Let's go dancing. No, no one's gonna do that. What if they did, they're pretty silly. And they're not really, they're probably just making fun and probably not mean it. But if they no one's really gonna say it and really mean come on. Don't be lazy. But you know in your mind that you can't do it alone. The best thing right now is to not put any weight on it. Because then all you're dealing with is the level of pain, it's there now, which of course, with broken bones reduces continuously, the level of pain starts to go down as soon as it's looked after and set. And you know that it's just a broken bone, I want to say just because I'm using that word again, but broken bones heal. Generally. You know, for most people, a broken bone will heal, but it's very painful. So, I've had a few broken bones. So I don't want to dismiss the temporary suffering that is caused by such an injury. And some, some injuries are terrible, you know, if you open fractures and stuff by donor, sort of go into that, but it's temporary. And as soon as you know what it is, the stress level reduces with physical injuries. Once you've been seen, once, you know you're going to be okay.
The stress levels from juice. And the healing starts, can you get out of your own way, and the healing can just get on with the job of healing that part of your body. So maybe, that's what we need to do with the stress and the anxiety and you know, our brain
get out of our own way. So maybe not put ourselves through something that could cause us unnecessary stress temporarily. So maybe not going to the party that you've invited to temporarily. So not one never gonna go to another party, we're never going to go to another family occasion. Because the long term situation there could be really quite awful. As far as your relationships go, and for yourself, for your own well being. If you if you've kind of connect or collate The, the mental illness side of things, with the physical illness side of things, and how we would give ourselves a break, no pun intended, with a with a leg injury or an arm injury, like a broken bone. You give yourself time to heal, you'd have no choice, but you'd, you know, you could I guess put weight on the leg. And you could cause the, the the injured part to not heal correctly. And then have to go back and have it reset. I didn't get my I broke my hand few years ago. And I had to go to the specialist after I had the X rays, and I went to a specialist Two weeks later. And he said that I needed treatment on it needed to have it properly operated on because it was so damaged.
And I didn't have it done. And two years later, my hands still hurts. It doesn't hurt as in like it did. But if I make a fist part of my hand still hurts.
That's on me. That's my own. That's my own fault. I just didn't the idea of having an operation or anything like that. Didn't you know No. Life Saving operation Yeah, but not not my hand. You know, but again, that was my own choice. pretty silly choice because it might have just been I needed re broke or sit in a different way possibly which still didn't appeal to me if I'm honest. So by comparing not comparing by thinking about stress anxiety, in the same way, as we think about men like physical stuff, then perhaps we'll show ourselves a bit more respect a bit more kindness.
And also, the other aspects, which I was thinking about is, if you've got a friend and that you've filled the lead down, then it might be worth and it's just just chuck it up
in the air, it might be worth really sitting down with them and explaining your situation. If you you know, really like them, you value them to the point where you don't want to lose them as a friend that is. So you kind of do in a few self in a way because you don't want to lose them. And you give them an opportunity to be a good friend, by explaining that, at this time, you find it difficult to make appointments that are difficult to sort of turn up to stuff, or to stick to arrangements, social activities, due to how you're feeling.
But it's temporary. And that's something to remember, it's temporary. And those feelings of stress, anxiety, panic, will reduce and they have reduced in the past and they will continue to reduce
doesn't mean that you're never going to have any things like that again, because it's natural to have stress at times. Just like his slides saying, we're never going to cry again. course you are all going to cry. I very rarely cry. By now I'm gonna cry, again at some point.
Or very lightly, probably gonna break another bone. At some point. I'm not expecting to but I'm not too bothered are going to sneeze at some point, all of us are going to sneeze. All of us probably going to get hiccups at some point. These are just things that happen that just you know, just like emotions, we're gonna get angry, we're gonna feel sad, pass we're gonna fall in love, maybe fall out of love. We're gonna have to go through bereavement. So you don't get to go to a funeral once and I said, there's always going to be another funeral. And it's however horrible it is. That's just the fact of life. So having expecting to never ever have, you know, like se I'm never gonna have stress ever again.
