[00:00:01] Hello and welcome to JasonNewland.com My name is Jason Newland Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes What else? What do I normally say? I'm sure I say something Oh, itchy! I've got an itchy side Hello, Vinnie!
[00:00:44] So, this is Let Me Boy To Sleep Monday's Boring Objects What can I talk about today? Have you not prepared? No, I haven't Why not? You should be prepared Are you not a professional? No
[00:01:19] Call yourself a professional? No What are you then? I don't know But you should know what you're doing No I don't know what I'm doing I'm just plodding along Hoping that I don't fall in a hole basically
[00:01:41] So, Monday's Boring Objects I want to talk about something that I've never talked about before It's a part of my life that I don't think I've ever even mentioned Which may surprise you
[00:02:10] And they'll know that I know that I've ever produced what I've never talked about here And that I've never talked about here With all means that I've never volunteered That I may not know it would have an interesting life But there is one thing I was thinking about this earlier when I was on the toilet.
[00:02:37] I don't know what I thought about it then. But it's something that I wanted to be. What the subject is going to be then. But I'll be talking about myself. But the subject is entrepreneurship. That's the subject.
[00:03:04] That's the boring subject for today's Monday's boring object. So entrepreneurship or entrepreneurs. Right from an early, quite an early age.
[00:03:31] I wanted to be successful in some kind of business. Clearly it never happened. But I kind of, I don't know what it was. Maybe it was the idea of working for myself.
[00:04:00] I saw my dad, he was self-employed. So he had a successful business. I used to like watching Del Boy on Only Fools and Horses. The ducking and diving. And Arthur Daly ducking and diving. I wasn't so big on the con aspect of that. You know, selling people cars that didn't have any brakes. That wasn't, you know, not really my style.
[00:04:29] But it made for a comedy show. So when I was in my, I think my first delve into any kind of entrepreneurship, money making outside of working for someone else, was probably when I was about 13.
[00:04:59] So, yeah, I'm just trying to, I'm trying to delve back to see. Probably 13, yeah. Yeah. So one of the things, so I started working, I think, when I was 12, part-time. I think 12 was the, that was the minimum age to do a paper round. I think.
[00:05:26] Might have been 11, but I think it was 12. And so, hmm, I get a little bit muddled up. Because I had so many different paper rounds. I had a morning paper round. I had an evening, like at different times.
[00:05:55] I had an evening paper round. I had a monthly delivering leaflets. And there was a fortnightly delivering these pamphlet things. I also worked in the bakery.
[00:06:22] Well, as well as I also worked in the, like, washing dishes in this restaurant. And then I worked in a bakery, or the bakehouse, they called it. So I started off working in the evenings, just washing up. Which was a cool job, actually. It was all right. So that was very busy, but it was okay. And I'd work during the day sometimes on a Saturday.
[00:06:50] And I think it was something like 75 pence an hour. Which may not seem a lot. But when I was 21 or 22, literally 10 years later, I still was only getting about £2 an hour.
[00:07:16] You know, so it was pretty, you know, I was probably better off then than I was when I left school. So financially, I mean. But then I didn't have to pay rent or buy food. So I guess it was a little bit different. So forgetting the jobs I had, there was...
[00:07:44] I don't know what it was, but... I started to think, hmm... What can I do to earn some money? I don't know why I wanted to earn money. Because I knew I could do a paper round and I could get money. It wasn't a lot, but it was still, you know, it was still okay.
[00:08:13] And I had multiple jobs going at the same times. At times. Why? I don't know why. But, yeah, I just... This feeling. This to do something.
[00:08:40] To, I don't know, make something of myself kind of... To be successful. It never happened. But, you know, I kind of really was... I was going for it. So I'm not sure which order it happened. But I'll focus on what I did at school first.
[00:09:09] And then I'll talk about what I did outside of school. When I was still at school. But what I did on the outside. And then I'll move into what I did once I left school. So this is how I work this out in my brain, okay? I categorize things. So I've broken it up into periods.
[00:09:39] So it's the period before I left school. Those couple of years, three years or whatever before I left school. And then there's periods when I was working at a chip shop. And when I left the chip shop. So that's a little period on its own. Can you hear that playing? Then there's another period. You know, so I've broken it up into periods.
[00:10:09] So the period before leaving school is then broken up into different periods. There's the period. It's the things I did at school. And the things I did outside of school. And then I break it in again into those things that, like at school. Those things that I was getting money for. And those things that I was owed money for. So at school, there's a few trends.
[00:10:39] One thing I realized is people kept running out of pens. So I bought a bunch of pens. And I would sell them. And I made a profit. But it was just, it was never going to buy me my new jet, you know. So that was a little bit boring. I was walking around. I could walk to school with like a whole satchel full of pens. And come home and made like maybe 50 pence profit.
[00:11:09] It really wasn't worth it. And then, but unfortunately the pens were rubbish as well. So that didn't really last. There was a reason they were so cheap. And then there was another trend. I mean pens weren't a trend. But there was a couple of trends that I kind of jumped on. One was gobstoppers.
[00:11:38] Gobstoppers became really, really, really popular. And if you don't know what a gobstopper is. It's basically, it just, it's called a gobstopper. Because you can't talk when it's in your mouth. Because it's so big. And it's like a, like a big ball. And eventually, when you suck the ball for long enough.
[00:12:05] It, it's got like maybe different tastes and stuff. And probably a little bit like, what's his name? Willy Wonka. It wasn't, they had a gobstopper didn't they? That was different flavours of dinner and stuff. Anyway, in the end, in the middle, right in the middle. There'd be like chewing gum. But it would take ages to get through it.
[00:12:35] And the teachers would confiscate it. They'd make you spit it out. If you had one in your mouth and they saw it. Which made it more attractive to the pupils. You know, so it was like a challenge to be able to get away with spending the whole lesson, 45 minutes with that, you know, something in your mouth.
[00:13:03] But what happened is people, I think what happened, did you hear that? It distracted me.
[00:13:33] So what it was is, I noticed that when, when one kid had something, all the other kids seemed to want it. Mainly the boys, to be fair. If one had it, others wanted it. But they couldn't have it. Because, you know, they didn't sell gobstoppers. The teacher didn't have a supply to sell to us.
[00:14:02] I probably would have got against education standards, possibly. But then, I thought, hmm. Because I saw, I had a friend who had one. And I said, can I have one? He said, yeah. And he said, it would be a pound. And I think they cost like 40 pence, 50 pence to buy. Maybe 20 pence to buy.
[00:14:32] You know, so he's like, okay. And I thought, hmm. So what I did is I bought about 10 of these. And the sales technique was just to basically walk around sucking. Or be in a classroom. Break time is good because people want stuff.
[00:14:55] And it's easier to, you know, exchange money and stuff during a break rather than at class time. So I made a few quid doing that. But another friend of mine was doing the same thing as well, actually. So it wasn't, I don't think it was really my, it wasn't really my invention, really.
[00:15:18] And then another thing happened where there was this trend where it was chucking coins at a wall. So let's say two people would chuck pound coins or 50 pence pieces against the wall. And whichever one got closest to the wall would win the other person's money. That's the simplest way to explain it.
