Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is today's edition of Let Me Bore You To Sleep. I'm recording this a little bit later than normal, but it'll still be uploaded and available for your boredom today, a couple of hours after recording it. Obviously not a couple of hours after you're listening to this — because you'll be listening to it in a couple of hours, or maybe in a few months, who knows when you listen to this.

So only listen or watch any of my hypnosis sleep sessions when you can safely close your eyes. I'm not going to ask you to close your eyes. I'm not going to ask you to become more relaxed physically. I'm not going to ask for your mind to start slowing down. I'm not going to ask for you to start to notice increased comfort. I'm not going to ask you to notice how your stress levels are starting to dissolve. I'm not going to ask you to really notice the changes in how you feel. All I'm going to ask you to do is just to listen to my voice. That's it. And I'll just talk about certain things.

Some days I will talk about what's going on in my life. It's weird that I stress the word "my" in that sentence — my life — as opposed to the life of somebody that I don't know about. That'd be quite weird, difficult in fact, for me to talk about someone else's life if I don't know them. So I do try and stick to what I know, which is my own life experiences. And nothing I say is necessarily of any importance. Maybe there might be — that's not even a proper sentence, is it? — perhaps possible pieces of information that I might discover along the way and present to you within this session of me just talking.

And although it may seem like all I'm doing is just waffling on — you're right, that is all I'm doing — no, there's a little bit more to it. There isn't just one end result. That end result isn't just you falling asleep whilst I'm talking, because this might not be the right time. Maybe you're using this session to just relax, and you can become accustomed or connected to my voice in a way that whenever you hear me talking, it might trigger a sense of comfort, calmness. And that in itself can be really useful for you, especially when you need it.

And that's among the most obvious sentences I've said for a while — it could be really helpful for you if you need it. That's kind of obvious. That's not even a particularly exciting sentence, is it? But however, this is your time to just... I'm going to just move the covers over, releasing my feet, and wiggle my toes. That's a new thing I'm into, wiggling my toes. See, even new hobbies are boring.

There are certain things that I do to relax. I'll give you an example. Last night, I didn't feel very well emotionally, so I went to the toilet. That's not the whole story, by the way. I mean, if going to the toilet helps you to feel better, then that's a good thing, obviously. But this story isn't really about the toilet — it's not a hugely relevant part of the story. But to me, it's like a jigsaw puzzle. If you've got a jigsaw puzzle, and it's a scenic view — you've got trees, you've got the sky, you've got fields — you might have the whole picture, pretty much. There might be a piece of the sky missing. And even though you can see everything on there, you're going to notice that missing cloud. That's a metaphor for me going to the toilet in this particular story. Missing pieces of jigsaw puzzles, very much like going to the toilet. It's kind of an unusual connection to make.

But I'll get on with the story, because I'm sure you're really looking forward to the end of it. After going to the toilet, I decided to listen to the radio on my television. So it's a radio station called Smooth — quite relaxing sounds, relaxing songs from the past. I turned the light off in the room and just reclined in my black recliner chair. I guess I didn't need to mention it was a recliner, because I just told you that I reclined. I wouldn't be able to recline if it was a standard chair, unless I had a really bendy back, or I just sat on it the wrong way around, or I'd somehow readjusted the chair with power tools or something. But I haven't done any of that. Besides, I don't think that would have been very relaxing.

So I just reclined back in the chair and took my glasses off. It might seem a little bit unusual to take glasses off when you've got your eyes closed. It might seem a bit unusual to leave them on. I don't know. But it feels quite relaxing to take the glasses off and put them on the side. I was going to do a pun there and say, in fact, it feels quite spectacular. Spectacular. Oh well.

And I really could feel the air in the room on my face, around my eyes. Even though my glasses aren't made of heavy steel — I don't have to take them off when I go jogging because of the weight — well, actually, I don't go jogging. So that's not a very good example, really. But then you're not going to know that I don't go jogging unless I tell you. But then I just have told you.

