Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. When I started these sessions I didn't realise how famous I was going to become. No, I'm joking.

When I started these, I didn't know that I was going to be doing them so regularly. I've ended up doing them nearly every day. So yeah, that was it — that was the whole sentence. Still isn't anything more to add, really, to that.

The back of my neck is hurting today. Last night I felt like I'd pulled something, pulled a muscle or something in my neck. But it's not just the neck — it's right at the back and it's going all the way up into my head. It might just be my spine. Nothing serious, just my spine. So I went to bed at about half two, so I got a bit of sleep.

I can't be bothered — isn't it really bad when I can't be bothered to be boring? Maybe I'll be exciting instead.

Right, so these sessions — only watch or listen to this when you can safely close your eyes. These are basically me just talking, allowing you the space to relax and maybe drift off into a nice, calm sleep.

The thing is, I had a comment on my YouTube channel, which is Jason Newland's Sleep Hypnosis — that's the name of the YouTube channel. I post these sessions, I turn them into videos and post them onto that channel. I had somebody say — it was someone called Beanytownvlogs, or I know her as Bostonchickie, or Beantownvlogs, something like that — anyway, she said that she found these sessions good for reducing anxiety, so that was nice to hear. I was hoping to increase people's anxiety, but I seem to have failed. Not really, not really.

The thing is, it all kind of fits together. Things like anxiety, stress, insomnia, chronic pain — all those kinds of things — there's a massive connection. So if you tackle one of them, then all of them are affected.

I always remember — when I was in the Sea Cadets — I won't hopefully always remember, because I'm quite happy for those memories to leave me, as they're not very particularly interesting. At the moment I still remember, mildly. I say I remember — I don't have clear, definitive, high-definition memory of really anything that happened when I was in the Sea Cadets. I was in there for a couple of years. I'll tell you something: in the Sea Cadets, there are rankings, like in the Navy — you get stripes on your shoulder and things like that. The point of the Sea Cadets is it's a precursor to joining the Navy. For those that want to join the Navy, when they're kids, they can go in and learn about lots of the aspects to do with the Navy.

So, I've forgotten exactly what I was going to say. Oh yeah, I'm going to tell you this story. Wait until you hear this. This really is a ginger nut and cup of tea story. Maybe digestives, but maybe a special occasion. Sometimes it is nice, isn't it, just to do something a little bit different.

You might have a regular routine, which is not to be scoffed at. Some people think a routine is boring. You know what? It probably is. But the thing is, a routine is quite healthy. Just think about it — the most problematic people, the people who have the hardest time in society, are the most chaotic. And chaos doesn't like routine.

Oh, a little cough there. That's nice. So — a little connection there — introducing some routine into a chaotic lifestyle starts to change things. Just like introducing routine into a chaotic mind, or a mind that seems a little bit... For me, it sometimes feels like the mind has a kind of demonstration, like a public demonstration. You know, sometimes it feels like the mind just goes on strike. My mind goes on strike and then pickets outside the factory. And maybe I should be listening and looking at the picket boards they're holding up, saying: too much stress, too much worrying, too much thinking. So maybe I have pushed my brain too much — to do too many things, to think too much, to analyse too much, to worry, to be scared.

You know, because it takes a lot to be scared. It takes a lot of energy, especially to be scared about everything. And not only is that person maybe scared about everything, they're also one of the most creative people — just to be able to come up with situation after situation in your mind, examples of something going wrong, to create endless events that haven't even happened, that might happen, but probably won't ever happen. That's a skill. That's a really amazing skill. It's kind of a wasted skill. I mean, that would be like Whitney Houston only ever singing when she was on the toilet. That's a wasted skill. Can you imagine Whitney Houston never going in public and singing? She only sung when she was in a toilet or in the shower. What a waste of a talent.

Well, maybe not a waste, because she's enjoying herself. Maybe the neighbours are enjoying her too — but maybe the neighbours aren't. Maybe they're thinking, banging on the wall, saying, "Whitney, stop singing. Who do you think you are, Mariah Carey?"

So, I was in the Sea Cadets. Oh, the mind pickets outside. I sometimes feel that's what's happening in my brain. Other times, I feel like there's a demonstration, like a big street demonstration, like there are in London and New York and big cities — thousands of people walking down the street. You know what I always find — I don't always, I say that as a sentence, but I don't mean it. I always breathe, generally, even at night. When I sleep, sometimes I stop breathing quite regularly, I think.