[00:15:50] Sometimes it, yeah. It's a, it's a similar to bowls. You know, you've got to get the closest to the ball. To the white ball. You've got to get your bowls. So you kind of knock the other, the other person's ball out of the way. So it's a little bit like that. So you might bounce off the wall, but knock the other person's coin further away from the wall. And people were losing what nearly, what, every time someone lost.
[00:16:22] But then they'd like go double or nothing. Double or nothing. And so I saw that people were getting, they wanted to get their money back. And this is something that was happening every single break time. Lunch time break, two breaks at lunch time. Every day for quite a while. I think it got banned in the end.
[00:16:51] Yeah, that and the Ouija board, that got banned. And the gangs, they banned the gangs as well. Went through a little phase of having gangs. The Wanderers, the Warriors, the Wongs. Just because of the Wanderers movie. And I started my own gang called the Silver Eagles. Because no one wanted me to be in their gang.
[00:17:18] So I started my own gang, but I had the, it was kind of like a misfits gang. Yeah, it went a bit wrong. So everything got banned. Because I had people in my gang that were actually acting like a gang. They didn't, I don't think they realised it was just for fun.
[00:17:49] Yeah. Yeah. So, it's a, so then what I did is I thought people are losing their minds because they haven't got enough money to try and win back. So I started lending money. Because I had a, I had a couple of part-time jobs. So I had, I always had some cash. So I started taking like 10, 20 pounds to school with me.
[00:18:20] That's probably my life savings to be fair. But I'd, and I'd, I'd have all in like one pound coins. And I started to lend people money. And I had a little book. I kept track of everything. I'd have interest added on. I don't remember what the interest was. It was a long time ago. And I didn't realise how hard it is to do, to be a money lender. Really, it's not an easy job.
[00:18:51] And I always thought, you know, you see these, I mean it's many movies and TV shows and that I've seen, you know, how money lenders operate. In later years, you know, I've sort of like how they can be quite, quite naughty, you know, when it comes to getting their money back.
[00:19:19] But after doing it for a little while, I realised that people will make, they'll take the, whatever you want to call it, as much as they can. They will avoid paying it. And sometimes they'll outrightly like say, nope, you're not getting it back.
[00:19:41] And it leaves, you know, once one person does that, then the whole thing's gone. Now, this happened to me. Someone decided they weren't going to pay me back. So, I collected. And I got a friend to come. And he collected it for me.
[00:20:11] And I disliked the whole situation so much. It wasn't like awful. But it was very much, yeah, it, I stopped it before it got out of hand. And then that's when I realised this, that life is not for me. You know, a little bit of, um, a little taste of that. It was like, no.
[00:20:41] Over like, £2.50, you know what I mean? It's like, no. It's really silly. Because my friend was, my friend was saying, I'll give the money, you need to owe the money. It was in the toilet in school. And this kid was saying, no, you ain't getting nothing. And he did end up paying. But it just, no. It wasn't, it wasn't. It just wasn't for me. It wasn't for him, even my friend.
[00:21:09] Because he's like, no, this isn't really what I want to be doing. So, I think that was a good thing that it taught me that that sort of lifestyle was not for me. I'm a bit, I guess, is the word vanilla? Would be a little bit, a little bit peaceful, I think.
[00:21:39] Just had a bit of an interruption then. Someone knocked on, no, they didn't knock on the door. They knocked on the phone. They rang on the door. They rang me up. That's it. Okay, where was I talking about? What was I talking about? When? Earlier. But what was it? It was something. Hmm. Yes. Gobstoppers.
[00:22:08] Coins against the wall. Money lending. I didn't go really to plan. Change of mind with that stuff. And I think that was the end of my entrepreneurial career at school. That was it for the first school thing.
[00:22:31] Outside of school, three different businesses that I started. And by businesses, I mean I put postcards in the local shop window. That's what I mean by businesses with my telephone number, my home telephone number.
[00:22:59] The first one, there was three different ones. There was one for car cleaning. There was one for, what was it, car cleaning, dog walking. And there was another one for looking after kids, babysitting.
[00:23:24] Now, I used to babysit my little brother, so I kind of knew my way around being a babysitter. So I thought, oh, maybe I could do this, maybe make some money out of it. Because, you know, I was getting nothing for looking after my little brother. All through the summer and in the evenings and like between school, I say evenings, between school and like six o'clock I was looking after him.
[00:23:54] And yeah, I just, it was quite easy. Well, yeah, generally. So I thought maybe I could make some money out of that. But I didn't get any, I might have even put an advert in the local paper as well. I didn't do any leaflets. I didn't make any leaflets at this point. I don't think I did. Maybe I did.
[00:24:23] But I think it was mainly just, if I remember rightly, it was just one news agent that I put my postcard in the window. Maybe I did it in two. I'm trying to think of the different places in town. There was definitely one place where I used to have my paper around. Anywhere else? In town? Where was there another news agent?
[00:24:53] There was one down the seafront. And there was one on the way to my nan's house where I used to live when I was eight. That's the only ones I can remember as far as news agents go in that town.
[00:25:20] There probably was others, but not like within where I would go. Oh no, is that a news agent? Yeah, there was a news agent. Of course there was, which was not near where I was talking about it, but it was near where my dad moved to. And I lived with him for a little while. It was opposite the co-op.
[00:25:49] And it was kind of weird because it was next to a laundrette. And then next to the laundrette was a hairdresser's. And opposite that was the co-op. So it was like there was three shops, well, the laundrette, to three buildings with three commercial businesses.
[00:26:17] So if you were standing outside the co-op that I worked in, looked across the road, on the left-hand side was, was it Wadgate Road? Blimey. I don't know if that's, that's, that's come into my mind. It might be the road. So there was this news agent's, quite a spacey shop actually. And then there was the laundrette.
[00:26:43] And then there was, on the right-hand side, there was the women's, I think it was like her hairdressers. Because in them days, you know, so a little while ago, hairdressers would quite often just be for females. Barbers would be for men. But then some hairdressers would have different sections. One for men, one for women.
[00:27:11] Not, not, it wasn't so much segregation, it's just, unless it was. Because I went to a hairdressers that had a men's section. And it was a women's section. Yeah, for some reason. I got to get, yeah, I had my hair cut in the women's section once because I had a perm. I know it's a half perm. I was still at school. So I had a half perm because, because I've got no idea.
[00:27:40] Because I was 15, I guess, 14, 15. Seemed like a good idea. It was weird, really, because I also dyed my hair dark brown. Now you might think, what's weird about dyeing your hair dark brown and having a half perm? These are two different separate, different separate occasions. Well, firstly, my hair's already dark brown. So that was a bit pointless.
[00:28:09] And once my hair got past a certain length, it went curly anyway. I got naturally curly hair. I just, I guess it has to get to a certain length before it goes curly, curly. I'm talking about what, when I used to have a full sexy head of hair.
[00:28:34] Yeah, the same hairdressers that I got my, I think I did the colouring. I coloured my hair from a box. You know, from the suit, I don't know. Hair dye, I guess. So I did that myself. Made a mess of it. Had a big, yeah. It was a bit weird going to school that day. Because it does, it doesn't just dye your hair.