I used to go jogging years ago. In fact, when I was little — I say little, when I was about 8 — I used to like running around a park near where I lived. I used to run around the park, just jogging gently. There was no ice cream waiting for me at the finish line, no reason to really rush. So I just went gently, got in the groove, and just kept going and going and going. I always quite liked it.

And then when I got to about 11 or 12, I had my appendix out. I was quite inactive physically for a few weeks because of the stitches in my stomach — I just had to be a little bit careful. I remember when I had the stitches out, went to the hospital just to have that done and have a checkup. And I decided — I actually said to my parents — "I'm going to start going running, start getting fitter." I don't think they were really taking much notice of what I was saying. I don't even recall if either of them answered. I suppose it wasn't that relevant to them. But to me it was, and I decided to do that, and I stuck to it.

When I was in hospital with my appendix — because I've been in hospital twice for operations, one was for my adenoids, because I used to be partially deaf in one ear and used to suffer with earaches — I was told I had a slow pulse. At least, I might be misremembering that. I don't mean I'm lying. I mean, clearly I'm not making it up to add excitement — I'm adding filler, a bit of extra sugar to the apple crumble, so to speak. But I know that when I was 11 or 12 and had my appendix out, I was told by the nurse — Nurse Nichols, her name was, I really liked her — that I had a very slow pulse.

And I said, "Oh, what does that mean?" I'm not sure if I was really interested in the answer. What I was interested in was spending just a few more minutes with Nurse Nichols, because I really liked her. And I was only 11. She was a lot older than me — probably not very old herself, maybe 19 or 20, but still a bit old for an 11-year-old. None of that happened, by the way. I did give her a piece of fruit when I left the hospital, which seemed like a really nice thing to do at the time. But on reflection, it's a really rubbish present, isn't it? Giving someone a piece of fruit is no more romantic or generous or exciting than giving someone a toilet roll or some sellotape or a bag of rice. I don't think she remembered me. I don't think it was a memorable gift. But I wanted to give her something, and I was still a kid.

Anyway, the nurse said to me, "You've got a very slow pulse." And I said, "Oh, what does that mean?" She said, "The good thing is —" and then she left a pause. I said, "Yeah." She said, "The good thing is, you could be a long distance runner." Now at the time, I think I wanted to be a policeman. It was dependent on quite a few things, one being whether or not I was going to be tall enough — because in those days, you had to be a certain height. And I was never tall enough to be a policeman. When I was younger, it doesn't seem to matter now.

That's what was another reason why I couldn't — yeah. I did steal a chocolate bar once. I'm not proud of myself, and I'm not advocating stealing Mars bars. In no way am I saying you should all go out and steal Mars bars. If you can't afford a Mars bar, maybe save up some money, or ask somebody if they might buy you one. Possibly you might have a friend or relative that already has a Mars bar they might share with you. Or maybe you might know someone that's bought a big pack — a fun pack — and they might give you one. Although the Mars bars are smaller, it's still better than breaking the law. You know, it's a slippery slope — start with Mars bars and you end up stealing Snickers. It's not worth going down that road.

But yeah, I did want to be a police person. And then I thought: so I've got a slow pulse — does that mean I'll live longer? Because animals that have very fast heartbeats generally live less time. I guess the world is moving slower for them, because everything in their mind is going quickly. So for me, maybe everything's moving fast and I'm the one moving slowly. I do like to just observe the world, observe what's going on, without getting emotionally involved in whatever may be occurring.

So I had this idea in my mind that I was going to become a long distance runner. And I remember one day — I think it was a sports day, some track event at school — there were a few of us getting ready to go. And I did the hundred metres. And I beat everybody. I was way ahead of everyone. I couldn't believe how fast I was running. And I thought, well, maybe it's not just long distance — I can do shorter distances as well. So I get to the finish line. I remember the feeling of glory as I got to the finish line at the hundred metres. And I just turned around because I was going to make some funny faces at the others as they crossed the line behind me. And something happened — I was very surprised. They kept on running. It turned out it was the 200 metres. And to this day, I'm still not sure if I would have done well in the 200. Or was it the 400? Anyway, it was a lot. They were running for what seemed like ages.

