Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. My name is Jason Newland and this is a Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Let Me Bore You to Sleep.

I've been doing these for a few days. This is the, I don't know, fifth or sixth one. And I actually do bore myself.

And as I talk to you, I could easily fall asleep and I might do. So, just remember, remember to only ever watch or listen to any of my sessions when you can safely close your eyes. It seems a bit silly really to say that this sleep session may cause drowsiness.

Yep. This bag of nuts may contain nuts. If you go to the, if you go to the doctor or go to the pharmacy, chemist, whatever you want to call them, and you buy sleeping tablets, it will actually say, there will be a warning on the box or the packet or the bottle, whatever, telling you that this product may cause drowsiness.

The sleeping pills. Anyway, I'm just going to talk and theory behind this session. It's just that I'm going to talk.

That's it. You can close your eyes if you feel like it. And don't worry about missing anything that I say because it's not really worth listening to, to be fair.

It's just me talking. Blah, blah, blah. And I'm just feeling so tired.

Oh, food and tired. You know that feeling where you're actually trying to stay awake or as you, that feeling in the morning because it seems no matter how early I go to bed or how long I've been asleep, when I wake up, I just sit to always feel tired. And I'll go to the toilet.

I could have missed that bit out, but yeah. I do a big, long, steamy wee. I'm still tired and I could very easily just lay down and go to sleep.

That's how I'm feeling at the moment. I could very easily, I should rename this to let me yawn you to sleep. It's just that feeling of can't be bothered.

Can't, just don't want to do anything. Just want to lay down or sit back in the chair, you know, whatever your situation is and just, just allow nature to just be at one with the universe. Allowing the, the powers of sleep to mix deeply within every atom of your body.

And in that moment, you're not actually trying to go to sleep. You're not necessarily trying to stay awake either. You just don't care, which is a, can be a nice feeling to really not care.

Not in a negative way, just in a completely can't be asked type of nothing matters. But at the moment, nothing matters. That gives you an opportunity to just relax into that feeling.

This is more about, I guess, awareness or mindfulness. Being in touch with how you feel. Relaxed and calm, sleepy, maybe heavy.

Maybe your body feels heavy. I don't know. Mine does, but I'm a bit overweight.

So it always feels a bit heavy. Although I have lost weight. Let me tell you about it.

This is the, the boring part. When I tell you about my life. Let me tell you about me losing weight.

I thought purposely, God, no, I actually am going to tell you. I wasn't joking. Now I'm really going to tell you.

I didn't purposely go to lose weight or didn't, you know, it wasn't really my aim. I wanted to lose a few inches on my tummy, you know, a few foot, a few foot maybe. And just over time, over the last few months, managed to slim down, which is good.

That is pretty much the entirety of that story. That was boring. That was a really boring story.

Imagine being on a date with me. It's like a first date and maybe you're excited. I'm blowing my own trumpet here, but maybe you're so excited to get to spend time with me.

Maybe you haven't been outside the house for 30 years. So spending time with me is pretty much swimming, going swimming with piranhas, which would also be equally interesting compared to being stuck indoors for 30 years. I don't know.

But, which I've never played without a parachute. So maybe I'm in that category, going to dinner with me. Anyway, maybe you're getting all excited about having dinner with me and sitting at that table.

I'll tell you that story that I just told you. And I'll just watch this. Probably a few seconds into the story, your eyes glaze over.

And I can actually see you struggling to keep your eyelids open. I've seen this many times before, especially with people who know that I'm interested in hypnosis. Know that I, you know, know some stuff, I guess, a little bit.

And there's this one particular person and he was a little bit nervous around me. So I imagine he had his own perceptions of hypnosis and maybe he, who knows what he thought was going to happen. Maybe he thought one minute he'd be talking to me, the next minute it'd be the other side of the world, missing a kidney.

I mean, who knows? Laying in a bath full of ice. Hopefully, you know, he didn't think that. Because, you know, I used to see his eyes glaze over and he'd try and keep his eyes open.

And this is during the day, you know, he was awake, but he really, I'd be talking to him in a very unusual situation, really. I know it's not that I was having long conversations with him, but we had even short conversations and it'd glaze over. I've known people like that, where they just talk and talk and talk and talk and just keep talking.