[00:29:04] If you leave it, it dyes your skin. Temporarily at least. And so I was going to, I was, honestly, I was like, the teacher said, you can't come to school with blackface. I said, I'm not. You know, because in that day it wasn't, it was okay to do that. But it was frowned upon even then. But I said, I'm not. I wouldn't do that stuff. It's, so we'll take it off. Why you've got makeup on?
[00:29:33] I said, it's not. It's dye. I've literally, it dripped down my face. I was told to sit with it for an hour or whatever to let it soak in. So I thought I'd do it for two hours because it would definitely be done. And then rinse it off. And then, but it didn't say anything about my face. And the teacher said, were you not aware that it was all down your face? I said, yeah, but I didn't, I was focusing on my hair.
[00:30:05] He said, well, don't you ever wash your face? I said, yeah, I have done. He said, what do you mean you have done? Do you not wash your face every day? And I said, were you asking? I don't ask you personal questions. I don't ask you whether or not you flush. I said, what do you mean whether or not I flush? I said, I don't ask you if you flush a toilet when you've done a poo. I said, well, everyone does.
[00:30:33] But I said, so? I don't know if you do. He said, are you just saying this, Jason, to distract the listeners from the fact that you said blackface earlier? I said, no, it's a term that people use. It's not a term I use, but it's a term that's used for someone that, like, puts brown paint on their face.
[00:31:00] And it's not acceptable anymore. It was in the 80s. He said, we're in the 80s. I said, I know, but this is getting confusing. You'll talk about my listeners in 30, 40 years' time, but we're now in 1984, and things are different now. He said, yeah, I know. And I said, but that's not what I was doing.
[00:31:27] It literally, it stained my face. He said, are you sure? I said, you can see it. Try wiping it off. He said, no, I don't want to touch you. I said, is it because of the health and guidelines and child protection? He said, no, you just look dirty. You just smell bad, and I don't want to, I don't, you look like you might have fleas. I said, well, you can't say that to me. You're a teacher. And he said, I'm not a teacher.
[00:31:57] I said, what do you mean? You're a teacher. You're here at the school. He said, I'm the janitor. Why would a teacher be cleaning the toilets? I said, oh, I did wonder about that. Which brings me to the next question. Why are you asking me if I flush? You literally see me flush. Every day, when you see me. Why are you hanging around the toilets anyway? And I said, well, that's what I was thinking about you. Now I know you're a cleaner. He said, what's your excuse?
[00:32:30] I said, no, I don't have one. And I said to him, be honest with me, Mr. Janitor. Do you feel we've managed to move away from, you know, what I said earlier? And he said, no, I'm not sure. Do you think maybe everyone's forgotten? I said, I don't know. Because it wasn't used in a derogatory way.
[00:32:55] It was literally just used to someone thinking I was doing that when I wasn't doing that. I said, yeah, but it's the term. It's just not a nice term. I said, but I wasn't using that term. I don't use that term. But that's what the newspapers use. Or that's what the news uses when a celebrity comes out and does something like that. I mean, do you remember Ted Danson in the early 90s when he was dating Whoopi Goldberg? He painted.
[00:33:23] He went to a fancy dress party and painted his face a different color. And he got into a lot of trouble. Wow. He said, wow.
[00:33:55] Janice said. How do you remember things like that? Well, more importantly, why do you remember things like that? I said it's always handy to get me out of trouble. I can use it as an example. Because if someone like Ted Danson, who was a legend. He is a legend. Star of Cheers. Been in loads of movies. Loads of TV shows.
[00:34:24] He's a legend. And he's still a legend now. He still makes good TV shows now. Even though he's in his 90s or whatever. And at the time, he was dating Whoopi Goldberg. Who was also arguably one of the most famous actresses in Hollywood at that time. Huge star. And she obviously didn't care that he was putting makeup on.
[00:34:56] He said, oh. Then Janet said, what do you think about Whoopi Goldberg now then? I said, what do you mean? Well, she seems to come up with quite a lot of criticism ever since doing that View show. We actually have a TV show based on that in the UK called Angry Women. Not Angry Women. Moaning. Not Moaning Women.
[00:35:26] Wicked Women. I tell you, it's got a name. It's been shut down anyway. They've took it off air. Moaning, not moaning. It was... I used to watch it. It was quite good. There's a few presenters on there that I really liked. Were women... Something women. And it was kind of a copy of The View. I think The View was first. They might not have been.
[00:35:57] But anyway, the janitor was saying, oh, what do you think about Whoopi Goldberg now? I said, well... I said, what you don't realise is... I was a fan of Whoopi Goldberg before she was famous. He said, no, you wasn't. You weren't a fan of it. I said, yes, I was. See, Whoopi Goldberg did comedy before she was an actress. And she had a hit stage show on Broadway.
[00:36:28] Which was one of the best shows I've ever seen. I wouldn't say I've seen it. I had it on video. And I also had it on album as well. I still can't remember what it was called. But it was phenomenal. It was funny. It was insightful. Intelligent. Intelligent. She did different characters. It's a one-woman show. Brilliant. And I think she won BAFTAs or whatever.
[00:36:57] She won loads of awards for it. And that's what got her into, I guess, into being on TV and being in movies. Because I was such a big stand-up fan. And I collected albums and comedy. I need to start doing that again. I need to start collecting, having a comedy collection. I like collecting things.
[00:37:26] I like looking at them. See, if I had a row of comedy DVDs all along the wall, I'd look at them and think, Oh, look at them. They're all comedy DVDs. I collected them. I spent 10 years collecting them. And it'd have to be specific. It'd have to be all stand-up.
[00:37:56] And it'd be in groups. So maybe I'd have... Maybe that's why I categorise things, memories, in groups. Because it's a very librarian kind of way to do things. Which means maybe I should have been a librarian. That did my... You know, I used to work in this children's charity. And this is when I was a counsellor at the charity as well.
[00:38:26] And I couldn't work there anymore because of the... It was just... The working environment was not very nice. But I still stayed as a counsellor. Part of my job when I was there, for eight months I was there, was to do admin. Pretty much just to be on the reception. That was my job. There's more to it. I'll tell you one day. But it was... It wasn't good. It was not good.
[00:38:54] But one of my roles was to... Alphabet... To organise the files by alphabetic order. Okay. So I left in 2011 August. I went back probably about 2016. Maybe 2017. Maybe 2018. It was around that time. It was quite a few years later.
[00:39:24] Looking at maybe... Doing some voluntary work there. Because I did voluntary work before. And I liked being a volunteer. Just didn't like working for them. Because if you volunteer... People can't... I mean, they might try it. But they can't be rude to you. You know, they can't... They just like... They have to... I say they have to. But generally... Volunteers...
[00:39:53] Hold all the cards, really. You know, so... A manager, a supervisor... They got no choice but to really be gentle and respectful. I'm not saying that's always the case. But, you know... In my experience, that seemed to be the case. And that's what it was when I was... As a volunteer there.
[00:40:22] As soon as I started working there... Wow. I was treated very differently. It was... Stark opposite. Amazing. Considering it was a charity for children. So... Anyway, I thought... Maybe I'll go and volunteer again. I was looking for some volunteer places. Get me out. You know, just to do something.
[00:40:52] And... So I go into this building just out of interest. Like... Half hoping that the manager... Would have gone. Moved on. Got a different job. You know, hopefully she wasn't there anymore. But she was there, unfortunately. But it was worth a try. So I went in there. I'm talking to a man... I'd never met before. He was in charge of the volunteers. So he was saying... Oh, we might have some volunteer...
