New Addiction Podcast

Hi Luke

It's me again. Just thought I'd mention that I have started a new podcast kind of as a tribute to you. It's called "Help with Addiction". I've now done 2 episodes, and to be honest, I don't think they are very good. Anyways, I thought I'd mention it.

#2 - Friends - Help with Addiction – Jason Newland

I actually believed that I may be able to say something useful to help others suffering with Addiction, but I'm not sure if I have at all. I have good intentions, but I find myself being a bit negative towards the drug addict lifestyle, which wasn't really my intention. 

Of course I have no positive thoughts towards it, so it's kinda hard pretend that there are any benefits to taking crack, heroin or whatever else, every day. I see no upside to that lifestyle. Not that my lifestyle is much good either. 

I just wish I could have done more to help you when you were alive. By that I don't mean materialistically, but maybe therapeutically. I feel I failed you in many ways and am sorry for that. For years I had the belief that just by sitting and talking & listening with someone, I could create some kind of positive change. I was so wrong. 

Perhaps it is better I just stick to making podcasts where I talk about nothing instead of actually actively trying to help people overcome emotional obstacles in their lives.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I'm going to do any more of the addiction podcast, as I don't really feel qualified. I'm also still upset and its a bit too personal for me. I may revisit it in the future, unless I get some kind of positive feedback from listeners. 

Vinnie seems to have got used to Loggie not being here, which is good. He was acting a bit strange for a while, but is now being quite affectionate to me. The first few days, he wouldn't even sit in the same room as me. He was off his food, but now has a big appetite. He misses playing with you. 

Right now, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. I feel a bit trapped, living here. If i try and get a council swap, I will have to tell the other person I'm swapping with what its' like around here. It's not fair to let someone move in here without knowing some of the Vampires. Can you imagine a person moving in here and then getting a knock on the door with someone standing there asking to borrow money? I can't put anyone else through that. 

The bills are going up. I got paid yesterday a7 now have £56.87 to last me. When I told my little brother how much I was losing every month running this free service, he said "Just stop doing it" "Close it down". Well, If I did that, what would I have to live for? This is all I've got. Other than Vinnie there is no reason to get out of bed. 

Most listeners don't realize how much it costs to run this thing. (more than I can afford). However, I will keep going for as long as possible. I remember a while back people telling me that it shouldn't cost me much. Bless their little wooly ears! 

It's 8.46pm and I'm going to tale Vin out for a quick walk then off to bed. I could use another early one. I've got quite a lot of website stuff done today. Tomorrow I'd better do a new" Let me bore you to sleep". 

See ya xxx



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