And sometimes I sat there and I thought, when are you going to run out of words? When are you going to breathe? Are you going to have to eat at some point? What kind of bladder, have you got a bladder of an elephant? Aren't you going to have to take a break to go to the toilet? But no, we keep talking on and on and on. And at the end of it, I feel so drained, so tired. I need to sleep.

And this is a guess. My guess is that that person that was talking on and on and on and on and on, that person left me. And he or she was feeling wonderful, feeling full of energy and alert and all those things.

And I was just absolutely drained. I've heard the term energy vampire being used. Never been a big fan of that term, really.

Because, you know, we all have different levels of tolerance, I was going to say, actually, for other humans. And it depends upon our cultures as well. See, this is very educational.

It might be boring. But, you know, you might learn something here. That was a big might.

You probably won't learn anything. Because, unfortunately, my facts are very, very mixed up with my made-ups. And I sometimes forget which is which.

And I also very, very often forget to care which is which. Not in a sense of lying to people, because I'm not a liar. But if I say something that I'm not sure is true, I will say that.

Because I've got this very, very rare condition. It's a very, very rare condition. I'm going to say it now.

Please don't tell anyone. Because it's a very strange human condition that you don't find very many places. There's no cure, I don't think.

So I just have to kind of live with it. I'm telling you this, and this is in confidence. So if you are still awake, then I apologise for the very, very loud person that's just entered the garden.

Can you probably hear them? It's quite funny, because I shouldn't say anything. I'd leave it. I wonder if loud people think loudly.

Do you ever wonder that? I wonder if loud people actually shout in their own minds. Instead of thinking, talking, they're shouting. It's like she's actually in the kitchen.

Anyway, back to my original. I'm doing quite good. I managed to keep a thread on this today.

I've got this rare condition. This rare condition, okay, where I don't need, I don't know why this is, but I don't need to be right. I don't need to be right.

So if I'm having a conversation with someone, and they say something that I know is untrue, for example, it might be as simple as a factual thing. It might be to do with boxing. I watch boxing.

Someone might say that a certain boxer was unbeaten, a great boxer from the past. That person was unbeaten, and I know that they weren't. I know, because I watch the fights, and I have a memory.

And plus Wikipedia helps. But I don't feel the urge to get into a discussion about it. Or need to have an argument or any of that stuff.

I don't care enough for being right. I don't care enough about being right to actually put any effort into being right. It makes very little difference to me what other people think when it comes to right and wrong.

You know, being right and being wrong. I'm not talking about morals here, or the law of the land. I'm just talking about that mental block that a lot of people have, where they need to be right.

Even if they start a conversation out with somebody, and they say something, believing it to be right, and the other person says something which reminds him or her about something that disproves their own belief, and they realise that they're wrong. Some people continue to fight to be right, even though they kind of know that they're wrong. They need to be right.

Need to be perceived to be right. And I think during that process, even though the evidence goes against this limiting belief that they may have, it doesn't seem to dent it, or get in the way of it. They cling to it.

Cling to it like a small child that's just run out into the road, you know. You grab that child, you grab your kid, and you hold on to them, and all kinds of emotions are going on. Or you cling to it like a goldfish.

When you're trying to change a goldfish's water, and it's trying to wiggle and get out of your hand. I'm not comparing those two things. I'm not comparing changing a goldfish bowl to a child that has a near miss in a road.

Very different things. So I wonder how you're doing right now. Are you still with me? Because I noticed the other day, well it was last night, but I can say the other day.

Why did I correct myself? You wouldn't know. I didn't need to tell you that. But it was last night.

And I was watching a video on YouTube, and I'm not even sure what it was for. So I watched this video, and I felt like I was watching it for ages. It was really good, and I thought I wonder how much longer left there is.

Because I'm enjoying this. And I looked at the video, and the video is only four and a half minutes long. And there was only about a minute left.

So three and a half minutes can seem like a long time. And there's this concept that time goes a lot quicker when you're having fun, and a lot slower when you're not. Well, not always, I don't think.