[00:41:22] Work. And then in through the door comes... Not the manager. She did turn up later on. But a lady that I used to work with... That was in the counselling office. I used to go really well with her. She came in. She was the one that would give me... Tell me what I needed to do with the... The... Client files. And the alphabetical stuff.
[00:41:51] You know, where to put it and stuff. She came in telling me that I had completely ruined everything. And put everything into the files... In the wrong alphabet. You know, unalphabetically. And all it was is by surname. So, you know... And it's like... And I said... What are you talking about? She said... Yeah, yeah. You messed it all up. She made it a complete nightmare. Because every seven years... I think it was...
[00:42:20] They had to go through all the files... And get rid of anything that was over seven years old. So they were going... They were now in that process again. Having... And I was going through that process... When I was working there. So it was the next turn to do that. And she was saying... You've made such a mess. Everything's in the wrong order. And under wrong alphabet and stuff. I said... Well, first of all... Hi. How are you?
[00:42:51] You know, maybe say hello first. So they're just... Moaning at me. Desperate women. Wicked women. What was it called? I can't remember. And I said... Are you sure... That it was me... And not... One of the... Many, many, many people... That have come and gone... In the last seven years. I mean, come on.
[00:43:20] How can you... Bear in mind... That... The files at the time... The seven years worth of files... Would have been put in there. Okay. How can... But I'm the one to blame for the whole thing. It's like... Wow. And I was amazed. It's like... Really? And the one thing I can do... I can... I can...
[00:43:51] Alphabetalize... Thizz... Thizz... That makes sense. I know... I might have to... Do it in my head... Or do it on my fingers... To figure out what comes before... But I know A comes first. I know Z's at the end somewhere. And then... O... They're kind of in the middle-ish... You know... I might have to work it out... But...
[00:44:19] I know that... The F is after B. Just things like that. You know... I don't need a chart on the wall... For me to look at it. But I know the alphabet. I can't do it backwards. There's a lot of things... I can't do backwards. I can't do a wee-wee backwards. You know... Why would I... Do... I can walk backwards... But I will bang into things.
[00:44:50] Did you know... Did I ever tell you... The only time I ever... Ever had a black eye... In my whole life... Was... When I was walking home from school... This... This kid... So I'm like shouting... At this kid... And he's looking at me... And he bangs into a lamppost... Because he's distracted by me...
[00:45:18] And I'm laughing my head off... And I turn around... And I bang into a lamppost... Now... Back in them days... The lampposts were concrete... They weren't like metal... Like they are now... Not saying that... Banging into a metal... Lampost wouldn't be problematic... But... These were solid... Concrete... Lamposts... And... My eye just... Like...
[00:45:47] Finn is looking at me... Do you like that sound? I was so proud of my black eye... My shiner... Really... Really loved it... Don't know why it's called a shiner... But I loved it... It's... And it was shit... Like really my whole eyebrow... Was like... Blah... I was so proud...
[00:46:12] I was like... Walking around like I'd just been in a big fight... And I was a big man... I was probably about... 12... 13... Or whatever at the time... It's like... Yeah... But unfortunately my friend was just going around telling everyone... Yeah... He walked into a lamppost... He'd already told everyone before I got to school the next day... So I'm walking around like the big I am...
[00:46:43] And... Er... Everyone already knew... So people were saying... Er... What happened to you? Are you okay? I said... Oh... You should see the other person... And I said that a few times... Eventually someone said... What? The lamppost? The lamppost looked fine this morning... Still standing up... Oh... How do you know? Dean told everyone... Really? He said... Yeah...
[00:47:13] We didn't tell everyone... But everyone then just spread it around... Because... Er... He said that you were going to brag about being in a fight... And how you beat up 10 people... And... Er... Sorry... Why you got a... A black eye... Because one of them got lucky... I said... Okay... I walked into a lamppost... What's wrong with that? It's funny... But...
[00:47:42] It's not hugely glamorous... Is it? Yeah... That's the only time... Never... I've been bruised... I've had bruises and stuff... But I've never actually had a... Proper... Full... Proper shiner... The only time in my life... I ever got one of them... So yeah... I had my hair... Dark brown... A half a perm...
[00:48:11] I never really understood what a half a perm was... But I was intrigued... Very intrigued... I didn't know if it was going to... Half my hair was going to be permed... And now a half would just be... Left... See... I didn't realise... When I was... Between the ages of... 20... 24... Some... Summer 20... Well... To... 1994... I grew my hair long...
[00:48:41] So I had long hair... All the way down to the... My... Middle of my back... For years... But because my hair is so curly... It was... Almost impossible to manage... I'd have it in a ponytail most of the time... I didn't know that it was possible to straighten the hair... I could have straightened it... It could have been lovely... I could have still... Well I wouldn't still have it because...
[00:49:11] I imagine... My hair would have fallen out much quicker... If I'd have kept the ponytail... Because it really pulls on the roots doesn't it? So... I did think about growing my hair long... Just for a laugh really... Just to see what it would look like now... Being... A bit... Mildly... Slightly...
[00:49:43] Marginally... How it would work out... But I just never got around to it... Because... For some reason... The longer my hair gets... The border I look... Which is weird... Because the sides get very curly... So I've got very thick curly hair... At the back... At the sides... Not so much at the front... There's... There's... There's...
[00:50:12] It's kind of like... Looking down... On a forest... You know when you look down the forest... And there's like... Really thick forest... Then you get an opening... And... On the... On one side... There's the... Like... Bits of opening... That's like the front of my hair... And on... The crown of my head... It's like a lake... It's... That's just like... An opening completely... That's... That's kind of what my head...
[00:50:42] The top of my head looks like... I don't know if that's a good visual... I did have my hair bleached... In... 1980... 1988... So I wanted to be like... Bross... So I had my hair bleached... Both my ears pierced...
[00:51:12] I got a lot of attention... I wanted a lot of attention... And I was getting it... But not from women... And I couldn't understand it... I was with my friend... And we were going in... And it's like... I said... Why are all these men... Are chatting me up... What was going on? And it turned out... We was in a gay bar... Didn't know... Didn't know there was a gay bar in town... And... The reason I liked it in there...
[00:51:42] Because it was friendly... And it wasn't like a gay nightclub... It was just a bar... But it was run by a gay bloke... And... The atmosphere in there was... Really nice... Really nice... There was no arguments... There was no... No... It was just really nice... So I go in there... Because some people I knew went in there... And we just have a chat... And... It was bright... And it was lovely... I didn't know it was a gay club...
[00:52:11] Or a gay bar... Or a... Because back then... It wasn't official... In a sense... It wasn't... Like an official gay bar... It was just... A bar... Run... For... I guess... For his... People that he knew... And... For people to feel comfortable going there... And that's one of the things about... I didn't know I was going to talk about gay bars... But... I've been in lots of gay nightclubs... Over the years... When I was younger...
[00:52:42] The one thing... The two things I noticed... One thing I liked... And one thing I didn't like... I liked the atmosphere... Such a good atmosphere... Never ever seen trouble... In a gay bar... Or a gay club... Not saying that it never happened... But... I never saw it... And... You know... In London... You go anywhere... You know what I mean...