Is was not realistic. These levels of stress is to never have stress that affects you in such a way and affects your life and limits your life. Then that that's that's the goal, I would say would be a good goal to have
to be able to have a level of stress that you can dis coachable. That's, you can do with
almost like I've said in the past when you've got the the overflow, like in a bar for a sink, the overflow so the stress can never get been above a certain level. And then it gets released. Because you'll need a degree of often, we say the word stress and it's perhaps not the right word, but we need we need a degree of awareness and a great degree of alertness. in us, as humans, that's how we survived for so long. So that could be called stress. But if we were walking around completely oblivious to any harm, completely relaxed, or all times, you're completely floppy, you know, almost stoned out your head, just walking around, then that could be dangerous for you and others. You know, you could stand up walking in a road getting hit by a car, you'd have a degree of alertness, which is connected to stress, but lower levels, enough stress to be able to move back to have your reflexes. So if you walk in a road and a car, suddenly, you know, turns a corner, you can get out of the way. The kind of level that maybe a parent has, or grandparent has a very small child, child goes to fall, you automatically catch the child. And it's kind of par you always ready to do that. But it's not unhealthy. It's not, it's not it doesn't make you ill. But it's, it's there. It's just that natural, natural, you know, need to help others and yourself. So ultimately, don't feel guilty. That's that's kind of what I wanted to say. I could have done that in one sentence. Okay, you said don't feel guilty, that's the end of the recording. Bye for now. Ultimately, don't feel guilty for illness. Don't feel guilty for for your stress levels of anxiety levels, or for not wanting to do something that perhaps you used to want to do. Because this is temporary or temporary. No feeling lasts, does it you know that? We all know that. The reality is, you know, told me a pleasurable feeling that has lasted forever. If you can do that, I can tell you about unpleasant feeling that lasts forever. So as soon as someone comes up with a feeling, a pleasurable feeling that continues forever and ever and ever, I mean throughout life throughout your life. Like some feeling that's and can't be interrupted by anything else. And you just got one feeling the whole time. One emotion, I'm talking about emotions here. One emotion, one strong emotion that's always there. There isn't. It's impossible. And people have been spending years years trying to find a way to do that. You know, people doing tantric stuff, trying to make certain feelings last for long periods of time. And they can make stuff last for long periods of time but not not as long as I want it to.
So if pleasant feelings can't last for ages and ages, never can unpleasant ones. Because we're mixture of feelings and emotions, continuously changing.
continuously changing. So any feeling you have is temporary. Any stress level that you have is temporary. It's basically there until the next feeling comes along like buses. Just moving along and stop at the bus stop. Stare for however long it's there and then it moves along.
And sometimes suppose it feels like you fought you had to get on that bus. So you had that feeling for a bit too long.
But eventually every bus gets to the end of its route, the end of its route, the end of its journey, every bus stops at some point. And any passengers left on there have to get off.
So even if you do go along for the ride, and you kind of almost hold on to that feeling, eventually is going to end because the journey has to end, you have to get off that bus. And then you can get to the point where you actually you're at the bus stop. And you can see the different emotions coming in past. And I will stop at the bus stop and maybe decide not to get on it. Maybe decide, maybe wait for a pleasurable feeling like you ride that bus for a while. Or maybe you decide to just watch them go past. In fact, it might get to the point where there's no one else at the bus stop. The only way the bus is gonna stop is if you put your arm out and wave your hand sort of bus stops. So perhaps you decide not to do that. And just watch them go past nice feelings, stressful feelings, feelings of guilt, feelings of this feelings of that you could let them go past this is one come in that you quite like the idea of maybe put your hand down and stop it and jump on. But regardless what you do, if you can stand at the bus stop all day and all night. And those feelings are gonna continue going past different feelings, different emotions, pleasure, pain, discomfort, anger, envy, stress, anxiety, lust, you guys all kinds of things. Just, you could be so many things going past. And you're like, Oh, okay. It's almost I didn't, I was angry about that. I just let that go past. Or maybe you decide to jump on and be angry for a bit. And then you remember, you can just jump off at any stop that you want. Or if you decided on staying on, I'm going to really get into the anger. Eventually, you got to get off anyway because the bus gets to the end of its journey. And you have to get off. So yeah, that brings us pretty much as opposed to the end of this journey of this particular recording. So I suppose it's not so much about feeling guilty or not feeling guilty about letting people down.
More really about don't feel guilty for being ill. Don't ever, ever feel guilty for being ill. And I really love them saying and almost come on the way I come mind you to not feel guilty for.
But it comes down to being kind to yourself again. I keep coming back to that and I will keep coming back to that.
Because I guess being kind to yourself is the antidote to quite a few things. And being gentle with yourself is something that could be the antidote to feeling guilty for being ill. So what would be the opposite of feeling guilty for being ill?
What would be the opposite emotion? Or would be the opposite feeling? flip it on its head. Don't try to do it in my own head now.
Caring, compassion, a chronic illness sense of being compassionate towards myself. Loving. Definitely compassion, being compassionate, showing compassion towards yourself. And that's going to mean different things to different people.
showing compassion to yourself. I wonder what you've come up with what you thought would be the opposite to
feeling guilty for being ill. Maybe you got something different from feeling compassionate. Feeling compassion towards yourself. So I'll leave you with that. Thank you for listening. And I'll speak to you probably tomorrow. So thank you. Remember,
to be kind to yourself. And especially to be gentle. Be really gentle. can hear the birds in the loft. Waking up, ready for a lovely day to take care of yourself, and I'll speak to you soon. Lots of love bye

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