Then as I got older, I started doing karate, and I did go jogging regularly. Every morning I'd be out running down the beach, getting myself fit. I used to love it. And ever since, throughout my adult life, I've had periods when I went out jogging and running. So I'm not really sure what the point of that story was. I think sometimes I just want to tell people stuff, and just know that it's done now. I've told you the story, and we can all just move on with our lives. You know, let's not let this hold us back. Let's not let this story affect our friendship. I've told you the story, and I appreciate that it might not have been life-changing.

However, the ability to let go of your own stuff — and to be able to find that place in your mind where you can just sit there, or lie there, and just be at peace — comfortable, calm, with a sense of quiet inside you. And that feeling of comfort isn't dependent upon outside stuff. It's not dependent upon the house being silent, or everyone outside being quiet. You don't have to have music playing, necessarily. It'll just be your place. Your safe, healing place. It's like a room, maybe. But for me, it's more a feeling. There have been many times I've got into that state, that mode of just release, where I'm not really thinking about anything. I'm just in touch with a sense of comfort that's just naturally there for me, and for you, to enjoy. Knowing that you can have this feeling whenever you wish.

I just think it's a good opportunity to take advantage of your natural ability to embrace that sense of calmness — not just in your body, but also in your mind. And there's a real sense of now, a real sense of this very moment. I just went to scratch my eye and forgot that I didn't have my glasses on, so I actually put my thumb underneath the imaginary glasses to get to my eye. I just thought I'd let you know what's going on while we're together.

How's your body feeling right now? You can just get in touch with those physical sensations that you can feel. Your muscles relax. In the background, there's a plane in the distance — it's nice sometimes to have those types of sounds that make this recording unique, or not, depending on how you feel about planes. How does your mind feel right now? How calm is your mind? How loose are your shoulders, your neck, and your chest? How relaxed is your whole upper body? How relaxed are your hips? How relaxed are your legs, feet, and toes? How relaxed are your arms and your hands? How relaxed is your mind? And the good thing about being able to just let go and relax in your own time — allowing me and you to just share this space of comfort easily and naturally, just being here — just me on my bed, sitting up in a room that's now dark.

Compared to what it was when I started this, my stomach is making some quite strange sounds. I think I'm hungry, or my stomach has created a new language. I can hear the birds outside. There's a real sense of stillness, apart from that one really loud bird. All the other birds are quiet. I'm wondering if the other birds are thinking, "Oh no, we've got a noisy neighbour. They're at it again." All the other birds are just asleep, settled down, comfortable. They had something to eat — a little worm pie, maybe, for dessert, one meringue or something. They're just watching some telly, maybe the Sopranos or Sesame Street. I don't know, whatever birds like to watch. Sesame Street, I suppose — Big Bird. Even the birds then were making a little bit of sound, but now they've quietened down. I think they might have gone out to the pub. You can just hear the faint sound of the other birds in their individual nests, gossiping about their new neighbours.

My stomach continues to try to communicate with me with some very unusual sounds. Maybe it's a sign of relaxation. I might need to go to the toilet. It might be because I had a ginger nut biscuit before I started this recording. I do like ginger nuts, but sometimes the ginger can cause my tummy to become a bit too vocal. I've now got a little craving for ginger cake — not something I eat very regularly, but I do like a bit of ginger cake.

So I guess I'll start talking about ginger cakes. But what it means is the session is coming near to its finale. So I'm going to say goodbye, and hopefully I will make another one of these Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings tomorrow. You can listen to this on my website, jasonnewland.com, on my podcast on Podbean — it's called Let Me Bore You To Sleep — on my SoundCloud podcast, and also on my sleep hypnosis podcast on Podomatic. Or you can watch the video on my sleep hypnosis YouTube channel. It's really just a case of finding whatever you choose, however you like to watch or listen to these sessions. If you're a user of Tunein, or Spreaker, or iTunes — whatever ones you use — I'm there. I'm on most of the podcast hosts.

So that's pretty much everything for me for today. Thank you for watching and listening — or listening or watching, whichever way you're experiencing this recording. Please remember to be kind to yourself. Take care. Bye.