[00:53:11] There's usually something happens... During the night... Nothing... Nothing happened... Ever... When I was out... I mean they're probably all too busy... Checking me out... Right... Um... And then... The thing I didn't... Wasn't so impressed with... And I don't know why this is... And I've been in quite a few... Nightclubs... During that period... Every single... Gay club... Or gay nightclub... Rather I went to...
[00:53:41] There was no lights in the toilets... I couldn't figure it out... Like... How am I supposed to know where... I remember saying... How am I supposed to know where everything is... And you just follow the... Follow the... Follow the sounds... Follow the noises... It's like... Does anyone know where the cubicle is? I'm like... It's over here... I'm like... Okay... Um... I'll lead you there... I'm like... No it's okay...
[00:54:09] No I don't need you to hold my hand... Oh you've got lovely hands... Okay... But it's... Yeah... I remember... Yeah... I remember... Got a girlfriend from a gay bar once... It was brilliant... Because they say... Oh... You can't... You can't pick up women in a gay bar... It's like... Actually... I think... Women... Were there the same reason I was there... Because it was a nice atmosphere... It was safe... Unthreatening...
[00:54:38] It was nice... Just a lovely place... So I used to meet women... Well... Met one... Particular... Female... And... I'm sure she was there for exactly the same reason... And... We got on and... We ended up dating... And we had a lot in common... You know... Just... Chilled out... Didn't really want all that... The hassle... You know...
[00:55:06] It's quite nice to just... She didn't want to be somewhere where she was going to be hit on all the time... And... And... I quite like being somewhere where I was being hit on all the time... You know... And... Yeah... We ended up going out... And... Yeah... I remember she... What was it? Yeah... We couldn't go out... We... We kind of... To be... We had the first night together...
[00:55:36] Uh... On that night... But we did arrange to meet each other the next day... And... She phoned me up and said... Oh... Uh... She couldn't... Meet me... Until later on in the day... Because... She had to get a prostate exam... So I thought... Okay... Well... We'll meet up later on... And... It was good... It was a nice romantic time... Yeah... So... What other things? I...
[00:56:09] My next... Delve into entrepreneurship was... Probably... When I was at the chip shop... Because... Oh yeah... I did get... A couple of phone calls... For the... Child minding service... Or babysitting service... And they all said the same thing... Are you a boy?
[00:56:39] It's like... Okay... Weird question... I said... Yeah... Alright... Never mind... Bye... It's like... In the end... After a few of these calls... I said... Wait a minute... What's the problem? I'm not leaving my kid with a boy... We figured that you were... If you're offering a babysitting service... That you'd be female... I said... What difference does it make? I said... I babysit my little brother all the time... And ironically...
[00:57:09] I didn't say this to the person... Because... I couldn't really predict the future to him... But I would have said to him... And... What I'm going to say to you is... Is... I had multiple people ask me to babysit their kids... As I got older... Because... You know... When I was in a chip shop... There was... One... Two... Three... Three different people asked me to babysit for them... And they'd pay me...
[00:57:38] They'd give me five quid or whatever... And it meant that they could go out for a meal... They could go out and do something... And I'd just turn up when they were already in bed... So... I'd just go watch TV... Watch a big... Big... Coloured TV and stuff... It was easy... Just sitting there... For a few hours... They'd come back... And I'd go home... Or they'd give me a lift home... If... If I... You know... Was... If they weren't drunk...
[00:58:09] So... I did it a few times... And I did it again... When I worked in... The co-op... I looked after my friend's kids... Used to babysit... I think that was it... But... No, I also... I was actually... A childminder... For... Probably about... Four months... Five months... When I was... Eighteen... Actually lived in... Like a living nanny...
[00:58:39] But all my... My only job really was just to... Take her to school... The rest of the time... I'd just be... I'd be in the flat while she was in bed... So... I'd have to make sure that she was safe... And she'd be asleep anyway... And they'd be doing a night shift... So I did that for a while... And then I'd take her... Yeah, I'd take her to school in the morning... That's it... And that was it... Didn't... I'm not sure... Maybe... No, I didn't pick her up from school...
[00:59:08] I think the... The... The mother picked her up from school... Because she was up by then... So she'd be in bed by seven... And then she'd be up again... Probably by two... Two or three... Two... Probably... The school was only around the corner... But I couldn't really use that as a... As a defence... When I was a kid... Saying to this person on the phone... What difference does it make...
[00:59:38] For my boy or a girl? I didn't really get it, to be honest... I didn't understand... I didn't see what the difference would be... But... Yeah, I didn't get any work anyway... And then when I was at the chip shop... It got... It got a bit silly... Because I had literally... I was selling my furniture... Just so I could get by... Because... My dad... Had all my furniture in storage... From my bedroom...
[01:00:08] So... When I got that flat... He moved in... You know... As far as the furniture goes... Probably the TV... I'm thinking about it... I probably did get the TV... So it was in storage... I was wondering the other day... What happened to that TV... I got my bed... I got... Wardrobe... Bed...
[01:00:39] Wardrobe... There probably wasn't much more... Probably... Maybe a chair... That was about it really... There wasn't like... A lot of... Things... I didn't have like... Huge amounts of... Belongings... I wonder where everything went... Must have had some stuff... Because it was in storage... Downstairs... In the garage... Where... At my...
[01:01:08] Stepnan's place... Huh... I mean... All my weights... And my... Punch bags... And all that stuff... I sold... Before I even moved into the flat... Above the chip shop... So I didn't have any of that stuff anymore... Because I wasn't able to use that... I thought it was a point... Never enough... I can't use it... Because at the time... I didn't know I was ever gonna... Find anywhere else to live... Yeah...
[01:01:40] So I got to the point... Where I was sleeping on the floor... On a mattress... In the living room... Didn't... Really have any belongings... So I started to... Well... What can I do? So... I started to be a bit of a... A wheeler dealer... And I knew some people... That had stuff to sell... Or stuff for me to buy...
[01:02:10] To sell... And... Sometimes they'd let me have it... And I'd pay them... Once I got the money... From the person I was selling it to... Which is quite a good deal for me... Because I didn't have any sort of cash... To play with... So I did that for a bit... Sold a few little bits and bobs... Sold a fridge freezer... That was probably my biggest sale... I think I made about... 45 pounds for that... Which was... Pretty much double... What I was getting a week...
[01:02:40] In my pocket... So that was... You know... Quite a nice bit of money... Er... What else? Then I got... What I started doing... I met a jeweller... Who was one of the customers... And he was telling me... That there was... Money in jewellery... And I think he was kind of retired... He had a jewellery store... Retired... And he'd been in London or something... But he... Still kind of... Did a little bit on the side...
[01:03:10] You know... So I talked to him... And I was like... Oh... Sometimes he'd show me catalogs... I'd be sitting on his lap... And he'd be showing me... Catalogs and bits of the... The jewellery... And like saying... Well you could... The markup price is for that... So... You can... You can spend... Er... A hundred pound on something... And sell it for like... Three fifty... Four hundred... Because the more...
[01:03:39] Something costs... The more valuable it feels... To the person buying it... But the markup is really high... And... I thought... Oh... So... I kind of looked into it... And again... This man... Decided... He said he could sell me stuff... So he gave me a catalog...