It might just be that we want the time to last longer. You know, on a weekend, maybe a bank holiday weekend, or if you've got it on holiday, you might want the days to last longer. Because it's a holiday, but I think it's a bit greedy really, isn't it? There's one thing, you know, you might work hard, and you deserve a holiday, that's brilliant.

But I don't think working hard gives you the right to mess with the time continuum. You know, I think we should leave all that stuff alone. And start messing with that, and what's next, you know? We'll be looking for cures for diseases and illnesses, instead of going to war.

Ooh, controversial. So, the idea is, if you're waiting in a bank, time goes slowly. Especially, I remember, that's another interesting story.

I remember I was in a building society. No, it was a bank. No, it was a bank.

Why haven't I said the word building society for years? I've not even been, had any association with a building society for 12 years. Anyway, I went to, I was in the bank. And there was a queue of people.

A few people in front of me. Progressively more behind. And there was this one person, who decided to have a conversation with the bank teller, or the bank assistant, or the cashier, or whatever title they may enjoy having.

And, I was staring at the clock. And you know people say, when you're waiting in a bank, time always goes slowly, when you're in a queue. Well, that's not even necessarily true.

Not that I care, and I won't have an argument about it. But you think about it, two different scenarios. One, like my scenario, so I'm in a queue.

Everything is exactly the same, except two things. One, I'm in a queue. And, I need to get back to work.

And it's quarter to one in the afternoon. I need to be back at work at one. And I know that the journey is at least ten minutes.

You know, the quickest I can get back home, I don't live there. The quickest I can get back to work is in ten minutes. And that's walking at a very, very quick pace.

And I can't run because I'll end up all sweaty. Also, no job is that important for me to run. So I'm standing in the queue, in the bank.

More and more people building up behind me. This person in front, talking and talking and talking. The cashier behind the glass of the bank.

Her eyes were glazing over. Struggling to keep her eyelids open, maybe. And the person talking, thinking about what else he's right about.

And how he can tell her about this. And there are two different scenarios. Everything else is the same.

So one is the one I just said. I've got five minutes to be seen before I have to leave to get to work. So I've got fifteen minutes to be back at work.

Then there's another different scenario. The scenario is I need to go to the toilet. I need to poo.

I feel like I'm going to give birth. It really, really doesn't feel good. And the nearest toilet is a good six minute walk away.

Both those experiences will be different. Because as I'm waiting to go to work, the time will go quicker. It'll go slow, but at the same time, looking at that clock, it'll keep ticking.

Eleven minutes to, ten minutes to. You know, I'll be going down. Nine minutes to, eight minutes to.

Knowing that I've got less and less time. And that man is still at the cashier talking. And I get worried and I kind of give up when I hear him say this sentence.

Sixty years ago. And that was the beginning of that sentence. And I notice that I'm just not going to get back to work on time.

So I have a situation. So I'm standing there on one leg. Trying not to think of chocolate.

Probably with a pain in my stomach. Very uncomfortable. Thinking to myself, where's the... Not only where the closest toilet is, but where's the closest clothes shop where I can get some new pants.

And trousers if I need them. You know, being strategic. Planning.

For all eventualities. And as I look at the clock. It'll be as if time is going backwards.

And that man at the cashier counter at the bank. I'll just be hearing him. Talking.

Hearing him say those famous words. During the war. And I think, oh.

Uncle Albert. Hurry up. And leave.

So that I can release this little alien from my body. Perception is such a strange thing. I find it very interesting.

What a boring way... What a boring way to say the word interesting. I find it very interesting. Very excited about the prospect.

Yes. Yeah, I can't wait to get married. Yeah.

Yeah, happy birthday. I know that in the past. There's been times when.

I felt so good. That pretty much nothing would make a difference. To that.

That's the whole of that story really. That was it, it was only a sentence. I think when I started that sentence.

I was planning to say more. But I lost interest. Yeah.

I can't nearly fall asleep myself. As I'm thinking about the beginning of that sentence. You know I think of.

Sounds, outside sounds, background sounds. Neighbours sounds. When I'm asleep or going to bed or whatever.

I think of those sounds like the trees. Like the wind. Just a bunch of sounds.

Flowing around. So I'm going to probably bring this to an end. I've told you lots of exciting stories.

And. That's it. See you next time.