You know, I've noticed that sometimes on the news there's a demonstration, and there are these people demonstrating about something very, very serious. Placards — you know, big boards with writing on them. And there are thousands of those. I'm not sure they need that many. They only really need one at the front, don't they? Like a big one at the front so people can see. Maybe one at the back, so people know what it's about. You don't need one all the way through. You know, if you go into a shop like McDonald's, the McDonald's sign is at the front, above the entrance. I was hoping for a better example than that.

I think maybe the reason my neck is hurting is because of the way I'm sitting here. I wonder if it would be better if I lay down. Oh, let me see. No, not at all — it's probably less comfortable, if anything. I've never felt so angry. That's why I don't like to lie down when I do these, because I do now feel like going to sleep.

So, when I was in the Sea Cadets — I really wish I'd think more before I go back to various things I was talking about previously, because I've gone back to the Sea Cadets and I've really forgotten what my point was. So I'm now trying to distract you a bit while I try and remember what it was I was going to say. And I'm wondering — telling you that I'm trying to distract you — it may be that it might not work as well.

Oh, by the way, I've been working on my website and stuff. I've got a new YouTube channel for chronic pain — it's Jason Newland's Chronic Pain Hypnosis, or something like that. Chronic Pain Relief Hypnosis. Anyway, I finished sorting that channel out. And oh yeah, I was working on my website, the main website, jasonnewland.com. I want to sit up again. Oh, my neck actually hurts. I don't know why. Maybe it needs chopping off.

So, I was in the Sea Cadets. No, it's still gone. So, I'm working on my website. I've added a testimonial page to the site. I used to have that before, a couple of times, but I have to pay for it — it costs me money every month to have that on there, so that people can submit their own testimonials. If you have any thoughts about what I do, please go to my website, click on the testimonial page at the top of the screen, and just add your own testimonial. Maybe just say something nice. Well, ideally, say something nice. If you say something horrible, then I'm just going to delete it.

You know, in the same way as if you give me a roast dinner and then spread peanut butter all over the top of it — I'm probably not going to eat it. In fact, I won't eat it. Someone writing a bad testimonial or putting a horrible comment online about me is very much like receiving a cooked roast dinner covered in peanut butter. I think that's the connection. Oh, my neck.

You're about to hear some background sounds. Maybe that's the secret — to hope there are background sounds. And there are none. Instead of sitting here wishing there won't be any.

I feel like I need to put some kind of neck brace on. The strange thing about it is, I wake up with a neck — well, I wake up every day with a neck — but sometimes I wake up with a bit of a neck strain, or maybe I slept on it wrong. You're not supposed to sleep on your neck, are you? You're supposed to sleep on your body, with your head resting on a pillow or something. If you manage to actually sleep on your neck, that's a yoga position that hasn't been invented. And it started last night, and I hadn't even been to sleep. Mind you, I was watching The Walking Dead. Maybe that's what happened. It could be as simple as: I'm 47, and that's what happens.

It could just be that. We all get aches and pains. It's not really a big deal, is it? I kind of find it quite funny, really, in some ways. It always seems to be one part of my body that's a little bit out of sync. I rarely wake up and think, "Right, today's the day of the marathon. I'm going to run that marathon. I'm going to fly to the moon."

I wonder what it would be like to be super positive all the time. And how do those people get friends? I'm not talking about just happy-ish people — I'm talking about the go-getters. "Everything, you can do anything!" Maybe I'm a little bit on the other side of things. A little bit more miserable sometimes, which I am. Sometimes I'd like nothing more than to roll up in front of the fire, on the rug, and just feel sorry for myself. Yep, I am a dog. Actually, I am a dog. I like to metamorphose into a dog and just give myself a nice wash.

So that's kind of it for today, because I'm sitting in quite an unusual position. And there's no reason why I have to do this sitting in bed. I'll tell you what's strange — I've spent years and years and years, I mean I'm talking 28 years or whatever, where most of the time I'd be sitting up in bed. I don't mean the whole time — I mean when I was at home watching television, because I'd be living in a small room that only had enough space for a single bed and maybe a wardrobe. There was no room for a chair or anything like that. So I used to sit up in bed. But now, the last few years, I've been sitting in chairs, and sitting up in bed is actually not as comfortable as I remember it. Oh well.

So I hope that I've managed to bore you. I'm going to go and have some food. But not peanut butter. Take care. My name is Jason Newland, website is jasonnewland.com. Please leave a testimonial — yes, thank you — if you would, that'd be brilliant. Take care. See you next time. Bye.