[01:04:09] Again... I would... Buy the stuff... I would sell it... And then he would... Provide me... With that... And I would get the money for him... So... That's kind of... I would order from him... And sell it to people... Now I sold a couple of rings... But it didn't really go very far... It was... There's only so much you can... Do... When you work in a chip shop... Because...
[01:04:37] It was quite hard for me to... To present myself as successful... To the people on the other side of the counter... The customers... Successful enough to... Depart with their money... For jewellery... When... I stunk of fish... And I was wearing... Just... Dirty...
[01:05:07] Well not dirty... Clothes that were just horrible... And... I... Yeah... I didn't... I didn't really... I didn't fit the part... I got a couple of sales... But you know... It didn't work great... But it was something... So I... I kind of... Made a little bit of money... My friend came around once with some... A big... Black bag full of... Cigarettes...
[01:05:41] That was... He... He had a friend... We were going to sell them in the pubs... And... So I stored them... This is before I moved into the flat... So this is a long time ago... Before I moved into the... The flat above the chip shop... So this is like 40... Wow... 40 years ago... And...
[01:06:09] So we were all ready to go out that night... And... You know... Going to the pubs and just... So I couldn't even get served in the pubs... I was what... 15 at the time... So I said... Let's go around and... You know... Sell these cigarettes to people... And he came around... I thought... Alright let's get ready to go... And he said... No... There's a problem... I said... What? And he showed me the newspaper... And... He didn't know where the cigarettes had come from...
[01:06:38] So he spent the rest of the evening... Disposing of them... Because... You know... It was dodgy... I was like... I can't believe it... I really... I didn't mind being a wheeler... I was trying to be a wheeler dealer... But I wasn't trying to be a criminal... I'm a criminal... Boo-ro-roo... So yeah... That wasn't... That wasn't great... I mean... Ideally... It would have just sort of... It wasn't 100% sure it was from there...
[01:07:08] But... It just seemed a little bit of a coincidence... No one sort of knew... No one... Well... No one that did know... Would tell... Which is probably the right thing anyway... But... So... We're walking around... Disposing of them... Hours... Literally... Taking them out of packets and... Breaking them up... One by one... There must have been... There was a lot... A lot... There was...
[01:07:37] Yeah... A lot... A lot of money's worth actually... In today's money... That would be worth... A couple of thousand pounds worth of cigarettes now... Because it's about 20 pound a packet now... So... Yeah... At least 100 packs probably... Maybe even more than that...
[01:08:07] So yeah... It's... After that... I didn't... I thought... No... I don't think I'm gonna... I'm not gonna sell contraband... Not contraband... But I just... The idea of... I didn't wanna sell stolen goods... I mean it might not have been... But I didn't wanna do that anyway... Because I was in such a small town... You couldn't get away with it... And when I moved to London... I was buying stuff... All the time that was... Snide...
[01:08:36] Or dodgy... Stuff that would come in on the boats... I don't mean... I wasn't buying immigrants... I wasn't buying illegals... No... There was like... You know... Tapes... That were... What do you call them? Like copies of stuff... Snide... I suppose that's what they're called... That's what they call them... But yeah... So... That was the end of that criminal empire...
[01:09:08] Just wasn't for me... And then... I... Travelled to London... To the main place... Where they sell jewellery... And... This is probably a little bit later... Probably... Yeah... That was a couple of years later... Probably about 1989... I went to London... And I bought... I probably spent about £100... On jewellery... Brought it back...
[01:09:38] Trying to sell it... And... I was even walking through the train... Trying to sell it to people on the train... What was going on in my mind? I didn't sell anything... But... I don't know where I got the... Confidence... Maybe stupidity... But confidence... Where did I get that from? To be able to walk up to complete strangers on a train...
[01:10:08] That was sitting there... And try and sell them... Jewellery... Out of a carrier bag... It didn't even have... There's no... I don't think they even had boxes... Which was a bit silly... Like... Yeah... In the end... I'm not sure... I think I did sell some... But I think I didn't sell many... I did sell some... Not on the train... But... Afterwards...
[01:10:37] I might have given a few away... But another thing I did is... I bought the Exchange and Mart... Which was a magazine... And... Very famous for... It was very famous... I'm not sure if it's still around... It might be a website now... But people used to sell... Their cars on there... Buying and selling cars... They also had...
[01:11:06] Buying and selling number plates... It was a very... That was a very kind of... Specialised thing... But there's also... A business section... Where... You could... Phone up... Or send off... For... A business kit... Absolutely free... And it'd be a free business idea... You go along and... They just send it to you in a post... And you'd give it a go... And see if you could...
[01:11:34] Make money from it... And I did that... For every single business opportunity there was... And I remember... I came downstairs one morning... And I had... Probably about 45... It was a brilliant day... I had about 45 packages... Or envelopes with stuff in... With all these different things... These different... You know...
[01:12:03] Because they were just giving stuff away free... Trying to get people to sell it... Like samples and stuff... It was so good... There was... There was... Financial plans... There was... Even money lending... Which... Perhaps... Wasn't a good thing to me... To get involved in the game... But the one thing I did... Take up... I did sort of delve into the jewellery...
[01:12:30] I tried to start a business as a jeweller... Um... Kind of... In person... I had this idea that I'd be... I'd call myself Mr. Gold... And I'd travel... I'd go around the pubs... And... I'd wear lots of jewellery... And a suit... And everyone would come to me... For their jewellery requirements... And I'd just been known in the local town... And that would be...
[01:12:59] If someone got engaged... They'd come to me... Because... I would get them... A reduced rate... Than what they would get in... A jewellers... But it would still be the same quality... Didn't quite work out... That was the plan... And so I had leaflets made up... And... You know... All this stuff done... Yeah...
[01:13:29] I had necklaces... And... Yeah... It didn't quite work... The next thing I tried... Was perfume... Now... This company... I still feel a little bit... Giddy thinking about it... Because it was exciting... They sent me... A whole pack of perfumes... A big sample pack... Like... Big... You know... Would go through the letterbox...
[01:13:58] And then you might argue... Well just because it wouldn't go through the letterbox... Doesn't mean it's... Doesn't mean it's like big... But... It was big... It was... Kind of like... Suit... I don't know... Not suitcase size... But... Briefcase size maybe... Maybe a bit smaller than briefcase... And the samples were nice... Really nice...
[01:14:26] And there'd be... It was so... I felt professional... So what I did... I started going around to people I knew... And it'd be... Almost like an Ann Summers party... But with perfume... But without any... Laughter... Or people... So I guess there's nothing like an Ann Summers party...
[01:14:57] But I knew a few people... A few females... And I just like... Try that... Because back in them days... Perfume... It's not... See things were different... There wasn't a lot of... Is it cologne that men wear? Which is basically just perfume isn't it? So there wasn't a lot of... Really kind of men perfume... Like there is now... Not that I... I don't wear cologne...
[01:15:27] I just like... I like an old fashioned BO... I think that's perfect... Woah... Mmm... I thought you were coming... I could smell you from a block off... A block off? A block away? A block away... A mile away... So... It's weird though... Because I've known a few people... Like really...
[01:15:57] Really bad BO in that... And... I don't know... I was sitting there... I was sitting there... Working in the place... And... The persons... I wasn't far from their armpit... It just... The working environment... Perhaps I need to explain that... But you know... I could smell them... And... I was also... Near the microwave... And the microwave... Was heating up a pie...
[01:16:29] And it was weird... Because I was kind of getting... A little bit of a similar smell... From both his heart... His armpit... And the microwave... And they were almost like... They were mixing together... Really... Like having a little dance in the air... The two smells were... I don't know if it's symbiotic... Or whatever... Like a little symbiotic...
[01:16:57] Bouncing on a symbiotic trampoline... I don't know... But I was like... Oh... That's weird... And then I started to think... Is... The pie smelling like his armpits... Or is the armpits smelling like that pie? Now I didn't know what kind of pie it was... Because... I wasn't the one...
[01:17:27] Heating the pie up... So... And the pies all had different... Bottoms of... Like tin foil... Obviously you don't put the tin foil in the microwave... But they all had... Different... So I'm standing there thinking... What's I sitting down? Sometimes I sit down when I want to enjoy a smell... And try and figure out what the... Substance is...
[01:17:57] Especially if there's two different smells... Sometimes I need to rest my legs... On this occasion... I think I was just standing... Yeah... Because he was very tall... That's why I was able to get to the arm... Not get to the armpits... But that's why the armpits were a little bit closer to me... And I didn't actually have my nose in his armpit... That would have been inappropriate... To do that when there was customers around... But the microwave was also to the right of me...
[01:18:25] He was to the left of me... Because we was in a... Like a... A food... Environment... And I thought... I wonder what kind of pie it is then... Is it... A chicken... Pie? Is it a vegetable pie? I don't know why I'm squeaking when I say the word pie... Pie?
[01:18:51] But they had different metal covers... Like... Or not covers... But holders... So... The chicken ones were yellow... The... I think the steak ones were oblong... With purple bombs... Purple... Aluminium... Or... Aluminum...
[01:19:21] Aluminium is the correct way to say that... But the bottom... Of the one was silver... Aluminium... Which meant it was a beef and onion pie... And I thought to myself... Beef and onion... Beef... And onion... I didn't realise I was saying it out loud... The customers were looking at me a bit weird...
[01:19:49] The person I was working with was like... What are you talking about? And... But then one of the customers shouted out... No, he's talking about my pie... It's in the microwave... It sounds... It smells like it's ready... And... It hasn't... It hasn't pinged yet... But... Not that I'm timing it... But I reckon it's probably ready... Because I can smell it... I said... Are you sure though? Is he sure that's what you can smell? And he said... What else could I be able to smell... Other than the... Beef and onion pie? And I said...
[01:20:19] Maybe... And I thought... No, I can't just say his armpits... Can I? Because that would be... I don't know... I don't think it would go down too well... I guess that's something you need to discuss with the person first... Isn't it? Like... It could be an awkward conversation... So... You alright Tony? Yeah, you alright? Before we start our shift today... Tonight... I was just wondering if I can ask you something... Yeah... What is it?
[01:20:49] Well... Just want to know... Just in case... I... Have to heat up a... Beef and onion pie... In a microwave... And... A customer asks... Is there a beef and onion pie... Being heated up? Or maybe I haven't heated a beef and onion pie up... And if a customer asks...
[01:21:19] Is a beef and onion pie being heated up? And if there isn't a beef and onion pie being heated up... Is it okay if I tell them that it's your armpits? That they're smelling? It's weird to sort of bring that into a conversation isn't it? Especially when you've been talking about Star Trek... So... I was thinking... They overlap... There's an overlapping smell!
[01:21:48] It intrigued me... I didn't realise but it seems to still be... Intriguing me... For a weird way... For some reason my phone... Keeps turning off... I don't trust that phone... And then I started thinking... Beef and onion pie... Body odour...
[01:22:19] What they both got in common... Other than the smell... B.O. Beef and onion... B.O. Body odour... B.O. So I started thinking... Is that why they call... Beef and onion pies... Beef and onion pies? Because they smell like B.O. Then I thought... No that doesn't make sense... Maybe that's why they call B.O. B.O. Because it smells like a beef and onion pie... Again I thought...
[01:22:48] Perhaps I should ask him... But that didn't seem like how... When is a good time? I suppose directly after asking... If it's okay to point at his armpits... If a customer thinks they're smelling... A beef and onion pie being heated up... That would be probably the ideal... Entry into... That part of the conversation...
[01:23:19] So I delved in jewellery... And so that was okay... The perfume... That's it... Perfume... I did sell a little bit of perfume... Not a lot... A little bit... But not a lot... And I just thought... So that didn't really work... I loved the whole planning... Not the doing... But the dreaming...
[01:23:49] Not the doing... But the thinking about it... The idea of being an entrepreneur... It really appealed to me... And getting all these new things through... The post... About... You know... How to sell... Registration numbers... And... All things like that... But ultimately... Never really made any...
[01:24:18] Any money... I was probably at a loss... With the amount of money I paid out... Over the years... With that... You know... Not that I paid out a lot... But... I didn't have a lot come in either... So that's my entrepreneurial... Period... I think it kind of came to an end... By the time I was... By the time I was 19...
[01:24:48] I'd kind of... Kind of given up on that... I just didn't really pursue it anymore... But for a good... Like five years... What was that... 14... 15... 16... 18... 19... Maybe six years... I was really pursuing... Options... Looking at ways to... Maybe... Make some money... As an entrepreneur... I also tried... This was when I was...
[01:25:17] I think I was 18... Um... I was gonna sell... Water... Water filters... As a self-employed basis... But that didn't really work... Because I didn't have a car... And to carry around... Water filters... Is just... Yeah... It was a big old suitcase... And I thought... So that didn't work... Plus... I think they wanted money... From me... They wanted me to... Put down a deposit... On...
[01:25:47] Or to pay... For the first... Water filter... That I was gonna use... As a demonstration... Because they wouldn't be able... To use it again... They wouldn't be able... To sell it on... So I think they wanted me... To pay them that... And I said okay... And then I didn't speak... To them again... I just like left it... And it... It probably wasn't a lot of money... But... More than I had... Anyway...
[01:26:15] Perhaps that was their... Stick... Is... That was their way of selling... Water fillers... By employing people... On a self... Employed basis... It didn't cost them anything... And then they'd sell a water filler to them... I wonder how many interviews he did a week... How many jobs he gave away... A week...
[01:26:48] So that was pretty much the... That was that period... There was... I think what I would have liked to... Oh yeah... I did become a window cleaner... And it's not so much a... I mean it's entrepreneurial isn't it? It's self-employed... I became a window cleaner... And I cleaned... One window... I think it was my landlord's... My landlady's windows...
[01:27:17] And then... I left the ladder... And all my equipment... In her garage... Then I moved to Spain... Decided to move to Spain... Came back... The same day... After going to Spain for the afternoon... And she evicted me... And she wouldn't give me the... Wouldn't give me the ladder back...
[01:27:50] So that's... That's the end of Monday's Boring Objects... Talking about... Being an entrepreneur... Entrepreneurial... Ship... Being an entrepreneur... I don't know what I'm going to call it... I can't even spell the word... I literally can't say it either... So we'll see... See how this all comes out... But... That's it for me... So thank you...
[01:28:18] For listening... Remember... To be kind to yourself... Because you do deserve to be happy... And be gentle with yourself... Because... You deserve to feel safe... Lots of love...
[01:29:00] Not just allow you... To feel... Calmer... To feel... To feel... To feel...
[01:29:33] To feel...
[01:29:46] Have those feelings of relaxation continue for longer after the recording has ended,
[01:30:09] so that you can still benefit from listening to my voice, being a few hours time.
[01:30:33] By listening regularly, especially if you find, like some people do, and myself as well, sometimes I find one particular recording that really resonates with me, and I just listen to it over and over again.
[01:30:58] There was this recording from back to about 1999. It wasn't hypnosis, but it was a guided visualization, so it kind of was hypnosis really.
[01:31:24] I managed to find it again, and it still has the same effect. And part of it was the person's voice just felt so peaceful,
[01:31:54] and I'd look forward to listening to her in the morning and in the evening, before even pressing the play button. As soon as I'd done that, I pressed the play button.
[01:32:21] This was in the days of CD players. Press the play button. In fact, it might have even been a tape recorder.
[01:32:41] I'd lie down on the bed, and then, even without necessarily listening to her words, because it was a bit of a pause.
[01:33:03] It was as if my body exactly what to do. The muscles just almost went into automatic relaxation.
[01:33:41] Remember, my mind would slow down. I was listening to this recording. The early days of learning hypnosis.
[01:34:05] And long before I ever made any videos or audio recordings myself, because I didn't start doing that until 2006.
[01:34:19] Being able to just let go.
[01:34:44] I trust in the person that I'm listening to, and that it's going to be just as relaxing, if not more so each time you hear my voice.
[01:35:14] You may feel the same. Some people have been listening to me for over a decade,
[01:35:41] not solidly, obviously not 24 hours a day. Maybe people come back. Some people maybe listen every day. And something that I do, which you may not realise,
[01:36:26] these recordings also, that I say, so if I said to you, focus on your feet,
[01:36:57] notice your feet relaxing, I will be focusing on my feet. My feet relaxing.
[01:37:27] Let focus on your hands. And maybe notice the difference between each hand. Notice the air in the room, the temperature of the room.
[01:37:48] And you start to notice, what almost feels like a very light breeze. It may not be any type of breeze at all. where you are right now.
[01:38:25] As you become aware of,
[01:39:04] comes to potentially drifting, which may be the reason you're listening.
[01:39:34] Also notice that at times, I've actually fallen asleep.
[01:40:17] Listen back to do the editing. I hear snoring. I don't remember snoring. Snoring was a pig term, that's what I sound like when I snore.
[01:41:12] Do you feel in your feet, do you feel and notice easier?
[01:42:07] Your breathing becomes so almost like muscle relaxation.
[01:42:26] This allows you necessarily focusing so very easily.
[01:44:47] And to visualize,
[01:45:46] just taking some scenes to just,
[01:49:57] because nothing,
[01:50:20] enjoy your sensations.
[01:55:18] Muscles, front of your body,
[01:57:01] just on your mind,
[02:02:17] spreading those signals, down your spine, or core,
[02:03:47] tips of your toes,
[02:09:03] the space,
[02:13:18] in the center.
[02:23:28] And you could start to notice, that you are feeling more relaxed. Even though I've not purposely focused, your mind, sense of physical comfort, that is growing within you, throughout your body,
[02:24:02] starts to slow down. I guess my speech, not being particularly fast,
[02:24:34] just by listening to my voice. You give yourself an opportunity, to take a break, as it is. You give yourself a rest, giving yourself permission,
[02:25:04] to take some time off, and to allow your body to relax. which in turn, releases the tension, any stresses, that you had in your body.
[02:25:35] Almost as if, the parts of your body, just open up. At the same time, replacing, that negativity, with positive, and fills your body up.
[02:26:06] And to, also, check, those feelings, of increasing,
[02:27:25] almost reset, to the settings, things of, pleasure.
[02:27:52] And it feels nice.
[02:28:34] It does feel nice.
[02:29:17] And as I focus, just by focusing on it,
[02:31:20] this isn't a sterile, it sounds around. Notice how,
[02:31:46] that's so light,
[02:32:26] at the same time.
[02:33:14] Just, sides of your face,
[02:35:28] sides of your spine. As you move,
[02:36:04] either side of your spine, that starts to spread,
[02:37:13] just, almost, it needs to be an extra special,
[02:37:35] because muscles,
[02:38:09] those muscles,
[02:40:53] just,
[02:55:46] start counting,
[02:56:34] those steps, so, starting with number 20,
[03:17:52] focus in, just,
[03:17:54] that was a bit too quick.
[03:30:15] You try again, I'm going to go a bit slower. You focus on,
[03:32:35] just notice, how, how you feel, generally, how your body feels. It's not necessarily, even about, it's that space,
[03:33:06] space between, active, physically, or mentally, to just, sitting, or lying down. Just being there, not saying anything, not,
[03:33:38] so, it opens up a space. And the more, I count down from 10, so there's that gap of, calmness, relaxation.
[03:34:13] It's a nice feeling. Stresses, or discomforts, physically, or emotionally, moves them,
[03:34:43] just, so I'm going to count again, from 10 down to 1, and notice, that, gap, it's almost like, the stress, and attention, falls into the gap.
[03:35:54] 7,
[03:37:56] notice, the,
[03:38:55] start with, focusing,
[03:39:36] just focusing, the whole of your thigh, that leads, into your hip.
[03:40:14] Now this is a big area, strongest, muscles in your body,
[03:42:20] may sound,
[03:43:12] appreciate,
[03:44:04] as you focus on your knees, regardless of how your knees feel,
[03:44:36] it is how your thighs feel.
[03:45:27] It is, it's kind of strange, in a way, when you think, that logically, our wrists, are a lot thinner, than the rest of our arms, which is,
[03:45:56] can't see any problem with that, so much thinner, legs, from a physics perspective, or logical, even, it doesn't really make sense, that all this weight, would ultimately be,
[03:46:26] resting, supports us, supports our body,
[03:46:50] helps us, as the calf muscles,
[03:47:15] of course younger, I couldn't see the point, in calf muscles, didn't seem to do anything,
[03:48:24] going to focus on your feet, or just going to focus on the legs, and your feet, so maybe I should, focus on your feet, a little bit, the same as you, have your thighs,
[03:48:50] and you're focusing, on your thighs, there's still that, sensation of,
[03:49:32] actions, muscles, of course there's the muscles, big strong muscles,
[03:50:05] sensitive to the touch, the muscle, there's the blood vessels,
[03:50:36] sometimes, it'd be nice, if you could actually, put your fingers, inside your thighs, and massage, a massage on the outside, to be able to just massage, inside your thighs, massaging the thighs,
[03:51:52] it's really sensitive, it's an area, it's not really, it's almost like a hidden, it's almost, the sensitivity, just a little bit,
[03:54:10] because they deserve, to be treated, the precious bones, that they are, oh precious, as in all the other,
[03:54:39] you start to,
[03:57:23] have relief, when they sit down,
[03:58:43] they deserve, not just respect, they deserve, to take some time,
[03:59:44] because the legs, are so,
